Original subtitles

SAUL: How about a special discount?

Um, for the next two weeks, um,

non-violent felonies, 50 percent off. Yeah.

-Okay. MAN 1: I'll take one.

Yeah. That's for you. Fifty percent off. Yeah, all right. Now we got some takers.

There you are. Oh, yeah. Who else? Fifty percent off. There you are.

-Fifty percent off. -Dude, that's almost half.

[♪♪♪]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

Hey! You bastards!

BOTH: Fifty percent off!

Money, money, money!

Money, money, money.

Yeah!

[SHOUTING]

Yeah! I got my money! Yeah!

Yeah.

[BARKING]

[BOTH SHOUTING]

Get back here, you little bitch!

STICKY: Ow! I'm okay! Ha, ha.

[ALARM WAILING]

BOTH: Fifty percent off!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

RON: Whoo!

-Yeah! -Woo-hoo!

[SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

-Yo. -What?

-Dude. -What?

What day is it?

Uh...

Tuesday?

Tuesday?

-What? -You know what that means?

BOTH: Fifty percent off!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

ANNOUNCER: ...and have you smoke-free in just seven days.

It's all-natural and nicotine-free.

Best of all, it's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Order now to get Smoke Away's new oral spray free, Spray Away.

It can stop your cravings instantly. Call now.

Thousands have already quit smoking using Smoke Away.

[DOOR OPENS]

[SHOUTING]

Baby, what's happening?

What's happening, baby?

NACHO: Get off of me, man.

It's okay.

Come on, man. What do you want from me?

I switched the stuff. I played it all like he told me.

[♪♪♪]

No.

No.

What are we doing?

Come on, man. Don't.

You got five people in there.

Too bad.

Hey, wait! Wait. Wait.

Hey! Hey, wait! Wait. Hey, wait!

Why is he doing this?

Hey, why is he doing this? I did everything.

Wait.

Please, man. Please, man, please, no. Please, no.

Please. Man, please.

Please, man.

[NACHO BREATHING HEAVILY]

[NACHO GRUNTING]

Okay.

I get it.

Just tell me what you want me to do.

GUS: Lalo Salamanca.

I need to know where he is going.

What he is thinking.

What he's planning.

I need to know what he's going to do before he does it.

I've been trying, okay?

He doesn't tell me shit.

He's just keeps talking about some guy named Werner Ziegler.

And some gringo "Michael." That's it.

GUS: Gain his confidence. Make him rely on you.

How?

GUS: Find a way.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

My father has nothing to do with this.

I'll find a way. I'll make him trust me.

Okay?

[ALL SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Your pop's a nice guy.

[ENGINE STARTING]

SAUL: Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. Ahem. Let me see if I have this right.

A Mr. Bertram Moran, aka "B-Mo,"

claims that you solicited him for the purchase of narcotics

when, in fact, you were simply enjoying a Big Gulp in the park

when he approached and attempted to sell to you.

Oh! I got a live one. Ahem.

Yes, PJ. Go ahead.

Kim, sorry. My side is too full.

I'm gonna take some of those back to Mrs. Nguyen's.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Well, I think I got the specifics.

I'll call you later.

Geez. A chatty one.

So, hey, how's it going with, uh, "Cold Finger," the mini-fridge mastermind?

-Did you get a trial date yet? -Uh...

No. He took the deal.

He took the five months?

-Yup. -Huh.

You were right, as usual.

[CELL PHONE BUZZES]

Saul Goodman, speedy justice for you.

Yes, miss. I-- Uh-huh.

Oh, no. Ha, ha. Well, that's not right.

Yeah. Go on.

Can you hold for a moment? Kim, how about dinner and a movie tonight?

I'm-- Scampi and Scorsese because they got After Hours on the Classic Movie Channel.

I love that one, but, um, we'll have to see. I might need to stay late.

Okay. Just let me know.

Yeah. I'll see you.

Yes, go ahead. There's something about a minivan?

[DOOR CLOSES]

-Kim. -Jimmy, what are you--?

There's something I gotta show you. It's just three blocks from here.

Look, I-- Sorry.

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

I know you gotta get to work. This will only take a couple of minutes, please.

