Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,641
Water !
2
00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:54,407
Stop,or I'll send you
to meet your boss in heaven !
3
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:58,706
Soldier,what do you want ?
Can't you see my holy habit ?
4
00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:02,850
Don't you get it ?
This is a robbery !
5
00:04:02,854 --> 00:04:06,587
Give me your bag or your life...
I'd prefer the bag.
6
00:04:06,819 --> 00:04:11,755
Ok...but stop waving
that huge sword around !
7
00:04:11,796 --> 00:04:16,716
I don't have much money.
I can give you the alms box...
8
00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:24,990
Is it Easter already ?!
9
00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:34,236
Sure,you're right...
I understand,my son.
10
00:04:34,392 --> 00:04:39,174
Six months of war,
homesick,desperate...
11
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:43,773
... but you shoul never have attacked
a minister of God.
12
00:04:43,776 --> 00:04:47,111
I was hungry.
I've been starving for four days !
13
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,945
All I found was water..
I was so hungry !
14
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:54,862
One night a soldier bit my nose
and ran off !
15
00:04:54,883 --> 00:04:59,053
- Did you recognize him ?
- Sure,I had his ear in my pocket !
16
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,918
That's no way to do things !
17
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:06,397
We must love the Lord
and all His creatures...
18
00:05:06,864 --> 00:05:09,743
All His creatures....
19
00:05:25,123 --> 00:05:27,841
I got it...
20
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:39,072
What's that,bean wine ?
21
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:42,946
- Your health,father !
- Yes,health matters most....
22
00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:46,328
- Where did you say you were going ?
- With the war over...
23
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,991
...I'm going back to my hometown.
"Watch-the-hole".
24
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,835
Where you left your wife...
tell me,is she beautiful ?
25
00:05:52,881 --> 00:05:57,941
- She's more than "beautiful"!
- Have women always fallen for you ?
26
00:05:58,195 --> 00:06:02,347
- They died for me !
- For your charm ?
27
00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,520
No, I had an infectious disease,
but I'm better now.
28
00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:08,565
So,you were a conqueror...
29
00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:11,964
- Do you know how they call me back home?
- "The asshole".
30
00:06:12,057 --> 00:06:13,979
How did you guess ?
31
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:16,780
You left your wife alone
to go to war !
32
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,432
Not really "alone",father...
33
00:06:19,526 --> 00:06:22,853
Do you know Deodato
the blacksmith of "Watch-the-hole"?
34
00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:26,784
Master Deodato ?
I've heard of him...
35
00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:30,708
- ...he's the smith who makes...
- ...chastity belts !
36
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:35,390
He made one for my wife,
wich starts here...
37
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:39,750
...and goes all round,
a net of iron !
38
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:42,745
And this is the key...
39
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:47,877
In war I could lose an arm,a leg,
my head...but this never !
40
00:06:47,897 --> 00:06:52,109
Without this,no one's
going to get into my wife !
41
00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:57,847
Experience has taught me
that fidelity is one thing...
42
00:06:57,859 --> 00:07:01,691
...and keys are another.
Take advices...
43
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,669
get home
as soon as you can...
44
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:09,528
Now let's rest... we'll get going
again when it's dark.
45
00:07:10,123 --> 00:07:15,253
Tomorrow morning you'll be
in your wife's arms and...
46
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:29,921
Sleep,father... we'll catch
something here for sure !
47
00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:36,158
This one won't have a club like yours !
Maybe that's what she's looking for !
48
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,881
Freeze and tramble !
49
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:58,274
Where are you hiding ?
I only see a timid bottom !
50
00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:01,563
I beg you,take everything,
but don't kill me !
51
00:08:01,576 --> 00:08:04,159
We'll see...
52
00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:08,807
Stand still... I can't take
these head-butts !
53
00:08:08,835 --> 00:08:11,863
My brain's
in a bad already !
54
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:15,032
What do you want ?
55
00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:18,433
I have nose for these things...
56
00:08:19,864 --> 00:08:23,609
You dummy! These coins
are no longer in circulation .
57
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:27,540
They were my grandpa's,
I'm no good with...
58
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:30,635
I am,my dear !
59
00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:33,923
Have mercy,sir !
60
00:08:33,993 --> 00:08:37,891
I've lost everything
in the war but my honor !
61
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:41,207
You mean you're still a virgin ?
62
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:46,059
- Yes,stil...
- Then it's time !
63
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,489
Your purse is worthless,
so if you want to save your life...
64
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:52,127
...what else can you give me ?
65
00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:58,014
Come here.I'll introduce you to
the saint of lovers !
66
00:08:58,106 --> 00:09:02,241
- Who's he ?
- Saint Shaggy !
67
00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,907
What do you want now ?
68
00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:09,035
Nothing,take me
and be done with it !
69
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,768
No one risist my beauty !
70
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:17,421
Ah...this armor
has to come off first...
71
00:09:18,355 --> 00:09:20,754
So,do you want me or not ?
72
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:25,402
I do,but i need a hand
with this scrap iron !
73
00:09:28,926 --> 00:09:32,537
- See how big I am ?
- Big nothing,it's the pitchforck !
74
00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:35,888
Damn,I keep screwing up !
75
00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:40,696
- Do you like it ?
- Yes,I love it !
76
00:09:40,758 --> 00:09:45,587
This is nothing,now you'll feel
my famous masterstroke !
77
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:48,649
Has the war started again ?!
78
00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:52,094
I started it,
you filthy pig !
79
00:09:52,161 --> 00:09:57,147
First you want to rob me,and now
you want to rape this poor girl !
80
00:09:58,325 --> 00:10:01,234
You've committed a sin against God !
81
00:10:01,294 --> 00:10:06,650
But I didn't even finish !
82
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:11,366
You're taking the wrong road !
If you don't get your stuff...
83
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:16,341
...and flee far from temptation,
I'll breack your head !
84
00:10:16,405 --> 00:10:20,570
Damn,you look like the devil !
Take this !
85
00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:23,723
Are you giving me the horns ?
86
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,934
Did you think
you'd stay faithful for life ?
87
00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:32,050
Damn,I keep screwing up !
88
00:10:32,286 --> 00:10:36,435
My child,what did
that sinner want ?
89
00:10:36,522 --> 00:10:40,984
I don't know,he jumped on me
and began touching me...
90
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:44,201
That brute... touched you here ?
91
00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:49,449
- Yes,and behind...
- That pig ! And you ?
92
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:53,164
I was scared, so I let him !
93
00:10:54,846 --> 00:10:58,253
- Did he touch these too ?
- No...
94
00:10:58,281 --> 00:11:01,609
- No ?
- He kissed them...
95
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:09,147
He was dragging you to hell !
I'll take care of you,my child...
96
00:11:09,826 --> 00:11:12,936
- What must I do ?
- I'll purrify you...!
97
00:11:12,988 --> 00:11:16,460
I'll cancel your sisns
with my holy body !
98
00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:20,113
Yes,father... I'm so happy !
99
00:11:20,319 --> 00:11:23,457
- Purify me !
- I'll purify you...!
100
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:31,316
One,two,three,four,
even five times !
101
00:11:31,452 --> 00:11:34,547
I want to become a dove !
102
00:11:34,972 --> 00:11:37,856
Instead of acting the fool,
why not go to war ?
103
00:11:37,902 --> 00:11:41,095
What ? I just got back !
104
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:56,329
I can't belive it ,
finally I'm home !
105
00:11:57,144 --> 00:12:01,617
Giovanni,it's me... Olimpio !
I'm back from the war !
106
00:12:01,825 --> 00:12:05,955
- Who gives a fuck !
- Right, a touch of human warmth...
107
00:12:17,532 --> 00:12:22,484
Argo ! Let's see if
you recognize me !
108
00:12:24,419 --> 00:12:27,794
Wow what a memory !
He recognized me !
109
00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:33,168
Pour my water...
110
00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:44,502
Beautiful...you're so beautiful !
111
00:12:44,671 --> 00:12:48,754
- Do you mean it ?
- Yes,but no one enjoys your beauty .
112
00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:52,988
You fool of husband
went off to war !
113
00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:55,762
Midwife !
114
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,749
What's that noise ?
Go and look...
115
00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:13,262
Lady Fiamma
a soldier's coming !
116
00:13:13,277 --> 00:13:15,649
I can't see his face ,but...
117
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:19,450
- Is it my husband comiing back?
- Yes, it's him !
118
00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:23,465
It seems the war gave him
a holly thrashing !
119
00:13:23,579 --> 00:13:28,434
- Quick, I'll get ready to receive him !
- What a sainted lady you are !
120
00:13:28,435 --> 00:13:32,268
Rather than receive him.
I'd slam the door in his face !
121
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,802
Midwife...
122
00:13:36,835 --> 00:13:39,538
Fiamma !
123
00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:42,633
Did you narrow the door's ?
124
00:13:42,723 --> 00:13:45,184
My lord !
125
00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:48,452
My god, what a mess !
126
00:13:48,486 --> 00:13:51,288
Have you had another bath ?
127
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:53,697
Did you take one
when I left six months ago ?
128
00:13:53,728 --> 00:13:56,642
I wanted to be beautiful
for your return...
129
00:13:56,691 --> 00:13:59,602
Who told you I was coming back ?
That old witch ?
130
00:13:59,687 --> 00:14:02,128
- Damn you !
- Does she still bite ?
131
00:14:02,149 --> 00:14:05,861
Of course not,my love...
Given the state you're in...
132
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:09,717
...you should take a bath too.
133
00:14:09,869 --> 00:14:12,894
If the water doesn't mind !
134
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:15,904
- My lady , I'm off...
