Original subtitles

Now me, I'm answering your questions about the hot tours around this town.

From voodoo to grande opera in the French Opera House...

Baby, we got them all.

So we'll take you to the haunts of the literazzi.

Speaking of haunts, you can visit the cities of the dead,

the above ground cemeteries native only to New Orleans.

Visit the Presbyter, on beautiful Jackson Square,

where you can see not only maps of the area from the 1500's,

but also Marie Antoinette's personal rosary.

Is money your thing? Who amongst us ain't?

You have succeeded, Captain Desiree. Tell me where I lapsed.

Was it the...

cerulean?

I checked the flight manual. It's not regulation.

There you have it.

Totally brilliant and totally buff.

What about stepping out of that silver lamé and having yourself a bona fide alien for lunch?

Sorry about that.

Quick.

- I had no choice. - I know.

- She stared right at me. - Yeah, I know.

She'd have made me in a lineup quicksville.

The fuck she have to do something weird like that?

Bad timing, that's all.

- I couldn't not clip her. - Let's go!

Is this the Valium drill or is my watch fast?

I thought you weren't smoking during the day.

- Special occasion and lay off. - What happened?

Some woman couldn't wait for the elevator. Decided to walk 10 floors.

Is she temporarily or permanently indisposed?

- Dead. - It's all right.

It's spooky, but it's all right.

- Why? What's the upshot? - Well, at least they know we're serious.

I didn't realize that was a concern.

Lizard, you are one in a dozen.

Dear Jesus: My name is Coco Chavez.

Why I choose this moment to talk to you is not important.

Life does have its moments of uncertainty.

Even schoolkids know that kidnapping's a fool's game.

But this was my idea.

Junior and I've been pulling shakedowns on and off.

Why don't we go someplace we can get some room service?

You know, I don't usually do this on company time,

but you look a lot more educational than my Management Performance Seminar.

Take a bite, cowboy.

Come on.

That's it.

God, you're something else.

That's the ticket.

Here I go!

And your wife, she wants five grand a month,

the car and the beach house, or she'll see you in court.

I strongly suggest you sign.

When I came across Career Defining Information, grifter heaven stuff.

So we roped in freelance mastermind Lizard Browning.

An odd sort of guy who drifted in and out of the scene.

Hey, look what just slid in.

- Where you been? - People keep asking me that.

- That's not an answer. - Harvard.

That's an answer. I wish I'd come up with that.

- So what have you been up to? - Killing 16 year olds for fun.

I'd thought your homicidal tendencies to be strictly profit motivated.

You did go to Harvard, you slimy old devil.

- So? - So, we're having

- a romantic dinner. - So I should leave?

You should be more charming and less bent on displaying your upbringing.

You guys are still doing divorce jobs.

Well, not for long. I've been toying with a kidnapping gig.

Come on. Even schoolkids know kidnapping's a fool's game.

Whoa, this is all news to me. What are you talking about, sweetie?

I'm sick of faking orgasms for pocket change. It's getting old.

So kidnapping?

- So why not? - So run with it.

So run with it nowhere. Last job I did was this accountant geek.

Works for Dyscan, some software conglom.

Dyscape? They're worth billions. This guy Ben Dyson built it.

Now everybody's got to have his fucking application wired

or they can't access anything. The guy is a certified genius, right?

So this accountant, he handles the company's insurance payouts, right?

Now, he happens to inform me that if this Ben Dyson genius were to be kidnapped,

Dyscape has 4 million dollars allotted to the immediate payout of ransom money.

I mean, no questions asked. This guy's too valuable.

Like you said, he's worth billions. So he's insured for 4 mil.

But he must have a skidillion bodyguards and alarm systems.

Maybe so, baby. But I mean, we're talking some heavy coin here...

So why are you telling me in front of Lizard?

Cause he's not going to want to be involved.

This isn't white-collar enough for him.

And...

You're not going to stand in our way should we go ahead with it, are you?

I'll call you. Your dinner's on me.

He's in.

I'll scope out Dyson's pad again tomorrow.

I thought it was my turn.

You get to do all the fun stuff.

You just find a muscle man, sweetie.

To find a muscle man in New Orleans, or for any underworld gig,

you had to go to Poppy Malavero.

Poppy was an ex-preacher turned gangster who knew New Orleans...

And no offense, Jesus, he knew the Bible better than God.

Miss Chavez.

Mr. Malavero.

Have you been reading the Book lately?

Oh, not since you stopped preaching, no.

You been back to church?

You of all people ought to know, the Church makes wise men into fools.

I'm truly sorry about my behavior that day, Coco.

Anyone would have done the same, Poppy. I mean...

Like you say... the place lends itself to that sort of thing.

Hell of an altar girl, you were.

Sal!

That Mormom kid Molina dug up in Salt Lake?

- Former middleweight? - Former middleweight.

Sergio.

Yeah, that one.

So how'd he make out in that junkyard spill?

Junkyard spill. He lost an arm, boss.

Might have lost an eye, too. I could find out about that for you right...

Ruben Rubenbauer.

Ruben Rubenbauer.

Ruben Rubenbauer.

Sure as shit, sugar.

This German kid, he's got moves like I ain't seen since forever.

We sent him on backup on a jewelry store gig.

He got attacked by a rent-a-cop and two, count them, two pitbulls.

He cuts up the watchman, tears up the dogs bare-fisted.

"Super-hush", were his instructions.

So the partners, they come out with the loot.

