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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:20,650 Apologies, Herr Hitler. Your bombers won't get through tonight. 2 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,730 Taka-taka-taka-taka-taka-taka. 3 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,210 Tooka-tooka-tooka-tooka-tooka-tooka-too. 4 00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:32,160 One down. 17 to go. 5 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,470 Dad? 6 00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:39,160 Oh, Dad, where are you? 7 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:43,250 Dad? 8 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,890 Oh, no. 9 00:00:57,260 --> 00:01:00,410 There's my grandpa. But he wasn't always this confused. 10 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,090 Take this, Jerry! Taka-taka-taka-taka... 11 00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:06,980 He was once the Royal Air Force's bravest Spitfire pilot. 12 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,530 That was during World War II 13 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:14,250 but our story takes place 40 years later, in the 1980s. 14 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,530 I wasn't like the other kids at school, 15 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,740 I didn't want a Rubik's Cube or a mullet. 16 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,860 I was happiest with my World War II model planes from Grandpa's stories. 17 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:27,770 The best day of the week was always Saturday -- 18 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:31,570 that was the day that me and my sister Shelley would see Grandpa. 19 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,810 If we were really lucky, he would take us to the war museum. 20 00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,890 It was him or me -- I press on my machineguns. 21 00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:41,170 The air was filled with bullets, smoke, fire, I'd hit my first 22 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:47,410 Messerschmitt, the Luftwaffe pilot who parachuted down, I let him be. 23 00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:49,930 Then it was back to base and Grandpa would take us 24 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,730 on a top-secret mission. 25 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,210 Right, off we go, canopy secure? 26 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,490 - Check. - Fuel gauge on full? 27 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:58,530 - Check. - Up, up and away! 28 00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:00,580 Up, up and away! 29 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,130 It was the happiest of times. Up, up and away! 30 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,290 But times changed. 31 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:17,010 Grandpa became more forgetful. 32 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:24,010 He'd forget he'd made a cup of tea... 33 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,930 .. and make another one. 34 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,780 So I tried to help. 35 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,020 Every week, I got his shopping. 36 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,580 Waiter, this is corked. 37 00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:55,890 In spite of his medication, Grandpa wasn't getting any better. 38 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:58,340 In fact, he was getting worse. 39 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:02,690 Morning, Grandpa, time for your doctor's appointment. 40 00:03:02,740 --> 00:03:05,290 We'll just wait for Peggy. 41 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,650 My dear wife Peggy, just getting ready. 42 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,300 She won't be a minute. 43 00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,370 Peggy's not here, Grandpa. 44 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,100 She died during the war. 45 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:18,820 Did she? 46 00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,340 My darling Peggy. 47 00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:35,140 It's OK, Grandpa, I'll look after you. 48 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,530 I wish I could say my family helped with Grandpa, 49 00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:47,930 but they had their own things going on. 50 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:52,480 This is my sister, she got older and was only interested in Duran Duran. 51 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,380 Marry me, Simon Le Bon. 52 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,450 Mum was a high roller in the beauty business. 53 00:03:58,500 --> 00:03:59,900 Avon calling! 54 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:05,370 Dad worked for the council. 55 00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:08,290 He always claimed he was head of road maintenance 56 00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:11,170 but Mum said he was in charge of traffic cones. 57 00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:14,090 It certainly was his favourite topic of conversation. 58 00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:17,410 So guess where traffic cones were first used in the UK. 59 00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,010 Nobody cares, Barry. 60 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,650 No, the correct answer is the M6. 61 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,970 Occasionally, it was like it used to be. 62 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,570 How fast is that Spitfire going, Grandpa? 63 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:31,290 Top speed 360 miles an hour, near enough. 64 00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:36,410 I'd give anything... anything to fly one again. 65 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:39,210 The funny thing was, Grandpa wasn't confused 66 00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:43,140 when he talked about the war and that gave me an idea. 67 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,050 Good morning, Wing Commander. 68 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,410 Squadron Leader. 69 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:51,410 The medical officer wants to know if you've had your energy pills today? 70 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,930 Righty-ho, down the hatch. 71 00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:56,690 I'd just pretend the war was still on. 72 00:04:56,740 --> 00:04:58,610 Anything further from air command? 73 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:02,010 They want us to keep physically fit for the coming battle. 74 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:05,250 - Kick about in the park? - Good call. 75 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,010 Which was fine -- when it was just Grandpa and me. 76 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,890 But harder with all the family. 77 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:16,380 Now, the story behind making traffic cones orange is a fascinating one. 78 00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,610 - This tea's off. - That's gravy, Dad. 79 00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:24,860 Dad? You're not my son, my son's a little, little baby. 80 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:28,930 Whatever next? 81 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:33,130 He's got worse, much worse. He'd be best off in a... 82 00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:34,930 (.. home.) 83 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:38,410 He is in a home, Mum. HIS home and he's happy there. 84 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,780 He's drinking from the gravy boat, Jack, the gravy boat! 85 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,650 - Wing Commander? - Squadron Leader? 86 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,890 You're in the mess hall and the charlady... 87 00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:50,010 - I beg your pardon? - .. has just served up your rations. 88 00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:52,180 Oh, oh, I see, jolly good. 89 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:55,970 I don't know if you should be pretending it's the war, Jack. 90 00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:59,060 What if he attacks that nice German lady who works in Bejam's? 91 00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:06,290 This food is diabolical. 92 00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:09,820 Then we can have the charlady taken out and shot! 93 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:13,290 I'm trying to help. 94 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,490 So we tried to play along and that worked out for a while 95 00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,210 until one night, 96 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:20,860 Dad found Grandpa sitting on the church roof. 97 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:28,420 Love? He's on the church roof this time. 98 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,620 I don't know how he got up there. 99 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:34,850 There's only one person who can get him down. 100 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,370 You are joking? This is a saga now. 101 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:40,490 We need Jack, you know how close he is to his grandpa. 