Drive. If we go right now, it will be over like that.

-Which way? -Take a right.

JIMMY: There. Right there.

KIM: The white one? -Yeah. That one. Right there.

Jimmy, we're not buying a house.

Maybe not today, but doesn't hurt to look, does it?

I drove by this place like a week ago, and I'm curious. Aren't you, just a little?

Look at all that space.

Hey, you're doing great. I'm gonna be doing great. I got 45 clients.

Forty-five? How are you gonna handle all that?

I got a system, but can we just look?

They're not even open yet.

Yeah, well. They want to sell this house. They'll let us in.

All right.

Hey, folks. Do you mind signing in?

There's a guestbook right over here.

You know what? Um, could we do that on our way out?

Sure.

Just take your time. Have a look around. Let me know if you have any questions.

-You got it. -Thanks.

Man, look at all this wall space.

Imagine a plasma TV mounted right there.

One of the huge new ones.

Hey, this would be a big change, but we could make it our own.

We could host movie nights.

Some comfy chairs and smell of popcorn in the air, and--

And check out these countertops.

Yeah.

Blue. Is this quartz?

I read somewhere that it's good for healing.

KIM: Mm. So good for healing.

Hey. You know that, uh, "50 percent off" thing I said I wouldn't do?

Well, I did it.

I, uh, told a few potential clients. It just kind of slipped out.

Don't worry. I know these people.

They're not gonna do anything because of some stupid discount.

But it was a bonehead move and I shouldn't have done it.

Okay.

Jimmy, I know you were trying to help,

but I don't want to lie to my clients.

Are you talking about the fridge guy? That was a dumb idea.

I mean all my clients.

Of course. Absolutely. Never again.

Oh, my God.

-This is the closet of your dreams. -Our dreams.

Sure.

Where are my Louboutins? Louboutins? Louboutins?

Hey, check this out.

-Oh, there's jets. -Yeah, it's like a mini spa.

That would be so nice after a long day on our feet.

Yeah. And two sinks. So plenty of room for brushing.

-And spitting. -Mm.

Hey, you gotta see this.

I mean, look at all the nozzles.

-Whoa. -Yeah. Is that what I think it is?

Steam?

But, uh, how do you get it going?

Maybe the water's shut off.

Maybe.

Hey. Ah...

Quit it.

You're-- Very mature. Very mature.

[SHOUTS]

Thanks again.

Nice house, huh?

Yeah. Maybe someday.

[EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[IN SPANISH] Hang on, Tio.

Excuse me, Mr. Salamanca.

Would you give your uncle some of this? It's Fizzy K. He needs to hydrate.

[IN ENGLISH] Fizzy K?

It's just a vitamin solution. It's very berry, his favorite. Right, Hector?

-Thanks. I'll make sure he drinks it. -Thank you.

[IN SPANISH] Look, Tio.

What's he doing?

He's building something.

A tunnel...

A lab... maybe a vault?

He's preparing for something big.

He lies to me with this shit about the Germans.

Maybe Eladio and Bolsa believe it but I don't.

But what can I do?

They don't give a shit. As long as he makes them cash.

[BELL RINGS]

What?

You mean the money?

[BELL RINGING]

Right...

The money.

As long as he brings in the money, he's protected.

[GROANS]

Gross, Tio.

This is shit.

Let's see. Better, no?

[RINGING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[MIKE SIGHS]

Yeah?

STACEY [OVER PHONE]: Mike, hi. I'm sorry to bother you.

No, no bother, honey. What's up?

I don't know what your work schedule is like these days.

I'm still making my own hours.

Well, I just got called in.

-Emily's busy, and-- -No problem.

Are you sure?

Positive. I'll be happy to watch her.

-What time do you need me there? -How about now?

Now.

On the way.

Oh, thanks, Mike. You're a lifesaver.

Yeah.

-Hey! -Hey.

I thought we'd finish fixing the ladder on the treehouse.

-Pop-Pop! -Hey, kid.

She needs to finish her homework first. Don't let her sweet-talk you.

No, not a chance of that.

She gotta learn her times tables. She's on the sevens.

Sevens?

There's lasagna in the oven and I should be back before bedtime.

