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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,857 First day of unemployment. 3 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,159 More like funemployment! 4 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,726 [LAUGHS HEARTILY] 5 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:30,162 [FANFARE BLOWS] 6 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,796 [SCREAMS] I wanna die! 7 00:00:32,798 --> 00:00:35,034 Best day ever! 8 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,302 Ugh. 9 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,404 Blood Haven Thrill Park. Such memories. 10 00:00:39,405 --> 00:00:41,840 - Jesus, Bane! - I almost blew that place up, 11 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,143 but then I rode the Cyclotron 12 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,111 and thought, "I get it. This is fun". 13 00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,013 Do ya need somethin'? I'm kinda busy here. 14 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,517 You don't look busy. 15 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,886 You look like you're Insta-stalking your ex-crew. 16 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:57,312 Not very healthy. Slippery slope. 17 00:00:57,314 --> 00:00:59,104 Gah. Can ya believe they ditched me? 18 00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:01,675 I made one little mistake and they just... they bolt. 19 00:01:01,676 --> 00:01:03,409 After everything I did for them. 20 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,379 Um. You could blow them up? 21 00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:06,412 Nah, not really my thing. 22 00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:07,679 I could blow them up? 23 00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:09,715 Nah. Argh! Looks like both of us 24 00:01:09,717 --> 00:01:11,350 will be spending the weekend alone. 25 00:01:11,351 --> 00:01:14,652 No, I'm going to Black Manta's beach lair. 26 00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:16,855 He's smoking a pork shoulder. 27 00:01:16,857 --> 00:01:21,527 I... take it you didn't get the invite? 28 00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:24,929 Um, maybe check your spam folder? 29 00:01:24,931 --> 00:01:26,931 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 30 00:01:29,502 --> 00:01:31,470 [ENGINE WHIRRING] 31 00:01:31,472 --> 00:01:33,270 [SY SNORING] 32 00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:41,308 _ 33 00:01:43,116 --> 00:01:44,682 [SIGHS] 34 00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:47,018 I don't think she's going to respond. 35 00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,221 Hey, sane me. 36 00:01:48,223 --> 00:01:51,322 Also, the LOL felt a little sweaty. 37 00:01:51,324 --> 00:01:53,404 Yeah, I went back and forth on that. 38 00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:54,995 Where are all your friends? 39 00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:57,219 Just kidding. I know. They left you. 40 00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:59,149 What? You just came outta the phone to shit on me? 41 00:01:59,151 --> 00:02:00,919 I'm here to help you. 42 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,488 Look, you messed up a bunch of important relationships, 43 00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,124 but there's still someone 44 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,526 who is always going to love you unconditionally. 45 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,894 Someone who always manages to comfort you. 46 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,864 She's not even responding to my texts. 47 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,163 Ivy's definitely not gonna wanna see me. 48 00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:16,665 I wasn't talking about Ivy. 49 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,543 [GASPS] 50 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,845 [BELL DINGING] 51 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,781 Hi, Mom. 52 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,750 [OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 53 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,386 ♪ Togetherness... ♪ 54 00:02:33,388 --> 00:02:37,388 ♪ Is one thing that drives you through life and love ♪ 55 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,125 ♪ Will always steer you right ♪ 56 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,894 ♪ All you need is to hear their voices ♪ 57 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:47,233 ♪ Of really good family and really good choices ♪ 58 00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:52,235 ♪ And you want another, especially your brother! ♪ 59 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,084 Hey! You're up, sleepyhead. 60 00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:06,685 - [GUS CHUCKLES] - [POISON IVY GRUNTING] 61 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,954 [GUS] You've probably got the usual questions. 62 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,746 - Where am I? - Exactly. 63 00:03:10,748 --> 00:03:13,222 [MOCKINGLY] Where am I? What are you doing to me? 64 00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:14,425 Why are you so handsome? 65 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,727 [LAUGHS] 66 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,495 Y'know, that's just me playin'. 67 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:18,555 Uh, but actually, 68 00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:20,232 I don't have the answers to any of these questions. 69 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,501 I'm just a low-level goon. 70 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,668 Hey! I got an idea. 71 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,371 Why don't you just let me go? 72 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,472 Honestly, I'd consider it, 73 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,340 but I need this job. 74 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,043 I'm actually a kindergarten teacher. 75 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,276 Just sidegooning to make some extra moolah for art supplies. 76 00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:34,781 You know what, if you let me go 77 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,148 I'll double what you're making. 78 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,382 I mean, I'll get you construction paper. 79 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,217 Like, those crazy smelly markers... 