102 00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,010 It's too late. 103 00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,730 Jack's got a geography test tomorrow 104 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:45,570 and I've got a ton of make-up to shift. 105 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:47,970 Or do you want a garage full of unsold Bucks Fizz eyeshadow? 106 00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:51,370 I'm going to help Grandpa, Mum, it's up to you if you come or not. 107 00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:53,460 Well, let me get this off first. 108 00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,140 Come on, Mum! 109 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:08,810 What time do you call this? 110 00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:10,530 Mum, stop ruining everything for me. 111 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,530 We will have words later, young lady. 112 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,250 Are you Shelley's sister? 113 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,330 No, silly, I'm her mum but I know, I look young for my age. 114 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:19,850 And you must be...? 115 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:23,140 Dazza, but I do often get mistaken for Simon Le Bon. 116 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,930 Oh, yeah, I bet you do. 117 00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,290 Mum? 118 00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,450 I want you in bed in one minute. 119 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,260 Goodnight, Mrs Shelley's mum. 120 00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:33,980 I can see you. 121 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:45,050 He's gone completely cuckoo. 122 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,500 Oh, Jack, help him, please. 123 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:51,660 What in St Peter's name is going on here? 124 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,770 Get down off my roof, you vandal! 125 00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:01,970 Think you're a good shot, hey? We'll see about that! 126 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,890 My father gets a little confused sometimes. 127 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:09,170 Confused? He's certifiable. What if he falls off? 128 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:12,010 I don't want to spend me morning scooping him up. 129 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,050 You want us to fetch the air rifle, Reverend? 130 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,530 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that'll bring him down. 131 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,740 - That worked for the pigeons, didn't it? - No, please, just wait. 132 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:23,530 Wing Commander, this is base, over. 133 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:26,890 What? this is Wing Commander, reading you loud and clear. 134 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,090 Your mission has been a great success, return to base. 135 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,780 Roger that! 136 00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:45,460 Oh, hang on, hang on, he's going to fall... 137 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,740 Oh. Well, I never. 138 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,530 Fall out, men. 139 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,090 Wing Commander, let me escort you to your transport, 140 00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:04,010 there's drinks in the officers' mess. 141 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:06,170 Yeah, just the job, Squadron Leader. 142 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:08,890 Oh, no, oh, no. 143 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:12,660 No, no, I'm fine. Shouldn't have eaten that pickled egg. 144 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,770 Poor soul. 145 00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:22,450 I do bring a lot of comfort to the old and the infirm of the parish. 146 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,370 I'd love to help, if I could. 147 00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:27,050 We just want what's best for us, I mean -- him. 148 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,530 Yeah, I mean, there is the most wonderful care home nearby, 149 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:32,220 Twilight Towers. 150 00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,690 I don't think he'd like that. 151 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:40,570 Oh, no -- it's heavenly, it's like Disneyland for coffin dodgers. 152 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:43,610 Grandpa's not going in a home. 153 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:46,970 Yeah, trouble is, it's very often very, very full. 154 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,410 What a shame. 155 00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,410 But then, I have a very good relationship with Miss Dandy, 156 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:56,490 what runs Twilight Towers, she just might be able to squeeze him in. 157 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,490 - Perfect. - No! 158 00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:01,130 No, we need to discuss this as a family first. 159 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:04,170 Might be too late but, yeah, of course. 160 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,810 Oh, yeah, why don't you take with you this, er, colour 161 00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:10,690 brochure of Twilight Towers and this is for you, boy. 162 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,770 They say it's a little... gonk. 163 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,700 It's got googly eyes... 164 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,460 .. just like your grandad. 165 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,370 That's lovely. Goodnight. 166 00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:27,260 Oh, goodnight, God bless you, God bless you, obviously. 167 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,370 It looks lovely, 168 00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,490 it's more like a hotel than somewhere you get put to die. 169 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:42,010 Charlady, this is the worst roast beef I have ever tasted. 170 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:43,850 It's not roast beef, 171 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:47,300 it's fish pie, and for the last time, I'm not your charlady. 172 00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:52,220 Your son has something to tell you. 173 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,770 We had a new order of traffic cones in, they're reflective. 174 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,980 Barry! 175 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,020 You know we all love you very much? 176 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,180 But the thing is, it... 177 00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:12,050 Spit it out, airman, choppity-chop. 178 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,810 After what happened last week, we thought it might be best if... 179 00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,050 - If you came here to live with us. - You what? 180 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,850 He could share my bedroom. 181 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,890 - Well, we can't cope with him here. - Well, it's not a bad idea. 182 00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,450 Er, he'd better not hog the bathroom, 183 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:27,490 - it takes me ages to crimp my hair in the mornings. - I'm sorry, but... 184 00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:30,100 I accept, though the catering had better improve. 185 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,980 I'll tell the charlady. 186 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,570 Where am I going, again? 187 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,810 Our house, Dad. You're coming to live with us. 188 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:48,090 On a trial basis. 189 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,740 Yeah, I live here, Peggy won't know where I've got to. 190 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,380 Son? 191 00:11:57,380 --> 00:11:59,050 Wing Commander... 192 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,370 .. due to enemy activity, the air commander wants you to 193 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,090 lodge at alternative quarters. 194 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:05,260 Why didn't they just say? 195 00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:16,690 Charity shop, sale, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, rub... 196 00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,700 This is not rubbish. 197 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:23,650 Wing Commander? Let me take you to the tuck shop. 198 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,580 Oh, jolly good. 199 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:36,050 Ah-ha, my two favourite customers, Mr Bumting and Master Bumting. 200 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,650 It's Bunting. 