Like nothing. Didn't even hear the scuffle, he's so quiet.

Sal's going to give you the number.

Thanks, Poppy.

Clean, clean, clean.

Poppy says you're a crazy fuck,

but you never slipped on nothing. You never done any time.

Well, what do you make of that?

I don't know.

I don't really trust it.

I mean, it could be you're lucky. It could be you're a snitch.

Penny for your thoughts.

Ah, you don't want to know.

Try me.

Now, that's a trick answer.

My thoughts involve you in all kid of indecent-type situations.

Where you from?

Me? I'm from Wanne-Eikel, Nordveihnwestfalen.

Jesus Christ. What's there to do there?

Set dog tails on fire, watch flies fuck,

drink, chase your little sister...

You a badass, Ruben?

Let me see that.

No.

- Let me see that. - All right.

Hey, hey, wait.

All right, I'll call you.

- Maybe. - Wait.

You are a crazy fuck, and you're stupid.

As I said, I'll call you. Maybe.

Can you mambo?

Can I what?

Mambo, the dance.

I call it the "Save-My-Ass Mambo"

because, you know, basically I'm the best fucking strong-arm you can find.

And I'll kill whatever you want. Guns or knives. You can pick.

But, see, I... I get nervous at job interviews.

I show off a little. I kind of sabotage myself.

So, but I figure...

If you got nothing to lose and I got nothing to lose here,

let's mambo.

Ruben's mambo did the trick.

But nothing we had planned could really make us ready for this.

- You ready for this? - We'll find out in a hurry.

- Here, baby. - Thanks, sugar pie.

Fuck me, Junior!

Now, sweetie?

- I've got to calm down. - Adrenaline overdrive.

Ultra-pay dirt finger-licking mode.

Your eyes spin like pinwheels, heart thundering through your chest.

Junior Armstrong, you flip me over that mattress or I swear to God,

I'll highball it to Mexico and get me a muchacho like Ava Gardner had in that movie.

One, two, three, go!

Can you breathe in that?

You comfortable?

Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?

Hey, you are allowed to talk.

We're not weird or nothing, you know.

Yes.

- Yes, we are weird? - No.

Yes, I need to go to the bathroom.

Good-fucking-God, Junior.

You touch me places no man's ever touched before, you know that?

I've got to admit, sweetie. You tantalize me.

I'm so in love with you.

You're like a full-throttle religious experience to me.

I'm sorry about today. I really am.

This just more than makes up for it, sugar pie.

We still got Margarita Island coming, don't we?

Piña coladas and hammocks and nothing else to do but each other.

- They have rum there? - I'm positive they do.

Yeah? Cause you know, I'm not big on piña coladas. I mean,

not that I'd care if that was the only choice, but if I had my pick...

Rum and Cokes it shall be.

Jesus Christ, I love the way you wiggle, baby.

Hey guys, we're on TV.

Police are now on the scene at 351 Park Circle,

where computer giant Ben Dyson was kidnapped earlier today.

Found dead in his apartment was Mrs. Patricia Hornbeck, wife of Senator Rupert Hornbeck.

It is not clear how this shooting murder is connected to the kidnapping case,

but this frenzy of police and federal agents has not been seen since...

What do you got?

- You're not a case man. What's up? - Matty Grimes broke his foot.

I'm filling in. What do you got?

Clemencia Ruiz, maid, found the body. She's in the kitchen.

- Fred Gordon, security guard... - Let's start with the maid.

Get me a tape-recorder, a refill, and send these people home, will you?

You kids.

Beat it.

We only have to do this once, Miss Ruiz.

Were you in the apartment at the time of the murder?

- No. - Where were you?

Every Thursday I go buy groceries, and when I came back,

I open door, and I saw the woman.

I scream so loud. So loud.

I've never seen... I never...

- Did you know her? - No.

- No. - She wasn't a friend of Mr. Dyson's?

No, no.

When did you first realize that Mr. Dyson was missing?

I called 911.

And the policemen waits for Mr. Dyson, waits and waits and,

and then they, they saw that package.

I pick it up on my way in.

But...

What is this world coming to?

I think God must be sleeping.

Friedman?

Chief.

The butler did it. I'm sorry it took me so long when the clues were so clear.

You want to meet the Senator?

It's not my case, but I hear he's a lousy poker player.

The Senator's a good man to know.

FBI Agent Hawkins is in charge of the kidnapping. You're going to handle the murder.

Now I want you to pull whatever favors you need from whoever

and make like this assignment suits you ambitions,

cause you're going to be stepping all over their investigation.

I don't want this job.

- Senator and I go way back. - I don't want this job.

Detective Grimes will be on sick leave a few weeks, so this is your case now.

I don't want this job.

I know.

Let me make this very clear.

Dyscape is in no way going to jeopardize the safety of Mr. Dyson.

We are fully prepared to meet the kidnappers' demands by tomorrow,

as specified in this note,

and to deliver the 4 million dollars in cash to whatever location they specify

in exchange for Mr. Dyson.

A call is supposed to be made to this office at 8 p.m. tonight.

I bought my daughter her first computer last week.

I must admit, they're a lot of fun.

We are glad to be of assistance to the authorities as much as we see fit, but we will not,

I repeat, will not in any way

stall, mislead, or trick the kidnappers.

And that is final.

So fill me in.

That remark could be misconstrued as sexual harassment, Agent Hawkins.

Let's get it out of the way, then.

You've never worked under a female superior before.

I got to where I am by pushing paper and playing nice.

