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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:18,879 I am a gear in the wheel of the clock. I fear not my mortality. 3 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,597 Approach us. 4 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,871 Everything to your liking, my lords? 5 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:43,205 Are you aware of the fate of our last restaurant helicopter chef? 6 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:46,269 - His face was... - His face was smashed! 7 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,142 Yes, I know. 8 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:50,911 He slipped his hand and face on the hovercraft. 9 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,679 Hovercraft. 10 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,084 - Hov... - Homo... 11 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,849 - Hovercraft. - Hold me. 12 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,981 Hovercraft. 13 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,285 Hovercraft. 14 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,521 They're trying to tell you the guy got his face smashed into a hovercraft. 15 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,755 That's what they're trying to tell you. 16 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,163 - Yes, I know. - And then, from the sorrow... 17 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,168 - He blow his brain in. - He blow his brain out. 18 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,499 - Whatever. - Out. 19 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,799 It'd make a great album cover. 20 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:15,968 Yeah, all of our chefs, they has died a horrible death. 21 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,273 What of that's do you think? 22 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:21,041 I would rather have my brains scooped out... 23 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,413 with a melon baller than to miss the opportunity... 24 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:27,648 to deliver the various cheese snacks to my beloved Dethklok. 25 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:35,287 Sorry, we are chewing through a few thousand doves up here. 26 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:38,627 Don't worry, these rotors will grind them into paste in no time. 27 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,896 From the prime minister of Norway. 28 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,926 There are several cases. The finest wine. 29 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:48,998 No! we never drink before a show. Never! 30 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,534 - I'll have just a little drink. - Me, too. 31 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,410 - But... - Me, too. 32 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,038 Me, too. 33 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,347 ## Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ## 34 00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,945 ## Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ## 35 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,353 ## Do anything for Dethklok ## 36 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,983 ## Dethklok, Dethklok Dethklok, Dethklok ## 37 00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,425 ## I'll teach you ## 38 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,055 ## Who rock ## 39 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,496 ## Dethklok! Dethklok! ## 40 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,296 ## Skwisgaar Skwigelf Taller than a tree ## 41 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,428 ## Toki Wartooth Not a bumble bee ## 42 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,268 ## William Murderface Murderface, Murderface ## 43 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,796 ## Pickles the Drummer Doodily doo ## 44 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:22,967 ## Ding-dong Doodily doodily doo ## 45 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,533 ## Nathan Explosion ## 46 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,640 Live from Batsfjord, Norway... 47 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,710 where over 300,000 fans have travelled to the Arctic Circle... 48 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:38,918 to see the legendary metal band, Dethklok, perform just one song. 49 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:42,792 Surprisingly the song itself is a jingle. A coffee jingle. 50 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,993 Never before have so many people travelled so far for such a short song. 51 00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:51,527 A jingle for international coffee moguls, the Duncan Hills Coffee corporation. 52 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,039 Is Dethklok selling out? "No!" 53 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:57,270 says band front man, Nathan Explosion. 54 00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:02,213 We're here to make coffee metal. We will make everything metal. 55 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,945 Blacker than the blackest black times infinity. 56 00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,816 They're called pain waivers. 57 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,913 Fans are literally signing their life away... 58 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:13,153 releasing Dethklok from any and all liability. 59 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,627 My eye got tore out and force fed to me at a show. 60 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:16,890 Dethklok rules! 61 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,263 In London, some dude chopped off my fingers and threw 'em up onstage. 62 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,461 Murderface rolled them up and smoked them! 63 00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:23,628 Murderface! 64 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,572 Dark clouds have rolled in and static electricity is in the air. 65 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:30,235 Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! 66 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,143 It's Dethklok! It's Dethklok! 67 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,313 Dethklok rolling. 68 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,831 ## Do you folks like coffee? ## 69 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:10,376 ## Real coffee from the hills of Columbia? ## 70 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,413 ## Duncan Hills will wake you ## 71 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,889 ## From a thousand deaths ## 72 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,358 ## A cup of blackened blood ## 73 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,418 ## You're dying for a cup ## 74 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,430 ## Guatemalan blend ## 75 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,091 ## Ethiopian ## 76 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,396 ## French Vanilla Roast ## 77 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,799 ## You're dying for a cup ## 78 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:36,375 ## Prepare for ultimate flavor ## 79 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,139 ## You're gonna get some now ## 80 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:46,145 ## And scream for your cream ## 81 00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:07,762 ## Duncan Hills, Duncan Hills Duncan Hills coffee ## 82 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:17,279 As you can see, Dethklok is no laughing matter. 83 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,013 They're the world's greatest cultural force. 84 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:24,353 In the short time since the Duncan Hills coffee jingle Batsfjord Massacre Fest... 85 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,483 every other coffee company has been obliterated. 86 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,360 - Completely blown out of the water. - Freaks. 87 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:34,662 These freaks, as you call them, are currently worth billions. 88 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,191 Gentlemen... 89 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:39,568 Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree. 90 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:43,803 Toki Wartooth, not a bumble bee. 91 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:48,303 William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface. 92 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,409 Pickles the Drummer, doodily doo. 93 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:57,321 Ding-dong, doodily doodily doo. 94 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,552 Nathan Explosion. 95 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,753 I'm afraid that's all we know, gentlemen. 96 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:05,491 I will remind you again of the Sumerian artifacts. 97 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,329 The resemblance is indisputable. 