Original subtitles

Wildcats, Wildcats, hold that line.

They can't score 'cause you're so fine.

Wildcats, Wildcats, you're the tough.

Run that ball and never stop.

Go, Wildcats!

[LAUGHS] Go, Wildcats!

So, what do you think?

You are just jealous because I have a chance

to become head cheerleader.

Karen, I know you're into this whole school-spirit stuff

but I just don't see why anyone would want to be a cheerleader

unless they were a empty-headed teenybopper.

CAROL: Go, Wildcats!

Wildcats, Wildcats, it's your ball.

Take that ball and score, score, score!

Go, Wildcats!

[SHRIEKING]

Carol, you're not trying out for head cheerleader too, are you?

Oh, of course not.

But they chose Becky Ann Frasier.

The tramp.

Anyway, that's all in the past, isn't it?

Ready, go.

[IN UNISON] Wildcats, Wildcats, it's your show.

Take that ball and go, go, go.

Go, Wildcats!

[BOTH SHRIEKING]

[SCREAMING]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

♪ What would be the future?

♪ Could you pay the cost?

♪ You wonder

♪ Will there ever be

♪ A second time around?

♪ And the moment has come

♪ Say "My Lord I think I found someone"

♪ You know it will be better

♪ 'Cause you're putting it together

♪ For the second time around

ALL: ♪ Step by step, day by day

WOMAN: ♪ Day by day

♪ A different hand to play

♪ The deeper we fall

♪ The stronger we stay

WOMAN: ♪ We'll make it better

MAN: ♪ The second time around ♪

So, Ms. Butkus, how would you describe

your approach to housekeeping?

Discipline.

I believe in obedience, order

and a strict adherence to the rules.

Such as no sitting on the arm of the couch.

And no putting your feet on the coffee table.

Well, I'll tell you what.

We'll get back to you real soon

about the housekeeping job.

Thank you, Mr. Lambert.

Wipe that smirk off your face.

Whoa, she was scary.

Yeah, well, I got one more interview left.

But she's running a little late.

But, Dad, we gotta go.

Yeah, I know. Uh, J.T., listen.

Carol's still at the pediatrician with the baby.

So, if this last one shows up and she doesn't scare you

just get her number and I'll call her back, okay?

-Sure, no problem. -Okay, come on, son.

Truck's out back.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[CHUCKLES] Hi, I'm Carrie Clark, I'm here to apply

for the housekeeping position.

Uh...

I apologize for being late.

No problem. No problem at all. Please, please, sit down.

Sit down. Ha-ha.

Can I get you something to drink?

Uh, water? Juice? Uh, dry Chardonnay?

[LAUGHS]

No, I'm fine, thanks.

So, I have to be honest with you,

I've never been a housekeeper before.

You see, I need to do something to pay the bills till I make it as model.

-Model? -Mmm-hmm.

[CHUCKLES]

Is that your, uh, model picture thingy there?

Portfolio? Yes, I just came from an audition.

Ah, do you mind if I, uh, have a look?

Sure, go ahead.

[CHUCKLES] Swimsuit.

[GASPS] Lingerie. [CHUCKLES]

[GASPS] You're hired! You are.

-Hey, Cody. -CODY: Hey.

Brendan said you needed my boom box. What's up?

Oh, man. I'm teaching aerobics class in the backyard.

Got some major babes out there.

They need some music that's funky

'cause they don't wanna be chunky.

[CHUCKLES]

-Major babes, huh? -Yeah.

Mind if I audit your class?

Eh, audit away, boy wonder.

Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you.

-Hey, Codeman. -Hey.

Uh, Cody...

I thought you said you were teaching some major babes.

Dude, these ladies are all over 70.

If you get any more major than that, dude,

you're in the ground.

[LAUGHS]

Come on, Codeman, the sooner we start movin'

the sooner me and the hubby can start groovin'.

[LAUGHS] You got it.

Cody, what is she talking about?

Oh, well, hey.

The other day I was over at Carol's beauty salon,

you know, fixing the sink and, uh,

I overheard these ladies talking about how

their love life had gone from hot-hot-hot

to, uh, not-not-not.

You know what I mean.

Well, Cody, they're in their seventies.

Isn't that kind of natural?

Au contraire, mi petitdude.

I mean, look, the body, it's kind of like an automobile engine, okay?

If you keep it finely tuned

you can expect a certain high level of performance,

if you know what I mean, huh?

[LAUGHS]

Come on. There we go.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Alright, ladies. Let's get lined up here now.

Loosen those legs, huh? Come on.

This ain't bingo night, you know? [LAUGHING]

All right, here we go.