I never fired a gun before. I'm only here to prove I'm not a coward.

I give decent head so I got promoted before other worthy candidates,

all of them men and equally gifted at fellatio, but there was a quota.

I'm also stupid and idealistic. You're cynical and usually right.

I'm secretly in love with you, but I have a hard time showing it.

Did I skip anything?

You're a better driver than me and I'm too proud to admit it.

You're right.

So you keep me updated on everything,

and you have my permission to assist us as much as you like.

That's very thoughtful of you.

- Anything with the rent-a cop? - I'm on my way to the hospital.

How about the woman upstairs?

Name's Mary-Ellen Floyd. She used to play tennis with the Senator's wife.

I have an appointment with her in an hour.

- You coming to the Senator's? - You inviting me?

- You bet. You like to be on top? - Half the time.

- Want to have sex later? - Sure. I'll check with my ex-wife.

I'll check with my ex-husband.

'Harassment was too bad about Joyce Lakeland.

"If she hadn't loved it when I beat her, the trouble wouldn't have..."

Well, my. You really know your Jim Thompson.

That's pretty impressive for a detective.

I'm filled with contradictions, Agent Hawkins.

You'll see.

Mr. Gordon?

What's left of me.

- Who are you? - Detective Friedman. Can we talk?

I didn't see nothing good.

Just some delivery guy, futzing with the video monitor, floor 10.

But, you know that.

He came up close to the camera.

Dark hair, late twenties.

Maybe thirties.

Oh, heck. Maybe forties.

I don't know. My eyesight ain't so good.

Clearly, you know that you're the last person to see Mrs. Hornbeck alive.

I'm very sorry that you have to recap the incident only hours after it happened.

I only wish I could be of more assistance.

Patty and I had lunch and played tennis every Thursday.

Sometimes after we'd played she would come back here and shower.

She was...

It's all so ridiculous. She was so smart, so funny.

She was my best friend.

We'd known each other for fifteen years.

She left my apartment today and...

she got murdered because she took the stairs and not the elevator.

That's so pathetic.

I miss her so much already.

You know?

I beg you all,

from the deepest...

part of my soul, to find these degenerates.

I want them prosecuted

to the fullest extent of the law.

Then, God help me, I'm going to pass a new law

that will bring them to justice.

I swear.

I beg you all

your pardon for my conduct here today, I...

I don't think the words exist

to express my feeling.

I hope...

I hope none of you ever get to understand what it's like.

These fuckers just committed suicide.

Well?

Let's abort.

- What's that get us? - Dyson walks. He knows nothing.

He saw me for a fraction of a second. I can live with that.

We pull a ransom scheme, someone might get seen. Then they fry us.

- I should've shot her. - What difference does it make?

She had to go down, no matter what. It's still the same dilemma.

- 4 million dollars. - I've never quit nothing.

Unless you count school. But that wasn't my fault.

- Okay, we have till tomorrow to decide. - They're looking for us anyway.

- In like, beaucoup numbers. - We walk, we're clean.

They can never trace us. Freaky stuff happens like that.

Criminal negligence or not, the job remains the same.

Nothing's the same, man. We're all...

What's that fucking word? Hinked. We're all hinked here.

Before they're coming clueless, now they're coming pissed...

We can ring up tonight, jerk the leash a little, feel it out.

Fuck half-way. If we're in, we're in.

- Ruben? - Ruben what?

- Are you back in? - I've never been out.

Okay.

This is Walters.

Okay, this phone is tapped.

Talk to you at Capri's Pizza across the street. You got 5 minutes.

I told you they'd know.

I'd be real worried about your boss if they didn't. Come on, honey.

- How's he doing? - Still crying.

Christ Almighty, the man'll have a salt deficiency before he's done.

Hello?

Mr. Walters, please.

Yes, hello?

Say hello to the fed beside you. What's his name?

Her name is Hawkins. No, no, no. I only want to speak to you.

But say hello and tell her the paninis are outstanding in Capri's.

- It's a cellular. - How long will it take you?

Piece of cake.

Silver briefcase, model 399.

With the black handles. Yes, of course.

Hello?

So four million in used bills, no problem.

Don't you feel stupid repeating everything to the feds?

- I'm sorry, what? - I'll call you at noon tomorrow.

- You will call tomorrow noon? - You can't get used bills till...

Actually, I don't think I can get used bills until the afternoon.

Are you an early riser?

I beg your pardon?

He's calling from a different line every 30 seconds or so.

- We can't get the trace. - He's not bad.

- Are you an early riser? - Yes, I'm an early riser.

Make it 8 a.m. then.

- You'll call at 8 a.m.? - Stall him. Press for the afternoon.

I don't think I'll be able to get the money until the afternoon.

- The gentleman I speak to... - Six a.m. then.

Six a.m.

You're going to call at 6 a.m.

You keep playing games and I keep pushing the time, is that clear?

It's clear.

Say you're sorry.

I'm sorry.

May I speak to Mr. Dyson?

Oh, Ben.

There's no need to cry.

You're going to be out of here tomorrow.

I know this all seems very uncivilized and cruel, but we are not going to hurt you.

Okay? Come on.

Let's get you on the phone. You can talk to your accountant.

There's no need to be a scared bunny.

You touch her again, I don't give a fuck how much your brain's worth,

it's going to end up splattered all over this room. Do you understand?

Easy, everyone.

Phone's waiting.

You okay, sweetie?

I never been hit in the face before.

Fuck, that hurts.