201 00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,490 Bumting, like I said. 202 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:41,210 Hello there, Quartermaster. 203 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,900 I have very special offer for today, 15 cans of... 204 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,690 .. Quatro -- for the price of 14. 205 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,530 Er, no thanks. 206 00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:56,260 What has a hazelnut in every bite? Topic! 207 00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:01,060 Or any of these other bars which melted in the window with it. 208 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,530 I'm quite partial to a Smartie. 209 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:09,570 Those I have, both -- traditional and limited edition green ones. 210 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,530 Really, they're mouldy Revels. 211 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,730 Er, standard issue will be fine. 212 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,170 Er, you will find them 213 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:18,120 under the puzzle magazines next to the correcting fluid. 214 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,220 You look troubled, Master Bumting. 215 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,370 Grandpa's coming to live with us. 216 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,090 Splendid. 217 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,530 I just, I worry about whether it'll work out. 218 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:38,290 Do not fret, Indian families always take in the older generation, 219 00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:42,490 it works without fail, even when Auntie Pia sings Wham Rap 220 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:46,740 at the top of her voice when I'm trying to watch the snooker. 221 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:54,700 Either Grandpa comes to live with us or he'll be sent to Twilight Towers. 222 00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:58,130 Oh, no. 223 00:13:58,180 --> 00:13:59,530 What? 224 00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:03,570 Oh, no, no. I've heard very bad things about Twilight Towers. 225 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:07,140 - What? - They say the only way out of that place is... 226 00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:09,980 .. in a coffin. 227 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,450 ♪ Do you really want to hurt me... ♪ 228 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,540 What a fine-looking woman. 229 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,450 We can't leave him in the house on his own. 230 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,850 No. 231 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,450 Well, what are we going to do? 232 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,050 Tomorrow's the launch of the Country Diary Of An Edwardian Lady 233 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,450 roll-on deodorant. 234 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,650 Well, I've got a really big day at work tomorrow, 235 00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,130 I've got to test all the new traffic cones. 236 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,610 - Have I ever told you how I judge them? - Many times. 237 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,810 Durability, colour, attractive shape. 238 00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,370 Why did I marry you? 239 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,170 - Jack, you're going on a school trip tomorrow? - Yep. 240 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:46,890 Well, you'll have to take Grandpa with you. Where are you going? 241 00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:48,850 - War museum. - Perfect. 242 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,900 You can take him along. He loves a bit of war. 243 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:58,300 Fine replicas, Squadron Leader. 244 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,810 I wish they were real. 245 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,370 The Spitfire's like nothing else, 246 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,210 you can turn on a sixpence. 247 00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:08,050 Grandpa? When you... 248 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,810 Er, we need to listen out for enemy aircraft. 249 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:18,930 That's Shelley's stupid boyfriend Dazza. 250 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,770 Mum, I mean, the air commander, says lights out by 9:00. 251 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:26,050 I hope you don't snore, I can't abide snorers. 252 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,530 - I don't think I do. - Well, goodnight, Squadron Leader 253 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:33,530 and thank you for sharing your quarters, very decent of you. 254 00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:35,740 Glad to help, sir. Goodnight. 255 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:21,050 Right, everyone, Rubik's Cubes down! Eyes up, looking! 256 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,530 Looking! 257 00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:27,170 I want to remind everyone that this is an educational trip, 258 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:30,130 we will not have a repeat of the tomfoolery at the zoo... 259 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:34,050 I don't want to find a live penguin in Gavin Macey's rucksack! 260 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,370 Got that? 261 00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:36,970 Good. 262 00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:39,210 You're not in year six, why are you here? 263 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:40,490 He's my grandpa, Miss. 264 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,770 Yeah, I can surmise that. 265 00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:44,540 He was a Spitfire pilot in the war. 266 00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,970 Well, if he promises to be educational, he can come. 267 00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:49,330 Thank you, Miss. 268 00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:51,330 Now, everyone has a questionnaire... 269 00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:55,730 And nobody is allowed in the gift shop 270 00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:59,810 until it has been filled out and that is a fact, am I clear? 271 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:02,060 Yes, Miss Verity. 272 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:06,770 Good. And here's yours, coach driver. Neatest handwriting, please. 273 00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:10,700 Right, everyone off, please, no talking, no laughing, no dawdling. 274 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,370 Oi, you lot, don't climb on the tanks. 275 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,570 I've been here before. 276 00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:23,250 Yes, you have, many times. You took me, Grandpa, do you remember? 277 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:27,170 What's my Spitfire doing hanging from the ceiling? 278 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,490 - What's wrong with your grandad? - Nothing. 279 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:32,140 These, these pilots are very young. 280 00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:35,210 New recruits. 281 00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:36,530 Ah. 282 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,100 Oh, I see. 283 00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:47,530 How are you getting on? Are you stuck? 284 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,930 The stupid answer's not on the stupid board. 285 00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:52,930 I can help you with that. I was there. 286 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:57,650 You see, the Nazis wanted to bomb the life out of us, 287 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,530 so they could invade and take us over. 288 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,250 Herr Hitler sent huge squadrons of Junkers 289 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:08,210 and Messerschmitts over the coast, the sky was black with them. 290 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,970 RAF pilots had to stop the Nazi bombers from getting through -- 291 00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:16,410 we were young and frightened, not, 292 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:18,930 well, not that much older than you are. 293 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:23,210 My squadron was the first to be scrambled up, up and away. 294 00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:26,690 I pushed my Spitfire past 300mph. 295 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,170 Wow. 296 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:32,930 It... You see, they outnumbered us, oh, four to one, 297 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:38,140 so to stand any chance, we had to get above them before they got here. 298 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:42,290 We waited up there until the enemy were so close 299 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:46,570 we could see the swastikas on their tails and then I gave the order... 