And one, up the steps.

And two, all the way down.

And up, and up.

Boy, heads will be turnin' at the Sizzler tonight, huh?

[LAUGHS]

They can't score 'cause you're so fine.

Wildcats, Wildcats, you're the top.

Run that ball and never stop.

Go, Wildcats!

[CHEERING]

That was just great, everybody.

Now, I know you all know that tomorrow

is tryouts for head cheerleader.

So, I want you to get plenty of rest, okay?

-Okay. -Uh-huh.

Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hi, honey. Hi.

Mom, what are you doin' here?

so I thought I'd give you a ride home.

Mom, it's two blocks.

Well, I had a little extra time. [CHUCKLES]

Hi, I'm Carol Lambert, class of '72.

[LAUGHS] I'm Karen's mother.

Oh, Karen's one of our best cheerleaders.

Well, I guess it kind of runs in the family.

I was a cheerleader myself.

-Oh. -[CHUCKLES]

-Go, Wildcats. -Whoa!

[LAUGHING]

-Yeah. -Ooh!

-Oh. -No, that's...

Can still get up there.

That's great.

Actually, I was supposed to be head cheerleader

my senior year, but they gave it to Becky Ann Frasier.

That tramp.

Well, it's been just great talking to you

and hearing all about your cheerleading career.

Buh-bye.

-Can we go, Mom? -No, no, no.

We have a lot of work to do.

Well, honey, I was watching the entire practice

through that little window over there and, really,

your high kick has no extension at all.

We have to work on your hamstrings.

But, Mom, I have algebra homework.

Oh, right. And when is algebra gonna help you in real life?

Come on, come on, come on.

Okay, get that ankle up and over your head

like that Becky Ann Frasier, that tramp.

Come on, come on, come on, higher, come on.

One, and kick, and two, and kick.

Higher! Higher!

Higher! Higher!

J.T., I just cannot believe

that you hired a housekeeper without my approval.

Dad, I just didn't want to take a chance

on somebody else hiring her.

Well, she had better be good.

[LAUGHS]

She's way past good.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

-Hi, J.T. -Hi, come on in.

Dad, I want you to meet our new housekeeper,

Miss Carrie Clark.

Uh, hi. Hi.

I really appreciate J.T. giving me this chance.

I mean, especially since I've never done any housekeeping before.

Really?

Well, the...

out of the living room here.

-Walk with me, huh? -Sure.

Just, uh, make yourself at home.

Not bad, huh?

Oh, yeah. Hand me that cushion, son, would you?

Are you out of your mind?

You hired a housekeeper with absolutely no qualifications.

What? No qualifications?

Did you see those legs?

What?

Oh, let me help you with those.

I'm Carrie Clark, the new housekeeper.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Excuse me. Frank...

Ah, Frank. I just met the new maid.

Pack your bags, you're moving out.

Now, wait a minute, this is not my fault.

J.T. hired her without my approval.

Fine, you can stay. J.T., you're out.

Well, Carol, I am just shocked at your sexist attitude.

I mean, just because Carrie has the most sensuous body,

pouty lips,

and legs that just go on and on and on...

Where was I going with this?

-J.T.-- -Dad, just 48 hours.

That's all I'm asking okay?

Okay, okay, 48 hours.

But she had better do a good job.

[WHIRRING]

I think your garbage disposal's broken.

Well, it was fine this morning. What happened?

I kind of dropped your car keys in it.

Twenty-four hours.

Wow, Carrie, you are doing such a good job.

[CHUCKLING]

You mind if I, uh, take a picture

to see if my new camera works?

-Sure. -All right. Smile.

-Yup, it works. -I'll be right back.

I'm gonna go dump these in the washing machine.

Smile.

-Hey. -Hey.

Who's that?

That's the new maid.

Get out of town.

It's true. J.T. hired her based on her

extensive experience as a lingerie model.

[LAUGHS]

You gotta get out more.

Oh, man. Hires Jessica Rabbit to be the new maid.

[LAUGHS]

Lame.

Hey, Dana, do you mind if I vacuum?

-Well-- -Well, no, she doesn't.

Vacuum away.

[WHIRRING]

-Whoa, whoa. -Oh!

What happened?

Heh, well,

either J.T. shook out his gym socks

or somebody forgot to put in a vacuum bag.

Oh, J.T., you must hate me.

No, no, no, I love you.

I mean I love your willingness to admit a mistake.

It shows real growth as a housekeeper.

In fact, maybe I should capture this moment on film, huh?

What do you say? [LAUGHING] Smile.