80 00:03:40,218 --> 00:03:42,155 Ah, geez, that's so nice. 81 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:45,525 But if I did, I'd drop to three stars on Goon Review. 82 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,925 They say that's all you need, 83 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,359 but once you drop below four, you're dead. 84 00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:51,896 Okay, so I will be getting out of here. 85 00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,399 So if you're not the one who's gonna let me out, 86 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,699 I will have to kill you first. 87 00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:58,637 Ooh, that really took a turn, didn't it? 88 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,436 Well, honestly, we're harvesting you 89 00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,539 in two days, so... 90 00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:02,639 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 91 00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:04,174 Oh. Oh, God. I gotta take this. 92 00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:05,978 [WHISPERING] It's a parent from the school. 93 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,044 [CELL PHONE BEEPS] Hey, Mrs. Kirshen. 94 00:04:08,046 --> 00:04:09,448 Uh, little Kendall 95 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,615 told a rather grown-up joke at share time. 96 00:04:11,616 --> 00:04:14,008 - [DOOR SLAMS] - Well, it was 97 00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:18,245 "What did one potato say to the other potato? Idaho". 98 00:04:18,247 --> 00:04:19,415 Oh, gee, hold on, wait. 99 00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:21,395 No, I forgot to say "one of the potatoes is a whore". 100 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:23,946 [LAUGHS] Oh, God. 101 00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:29,132 [WIND BLOWING] 102 00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:32,434 [VIBRATO INTENSIFYING] 103 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,812 Hey! So, I need your help, okay? 104 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,248 - [MEEPING] - Go find Frank... 105 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,832 ... and tell him to get Harley to come rescue me. 106 00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:46,833 [MEEPING] 107 00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,893 So, yeah, I get into Legion of Doom 108 00:04:52,894 --> 00:04:54,878 and next thing I know she doesn't wanna be friends anymore! 109 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,263 Well, I'd be in your crew any day, sweetie. 110 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,459 Ya know, sometimes 111 00:04:58,461 --> 00:05:01,497 I use the express line when I have more than 12 items. 112 00:05:01,499 --> 00:05:04,168 Aw, yeah, that's truly evil of ya, Ma. 113 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,805 Listen, you know, I know I ain't called ya in a few months... 114 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,873 Thirty-six months. 115 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,131 Right. Yes. You know, 116 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,244 it's just... I got swept up in my relationship with Joker, 117 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,045 and then my breakup with Joker. 118 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,182 Yeah, I saw that on Howie, may he rest in peace. 119 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,418 Anyway, I'm sorry. I shoulda stayed in touch. 120 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,791 [GROANS] I missed ya, Ma. 121 00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:25,392 Well, if ya were around more ya wouldn't miss me so much. 122 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:28,593 Maybe ya could move back, be a psychologist again? 123 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:32,163 Maybe make that "life of crime" thing more of a weekend deal? 124 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,300 Ma! Ma, the Legion of Doom isn't a weekend kinda thing. 125 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,768 Okay. Well, it's an option. 126 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,569 The one your only Mom likes the most. 127 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,005 I'm just glad you're home. 128 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,473 You... you kept this trophy? 129 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,307 I know ya wanted us to throw it away, 130 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,743 but I just couldn't do it. 131 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:48,380 Still so proud of ya. Even after what happened. 132 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,380 [ANNOUNCER] Next on the floor exercise, 133 00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:51,850 Harleen Quinzel. 134 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,752 Okay, this is it, Dad. If I nail this routine, 135 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,319 I'll be the national champ. 136 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,654 Probably go to the Olympics, 137 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:57,956 get lots'a endorsements, 138 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,723 maybe be the first woman president. 139 00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:02,026 Great, great. So, um... 140 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,928 I'm gonna need ya to take a dive. 141 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,463 - What? - I owe a bunch of money to my bookie. 142 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:07,598 I bet against ya. 143 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,801 You're the heavy favorite. 144 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:11,670 So, if ya lose I keep all nine of my fingers. 145 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,323 But this is my dream. 146 00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:17,425 You'll have other dreams. Come on, do it for me. 147 00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:23,545 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 148 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:30,221 - [CROWD CHEERING] - [ANNOUNCER] Stunning performance by Quinzel. 149 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:34,358 I mean, she's got this in the bag. 150 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,392 [CROWD CHEERING] 151 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:37,894 You're killin' me, Harleen. 