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1
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I'm the town crier, here to wish
you a happy Harvest Day.
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00:00:03,773 --> 00:00:06,307
We're gonna kick off festivities
with a play
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00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:09,710
commemorating the first-ever Harvest Day,
4
00:00:09,712 --> 00:00:11,312
which was celebrated, peacefully,
5
00:00:11,314 --> 00:00:14,949
by King Cragnoor's knights
and the native Leaf People.
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00:00:14,951 --> 00:00:16,984
[CHUCKLES] Give a round of applause.
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- [CHUCKLES] How adorable.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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Do you think
this performance will mention
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how we murdered the Leaf People
and stole their land?
10
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,428
Come on, Al. History always gets
whitewashed over time.
11
00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,430
The genocide happened three years ago.
12
00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:30,898
We were all there.
13
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:33,767
Once upon a time, there was
a tribe called the Leaf People,
14
00:00:33,769 --> 00:00:37,237
who, for years, lived just
outside of Lower Murkford,
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00:00:37,239 --> 00:00:39,974
doing whatever it is they did.
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00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:42,476
Corn.
17
00:00:42,478 --> 00:00:46,013
Then the noble King Cragnoor
led an expedition
18
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to the Leaf Person territory
19
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in order to... be friends with them.
20
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Hello. I'm King Cragnoor the Kind,
21
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:54,857
and I love the Leaf People.
22
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- [CROWD "AWWS"]
- [LAUGHS]
23
00:00:56,961 --> 00:00:58,961
- Oh, wonderful.
- [APPLAUSE]
24
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Can I have this land, please?
25
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Yes. We do not want it.
26
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Goodbye.
27
00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:06,202
And then the Leaf People...
28
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uh, just... you know, they went away.
29
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Bye-bye! [LAUGHS]
30
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We killed them!
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00:01:13,811 --> 00:01:16,345
And that's why once a year,
on Harvest Day,
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we celebrate peace, togetherness,
33
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and the winning spirit of Lower Murkford.
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[CHUCKLES] The end.
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
36
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Why are you clapping?
37
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I know the play was problematic,
38
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but the little kid who played
Cragnoor was electric.
39
00:01:31,929 --> 00:01:33,729
- [BELL RINGING]
- Happy Harvest Day!
40
00:01:33,731 --> 00:01:35,765
Encore.
41
00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:39,101
♪ I've gone down that road again ♪
42
00:01:39,103 --> 00:01:41,670
♪ I've been there before ♪
43
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♪ Though want to know more ♪
44
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♪ It's always been ♪
45
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♪
46
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♪
47
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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[SWORD SLICES, CHICKEN CLUCKS]
49
00:02:03,461 --> 00:02:06,829
♪
50
00:02:06,831 --> 00:02:10,201
Gosh! That bone stew is
smelling great, Dad.
51
00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:11,367
Wouldn't be Harvest Day without it.
52
00:02:11,369 --> 00:02:13,068
I'm so excited for Uncle Bert
to get here.
53
00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:15,004
You guys think you'll
tell your famous wolf story?
54
00:02:15,006 --> 00:02:16,539
[CHUCKLING] We just might.
55
00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:18,007
[CHUCKLES] Are you excited, Al?
56
00:02:18,009 --> 00:02:20,309
I mean, no, not really.
57
00:02:20,311 --> 00:02:22,244
Me and Bert fight every year,
and I hate him.
58
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,199
I know you're not too crazy
about his politics.
59
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah, the guy is nuts.
60
00:02:27,285 --> 00:02:29,785
He voted for King Cragnoor. That's crazy.
61
00:02:29,787 --> 00:02:31,320
Why is that crazy?
62
00:02:31,322 --> 00:02:34,068
Because we're a monarchy.
We don't even get a vote.
63
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,736
Uncle Bert just wrote "Cragnoor"
on a piece of paper
64
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and threw it at the castle
65
00:02:38,022 --> 00:02:39,262
because he loves the guy so much.