98 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:12,134 If they're the ones we think they are we should exterminate them immediately. 99 00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,901 No... 100 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,501 We wait. 101 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,516 Well, I don't think all of our employees are cursed. 102 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,747 The chefs. The chefs. 103 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,382 Oh, the chefs are cursed, yeah. Yeah. 104 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,585 Actually he's stills alives. 105 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,151 Yeah. 106 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,891 Well, I mean he'll be dead soon. 107 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,866 - That's what I meant to say. - Oh, come on. 108 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,300 He could probably heard that. 109 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,031 Oh, wait, no, he can't 'cause he ain't got no ears. 110 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:49,405 Hold on. It says here that keeping this guy alive is costing us $10,000 a day. 111 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,935 Well, here's an idea. 112 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,472 Why don't we yankee doodle dandy, you know pull the plug. 113 00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,883 - Kill him. - Let's just fire him. Look at him. 114 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,079 He's all lazy, just sitting there. 115 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,112 He ain't cooked a damn thing all day long. Let's face it, he's bringing me down. 116 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,852 What is wrong with this dumb dildo? 117 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:09,623 They give us all the free coffee in the world but no instructions on how to cook it. 118 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:15,925 I might need to take five, six personal days for all this griefs gonna have to be. 119 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,664 Oh, here we go again! 120 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:22,504 You took two personal grieving days last week. 121 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,306 - Well, I was depressed about Coward. - You're depressed?! 122 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:27,107 - Deals with that. - You're depressed?! 123 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,582 I'm fat! I'm the fat one! 124 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,612 Yeah, I'm fat. We know that! 125 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,645 The one good thing about Jean Pierre being dead... 126 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:41,217 is maybe I won't eat so much and lose these flabby death handles. 127 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,524 - No! - No, I'm fat! 128 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:48,662 Well, I'm starting to get a hungries... 129 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,965 but it looks like we starves. 130 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:56,073 Well, great. What are we supposed to do now? 131 00:07:57,710 --> 00:08:03,444 - What's this place called? - This is, I believes, called, food libraries. 132 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,246 Food library. 133 00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:06,478 Food library. 134 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:10,478 It's called a grocery store, you douche bags! I'm sorry about douche bags. 135 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,458 - I got low blood sugar. - All right, here's the deal. 136 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,587 We have to do our own shopping so we can make our own dinner... 137 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:17,823 Iike regular jack-offs do. 138 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:21,857 You're all in charge of putting together one dish and don't just buy booze! 139 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,664 That ain't food. 140 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,694 What do you mean booze ain't food? 141 00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:29,071 I would rather chop off my dingle than admit that. 142 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,837 You would rather chop off your ding-dong than not drink? 143 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:50,585 - Hey, Grandma, is there olives in it? - In what? 144 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:54,464 Lemon tart, wrinkled tits, geezy! 145 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,526 Good, then it's pee pee time. 146 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,602 Hey, chief, is this stuff good for soup? 147 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,512 - No. - That's a yes. 148 00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:13,416 - Who is Walnuts? - Toki, look inside of your basket. 149 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:18,014 Guess what, you're in such a crappy mood, you have ladies' tampons... 150 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,082 inside of it and you buy them for yourself. 151 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,993 Go and have a conversation with older ladies and tell them your problems. 152 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,758 - You're lady, Swissgar. - No, I'm not! 153 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,890 Two cups of rice. 154 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,599 Brutal. 155 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:36,597 OK, hold on, so you're telling me that you put these little guys in boiling water... 156 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:39,338 and they shriek and they turn red and they die? 157 00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,367 Yes, sir. 158 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,814 That is the most metal thing I ever heard in my whole life. 159 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:44,838 High-five. 160 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,819 Price check! Clean up aisle six! 161 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:51,516 - Rotted body landslide. - Oh, that's great. 162 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:56,221 And don't forget our special sale on every bone broken chicken. 163 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,287 - Hurry! - You get them, Nathan. 164 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:02,028 Enjoy our tasty half-snot face. Aisle three. 165 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,933 I loves to laugh. 166 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:04,959 - Hi. - Hi. 167 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,199 Guess what? You are a GMLlF. 168 00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,036 That is a grandmother that I would like to.... 169 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,539 See, I told you guys, we don't need ol' chef. 170 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,879 Put in the ingredients into that thing there. 171 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,614 Oh, no, we leaves all the food at that food place. 172 00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,451 What?! 173 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,822 Jean Pierre! Jean Pierre, cook something! 174 00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:33,195 Come on, don't be a dick, be a dude. 175 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,722 - Yeah. Come on! - Don't be a dick. 176 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,234 - Come on. - Make us something! 177 00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:37,997 - Just do it. - We can't hear you. 178 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,005 - Do it. We can't hear you. - Do it! Do it! 179 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,064 It's over. 180 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,941 By the power of all that's evil... 181 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:49,914 I command you to awaken and make me a sandwich! 182 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,417 There is only one thing left to do. 183 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,009 Kill ourselves. 184 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,079 Dudes, we would have to sew him back together to get him to cook for us. 185 00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:01,753 Yeah, but we such screw ups that he would be sewn back together wrong. 186 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,557 That's a good song title. 187 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,531 ## Sewn back together wrong ## 188 00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:11,161 ## Back together Sewn back together wrong ## 189 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:15,833 ## Back together Sewn back together wrong ## 190 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:20,005 ## Back together, Sewn back together wrong ## 191 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:23,209 ## Back together sewn ## 192 00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:30,902 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 15297

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