Original subtitles

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(theme song playing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(screaming, cheering)

(cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Both: Just Roll With It! Just Roll With It!

(bell ringing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ ♪

(all cheering)

Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(cheering)

The only show where you, the audience,

get to vote on what happens to us in‐scene!

(cheering)

That's right! When you hear‐‐

Uh, uh, what are you doing?

This show is killing me!

All my clothes are constantly covered in goo,

so I'm always doing laundry!

Well, this week, I'm making them do it for me!

(cheering)

‐Whoa! ‐(laughing)

Well, when you hear this sound...

(foghorn blares)

You get to vote,

our clothes will probably get ruined,

and we'll have to...

All: Just Roll With It!

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Hey, Blair, can I get your advice on something?

Ugh, I guess.

It's about the big school dance that's coming up.

There's a girl I wanna ask to it.

(gasps) No way!

You have a crush? Who is it?

Well, I don't really wanna say.

Oh. I know why you don't wanna tell me.

It's one of them weird kids, ain't it?

Is it Frannie Kruntzill?

‐No. ‐Linda Matushafardi?

‐No! ‐Hey, what's going on?

Owen has a crush on someone!

Ooh! Is it Poots Callahan?

No, it's not her, and you know

that's not Lucy's real name.

I'm just... really nervous about how to ask this person.

I mean, what if she doesn't like me?

‐(foghorn blares) ‐(cheering)

♪ ♪

Announcer: Okay, audience!

What will Owen's life be like

if his crush doesn't like him?

Uh, Ramon's in this one

and Tobie's also in this one.

I'm not in the scene!

Man: The first thing is Owen is gonna read from a cue card.

Announcer: Votes are in! Now, back to the scene!

‐Director: Action! ‐I mean,

what if she doesn't like me?

I'll feel like a total loser for the rest of my life.

And when I grow up,

I'll only be able to get a job as a stylist

for the Pi‐‐ Pig Prom.

‐(bell ringing) ‐I can see it now.

(laughter)

Owen: Weirdly,

I'll look a lot like my dad.

Then, I'll meet my boss.

Owen/Ruth/Blair: Oh!

Owen: And he'll tell me,

"Start pig washing!"

(shocked laughter)

(screaming)

(laughing)

Blair: Aww!

Owen: I might even have to sniff the pig

to see how smelly he is.

(sniffing)

(laughter)

Maybe to keep myself entertained,

I'll make up a song about the pig.

It will go something like this...

♪ Dirty little pig ♪

(laughing)

♪ Dirty little pig ♪

♪ Gonna wash that pig ♪

♪ Dirty little pig ♪

♪ Gotta wash the pig ♪

(laughter)

Now that the pig is all clean,

I'll say, "Let's get this pig dressed for prom."

(laughter)

Audience: Aww!

(applause)

Owen/Ruth/Blair: Oh!

Owen: I have to be very careful

because I think that pig bit a dude in rehearsal.

(laughter)

Once she's dressed,

I'd give her a big wet kiss on her forehead

to make her feel special.

Come here! I'm gonna kiss ya!

(laughter)

(laughter)

(applause, cheering)

♪ ♪

‐(snaps) ‐Owen, snap out of it!

You're over‐thinking things.

If you wanna take this girl to the dance,

you should just ask her out.

Don't listen to her. She's a lunatic.

If you wanna get a girl to like you, you have to show her

that you're not interested in her at all.

Ask some different girl to the dance.

Make her jealous.

Get inside her head.

Then, wouldn't I just end up going to the dance

with someone I don't actually want to go with?

Exactly! You play the long game.

Then, when she comes crawling back, you say,

"Too little too late, sweetheart.

Now, hit the bricks!"

Then, you peel out of her driveway,

spin some brodies on her front lawn,

and block her phone number.

Byron: That's the end of our show.

I'm Byron Blatt. Me and the Gator will catch you tomorrow!

Thanks for listening.

♪ Byron and Gator in the morning ♪

Hey, Byron, can I borrow your kids on Saturday night?

We'll probably be out late, but I can get 'em back by,

‐like, 1:00 a. m.? ‐Sure thing.

(clears throat) Byron,

do you wanna maybe ask why Gator

needs to borrow our children until 1:00 a. m.?

Oh, right.

Why do you need to borrow our children till 1:00 a. m.?