66
00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:42,694
I know, but can we just...
have a nice dinner?
67
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[LAUGHS]
68
00:02:44,085 --> 00:02:45,182
And Bert's my little brother,
69
00:02:45,184 --> 00:02:46,715
and I don't get to see him very often.
70
00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:49,561
And, I mean, he did have
a pretty rough year.
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00:02:49,563 --> 00:02:50,695
I can be civil.
72
00:02:50,697 --> 00:02:52,397
As long as he can be civil, too,
73
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there won't be any problems.
74
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:54,956
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
75
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Ooh! They're here.
76
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,526
[LAUGHS]
77
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Bert alert!
78
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:03,231
Cousin Chip, Cousin Tunt! [LAUGHS]
79
00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:04,465
Ooh! [LAUGHTER]
80
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:05,600
Ow!
81
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,196
BERT: How the hell you doing? [LAUGHS]
82
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Can't complain.
83
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:11,005
Oh, there's our little bookworm.
84
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:12,540
- Ah!
- Hi, Uncle Bert.
85
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:15,309
So, Al just started
in the family business.
86
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:18,546
Oh, putting that fancy degree
to good use, huh?
87
00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,148
[LAUGHS]
88
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,916
Pow! Bert alert!
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[LAUGHS]
90
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,685
Hey, be a doll,
91
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,446
uncork that bottle for me here.
92
00:03:26,448 --> 00:03:27,733
Thanks, hon.
93
00:03:28,258 --> 00:03:29,757
Sure thing, Uncle Bert.
94
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:30,858
[LAUGHS]
95
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,627
[POP!]
96
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:36,631
Chauncley, your aunt and uncles are here.
97
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♪
98
00:03:40,503 --> 00:03:42,036
King Trex.
99
00:03:42,497 --> 00:03:44,005
King Morgdon.
100
00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,674
Queen Gamillagoor.
101
00:03:48,044 --> 00:03:49,677
Lord Vexler.
102
00:03:49,679 --> 00:03:52,580
Have you ever noticed how
my family is just so...
103
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:55,183
I don't know... stiff
and formal with each other?
104
00:03:55,185 --> 00:03:57,385
Let us shake hands in acknowledgement
105
00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,986
of each other's presence.
106
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,388
Let us.
107
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:03,824
It's just like, where's
the love, you know?
108
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,194
You come from a family
of insane warlords.
109
00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:08,429
You're lucky they aren't
killing each other.
110
00:04:08,431 --> 00:04:10,565
It would just be nice if
we could bond for once.
111
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:13,188
You know, if we can't connect
as a family on Harvest Day,
112
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:14,495
then when can we?
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Prince, if I were you,
114
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I would just stay out of the way
115
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:19,160
and let the day pass without incident.
116
00:04:19,162 --> 00:04:24,011
Or I could curate a fun series
of games and other icebreakers
117
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that will tear down the walls
my relatives have put up.
118
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,690
Did someone say "Family Game Night"?
119
00:04:29,692 --> 00:04:30,796
N-No.
120
00:04:30,798 --> 00:04:32,520
I did. It was me.
121
00:04:33,215 --> 00:04:34,589
Shall we commence with small talk
122
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about how traffic was on the way here?
123
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,460
Hmm. 'Twas rough.
124
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Color 42!
125
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[EXHALES SHARPLY]
126
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Hut, hut, hike!
127
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:50,471
♪
128
00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:55,109
[LAUGHS]
129
00:04:55,111 --> 00:04:56,635
Hey, how was the trip over, Bert?
130
00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:58,050
Oh, not good.
131
00:04:58,052 --> 00:05:00,514
We stopped at breakfast
in Middle Murkford.
132
00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:02,350
And we had this guy serving us.
133
00:05:02,352 --> 00:05:04,986
Jesus, he smelled like he just
got off the spice trail.