152 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,908 Ooh! A costly mistake. 153 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,312 Oh. Thank you, sweetie. Thank you. 154 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,545 You saved my life. 155 00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:56,714 Also, let's be honest, 156 00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:59,550 there ain't never gonna be a lady president anyway. 157 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,788 [HARLEY GRUNTING] 158 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,389 I hate you. 159 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,625 [YELLS] I wanna kill you! 160 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,360 That was my worst day. 161 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,764 Ugh, I'm glad that son of a bitch is rottin' in jail. 162 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,766 [NICK] Hey, sweetie. 163 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,005 He got out and we kinda got back together. 164 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,673 Why? He broke every promise he ever made! 165 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,675 And he apologized for that 166 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,944 and made a whole bunch of new ones! 167 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,880 Plus, he made me this beautiful bracelet in jail. 168 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:34,286 It's water resistant, up to 50 meters. 169 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,553 [FRANK THE PLANT] People shit on the WNBA, 170 00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:37,923 but I'm a purist. 171 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,956 Get those dunks the fuck outta my face. 172 00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:42,327 Give me a nice crisp bounce pass. 173 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,597 That's my shit. I'm more about the fundamentals! 174 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,930 [MEEPING] 175 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,331 Do not interrupt me. 176 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,234 You're a dandelion weed. I'm a grown ass plant. 177 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,269 [MEEPING] 178 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,005 - What? Ivy's in a well... - [MEEP] 179 00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:54,471 - ... guarded prison? - [MEEP] 180 00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:55,906 - Ivy's been captured... - [MEEP] 181 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,276 - at PlanetWide Pavers... - [MEEP] 182 00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:58,843 - and needs me to find Harley... - [MEEP] 183 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,232 - in Bensonhurst... - [MEEP] 184 00:08:00,233 --> 00:08:01,914 - to rescue her? - Am I super baked 185 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,316 or are two plants talking to each other right now? 186 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,317 Chaz, you gotta drive me to Brooklyn. 187 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,589 [COUGHING] 188 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,324 Honey, a birdie just told me the dentist down the street 189 00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:15,894 just got divorced. 190 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,897 Tallest Jew I've ever seen. I could introduce ya. 191 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,666 No, Ma. Can ya pass me the peas? 192 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,202 They're right next to that piece of shit. 193 00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:25,303 Oh, Harleen, come on! Talk to me. 194 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,771 Hasn't been a day gone by I haven't regretted what I did. 195 00:08:28,773 --> 00:08:30,841 Oh. How about a week after the championship 196 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,043 when ya bought a Trans Am with the extra money? 197 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,047 Okay, I didn't regret that. 198 00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,914 But on the whole, though, a lotta regret. 199 00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:39,384 I'm reformed now. 200 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,321 Huh? Haven't placed a single bet since. 201 00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,255 Oh, then why were ya sent to jail? 202 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,348 Eh, the usual. 203 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:48,125 Almost beat an Irish to death. Nothing to do with gamblin'. 204 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,697 The Irish are a menace. They're like rats, honey. 205 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,731 He's the rat. 206 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,265 You ain't changed one bit. 207 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,400 I never woulda come back home if I'd known ya were here. 208 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,668 I just wanna be with people who love me. 209 00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:00,072 Like Ma, Grandma, Barry... 210 00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:03,539 Aw, Harleen, I am so sorry for what I did. 211 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,841 I'm hopin' you'll forgive me 212 00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,514 'cause I'll never be able to forgive myself. 213 00:09:07,516 --> 00:09:10,447 What do ya say, sweetheart? 214 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,085 Beautiful. 215 00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:13,985 Fuck you. 216 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,354 Least the lines of communication are opening. 217 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,620 That's a start. 218 00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:19,889 Let's just have a nice dinner, huh? 219 00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:23,226 Grandma's really happy to see you. 220 00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:24,529 It's true. 221 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,163 I don't know how many of these dinners I've got left. 222 00:09:27,165 --> 00:09:28,633 What do ya mean, Grandma? 223 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:31,500 Well, I went to the doctor last week. 224 00:09:31,502 --> 00:09:32,827 I got the brain cancer. 