Well, my high school reunion's this weekend,

and for years, I've been lying on social media,

telling my classmates I'm fabulously wealthy,

have a beautiful wife, two loving children,

and long, glorious locks like a Greek god.

And since only one of those things is true...

I need to pretend your kids are mine,

so I can keep the lie going.

Okay, cool. Yeah, sure thing.

Byron, I'm not sure I'm on board with this idea.

Please, can we go, Mom?

‐Please! ‐That sounds so cool!

We'll be like secret agents, but instead of saving the world,

we'll just be helping our dad's weird friend lie!

That's the spirit!

I know I'm not biologically related to any of you,

but can I still be involved in your family's big lying scheme?

No. None of you are going.

I don't want Gator teaching you kids that it's okay to lie.

Rach...

You know, since Blair has a knack for fudging the truth,

it might be nice to have her use her powers for good

and help a friend out.

Uh, I don't like this,

and if I say yes, there are gonna be

some very strict rules.

Of course, anything! You name it!

I'll even stop stealing office supplies!

Okay‐‐ Wait, you've been stealing office supplies?

Don't get distracted. You were about to say yes.

If we let our kids pretend to be your children,

it's just so that you can enjoy your reunion.

But as soon as that's done, you have to stop

posting lies on social media.

For the sake of getting what I want, I'm gonna say deal.

This is so awesome!

This is the best thing that's ever happened!

This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard of.

You have your kids.

Where are you gonna tell everyone your wife is?

Well, Rachel,

what are you doing on Saturday night?

(laughter)

Sorry.

♪ ♪

(cheering)

♪ ♪

(dance music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

Gator, I feel like an idiot!

Why do I have to wear an eye patch?

Because you're a famous Hollywood stuntwoman

named Risky B!

And you injured your eye while shooting a baked beans commercial.

Do I have to wear these clothes?

They're so itchy!

Yes! You're a child super genius,

who graduated from Oxford at the age of 10,

and now, you work as an astrophysicist at NASA!

And that's how they dress!

Now, does everyone else remember their characters?

Yes. I am a child psychic

who can communicate with the spirit world.

And... the FBI uses you

to help them solve crimes!

Ruth, what are you supposed to be anyway?

‐I'm Blair's‐‐ What? ‐(foghorn blares)

‐Owen: Oh! ‐(laughter)

Announcer: All right, audience,

what Ruth's character be?

Candace, you have to be separate from everybody,

and you have a totally different entrance.

So, we're gonna take you somewhere else.

‐Suzi: Oh! ‐Fun!

Announcer: Okay, audience.

You voted to make up a new character!

Now, you get to vote on a series of words.

Pick one from this group.

Now, pick one from this second group.

♪ ♪

And lastly, pick one from this third group,

and we'll use the words you choose

to create Ruth's character.

‐(bell ringing) ‐Okay, that's it! Votes are in.

‐Let's go back to the scene. ‐(cheering)

‐Director: Action! ‐Ruth,

what are you supposed to be anyway?

(dance music playing)

(laughter)

(cheering)

My name is Sheriff Pepperoni,

and I am the world's most famous,

wacky, two‐headed pizza cowgirl

because there was a tie between pizza and cowgirl.

‐(bell ringing) ‐(cheering)

(laughter)

Oh, and by the way,

this is my deputy, Olive.

Oh, she looks wide awake.

(giggles)

Olive, are you being held here against your will?

Owen (laughing): Yeah, yeah.

Can you blink if you're safe?

(laughter)

Gator, who's gonna believe this character anyway?

Don't look at me! I didn't mention

a third kid on my social media posts!

Ruth got to make up her own backstory!

Alligator Shifflett as I live and breathe!

I didn't think you were gonna show up!

You know, I tried to send him an invitation,

but the last address that I could find

was to a boat in front of his mother's house!

(laughter)

Oh, that is not‐‐ That's not the right one!

Well, I am Brent Goodheart,

and this is my better half, Brandi.

And you must be Gator's family

that he talks about all the time,

but never posts any pictures of for some reason.

(chuckles) You know, you all seemed

so perfect that Brandi and I always joked

that you probably weren't real!

(laughter)

(sighing)

‐That was a little weird. ‐Yeah.

Now, Risky B,

Gator has written so much about your amazing,

adventurous lives together that I have to ask,

may I see whatever it is you got going on under that thing?