-Sounds good. -Okay.

-See you later, sweetie! -Bye, Mom!

Bye.

[GROANS]

What do we got?

Sevens are the worst.

Oh...

I bet you know more than you think you know.

-I do? -Mm-hm.

You remember when we watched the Super Bowl?

MIKE: Seven times three?

KAYLEE: Twenty-one. -Right. Seven times four?

KAYLEE: Four touchdowns equals 28. -Mm-hm.

Plus another one makes 35.

Go, Eagles! Kick ass.

You don't talk like that. Who taught you to talk like that?

-You did. -Oh.

Come on. Seven times eight?

Uh...

-That's a lot of touchdowns. -It's a lot of touchdowns.

It's a big game. Where are we at?

-Fifty-five? -Oh.

So you think the kicker missed the extra point?

Oh, no. It's 56.

Seven times eight is 56.

You got it.

My dad liked the Eagles, right?

Yeah. He sure did.

Was he good at math?

-Thank you. -Yeah, he, uh...

Your daddy was a smart kid.

A good student like you.

Did he want to be a policeman when he was my age?

When he was your age...

You know, I think he went back and forth between an astronaut, deep sea explorer

like Jacques Cousteau.

Who?

-You don't know Jacques Cousteau? -Mm-mm.

Well, we'll fix that.

So instead, my dad decided to be a policeman.

Like you.

Yeah.

Hey, make sure those are nice and even.

And he was a really good policeman, right?

Yes.

-And you taught him. -Uh-huh.

But...

the bad guys got him?

-I told you to make those even. -I am.

No, you're not! You're making a mess.

You either do it right, or you don't do it.

But I wanna do it.

You're done. You are done!

Hey.

-Where's Kaylee? -She's in her room. She won't come out.

-She didn't eat dinner. -Why? What happened?

Mike!

[RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪ And they expect me to glow So I gotta be cold ♪

♪ Like a baseball, shawty I gotta be pro ♪

Yeah.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

So? Two?

It's gonna be a 10 tonight.

-Ten? -Yeah.

♪ I don't care what they were saying I ain't wanting to know ♪

♪ I know haters real bad For your arteries though ♪

♪ Every party, we go Everybody we know ♪♪

Hey! Why you doing that?

-Where's the cookie? MOUSE: I sent it down.

STICKY: Well, it ain't here.

MOUSE: Yeah, it is. RON: What up?

-No stuff. -No stuff?

It's there.

No, it ain't!

Quit that, fool!

Who you calling "fool," fool?

Don't make me come down there.

BOTH: Oh!

Stop playing!

-Oh, you better come down here! -Shut up!

You shut up!

-Shut up! RON: You shut up!

MOUSE: Shut up!

Call.

Fairground spot's doing really good. Lots of traffic.

Hey.

Shut up while I'm in a hand.

You know what?

Two hundred.

CARLOS: Ha, ha. BLINGY: Oh, man.

It's too deep for me.

CARLOS: Ha, ha. BLINGY: Oof. Ugh.

LALO: And did I get you?

Let me see what you had.

You had a set?

Mm. You had three eights on the turn, and you don't raise?

And then you fold at the river?

It's too bad.

Ocho Loco this guy, huh?

[ALL LAUGHING]

All right, guys, give me your cards.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Sorry.

Yeah?

Hold on.

Problem on Fifth Street.

Some skells say they didn't get their stuff.

It's your crew.

Off you go, Ocho Loco.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Okay.

[RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Yo.

Maybe we could shoot the pipe.

Like with a gun.

Hey, we ain't shooting nothing.

Oh, okay. Well, we paid for our shit, so we're getting our shit.

Yeah.

♪ Where's our glass? ♪

-Unh, unh! -♪ We're gonna kick your ass ♪

Yo, give me the mic.

-Mic. -So I can rap about this pipe. Ha, ha.

♪ Yo, my name is Mr. Sticky I'm pretty fricking tricky ♪

♪ Gonna kick you in the thicky ♪

What does that even mean?

♪ 'Cause I'm Mr. Picky And I'm so tricky ♪♪

Yeah, yeah, you're tricky.