134
00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:07,692
So I said to him, "Hey, pal,
I don't know where on the map
135
00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:09,532
you come from, but around here,
136
00:05:09,532 --> 00:05:12,099
there ain't no sea monsters
and we wash our ass."
137
00:05:12,101 --> 00:05:13,167
[LAUGHS]
138
00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,095
Ooh, ooh, ooh! I forgot.
139
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,872
[WHISPERING] I'm supposed to
watch my words around this one.
140
00:05:17,874 --> 00:05:19,206
Huh? [LAUGHS]
141
00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:20,574
[CLAPS HANDS]
142
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[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
143
00:05:22,311 --> 00:05:24,345
[CLEARS THROAT] You're a grown man.
144
00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:26,514
You're allowed to say
whatever's on your mind.
145
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[SIGHS] Yeah, for now. [SNIFFLES]
146
00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:32,686
Pretty soon, you won't be able
to say anything anymore.
147
00:05:32,688 --> 00:05:34,655
Hey, I have an idea.
148
00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:37,507
Why don't we all say
what we're grateful for.
149
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I'll start.
150
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:42,296
I'm grateful for this beautiful
home, my wonderful son,
151
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,932
and my brilliant, talented daughter.
152
00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,868
[LAUGHS] And I'm grateful for my boys.
153
00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:49,203
[PUNCHES LANDING]
154
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But, more than anything,
155
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I'm grateful that I live in Murkford,
156
00:05:53,476 --> 00:05:56,677
and that's something that we all
should be grateful for.
157
00:05:56,679 --> 00:06:00,347
And you can thank King Cragnoor for that.
158
00:06:00,349 --> 00:06:01,882
Well...
159
00:06:01,884 --> 00:06:06,087
I might argue that Cragnoor
is the absolute worst king
160
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,955
in the history of the entire realm.
161
00:06:07,957 --> 00:06:09,457
[LAUGHS] You're young.
162
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:11,358
You haven't been out in the real world.
163
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,427
I mean, you don't...
you don't know how it works.
164
00:06:13,429 --> 00:06:16,330
Says the guy who's hardly
ever left the swamp.
165
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:19,600
Uh-oh. I think the claws are coming out.
166
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[HISSES]
167
00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:21,869
[LAUGHS]
168
00:06:21,871 --> 00:06:23,904
[DOOR CLOSES]
169
00:06:23,906 --> 00:06:26,240
Pow! Bert alert! [LAUGHS]
170
00:06:26,242 --> 00:06:29,310
Round 1, Uncle Bert. [LAUGHS]
171
00:06:30,213 --> 00:06:32,079
Please excuse me.
172
00:06:36,865 --> 00:06:38,097
[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS]
173
00:06:40,885 --> 00:06:43,105
Hey, Al, come back downstairs.
174
00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:44,696
The bone stew is almost ready.
175
00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:47,699
And I think dad and Uncle Bert
might tell the wolf story soon.
176
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,868
Yeah, I'll come down in a bit.
177
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,436
And when I do, Uncle Bert and I
178
00:06:51,438 --> 00:06:54,039
are going to have a very
interesting conversation.
179
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:56,308
Come on, Al. Be nice to Uncle Bert.
180
00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:58,310
He's had a really rough year.
181
00:06:58,312 --> 00:07:00,879
You know what happened between
him and Aunt Rhonda.
182
00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:04,316
That doesn't give him a pass
to be a full-blown nightmare.
183
00:07:04,318 --> 00:07:06,585
Come on. Dad said that you can't
fight with Uncle Bert.
184
00:07:06,587 --> 00:07:08,125
Yeah, he said I can't fight with him.
185
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:10,789
He did not say I can't
carefully outfox him
186
00:07:10,791 --> 00:07:13,992
with a set of well-researched
political talking points,
187
00:07:13,994 --> 00:07:17,596
all backed up with objective
statistics and facts.
188
00:07:17,598 --> 00:07:20,632
That's just 'cause Dad doesn't
know those words.
