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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,631 Captain needs to locate the lateral access valve. 2 00:00:08,714 --> 00:00:09,631 BILLIE MCEVOY: Don't worry, Captain! 3 00:00:09,714 --> 00:00:11,005 -(STARTLED) -You got this! 4 00:00:11,089 --> 00:00:12,756 -(WHISPERS) I've got this. -(BOTH GRUNT) 5 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,631 -That's it. -Oh, bugger me! 6 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,047 Oh no! 7 00:00:16,756 --> 00:00:18,005 ♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 8 00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:19,631 (CROWDS CHEERING) 9 00:00:19,714 --> 00:00:20,506 Get me a car to Buffalo. 10 00:00:20,589 --> 00:00:21,714 You're going to the White House? 11 00:00:21,798 --> 00:00:23,589 Oh, yes! Time to do some corporate begging. 12 00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:24,589 ALAN LEWIS: Oh! 13 00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:26,839 -(APPLAUSE) -RYAN CLARK: Oh, hey! Come on. 14 00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:27,798 I was just doing my job. 15 00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:29,547 Just did what we had to do. 16 00:00:29,631 --> 00:00:30,881 I did what I had to do. 17 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,005 HERMAN JUDD: It's getting thicker! 18 00:00:32,089 --> 00:00:34,422 -This is your fault. -It's Frank's fault! 19 00:00:34,506 --> 00:00:36,422 -He hit the big brown buttons. -KAREN KELLY: Frank! 20 00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,839 CROWD: (CHANTING) Ship him out! 21 00:00:37,923 --> 00:00:38,881 Frank! Frank! 22 00:00:38,964 --> 00:00:41,339 CLARK: Calm, and I cannot stress this enough, 23 00:00:41,422 --> 00:00:42,923 the fuck down! 24 00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:45,464 These people are humanity's finest, 25 00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:47,172 -and they need-- -(RAUCOUS CHATTER) 26 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,964 AIDE: The president will see you now. 27 00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:49,964 Great. 28 00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,297 RYAN CLARK: (ENGLISH ACCENT) He nearly got Frank space-lynched, 29 00:00:59,381 --> 00:01:01,214 so what are we gonna do about Judd? 30 00:01:01,297 --> 00:01:03,714 (SCOFFS) Two options. 31 00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,547 One, murder. And two, 32 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,839 and I know I keep looping back to this... 33 00:01:08,923 --> 00:01:09,714 murder. 34 00:01:09,798 --> 00:01:11,631 You keep saying that word, Karen. 35 00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:14,130 You keep saying it. 36 00:01:14,214 --> 00:01:16,839 Okay, can you please just let me fix your door? 37 00:01:16,923 --> 00:01:18,881 No. I'm going to do this myself. 38 00:01:18,964 --> 00:01:22,172 I may be a fake and a fraud and a terrible lay 39 00:01:22,255 --> 00:01:24,130 and a credit risk and a tax-dodger 40 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:25,547 and an emotional homunculus, 41 00:01:25,631 --> 00:01:28,422 but I am still a useful, functioning-- 42 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,089 Actually, can you do this? 43 00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:31,214 -Yeah. -RYAN: Yeah. 44 00:01:32,339 --> 00:01:34,089 -(GASPS) Baby! -RYAN: What? 45 00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,464 A passenger has just gone into labor. 46 00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:37,089 -There's gonna be a baby! -BILLIE MCEVOY: Whoa! 47 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:38,631 Holy shit! We're having a baby? 48 00:01:38,714 --> 00:01:40,172 -Mr. Judd's in there. -Why? 49 00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:42,631 He's, quote, "executive producing" the birth. 50 00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:45,589 -Here. -Yeah, yeah, leave it with me. 51 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,047 (DOOR CLATTERS) 52 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,756 (KAREN KELLY SIGHS) 53 00:01:48,839 --> 00:01:50,130 -I'm fine. Yeah. -KAREN: You all right? 54 00:01:50,214 --> 00:01:52,339 That's it, come on! Get it out of her! 55 00:01:52,422 --> 00:01:54,255 -(CRYING) -That's it. Hey! Hey! 56 00:01:54,339 --> 00:01:57,839 Vacuum extraction! My idea! We're gonna suck a person 57 00:01:57,923 --> 00:01:59,631 -out of this person! -BILLIE: Yeah. 58 00:01:59,714 --> 00:02:00,923 -(HANNAH SCREAMS) -Let's go! 59 00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:02,839 MATT SPENCER: God, the baby is going from a womb 60 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,255 surrounded by bodily fluids 61 00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,381 to a ship surrounded by bodily solids. 62 00:02:06,464 --> 00:02:07,881 Where did you come from, eyeballs? 63 00:02:07,964 --> 00:02:09,964 Originally? Pennsylvania. 64 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,130 Before the fires. 65 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,130 -(HANNAH SCREAMS) -HERMAN JUDD: Whoa! 66 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:15,881 (BABY CRIES) 67 00:02:17,005 --> 00:02:18,964 -I'll cut the string. -Cord. 68 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:21,297 MATT: Full Hakuna Matata! 69 00:02:21,381 --> 00:02:23,547 -JUDD: There we go. Hey... -(LOUD BEEP) 70 00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,464 I'm gonna keep the placenta. Fair's fair. 71 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,214 Have this snap frozen. Landmark human tissue. 72 00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:32,172 -MATT: You fucking killed it. -HANNAH: What? 73 00:02:32,255 --> 00:02:34,756 -JUDD: Oh... -MATT: Like, I'm smiling. 74 00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:36,756 You killed it, like... (CHUCKLES) 75 00:02:36,839 --> 00:02:37,714 It's a baby. 76 00:02:37,798 --> 00:02:39,255 Yeah, it's really-- It's a good one. 77 00:02:39,339 --> 00:02:41,172 -(BABY GURGLING) -(LOUD BEEP) 78 00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:46,422 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 79 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,422 People of Avenue 5, 80 00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:57,714 I bring you tidings of great joy. 81 00:02:57,798 --> 00:03:01,172 At 1105 hours today, we welcomed 82 00:03:01,255 --> 00:03:04,172 -the first ever bab-- -The first baby born in space! 83 00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:05,422 (CHEERING) 84 00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:07,673 -Oh, I'm so sorry, did you-- -It's fine. 85 00:03:07,756 --> 00:03:09,506 -I just really wanted to say it. -I'm so sorry. 