- Me too !
135
00:14:15,948 --> 00:14:21,645
- I'll leave the show to you...
- Get back in your cage !
136
00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:26,118
To think how much I prayed
that she'd die !
137
00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:32,462
Your armor isn't easy to open...
138
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:36,498
It's been falling apart for
six months...and now it won't open !
139
00:14:36,515 --> 00:14:40,839
Relax...
wait , I'll help you.
140
00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:48,805
- Wait, I've got just the thing...
- Go get it !
141
00:14:53,262 --> 00:14:57,924
The sladge hammer ?
Are you going to beat me to death ?
142
00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:01,623
How you become an "armor wrecker"?
143
00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:05,427
Do I look like a nail to you ?!
144
00:15:05,711 --> 00:15:10,285
Careful !
It's sheet iron !
145
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,547
It gets red hot under the sun !
146
00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:17,004
Once it got so hot...
147
00:15:17,053 --> 00:15:20,920
...that everyone cleared off
rather than burn !
148
00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:26,151
Our captain fried two eggs on me !
149
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:30,387
- Come here !
- That's done...
150
00:15:30,482 --> 00:15:32,930
..now I'll get you a towel...
151
00:15:32,961 --> 00:15:36,340
The water's all yours...
152
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:42,352
Do I have to drink it all ?!
153
00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:47,749
- Darling !
- My love, I'm burning with desire !
154
00:15:47,805 --> 00:15:51,742
- You must flee,my husband's back...
- Can't we see each other again ?
155
00:15:51,774 --> 00:15:55,555
I'll let you know ,now go...
156
00:15:55,564 --> 00:15:58,785
- Ah, the key !
- Where's yours ?
157
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:05,008
- Right... so whose is this ?
- Don't worry, go.
158
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:16,549
Fiamma, at last !
159
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:19,859
At last nothing !
My husband's back from the war !
160
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:24,155
- Didn't they kill him ?
- Hurry Falco, save yourself !
161
00:16:24,637 --> 00:16:27,676
I'll see you in a few days...
162
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:30,179
- Bye..
- Bye !
163
00:16:38,224 --> 00:16:41,226
Hi there...
164
00:16:45,224 --> 00:16:48,391
Serafino... it's me, Fiamma !
165
00:16:48,438 --> 00:16:51,115
I was counting the minutes !
166
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:53,339
- Calm down !
- What's happend ?
167
00:16:53,404 --> 00:16:55,932
The saddest thing in the world...
my husband's back !
168
00:16:55,993 --> 00:16:58,799
I knew it !
I'll wait for you here...
169
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,664
What next ?!
170
00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:15,879
- Done already ?
- Washed, wrung and dried .
171
00:17:15,963 --> 00:17:19,610
- And your massage ?
- Right now, my darling !
172
00:17:19,613 --> 00:17:23,646
You're so firey !
Your appetite scares me...
173
00:17:23,652 --> 00:17:29,207
Appetite ? This is hunger!
Six months of abstinence...
174
00:17:29,276 --> 00:17:32,998
- I didn't even get a goat !
- I was the same for me.
175
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:36,320
Your return is a dream, my love !
176
00:17:36,362 --> 00:17:39,577
Your dream will come true !
177
00:17:39,942 --> 00:17:44,294
- Ow! Is that iron down there ?
- Forgive me, darling...
178
00:17:44,423 --> 00:17:50,022
- ... you hit the chastity belt.
- Oh , of course !
179
00:17:50,097 --> 00:17:53,742
Get the key , and you'll be fine...
180
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:58,197
- I want to be free of this prison...
- I'll get it immediately !
181
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,572
Missed you that time...
182
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:07,456
Here it is !
183
00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:11,996
Where's it gone ?!
The key...
184
00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:17,049
Where's the key ?
Where are yoy key ?
185
00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:20,221
The key's gone !
186
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:23,842
We could use the sledgehammer !
187
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:28,258
No, my love,what are you doing ?!
188
00:18:28,266 --> 00:18:31,416
What am I doing ?
I'm going to crack your iron panties!
189
00:18:31,449 --> 00:18:35,538
Yes, but the tresure inside
might suffer !
190
00:18:35,595 --> 00:18:38,809
And, actually...
191
00:18:38,902 --> 00:18:43,034
... I have something important
to tell you, come...
192
00:18:44,352 --> 00:18:46,789
Let's hear it...
193
00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:50,232
You have the time to talk with
master Deodato, the blacksmith...
194
00:18:50,321 --> 00:18:54,602
When you left the war,
I made a vow to Saint Fertility...
195
00:18:54,622 --> 00:18:57,968
If you returned safe and sound...
196
00:18:57,986 --> 00:19:02,262
...we wouldn't make love
an this bed two weeks.
197
00:19:02,323 --> 00:19:05,804
- Then let's use another bed !
- Yes, Olimpio...
198
00:19:05,881 --> 00:19:11,350
But what are two weeks,
compared with a lifetime ?
199
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:17,884
Saint Fertility, huh? Must be one
that can't mind his own business !
200
00:19:17,969 --> 00:19:20,140
And, what's more...
201
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:24,741
... if in two weeks we have a son,
he'll be born with red hair...
202
00:19:24,809 --> 00:19:29,078
- Why ?
- Because I'm getting rusty!
203
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:34,049
In two weeks your love
will be at the peack of strength...
204
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:38,074
... for your stisfaction
and mine...
205
00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:40,555
Yes...
206
00:19:42,675 --> 00:19:46,870
Can't we just have a quickie ?
207
00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:55,842
Sometimes when I'm tired
I get sleepy , how come ?
208
00:19:57,424 --> 00:20:00,940
It must be a physical defect !
209
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,120
Fertility !
210
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:35,648
Fertility... come here,
I've something to tell you !
211
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,937
Are you there ?
212
00:20:39,178 --> 00:20:41,904
Fuck off then !
213
00:20:56,819 --> 00:21:00,131
What way of eating is that ?
214
00:21:00,228 --> 00:21:03,473
Ok...I'll change !
215
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:09,575
- Do you like it ?
- What is it ?
216
00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:12,590
Toad soup...
217
00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:18,374
You might have killed first !
218
00:21:20,115 --> 00:21:23,008
I'll stuff a lemon in her mouth
and put her in oven !
219
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:26,975
- Please, she saw me born...
- And now she wants to see me die ?
220
00:21:27,022 --> 00:21:30,608
Let's change the subject honey...
Now the war is over...
221
00:21:30,635 --> 00:21:33,397
... you must make peace
with our neighbor.
222
00:21:33,472 --> 00:21:36,655
You mean the miller, Oderisi ?
He's too bitter...
223
00:21:36,724 --> 00:21:40,898
Try yo understand, the stream
that run throught our properties...
224
00:21:40,928 --> 00:21:45,299
...servs both of us, he for his mill,
and us for our fields...
225
00:21:45,386 --> 00:21:49,455
It's time the dispute
was resolved peacefully...
226
00:21:49,492 --> 00:21:51,712
He's too bitter...
227
00:21:51,749 --> 00:21:54,891
It was so hard for me
when you went off war...
228
00:21:54,931 --> 00:21:59,058
Take the notary's counsel,
he's a valiant man of law...
229
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:02,796
- ... let him do it !
- As for doing it...
230
00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:06,581
Something needs doing here !
I'm going crazy...
231
00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:10,194
No, I beg you, don't tempt me...
I vowed to Saint Fertility...
232
00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:14,226
I dreamt of him last night...
he said, "Your wifels vow...
233
00:22:14,235 --> 00:22:18,017
... got lost. I'm busy
and can't find it..."
234
00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:20,705
So,it's no longer valid!
235
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:25,963
Please, resolve
things with Oderisi.
236
00:22:25,994 --> 00:22:28,039
He's too bitter .
237
00:22:28,118 --> 00:22:31,777
But no... after being widowed,
he married Lady Ubalda...
238
00:22:31,845 --> 00:22:37,665
She's a sainted woman who, I'm sure,
has been able to change him...
239
00:22:45,129 --> 00:22:48,592
She called her father !
240
00:22:52,869 --> 00:22:56,013
I learned lots
of langueges in war !
241
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,824
Ubalda !
242
00:23:47,911 --> 00:23:50,515
- Your husband !
- Right, at such a beautiful moment...
243
00:23:50,552 --> 00:23:52,943
...who else could it be ?
244
00:23:53,038 --> 00:23:57,212
- Hubbie, what do you want ?
- Open,the doctor's here !
245
00:23:57,253 --> 00:24:00,636
One moment, I'm here
with my hairdresser..
246
00:24:00,692 --> 00:24:03,675
I'm almost naked,
let me dress .
247
00:24:03,724 --> 00:24:06,204
I know how jealous you are !
248
00:24:06,269 --> 00:24:09,548
Who cares if you're naked.
I'm your husband !
249
00:24:09,551 --> 00:24:12,424
The doctor doesn't
notice this things !
250
00:24:12,509 --> 00:24:15,657
You're right, but
I don't want him to see me naked...
251
00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:20,199
You know how shy I am !
252
00:24:20,246 --> 00:24:25,189
True, but this doctor
could be your grandfather.
253
00:24:25,235 --> 00:24:27,377
Come on,open...
254
00:24:27,442 --> 00:24:32,561
Right, now you'll see that I'm
almost naked and get jealous...
255
00:24:33,227 --> 00:24:36,382
No wise man could be
jealous of this doctor.
256
00:24:36,466 --> 00:24:39,174
Please, come in...
257
00:24:39,276 --> 00:24:42,404
- Here is my sweet consort.
- Your servant,my lady.