-Oh, shit! -Hey, we still get our glass, right?

ARLO: Domingo!

[SIREN CHIRPS]

Hey!

[MUSIC STOPS]

-This your vehicle? -Uh...

No, sir.

Wanna come down here?

No problem, officer.

What you doing up there?

Uh... Just fixing a drainpipe.

Some kind of block.

Guess you fixed it.

[POLICE CHATTER OVER RADIO]

-Only Domingo got picked up? -Yeah.

The rest of us bounced, but he was stuck up there.

Shit, whole block's crawling.

You got the stuff?

-You got it? -Nah.

I had to leave it.

They were on my ass.

LALO: Ay...

Shit's gone now.

These assholes will turn the whole place upside-down.

How much is in there?

Almost a full load.

[♪♪♪]

Wait, where you going?

[IN SPANISH] What the hell are you doing?

Stupid idiot, they're going to catch your ass.

[LALO GROANING]

Where'd he go?

There he is.

Ooh!

He's on the roof!

This is gonna be good.

No.

You're kidding me. You're kidding me!

[IN ENGLISH] Oh! Look at that!

He's a fool, right?

Oh...

[IN SPANISH] Here they come.

Bye-bye, Nachito.

[OFFICERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

OFFICER 1: Police! Open up!

We got a fortified door. Need to breach.

Police!

Clear!

What's happening?

[IN ENGLISH] Did they get him?

They must've got--

Ignacio Varga...

[IN SPANISH] You are a badass.

SAUL: Suzanne...

Oh, Suzanne!

Suzanne, I think we have something in common.

Suzanne, I think we have something

in common.

Suzanne, I think we have something in common.

[♪♪♪]

Bill!

-Bill... -What?

Am I on Candid Camera again?

No, but by the way, you look great.

We gotta talk Bruno Leder.

Leder? Lost cause.

-Ah, I beg to differ. -He assaulted a minor.

That oaf? You call him a minor, I call him a menace.

Hey, my featherweight was simply defending himself against your raging bull.

No sale. Leder's doing the full freight.

Welcome back to the law, McGill.

It's Goodman. And you'll be back.

-Hannah-Banana. -Hi!

Hey. What's the word on moving Tripp to Thursday?

-It works on the calendar, just have to check... -Consider them checked!

Veronica.

-She's finally clear. Go ahead. -Hey, you got something for me?

Muchas gracias. All right, let's see.

Long sleeves, covering the tats, that's excellent.

Pull your hair back and lose the hardware.

Her Honor doth protest a chin pillar.

-But it's gonna close up. -Into every life, a little rain must fall.

Meet me outside Courtroom 103 at 2:15.

Mitch! Uh, what say you to moving Tripp to Thursday?

-Mm, Thursday works. -Great. Thursday.

-What did you do? -I don't know. What did I do?

Suddenly, Leder has witnesses?

What can I say? People step up.

From the sewer?

Life's rich pageant, who are we to judge?

Anyway, they saw what they saw.

Your beefy, if youthful hooligan, cold-cocks my small potato.

So, what do you say, uh, sentence suspended,

six months' probation, 70 hours community service?

Yeah, I guess.

That's the spirit.

Suzanne, I think we have something

in common.

Suzanne, I think we have something in common.

-Suzanne, I-- -Jimmy!

-Howard, hey. -Congratulations.

-You're back in the saddle. -Yeah.

So...

Saul Goodman?

Yeah, that's me.

How's business?

It's good. It's very good. You?

Actually, it looks like it's gonna be one of our best years ever.

I was wondering, any chance you're available for lunch some time?

Lunch? Lunch? Really?

Yeah. Have Julie call my people. I'm in the book. See you, Howard.

Suzanne, I think we have a few things in common.

-Oh, I hope not. -Oh, we do.

To the tune of 16 cases.

So you're busy, I'm busy.

How about we do a lightning round, we'll settle these puppies, 20 minutes?

Don't you already have an appointment with me?

Yeah, next Tuesday.

But, you know, let's get it done right now.

How about we wait till next Tuesday?

My clients need answers.

Look, you've got a problem with me, that's fine. Don't take it out on my clients.