86 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,714 You know, I sometimes have this terrible case of Karen Mouth 87 00:03:12,798 --> 00:03:15,172 -and, you know... -(LOUD BEEP) 88 00:03:15,255 --> 00:03:16,631 MIA: What's the name? 89 00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:18,255 Oh, now she's interested in babies. 90 00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:21,839 No name as yet. Current alias, AKA Space Baby. 91 00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,130 -A beautiful... -Baby boy! (CHUCKLES) 92 00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:24,798 -little baby b-- -Baby boy! 93 00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:26,255 -(CHUCKLES) -(CROWD CHEERS) 94 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,005 I did it again! You know what it was? 95 00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:30,339 'Cause you said "little," so-- 96 00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:31,964 and I just went straight to "baby boy," 97 00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:33,881 so I got there first, otherwise we would've-- 98 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,547 Is that it? Or is it your Karen Mouth 99 00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:36,881 -that you can't shut? -(LOUD BEEP) 100 00:03:36,964 --> 00:03:40,130 What is that? Why is the ship beeping? 101 00:03:40,214 --> 00:03:43,339 You know-- and this has never happened before-- 102 00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:45,297 I don't actually know. 103 00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:46,464 MAN 1: What does he look like? 104 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,339 -Oh, he is adora-- -Adora-- 105 00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:51,506 What is your damage? 106 00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:53,798 -We need to sort this-- -Yeah, Captain, I'm on it. 107 00:03:55,089 --> 00:03:56,130 (LOUD BEEP) 108 00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:57,589 Presumably, it's a warning of some kind. 109 00:03:57,673 --> 00:03:59,714 Well, yes, you don't usually have a recurring beep 110 00:03:59,798 --> 00:04:01,464 to tell you everything's going just fine. 111 00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:05,631 -(LOUD BEEP) -RYAN: It's down here. 112 00:04:06,339 --> 00:04:07,547 Some-- It's somewhere... 113 00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:08,673 (LOUD BEEP) 114 00:04:09,798 --> 00:04:11,798 -(LOUD BEEP) -RYAN: No, it's... it's... 115 00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:13,589 (LOUD BEEP) 116 00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:15,047 RYAN: No, it's not up here. 117 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,506 Man, they really love that baby, huh? 118 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,714 Yeah, babies are like New Zealanders. 119 00:04:19,798 --> 00:04:22,589 Everyone loves them and the funny way they talk. 120 00:04:22,673 --> 00:04:25,214 -Oh, there's Iris. -See that? See that? 121 00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,422 She never looks at me like that. 122 00:04:27,506 --> 00:04:29,547 She never gives me that look. 123 00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:31,673 (SUCKS TEETH) Funny. 124 00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:33,964 -Are you hurting? -Hmm? 125 00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:36,673 Is that baby hurting you? 126 00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:40,464 MATT: Yeah? 127 00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:45,964 (SIGHS) Face it. They prefer that baby to me. 128 00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:48,714 Baby gives them hope. 129 00:04:48,798 --> 00:04:52,255 All I give them is shitty-yuck-yuck. 130 00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:55,297 (SIGHS) Not that it's a competition. 131 00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:56,964 Judd versus Baby. 132 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,964 But if it were, I'd destroy that baby. 133 00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,631 Physically, emotionally, endurance-wise. 134 00:05:02,714 --> 00:05:03,798 I'd finish that baby 135 00:05:03,881 --> 00:05:06,255 before he could get past the first month. 136 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,798 It wouldn't even be a fair contest. 137 00:05:07,881 --> 00:05:10,089 One shot to the soft spot, that baby's down for the count. 138 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:12,381 Yeah, it wouldn't have the upper body strength. 139 00:05:12,923 --> 00:05:14,214 (LOUD BEEP) 140 00:05:14,297 --> 00:05:18,214 Captain? Captain. Uh, the ship is beeping. 141 00:05:18,297 --> 00:05:21,089 And I can tell you why. I'm going to cover my mouth... 142 00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,839 (MUFFLED) because this could cause mass distress. 143 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,422 It's an oxygen beep. Uh, we've got a leak. 144 00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,547 -Well-- I mean, that-- -Billie? Billie? 145 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,756 I don't know what else it could be, 146 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,464 and maybe he's right? 147 00:05:35,547 --> 00:05:37,381 -I-- I-- I just-- -We need oxygen! 148 00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:38,798 -I love oxygen! -Captain, your mouth. 149 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,464 -Cover your fucking mouth. -RYAN: Billie? 150 00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:42,506 Well, hopefully it's just one-- 151 00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:43,631 Hopefully, it's just 152 00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:45,089 -one leaking tank... -RYAN: Okay. 153 00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:47,798 BILLIE: ...but if the recycling system's screwed, then... 154 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,881 so are we. 155 00:05:48,964 --> 00:05:51,631 The running out of air, is it as bad as they say? 156 00:05:51,714 --> 00:05:53,297 -Or not as bad? -Yeah, it's bad. 157 00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:55,756 I mean, like, first you get, like, a grittiness in your eyes, 158 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,130 then your tongue is literally gonna boil in your mouth 159 00:05:58,214 --> 00:06:01,005 before you just pass out and you just never wake up again. 160 00:06:01,089 --> 00:06:03,005 SPIKE MARTIN: Don't forget the organ failure. 161 00:06:03,089 --> 00:06:05,464 Oh, I almost forgot the organ failure. 162 00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:08,422 (SIGHS) I've just seen my perfect Space Baby. 163 00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:09,964 Iris, you should prepare to enjoy 164 00:06:10,047 --> 00:06:11,255 your last moments of happiness, 165 00:06:11,339 --> 00:06:14,214 because we think we may have an oxygen leak. 166 00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:15,547 -An oxygen leak? -ALL: Shh! 167 00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:17,381 BILLIE: Freak out into your hand and cover your mouth. 