258
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,371
Your welcome, master...
259
00:24:45,413 --> 00:24:48,179
I've never seen this
hairdresser... is she new ?
260
00:24:48,198 --> 00:24:52,775
Yes... she was recommended to me,
she's very shy,but also very good...
261
00:24:52,776 --> 00:24:56,909
- ...unrivalled in her profession.
- Too kind, my lady .
262
00:24:56,998 --> 00:25:00,737
Well done, but now go,
the master must concentrate .
263
00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:04,076
- I'll be back later...
- So, what's wrong with the lady ?
264
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:07,544
- She never wants to make love!
- Please, I'll explain...
265
00:25:07,604 --> 00:25:13,222
- Master,it's a delicate issue...
- Feel free to tell me .
266
00:25:13,251 --> 00:25:18,055
Master, my husband
is unable to fornicate with me .
267
00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:23,636
Unable? Let me see those balls.
They dont look sick, a little puffy.
268
00:25:23,697 --> 00:25:26,180
I want to, I try !
269
00:25:26,236 --> 00:25:31,133
Traing isn't enough !
Every time we're in bed...
270
00:25:31,153 --> 00:25:37,155
I start to swon . I feel
a great fire than I faint.
271
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,718
- Do you think it's serious ?
- I'd say so...
272
00:25:39,733 --> 00:25:43,609
..a female like her is made for love.
Strip so I can take a look...
273
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:46,065
- Naked ?
- Yes, naked.
274
00:25:46,366 --> 00:25:51,017
- Does she really have to be naked?
- Of course !
275
00:25:53,101 --> 00:25:58,826
Now, breath deeply while
I put my ear your breast .
276
00:25:58,909 --> 00:26:02,916
- Oh, how wonderful !
- Stop ! I'll do the ear bit .
277
00:26:02,987 --> 00:26:06,104
I'll lean, listen and report .
278
00:26:09,365 --> 00:26:12,160
Is that your breathing ?
279
00:26:12,182 --> 00:26:16,308
No, him . He always does that,
but besides sighing that's it .
280
00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:21,970
This is no good . Jelous husbands
are yhe ruin of medical science !
281
00:26:22,026 --> 00:26:25,266
- Of cuckolds, if anything !
- A shame on you !
282
00:26:25,343 --> 00:26:30,592
Are you more worried about
your wife's health or your own ego ?
283
00:26:31,985 --> 00:26:36,515
What do you say, Lady Ubalda?
Will you do as the doctor says?
284
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,350
Yes, dear husband, let's humor him .
285
00:26:41,423 --> 00:26:44,955
Come, Cerusico, ear to boob !
286
00:26:45,185 --> 00:26:48,733
I'll put my hand here,
to get confortable .
287
00:26:48,844 --> 00:26:53,264
What a strong heart
this woman has.
288
00:26:53,375 --> 00:26:56,045
- Get other here !
- Are you joking ?
289
00:26:56,056 --> 00:26:59,244
No, doctors don't joke,
not even at Carnaval !
290
00:26:59,322 --> 00:27:03,384
I order you to leave becouse
your presence is a hindrance.
291
00:27:03,641 --> 00:27:09,389
- She does't want to be alone with you !
- Let's ask her . You decide .
292
00:27:09,411 --> 00:27:11,793
...him or me !
293
00:27:11,804 --> 00:27:16,388
Dear husband, try to understand,
leave alone with the master,
294
00:27:16,784 --> 00:27:21,580
I've overcome my shyness,
and I know I can trust him .
295
00:27:21,592 --> 00:27:26,192
Allright, I'll be outside the door.
But hurry, I'll give you 10 minutes.
296
00:27:26,232 --> 00:27:29,255
10 minutes is enought for me !
297
00:27:36,832 --> 00:27:41,361
- What are you doing ?
- Underssing, he gave us only 10 minutes.
298
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:44,591
But grandpa, one month
won't be enough for you.
299
00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:47,365
Your wife is right, Master Olimpio...
300
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:50,562
... disputes are costly,
and justice takes time .
301
00:27:50,634 --> 00:27:53,923
You should reach an agreement .
A feew well-pleced words .
302
00:27:54,028 --> 00:27:58,412
All this used to be my father's...
he sure was a happy man !
303
00:27:58,478 --> 00:28:01,233
- To think, he hung himself .
- Out of sorry ?
304
00:28:01,397 --> 00:28:05,539
No, by the neck !
That's it should hang Odersi !
305
00:28:05,626 --> 00:28:11,092
Olimpio, be prudent. It seems to me
your blood is boling !
306
00:28:11,270 --> 00:28:15,558
Can you tell? My wife has left
my whistle dry for a week .
307
00:28:15,602 --> 00:28:19,216
My son, as if this
was your only problem !
308
00:28:19,312 --> 00:28:22,293
If you need a good time,
couple with your servant...
309
00:28:23,143 --> 00:28:28,231
- The one in my house ?
- Does that trouble your consecience ?
310
00:28:28,962 --> 00:28:32,512
No... it turns my stomach !
311
00:28:32,618 --> 00:28:38,105
Then try having a good time
with the boys...
312
00:28:38,687 --> 00:28:41,235
Notary !
313
00:28:41,344 --> 00:28:44,493
Well... you might be surprised !
314
00:28:44,509 --> 00:28:48,875
I have a wonderful time
with my boys...
315
00:28:49,847 --> 00:28:52,580
You mean you...
316
00:28:54,380 --> 00:28:56,862
Who'd have thought !
317
00:28:56,919 --> 00:29:01,037
Why do you keep stopping ?
You have a bad vice.
318
00:29:03,163 --> 00:29:06,452
Look who's talking !
319
00:29:14,576 --> 00:29:17,316
Welcome !
320
00:29:21,118 --> 00:29:23,524
Is the master Oderisi's wife ?
321
00:29:23,551 --> 00:29:27,323
Yes, he landed a beauty !
You're not envious, are you ?
322
00:29:27,402 --> 00:29:31,013
Not in the least...
323
00:29:32,757 --> 00:29:37,917
Relax, Olimpio...
Has she really smitten you ?
324
00:29:38,881 --> 00:29:43,814
I can already see her with
nothing on... except me, of course !
325
00:29:45,233 --> 00:29:50,648
My Lady, it's not I who speak,
but my soul...
326
00:29:52,087 --> 00:29:54,964
By wthat name is this beauty called ?
327
00:29:55,016 --> 00:29:59,101
- My name is Ubalda .
- And the ather one ?
328
00:29:59,181 --> 00:30:03,148
My name is Lady Ubalda .
What can I do for you ?
329
00:30:05,392 --> 00:30:08,272
Who knows, I like the lot !
330
00:30:08,351 --> 00:30:11,622
We're here to discuss
boundaries, my lady...
331
00:30:11,627 --> 00:30:14,790
- Where is your husband ?
- Here, notary .
332
00:30:14,824 --> 00:30:17,586
Ah, you're here too...
333
00:30:17,706 --> 00:30:21,663
Have you come to waste my time ?
Damned soldier !
334
00:30:21,745 --> 00:30:24,435
You're back without booty !
335
00:30:24,878 --> 00:30:29,100
Pusillanimous, tongue-wagging,
armless incompetent !
336
00:30:29,184 --> 00:30:31,402
Too bitter !
337
00:30:31,415 --> 00:30:33,801
Good day, master Oderisi !
338
00:30:33,925 --> 00:30:38,843
It's not a good day,
with this filth in my house ...
339
00:30:39,968 --> 00:30:45,121
The parties being present before me,
notary Adone Bellezza...
340
00:30:46,671 --> 00:30:49,643
My lady, leave us .
341
00:30:53,424 --> 00:30:57,385
Let's try to resolve this dispute
with civility and respect...
342
00:30:57,523 --> 00:31:01,913
- I won't talk with that man.
- Very well, I'll talk...
343
00:31:03,556 --> 00:31:05,599
Therefore...
344
00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:09,155
The border between the lands
of Master Olimpio...
345
00:31:09,194 --> 00:31:12,694
and those of
Master Oderisi, the miller...
346
00:31:12,741 --> 00:31:17,734
...is in dispute over the stream
named "Aqua Viva"....
347
00:31:17,819 --> 00:31:21,325
...which both parties mantain
is their property.
348
00:31:21,344 --> 00:31:24,378
Ask him what he's
looking at over there...
349
00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:29,019
Master Oderisi asks what
you are looking at over there...
350
00:31:29,031 --> 00:31:32,445
- Buttoks...
- Huh ?
351
00:31:32,986 --> 00:31:36,837
The above-mentioned stream
which runs along the border...
352
00:31:37,279 --> 00:31:41,838
- ...between the lands of...
- Excuse me a moment...
353
00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:48,942
Did I catch a connection ?
354
00:31:57,097 --> 00:31:59,303
Enough, ok !
355
00:31:59,465 --> 00:32:02,455
Give it a break !
356
00:32:06,209 --> 00:32:10,585
What's that, the "soldier's slap"?!
357
00:32:13,346 --> 00:32:16,656
Why do you keep hitting the same spot ?
358
00:32:21,934 --> 00:32:25,199
Master Oderisi,
are you feeling ok ?
359
00:32:25,228 --> 00:32:28,214
You look a little pale !
360
00:32:29,791 --> 00:32:32,688
I'll give you the change later !
361
00:32:32,989 --> 00:32:36,287
"...free of malice and cowardice...
362
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,880
...all this in honor
of common sense...
363
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,073
...rendering noble and content
men of goodwill,"
364
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:11,839
Where are you going ?
Come here .
365
00:36:13,010 --> 00:36:15,867
Closer...