300 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:49,940 .. DIVE! 301 00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,570 When did all this happen, exactly? 302 00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:59,570 Sorry? 303 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:03,930 The children need dates for the exam. Facts, facts and more facts. 304 00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,930 Facts are all that matter. 305 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:09,810 Oh, well it was, er, yeah, last Monday. 306 00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,410 I hardly think so! 307 00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:17,450 No, no, oh, no, no, sorry -- I tell a lie, er, last, er, last Sunday. 308 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,370 All right, settle down, everyone. 309 00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:22,610 The Battle of Britain was not last Sunday, it took place 310 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,610 between July and October 1940, make a note of that, class. 311 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,250 That's what I'm saying! 312 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,490 Jack, I'm sure your grandfather means well 313 00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:35,010 but he is a very old and confused man. 314 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,250 Hey, maybe he did do something during the war, 315 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,570 but I very much doubt that he was a Spitfire pilot. 316 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:42,370 He was. 317 00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:43,900 Can I have a word? In private. 318 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:58,170 You grandfather is not welcome on any more school trips. 319 00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,490 But Miss! 320 00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,500 That is a fact. 321 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,210 Right, class, this way, please! 322 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,580 Turn to question 98 in your questionnaire... 323 00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:15,700 Grandpa? 324 00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:22,180 - Grandpa! - Psst! 325 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,060 Up here, Squadron Leader. 326 00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:30,010 What are you doing up there? 327 00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:33,490 Looking for my log book, I wanted to prove that awful woman wrong. 328 00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:36,410 It's wonderful to be back in my plane again, 329 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:39,210 they won't mind if I took her for a spin, would they? 330 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:41,410 Um, I think they might. 331 00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,330 Oi, what are you playing at? 332 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,060 Look out, it's the SS. 333 00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:54,590 Code... Man, man in a plane, repeat code -- man in a plane. 334 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,090 Take him down, Squadron Leader. 335 00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:58,030 I'll make a break for it. 336 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,150 I can't take him down, he's ginormous. 337 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,100 That is really hurtful. 338 00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:15,890 Jack! You tell your grandfather to come down this... 339 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:20,970 - .. instant. - You fell on my face! 340 00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:22,450 Run for it! 341 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,730 ♪ When I'm with you, baby 342 00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:33,490 ♪ I go out of my head 343 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:35,250 ♪ And I just can't get enough 344 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:37,250 ♪ And I just can't get enough 345 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:38,970 ♪ All the things you do to me 346 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:40,970 ♪ And everything you said 347 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:43,130 ♪ I just can't get enough 348 00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:45,010 ♪ I just can't get enough 349 00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:46,570 ♪ And when it rains 350 00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:48,450 ♪ You're shining down for me 351 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,170 ♪ I just can't get enough 352 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:51,980 ♪ I just can't get enough. ♪ 353 00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:56,290 Sugar. 354 00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:58,290 We've been sat in here waiting for ages. 355 00:21:58,340 --> 00:22:01,490 Yes... Classic Gestapo mind games. 356 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:04,450 Prisoner of war camp for me, as long as it's not Colditz. 357 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,690 I won't let them take you away. 358 00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,370 Sorry I've let you down, old chap. 359 00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:12,940 You didn't and you never will. 360 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:18,290 Mum, Dad, you can't let Grandpa be thrown into prison. 361 00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,730 Well, it's not up to us, the police told us what happened. 362 00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:23,280 Your grandfather damaged a very valuable plane. 363 00:22:26,260 --> 00:22:28,250 I don't think there'll be any need for prison. 364 00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:31,250 Let me make a call for you, shall I? 365 00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:33,250 Oh, thank you, Reverend. 366 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,540 We are so pleased to see you. 367 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:42,770 Hello, Miss Dandy? Yeah, it's me. 368 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:46,060 I have a gentleman here in desperate need of help. 369 00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:49,970 No, well, I can sort everything here with the duty sergeant 370 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,930 at the police station but might you, 371 00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:57,820 as a huge favour to me, be able to squeeze him in to Twilight Towers? 372 00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:00,300 Colditz. 373 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,530 She's gone to find out. 374 00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:06,180 Oh, she's... She's coming back, that's quick, innit? 375 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,130 Oh, you can, oh, you can, oh, that's marvellous, 376 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,770 you're a life-saver, Miss Dandy. 377 00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:14,770 Thank you. 378 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:17,090 Oh, rejoice, rejoice. 379 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:20,530 Thank you so much, Vicar. You are a good man. 380 00:23:20,580 --> 00:23:23,860 Oh, thank you, thank you. Anything for my flock. 381 00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:28,620 - But.. - Would you rather he went to prison, boy? Huh? Huh? 382 00:23:31,420 --> 00:23:33,090 No... 383 00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,890 You enjoying your toad in the hole, Dazza? 384 00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:57,090 Oh, delicious, Mrs Shelley's mum. 385 00:23:57,140 --> 00:24:00,010 I think it might be the nicest dinner I've ever had. 386 00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:01,770 Oh. 387 00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:03,540 A bit OTT? 388 00:24:07,140 --> 00:24:08,490 Is that my beer? 389 00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:10,660 He's our guest, Dad? 390 00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,610 Can we go and see Grandpa after dinner? 391 00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:17,490 No, Jack, he'll be too busy in his new place. 392 00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,620 All those baskets to weave. 393 00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:23,090 Shelley tells me you work at the garage? 394 00:24:23,140 --> 00:24:26,010 Yeah, I used to be YTS but they took me on full time 395 00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:29,210 because an Austin Princess fell on Mark Lansom's leg! 396 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:30,770 Oh, that was a stroke of luck. 397 00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:34,530 So, don't tell me, you must be a model. 398 00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:38,810 No, but I have been known to grace the cover of the Avon brochure. 399 00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:40,770 Mum! 400 00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:43,130 Oh, you'll have to give me one. 401 00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:46,050 I'll stick it on the wall at work, next to Linda Lusardi. 402 00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,140 Absolutely not! 403 00:24:49,860 --> 00:24:52,770 - Let me see if I can find you one. - Mum! 404 00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:55,890 - Oi, Barry, do us a favour. - What? 405 00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:58,780 Get rid of all the traffic cones between my gaff and work! 406 00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:03,170 That would be against the traffic cone code of conduct. 