168 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,255 -Do we have enough to get home? -SPIKE: It depends. 169 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:22,631 Vigorous activity would drain this turkey in no time. 170 00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:25,005 I'm talking exercise, singing, 171 00:06:25,089 --> 00:06:27,130 lovemaking, if you're doing it right. 172 00:06:27,214 --> 00:06:28,214 Ugh. 173 00:06:28,297 --> 00:06:29,839 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Hey! Hi there. Howdy. 174 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,464 You keep greeting people in triplicate, 175 00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:33,506 we'll be dead by Tuesday. 176 00:06:33,589 --> 00:06:34,714 -Karen. -KAREN: Hey. 177 00:06:34,798 --> 00:06:35,881 Why do you all look so jumpy? 178 00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:40,047 We... have a leak. We're running out of oxygen. 179 00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:42,214 -A leak?! -(STIFLED MUTTERS) 180 00:06:42,297 --> 00:06:44,547 What is this ship made of, tin foil? 181 00:06:44,631 --> 00:06:46,172 -(SPIKE CHUCKLES) -(LOUD BEEP) 182 00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:47,130 Hi, girl. 183 00:06:47,214 --> 00:06:48,714 I don't actually think this is about 184 00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:50,547 that non-combat-ready baby. 185 00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:51,756 I think it's about 186 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,923 what your inner voice is telling you about yourself. 187 00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:57,214 -What is it saying? -The one I'm using now? 188 00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:58,714 No, the voice inside your head. 189 00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:02,047 Oh, no, my thoughts connect instantaneously with my mouth. 190 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,422 It's extremely efficient. 191 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,464 Clinically, it's probably very unique. 192 00:07:06,255 --> 00:07:08,381 -(LOUD BEEP) -(GRUNTS) Iris! 193 00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:10,673 MATT: Okay, how about this? 194 00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:12,130 (SIGHS) 195 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,631 You need to change the way they see you. 196 00:07:13,714 --> 00:07:16,130 You need to change the way they see the shit. 197 00:07:16,214 --> 00:07:18,255 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 198 00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,339 Wait... 199 00:07:21,089 --> 00:07:22,297 Are-- Are you... 200 00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:25,464 Are you talking about... 201 00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:26,631 lasers? 202 00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:31,589 Specifically... 203 00:07:31,673 --> 00:07:36,339 illuminating the ring of nasty shit 204 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:40,297 around the ship with some goddamn lasers? 205 00:07:41,297 --> 00:07:42,881 -(LOUD BEEP) -JUDD: Iris! 206 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,297 -Miss Mulcair? (CLEARS THROAT) -Hi. 207 00:07:47,381 --> 00:07:49,464 The President thanks you for your visit, 208 00:07:49,547 --> 00:07:52,381 and I can confirm we will be funding the rescue. 209 00:07:52,464 --> 00:07:53,964 (GASPS) Oh, knock me sideways! 210 00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:57,297 That is like diving into a bath of beans! 211 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,798 Well, once you clear it with the Other President, 212 00:07:59,881 --> 00:08:00,839 you are good to go! 213 00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:03,381 I'm sorry? The Other President? 214 00:08:03,464 --> 00:08:06,172 I assumed the Other President was already across this. 215 00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:08,047 We don't like to bother the Other President 216 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:09,589 unless it's absolutely necessary. 217 00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,339 -No? -So, if you could just slip on 218 00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:13,047 these electrostatic shoe covers... 219 00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,964 -Right, okay, right. -If we could just get a move on. 220 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:19,881 Okay. Let's go and... (CHUCKLES) ...do this! 221 00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:25,172 ♪ (SOMBER STRING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 222 00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:28,756 (LOUD BEEP) 223 00:08:31,881 --> 00:08:32,923 (LOUD BEEP) 224 00:08:33,964 --> 00:08:35,297 (SIGHS) 225 00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:38,130 -(LOUD BEEP) -(SIGHS) 226 00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:41,255 -(LOUD BEEP) -(SCREAMS) 227 00:08:44,756 --> 00:08:46,756 -(LOUD BEEP) -(HEAVY SIGH) 228 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,089 (LOUD BEEP) 229 00:08:56,547 --> 00:08:59,714 JUDD: Good morning and so forth. Mm-hmm. 230 00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:02,172 -Oh, Mr. Judd-- -JUDD: Great. 231 00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:05,381 Shall we begin this meeting forthwith heretofore, please? 232 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,089 All right, so, uh, welcome 233 00:09:10,172 --> 00:09:14,881 to this first passenger-crew liaison meeting. 234 00:09:14,964 --> 00:09:16,839 -(LOUD BEEP) -(RYAN CHOKES) 235 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,047 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Fucking hands! 236 00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,923 All you had to do was hold the cup! 237 00:09:21,005 --> 00:09:23,381 -Fumbling bitches... -MIA: Is he British? 238 00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:25,047 -No, he's doing a voice. -Oh, okay. 239 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:27,047 You know it's coming, then you forget it's coming, 240 00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,631 -and it just-- -JUDD: Set a reminder, uh, 241 00:09:28,714 --> 00:09:30,047 pre-beep to remind me of the big beep. 242 00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,881 -You got it, baby. -Already on it, thank you, Matt. 243 00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:34,381 KAREN: All right, so, I think it would be fitting 244 00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:37,673 -to start with an apology. -JUDD: I accept. 