225 00:09:32,829 --> 00:09:34,384 - Aah! - Whoa! 226 00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,991 Jesus! That's an aggressive form of brain cancer. 227 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,814 [YELLS] Someone's tryin' to kill us, ya idiot. 228 00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:41,316 [GUNSHOTS] 229 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,952 [DOOR CREAKING] 230 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,755 [DOOR SLAMS] 231 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:05,669 [BOTH GRUNTING] 232 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,631 - All right, who ya workin' for? - [GROANS] 233 00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:10,841 [COUGHING] 234 00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:13,144 [GUNSHOT] 235 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,880 Dad! The fuck are ya doin'? 236 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,313 He killed Grandma. 237 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,250 I mean, she was gonna die shortly anyway, 238 00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:20,283 but that was God's trigger to pull. 239 00:10:20,285 --> 00:10:22,986 Well, they say, "He works in mysterious ways". 240 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,856 God doesn't send assassins, Ma. 241 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,692 I was about to find out who sent this bastard here to kill me. 242 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,428 Oh, he wasn't here to kill you. 243 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,430 He's here to kill me. 244 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,902 This is your fault. You've been gamblin' again. 245 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,404 No! I told ya. 246 00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:41,773 Look, it's been hard times. We were scrapin' by. 247 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,140 I tried to get into real estate, 248 00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:45,410 but do ya know how much a pant suit costs? 249 00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,180 - Three figures! - Oh, Sharon, please. 250 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,812 Look, I took out a loan 251 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,782 from the only mooks that'd give me one. 252 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,518 The M-O-B. That spells... 253 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,054 I know what it spells, Ma. 254 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,987 Look, if you were in trouble, why didn't ya call me? 255 00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:58,789 I didn't wanna waste your minutes. 256 00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:01,259 None of this is your problem, Harleen. 257 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,995 I'll talk to the mob, try to reason with them. 258 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,731 They're famous for bein' reasonable. 259 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,164 They'll kill ya, Nicky! 260 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,269 Then at least the last memory you'll have of me 261 00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:13,971 is finally doin' the right thing. 262 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,274 All right, stop! 263 00:11:15,276 --> 00:11:17,274 [GROANS] I'm comin'. 264 00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,464 You're gonna stick up for your old man? 265 00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:20,803 Hell, no. 266 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,213 I just know when ya fuck this up, 267 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,774 they'll kill Ma next. 268 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,085 [MOBSTER 1] Aye! 269 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,429 [MOBSTER 2 CHUCKLES] Ooh! 270 00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:30,484 Gabbagool! 271 00:11:30,486 --> 00:11:32,793 All great suggestions for things we need'a stop sayin'. 272 00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:35,293 Otherwise we're just feedin' a harmful stereotype. 273 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,850 What are you doing? Slap ya in the face. 274 00:11:36,852 --> 00:11:39,062 What are you doing? Get that out of your face. What is this? 275 00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:40,231 Hey, guys. 276 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,932 I realize I owe you a buncha money, 277 00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:45,534 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] but I'm wonderin'... 278 00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:46,937 - [GRUNTS] - [GROANS] 279 00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:49,407 Which one of ya meatballs killed my grandma? 280 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,476 Whoa! Holy shit! 281 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,677 You're Harley Quinn. 282 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:53,768 That's right. 283 00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:56,880 So either forgive my dad's debt or I kill all of ya. 284 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,917 That ain't how our business works. 285 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,985 Yeah. It's based on loans 286 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,952 and the interest attached to those loans. 287 00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:04,657 We're servicing a sector of the community 288 00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,990 traditionally ignored by the financial sector. 289 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,861 Yeah! Bensonhurst is our turf and I'm not... 290 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,869 - [GRUNTS] - ... gonna ever be able to 291 00:12:11,871 --> 00:12:13,698 chew veal parm again? 292 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,456 - You fuggin' bitch. - Hey! Whoa, whoa. 293 00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:17,634 We can be respectful while killing her. 294 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,587 Get her boys! 295 00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:34,253 Harleen! Front-sault! 296 00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:37,120 [GRUNTS] 297 00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:40,557 Arabian Double Front! 298 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,558 [EFFORT GRUNT] 299 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,062 [MOANS] 300 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,697 Backwards salto! 