- Don't you ever lay a hand on me. - Honey, I would never.

Here I was thinking "scared bunny" is a term of endearment.

Very well, then, 5 a.m. it is. Here's Dyson.

Mr. Dyson?

- Who is this? - Walters.

Accounting.

- You okay, sir? - I've been better, Mr. Walters.

You'll be safe in no time. We're doing everything we can to get you.

So then, he's alive. Talk to you at 4 a.m.

Tell Hawkins "in culo alla balena". If I get the sense you're lying again,

I cut up Dyson in a million pieces and disappear.

Definitely Dyson?

Detective?

Did you catch him yet?

Payout's at 4 a.m.

That gives me a hell of a lot of time, Hawkins.

That's only if you assume we're not going to get him.

Giving you all the credit in the world, I still look at it both ways.

If you blow it at 4 a.m., they're gone.

Kidnappers always screw up. It's part of their makeup as a species.

I'm relieved to hear that the FBI works under such scientific truths.

Well, fuck me sideways.

What, here?

Is it too late to re-visit a grieving witness?

Well, not if you bring her flowers.

See you at Dyscape in a few.

Miss Floyd, I'm sorry to trouble you again. I forgot my lighter.

It sounds petty...

It was the only thing my father left me.

Thank you.

Thank you again.

No problem.

Maybe it's time to call it a night.

Patty wasn't bad.

I'm sure she wasn't.

She didn't need to be bad to become a victim, if that's where you're...

I'd do anything for her. You do understand that, don't you?

Yes, I do.

It's not for me to say what is right or what is wrong.

She loved him.

She really...

I'm quite sure she did.

It would've worked out for them. I just feel it.

It would have worked out for Patty and the Senator?

Patty and Ben.

Patty Hornbeck and Ben Dyson.

They were involved.

She was so happy. It felt like something good was finally happening in her life.

How long they been seeing each other?

They came here every Thursday for the last three months.

It had been going on earlier.

Maybe about a year.

Come on.

It's time to go to sleep.

Tomorrow's a new day.

And we all get a fresh start.

Tell me your dreams.

I dream of being strapped to a wood frame in a barn,

with horns on my head and a cowbell around my neck,

taken from behind by... a gigantic bull.

No, I mean your dreams.

What do you want to do with your life?

Listen.

I am the most available female alien in this galaxy.

You don't have to concoct all these silly plots just to see me naked.

- Four a.m.'s no good. - So we make the idiot wait till nine, then start.

- Four a.m.'s no good. - So we make the idiot wait till nine, then start.

At the tone the time will be one...

Little early for that, ain't it?

When you drink as much as I do, you've got to start early.

Happy reading, my friend.

Let's take a look at Ben Dyson's phone bills as well.

You know, I jump when you say jump, Friedman. But this is pushing it.

I mean, the cleaning people get here in 15 minutes.

You better make it snappy then.

- Thanks, Friedman. I appreciate it. - Maybe once this is all over we could catch some dinner.

I'd like that.

You take care.

How much do you sleep at night?

I beg your pardon?

How many hours?

About four, average. You?

Same here.

Maybe we could have some late-night dinner.

Ruben, put that away. The bacon's dead already.

I just haven't gone this long without killing something.

- You had your chance. - Come on, you know.

I would have shot her.

But Coco was tremendous.

No, you really were. You were great.

You didn't freeze up.

I'll never forget the first time I had to clip somebody.

My entire body froze.

Well, my entire body except my asshole.

I had the runs for a whole week.

You don't even look like you got the runs.

You probably bit off your mother's nipple when you were a baby.

You're doing real good, Mr. Dyson.

You know, I never...

shot anything but beer cans before.

Well, and a bird once. But that was a bet and I was drunk.

But I guess I just want to tell you, you know, so that...

so that you know.

You're doing real good, considering.

If you'll excuse me...

I feel nauseous.

Maybe you're pregnant.

I wish. You know what I'm talking about.

You ought to stop punishing yourself, Coco. You had no choice.

How could I have no choice?

What do you want me to say?

That you fucked up?

Cause you didn't.

It was a tough situation and you did what you had to do.

Of course you feel bad. You feel bad because you're not a monster.

I've never killed anyone before.

Exactly.

You done good until now. This was an accident.

"You done good until now".

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it means

what it means.

Listen.

You and I, what's between us,

it's like, without jinxing nothing, Coco, we've been through a lot.

Good and bad. Officially, mostly bad.

But we always managed to keep our sense of humor about it.

And life is a complicated little comedy

and if you whack yourself off-kilter here, we're both going to drown.

Cause we're connected.

We don't just have a lot in common. We're the same. And this is life.

Fuck-ups happen and we learn from them.

You're flipping out now 'cause you think this accident

puts us in more danger than before, but the truth is it doesn't.

Or we don't know yet.

Or we won't know until this whole thing is done.

But projecting all this fear, it's not going to help either of us.

Please don't get killed.

I can manage without you, but I don't feel like it.

You have built a perfectly greased machine and set it in motion.

Now it's time to let it go.

Take a bath.

Watch TV.

Read a magazine.

Anything.

Let it play out. I'll see you in a couple hours. That's a promise.

- Don't promise, that's bad luck. - I don't promise.

But I love you.

Ruben's packing everything we got. I'll leave you this just in case.

Do keep an eye on Lizard as much as possible.

- You hear? - Yeah.

Here we go, buffalo.

Shouldn't you be doing something?