245 00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:40,047 From you to me, you big S-gibbon, 246 00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:43,214 because you tried to fire my husband out the ship! 247 00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:45,047 Mm-mm. I never say sorry. 248 00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,881 Like my hero, Gandhi. 249 00:09:46,964 --> 00:09:49,714 All right. Agenda, shall we? 250 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,255 I have a question. 251 00:09:51,339 --> 00:09:54,756 I would like a new cabin away from my broken prophylactic 252 00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:55,964 -of a husband. -Will you-- 253 00:09:56,047 --> 00:09:58,631 All due respect, normo, we have bigger fish to fry. 254 00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,756 Second that. And we can't afford the air. 255 00:10:00,839 --> 00:10:02,130 -Right. -MIA: Wait, why not? 256 00:10:02,214 --> 00:10:03,464 -(SNAPS) -(LOUD BEEP) 257 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,381 -(LAUGHS) -What do you mean, you can't afford the air? 258 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:07,923 -Iris, did you-- did you just laugh? -You're delirious. 259 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,923 JUDD: All right, so, I have figured out a way 260 00:10:11,005 --> 00:10:14,047 to re-perceive the turd sleeve around this ship. 261 00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:17,130 Three words: theatrical lighting rig. 262 00:10:17,214 --> 00:10:20,756 And here's five: what, what, and why? 263 00:10:20,839 --> 00:10:22,673 Uh... No, that's four. 264 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,756 Fuck, I'm so tired. Jesus. 265 00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:25,756 I'm sorry, are we running out of air? 266 00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:27,214 -Yeah. -MIA: Like, actual air? 267 00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:28,756 Not, like, cooking air 268 00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:30,714 or, you know, like, air conditioning-- 269 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,631 In nine months, so don't get pregnant, 270 00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:34,130 that'd be a complete waste of time. 271 00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:37,047 Okay, I'm-- I'm calm. I'm not gonna tell anybody. 272 00:10:37,714 --> 00:10:39,464 Good. All right. 273 00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:41,881 -So, can we just focus-- -I thought I was calm, 274 00:10:41,964 --> 00:10:44,130 but I am not fucking calm. I don't wanna die! 275 00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,172 I don't wanna run out of air! 276 00:10:46,255 --> 00:10:47,506 -Thank you. -(LOUD BEEP) 277 00:10:55,339 --> 00:10:58,673 -Hey, Secretary of State. -Hi, Judd Galaxy. 278 00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:01,506 I like your nails. 279 00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,756 -Thank you. -You got any wax? 280 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,339 -This string's dried out. -What, crossbow wax? 281 00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:10,881 Ooh, let me have a look. No, sorry. 282 00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:12,547 -(BEEP) -Oh, it's me. 283 00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:17,464 (WHISPERS) Okay. Do I just...? 284 00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,964 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: (ROBOTIC MALE VOICE) Miss Mulcair, please clearly 285 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,339 and audibly state your business. 286 00:11:21,422 --> 00:11:25,089 Right, hello. Uh, I am here on behalf of Judd Galaxy. 287 00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:28,172 We urgently need rescue funds. 288 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,339 Four point two three trillion dollars. 289 00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:35,255 I believe written materials have been submitted directly... 290 00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,047 into you? 291 00:11:38,589 --> 00:11:40,714 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: We will redirect funds from the... 292 00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,547 (FEMALE VOICE) ...National Child Welfare... 293 00:11:42,631 --> 00:11:43,589 (MALE VOICE) ...program. 294 00:11:43,673 --> 00:11:47,381 Oh. Oh, my God. This-- This is... 295 00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:50,047 (LAUGHS) ...everything! 296 00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:51,714 Thank you so much! 297 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:54,130 I have been in such a dark place. 298 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,798 Can I-- No? No? (CHUCKLES) 299 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,381 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 300 00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,381 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: Please, will you consider the removal 301 00:11:59,464 --> 00:12:01,297 of 500 non-essential passengers? 302 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,631 Right. 303 00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:08,464 I absolutely hear... what you're saying. 304 00:12:08,547 --> 00:12:11,798 It's just that that would raise one or two 305 00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:14,005 -ethical questions-- -Thank you! 306 00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:16,339 Your query has been forwarded to the... 307 00:12:16,422 --> 00:12:17,714 (DEEP MALE VOICE) ...Department of Ethics. 308 00:12:17,798 --> 00:12:19,798 -But, uh... -Goodbye. Have a nice day. 309 00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:21,881 RAV MULCAIR: No. No, no, no, no. 310 00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:24,130 KAREN: All right, so I appreciate that some of us 311 00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:26,631 are sleep-victimized. However, 312 00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,339 bearing in mind the scarcity of resources, 313 00:12:29,422 --> 00:12:31,547 can we try to keep lang' at an abs' min'? 314 00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:35,464 -Wh-- What are you saying? -I am trying to conserve oxygen 315 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,839 by... 'bridging my w'rds. 316 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,756 Well, it's highly, highly confusing. 317 00:12:39,839 --> 00:12:41,714 You see, you did not need the second "highly," 318 00:12:41,798 --> 00:12:43,923 -one would've s'ff'c'd. -Would-- 319 00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:45,005 -Sufficed. -Ugh. 320 00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:46,923 -Jesus frazzling Christ! -Oh, my God. 321 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:49,297 Can we skip the missing letters round? 