I'll just go grab a new bag out of the garage.

You are such a pig.

You are like a disgusting old pervert,

running around, taking pictures of this sex kitten.

Hey, hey, hey, I will not

have you talking about Carrie like that, okay?

She happens to be a very special person. All right?

And I could be wrong, but, uh,

I think there is something happening here between us.

You think that you

I think if Carrie spends enough time around me,

love could bloom.

Yeah, well, love better bloom quick.

'Cause she's gonna get fired, and all you're gonna have left

are your pathetic little pictures.

Look, Carrie is not gonna get fired.

This house is gonna be spotless.

Even if I have to clean it myself.

You can't even clean your ears.

Well, that's because I've never had the proper

motivation before, now, have I?

Now, move your butt, I got a house to clean.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You did the best tryout.

You're definitely gonna get head cheerleader.

Oh, no way.

You have the best high kick.

[SHRIEKING]

Hi, Karen.

Have they announced the winner yet?

Mother, what are you doing here?

I am here to support my daughter.

Where are the other mothers?

They're not here.

They have lives.

And I want you to know it was very tough

because you all did a terrific job.

But our new head cheerleader is...

-Karen... -[SCREAMING] Yes!

COACH HARRIS: ...Covington.

[ALL CHEERING]

Come and look at the schedule with me, okay?

I'm so happy. You were all so great. We all should've won.

This is not fair. You should've been head cheerleader.

-Mom, it's not a big deal. -Yes, it is.

We worked way too hard for this.

We were robbed.

We?

Oh, I get it.

This isn't about me. It's about you.

No. No. It's just that I don't want you to suffer like I did.

I mean, something like this could haunt you for years.

You were haunted for years

Wow, and people think I'm shallow.

Well, okay, maybe, "haunted" is the wrong word, but...

[SIGHS] I deserved to be head cheerleader.

It really bugged me that they chose Becky Ann Frasier.

That tramp.

Mom, it's been 25 years. Let it go.

and you can still fit into your high school cheerleading uniform?

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

And that's after four babies.

-Carol. -Yes?

Yes, do I know you?

Yeah, we were cheerleaders together.

I'm Becky Ann Frasier.

Oh, hi!

Actually, it's Covington now.

I just came to pick up my daughter.

She just made head cheerleader, isn't that great?

Super.

Well, I gotta run. It's so great seeing you.

Great to see you too!

Tramp.

[WHIRRING]

Havin' a good time, son?

Dad. I was just, uh, you know, working out.

They say that, uh, vacuuming builds up the pecs, you know?

Son, it's time to say goodbye to Carrie the Wonder Maid.

-But, Dad... -No. It's over, pal.

Now, are you gonna tell her or you want me to?

J.T.: Carrie.

[CRASHING]

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Uh, I'm sorry about the dish.

Ha-ha, it's no problem. They're old anyways.

My great grandmother's.

I'm sorry.

Look, uh...

This is kind of hard for me to say, but, uh...

I'm not really working out, am I?

he's kind of a neat freak, you know.

Come on, J.T., let's be honest here.

Look, I stink at this job.

The only reason you even hired me

was because of the way I look.

Does that make me a pig?

No, it doesn't make you a pig.

All right, so the camera thing was getting a little weird, okay?

But basically, you're a normal guy.

You know, J.T., you hired me for all the wrong reasons.

But I really appreciate you giving me a shot.

Sure.

-Bye. -Bye.

It's so hard to find good help.

Cody? Oh.

Hey-hey, Agnes, Dottie. You girls are here early.

It's your fault, you got us in better shape.

Now, we're walking faster and feeling frisky.

[LAUGHS]

Is it a bull market in the boudoir these days?

Well, it would be except for one thing.

Our husbands can't keep up with us.

And that's why we need you.

[LAUGHS] Now, now, ladies.

that student teacher distance thing happenin', you know?

[LAUGHS]

Oh, dear, relax. We don't want your bod.

We just want you to whip our husbands into shape.

Come on. They're in the back.

[CHUCKLES]

Color me relieved.

CODY: All right, gentlemen, how you doin'?

Hey, hey, guys.

-Hi, Cody. -Hey.

Now, I know it's a sensitive subject. Ha-ha.

But the ladies have been telling me that

[LAUGHS]

Well, sounds like some endurance training to me.

You know, get your wind up.

So, how about some jumping jacks?

There we go. Come on. Let's get into it.

Let's get cookin' before those ladies start lookin', huh?

Throw your back into it. That's it.

One leg if you got it. That's the spirit.

All right, all right. Hey, here's an idea.

Let's try and leave the ground. Okay.