You starting a conversation, Walters? I can't really tell.

I mean, are we just going to wait all day?

- You're getting paid, aren't you? - Yes, I'm getting paid.

For sitting around with federal protection.

Usually you have to rat on made guys to get that kind of attention.

Take off your shoes. Live a little.

Showtime.

Hello?

Go to Wally's Auto Shop downtown. You've got 32 minutes.

- I'll be there. - I know you will.

Senator's a slow dresser, eh?

Oh, Detective.

I'm afraid the Senator can't speak to you at the moment.

"Afraid"

is the operative word in that sentence.

Lee Ann, this is Rickles.

Tell Arthur to bring the car around.

I've been drinking coffee for 45 minutes, waiting for his highness to emerge.

Now, I'm sure his beloved dead wife isn't quite as pressing an issue

as this international conference he'll be 5 minutes late for, but...

I just don't have the time to wait until after.

I don't appreciate your tone, Detective.

I need to speak to you in private.

You got my undivided attention from here to the car. See if you hold it.

Did you know that your wife and Ben Dyson had a relationship?

No, but it doesn't surprise me. My wife and I had relationships

with just about everyone worth knowing in this city.

That's not the kind of relationship I'm talking about.

Then make yourself clear, Detective. Life is fleeting.

Did you know she'd been having an affair with him the last few months?

You must be talking about your wife, Detective, not mine.

I have proof they spoke several times a day over the phone.

Listen to me carefully, you little prick.

I don't know what your angle is, and frankly I don't give a damn.

If smearing the names of stand-up citizens is your investigation,

then maybe Chief Bleeker could find you a job in one of the tabloids.

I don't have the time or the patience to destroy

your miserable existence, but I know several people who do.

Don't ever speak to me again.

Don't you even dare look at me.

If you get near my house again I will pull so many strings

so far beyond your comprehension it's going to take fifty years

to dig up your bones in some wasteland pit in Central America.

Detective?

I'm sorry. I thought you were Matty.

Matty Grimes?

Yeah, well, actually, you just... Your cars look similar.

I'm... Have a good day.

I tried it once, you know.

- I forget the reason why. - Only once?

Amateur.

Why, you?

Really?

I don't like to dwell on my failures.

You're lying.

Maybe so, maybe not. But the best bet is, who knows?

When you tried to kill yourself once you never forget how the blood

gushed out and that horrible face you made in the mirror.

From there one embellishes. It's all so romantic, you know?

It's like all those rumors you hear.

"Maybe Lizard is a cop,

or maybe he was behind the killing of those old folks in that social security scam".

You just never know.

Precisely. It is all so diabolically unimportant.

Just talk.

You and Junior were high school sweethearts, weren't you?

If we'd ever gone to high school, yeah.

How did you two meet, anyway?

- I had this crazy boyfriend, Jiminy Cricket. - I've heard of him.

Short, green guy, kept Pinocchio out of trouble?

Jiminy was a speed-freak with a self-esteem problem size of Kansas.

He used to spank me with a violin.

We hit liquor stores for drug cash and only had oral sex

because he was so paranoid about knocking me up.

He didn't even kiss me, he was so paranoid.

Claimed his saliva was...

sperm-rich, or some other nonsense.

But I was young and he did have a cool bike and what have you.

I was going through a phase.

Anyway, we were going to hit this supermarket that Junior worked at.

I didn't really know him, but Jiminy said he was a stand-up guy.

Were planning on breaking in, but Jiminy never showed up.

I was fed up with him. I was starting to see little future

in the relationship, so I broke in alone

and met Junior by the liquor boxes.

Meat freezer connected with the regular storage area,

and he'd chosen to hide out there during close-up.

But he'd miscalculated the night watchman's routine and he got locked in the period.

So when I showed up, he was drunk and depressed. Not a good start.

We decided to abort the plan

and stack up the liquor boxes to climb out,

when Jiminy showed up, noticed the open skylight, saw me nowhere

and closed it so as to not arouse any suspicion

and do the job the following night.

So what else could Junior and I do but get drunk?

We spent the night swapping stories, made a deal to change the world.

Settled on changing ourselves.

"Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick.

The one that makes me scream", she said.

"The one that makes me laugh", she said.

And threw her arms around my neck,

"Show me how you do it,"

and I promise you, I promise that

I'll run away with you.

"I'll run away..."

We fucked like bunnies in the meat freezer.

I had my first ever orgasm, staring into a dead cow.

You're soft and only,

you're lost and lonely,

you're strange as angels dancing in the deepest oceans.

Twisting in the water. You're just like a dream.

You're just like a dream.

I'll never forget the fresh smell of blood and the rawness of flesh.

It was right then and there that I knew I was in love.

How'd you two get out?

Next morning they just opened the supermarket. We walked right out.

Junior quit on the spot.

And to this day I can't look at a steak without getting wet.

They got a goofy yellow car in front of Wally's.

There's a van up the street. Very discreet.

And there's another car pulled up in front of the food truck.

There's a woman getting out, looks like our leader. She's kind of cute.

Tell him I can take all of them from here, just in case we need to.

And Ruben says...

I heard it. Tell the jackal to stand down. Call you back.

No, no, no, Mrs. Gurwitz.

I told you your alternator was just fine, but the radiator...

We already rebuilt the radiator. That's the point.

We got ourselves a situation here. You can't expect me to undo work.

- You do understand that we... - Do you have call waiting?

- What do you want? - I need the phone, Mr...