322 00:12:49,381 --> 00:12:51,297 I've just reconsidered your earlier point, 323 00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:53,422 re: an apology. S'ry. 324 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,005 -(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS KIMURA LAUGHS) 325 00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:57,422 -Iris, you laughed! -Fine! I'm s-- 326 00:12:57,506 --> 00:12:59,339 -What's the matter with you? -I-- I find it amusing. 327 00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:02,589 (SNICKERING) I don't know why, it just... beep! 328 00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,923 Why are you being such a baby, Iris? Hmm? 329 00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:07,005 You like babies so much you wanna be one? 330 00:13:07,089 --> 00:13:09,756 Question: are we really running out of air? 331 00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:12,589 -Supplemental: what the fuck? -JUDD: Yes! 332 00:13:12,673 --> 00:13:14,047 To your first question. 333 00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,422 I don't know how to answer your second question. 334 00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:19,130 But Matty and I have come up with 335 00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:21,547 a series of oxygen conservation policies. 336 00:13:21,631 --> 00:13:23,089 "Oxygen conservation policies." 337 00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:24,464 Well, that's a lungful right there. 338 00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:26,714 Let's try to keep the energy positive around Mr. Judd 339 00:13:26,798 --> 00:13:28,589 -while he pupates. -While he what? 340 00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:29,839 While he pupates. 341 00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:32,297 I've gone through a period of serious introspection 342 00:13:32,381 --> 00:13:33,422 since last night. 343 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,172 Okay, so first of-- 344 00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:38,297 Oh, also, you should know, I-- I tent now. 345 00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:41,673 First up, no running. Leads to panting. 346 00:13:41,756 --> 00:13:43,422 -Don't do it. -Oh, secondly, 347 00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:47,255 fat people shouldn't use stairs, and avoid any incline. 348 00:13:47,339 --> 00:13:49,839 Direct! Merciless. Yes. 349 00:13:49,923 --> 00:13:51,756 Uh, fat people should not exert themselves. 350 00:13:51,839 --> 00:13:55,089 -By fat people, do you mean... -Anyone over two-- 351 00:13:55,172 --> 00:13:57,130 Two hundred and fifty-seven pounds. 352 00:13:57,214 --> 00:13:59,464 -JUDD: Mm-mm. -IRIS: Mm-hmm. 353 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,798 -JUDD: Mm-hmm? -IRIS: Mm-hmm. 354 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:05,130 Okay, uh, yes, a 257-pound cutoff. 355 00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:07,923 RYAN: So what are we going to do? We're gonna weigh people as they go about their-- 356 00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,339 -Are you really asking questions about-- -JUDD: You know what? Everyone-- 357 00:14:10,422 --> 00:14:13,172 please get outta here. I-- I need a safe space to create. 358 00:14:13,255 --> 00:14:16,172 Just me, Matty, and the person whose name I ignored. 359 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,547 -Who's that? -JUDD: You. 360 00:14:17,631 --> 00:14:18,673 Okay. 361 00:14:18,756 --> 00:14:20,839 That guy is a complete moron. The more he talks, 362 00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:23,589 -the more in danger we all are. -Unless we 'M' him. 363 00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:25,130 Okay, Karen, you gotta stop saying that. 364 00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:27,297 -That is clearly not an option-- -(KAREN CLEARS THROAT) 365 00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,339 Life coached by Matt? 366 00:14:29,422 --> 00:14:31,297 That's like being taught to drive by a hen. 367 00:14:31,381 --> 00:14:33,381 We're running out of oxygen and he's "pupating." 368 00:14:33,464 --> 00:14:34,756 He could kill us all. 369 00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:39,881 KAREN: Well, you know, Iris, we could... sedate him. 370 00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,714 Yeah, no, that could work. That could actually work. 371 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,214 Well, we could double the dose? 372 00:14:44,297 --> 00:14:45,381 He might have a stroke, 373 00:14:45,464 --> 00:14:47,673 then you'll only be physically wiping his ass. 374 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:51,339 Right. Where are we gonna get sedatives and a dart gun? 375 00:14:51,422 --> 00:14:52,714 Well, Matt monitors the supply, 376 00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:55,756 and I bet he has full access to whatev' they got down there. 377 00:14:55,839 --> 00:14:57,381 Sir, it's Rav for you. 378 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,714 We round Jupiter in three minutes and lose comms. 379 00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:01,881 My cabin is closest, so stride with me. 380 00:15:01,964 --> 00:15:05,297 Excuse me! Karen Kelly! Make a hole, or I will! 381 00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:09,673 (LOUD BEEP) 382 00:15:09,756 --> 00:15:11,381 -RYAN: Gah... -(IRIS LAUGHS) 383 00:15:11,464 --> 00:15:12,964 -(CLEARS THROAT) -Now, honey, 384 00:15:13,047 --> 00:15:14,339 I have an update for you, 385 00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:17,464 and I don't want you to go all flappy on me. 386 00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:18,839 FRANK KELLY: Okay... 387 00:15:18,923 --> 00:15:20,881 The ship is leaking oxygen. 388 00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:22,005 From what I understand, 389 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,506 it will be like drowning with dirt in your mouth 390 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:25,839 and a tractor on your chest. 391 00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:27,673 Okay. 392 00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:30,839 -That's fine. -(DRINK POURING) 393 00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:33,464 (QUIETLY) Fuck. 394 00:15:34,297 --> 00:15:37,047 (SOBBING) 395 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,881 Sorry. I'm sorry. It's only oxygen. 396 00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:41,172 KAREN: All right. 397 00:15:41,255 --> 00:15:42,339 So don't talk, 398 00:15:42,422 --> 00:15:45,047 because then you will last marginally longer. 399 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:45,964 Attaboy. 