366
00:36:16,828 --> 00:36:19,935
Let me feel...
367
00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:22,919
Let me...aaaah !
368
00:36:22,993 --> 00:36:25,237
What happened ?!
Is a trap ?
369
00:36:26,859 --> 00:36:29,239
A mousetrap?!
370
00:36:29,276 --> 00:36:33,194
To keep you away
from temptation, my husband...
371
00:36:33,226 --> 00:36:37,093
You could at least
add a little cheese !
372
00:36:38,205 --> 00:36:41,241
Again ?
Has that friar come back ?
373
00:37:45,215 --> 00:37:49,012
Enought! At this I'll have
the washing hung by sunset!
374
00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:50,848
But I'm helping you.
375
00:37:50,879 --> 00:37:53,562
Nu, you're making things harder.
You're jealous !
376
00:37:53,636 --> 00:37:56,342
It's your fault... hanging
clothes in front of the workers!
377
00:37:56,439 --> 00:38:00,920
It's the sun's fault!
Do you want it to dry at night?
378
00:38:01,375 --> 00:38:07,094
Damn them, hugging those sacks
thinking of your things!
379
00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:10,852
Husband, what irreverent language !
380
00:38:10,925 --> 00:38:15,445
If you're that jealous,
order them to stop working...
381
00:38:15,522 --> 00:38:17,614
until I've gone inside .
382
00:38:17,654 --> 00:38:20,402
I would, but this work is urgent.
383
00:38:20,445 --> 00:38:25,679
Instead I order you to go inside
and not come out till they're done!
384
00:38:25,755 --> 00:38:28,251
Go on, hurry !
385
00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:31,522
And you, get working!
Work, you bums!
386
00:38:31,602 --> 00:38:35,772
And stop hugging those sacks!
387
00:38:43,850 --> 00:38:46,752
Hey, come and look!
388
00:38:47,486 --> 00:38:50,036
Who is it ?
389
00:38:50,276 --> 00:38:53,118
Look at him !
390
00:38:53,192 --> 00:38:57,063
Next time you go out,
wear appropriate clothes.
391
00:38:57,533 --> 00:39:01,412
- Armor, for example?
- Not a bad idea .
392
00:39:03,126 --> 00:39:08,515
Stop being so jelous...
Your wife loves and respects you.
393
00:39:08,519 --> 00:39:12,639
I'll prove you it with the clothes
I wear to go out.
394
00:39:12,672 --> 00:39:17,345
- Why, where are you going?
- To town, it's market day.
395
00:39:17,350 --> 00:39:19,888
Nu, not the market!
396
00:39:19,923 --> 00:39:22,154
That loafer Olimpio
is always out...
397
00:39:22,180 --> 00:39:25,799
... now that his wife won't entertain him
in bed, everyone's talking about it!
398
00:39:25,865 --> 00:39:29,080
Now you're ridiculous!
I can't bear being stuck inside!
399
00:39:29,150 --> 00:39:32,967
Tou should thank me,
your virtue is safe here!
400
00:39:32,983 --> 00:39:35,450
What are you doing?
Aren't you tired of looking?
401
00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:37,489
No, boss...
402
00:39:37,502 --> 00:39:41,370
That is, yes... a certain Cantarano
da Nola is here to see you...
403
00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:44,498
- Who's he ?
- A great master painter...
404
00:39:49,349 --> 00:39:51,914
All eys on me !
405
00:39:52,645 --> 00:39:55,348
I'll scratch anyone who moves...
406
00:39:57,681 --> 00:40:02,563
Miraculous angel,
perfection of perfection...
407
00:40:02,586 --> 00:40:07,284
- Fabulous !
- Wizard, have you done ?
408
00:40:08,036 --> 00:40:11,627
I need to know
what Venus is this ?
409
00:40:11,834 --> 00:40:15,719
What Juno,
what Minerva ?
410
00:40:15,779 --> 00:40:19,019
What son of a bich
sewed this outfit ?!
411
00:40:19,061 --> 00:40:22,120
While I need to know
who sent you here...
412
00:40:22,421 --> 00:40:25,823
It is fate who sends me...
413
00:40:25,883 --> 00:40:28,225
I have circled the globe...
414
00:40:28,252 --> 00:40:32,415
...known kings and qeens
so rich they are bored...
415
00:40:32,490 --> 00:40:36,173
...like that German prince
Von Fuck !
416
00:40:36,291 --> 00:40:41,578
What rights do you have
over this celestial creature ?
417
00:40:41,623 --> 00:40:45,539
What rights ?
She's my wife !
418
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:51,522
What a fool not to realize
you are the husband !
419
00:40:51,617 --> 00:40:56,452
The forehead of a poet, eyes
of a thinker of an emperor...
420
00:40:56,487 --> 00:41:02,873
... chest of a warrior,
a knight's hands, strong and kind...
421
00:41:03,416 --> 00:41:07,749
Becouse I love nature,
I love to live outdoors...
422
00:41:07,792 --> 00:41:11,166
- ...drink toasts, play cards...
- Whist ?
423
00:41:11,257 --> 00:41:13,907
Uh... no, pederast .
424
00:41:14,575 --> 00:41:21,077
I'm here by order of your lord.
... Duke Guazzone da Vellentri.
425
00:41:21,419 --> 00:41:27,258
He said, "Go, paint
Lady Ubalda, whose beauty...
426
00:41:28,094 --> 00:41:31,252
... is fabulous!"
427
00:41:32,129 --> 00:41:36,454
But the duke didn't tell me about you,
so cute and good-looking...
428
00:41:36,814 --> 00:41:40,480
Si, sir, it is with you
that I shall retire...
429
00:41:40,555 --> 00:41:43,835
... to paint you naked !
430
00:41:43,946 --> 00:41:46,271
Have you gone crazy ?
431
00:41:46,305 --> 00:41:51,446
- Do you dare disobey the duke ?
- No, but he told you to paint Ubalda!
432
00:41:51,501 --> 00:41:53,263
True...
433
00:41:53,307 --> 00:41:55,808
- Do you dare disobey the duke?
- Never...
434
00:41:55,812 --> 00:41:58,631
- Then have yourself painted...
- No.
435
00:41:59,013 --> 00:42:01,627
- No ?
- No ?
436
00:42:02,092 --> 00:42:06,793
No. No man other than my husband
may see me naked!
437
00:42:06,865 --> 00:42:09,667
Man ?
438
00:42:10,740 --> 00:42:13,629
As you wish, husband...
439
00:42:13,914 --> 00:42:16,410
- The key...
- The key ?
440
00:42:16,482 --> 00:42:20,300
- If I have to be naked...
- She's not naked with the chastity belt!
441
00:42:20,806 --> 00:42:24,347
Ok... here you are.
442
00:42:24,701 --> 00:42:27,139
Bye, sweetie...
443
00:42:44,516 --> 00:42:50,204
Hey, come and look! The painter's
taking her up to strip naked!
444
00:42:50,989 --> 00:42:53,293
Come in...
445
00:42:59,946 --> 00:43:02,441
Will you be comfortable here ?
446
00:43:02,533 --> 00:43:04,743
On the floor ?
447
00:43:05,233 --> 00:43:07,820
Very comfortable!
448
00:43:07,884 --> 00:43:10,732
- Whenever you wish, master...
- Not yet.
449
00:43:11,006 --> 00:43:14,039
I can feel paralysis setting in!
450
00:43:14,073 --> 00:43:16,426
Oh, mother...
451
00:43:17,076 --> 00:43:19,851
Guard her well...
452
00:43:20,325 --> 00:43:23,423
I'll get my things...
453
00:43:25,189 --> 00:43:29,622
My lady, what are you waiting for ?
Don't upset the painter...
454
00:44:06,168 --> 00:44:09,559
- What are you doing, master?
- I've locked it.
455
00:44:09,567 --> 00:44:13,102
Why?
I'm on guard out here!
456
00:44:13,364 --> 00:44:16,198
- No one must enter, not even you.
- Why ?
457
00:44:16,224 --> 00:44:19,819
So you don't break my... inspiration.
458
00:44:24,442 --> 00:44:27,649
- Who's that ?
- Who? It's me!
459
00:44:52,670 --> 00:44:57,164
Let me through,
I got the ladder and I'll climb it!
460
00:45:31,297 --> 00:45:35,435
You care me,
why are you looking at me like that?
461
00:45:37,359 --> 00:45:41,660
A painter has eyes
like of a doctor...
462
00:45:43,104 --> 00:45:46,039
...crazed...
463
00:45:51,253 --> 00:45:54,202
Let me up, let me up!
464
00:45:58,098 --> 00:46:00,809
Let me up!
465
00:46:04,539 --> 00:46:06,986
Go on, let me up!
466
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,242
Come on, out of the way!
467
00:46:12,295 --> 00:46:14,322
Let me look to!
468
00:46:14,344 --> 00:46:16,389
It's my turn!
469
00:46:17,296 --> 00:46:20,713
Master, why can't I hear
your voice any more?
470
00:46:20,784 --> 00:46:23,738
Odd, I talk constantiy!
471
00:46:23,799 --> 00:46:27,163
Sorry, but I hear nothing...
maybe I'm going deaf.
472
00:46:49,867 --> 00:46:54,179
Master... is inspiration
coming or not coming?
473
00:46:54,794 --> 00:46:57,283
Nearly...
474
00:47:00,207 --> 00:47:03,162
Hold still, don't push!
475
00:47:09,634 --> 00:47:13,990
- What are you waiting for?
- Give me time, I'm confused...
476
00:47:14,209 --> 00:47:16,860
... with all this acting gay...