189
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:23,101
[BERT LAUGHS]
190
00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:25,209
Alright, that is how you play charades.
191
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,873
So, who'd like to go first?
192
00:07:31,211 --> 00:07:33,578
Uncle Morgdon, how about you?
193
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:35,380
I accept.
194
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,621
So, I just pretend to do the thing
195
00:07:42,623 --> 00:07:43,898
that it says on the paper.
196
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:44,996
Yes, exactly.
197
00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:46,324
Very well.
198
00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:51,730
[CLEARS THROAT]
199
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,678
Um...[GRUNTS]
200
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,233
Beheading a man.
201
00:07:55,235 --> 00:07:57,335
Clubbing the head of a rival queen.
202
00:07:59,373 --> 00:08:00,839
Beheading an innocent man.
203
00:08:00,864 --> 00:08:02,440
Hurling a corpse off a mountain.
204
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:03,931
I don't think you heard what I said.
205
00:08:03,956 --> 00:08:05,322
I said beheading an innocent man.
206
00:08:05,412 --> 00:08:06,244
No.
207
00:08:06,246 --> 00:08:08,313
Oh, oh. Shh. No talking.
208
00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:09,347
[GRUNTS]
209
00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:10,917
- Fishing.
- Correct.
210
00:08:10,919 --> 00:08:12,984
Oh! Fishing!
211
00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:14,048
That was fun.
212
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:17,022
- Yes, that was fun.
- I enjoyed myself also.
213
00:08:17,024 --> 00:08:19,858
I, too, am enjoying myself.
214
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:21,660
Uh, this is nice.
215
00:08:21,662 --> 00:08:25,997
Yes. It feels good to be
the winner of the game...
216
00:08:25,999 --> 00:08:28,967
and, therefore, the best.
217
00:08:28,969 --> 00:08:32,865
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
218
00:08:32,890 --> 00:08:36,892
Chauncley... introduce the next game.
219
00:08:36,977 --> 00:08:38,610
Absolutely.
220
00:08:38,612 --> 00:08:39,678
Told you.
221
00:08:41,848 --> 00:08:45,008
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
222
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:47,135
- Stew's almost ready.
- [MUMBLES]
223
00:08:47,955 --> 00:08:50,114
Hey! She lives.
224
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:51,179
[LAUGHS]
225
00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:52,912
- Hey, Bert.
- Hey.
226
00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:56,294
Oh, you work in the
sludge-mining industry, right?
227
00:08:56,296 --> 00:08:58,705
That's right. Local 13.
228
00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:01,004
Right. You know, I heard
229
00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:04,002
an interesting little factoid
the other day.
230
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:06,304
Did you know
that King Cragnoor doesn't use
231
00:09:06,306 --> 00:09:08,220
locally mined sludge in his castle moat?
232
00:09:08,222 --> 00:09:09,474
That's fake.
233
00:09:09,476 --> 00:09:10,496
What?
234
00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:13,117
People like you just believe the lies
235
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:16,535
that the town crier is trying
to shove down your mutton-hole.
236
00:09:16,537 --> 00:09:17,729
Don't fall for it.
237
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:21,168
King Cragnoor is the best thing
that ever happened to Murkford.
238
00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:22,826
- Amen, brother.
- Amen.
239
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:24,784
Mikey, what the hell?
You're on Uncle Bert's side?
240
00:09:24,938 --> 00:09:27,505
Sorry, Al.
He's a lot louder than you are.
241
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,063
[LAUGHS]
242
00:09:29,088 --> 00:09:30,755
- Pow!
- Bert alert!
243
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:32,246
[BOTH LAUGH]
244
00:09:32,299 --> 00:09:36,334
- A, uh, uh, uh, gauntlet.
- [SIGHS]
245
00:09:36,336 --> 00:09:38,570
Um... a castle keep.
246
00:09:38,572 --> 00:09:39,545
No.
247
00:09:39,547 --> 00:09:42,240
Um, a-a-Um, a map.