This isn't about your clients. This is about your wallet.

-Okay, slow down-- -You're looking for turnover.

You wanna churn through more clients, make more money.

That's your problem, not mine.

Uh, Suzanne, I'm outraged.

[LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

They say it's clear out there.

Should I tell the guys to move out?

Ignacio, it's your call.

Okay.

Hey!

[IN SPANISH] Grab two Modelos.

[IN ENGLISH] Sit.

Your friend, um...

Krazy-8...

Yeah. Domingo.

-I know him a long time. -Mm.

How?

-My family knows his family. -Mm.

Has he ever been inside before?

No.

You worried about him?

No, man, he'll keep his mouth shut.

Mm-hm.

You want me to take care of it?

No.

I got something much better for him.

Come on.

I need you to call Beau Bindler and set a meeting for tomorrow a.m.

so we can prep him for the deposition.

-Got it. -And maybe bring bagels.

The guy eats his feelings.

Bagels, check.

-So yeah. See you tomorrow. -All right.

Okay, let's review.

Your sister, Nancy, attacked your girlfriend, also named Nancy, with a curling iron?

I'm gonna need a face-to-face so I know who I'm representing.

Look, I'm in an elevator. Now I'm gonna lose you.

Hello? Okay.

[ELEVATOR RATTLING]

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

No!

Hey! Hello?

Hi, this is ADA Ericsen.

We're in the south bank of the elevator...

-Goddamn it! -Please!

Sorry, we're stuck between floors two and three.

Yeah. How long?

Thanks.

And?

They're sending someone.

It's gonna be a minute.

I can't believe this.

[MUTTERING]

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you,

what is this trial really about?

The state may call it vandalism,

but I call my client's brave act of social justice

constitutionally-protected free speech."

-Really? -That--

I gotta use my time.

Can you do it silently?

Uh, yeah, sure.

"My client is a young man of deep moral fortitude--

Moral fortitude.

--with a passion for progress.

P-- P-- Mm-hm.

A solid citizen."

No, no, no.

"A dedicated citizen

with a voice that needs to ring out!"

Name one.

Mm?

I'm sorry?

One of the cases.

One of our cases?

Oh, let me think. Uh, Veronica Nix.

Motor vehicle theft?

With mitigating circumstances.

Such as...?

It was her aunt's minivan.

That's already baked in.

It was parked in the driveway. The old lady was berating her, so...

So, what?

So, you know, good luck finding a jury that's never been reamed out by a relative.

-One year probation. -Sold.

-Just like that? -Yup.

What do you say we look at, uh...

Jerome Sheehan?

So full year supervised for Drew Kirkman?

-How about 18 months? -Eighteen it is.

Next up, we got...

Tanika Berman.

Ah, um...

Four months jail?

The vampire stunt? That was negligent arson.

Well, it was more of a prank gone wrong.

The knife was real.

Yeah, but it was used as a prop.

Was the fire a prop?

The blood was fake.

-How is that relevant? -Petty misdemeanor.

Plus fourth-degree felony.

[SAUL SIGHS]

But, uh, drop the property damage?

-Keep the weapons charge. -Uh...

Fourteen months jail?

Ha. Sixteen.

Mm... Sixteen.

Plus, fines, TBD.

Plus, fines, TBD.

All right.

[ELEVATOR STARTS]

Oh, hey, look at that.

Oh, finally.

Hmm. Twenty minutes.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Pleasure doing business with you.

Sure.

See you next week. For the last three!

Legal services for the other half?

So my brother's little problem?

His record will be cleaner than Doris Day's Greatest Hits.

Catch you on the flip-flop.

Mm.

Seventy hours is a breeze, trust me.

Think of all the good that you'll do.

Bruno, good talking to you. I gotta jump.

Saul Goodman, speedy justice for you.

Miss Hower!

Hey, have I got good news.

I had to strap on the old armor and do some jousting, but--

It's what knights used to do back in olden times...

Uh, you know what? I'll call you back.

Mr. Varga, long time no see.

Get in.

Uh...

Your timing isn't perfect. Um...

I'm a little swamped right now.

We're just going for a ride, or...?

Uh...

Uh.

[♪♪♪]