400 00:15:46,047 --> 00:15:47,923 Okay, guys, I think we're on. Yeah. 401 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:50,798 And we don't have long with her, and it could get a little bit glitchy. 402 00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:52,214 RAV: (THROUGH SPEAKER) Hello-- speaking-- Hello? 403 00:15:52,297 --> 00:15:53,756 (AUDIO GLITCHING) Great. Hi! I-- start speaking. 404 00:15:53,839 --> 00:15:55,422 I'm gonna start speaking before-- get cut off. 405 00:15:55,506 --> 00:15:57,798 I have some good news and some not so good news. 406 00:15:57,881 --> 00:16:01,047 The good news is... we have funding! 407 00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:03,756 Yay! Come on! (LAUGHS) 408 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,589 Wh-- What was that? What did she-- 409 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,381 -She said they had funding. -BILLIE: Shush! Yes, yes, shush! -The not so good news is 410 00:16:08,464 --> 00:16:11,297 the Other President suggested we explore losing... 411 00:16:11,381 --> 00:16:14,172 (LAUGHS) ...500 NEPs, but I rejected that, 412 00:16:14,255 --> 00:16:18,297 I said, "No, we are not killing 500 people, not today!" 413 00:16:18,381 --> 00:16:20,339 (GLITCHING) Other President sug-- we explore 414 00:16:20,422 --> 00:16:22,631 losing 500 NEPs-- (SILENCE) 415 00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:25,047 BILLIE: Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. No, no, no! No! 416 00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:27,923 -No, now Earth is the other side of Jupiter. -(RYAN SIGHS) 417 00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:30,839 -What's NEPs? -Non-essential personnel, like-- 418 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,673 -Mm-- Mm-mm. -RYAN: Okay. That is not on the table. 419 00:16:33,756 --> 00:16:37,589 We are not getting rid of 500 non-essential personnel. 420 00:16:37,673 --> 00:16:38,964 My hands always get clammy 421 00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:40,923 whenever I shower in a strange room. 422 00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:42,130 -(LOUD BEEP) -Fuck you, Doug! 423 00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:44,798 -RYAN: How are you here? -Yeah, what the actual frig? 424 00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:47,214 Are you wearing Frank's clothes? 425 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,547 -Two sugars? -Yeah. 426 00:16:48,631 --> 00:16:51,339 DOUG: I have just been ordered homeless by Herman Judd, 427 00:16:51,422 --> 00:16:53,297 so I no longer have access to a bathroom. 428 00:16:53,381 --> 00:16:55,214 Oh, great. You see this, Frank? 429 00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:57,172 He's using you as a toilet friend. 430 00:16:57,255 --> 00:16:58,589 DOUG: Are you guys seriously considering 431 00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:00,339 getting rid of 500 passengers? 432 00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:03,089 No, and you are not gonna say it out there. All right? 433 00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,631 And you're particularly not gonna say it 434 00:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,297 -in front of Herman Judd. -(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS LAUGHS) 435 00:17:06,381 --> 00:17:09,089 -RYAN: Oh, you-- monotonal fuck! -Fuck you, Doug! 436 00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:16,756 -(LOUD BEEP) -Good morning, everyone! 437 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:18,798 We finally have a baby name. 438 00:17:19,381 --> 00:17:20,422 Kayden! 439 00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,005 -Kayden? -That's an asshole name! 440 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:28,339 Okay, it's just a word. 441 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,297 IRIS: And you're an asshole, asshole. 442 00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:33,547 -Oh, you. -Doug. 443 00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,297 You look different. Fatter, maybe? 444 00:17:35,381 --> 00:17:37,547 No, it's probably just my spirit swelling 445 00:17:37,631 --> 00:17:40,464 -now that I'm not with you. -(CHUCKLES) 446 00:17:40,547 --> 00:17:43,047 -Hey, you're hiding something. -I don't know what you're talking about. 447 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,214 I know that, Doug, that's your factory setting. 448 00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:47,506 Actually, I-- I have been made privy to something. 449 00:17:47,589 --> 00:17:49,047 Okay, so you know about 450 00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:50,798 -the oxygen. -The passengers. 451 00:17:50,881 --> 00:17:52,214 -Oxygen? -The shortage. 452 00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:53,714 -There's a shortage of air? -Yes! 453 00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,464 -Holy fuck! Are you kid-- -Okay, okay-- 454 00:17:55,547 --> 00:17:56,923 -Oh, my God, are you serious? -Stop panicking. 455 00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:59,005 This is when one panics! We are running out of air 456 00:17:59,089 --> 00:18:01,339 and they're shooting 500 passengers out of the airlock. 457 00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:02,381 -What? -Yes! 458 00:18:02,464 --> 00:18:04,089 The airlock? Oh, my God! Oh, my fucking God! 459 00:18:04,172 --> 00:18:05,381 -That's horrible. -This is panicking! 460 00:18:05,464 --> 00:18:07,047 -Why can you panic and I can't-- -I'm not panicking! 461 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:09,631 -Yeah, neither was I! -Then stop and lower your voice! 462 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,881 Fine. 463 00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:14,589 Also, the captain is speaking in that British voice-- 464 00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:17,381 -Yeah, I heard that. -All right, listen, fucker, 465 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,089 if they start suggesting names of passengers, 466 00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,631 let's not suggest each other, all right? 467 00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:23,214 -That's actually a really good-- -Okay, fine. 468 00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:24,422 -Good plan. -All right. 469 00:18:24,506 --> 00:18:25,756 (SCOFFS) Put your hard-on away. 470 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,547 This is purely self-preservation. 471 00:18:27,631 --> 00:18:28,923 Yeah, I think the same thing. 472 00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:29,923 -Great. -All right, see you l-- 473 00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:31,255 -See you around. -Okay. See you never. 