301 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,599 I said backwards! 302 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:53,071 [GRUNTS] 303 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:56,274 [CHUCKLES] Stuck the landing, kiddo. 304 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,354 Oh, I never shoulda 305 00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:59,494 made you lose that championship, Harleen. 306 00:12:59,496 --> 00:13:02,481 Seeing ya do that routine perfectly 307 00:13:02,483 --> 00:13:05,884 is better than any dumb 'ol finger. 308 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,183 I don't know about perfect. 309 00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:10,187 I mean stumbled a little on the landing. 310 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:13,389 [DOOR OPENS] 311 00:13:13,391 --> 00:13:14,742 Get down! 312 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,567 [GRUNTING] 313 00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:27,038 [GROANS] 314 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,341 Ugh. In case you're wonderin', 315 00:13:29,343 --> 00:13:33,843 [GASPS] I'm givin' ya a double thumbs up, champ. 316 00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:37,718 Oh... 317 00:13:37,719 --> 00:13:40,018 Pollinate me harder... 318 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,086 [MOANS] 319 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:44,022 That's all you got? [MOANS] 320 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,289 Oh... Wh... 321 00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,759 Where the hell are we? Chaz! 322 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,697 - Car, car, car! Start the car! - [ENGINE REVVING] 323 00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:54,063 - They're coming, let's move it! - [GUNSHOTS] 324 00:13:54,065 --> 00:13:57,168 Get down! [SCREAMS] 325 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,702 What the fuck is goin' on? 326 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,303 I thought you were just a weed dealer. 327 00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:01,740 Weed's legal everywhere, man. 328 00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:04,976 I'm diversifying into hallucinogenic honey. 329 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,245 Time to GTFO 'ah May-hico. 330 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:10,081 Mexico? We're supposed to be in Brooklyn. 331 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,582 Which is basically next to Mexico. 332 00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:15,187 Stop lickin' that goddamn honey and drive this car. 333 00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,422 One lick ya see God. 334 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:21,926 Two licks and ya pass out with a giant hard... [SNORING] 335 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,529 Goddammit, Chaz! 336 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,731 Okay, Frank, you've got this. 337 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:29,033 - I'm coming, Harley. - [BRAKES SCREECH] 338 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,803 Wow. Harley has been texting nonstop. 339 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,307 This last one says she feels "ducking awful". 340 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,375 [WHISPERING] I think she meant the F word. 341 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,061 "I'm super sorry. I made a mistake. 342 00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:43,114 I never wanted to hurt you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 343 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,015 Don't buy those boots". 344 00:14:45,016 --> 00:14:46,552 [SIGHS] Well, she's right about that. 345 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,285 I don't think you can pull off a kitten heel. 346 00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:49,856 You know what? I bought them, but I returned them. Okay? 347 00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:51,957 I agree with you. I'm, like, not a kitten heel person. 348 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,259 Can I just... Can I have my phone, 349 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,051 so I can... I can text her goodbye? 350 00:14:55,053 --> 00:14:58,096 Feels like you're gonna ask her to come save you. 351 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,765 Gus, are you serious? 352 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,933 You really think I would do something like that to you? 353 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,402 We have built a rapport. 354 00:15:03,404 --> 00:15:05,836 Mmm, yeah. I've seen a lot of toxic friendships 355 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,173 and the best thing to do is to just cut them loose. 356 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,610 Let me rip that band-aid off for you. 357 00:15:11,612 --> 00:15:13,009 No, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't. 358 00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:14,312 Oh. Okay. 359 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,812 And now I'll text her back. 360 00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,481 Oh, shit. 361 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,112 Oh! Ya shoulda seen my daughter. 362 00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:22,485 Doin' cartwheels, stabbin' guys in the throat. 363 00:15:22,487 --> 00:15:25,023 Ah. Oh, I was so proud. 364 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,259 Dad, ya... ya saved my life. 365 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,360 Which is very un-piece of shit like. 366 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,961 I'm tellin' ya, your father's changed. 367 00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:34,331 He gave his good thumb for you. 368 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,735 Worth it for my daughter. [CHUCKLES] 369 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,370 [GRIMACING] 370 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:42,941 Ugh, thumbs are overrated. 371 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,576 I love you. 372 00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:48,010 It's been so nice havin' ya here, honey. 373 00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:49,812 Sad to see ya go tomorrow. 374 00:15:49,814 --> 00:15:52,214 [CELL VIBRATING] 375 00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:57,489 I don't know. [EXHALES] 376 00:15:57,491 --> 00:15:59,512 There's nobody really waitin' for me in Gotham. 