477
00:47:28,712 --> 00:47:31,476
- I'm a real macho, uh?
- The key...
478
00:47:31,506 --> 00:47:34,118
Right... the key!
479
00:47:38,470 --> 00:47:41,441
Ok,I'm opening it!
480
00:47:41,683 --> 00:47:45,506
I told you to go away!
481
00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:51,601
Courage, master...
482
00:47:52,484 --> 00:47:56,666
I'm scared I'll break it!
I mean, 'tear the canvas'...
483
00:47:57,422 --> 00:48:00,650
The painting canvas, of course!
484
00:48:04,534 --> 00:48:07,439
- Careful!
- Careful, we'll fall!
485
00:48:10,031 --> 00:48:12,740
What happend?
486
00:48:14,065 --> 00:48:16,742
But... what happened?
487
00:48:20,975 --> 00:48:25,073
You dirty peeping toms!
488
00:48:25,768 --> 00:48:28,476
Take this!
489
00:48:28,533 --> 00:48:32,553
- What's going on?
- They were spying on my wife naked!
490
00:48:32,580 --> 00:48:36,820
Oh... beat them, without mercy!
491
00:48:37,163 --> 00:48:39,581
I will, and some!
492
00:48:42,019 --> 00:48:45,896
Olimpio De' Pannocchieschi?!
I'm gonna kill you!
493
00:48:46,185 --> 00:48:49,432
I'll disembowel you,
tear your heart out!
494
00:48:49,504 --> 00:48:54,896
I'll feed you to de pigs!
You filthy brute!
495
00:48:56,388 --> 00:48:58,645
He's coming!
496
00:48:59,977 --> 00:49:03,364
He's very angry... lord knows why!
497
00:49:04,214 --> 00:49:07,604
Open, you dirty worm!
498
00:49:07,638 --> 00:49:12,666
Open or I'll kill you!
You too, lady, open up!
499
00:49:13,688 --> 00:49:15,751
Help!
500
00:49:15,767 --> 00:49:20,543
Help me, husband!
The painter has pulled out his "brush"!
501
00:49:20,594 --> 00:49:23,657
He's trying to rape me!
502
00:49:23,735 --> 00:49:28,269
Don't open!
He'll break both our butts!
503
00:49:30,386 --> 00:49:33,421
How did you guys get down?
504
00:49:42,408 --> 00:49:47,221
- I'm out of here!
- Go, go... my dog will catch you!
505
00:50:10,043 --> 00:50:12,397
Sorry...
506
00:50:47,009 --> 00:50:50,633
Quick, take me to him!
507
00:51:11,656 --> 00:51:15,047
An ambush, another thief!
508
00:51:16,402 --> 00:51:19,192
Hush!
509
00:51:28,178 --> 00:51:33,101
Do you always take the same road?
Don't you ever pass for "fuck off"?
510
00:51:36,571 --> 00:51:39,584
Where have you taken me?
511
00:51:45,781 --> 00:51:49,086
Here I am, father!
Did you call me?
512
00:51:50,274 --> 00:51:53,244
Are you a fag too?
513
00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:57,437
Sorry. Your boss
hasn't gone, has he?
514
00:51:57,476 --> 00:52:00,662
He was giving me advice,
but I fell asleep...
515
00:52:00,693 --> 00:52:03,478
...after all those knocks!
516
00:52:03,515 --> 00:52:08,561
There he is! Look at that feast...
grapes, chicken, bread...
517
00:52:08,585 --> 00:52:11,736
When he's not hitting, he's eating!
518
00:52:15,879 --> 00:52:19,040
May I, father?
What's the food like?
519
00:52:19,090 --> 00:52:22,108
- Like your own home...
- Then I'm leaving!
520
00:52:22,147 --> 00:52:26,547
What a fuss! You must accept
all that heaven sends...
521
00:52:26,561 --> 00:52:30,422
... as I accept
this morsel of penitence.
522
00:52:31,517 --> 00:52:34,651
By the way,
are you at peace with God?
523
00:52:34,700 --> 00:52:37,815
Yes, we say hi,
but we don't really talk...
524
00:52:43,898 --> 00:52:46,479
- Do you serve chickens?
- We serve anyone...
525
00:52:46,569 --> 00:52:49,205
She recognized me on sihgt!
526
00:52:50,746 --> 00:52:55,887
- What's your name, my child?
- My name is Candy, but call me Handy...
527
00:52:56,425 --> 00:53:00,559
- Where's your father?
- I'm orphan.
528
00:53:00,754 --> 00:53:03,752
- Brothers?
- None...
529
00:53:04,267 --> 00:53:09,071
- Don't tell me you don't have a fiance!
- I don't...
530
00:53:09,081 --> 00:53:13,460
- I live sad and alone...
- Don't worry, my child...
531
00:53:13,505 --> 00:53:18,322
... one's never alone in life,
if you want...
532
00:53:29,116 --> 00:53:32,678
I forgot... I'm a poor friar,
so you pay the bill.
533
00:53:32,752 --> 00:53:35,954
- Don't you have any money?
- I've have renounced all...
534
00:53:35,958 --> 00:53:38,556
You sure haven't
renounced eating!
535
00:53:38,992 --> 00:53:43,624
That advice I asked for,
you still haven't given it...
536
00:53:43,671 --> 00:53:47,495
Right, but tell me...
537
00:53:47,506 --> 00:53:50,339
... who is this female
driving you so crazy?
538
00:53:50,434 --> 00:53:54,961
Lady Ubalda, the wife of master
Oderisi, the miller. Do you know him?
539
00:53:55,048 --> 00:53:57,329
For sure!
540
00:53:57,409 --> 00:54:02,585
That skunk sold me
two sacks of flour full of worms!
541
00:54:02,651 --> 00:54:05,797
He wants to steal
the water from my fields!
542
00:54:05,806 --> 00:54:08,140
- Can't we fuck him?
- What ?
543
00:54:08,161 --> 00:54:11,585
I mean, how can I get
to cuckold him?
544
00:54:13,308 --> 00:54:18,232
With great cunning...
you must play the "painter ploy".
545
00:54:18,305 --> 00:54:22,492
Again? I told you
how well that went already!
546
00:54:22,502 --> 00:54:27,084
Hush, let me speak...
I mean a real painter.
547
00:54:27,144 --> 00:54:30,188
Do you know the famous master,
Caterano da Nola?
548
00:54:30,252 --> 00:54:34,720
Yes, Duke Guazzone's painter!
That's who I played...
549
00:54:34,793 --> 00:54:37,737
- Then you understand everything...
- Sure...
550
00:54:37,806 --> 00:54:41,804
I've understood nothing!
I'm inteligent, but not very...
551
00:54:41,856 --> 00:54:44,699
And with all these knocks...
552
00:54:44,728 --> 00:54:48,841
... it feels as if two bats
are arguing in my head.
553
00:54:48,883 --> 00:54:54,140
Go rest, then.
I'm going to console that poor girl...
554
00:54:54,221 --> 00:54:58,379
- We'll talk more later.
- Yes, later...
555
00:54:58,957 --> 00:55:01,872
...after she got Handy on you!
556
00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:12,649
This is a sin, my child...
557
00:55:12,722 --> 00:55:15,889
... I explained it
so you can avoid it...
558
00:55:15,935 --> 00:55:18,628
- Have I been clear?
- No...
559
00:55:18,655 --> 00:55:20,544
No?
560
00:55:20,612 --> 00:55:24,546
But I eplained it twice!
561
00:55:25,510 --> 00:55:30,685
You live in the country,
but you're hard-headed!
562
00:55:32,164 --> 00:55:34,925
Maybe I didn't
explain myself properly?
563
00:55:34,981 --> 00:55:40,283
No, you explained very well,
but I'd like to know more...
564
00:55:40,306 --> 00:55:45,306
More? Alright.
I'll explain one last time...
565
00:55:46,318 --> 00:55:49,075
... but is the last !
566
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:54,047
- Friar's hideout!
- What do you want?
567
00:55:54,076 --> 00:55:56,556
Can I have a ride too?
568
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:59,502
Haw you dare? Can't you see
I'm doing a panance?
569
00:55:59,537 --> 00:56:02,436
I just wanted the advice
I asked for...
570
00:56:02,464 --> 00:56:04,864
If not, I'm not moving...
571
00:56:04,899 --> 00:56:07,288
You won't leave?
572
00:56:09,322 --> 00:56:12,117
- Will you listen, my son?
- Yes, sure!
573
00:56:12,224 --> 00:56:16,155
But hurry, or your penance
will get cold...
574
00:56:16,985 --> 00:56:20,973
You must stop the painter
at the Castagnaccio Pass...
575
00:56:21,036 --> 00:56:25,501
With confidence, you tell him,
"I come in the name of Duke Guazzone!"
576
00:56:25,633 --> 00:56:31,416
When you say "Guazzone" It must be
like lightning from a clear sky!
577
00:56:31,425 --> 00:56:36,520
"He orders you to go
to the mill of master Oderisi...
578
00:56:36,589 --> 00:56:39,276
... to take the beautiful
Lady Ubalda."
579
00:56:39,295 --> 00:56:43,835
Once taken, you must conduct her
to the duke's castle.
580
00:56:44,002 --> 00:56:46,886
She must be the model
for the great fresco...
581
00:56:46,961 --> 00:56:50,686
... that will adorn the walls
of the banquet hall.
582
00:56:50,766 --> 00:56:54,164
Master Deodato,
does this chastity belt work?
583
00:56:54,256 --> 00:56:59,234
It's my masterpiece. None but I
can open it without a key!