474 00:18:31,339 --> 00:18:32,756 -Come on. -(LOUD BEEP) 475 00:18:32,839 --> 00:18:34,881 -Fuck you! -No, fuck you, Doug! 476 00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:37,673 Do you wanna-- 477 00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:42,005 Okay, Matt, uh... (SIGHS) 478 00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:46,464 (LOUD BEEP) 479 00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:48,214 Uh, I-- I, um... 480 00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:50,255 -I need you to hook me up. -MATT: What do you need? 481 00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,172 Synthetic veal? Porno? Mint jelly? 482 00:18:52,255 --> 00:18:53,714 All of them, if you can. 483 00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:56,130 -(CHUCKLES) Jesus! -But first, I-- I, uh... 484 00:18:56,214 --> 00:19:00,589 I actually want lots and lots and lots of sedatives. 485 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,964 Look, my area of expertise is pretty limited. 486 00:19:04,047 --> 00:19:06,589 It's basically recreational barbiturates, 487 00:19:06,673 --> 00:19:09,839 Eastern sex practices, Christmas music. 488 00:19:09,923 --> 00:19:13,756 But I do know suffering, and you're suffering. 489 00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:16,631 So I just need a little bit more information to make sure 490 00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:19,756 I'm not causing more harm than I'm fixing. 491 00:19:21,506 --> 00:19:23,589 -I was bullied at school. -Was it your ears? 492 00:19:23,673 --> 00:19:24,923 What? No. What do you mean? 493 00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:26,214 -What's wrong with my ears? -Nothing. 494 00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:28,923 But that is what I would go in on, if I was bullying you. 495 00:19:29,005 --> 00:19:30,130 I'd make you self-conscious 496 00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:31,631 about something that isn't even a thing 497 00:19:31,714 --> 00:19:33,714 because it makes you question your sanity. 498 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,923 Ain't that right, you jar-eared Dumbo fuck? 499 00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,673 -It's brutal. -I-- Yeah-- Mm. 500 00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:42,631 You're right, I hate my ears. Yeah. 501 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:43,923 -Sedatives? -I mean, look at you. 502 00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:45,839 You're like a gimp on a leash right now. 503 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,673 -Mm-hmm. -You'd do anything for these drugs. 504 00:19:47,756 --> 00:19:49,506 -Anything. -And if I don't give 'em to you, 505 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,381 you're probably gonna go below decks... 506 00:19:51,464 --> 00:19:52,714 and get them from the guys down there. 507 00:19:52,798 --> 00:19:54,673 But you're gonna have to sexually humiliate yourself. 508 00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,172 You are so good. You're right. 509 00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:58,839 I was this close to going down there and... 510 00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:00,464 showing someone my bottom. 511 00:20:01,631 --> 00:20:03,005 (LOUD BEEP) 512 00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:04,422 (HEAVY SIGH) 513 00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:10,005 Well, I... I got the, um, the sleeping... 514 00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:12,297 -Oh. -Yeah. Take two of these, 515 00:20:12,381 --> 00:20:14,506 it's like you've died and gone to the opera. 516 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:15,714 BILLIE: All right, so give me one 517 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,631 because I'm so tired that my hair hurts me. 518 00:20:18,714 --> 00:20:21,130 (YAWNS) Oh, no. These are for, um... 519 00:20:21,214 --> 00:20:24,297 what's the-- who's the guy who runs Judd Industries? 520 00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:25,881 -BOTH: Judd. -RYAN: Yes. 521 00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:30,339 So, apparently, even, uh, Space Baby can't sleep. 522 00:20:30,422 --> 00:20:31,964 Respectfully, fuck him. 523 00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:34,381 No, seriously, 'cause he's-- he's in an incubator, 524 00:20:34,464 --> 00:20:36,214 those things are soundproofed to balls. 525 00:20:36,297 --> 00:20:39,172 I'll take the sedatives, and I'll go Judd drug. 526 00:20:39,255 --> 00:20:42,255 No, Karen, you will kill him. There's a difference. 527 00:20:42,339 --> 00:20:44,964 Okay, so you two give me the, um... 528 00:20:46,673 --> 00:20:49,673 them things, and then I'll go... 529 00:20:50,297 --> 00:20:51,297 What? 530 00:20:51,381 --> 00:20:52,714 I'll go to-- Who they for? 531 00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:54,422 -(LOUD BEEP) -(KAREN GROANS) 532 00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:56,464 -I'll take them. I'll take-- -Oh, no, no, Billie, Billie, no-- 533 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,255 -Yeah, but I'm gonna give them-- -Billie, give them to me. -Okay-- 534 00:20:59,339 --> 00:21:00,422 Oh, look, it's the king! 535 00:21:00,506 --> 00:21:01,839 -Where? -A-ha! 536 00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:05,005 In your face, you and-- and the other one. 537 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:07,047 Okay. Michele's an engineer, 538 00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:08,339 you tell him exactly what you want. 539 00:21:08,422 --> 00:21:10,839 -Get as technical as you like. -JUDD: Okay. 540 00:21:11,756 --> 00:21:12,589 Michele, huh? 541 00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,464 I don't like boys with girls' names. 542 00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:15,673 Okay, so... 543 00:21:16,923 --> 00:21:22,339 We fire the glitter at the turds as we turn the lasers on? 544 00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:25,339 Or... sequins. 545 00:21:25,422 --> 00:21:31,422 Maybe sequin bombs that we make from degradable plastics, 546 00:21:31,506 --> 00:21:34,881 and then shoot them at the turds. 547 00:21:34,964 --> 00:21:39,172 I'm thinking six every two minutes, 548 00:21:39,255 --> 00:21:42,047 to ensure a steady shimmer. 549 00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:45,464 Then glitter, then confetti, 550 00:21:45,547 --> 00:21:50,255 then, maybe, fairy lights, if we all feel we've earned it. 551 00:21:50,339 --> 00:21:51,964 Okay, read it back to me. 552 00:21:52,047 --> 00:21:53,130 Let's make a sex tape! 553 00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:54,839 Get out of my line of sight. 554 00:21:54,923 --> 00:21:57,422 (JINGLE PINGS) 555 00:21:59,422 --> 00:22:00,714 -(EXHALES) -MATT: Action. 556 00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:04,047 Herman Judd here, with a brief word. 557 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:06,714 Indeed, all of our words must now be brief. 