377 00:15:59,514 --> 00:16:01,238 I came here hopin' to spend some time with Ma, 378 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,327 but actually kind of glad we could all be here together. 379 00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:05,630 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 380 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,298 There she is. 381 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,668 - Grandpa? - Well, 382 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,836 I heard you were in town and Grandma's dead. 383 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,639 Two reasons to celebrate. 384 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,875 Also, got a checkup at the doc yesterday. 385 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,278 Says my blood pressure's through the roof. 386 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,212 [INHALES] Not sure how much longer I got. 387 00:16:23,214 --> 00:16:25,216 So let's drink. 388 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,918 [GRUNTS] 389 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,187 That blood pressure's no joke! 390 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,539 [CRASHES] 391 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,861 [GRUNTING] 392 00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,832 [HARLEEN] Ha! 393 00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:42,100 [BOTH GRUNTING] 394 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,503 Oh, my God! 395 00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:46,937 Jesus! The mob's never gonna stop. 396 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,508 But as long as I'm here, I'm gonna keep my family safe. 397 00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,975 - [GUNSHOT] - [GROANS] 398 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:54,644 [MOANING] 399 00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,711 Dad? 400 00:16:55,713 --> 00:16:57,414 [GROANING] 401 00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:00,686 Harleen, honey. I'm sorry. 402 00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:03,654 There was a million dollar bounty on ya. 403 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,958 I didn't wanna have to kill ya myself, 404 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,461 so I tipped off an assassin to collect a finder's fee. 405 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,493 Big whoop! 406 00:17:10,495 --> 00:17:11,763 But ya couldn't do it! 407 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,292 Could you, you fucking piece of shit? 408 00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:14,897 You... 409 00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:16,232 Shit person! 410 00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:17,871 You were lying to me the whole time! 411 00:17:17,873 --> 00:17:19,770 No, no, no, no, no. I was not lying. 412 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,772 I did owe the mob a lotta money. 413 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,843 I just figured while I was waitin' on the assassin to kill you, 414 00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:28,211 I could get ya to take out the mob for me. 415 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,913 What are ya doin? 416 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:33,983 All I wanted was what every Jewish mother wants, 417 00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,952 for you to marry a doctor. 418 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,390 But I am a doctor! 419 00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:39,856 And now look at ya. 420 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,759 I tried so hard to get ya to change your life 421 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,261 in the most passive aggressive way possible 422 00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:47,397 and this is the thanks I get? 423 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,134 Yellin' and fightin'? 424 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,933 But I'm your daughter. 425 00:17:50,935 --> 00:17:52,471 I know. 426 00:17:52,473 --> 00:17:55,606 That's why people spit at us at the grocery store. 427 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,375 When you became "Harley Quinn", 428 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,876 we became the laughingstock of the neighborhood. 429 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,646 Oh, oh, I'm the reason you're the laughingstock? 430 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,250 What about Dad bein' a fuckin' deadbeat? 431 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,817 It's Bensonhurst! 432 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,421 You beat an Irish and people forget a lotta things. 433 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:12,222 [EXCLAIMING IN PAIN] 434 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,991 - [HARLEY GRUNTS] - [GROANS] 435 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:18,364 [GRUNTING] Piece of shit, I'll fuckin' kill you. 436 00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,500 Ha! 437 00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:22,098 [GRUNTING] 438 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,134 [GRUNTING] 439 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,304 [NICK] Ahhh! 440 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:29,007 I do not know why you're so upset. 441 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,509 I figured you'd understand. 442 00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:33,111 After all, you're a criminal, like me. 443 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,046 I'm nothin' like you. 444 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,646 Ahhh! 445 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:38,150 Oh, sure ya are! Of course ya are! 446 00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:40,652 Ya turned on your crew just like I turned on you. 447 00:18:40,654 --> 00:18:43,953 Classic case a' samesies. 448 00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,022 - [GRUNTING] - [GROANS] 449 00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,913 - Ahhh! - No samesies! 450 00:18:46,915 --> 00:18:48,950 I didn't turn on my crew. They left me! 451 00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:50,673 Yeah, 'cause you were suckin' face 452 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:51,930 with that goyische clown. 453 00:18:51,932 --> 00:18:53,731 You've always had bad taste in men. 454 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,421 Gee, I wonder where I learned that from? 455 00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:57,567 [SCREAMS] 456 00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,337 Oh, my gift wrapping station! 