584
00:56:59,295 --> 00:57:03,148
- Is it good against painters?
- Good against all artist...
585
00:57:04,190 --> 00:57:06,199
- Boss.
- What is it?
586
00:57:06,281 --> 00:57:09,187
- The master painter is back.
- Again?
587
00:57:10,672 --> 00:57:13,170
Step aside, peasant!
588
00:57:13,187 --> 00:57:18,293
I am Caterano da Nola, famous
painter and great talent...
589
00:57:18,449 --> 00:57:21,767
By order of
Duke Guazzone da Viterbo...
590
00:57:21,798 --> 00:57:25,685
... I have come to take
your wife, miller.
591
00:57:25,766 --> 00:57:29,088
Why, master?
592
00:57:28,984 --> 00:57:33,506
To take her to the castle,
where I can paint her at ease...
593
00:57:33,551 --> 00:57:37,201
I'll paint you, you son of the beach!
594
00:57:37,335 --> 00:57:44,035
- Now I'll fix you!
- Calm down,stop! Halp!
595
00:57:44,170 --> 00:57:49,165
Quick, stop him, or Duke Guazzone
will have his head off!
596
00:57:50,525 --> 00:57:55,429
Quick, or the duke's rege
will fall on us!
597
00:58:00,108 --> 00:58:02,823
- Oh, mother!
- Stop, stop...
598
00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:12,288
Master Oderisi, what have you done?!
The duke's rage will be great!
599
00:58:12,458 --> 00:58:16,762
- It is he who sent the painter!
- What painter!
600
00:58:16,784 --> 00:58:20,923
This is Olimpio,
that fucking whoremonger!
601
00:58:22,378 --> 00:58:25,438
The duke will make you pay!
602
00:58:25,690 --> 00:58:28,543
Help! Help!
603
00:58:28,613 --> 00:58:33,161
Tell the duke I'm innocent,
I didn't mean to offend.
604
00:58:33,430 --> 00:58:35,606
Calm down, won't you!
605
00:58:35,687 --> 00:58:39,021
Can't you see he's sleeping?
You'll wake him up!
606
00:59:04,963 --> 00:59:07,504
Hey move!
607
00:59:10,725 --> 00:59:14,364
If we're late
it'll be your fault!
608
00:59:15,064 --> 00:59:20,282
I was framed, I'd never
lack respect for the duke!
609
00:59:21,239 --> 00:59:23,683
Can you prove it ?
610
00:59:25,665 --> 00:59:27,794
No? So?
611
00:59:27,835 --> 00:59:30,515
It's the truth, I'm innocent!
612
00:59:31,577 --> 00:59:35,032
This guy was innocent too...
or at least said he was.
613
00:59:35,163 --> 00:59:38,963
- Doesn't justice exist?
- Sure it exists...
614
00:59:39,033 --> 00:59:42,480
- But it takes money,
and if you have any...
615
00:59:42,497 --> 00:59:47,874
... I have a lawyer friend,
an eminent jurist...
616
00:59:47,950 --> 00:59:51,027
- Shall I call him ?
- Well, if he's eminent...
617
01:00:19,264 --> 01:00:21,993
Didn't scare you
even just a bit?
618
01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:24,904
- No...
- Then I'll try again...
619
01:00:30,256 --> 01:00:33,920
- Better this time, right?
- Just come and eat!
620
01:00:34,582 --> 01:00:37,452
I can't, I've a commitment...
621
01:00:37,502 --> 01:00:40,265
I'm escorting a procession
touring the mills to ask for flour....
622
01:00:41,367 --> 01:00:45,070
- A procession of what?
- Uh... they're lepers...
623
01:00:48,157 --> 01:00:50,992
Hey, where are you going?
624
01:00:51,007 --> 01:00:53,882
They're not bad guys!
625
01:00:54,912 --> 01:00:58,484
It's me who's the smartass!
626
01:00:59,166 --> 01:01:03,239
Lady Ubalda, what now?
627
01:01:20,008 --> 01:01:22,830
- What's that noise?
- Oh, come on...
628
01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:25,721
- No, one moment...
- You always say that!
629
01:01:25,763 --> 01:01:28,869
Can't you hear it?
Maybe the miller's back!
630
01:01:29,054 --> 01:01:32,262
My jealous husband!
631
01:01:43,384 --> 01:01:46,164
-Open up!
- Who is it?
632
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,800
I'm the hard one
that heals!
633
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,756
That is. I'm love personified...
Well, whatever...
634
01:01:53,936 --> 01:01:56,727
- 50 florins, sir...
- Fuck!
635
01:01:56,813 --> 01:01:59,353
- I'm sorry?
- I said, "justice is expemsive"!
636
01:01:59,420 --> 01:02:02,357
Miller, is your head
worth less?
637
01:02:02,377 --> 01:02:05,721
No, but I was adding it up...
5 to the soldier who called you...
638
01:02:06,049 --> 01:02:10,283
... 10 to you, that's 15...
who gets the other 35?
639
01:02:10,293 --> 01:02:13,727
Duke Guazzone...
who else hands out justice?
640
01:02:21,005 --> 01:02:24,347
But you are Olimpio!
You're not my husband!
641
01:02:24,379 --> 01:02:26,864
Why, is he the only one with a prick?
642
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:30,570
It's not my husband!
643
01:02:30,637 --> 01:02:33,788
- It's not my husband!
- Have you seen me in profile?
644
01:02:33,841 --> 01:02:37,771
- You gain in the excenge!
- It's nou my husband!
645
01:02:37,792 --> 01:02:41,064
Why scream?
There's only us two here!
646
01:02:41,784 --> 01:02:44,862
It's not my husband...
647
01:03:14,570 --> 01:03:17,318
He's dead...
648
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,734
Giannetto, what have we done?
I'm scared...
649
01:03:40,853 --> 01:03:45,114
Let's stay calm, Ubalda.
Olimpio was a weird guy...
650
01:03:45,178 --> 01:03:48,507
They'll think he's gone on some trip,
without telling anyone...
651
01:03:48,591 --> 01:03:51,663
Don't worry,
we're in no danger.
652
01:03:51,672 --> 01:03:54,518
- Are you sure?
- Of course...
653
01:03:54,631 --> 01:03:56,920
... and anyway, who's going
to look in a cesspit?
654
01:04:01,751 --> 01:04:03,958
Lady!
655
01:04:04,032 --> 01:04:06,790
Who's armor is this?
656
01:04:06,933 --> 01:04:10,592
Have you lain with that pig Olimpio?
657
01:04:11,427 --> 01:04:15,063
- Have wanted to...
- I know very well, damn!
658
01:04:15,287 --> 01:04:18,506
That's why I ended up
in that cage!
659
01:04:18,591 --> 01:04:22,692
- You think I gave in?
- Actually, I do.
660
01:04:24,167 --> 01:04:26,736
How you dare?!
661
01:04:26,752 --> 01:04:30,542
I'm a timorous and faithful woman....
662
01:04:31,149 --> 01:04:35,017
When Olimpio tried
to possess me...
663
01:04:35,585 --> 01:04:40,259
... I heat him with this club!
664
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:44,235
- Like this! Like this!
- Hey, stop it!
665
01:04:44,328 --> 01:04:48,270
- Do you believe me?
- Sure I believe you!
666
01:04:48,986 --> 01:04:51,840
- And... I believe he's dead.
- Dead?!
667
01:04:51,848 --> 01:04:54,620
Saint Cerusico, virgin and martyr!
668
01:04:54,662 --> 01:04:56,922
What did you do with the body?
669
01:04:56,995 --> 01:04:59,939
I threw him where he deserves...
in the cesspit.
670
01:04:59,954 --> 01:05:02,043
The cesspit?
671
01:05:02,137 --> 01:05:04,896
Then, we have to
get rid of this srmor.
672
01:05:04,907 --> 01:05:08,441
- We should bury it...
- Yes, but not close to the house.
673
01:05:08,490 --> 01:05:11,951
Help me, I'm going to bury it
in the countryside.
674
01:05:12,021 --> 01:05:15,182
Excellent idea,
take care you're not seen...
675
01:05:26,489 --> 01:05:31,766
Olimpio De'Pannocchieschi, you
tried to trick me, but you're dead.
676
01:05:31,870 --> 01:05:36,556
When I've got rid of this armor,
no one will suspect me...
677
01:05:37,008 --> 01:05:42,233
Yes, but... why bury it?
I could use it to get revenge...
678
01:05:42,918 --> 01:05:45,988
Of course... how stupid!
679
01:05:46,032 --> 01:05:49,338
It's unique opportunity...
680
01:05:53,790 --> 01:05:58,241
Darling Uguccione, give me more...
681
01:06:01,503 --> 01:06:05,572
- Lady, did you hear anything?
- I'm not made of stone!
682
01:06:05,955 --> 01:06:09,066
I feel everything!
683
01:06:09,448 --> 01:06:12,371
I clearly heard footsteps!
684
01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:16,071
Saint Fertility,
my husband's back!
685
01:06:16,150 --> 01:06:19,663
Ouick, under the bed!
- It always ends like this!
686
01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:22,893
I'll open, husband dear.
687
01:06:23,108 --> 01:06:26,391
In your absence,
I preferred to lock myseif in...
688
01:06:30,112 --> 01:06:34,077
What happened?
Why don't you speak?
689
01:06:36,932 --> 01:06:41,051
What's wrong?
Are you angry with me?
690
01:06:44,411 --> 01:06:49,900
You did well to come back,
my penance ends at midnight...
691
01:06:49,952 --> 01:06:54,894
I see your desire
and I'm ready to please you...