248
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:43,908
Is it a cloud? I don't know.
249
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:45,443
It doesn't look like anything.
250
00:09:45,445 --> 00:09:47,545
- Time's up.
- 'Twas an eagle.
251
00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:48,546
What?!
252
00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:51,116
One wing, other wing, the tail.
253
00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:52,655
Have you ever even seen an eagle?!
254
00:09:52,657 --> 00:09:54,867
You are the one
who has not seen an eagle.
255
00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:57,689
You do not know what I have seen.
256
00:09:57,691 --> 00:09:59,327
Prince, things are getting too heated.
257
00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:01,419
Let's just serve dinner and get
these maniacs out of here.
258
00:10:01,444 --> 00:10:02,457
No, no, no. Everything's fine.
259
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:03,938
I'll just calm things down
with a-a lighter game.
260
00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,696
Hey, gang, why don't we play
something else?
261
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:08,316
So, this next game is called
"Never Have I Ever."
262
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,541
I say something that I've never done,
263
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:11,999
and if you have done that thing,
264
00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:13,757
then you get to take a little drink.
265
00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:17,083
Okay. I've got one.
266
00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:21,079
Never have I ever brought shame
upon my kingdom
267
00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:25,316
due to my own incompetence and cowardice.
268
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:27,108
Was that supposed to be directed at me?
269
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,500
Well, it definitely isn't me.
270
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,663
[GROANS]
271
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:35,593
Maybe it was directed at all of you.
272
00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:36,897
Guys, we don't even have to play a game.
273
00:10:36,922 --> 00:10:38,023
We can just have
a lovely dinner together.
274
00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:40,413
Never have I ever been closer
275
00:10:40,438 --> 00:10:42,938
to pulling my sword on my own kin!
276
00:10:42,963 --> 00:10:45,464
- Nor have I.
- Nor have I.
277
00:10:45,639 --> 00:10:47,539
Nor I.
278
00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:51,042
[CHOIR SINGING, SWORDS CLANG]
279
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:52,177
Okay.
280
00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:55,246
To vengeance!
281
00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:57,282
[SHOUTING]
282
00:10:57,284 --> 00:11:00,852
[SINGING AND CLANGING CONTINUE]
283
00:11:00,854 --> 00:11:02,153
[EXPLOSION]
284
00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:04,923
[GAMILLAGOOR SCREAMING]
285
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:07,225
[SWORDS CLANKING]
286
00:11:07,227 --> 00:11:10,395
[MORGDON SCREAMS]
287
00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:15,420
It is done!
288
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:18,413
I have slain my siblings!
289
00:11:18,438 --> 00:11:21,672
Family is nothing!
290
00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:24,164
Happy Harvest Day!
291
00:11:24,189 --> 00:11:27,291
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
292
00:11:35,789 --> 00:11:37,755
Now, that was fun!
293
00:11:37,757 --> 00:11:39,866
No, you can't possibly deny that
294
00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,891
ever since King Cragnoor took over,
295
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:44,692
poverty has been at an all-time
high in Lower Murkford.
296
00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:46,831
Because your generation just
doesn't want to work hard.
297
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:47,932
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
298
00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:49,634
Hey, this stew's just about ready.
299
00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:51,703
I can... I can smell the bones
getting soft.
300
00:11:51,705 --> 00:11:53,362
If you're looking to change
your lot in life,
301
00:11:53,387 --> 00:11:55,854
all you got to do is pull
yourself up by your bootstraps.
302
00:11:55,879 --> 00:11:57,178
That's how Cragnoor did it.
303
00:11:57,203 --> 00:11:59,070
Cragnoor was born into royalty.
304
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,294
You're being stupid.
305
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,119
Careful, Al. You might hurt my feelings.
306
00:12:02,144 --> 00:12:03,176
[CRIES MOCKINGLY, LAUGHS]
307
00:12:03,201 --> 00:12:05,034
Oh, my God!