Wally. I need it right now! It's a police emergency.

Son, you are not a cop. Get the fuck out of here.

"Mr. Wally". Fuck you.

No, no, ma'am, not you.

Now look, labor has already been committed on your Mercedes.

That is not in question here.

All right, just let me look at the file. You just hang on.

God, women!

Yes?

You make me wait and that's the last you'll hear from me.

I am sorry.

- What are you doing? - What are you doing?

I need that phone!

- What's going on down there? - Oh, you're missing a beautiful routine.

Wally the mechanic's about to beat the hell out of our helpless accountant. He's calling out for help.

Other agents are coming in.

Wally's swinging a tire iron. He's going to stand up to the two agents.

Male or female, the agents?

Male.

Walter is inside.

Hello?

You playing games, is that it?

No, no. You don't understand. A mechanic pushed me around outside...

I don't know what ever gave you the idea you were dealing with a child.

I'm not sure Dyson would be amused by your incompetence and disregard.

But let's straighten this out right now.

No, I'm not lying to you. I was here on time. I was here.

Shut up! It's very simple. Get rid of the goons outside the office.

Tell Hawkins to go fuck herself and lose the van.

Lie to me and you carry Dyson's death on your conscience for life.

It's not a threat, it's a promise.

You've got to make it across town to the Three Horseshoes Motel.

It's on Seeker Street, the phone is in the lobby. Take a cab.

You know I'm watching you, so let's up the stakes a little.

If I see any of your friends near you, I'll shoot you on the spot.

He's been instructed to take a cab to a motel.

- We're being watched as we speak. - Well, they can't see you.

Send two agents over to the motel. Have them check for cameras.

They can't see him inside the motel otherwise.

Unless, of course, they're inside.

- There you go, ma'am. - Thank you. But you know what?

I don't think they're that stupid.

Want to get another agent in the cab and we'll drive the accountant over?

They're watching us.

You want to stick around, look for anybody that looks like a kidnapper?

- It's not the weekend yet, Dave. - I'm here to talk to Matty.

Come in.

- Hey there, Tinkerbell. - Hi, Daddy.

- You're not in school? - She's got a cold.

Matty's in there, Dave.

What's shaking, Friedman?

I came to pay you a visit.

The boys miss you.

And we all wish you'd get better soon.

You're a worse liar than me.

What can I do for you?

I inherited the Hornbeck case.

I heard.

Do me proud.

But not too proud.

I still need my job once I get better.

Freaky coincidence, breaking your foot yesterday morning,

when all this was about to come down.

Well, everything happens for a reason.

Most of the time the reason simply being life is fucked.

Now I don't mean to rush you or nothing, but...

I'm about to take a nap.

- You know Hornbeck pretty well? - He's an ex-cop.

I've sat down with him once or twice.

Plays a lousy game of poker, but then I told you that.

You go there a lot?

Friedman, I like you, I really do.

But if you're going to ask something, do it.

Did you bug Patty Hornbeck's phone?

Jesus Christ!

You've been up all night, haven't you?

You're the best wire man on the force. Just give me a straight yes or no

and I'll play dumb with this whole scam.

I ain't looking to get promoted and I ain't looking to get killed.

I didn't bug nobody's phone.

I'm asking you nice, Matty.

I don't want the goddamn job.

You really should take some time off.

You've gone totally paranoid.

- What are you doing? - You bluffed, I call.

Put that away! What's wrong with you, man?

I'm going to break your foot if it isn't broken already.

It's broken already.

Well, there's no way you'd hop like that if it was broken.

- Say goodbye to your foot. - Stop it!

- Put that away! - Did you bug her phone?

I'm going to get you for this, Friedman. I swear to God, I am.

Did you? Yes or no.

No!

Crazy son of a bitch!

- Did you? - Yes!

Thanks.

Here's a cab. Walter looks like he's about to pass out. He's getting in.

- Can you see the driver? - Negative.

You think it's one of them?

I'll bet my life. Feds are preposterously unimaginative.

Hold on a sec.

Hey, sweetie.

I think Walter has to be wired up the ass. But there's just one now,

so you let Ruben handle that if needed, you hear? You sit tight.

Wait till the agents leave. If they don't, stash your equipment.

How are you feeling?

Oh, a might restless, pumpkin, but it's natural. How's Lizard?

He's breathing up a storm with that kundalini nonsense of his.

Well, as long as he keeps still. I'll talk to you at five.

Hey, sweetie?

Have you had lunch?

Are you here for Rolo?

- Excuse me? - If you are, he got arrested.

- Who? - Rolo.

Lobby.

Who?

Rolo ain't here, you know. Arrested.

Who? I don't know any Walters.

This is Walters.

- Who's Rolo? - I have no idea.

The agent in the cab getting all this down?

- What agent? - You want to die?

Listen up.

There is a green couch behind you. See it?

Yes.

There is a phone underneath it and a note. Read the note.

Tear it up in front of the clerk and do as it says.

Fuck you!

- Not you, lady. - Nothing I ain't heard before.

The son of a bitch is definitely not watching me now.

And if this woman is involved, she is some kind of genius.

I don't know about you guys, but you are on your own.

I'm taking the 12:00 train across the street. I have 4 minutes.

Have two cars follow this train.

Chief, I told the detective he had to wait.

Well, he's in now.

Please leave us alone.

Well, sir?

You pulled Matty off the assignment on purpose. You're buddies.

I understand. But what do you got against me?

Your entrance was great, but you're rambling now.