457 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:03,842 [BOTH GRUNTING] 458 00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:06,676 Harleen, please don't kill your father. 459 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,313 Yeah, we're family. 460 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,248 Family doesn't kill each other. 461 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,150 - [GRUNTS] - [GROANS] 462 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,086 You people are not my family. 463 00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,287 And ya know what? 464 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,190 [GRUNTS] 465 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:22,942 You're not even worth it. 466 00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:27,816 [MOANING] 467 00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:35,405 Harley? What happened to you? 468 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:39,844 [GROANS] Uh... 469 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,413 [GASPS SOFTLY] 470 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,503 Well, look who's up. 471 00:19:44,505 --> 00:19:45,896 Harleen? 472 00:19:45,898 --> 00:19:46,989 Wha... 473 00:19:46,991 --> 00:19:48,678 How much of this am I hallucinating? 474 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,707 Just me. 475 00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,065 Weirdly the passed out guy 476 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,723 with the boner and the plant driving the car are both real. 477 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:56,094 Why did ya tell me to go back to Bensonhurst? 478 00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:57,184 In my defense, 479 00:19:57,186 --> 00:19:59,089 how could I have possibly known your parents 480 00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:01,900 would try to kill you for a million dollar bounty? 481 00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,402 Who wanted you dead, by the way? 482 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,871 No idea. Feels like it could be anyone. 483 00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:08,409 Now I got no one left. And even Ivy hates me. 484 00:20:08,411 --> 00:20:09,933 What the fuck you babblin' about? 485 00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:11,338 Ivy doesn't hate you. 486 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,340 I'm only here because Ivy says she needs you. 487 00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,480 She's been captured. It's life or death. 488 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,590 What? 489 00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:17,617 Step on it 490 00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:20,018 [BRAKES SCREECH] 491 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,691 That's when I told my mother I don't want to be a lawyer. 492 00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:28,358 My passion is early childhood education. 493 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,662 And let me tell you, she did not... 494 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,962 Oop. Doctor's here. 495 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,731 Sorry, I guess it's time for harvesting. 496 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,035 Who the fuck are you? Show me your face. 497 00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:38,537 Uh... Gonna have to settle for a bag. 498 00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:45,292 [STRAINING] 499 00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:51,700 [EXHALES] 500 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,022 Joshua! 501 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:01,081 Whatup, Bane? 502 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,662 I just saw the statement from the Legion corporate card 503 00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,628 that your Uncle Penguin gave you. 504 00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:08,099 Did you put a down payment 505 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,955 on a bounty to kill Harley Quinn? 506 00:21:10,957 --> 00:21:13,133 What? Pfft. No. 507 00:21:13,135 --> 00:21:15,640 You are a lying liar! 508 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:18,442 [YELLS] Okay, yes! She ruined my bar mitzvah. 509 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,913 I want her dead. Dead. Dead. Dead! 510 00:21:21,915 --> 00:21:25,250 The credit card is for emergencies only, 511 00:21:25,252 --> 00:21:28,118 but your bill is all candies, and vape pens, 512 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,721 and something suspiciously labeled "dolphin encounter". 513 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:35,291 When you put out a hit, you pay in cash. 514 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,859 Okay, fine, I'll cancel it. 515 00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,128 Already done 516 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,732 because I am this credit card's reckoning. 517 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:46,136 I am cutting this card and I am cutting it in half... 518 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,337 No. Please. I hate when you do this, Bane. 519 00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:49,942 - These blades are dull. - Bane! 520 00:21:49,944 --> 00:21:51,717 - I will bend it. - Don't do that. 521 00:21:51,719 --> 00:21:52,807 Too late! 522 00:21:52,809 --> 00:21:55,413 Do you think I want to be credit card paying man? 523 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,413 I have dreams, too! 524 00:21:57,415 --> 00:21:59,250 Sorry, Bane. No, you're right. 525 00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:02,288 You're right. I shouldn't have tried to kill Harley. 526 00:22:02,290 --> 00:22:05,891 Aw, I guess I was just being... impulsive. 527 00:22:05,893 --> 00:22:07,692 Because you are young. 528 00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:12,631 The road to maturity is a long one, Joshua. 529 00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:17,469 Ahhh! Goddammit! Who put that there? 530 00:22:17,471 --> 00:22:19,368 [BANE YELLS] Blow up on the ground 531 00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:23,575 you stupid office chair! 532 00:22:23,577 --> 00:22:25,832 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 533 00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:28,834 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 38272

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