308
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,384
You're impossible!
309
00:12:06,386 --> 00:12:07,972
This stew is really good.
310
00:12:07,974 --> 00:12:10,371
Al, you're the one who brought
all this stuff up.
311
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,030
I-I don't see why you have to
get so emotional.
312
00:12:13,055 --> 00:12:14,821
- Emotional?
- [LAUGHING] Yeah.
313
00:12:14,846 --> 00:12:17,080
Emotional?! Well,
you know what, Uncle Bert?!
314
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:18,704
I bet you were pretty emotional
315
00:12:18,729 --> 00:12:21,564
when your wife left you
for the town baker!
316
00:12:21,635 --> 00:12:25,136
[LAUGHS] Pow! Al alert, bitch!
317
00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:35,146
[FIRE CRACKLING]
318
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,483
It's true.
319
00:12:41,154 --> 00:12:43,288
Boys, um...
320
00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:46,224
I know I told you that your mom was away
321
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:49,117
on a long business trip, but, um...
322
00:12:49,142 --> 00:12:50,545
I, uh...
323
00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:56,788
I lied because I was too embarrassed
324
00:12:56,813 --> 00:12:59,013
to tell you the truth.
325
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,765
Your mother left me because I...
326
00:13:03,844 --> 00:13:06,178
I wasn't able to...
327
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,536
please her, sexually.
328
00:13:08,648 --> 00:13:12,750
So she ran off with the town baker
329
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:18,289
because he was better at
having sex with her than I was.
330
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:21,226
[FIRE CRACKLING]
331
00:13:24,758 --> 00:13:25,955
Pow.
332
00:13:27,234 --> 00:13:28,333
Sad alert.
333
00:13:28,922 --> 00:13:30,588
[GRUNTS]
334
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:31,946
Bert...
335
00:13:32,172 --> 00:13:34,139
- she didn't mean to...
- Bert...
336
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:37,932
I think it's time that we got going here.
337
00:13:37,957 --> 00:13:41,091
I was gonna give you this
after dinner, but, um...
338
00:13:41,147 --> 00:13:43,815
[SCOFFS]...here.
339
00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:46,918
Your dad said you like books.
340
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,754
I don't know what they are or anything,
341
00:13:49,756 --> 00:13:51,756
but, uh, the lady at the shop...
342
00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:54,092
she said that you'd like that one, so...
343
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:59,364
Come on, boys. Let's go home
to our studio apartment.
344
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,203
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
345
00:14:05,205 --> 00:14:07,138
I'm sorry, Dad.
346
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,774
Oh, it's... it's okay.
347
00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:14,646
I mean, uh, I guess, well,
you know, you tried your best.
348
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:19,083
Yeah, so, the stew's ready.
You two should, uh...
349
00:14:19,085 --> 00:14:21,619
I'm just gonna go to bed.
350
00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,362
Uncle Bert?
351
00:14:40,261 --> 00:14:42,295
Uncle Bert.
352
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:44,864
[CRYING]
353
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:46,999
Your dad is no good, boys.
354
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:49,468
He belongs in the mud.
355
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,936
[SOBBING]
356
00:14:50,938 --> 00:14:52,838
Hey, Uncle Bert.
357
00:14:55,009 --> 00:14:56,409
Hey.
358
00:14:56,411 --> 00:15:00,112
Listen, I'm sorry for what
I said back at the house.
359
00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:03,011
That was a cheap shot.
360
00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:06,719
But, yeah, I...
361
00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:08,387
Yeah, I guess I had it coming.
362
00:15:08,389 --> 00:15:09,459
I...
363
00:15:09,461 --> 00:15:13,225
I shouldn't have been pushing
your buttons like that.
364
00:15:14,776 --> 00:15:16,879
I know we don't see
eye-to-eye on everything,
365
00:15:16,904 --> 00:15:19,999
but how about we just put that aside,
366
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:21,821
at least for the rest of tonight?