What are you talking about?

About Ben Dyson and Patty Hornbeck having an affair for a year.

I'm talking about Hornbeck hiring Matty to tap her phone.

I'm talking about police corruption beyond inter-departmental charges.

I'm talking about me making it very clear I didn't want the fucking job

because it's rigged up the ass

and you insisted on me getting fucked. What do you have against me?

The public has no idea what justice costs the men and women who perform it.

Meaning?

Meaning thanks for coming to me with this first.

Meaning I get a favor now?

Meaning you're jumping to conclusions mighty quick.

If Dyson and Mrs. Hornbeck were having an affair,

well, it's nothing but a coincidence.

Don't do this to me.

A coincidence, pure and simple.

There are no coincidences in this life, Chief.

You know that.

I expect a report on your leads and suspects.

ASAP.

There's only one suspect.

There's only one killer.

Are you going to let me arrest Rupert Hornbeck?

I'm going to make like I never heard you utter such nonsense.

Covington, next stop.

Covington. This'll be our last stop before...

- Think we have time for a swim? - Go ahead.

I don't think you can float with all that metal you're carrying.

Did you know that some people hate the taste of metal?

Can't say I've ever given it much thought.

I wish women tasted more like this.

You're going to make a prison shrink very happy someday, Ruben.

My mother used to say that.

Yeah?

This is Walters.

Ben Dyson will be alive in your office in two hours.

Open the window and throw out the briefcase right...

now.

FBI!

Hold it right there!

Ruben, let's go!

Get in the fucking car!

- Son of a bitch. - Hey, come on.

This is it! This is it!

Don't fucking look at it too much.

I've never seen this much money together, man.

My dick is thick as a brick.

Hold that thought and close the window before the money flies away.

Close the fucking window before the money flies away.

You know, I've pictured it and...

And I've dreamed about it, but... but it never all fit in my head.

It was too big. I mean, it's still too big.

It's like, my head is expanding, man.

I think I'm having an epilepsy.

- Having a fit? - No, man, an epilepsy.

Like a religious vision.

- I think you mean an epiphany. - Yeah, that's it.

You know, like I thought, they'd do it like in the movies.

You know, they put the top layer in and fill the rest with newspapers.

And you know what?

I would've been happy with it.

But they filled up the case.

They really went for it.

You ever seen that Errol Flynn picture, "Objective, Burma!"?

No. Old movies make me sad.

- Really? Why's that? - I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

Errol Flynn, is he a homo?

Well, last I heard, Errol Flynn was dead.

I mean, was he a homo?

Well, how the fuck do I know?

Cary Grant was a homo. Rock Hudson, too.

You know what that did to my mother?

She was devastated.

I'll never forgive those guys for letting her down like this.

You know now, if I watch old movies,

I just keep thinking in the back of my head,

"My mother has a crush on this guy and he's probably a homo".

- Makes me sad, that's all. - Yeah, you got a point.

Hey, why are we stopping?

This battery's flat. I got a spare in the back.

So what happens in "Objective, Burma!"?

Well, Flynn and a group of soldiers are about to jump out of an airplane

into some fucking jungle during World War II

and this guy asks Flynn, "What happens if my chute don't open?".

And Flynn says, "Well, you'll be the first one on the ground".

- What does it mean? - Nothing, really.

Yeah.

I just got paid.

I'm a man of my word. Are you?

Yeah. I had no complaints so far.

Well, you got something for me?

5515 Ellroy Street.

There's a briefcase under your seat. Open.

Senator.

The girl with Dyson...

She's unarmed.

- Hawkins, where the hell are you? - I won't be long.

He's leaving right now. How long is long?

Not too long.

You had better be certain about this.

The world gets more uncertain every second.

- You got cash? - For keeping my mouth shut?

For parking.

Yeah.

Something isn't right.

Time really isn't linear, you know?

What are you saying?

I'm saying if you look at that watch again I'll skin you alive.

Do you know something I don't?

That's an open book of a question.

Will you stop that?

I'm merely trying to breathe in peace. Stop what?

This high and mighty eloquence. It's epically dull.

Epically dull?

You have a skillfully willful way with words, Coco.

Don't bother the hostage. I'm sure he's not too sympathetic to your impatience.

And when they asked Jim Thompson where he came up with all those twisted plots,

he said "There's only ever been one plot".

- "Can't always get what you want." - Almost.

"Nothing is what it seems".

How come you didn't become a writer? You know so much.

He's pulling over. Follow him.

- What do you mean, follow him? - He doesn't like me.

- What if he doesn't like me? - Just do it!

Okay, I'm doing it.

Shit!

Follow the green car.

What took you so long?

There was a Tupperware sale and I couldn't help myself...

I was worried, that's all. We after the assistant now?

Hornbeck gave him an address. Made him run like hell.

Standard 357.

An old-fashioned, stay-put type piece. I know, but I like it.

What?

Hey, you smoke?

Oh, that's terrific.

You health conscious or you just never need to feel cool?

You know, I started smoking when I was 12.

At least I'm no quitter.

Hey, if I ask you something, you promise not to hit me?

I just...

I just wonder what it feels like.

You know, you think you're going to die.

And I don't mean that in a morbid way.

We're not going to kill you, even if you think it's a torture technique or something.

You must think you are, right? Because we're crazy or something.

I just wonder what it feels like, I mean, besides the fear and the bad uncertain aspect.

I wonder if you get any sense of inner revelations,

or, I don't know, empowerment?