692
01:07:06,548 --> 01:07:08,912
But...
693
01:07:09,073 --> 01:07:11,667
- But you're not my husband!
- No!
694
01:07:11,731 --> 01:07:15,458
- Help, it's not my husband!
- Hush!
695
01:07:15,542 --> 01:07:17,951
Shut up!
696
01:07:50,447 --> 01:07:53,446
Are you sure
the miller was dead?
697
01:07:53,462 --> 01:07:56,308
If he wasn't,
he will be down there...
698
01:07:56,382 --> 01:08:01,650
Lady, I'm not a killer, but...
better master Oderisi than us.
699
01:08:01,954 --> 01:08:05,386
Yes... better him.
700
01:08:08,516 --> 01:08:10,282
Where am I?
701
01:08:10,337 --> 01:08:14,175
Don't worry, master Oderisi,
we're both in deep shit!
702
01:08:14,892 --> 01:08:17,568
- Weren't you dead?
- Did your wife tell you?
703
01:08:17,572 --> 01:08:20,194
- Did she tell you about her lover?
- What?
704
01:08:20,237 --> 01:08:22,252
You're a cuckold, master Oderisi...
705
01:08:22,340 --> 01:08:26,994
You filthy rogue, look who's talking!
I'll show you who's the cuckold!
706
01:08:27,605 --> 01:08:30,347
Who do you take me for?
707
01:08:30,673 --> 01:08:33,483
Your wife has a lover too!
708
01:08:33,555 --> 01:08:36,489
- So you had a go as well!
- Yes, but I got nowhere.
709
01:08:36,548 --> 01:08:38,764
Me neither!
710
01:08:39,103 --> 01:08:42,134
In that case,
it's time we talked...
711
01:08:42,345 --> 01:08:46,425
- Yes, let's talk...
- At last...
712
01:08:47,513 --> 01:08:51,224
Take that,shitface!
713
01:08:52,038 --> 01:08:54,758
- Get out, if you've got the balls!
- It's not easy!
714
01:08:54,778 --> 01:08:57,261
I'll help you.
715
01:08:57,638 --> 01:09:00,527
Lost your tongue, huh?
716
01:09:01,309 --> 01:09:03,992
Oderisi, take this!
717
01:09:04,431 --> 01:09:07,500
I got you there,didn't!
718
01:09:08,089 --> 01:09:10,119
Ugly moron!
719
01:09:10,189 --> 01:09:13,419
Ugly maybe...
moron for sure!
720
01:09:14,076 --> 01:09:16,475
Duke Guazzone!
721
01:09:17,557 --> 01:09:20,611
Got you! What a head butt!
722
01:09:20,682 --> 01:09:23,661
Who knows what's in my head?!
723
01:09:30,272 --> 01:09:33,875
- Come here...
- What's my name? Who am I? Did it rain?
724
01:09:37,994 --> 01:09:41,744
Enough, Oderisi!
We're clean now, aren't we?
725
01:09:50,559 --> 01:09:55,134
- Stop, I've lost my thirst... peace?
- Peace.
726
01:09:57,351 --> 01:10:01,197
However, according to me
your wife's an easy lay!
727
01:10:01,287 --> 01:10:06,089
She's a bit of a slut,
but yours is no joke either!
728
01:10:06,153 --> 01:10:10,706
There's a proverb that says,
"Wives and oxen are found at home!"
729
01:10:10,709 --> 01:10:13,908
We found wives,
but it hasn't worked out!
730
01:10:13,910 --> 01:10:17,062
Does that mean next time
we'll try with oxen?!
731
01:10:18,014 --> 01:10:21,156
Speaking sincerely, Olimpio...
732
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:25,431
- Do you like my wife, Lady Ubalda?
- Fuck!
733
01:10:25,675 --> 01:10:30,044
- Fuck yes or fuck no?
- What a question... fuck yes!
734
01:10:30,339 --> 01:10:32,189
Ok...
735
01:10:32,263 --> 01:10:37,390
... and I confess that I like
your wife, Lady Fiamma.
736
01:10:37,993 --> 01:10:41,789
Am I wrong, or are you
proposing we swap horns?
737
01:10:42,473 --> 01:10:46,324
I'm just saying that neither of us
wants others to enjoy our wifes...
738
01:10:46,415 --> 01:10:49,748
- Correct. Excuse me...
- Thanks.
739
01:10:54,072 --> 01:10:57,349
In other words,
our fun is our bussiness!
740
01:10:59,947 --> 01:11:02,940
How come they did't drown
in the cesspit?
741
01:11:03,186 --> 01:11:08,409
Men like that
have the devil on their side.
742
01:11:08,501 --> 01:11:11,935
When they got home,
did they forgive their wives?
743
01:11:11,977 --> 01:11:16,802
Not only, but they confirmed
a vile exchange agreement!
744
01:11:16,866 --> 01:11:19,466
You mean, each sleeps
with the other's wife?
745
01:11:19,487 --> 01:11:22,497
Who knows how they'll be
after this sin!
746
01:11:23,361 --> 01:11:26,830
What times! The end of the world
is really coming...
747
01:11:26,938 --> 01:11:29,540
Oh mother!
748
01:11:39,970 --> 01:11:43,038
All in embroidered silk,
a real dream...
749
01:11:43,410 --> 01:11:47,514
You're right, I myself have seen
the duchess wear that dress.
750
01:11:47,603 --> 01:11:50,866
- They say it comes from France...
- The French have wanderful tailors...
751
01:11:50,932 --> 01:11:53,804
... but I find that dress
truly scandalous!
752
01:11:53,809 --> 01:11:56,439
- Do you think it is too short?
- Very short!
753
01:11:56,530 --> 01:11:59,268
To think it even shows
your ankles!
754
01:11:59,355 --> 01:12:02,581
Heavens, where will this fashion
lead us?
755
01:12:02,633 --> 01:12:05,623
They'll say that we're easy!
756
01:12:05,686 --> 01:12:10,281
So, will you give me
your chastity belt key?
757
01:12:10,406 --> 01:12:13,786
Even though the word
'chastity" doesn't suit her...
758
01:12:13,846 --> 01:12:17,144
- Here!
- I suppose you want mine...
759
01:12:20,197 --> 01:12:24,997
But don't fall in love... and re-lock it
asa soon as you're done.
760
01:12:27,242 --> 01:12:30,204
Do you think they'll ask questions?
761
01:12:30,283 --> 01:12:32,482
What questions!
762
01:12:32,547 --> 01:12:34,657
At most
they'll scream a little...
763
01:12:35,126 --> 01:12:37,925
- Gentlemen?
- Here!
764
01:12:37,986 --> 01:12:40,923
This is a nice spot, no?
765
01:12:40,990 --> 01:12:43,168
Perfect, I'd say...
766
01:12:43,199 --> 01:12:47,677
It's a marvellous day,
for eating and making love...
767
01:12:48,519 --> 01:12:50,916
Here, my lady...
768
01:12:51,886 --> 01:12:54,114
Here we are!
769
01:12:54,292 --> 01:12:58,630
Olimpio, do you prefer
eating or making love?
770
01:12:59,693 --> 01:13:04,074
I prefer making love, but
I'm not slouch at eating either!
771
01:13:06,116 --> 01:13:08,836
- And you, ladies?
- Loving...
772
01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:12,695
- ... because eating makes us fat...
- ... and therefore unattractive...
773
01:13:12,739 --> 01:13:15,189
Well said
774
01:13:23,015 --> 01:13:26,544
Fiamma, I hope you haven't
forgotten the onions...
775
01:13:26,742 --> 01:13:30,562
Onions? But you don't like them...
776
01:13:30,985 --> 01:13:33,405
... you say they're heavy...
777
01:13:33,411 --> 01:13:37,083
Well, once I killed a heard
of buffaloes with a single breath...
778
01:13:37,264 --> 01:13:40,857
... no offence to present company,
you understand...
779
01:13:39,977 --> 01:13:42,615
But master Oderisi likes onions...
780
01:13:42,666 --> 01:13:44,491
Me?
781
01:13:44,539 --> 01:13:46,588
Oh, yes... of course!
782
01:13:46,599 --> 01:13:49,480
Impossible, you've always
hated onions!
783
01:13:49,529 --> 01:13:54,081
I adore them! But at home
I don't want my breath to bother you.
784
01:13:54,084 --> 01:13:57,979
You can eat a cart-load here,
it'll all evaporate.
785
01:13:58,326 --> 01:14:02,356
Fiamma, remember
that vegetable patch near here?
786
01:14:02,392 --> 01:14:05,245
- Why not go and get a few onions?
- As you wish...
787
01:14:05,251 --> 01:14:08,322
... since it gives you pleasure...
I'll go and get some onions...
788
01:14:08,426 --> 01:14:11,223
I'll escort you...
789
01:14:11,336 --> 01:14:13,863
If my husband agrees...
790
01:14:13,930 --> 01:14:17,825
Oderisi is like a brother...
the stupid one, that is!
791
01:14:18,430 --> 01:14:24,755
- Well then, I'm off...
- Yes, go, I'll wait for you here.
792
01:14:47,703 --> 01:14:49,913
- Sir...
- My lady?
793
01:14:49,958 --> 01:14:52,868
- What are you waiting for?
- What am I meant to do?
794
01:14:52,878 --> 01:14:57,692
Cuckold the miller, given that
you're both in agreement!
795
01:14:57,706 --> 01:15:00,137
But nobody knows...
796
01:15:02,156 --> 01:15:05,866
Who could forget!
Lord that's a lot!
797
01:15:09,915 --> 01:15:12,506
- My lady...
- Yes?