367
00:15:22,509 --> 00:15:24,009
What do you say?
368
00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,800
Truce?
369
00:15:27,141 --> 00:15:28,908
Truce.
370
00:15:29,871 --> 00:15:31,371
[GRUNTS]
371
00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:34,130
Okay. Come on, boys.
372
00:15:34,155 --> 00:15:37,490
[MUD SLOSHES]
373
00:15:37,515 --> 00:15:41,517
♪
374
00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:44,342
Hey, buddy!
375
00:15:44,525 --> 00:15:46,258
How you doing?
376
00:15:47,161 --> 00:15:51,364
I just wanted one normal holiday
with my family.
377
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:55,368
And, instead, I have turned this
into the worst Harvest Day ever.
378
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:59,638
No. I mean, technically,
the first Harvest Day was worse,
379
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,440
in terms of death count.
380
00:16:01,442 --> 00:16:05,090
Hey, what do you say we eat
those dead people's desserts?
381
00:16:05,092 --> 00:16:06,612
No. Thank you.
382
00:16:06,614 --> 00:16:09,482
I think I just need to get out
of the castle for a bit.
383
00:16:23,231 --> 00:16:25,531
[SIGHS]
384
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:29,068
Hey, great stew, Dad.
385
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,306
Oh.
386
00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:32,672
Yeah, thanks.
387
00:16:36,544 --> 00:16:41,147
So, anyone got
any big plans for the year?
388
00:16:41,149 --> 00:16:42,915
Nope.
389
00:16:50,158 --> 00:16:54,093
Hey, Uncle Bert, what was that one story
390
00:16:54,095 --> 00:16:57,630
about you and Dad and the wolf?
391
00:16:58,126 --> 00:16:59,132
Oh.
392
00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:02,501
[LAUGHS] Why, that is a crazy story.
393
00:17:02,503 --> 00:17:04,737
- Yeah.
- So, yeah, yeah, one night,
394
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:06,739
um, me and your old man here,
395
00:17:06,741 --> 00:17:10,709
we, uh... we accidentally left
the door to the house open
396
00:17:10,711 --> 00:17:11,811
when we went to bed.
397
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,479
[LAUGHS] Big mistake.
398
00:17:13,481 --> 00:17:15,948
And, uh, guess what
showed up in the kitchen
399
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,616
in the middle of the night!
400
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,147
What?
401
00:17:19,854 --> 00:17:21,320
- A wolf!
- A wolf!
402
00:17:21,322 --> 00:17:23,002
[LAUGHTER]
403
00:17:23,004 --> 00:17:23,913
No way!
404
00:17:23,915 --> 00:17:24,886
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
405
00:17:24,888 --> 00:17:26,388
Then our old man gets on our case
406
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,021
- for leaving the door open.
- Oh, God.
407
00:17:28,023 --> 00:17:30,025
He gives us this big ax and he says,
408
00:17:30,027 --> 00:17:32,832
"Now get out there in the forest
and don't come back
409
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,835
until you kill that damn wolf."
410
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,236
[BOTH LAUGH]
411
00:17:37,238 --> 00:17:38,938
Aw, nuts!
412
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:41,073
Just when the night was getting started.
413
00:17:41,075 --> 00:17:43,479
I'll do a liquor run.
You guys keep talking.
414
00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:45,311
- Oh, thanks, honey.
- Aww!
415
00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:47,513
We were just 4 and 5 years old.
416
00:17:47,515 --> 00:17:48,960
- [LAUGHS]
- Never killed before.
417
00:17:48,962 --> 00:17:50,365
We're out there for days.
418
00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:54,587
We get captured by a band of Visigoths.
419
00:17:54,589 --> 00:17:57,156
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
420
00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,693
- I love you, Daddy.
- I love you, too, sweetie.
421
00:17:59,718 --> 00:18:01,117
- Happy Harvest Day.
422
00:18:03,764 --> 00:18:05,865
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
423
00:18:08,603 --> 00:18:09,802
Oh!