Like...

Like resolutions and stuff?

I guess you don't have to tell me.

I just thought you might need someone to talk to.

This is unit 340.

I need an ambulance here.

Corner of Jacinta and Ellroy.

You weren't kidding about your driving, were you?

I mean, because after all, you know,

you are going to spend years in therapy after this ordeal, right?

Hey, what's that short story of that scientist who spends all that time creating the first computer,

the most perfect, complicated machine.

And he works and he works until finally it's done, and...

And he turns it on, and...

the first question he asked the computer is "Is there a God?",

and the computer says...

What does the computer say?

"There is now".

I knew that.

I was just trying to see if you'd break down and talk.

You say you're not going to kill me.

I guarantee it. Not that my word means anything to you...

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, anything.

I'm just happy to talk.

Why did you kill Patty?

Patty who?

You knew that lady, the Senator's wife?

I knew her.

But we had so little time together.

Oh, God. Why did this have to happen on a Thursday?

I'm going to jump in the shower.

- Tell someone who gives a fuck. - Thought you might want to join me.

A sense of humor is one of those things you can't afford to lose.

I'll scope out Dyson's pad again tomorrow.

I say we go Thursday.

But I thought we agreed the weekend was better.

It's crying out to me, honey. I mean, it's in my gut.

Don't get me wrong. I mean, I get dizzy just picturing your gut, baby.

- But Lizard thinks it's better if... - Fuck Lizard.

Who set this whole thing up? You and me.

Yeah.

And I'm telling you, we go Thursday.

I had a little dream about it.

- You did? - Yeah, I did.

But this guy must have a skidillion bodyguards

and a bizillion high-tech alarm systems and what have you.

- Cleaning lady goes out, we go in. - It's too simple.

Simplicity ain't necessarily bad.

There's always room for error.

Well, that's comforting.

Why aren't you the one packing?

I don't want to risk the gun going off when I cover his face.

Oh, it just makes me nervous.

- Coco, you're a better shot than me. - That's true.

It's a precaution, that's all.

It is?

Coco?

The girl said you weren't going to kill me.

What did I do?

Benjamin.

Hornbeck?

Go ahead, Rickles.

You've been fucking my wife for a year.

You've been calling her at all hours.

You've been sweet-talking her with your bullshit.

You've been laughing at me behind my back. Explain this to me.

Fuck you.

That's not the answer I wanted.

Go ahead, Rickles.

Oh shit! God...

Fuck this!

Shit.

Aw, shit!

Now get up!

All right.

Rickles!

I'm putting his hands in the freezer, Senator.

That's enough!

Enough? Enough?

This ain't even fucking close to over, you son of a bitch!

This hasn't even started!

Smell that burning flesh stink, Ben.

Smell it!

The last fucking thing you're going to smell in your life.

Think about all your fucking companies.

All your goddamn money you didn't get to spend.

Was it worth it for a few moments of ecstasy with my wife?

Did you tell her you love her?

Did she whisper nice things in your ear?

Did she mention she was telling me the same things at night?

She didn't love you.

How could she?

But she loved you.

Because you're so special.

Is that right?

Because I cared for her.

You respected her.

Yes.

You respected her once a week

with your cock in her face! You make me sick!

Apologize, asshole!

Is that why you had her killed?

Because you loved her?

Apologize!

There's nothing to apologize for.

Apologize to me!

You are nothing.

Rickles.

I'm so sorry.

911, emergency.

Hello?

My name is Ben Dyson. I was kidnapped yesterday.

Can you trace this call and send an ambulance, please?

We'll send an ambulance and police assistance right away.

Go.

Just go.

I'm going to stay.

Make sure you're okay.

Please.

I've never seen you before.

I don't know who you are.

Code 4. A fast food establishment on the...

You're going to have a beautiful new nose, honest.

Oh, God!

Med Two, ambulance three to 5515 Ellroy Street, ASAP.

Jeez, they're sending in the whole city.

Sending the whole city where?

That Ben Dyson guy, he called 911 a minute ago.

- Alive? - At least when he called.

5515?

That's a block which way?

Just past the cemetery.

- I'm sure that ankle's broken. - Get her to the hospital.

What happened to your ankle?

Why?

You going to lend me your cast?

Do yourself a big favor and blow out of here before you really get hurt.

I'm curious.

You got a mop in there?

Scrubbing oils?

- Sponges? - There's no time for this.

Talk to the Chief. I'm going in there now.

I can't let you go in there.

I'm going in.

You're not going in.

Friedman, leave, please!

Why, you going to kill me, too?

Goddamn it, Friedman!

You did your job. I've got to do mine.

Now you know none of this is personal so don't pretend it is.

I'll tell you why none of this is personal.

Because you are not a person.

I'm going in now.

I believe this is a federal investigation, Detective Grimes.

Thanks for guarding the scene. I'll put in a word for you in my report.

Damn.

All available units to 5515 Ellroy Street.

That is 5515 Ellroy Street.

I didn't ask for a rum and Coke.

I asked for a piña colada.

You look like you've seen a ghost.

One too many.

How the hell are you, sweetie?

I'm alive.

You're not.

Dear Jesus:

Some people say life is what you bargain for.

I'm starting to think life isn't much of a bargain to begin with.

The more I live, the less I learn, the less I know, the more I regret.

I've done things I never dreamed of doing and lived to tell.

Maybe it's true that we can all get a fresh start somehow.

Myself, I'm not too sure.

But I'll keep you posted.