407 00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:05,100 I bet that's interesting reading! 408 00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:15,490 Ah. 409 00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:18,100 How do we know if Grandpa's too busy? 410 00:25:19,460 --> 00:25:21,090 He needs a rest, love. 411 00:25:21,140 --> 00:25:24,900 We didn't want to tell you, son, but Grandpa has a... 412 00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:26,980 .. weak heart. 413 00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,020 But... he's going to be all right? 414 00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:38,570 I do kung fu. 415 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,490 How wonderful for you. 416 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:43,290 Yeah, I'll teach you if you like, junior, learn from the master. 417 00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:44,650 Oh. 418 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,730 No, thanks. 419 00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:49,890 Well, you ever get in trouble, you know where to come. 420 00:25:49,940 --> 00:25:53,730 I'm like a kung fu expert, I've seen Enter The Dragon 17 times. 421 00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:55,850 Wow. 422 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,250 Yeah. 423 00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:59,730 Um, I've got to go up and do my homework. 424 00:25:59,780 --> 00:26:00,930 Homework? 425 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:03,580 I never bothered with homework. 426 00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:10,130 Which I deeply regret, because you should always, 427 00:26:10,180 --> 00:26:12,500 always do your homework. 428 00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:16,300 You know, unless Knight Rider's on. 429 00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:21,860 He's had three. He's had three. 430 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:11,290 What? 431 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:15,050 Er, hello, I was hoping to visit my grandfather. 432 00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:17,090 We're closed for visitors. 433 00:27:17,140 --> 00:27:18,580 Please. 434 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,850 Matron! 435 00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:28,660 Urgh. 436 00:27:36,340 --> 00:27:37,770 Can I help you, boy? 437 00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:40,250 I'm here to visit my grandfather, Mr Bunting. 438 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:41,530 Oh, the new arrival. 439 00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:43,610 We'll, he'll just have had his yummy pills 440 00:27:43,660 --> 00:27:46,090 and now he'll be having his super snooze. 441 00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:49,450 Is he all right? We're really close. 442 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,130 Really? Because he hasn't mentioned you. 443 00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:53,810 Nurse Blossom, Nurse Rose, 444 00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:56,490 has Mr Bunting mentioned his grandson at all? 445 00:27:56,540 --> 00:27:57,650 Nah. 446 00:27:57,700 --> 00:28:00,490 No, I think Grandpa's forgotten all about you. 447 00:28:00,540 --> 00:28:02,330 No, he can't have. 448 00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:05,210 Visiting hours are between 3:00 and 3:15 every alternate Sunday. 449 00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:07,580 Until then, kindly bog off. 450 00:28:20,940 --> 00:28:23,050 Right, it's time to go, everyone. Hurry up. 451 00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:25,090 I've barely touched my Viennetta. 452 00:28:25,140 --> 00:28:27,330 Come on, Shelley, we need to go visit Grandpa. 453 00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:29,770 I'm not coming, I've got to tape the charts. 454 00:28:29,820 --> 00:28:33,090 And I need to test this lip liner on next door's cat. 455 00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:34,740 Oh, come on, Mum. 456 00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:54,010 Oh, I don't know, look at all the balloons. 457 00:28:57,060 --> 00:28:59,330 Welcome, welcome. 458 00:28:59,380 --> 00:29:01,610 Are you having a party today? 459 00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,210 Every day is party day at Twilight Towers. 460 00:29:04,260 --> 00:29:05,900 Oh, come in and see for yourself. 461 00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:51,020 Yes, we do like to give the old folk the very best time. 462 00:29:52,060 --> 00:29:55,490 I mean, we can't be sure how much time they've got left. 463 00:29:55,540 --> 00:29:58,450 Which reminds me, did you bring Mr Bunting's documentation, 464 00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,570 the passport, the driving licence, the will? 465 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:03,050 Yes, yes, of course. 466 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:05,820 Put them all in the study with the rest of them, please. 467 00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:12,370 Well, what a lovely visit, we'll see you again in two weeks. 468 00:30:12,420 --> 00:30:13,530 Where's Grandpa? 469 00:30:13,580 --> 00:30:16,050 He's very, very tired, he didn't want to see you. 470 00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,170 I don't believe you. 471 00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,260 Nurse Blossom! 472 00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:23,580 Will you fetch Mr Bunting? 473 00:30:26,740 --> 00:30:29,060 You're a very demanding boy. 474 00:30:35,820 --> 00:30:37,780 Dad? 475 00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:41,650 Dad? 476 00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:42,930 Are you there? 477 00:30:42,980 --> 00:30:46,500 We bought you a soap on a rope. 478 00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:51,580 - I've got your favourite sweets. - Oh, he's fast asleep, bless. 479 00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:54,900 What have they done to you? 480 00:30:57,780 --> 00:31:01,130 Um, I think I might take Grandpa out into the garden, 481 00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:03,900 the air might perk him up a little bit. 482 00:31:11,180 --> 00:31:12,610 All clear, Wing Commander. 483 00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:16,050 Sorry about that, Squadron Leader, er, I'll have those now. 484 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:19,770 Er, had to pretend to be asleep, the guards here in Colditz, 485 00:31:19,820 --> 00:31:21,620 they force feed us sleeping pills. 486 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,500 We get given them morning and night. 487 00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:37,010 Luckily, I managed to hide mine under my moustache. 488 00:31:37,060 --> 00:31:40,810 Three nights ago, I undertook a reconnaissance mission. 489 00:31:40,860 --> 00:31:46,290 I saw the Kommandant doing something very strange with a pile of papers. 490 00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:49,900 I leave all my worldly goods to... 491 00:31:51,820 --> 00:31:54,900 She must be forging the wills, taking all the money. 492 00:31:56,980 --> 00:31:59,620 Then I found a room with valuables in it. 493 00:32:02,940 --> 00:32:04,740 And a number of coffins. 494 00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,900 Could there be some mysterious connection? 495 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,170 I'm not sure it's that mysterious. 496 00:32:13,220 --> 00:32:16,210 Well, since then, they've increased the patrols. 497 00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:19,330 We have to break you out. 498 00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:22,330 Too right, we do, but the trouble is they're suspicious, 499 00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:24,930 they've increased my sleeping pill dose as well, 500 00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:28,410 my moustache isn't big enough to hide them all, look, see, 501 00:32:28,460 --> 00:32:30,820 they're like sweets, they don't taste as nice. 502 00:32:32,420 --> 00:32:35,820 Then why not take these instead? You could switch them. 503 00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:39,050 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, genius. 504 00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:43,450 Raj had a special offer, 11 tubes for the price of 12. 505 00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:46,090 Yes, you're going to have to work on your maths, Squadron Leader. 506 00:32:46,140 --> 00:32:49,530 - No, these are just the ticket. - What else do you need? 507 00:32:49,580 --> 00:32:52,610 Well, any escape attempt requires string, lots of string. 508 00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:53,890 String. 509 00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:55,530 Do you have a Browning revolver? 510 00:32:55,580 --> 00:32:57,770 - Er, no. - Arsenic? - I don't think so. 511 00:32:57,820 --> 00:32:59,690 - Flame-thrower? - Tricky. 512 00:32:59,740 --> 00:33:02,050 Then, just make sure you've plenty of string. 513 00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:04,210 More string. When will we do it? 514 00:33:04,260 --> 00:33:07,330 Well, I've to finish my map, compile a weather report 515 00:33:07,380 --> 00:33:10,330 and I'm halfway through a jigsaw of Big Ben at twilight. 516 00:33:10,380 --> 00:33:12,460 There's quite a lot of sky to fill in. 517 00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:16,250 Tomorrow night? 