798
01:15:13,797 --> 01:15:18,183
- Do you really want get onions?
- But we're getting them for you...
799
01:15:18,391 --> 01:15:22,814
- Do you want like them?
- Yes, but I prefer apples...
800
01:15:22,946 --> 01:15:26,689
- Sir...
- Not to mention melons...
801
01:15:27,950 --> 01:15:30,260
- Shameless!
- Yes.
802
01:15:30,323 --> 01:15:34,253
- So you, I'll undress...
- And the key?
803
01:15:34,329 --> 01:15:37,030
Yes, the key...
804
01:15:37,856 --> 01:15:40,653
Here it is...
805
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:49,683
Sir, I mean...
806
01:15:49,992 --> 01:15:52,667
... are we doing this or not?
807
01:15:52,669 --> 01:15:54,873
Of course we are,
I'm nearly there!
808
01:15:54,946 --> 01:15:58,010
Holy shit, does this
key work or not?
809
01:16:02,577 --> 01:16:05,502
It won't open!
810
01:16:05,507 --> 01:16:07,486
It won't open?
811
01:16:07,666 --> 01:16:10,596
- Can I try?
- Sure, go ahead...
812
01:16:17,978 --> 01:16:20,690
Son of a fucking bitch!
813
01:16:20,847 --> 01:16:24,180
Olimpio De' Pannocchieschi,
key facker!
814
01:16:24,871 --> 01:16:28,709
Master Oderisi, that's
the last time you screw me!
815
01:16:28,717 --> 01:16:32,547
I'm going to butt your belly
till you burst!
816
01:16:32,597 --> 01:16:36,489
Get ready, death is night!
817
01:16:36,843 --> 01:16:39,266
Oh, sorry...
818
01:16:39,307 --> 01:16:41,786
Master Oderisi...
819
01:16:41,853 --> 01:16:46,518
Don't ask for mercy...
Oh, I thought I was stronger!
820
01:16:47,541 --> 01:16:49,928
- Not fair,I'm down!
- True...
821
01:16:49,967 --> 01:16:52,448
- Peace?
- War!
822
01:16:54,519 --> 01:16:56,999
Thanks, I didn't know how to stop...
823
01:16:58,082 --> 01:17:00,964
What?
Has the sun gone down?
824
01:17:01,020 --> 01:17:03,645
My ass isn't tender!
825
01:17:03,785 --> 01:17:07,241
Oderisi, are you hugging me?
Do you want to dance?
826
01:17:12,523 --> 01:17:16,439
Don't try to get away,
I've got you!
827
01:17:17,054 --> 01:17:20,604
What are this? Spring rolls?
828
01:17:21,597 --> 01:17:25,770
You know, you're heavy...
why not try a diet?
829
01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:30,584
Woms would work great!
830
01:17:31,274 --> 01:17:34,256
Peace?
- Peace...
831
01:17:35,467 --> 01:17:39,338
- Had enought?
- I'm a punch short, but it's too risky.
832
01:17:39,562 --> 01:17:42,780
- Do you still want Ubalda?
- And, you Fiamma?
833
01:17:42,838 --> 01:17:45,461
- Me, sure...
- Do you think I'm stupid?
834
01:17:45,505 --> 01:17:49,223
Then let's exchange keys,
but the right ones...
835
01:17:49,348 --> 01:17:52,035
No jockes!
836
01:17:54,496 --> 01:17:57,147
- I've lost it!
- Me too!
837
01:17:57,203 --> 01:18:00,153
- But we did't hear them fall!
- Let's look...
838
01:18:00,250 --> 01:18:02,958
Yes, let's look...
839
01:18:03,553 --> 01:18:07,369
The keys aren't here!
But there's a lot of chicory...
840
01:18:25,722 --> 01:18:28,424
Move!
841
01:18:33,643 --> 01:18:36,145
Come on!
842
01:18:38,022 --> 01:18:41,213
Ladies, what a lovely surprise!
843
01:18:41,285 --> 01:18:44,466
The plesure
is all ours, father...
844
01:18:44,524 --> 01:18:47,752
What brings you out here,
so far from town?
845
01:18:47,801 --> 01:18:51,345
Just an innocent picnic
with our husbands...
846
01:18:51,510 --> 01:18:54,809
Master Olimpio
and Oderisi together?
847
01:18:54,884 --> 01:18:59,890
Don't be surprised, our husbands
have reached an agreement...
848
01:19:00,053 --> 01:19:02,831
... they're firm friends now.
849
01:19:03,513 --> 01:19:09,679
How wonderful, at last
my desires have come true!
850
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,238
But where are they?
851
01:19:13,403 --> 01:19:15,524
Her husband is in the fields
gathering onions...
852
01:19:15,549 --> 01:19:20,405
- Hers went for apples and melons...
- Great, I'm so happy!
853
01:19:20,846 --> 01:19:24,726
Field work makes a man
strong and vigorous!
854
01:19:25,964 --> 01:19:28,212
Please...
855
01:19:28,224 --> 01:19:33,154
My ladies, why don't we dedicate
this rest to meditation?
856
01:19:34,021 --> 01:19:36,263
You guide us, dear monk...
857
01:19:36,300 --> 01:19:40,164
Everyone say's you're a master
at talking to souls...
858
01:19:40,793 --> 01:19:43,689
Yes, everyone does,
won't you teach us too...
859
01:19:43,956 --> 01:19:47,968
- Does the abyss hide many sins?
- Hundreds...
860
01:19:48,260 --> 01:19:52,467
- How can a woman defend herself?
- By fleeing temptation...
861
01:19:52,568 --> 01:19:56,929
- And how does one flee?
- With will power, my children...
862
01:19:56,957 --> 01:20:00,044
And what must one do
to avoid the precipice?
863
01:20:00,117 --> 01:20:02,062
Apply will power...
864
01:20:02,098 --> 01:20:04,797
Help us find
the keys to happiness...
865
01:20:04,805 --> 01:20:08,423
- You have them...
- All of them...
866
01:20:10,634 --> 01:20:17,084
... which always works!
867
01:20:25,309 --> 01:20:27,863
- I haven't found mine!
- Me neither!
868
01:20:27,928 --> 01:20:31,151
Damn whoever invented
chastity belts!
869
01:20:32,246 --> 01:20:36,959
Modestly speaking, I believe
I'm one of the greatest inventors...
870
01:20:37,053 --> 01:20:41,723
... of chastity belts
and a similar protective devices.
871
01:20:41,981 --> 01:20:46,333
I have just the right device
for you...
872
01:20:46,466 --> 01:20:48,779
How do you find inspiration?
873
01:20:48,807 --> 01:20:51,997
In a flash, like now...
874
01:20:52,032 --> 01:20:58,136
I feel my mind move,
and snakes all over me...
875
01:20:58,224 --> 01:21:01,369
- Are you throwing them at me?
- Oh, sorry.
876
01:21:01,902 --> 01:21:04,384
- Here are my latest finds...
- Why, did you lose them?
877
01:21:09,670 --> 01:21:14,415
Under whatever circumstances,
a true chastity belt...
878
01:21:15,336 --> 01:21:19,992
... protects a husband's honor
with extreme defence devices.
879
01:21:21,327 --> 01:21:24,699
This one's called
"The Demon's Claw"...
880
01:21:25,409 --> 01:21:29,255
I'll show you how it works...
Here...
881
01:21:29,844 --> 01:21:32,725
...proceed...
882
01:21:38,149 --> 01:21:40,079
See?
883
01:21:40,137 --> 01:21:44,541
No cucumber escapes
"The Daemo's Claw"...
884
01:21:45,253 --> 01:21:50,666
Now let's look at
"Sulphur of Satan"...
885
01:21:50,761 --> 01:21:54,247
Diabolic and infallible...
886
01:21:56,148 --> 01:21:58,702
Hand me a cucumber...
887
01:22:01,527 --> 01:22:04,423
Observe!
888
01:22:07,348 --> 01:22:10,065
Sulphur of Satan!
889
01:22:10,091 --> 01:22:13,279
No cucumber fails to scorch!
890
01:22:13,428 --> 01:22:16,606
But what if it scorches
my wife's peach?
891
01:22:16,633 --> 01:22:20,710
- Don't you have anything less drastic?
- Sure, my masterpiece!
892
01:22:20,874 --> 01:22:23,722
A cucumber, please...
893
01:22:23,740 --> 01:22:26,189
Here it is...
894
01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:30,627
A last caress... totally silent!
895
01:22:30,655 --> 01:22:34,720
It's a belt with one entry
and free access...
896
01:22:35,356 --> 01:22:37,781
Cucumber...
897
01:22:37,952 --> 01:22:41,133
- And now?
- When you least expect it...
898
01:22:42,709 --> 01:22:45,586
Did I scare you?
899
01:22:45,603 --> 01:22:48,251
- Does noise weigh?
- No...
900
01:22:48,306 --> 01:22:50,121
Then I shitted myself!
901
01:22:50,161 --> 01:22:53,040
Shall I warp it,
or will you take it with you?
902
01:22:53,049 --> 01:22:56,228
What?
Oh... send it to my house...
903
01:23:02,213 --> 01:23:04,244
Master Deodato, may I?
904
01:23:04,331 --> 01:23:08,635
- Oderisi, what brings you?
- Can you keep a secret?
905
01:23:09,321 --> 01:23:13,053
Like a charm!
An inventor is like a confessor...
906
01:23:14,569 --> 01:23:18,158
I need a device...
907
01:23:20,036 --> 01:23:24,848
... that allows free access
and looks innocuous...
908
01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:28,511
But at the right moment... SNACK!
71212
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.