'Cause I have always been curious what it looks like

when someone messes up one of their eyeballs.

Actually, I think it's rude

‐to ask that. ‐Brent: Is it?

Okay! Well, I apologize. I'm sorry.

We were actually debating if it was rude on the way over here,

and I said that it probably was,

and then Brandi said that it probably wasn't, so...

I thought you'd probably like to talk about it.

‐Nope, it's rude! ‐Okay, all right!

‐Well, apologies again. ‐(chuckles)

And I think that we are just gonna mosey on over

to the refreshments table 'cause I think

I see some chocolate over there,

and I like to refer to myself as a chocoholic.

(laughter)

Don't you steal that joke from me!

Gator, this is never gonna work!

What are you talking about? It's already working!

People think I'm rich and loved,

and you and Brandi are basically best friends!

I'm starting to agree with Rachel.

What if someone asks me to predict their future

or something, and I can't do it?

Or even worse, what if I can do it?

Then I have to spend the rest of my life in strip malls

reading sweaty people's palms for 20 bucks a pop!

That's not the life I want for myself!

I'd much rather do that

than be dressed in stupid wool all night.

I feel like I'm inside a puppet's butt!

Let's trade characters.

‐No, you can't trade characters. ‐No one will notice.

You're a girl, he's a boy!

‐Then, Ruth and I can trade. ‐I like my character.

Nobody's trading!

This is not as fun as I thought it was going to be.

I just feel bad for leaving Byron at home.

Poor guy is probably bored out of his mind.

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ I can do whatever I want ♪

♪ Because the Gator took my family away‐ay‐ay‐ay ♪

♪ I can do whatever I want ♪

♪ Because today is the greatest day‐ay‐ay‐ay ♪

♪ I can make ice cream soup ♪

♪ Because my family's gone for real‐eal‐eal‐eal!

♪ I can pour it in my bowl ♪

♪ And make popcorn ice cream cereal‐eal‐eal‐eal ♪

♪ Do whatever I want ♪

(mumbling)

♪ ♪

(in dramatic voice): I'm getting a sense

that your grandfather

watched TV sometimes?

(gasps)

All the time!

(gasps)

My hands are literally shaking!

(gasps) That is amazing!

Do you know how he's doing in the afterlife?

Uh... (clears throat)

He's...

hanging out with your grandmother,

and having a real good time!

But, um, my grandmother is still alive.

(in normal voice): Uh‐oh.

Who is Poppy up there cavorting with?

(gasps) Is it Meredith, from the post office?

I never trusted

that stamp‐selling Jezebel!

(sobs)

Gammy! Bad news!

(crying)

I got a question for Owen the psychic.

Who's your crush?

Is it one of those girls from your animes?

No, Blair. It's a lady.

A real‐life, 3‐D, human lady.

Gator?

Krystal!

‐(laughing): Hi! ‐Hi!

(laughter)

It is so good to see you!

It has been so long.

You know, I sent you a couple messages,

but I never heard anything back,

‐so I‐‐ ‐This is my wife, Risky B!

She's a famous Hollywood stuntwoman!

And she's also the...

touring bassist for the band Imagine Dragons.

I am?

‐You are? ‐(Rachel laughs)

I love Imagine Dragons!

I have so many questions for you.

So, Gator, how have you been?

I‐‐ I got‐‐ I got...

I gotta... I gotta go. I gotta go! I gotta go!

Gator?

Uh, I'll got check on Gator. I mean, my dad.

(in dramatic voice): I can sense psychically

that he wants to talk to me!

‐I've always been fascinated with stunt people. ‐Ha, ha...

Would you, like, hurt yourself for us?

♪ ♪

(cheering)

♪ ♪

Hey, Gator. You okay?

(sighs) It's Krystal.

She was the love of my life and she broke up with me.

Never really got over her.

I'm sorry, Gator.

How long did you two date?

Five years... in my mind.

In your mind?

How many years in real life?

Oh, none.

I could never really work up the courage to ask her out.

I almost asked her to a dance once,

but my friend told me to ask someone else

to make her jealous, but...

that turned out to be some pretty terrible advice.

I knew it!

Krystal's the reason I keep making up

all these ridiculous stories on my social media.

I guess after all these years,

I'm still trying to impress her.

Man: Uh, are you guys gonna be here a while?

I can't go if there's someone else in the room.

(sighs) We'll be done in a minute.