518 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:21,170 Now, Squadron Leader, are you sure you volunteer for this mission? 519 00:33:21,220 --> 00:33:22,970 It will be dangerous. 520 00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:25,130 - I'll be here. - Brave chap. 521 00:33:25,180 --> 00:33:27,410 Ah, there you are! 522 00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,210 Still nattering 31 seconds 523 00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:32,250 after visiting hours have actually finished. 524 00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:34,850 Gramps, you must be exhausted. 525 00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:37,420 What you really need now is a very long nap. 526 00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:40,530 - See you soon, Dad. - Take care. 527 00:33:40,580 --> 00:33:45,370 Don't worry, I shall be keeping a very close eye on him day and night. 528 00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:55,130 Why wouldn't you come and see Grandpa? 529 00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:58,690 - Shut up, you're talking over Duran Duran. - I don't care. 530 00:33:58,740 --> 00:34:00,530 Blah, blah, blah, I'm Simon Le Bon 531 00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:03,480 and I've got a stupid French name, even though I'm from Pinner. 532 00:34:05,180 --> 00:34:08,010 Why don't you care about Grandpa any more? 533 00:34:08,060 --> 00:34:12,290 I did care about him, I did, but he's not Grandpa any more, 534 00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:15,650 he's someone else, it's scary. 535 00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:17,490 No. 536 00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:20,540 He's still Grandpa and he cares about us like he always did... 537 00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,580 .. even if you don't. 538 00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:10,050 ♪ It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it... ♪ 539 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:12,530 - Dazza? - Oh. hello. 540 00:35:14,660 --> 00:35:18,420 You said if I was ever in trouble, you'd teach me kung fu. 541 00:35:20,460 --> 00:35:25,010 Yes, grasshopper, er, listen to the master. 542 00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:28,850 So the secret of kung fu is that you have to hit 543 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:32,540 someone as hard as you can and shout kung fu. 544 00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:35,500 All right, kung fu! 545 00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:41,060 So... you don't know kung fu? 546 00:35:43,740 --> 00:35:47,090 - Great. Don't tell Shelley I've been here. - Well, where are you going? 547 00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:49,570 To see Grandpa, but don't tell her that. 548 00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:51,770 - Do tell her or don't tell her? - Don't. 549 00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:54,100 Don't do tell her or do don't tell her? 550 00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:15,660 Twit-twoo! 551 00:37:25,780 --> 00:37:29,900 .. Event of my inevitable death, the sole beneficiary... 552 00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:34,890 Me. 553 00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:36,060 Grab it. 554 00:37:37,740 --> 00:37:39,890 - It's made from... - Ladies' knickers, yes. 555 00:37:39,940 --> 00:37:41,050 Where did you get them all? 556 00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:44,010 Well, well, they're not mine, if that's what you're trying to say. 557 00:37:44,060 --> 00:37:48,810 - Come on. - I'm not going to escape in my pyjamas -- the shame! 558 00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:50,140 We don't have long! 559 00:37:55,740 --> 00:37:57,850 Wing Commander! Ready? 560 00:37:57,900 --> 00:38:00,260 Er, absolutely. Just one little thing... 561 00:38:07,060 --> 00:38:08,690 Orderly fashion, please. 562 00:38:08,740 --> 00:38:10,850 How many people have you got up there? 563 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:14,450 Er, not more than 20. I... I shared out my Smarties. 564 00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:15,810 But, Grandpa! 565 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:19,700 No buts. It's every British prisoner of war's duty to escape. 566 00:38:22,220 --> 00:38:23,970 Right, everybody, who's first? 567 00:38:24,020 --> 00:38:26,610 Would you put the kettle on? I'm parched. 568 00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:29,210 Would anyone like a game of contract whist? 569 00:38:29,260 --> 00:38:31,740 Oh, this is hatch is too small. 570 00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:42,930 Excuse me -- is there a powder room in the vicinity? 571 00:38:42,980 --> 00:38:44,100 I beg your pardon? 572 00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:48,180 I wish to visit the lavatorium. 573 00:38:50,940 --> 00:38:52,220 I'm desperate for a wazz! 574 00:38:53,460 --> 00:38:56,090 You'll just have to hold it in for a little while, madam, for King 575 00:38:56,140 --> 00:38:57,210 and country. 576 00:38:57,260 --> 00:38:59,490 Come on! What are you doing? 577 00:38:59,540 --> 00:39:01,890 There's no need to be irate, dear. 578 00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:04,940 - What did he say? - You all have to get down now. 579 00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:09,010 Where are we going? 580 00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:13,170 We could be down already, if you stopped barking at us. 581 00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:15,810 I can't do it, I can't abide heights. 582 00:39:15,860 --> 00:39:18,410 Well, it's just like riding a bike. 583 00:39:18,460 --> 00:39:23,140 I've never ridden a bike. Perhaps if YOU could show me... 584 00:39:24,220 --> 00:39:25,260 Very well. 585 00:39:37,860 --> 00:39:40,530 - I didn't mean leave me. - I'll catch you. 586 00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:43,530 - Do you promise? - Absolutely. 587 00:39:43,580 --> 00:39:44,940 Well, in that case... 588 00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:47,620 .. here I come! 589 00:39:58,100 --> 00:39:59,410 You see? 590 00:39:59,460 --> 00:40:00,740 Nothing to worry about. 591 00:40:02,260 --> 00:40:04,220 My foot's caught in the gusset! 592 00:40:07,620 --> 00:40:09,140 Oh, dear. 593 00:40:15,140 --> 00:40:18,580 - Did she see you? - No, I think I got away with it. 594 00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:29,450 Quick, head east-northeast. 595 00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:31,450 Well, that way. 596 00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:33,730 We'll never make it past the searchlights. 597 00:40:33,780 --> 00:40:35,500 You will if we create a diversion. 598 00:40:40,620 --> 00:40:43,090 Come on find them, find them... Find them now! 599 00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:44,770 Over here! 600 00:40:44,820 --> 00:40:46,730 Ah, I should've known. 601 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:49,330 A mass escape attempt with you as the ringleader. 602 00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:52,050 It was all my idea. Please let Grandpa go. 603 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:54,090 This young chap had nothing to do with it, 604 00:40:54,140 --> 00:40:55,530 I claim full responsibility. 605 00:40:55,580 --> 00:40:58,250 Oh, shut up. Do you know what this is? 606 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:01,010 - Looks like a toasting fork. - It's a cattle prod! 607 00:41:01,060 --> 00:41:03,450 - Where'd you get that? - It was a birthday present. 608 00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:05,170 That's a funny sort of birthday present. 609 00:41:05,220 --> 00:41:07,530 - It's what I asked for! - Pfft. 610 00:41:07,580 --> 00:41:09,410 It can knock a man out cold... 611 00:41:11,740 --> 00:41:14,370 Torture is strictly forbidden on prisoners of war. 612 00:41:14,420 --> 00:41:15,980 You'll never dare use it. 613 00:41:17,540 --> 00:41:20,010 Which one of you was responsible for dishing out the sleeping 614 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,650 pills this afternoon? 615 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:22,740 Me, Miss. 616 00:41:28,540 --> 00:41:31,210 - It's a chap! - Yes, hadn't you noticed? 617 00:41:31,260 --> 00:41:34,130 No, and I've been caught out a few times before, come to think of it. 618 00:41:34,180 --> 00:41:36,730 Get them. Go on. 619 00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:38,370 Kung fu! 620 00:41:38,420 --> 00:41:39,940 Oh! 621 00:41:41,180 --> 00:41:42,610 It works. 622 00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:45,340 Well done, Squad... He's a chap, as well. 623 00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:48,810 - Charge, recharge! - What shall we do now? 624 00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:50,810 Well, we've got to keep them away from the POWs. 625 00:41:50,860 --> 00:41:53,020 - Let go of my foot! - So up here! 626 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:56,220 Let go! 627 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,490 Where now? 628 00:42:05,540 --> 00:42:07,260 I haven't thought that far ahead. 629 00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:14,170 We're not giving up without a fight, Herr Kommandant. 630 00:42:14,220 --> 00:42:15,730 Kommandant? 631 00:42:15,780 --> 00:42:18,170 I think you must've lost what remains of your tiny mind. 632 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:19,570 The war was over 40 years ago. 633 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:26,210 You're nothing but a sad... little... old man. 634 00:42:27,620 --> 00:42:28,850 Oh, sorry... 