424
00:18:09,804 --> 00:18:11,170
Chauncley, hey.
425
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:12,183
What are you doing in town?
426
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,675
Hey, Al. I-I was just
going for a little walk.
427
00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:16,262
How's your Harvest Day going?
428
00:18:16,358 --> 00:18:19,793
It's... actually
starting to be kind of fun.
429
00:18:19,818 --> 00:18:21,451
How about you?
430
00:18:21,616 --> 00:18:24,587
My dad just killed all of my
relatives in front of me, so...
431
00:18:24,785 --> 00:18:26,719
Holy shit.
432
00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:27,940
Are you okay?
433
00:18:28,069 --> 00:18:29,175
Yes. No, I'm fine.
434
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:31,123
Yeah, don't worry about me.
435
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:33,792
Well, I will let you get
back to the festivities.
436
00:18:33,794 --> 00:18:36,061
Mm. Happy Harvest Day.
437
00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,725
Wait. Uh...
438
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:40,720
- do you want to come over?
- R-really?
439
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,079
I mean, it's... it's pretty low-key.
440
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:44,671
We're just sitting around,
talking, and playing games.
441
00:18:45,072 --> 00:18:46,417
You're playing games?
442
00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:47,675
You in?
443
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:48,904
Yes, I'm in.
444
00:18:48,929 --> 00:18:50,695
Great.
445
00:18:52,313 --> 00:18:54,675
Oh, you have
a little blood in your hair.
446
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,567
Oh. Sorry. I thought I got it all off.
447
00:18:56,592 --> 00:18:59,426
My dad is not what you'd call
a gentle murderer.
448
00:18:59,451 --> 00:19:02,018
- Ah. Yeah, he sucks.
- Mm-hmm.
449
00:19:02,043 --> 00:19:04,477
But do me a favor...
when we get to the house,
450
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:05,868
no talking about politics.
451
00:19:05,893 --> 00:19:07,393
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Fine with me.
452
00:19:07,418 --> 00:19:08,550
Cool. Thanks, dude.
453
00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:11,342
- [CHICKENS CLUCKING]
- These ugly ducks.
454
00:19:12,355 --> 00:19:13,921
[EXHALING SHARPLY]
455
00:19:13,923 --> 00:19:15,690
Blowing the bugs off your pillow?
456
00:19:15,692 --> 00:19:17,859
[EXHALING SHARPLY]
457
00:19:17,861 --> 00:19:19,594
Having a heatstroke at work.
458
00:19:19,596 --> 00:19:22,194
- [EXHALING SHARPLY]
- Reviving a dying friend.
459
00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:23,814
- Time!
- [GROANS]
460
00:19:23,816 --> 00:19:26,634
I was blowing on a hot goose-egg
omelet before your midday feast.
461
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,403
- Oh!
- [GROANS]
462
00:19:28,405 --> 00:19:30,338
- So close.
- Hard one.
463
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:31,631
You did well, though.
464
00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:34,842
Alright, well, how much
do I owe you for losing?
465
00:19:34,844 --> 00:19:36,926
Uh, no, you don't have to pay me.
466
00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:38,025
It's just a game.
467
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:39,347
Alright! Money in the bank!
468
00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:40,415
Wow!
469
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:41,949
[LAUGHTER]
470
00:19:41,951 --> 00:19:46,888
Okay, my turn, my turn.
Danh, danh, danh-danh-da.
471
00:19:47,461 --> 00:19:49,175
Oh, I don't know how to read.
472
00:19:49,177 --> 00:19:51,025
Um, so I'm gonna pretend to be a dog.
473
00:19:51,027 --> 00:19:52,560
♪
474
00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:54,395
Roooo!
475
00:19:54,397 --> 00:19:56,264
[BARKS]
476
00:19:56,266 --> 00:19:59,534
[BARKS]
477
00:19:59,536 --> 00:20:02,737
♪
32808
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