Gator, you should just tell her how you feel.

In front of my cycloptic wife?

I feel like that would be in bad taste.

I think it's time for you to tell Krystal the truth.

You don't need a stuntwoman wife or some fancy

soothsayer son to make a girl like you.

You're a great guy with a huge heart.

And if she doesn't see that, then at least you'll know,

and won't have to spend the next 20 years

telling bizarre lies on the Internet.

That's some pretty great advice.

Should've made you the child genius.

(laughing) I'm glad you didn't.

Blair's costume seems really uncomfortable.

Crowd: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Come on! Do something dangerous for our amusement.

Okay. Okay, I can do this.

For alas! I am a famous stuntwoman,

who can do many stunts.

‐(foghorn blares) ‐(cheering, laughter)

I knew it!

Woo!

Announcer: It's the final vote.

What stunt should Rachel do?

Well, I had a feeling.

Man: We're gonna be starting the scene with a new line

that Rachel is gonna read off of a card.

Announcer: And let's go back to the scene.

Director: Action!

(chuckles) One of my favorite stunts

is a tightrope walk over goo.

‐(laughter) ‐(bell ringing)

(cheering)

Rachel: It's a good thing I brought my tightrope and pool tonight.

(laughter)

Just another day at the office for Risky B.

(circus music playing)

Yeah, this tightrope is not very tight.

‐You know? ‐(laughter)

This is very different from my high school reunion.

(laughter)

Audience: Whoa!

‐Mom, just get to the good part and fall off! ‐Rachel: Oh boy.

All: Woo!

‐Risky B! ‐(cheering)

All right!

‐(screams) ‐(cheering)

(cheering)

All: Risky B! Risky B! Risky B!

(sighs)

‐(screams) ‐(buzzer buzzes)

(laughter)

(cheering)

I had it!

(laughter)

(shrieks)

All: Risky B! Risky B!

♪ ♪

And that is how you stunt.

Attention, everyone! I have an announcement!

If Imagine Dragons is here, I am going to lose it!

I've been lying to all of you.

Great timing, Gator. You couldn't fess up

before I got gooed?

That's not my wife. That's Rachel,

‐my best friend's wife. ‐(gasps)

No, he knows. It's cool.

Also, these kids I've forced to come here with me are not mine.

(gasps)

No, it's cool. They're Rachel's.

Well, except that one.

I honestly have no idea who this kid is.

I don't understand. Where is your family?

I made them up.

I guess I was just trying to impress you, Krystal.

I've sort of had a crush on you for, like, forever, and...

(sighs) wanted you to think I was doing

real good in life and everything, but...

I'm gonna be honest from now on.

So, would you maybe wanna go

get a bite a to eat after this?

Uh, no.

That is insane. Like, truly psychotic behavior.

Brent: I knew it.

I bet you've never even met Imagine Dragons.

Come, Brandilynn.

You did the right thing, Gator.

‐I'm proud of you. ‐You okay?

Yeah. I actually am.

In a weird way, it's kind of a relief.

At least I finally asked her out.

Ruth,

I gotta tell you something.

I kinda...

sorta, maybe like you,

and I was wondering,

do you wanna go to the dance with me?

Wait, what?

What is happening?

My brain just crashed!

Whoa, Owen...

I'm so flattered.

I don't know what to say.

I like you a lot,

but as a friend.

(sighs)

And I already told Norvin Schnuckle I'd go with him.

I'm sorry.

(sighs) I appreciate you being honest with me.

So, you're not mad?

Mad? No.

Quietly humiliated and wishing

I could crawl into a rocket ship

and be launched into space where I'd then be frozen

only to be thawed out once you and everyone

who just saw this are no longer alive? Yes.

But, honestly? In a weird way,

it just feels good to get it off my chest.

I'm sure after a day or two of listening to emo, sad boy music

and journaling my buns off, I'll be back to normal.

I'm just glad it didn't take me 20 years to ask you out.

Hey, would you wanna dance right now though? As friends?

I'd like that.

(dance music playing)

Well,

wanna dance?

It's cool. Everyone knows we're not married now.

No, but we are friends.

I feel like everyone's staring at me.

They are.

‐You did a big weird thing. ‐Ah.

My stepbrother's crush...

was my best friend?

And that's our show!

You guys have been a great audience!

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ ♪

(applause, cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(cheering)

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