635 00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:31,180 .. but I really am bursting for the loo. 636 00:42:34,300 --> 00:42:37,170 Ah! You're picking those up. 637 00:42:37,220 --> 00:42:38,660 Yes, excuse me. 638 00:42:39,940 --> 00:42:42,370 Come here! 639 00:42:42,420 --> 00:42:43,940 AH! 640 00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:49,450 She's out cold. We have to escape while we can. 641 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:51,380 We can't leave without Miss Trifle. 642 00:42:52,740 --> 00:42:54,490 How much longer are you going to be? 643 00:42:54,540 --> 00:42:57,490 I can't go at all, if you're listening in. 644 00:42:57,540 --> 00:43:00,010 Oh, there's only the cheap, scratchy paper. 645 00:43:00,060 --> 00:43:04,090 Well, yeah, well, you'll have to make do, madam, there's a war on. 646 00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:11,370 Um, er, I'd leave it a few moments, if I were you. 647 00:43:11,420 --> 00:43:12,700 Follow me. 648 00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:21,450 How did you get the cricket bat? 649 00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:23,610 There's no way out. 650 00:43:23,660 --> 00:43:25,610 I've got an idea, something Raj told me. 651 00:43:25,660 --> 00:43:26,690 What? 652 00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:29,100 That there's just one way out of here, this way. 653 00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:40,780 That's made me angry. 654 00:43:50,660 --> 00:43:52,650 I've got a plan but we need some wheels. 655 00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:55,410 Wheels? I know just the place. You look after Miss Trifle. 656 00:43:55,460 --> 00:43:57,060 Come out, come out. 657 00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:00,770 ♪ When two tribes go to war... ♪ 658 00:44:00,820 --> 00:44:02,890 - Stop pushing! - I'm not pushing. 659 00:44:02,940 --> 00:44:04,420 There's no need to be rude. 660 00:44:08,140 --> 00:44:10,930 Mission accomplished. I've got the roller-skates. 661 00:44:10,980 --> 00:44:13,570 So now we have to attach them here and here. 662 00:44:13,620 --> 00:44:17,570 Bolt the doors! No-one escapes! 663 00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:19,020 - HALT! - What did he say? - Stop! 664 00:44:22,900 --> 00:44:24,210 You see? 665 00:44:24,260 --> 00:44:27,250 For a good old-fashioned escape, you always need plenty of string. 666 00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:30,050 I hope you're not going to ask me to sit in that coffin. 667 00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:31,650 Oh, I, absolutely not, madam. 668 00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:33,860 - Thank goodness. - I'm ordering you. 669 00:44:35,660 --> 00:44:38,530 I'm doing it, but under duress. 670 00:44:38,580 --> 00:44:39,810 You too, Wing Commander. 671 00:44:39,860 --> 00:44:42,330 Hold on a second, I've left something under my mattress. 672 00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:44,500 - We don't have time! - I must have it. 673 00:44:45,580 --> 00:44:48,460 So... is your grandfather single? 674 00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:54,580 Um, I think so, why? 675 00:44:55,620 --> 00:44:56,970 No reason. 676 00:44:57,020 --> 00:44:58,850 What are you two nattering about? 677 00:44:58,900 --> 00:45:00,450 Nothing. 678 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:01,980 Ready? 679 00:45:03,180 --> 00:45:05,770 Oh, my goodness, it's a coffin toboggan! 680 00:45:05,820 --> 00:45:07,850 It's a coffboggan! 681 00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:10,340 - Stand your ground! - Geronimo! 682 00:45:18,940 --> 00:45:21,810 Oh, oh, can we do it again? Again! 683 00:45:21,860 --> 00:45:24,980 Yeah, tempting, madam, but now's not the time. 684 00:45:31,060 --> 00:45:33,970 Come on, what are you waiting for? Get up and chase them. 685 00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:36,900 Or do you want me to, to shock you into it? 686 00:45:37,980 --> 00:45:39,260 Shocks... 687 00:45:50,980 --> 00:45:53,570 - You made it. - I don't know how we'll get over. 688 00:45:53,620 --> 00:45:55,090 What are we going to do? 689 00:45:55,140 --> 00:45:57,570 I'm sorry, I don't know, we're trapped. 690 00:45:57,620 --> 00:45:59,650 - What we really need is... - A ladder? 691 00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:02,170 Yeah, that's right, yeah... Who said that? 692 00:46:02,220 --> 00:46:04,730 Shelley! 693 00:46:04,780 --> 00:46:07,130 All right, wrinklies, over we come. 694 00:46:07,180 --> 00:46:09,660 Chop chop, we ain't got all day. 695 00:46:15,060 --> 00:46:16,500 I know you, don't I? 696 00:46:17,940 --> 00:46:20,650 Shelley Bunting of the Women's Airforce Auxiliary Service 697 00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:22,220 reporting for duty, sir. 698 00:46:23,380 --> 00:46:26,580 I was missing in action but I'm back now. 699 00:46:27,860 --> 00:46:31,060 Good to have you here, Shelley. Very good indeed. 700 00:46:38,780 --> 00:46:41,730 Right, fine work, people but we need to find a safe haven, 701 00:46:41,780 --> 00:46:46,220 so fall in and by the left, quick march. Left, right... 702 00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:10,620 Company... halt! 703 00:47:13,060 --> 00:47:15,850 We will report Miss Dandy to the authorities. 704 00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:17,490 And have a nice cup of tea. 705 00:47:17,540 --> 00:47:21,010 Perhaps the police would like a game of gin rummy. 706 00:47:21,060 --> 00:47:25,410 This has been the most exciting night of my life. 707 00:47:25,460 --> 00:47:27,050 Just doing my duty. 708 00:47:27,100 --> 00:47:28,580 My hero. 709 00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:46,290 Back to base? 710 00:47:46,340 --> 00:47:50,410 - Actually, I'm feeling quite peckish. - Raj's will be open. 711 00:47:53,540 --> 00:47:55,090 Anyone want a lift? 712 00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:56,170 Oh, oh. 713 00:47:58,580 --> 00:48:00,290 What, don't you have any proper music? 714 00:48:00,340 --> 00:48:02,810 - Er, this is proper music. - I've got some Spandau Ballet. 715 00:48:02,860 --> 00:48:04,260 Spandau Ballet?! 716 00:48:08,620 --> 00:48:10,330 Mr Bumting, you escaped! 717 00:48:10,380 --> 00:48:12,930 Of course we did, for King and country. 718 00:48:12,980 --> 00:48:15,170 Oh, this is a cause for celebration. 719 00:48:15,220 --> 00:48:18,130 Take whatever you want, anything at all. 720 00:48:18,180 --> 00:48:20,260 - Thank you. - Yes, most kind. 721 00:48:23,940 --> 00:48:25,300 That'll be £3.20. 722 00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:35,490 - Mum will be up soon. - But... 723 00:48:35,540 --> 00:48:37,970 We'd better go home, I mean, to our quarters. 724 00:48:38,020 --> 00:48:41,450 Absolutely not, the Luftwaffe could strike at any moment. 725 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,090 It's bedtime, Grandpa. 726 00:48:43,140 --> 00:48:46,130 The Nazis won't be asleep. Get me to my Spitfire, 727 00:48:46,180 --> 00:48:48,140 I need to take to the skies! 728 00:48:50,540 --> 00:48:51,970 Er, Mr Bumting? 729 00:48:52,020 --> 00:48:54,690 It would greatly help the war effort, er, 730 00:48:54,740 --> 00:48:59,570 if you could, er, put these spicy Nik Naks on that shelf. 731 00:48:59,620 --> 00:49:01,220 Oh, of course, Quartermaster. 732 00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:08,610 He's got worse. It's all my fault. 733 00:49:08,660 --> 00:49:10,850 I pretended the war was still on. 734 00:49:10,900 --> 00:49:16,130 No, Jack, you have always been a wonderful grandson. The best. 735 00:49:16,180 --> 00:49:20,970 Please, please, can you get through to him? 736 00:49:21,020 --> 00:49:24,900 Jack, I've known your grandfather for a long time. 737 00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:27,580 He's not a well man. 738 00:49:28,780 --> 00:49:32,340 I know, he has a weak heart. 739 00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:35,660 Then why not let him have one final flight? 740 00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:45,900 This, please. 741 00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:52,330 So, Wing Commander, let's get you to your plane. 742 00:49:52,380 --> 00:49:53,900 Not before time. 743 00:50:00,700 --> 00:50:02,090 Where next, lads? 744 00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:03,740 War museum, please. 745 00:50:05,020 --> 00:50:07,540 I bought this record. Put it on the gramophone. 746 00:50:20,620 --> 00:50:23,010 Good job I'm an irresponsible teenager, otherwise I'd be 747 00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:25,610 telling you what a really bad idea this is. 748 00:50:25,660 --> 00:50:29,140 We're only stealing a Spitfire, nothing to worry about. 749 00:50:48,580 --> 00:50:53,420 There's not been a single day I haven't dreamt of flying you again. 750 00:51:05,340 --> 00:51:07,090 Ready, co-pilot? 751 00:51:07,140 --> 00:51:08,810 You're taking me? 752 00:51:08,860 --> 00:51:10,940 Of course, we're a team. 753 00:51:14,020 --> 00:51:15,410 Ooh. 754 00:51:30,820 --> 00:51:32,180 Just one thing missing... 755 00:51:41,220 --> 00:51:42,940 This is for you, Squadron Leader. 756 00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:48,460 This is yours, you can't give me this. 757 00:51:52,780 --> 00:51:55,140 Nobody deserves it more than you do. 758 00:51:58,620 --> 00:51:59,980 Thank you, sir. 759 00:52:08,300 --> 00:52:09,730 Canopy secure? 760 00:52:09,780 --> 00:52:11,170 Check. 761 00:52:11,220 --> 00:52:12,810 - Propeller set to low? - Check. 762 00:52:12,860 --> 00:52:16,100 - Fuel gauge on full? - It's empty. 763 00:52:17,380 --> 00:52:19,700 We're going to have to get out and push. 764 00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:27,500 I'm so going to get grounded for this. 765 00:52:29,460 --> 00:52:34,660 2,031... slight scuffing. 766 00:52:54,620 --> 00:52:56,810 Damn it, er, pay for that. 767 00:52:56,860 --> 00:53:00,090 I don't think my Griffin Savers Account's quite that flush. 768 00:53:00,140 --> 00:53:02,810 We'll have to requisition the fuel. It's for the war effort, 769 00:53:02,860 --> 00:53:04,340 they'll understand. 770 00:53:07,620 --> 00:53:10,330 It's the Spitfire, that's my Spitfire. 771 00:53:10,380 --> 00:53:12,290 I think you'd better get back in the plane. 772 00:53:12,340 --> 00:53:15,610 Yes, you're right there, Squadron Leader. 773 00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:18,560 Code Spitfire in a garage, repeat, code Spitfire in a garage. 774 00:53:23,100 --> 00:53:24,890 We've got to take off now. 775 00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:26,580 Call the police, call the A Team. 776 00:53:28,660 --> 00:53:30,780 Stop that plane! Stop! 777 00:53:32,020 --> 00:53:33,450 We need a clear runway. 778 00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,980 They aren't going to make it. 779 00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,460 Dad? 780 00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,060 Plane coming through. 781 00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:55,260 Plane coming through. Stop! 782 00:53:57,140 --> 00:53:58,980 Jack? Don't be late for school! 783 00:54:01,060 --> 00:54:02,290 Up, up and away! 784 00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:04,700 Up, up and away! 785 00:54:15,500 --> 00:54:16,930 It's amazing. 786 00:54:16,980 --> 00:54:20,130 Nothing better. Would you like to take the controls? 787 00:54:20,180 --> 00:54:21,850 Really? 788 00:54:21,900 --> 00:54:24,300 Why not? All yours, Squadron Leader. 789 00:54:25,860 --> 00:54:27,370 Wow. 790 00:54:27,420 --> 00:54:29,250 They've never made a plane quite like her. 791 00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:31,690 Do you want to take her for a loop-the-loop? 792 00:54:31,740 --> 00:54:33,380 - Can I? - Of course, like this. 793 00:54:35,700 --> 00:54:37,180 Wahoo! 794 00:54:44,100 --> 00:54:45,610 Can we stay like this forever... 795 00:54:45,660 --> 00:54:48,260 - .. Wing Commander? Just you and me? - What's to stop us? 796 00:54:55,700 --> 00:54:58,180 Jerry's got a brand-new plane, I see. 797 00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:02,420 - They want us to land. - We'll never surrender! 798 00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:07,490 This is Harrier Red Leader, you're in restricted air space. 799 00:55:07,540 --> 00:55:08,940 Land or we will fire. 800 00:55:15,140 --> 00:55:16,570 That was a warning shot. 801 00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:18,410 Land immediately or we'll shoot you down. 802 00:55:18,460 --> 00:55:19,860 You won't catch me. 803 00:55:22,020 --> 00:55:23,570 Grandpa, you have to listen to me. 804 00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:26,250 We're not at war with Germany any more, they're British planes, 805 00:55:26,300 --> 00:55:29,780 we have to land now. I, I don't want us to be shot down. 806 00:55:32,300 --> 00:55:35,130 What... Jack? 807 00:55:35,180 --> 00:55:36,770 Yes. 808 00:55:36,820 --> 00:55:38,340 My grandson? 809 00:55:39,740 --> 00:55:41,300 That's right, Grandpa. 810 00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:47,260 You've been wonderful to me, Jack, the best grandson there could be. 811 00:55:49,060 --> 00:55:50,460 But you've got to bail out now. 812 00:55:51,660 --> 00:55:53,570 What about you? 813 00:55:53,620 --> 00:55:58,410 I haven't long left, Jack, dodgy ticker and all that and, 814 00:55:58,460 --> 00:56:01,170 and up here I'm the person I want to be, 815 00:56:01,220 --> 00:56:04,740 I don't want to be the person I am down there, not anymore. 816 00:56:07,340 --> 00:56:09,100 I don't want you to die. 817 00:56:11,820 --> 00:56:15,220 As long as you love me, Jack, I can never die. 818 00:56:18,580 --> 00:56:20,260 I'll always love you. 819 00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:24,650 But I don't want to leave you. I won't! 820 00:56:24,700 --> 00:56:26,980 Sorry, Squadron Leader, I'm pulling rank. 821 00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:35,300 Up, up, and away! 822 00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:43,220 Up, up, and away. 823 00:56:59,980 --> 00:57:03,820 Jack, I'm so sorry for your loss. 824 00:57:05,060 --> 00:57:06,490 Thank you, Raj. 825 00:57:06,540 --> 00:57:09,580 Er, is it true they never found the plane or your grandfather? 826 00:57:11,060 --> 00:57:12,770 Yes. 827 00:57:12,820 --> 00:57:16,220 It's an empty coffin. We don't know where he is. 828 00:57:18,020 --> 00:57:20,610 He's looking down on us all, I'm sure. 829 00:57:20,660 --> 00:57:24,050 Your father was always very proud of you, Mr Bumting. 830 00:57:24,100 --> 00:57:25,490 Me? 831 00:57:25,540 --> 00:57:28,220 Said you were the finest cone counter there was. 832 00:57:36,580 --> 00:57:39,410 Jack, er, I owe you an apology. 833 00:57:39,460 --> 00:57:43,930 I've researched your grandfather and he did lead a team of brave 834 00:57:43,980 --> 00:57:48,100 young men in the Battle of Britain, that is a fact. 835 00:57:49,500 --> 00:57:52,050 - He was a hero. - He certainly was. 836 00:57:52,100 --> 00:57:56,100 Your grandpa would have saved thousands of lives on the ground. 837 00:57:57,340 --> 00:57:59,450 Thank you, Miss Verity. 838 00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:01,130 Yes, well... 839 00:58:01,980 --> 00:58:04,250 .. I have also written up a questionnaire on the history 840 00:58:04,300 --> 00:58:06,170 of the church, so, er, let's crack on with that. 841 00:58:06,220 --> 00:58:08,010 There's one for you, sir, if that's OK? 842 00:58:08,060 --> 00:58:10,460 Er, just try and keep your, er, writing in the lines. 843 00:58:13,580 --> 00:58:15,610 Not many bums on seats today. 844 00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:18,530 The deceased can't have had too many friends. 845 00:58:28,100 --> 00:58:29,420 Oh, Lord. 846 00:58:33,060 --> 00:58:35,850 Oh, shuffle along, shuffle along. 847 00:58:35,900 --> 00:58:39,490 Right, is that everyone now? Can we finally begin? 848 00:58:39,540 --> 00:58:42,580 Er, there should be a few others actually so, er... 849 00:58:43,780 --> 00:58:46,060 Gentlemen, by the left, quick march. 850 00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:54,020 I tracked them down, to invite them. 851 00:59:03,580 --> 00:59:06,460 All these men served with Grandpa in the war. 852 00:59:10,620 --> 00:59:12,740 This... is his squadron. 853 00:59:21,900 --> 00:59:25,010 Welcome, it's a great honour to have you here, gentlemen. 854 00:59:25,060 --> 00:59:27,250 And you must come round to ours afterwards. 855 00:59:27,300 --> 00:59:29,010 I've laid on a lovely cold spread. 856 00:59:29,060 --> 00:59:32,330 - Come on. - And I'll have a range of musky body sprays on special. 857 00:59:32,380 --> 00:59:34,130 No, they don't want any body spray. 858 00:59:34,180 --> 00:59:36,820 Finally, we can begin. Music, maestro, please. 859 00:59:42,340 --> 00:59:43,810 Ha, right. 860 00:59:43,860 --> 00:59:48,780 We are here to mourn the passing of someone very special. 861 00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:53,970 We are all going to miss insert name here very much. 862 00:59:54,020 --> 00:59:58,620 He was born in insert place here in the year insert year here. 863 00:59:59,780 --> 01:00:03,180 I'm sure we all has lovely memories of him... 864 01:00:04,820 --> 01:00:06,610 And who could forget 865 01:00:06,660 --> 01:00:11,300 the time he insert heart-warming detail here, to make it personal... 866 01:00:18,820 --> 01:00:20,530 Stop the funeral! 867 01:00:20,580 --> 01:00:22,410 Oh, thank God for that. 868 01:00:22,460 --> 01:00:24,930 He is Miss Dandy from Twilight Towers. 869 01:00:24,980 --> 01:00:27,570 Or she's him, they're the same person. 870 01:00:27,620 --> 01:00:30,210 - That's absurd. - He's a crook who forges wills. 871 01:00:30,260 --> 01:00:33,610 He, he's crackers, he is. He's crackers, just like his grandad. 872 01:00:33,660 --> 01:00:35,500 And they're the nurses. 873 01:00:37,420 --> 01:00:41,930 Nonsense, they deny it, don't you? Deny it, deny it. 874 01:00:41,980 --> 01:00:43,210 We were made to do it. 875 01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:46,370 I'll confess everything. I'm too pretty for prison. 876 01:00:46,420 --> 01:00:49,010 You stole our jewellery. 877 01:00:49,060 --> 01:00:51,010 You drugged us. 878 01:00:51,060 --> 01:00:54,290 You locked up the playing cards, so we couldn't play strip poker. 879 01:00:54,340 --> 01:00:57,690 Yeah, well, at least I knows how to enjoy money! 880 01:00:57,740 --> 01:01:02,340 What's the point in having cash if you're all completely gaga, hey? 881 01:01:05,420 --> 01:01:08,220 I'll show you gaga! 882 01:01:09,340 --> 01:01:11,700 - Go on, then! - You! 883 01:01:19,700 --> 01:01:20,890 Don't hurt me. 884 01:01:20,940 --> 01:01:23,340 I have a very low pain threshold. 885 01:01:26,740 --> 01:01:28,900 Yeah, kung fu! 886 01:01:38,580 --> 01:01:40,180 So what if I forged a few wills? 887 01:01:41,980 --> 01:01:46,490 So what if I posed as a vicar to lure the old people into the home? 888 01:01:46,540 --> 01:01:52,210 All I wanted was a holiday home in Mustique. Is that too much to ask? 889 01:01:52,260 --> 01:01:54,210 Huh? 890 01:01:54,260 --> 01:01:58,300 Is church always this exciting? I'll have to come more often. 891 01:02:03,700 --> 01:02:06,130 I'll be back. I'll be back. 892 01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:25,530 That was incredibly brave, Jack. 893 01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:29,660 - Me and your dad are very proud of you, and you, Shells. - Yeah. 894 01:02:34,820 --> 01:02:36,220 I'll let you say goodbye. 895 01:03:29,100 --> 01:03:30,330 Grandpa! 896 01:03:30,380 --> 01:03:32,500 Oh, oh! 897 01:03:37,220 --> 01:03:38,730 I would see grandpa every night, 898 01:03:38,780 --> 01:03:40,820 just at the time I was falling asleep. 899 01:03:42,100 --> 01:03:44,290 Now I have a child of my own, 900 01:03:44,340 --> 01:03:48,210 I tell her all about the adventures of my grandfather and every night 901 01:03:48,260 --> 01:03:53,580 we see him too, flying his Spitfire across the sky he kept safe for us. 902 01:03:54,740 --> 01:03:56,770 Up, up, and away. 903 01:03:56,820 --> 01:04:01,060 Grandpa was right -- as long as you love someone, they can never die. 68971

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