558 00:22:06,798 --> 00:22:09,422 That is because we're running out of breathable air. 559 00:22:09,506 --> 00:22:11,130 (ALL GASP) 560 00:22:11,214 --> 00:22:13,923 I had intended to ease into that one. 561 00:22:14,005 --> 00:22:17,506 We will plug this leak. But until we do, 562 00:22:17,589 --> 00:22:19,964 you must remain breathing steadily 563 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,839 to minimize all oxygen usage. 564 00:22:22,923 --> 00:22:26,631 And cut out all unnecessary conversation. 565 00:22:26,714 --> 00:22:29,005 No sighing, no gasping, 566 00:22:29,089 --> 00:22:32,297 no unnecessary sneezing, no flouncing. 567 00:22:32,381 --> 00:22:34,714 If you have to be passive aggressive, 568 00:22:34,798 --> 00:22:36,547 do it only with your eyes. 569 00:22:37,964 --> 00:22:39,172 Relax. 570 00:22:39,255 --> 00:22:40,631 -(LOUD BEEP) -JUDD: Iris! 571 00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,964 No, no, no, wait. This is recorded. That's... 572 00:22:43,047 --> 00:22:44,130 that's not the actual beep. 573 00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:46,839 -JUDD: But do remain breathing calmly. 574 00:22:46,923 --> 00:22:49,506 -(LOUD BEEP) -That's the actual beep. 575 00:22:49,589 --> 00:22:52,589 That is now a legal requirement. 576 00:22:53,631 --> 00:22:54,714 Thanks, gang. 577 00:22:57,506 --> 00:22:59,130 (QUIETLY) Okay, I'm gonna tell a joke now. 578 00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:01,756 The setup is that there are three men 579 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,089 of three different nationalities. 580 00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:05,422 I won't tell you which nationalities, 581 00:23:05,506 --> 00:23:07,214 'cause otherwise you might find it amusing. 582 00:23:07,297 --> 00:23:09,339 The punchline is that one of the men in the joke 583 00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:10,798 is considerably more parsimonious 584 00:23:10,881 --> 00:23:13,172 than the other two men in the joke. 585 00:23:13,255 --> 00:23:14,756 Thus concludes the joke. 586 00:23:15,547 --> 00:23:17,130 That was not funny. 587 00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,964 Here it comes. 588 00:23:20,923 --> 00:23:22,339 -(LOUD BEEP) -(CHUCKLES) 589 00:23:22,839 --> 00:23:24,089 JUDD: Iris! 590 00:23:25,673 --> 00:23:27,506 (WHISPERING) As I walk up, there's these cars 591 00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:29,255 falling out of the bed. It was just-- 592 00:23:29,339 --> 00:23:31,464 What is the nature of this conversation? 593 00:23:31,547 --> 00:23:33,881 Uh, I'm just talking about my grandchildren. 594 00:23:33,964 --> 00:23:35,881 Would you classify it as essential? 595 00:23:35,964 --> 00:23:37,506 News flash: it isn't. 596 00:23:39,214 --> 00:23:41,589 Okay, now I'm gonna do some oxygen-efficient banter 597 00:23:41,673 --> 00:23:42,756 with the audience. 598 00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:44,839 -Ma'am, where are you from? -Utah. 599 00:23:46,839 --> 00:23:47,756 That's nice. 600 00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:49,839 (WHISPERING) You are banal as shit. 601 00:23:52,673 --> 00:23:53,673 (LOUD BEEP) 602 00:23:55,381 --> 00:23:57,464 -♪ (SAXOPHONE PLAYING) ♪ -(LOUD BEEP) 603 00:23:57,547 --> 00:23:59,464 I hear ya, honey. 604 00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:01,964 -♪ (SAXOPHONE RESUMES) ♪ -Shoehorns are weird, aren't they? 605 00:24:02,964 --> 00:24:05,381 Thus concludes the shoehorns section. 606 00:24:05,964 --> 00:24:07,005 Thank you. 607 00:24:10,381 --> 00:24:11,714 (LOUD BEEP) 608 00:24:15,381 --> 00:24:16,422 (WHISPERING) I thought I'd set up-- 609 00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:18,047 (WHISPERING) I can't-- I can't. I'm sorry. 610 00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:21,714 I said, I thought I'd set up in a space 611 00:24:21,798 --> 00:24:23,589 where everyone feels welcome. 612 00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:25,506 In God's office? 613 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:28,005 Jesus, Vishnu, Allah, Karen Kelly. 614 00:24:28,089 --> 00:24:31,214 (CHUCKLES) I think I have a ways to go just yet. 615 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:32,339 -RYAN: Sedatives. -KAREN: Oh-- 616 00:24:32,422 --> 00:24:33,798 JUDD: (WHISPERING) Ryan! 617 00:24:33,881 --> 00:24:37,297 Get ready to have your butt and/or ball blown off. 618 00:24:37,381 --> 00:24:40,381 (WHISPERING) Mr. Judd is about to perform his first miracle. 619 00:24:40,464 --> 00:24:43,589 We're gonna sparklify the Halo of Crud. 620 00:24:43,673 --> 00:24:44,923 (LOUD BEEP) 621 00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:47,464 IRIS: (WHISPERING LOUDLY) I have an update. 622 00:24:47,547 --> 00:24:51,130 Space Baby has jaundice. He's on a respirator. 623 00:24:51,214 --> 00:24:53,964 Jaundice? Somebody's got a weak liver. 624 00:24:54,047 --> 00:24:55,172 -Is he okay? -IRIS: He's fine, 625 00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:57,255 just laying there with his oxygen mask. 626 00:24:57,339 --> 00:24:58,464 Greedy little fuck. 627 00:24:58,547 --> 00:25:01,214 Yeah! There's my girl. Welcome back. Missed you, girl. 628 00:25:01,297 --> 00:25:04,089 (LOUDLY) Yeah, fuck Space Baby, stealing all our oxygen. 629 00:25:04,172 --> 00:25:06,047 (WHISPERING) Who's stealing the oxygen? What's going on? 630 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,464 WOMAN 1: We just heard the news. 631 00:25:07,547 --> 00:25:08,798 Oh, shit. They told you? 632 00:25:08,881 --> 00:25:10,673 About the 500 NEPs they're shooting into space? 633 00:25:10,756 --> 00:25:12,339 -What? Doug, what are you doing? -(CROWD CLAMORS) 634 00:25:12,422 --> 00:25:14,005 -You're such an idiot. -I'm whispering so we're-- 635 00:25:14,089 --> 00:25:16,005 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -Shh, shh, shh-- 636 00:25:16,089 --> 00:25:17,798 (SHOUTS IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Quiet! 637 00:25:17,881 --> 00:25:19,923 You... chattering... 638 00:25:20,464 --> 00:25:21,839 fucks! 639 00:25:21,923 --> 00:25:22,881 (SOFTLY) Can you hear me? 640 00:25:22,964 --> 00:25:24,089 -Yes. -I can. 641 00:25:24,172 --> 00:25:26,172 -What about now? -Yes. It was the same. 642 00:25:26,255 --> 00:25:27,255 (WHISPERS) What about now? 643 00:25:27,339 --> 00:25:28,297 -Too low. -Too low. 644 00:25:28,381 --> 00:25:29,422 Okay, I'll go up. 645 00:25:29,506 --> 00:25:31,130 -(FRANK SNEEZES) -RYAN: Bless you. 646 00:25:31,214 --> 00:25:32,798 -(SNEEZES) -DOUG: Oxygen-- 647 00:25:32,881 --> 00:25:34,005 -(COUGHS) -MAN 2: Fuck! 648 00:25:34,089 --> 00:25:35,255 Shut up, Frank! 649 00:25:36,839 --> 00:25:38,005 -Now that you have-- -(SNEEZES) 650 00:25:38,089 --> 00:25:39,964 -DOUG: Guys. Please. Guys. -Oh, my God. 651 00:25:40,047 --> 00:25:41,589 DOUG: That's like a full tank. 652 00:25:43,714 --> 00:25:46,339 You have to think before you speak. 653 00:25:46,422 --> 00:25:47,798 And then, think again. 654 00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,255 And then think, "I shouldn't speak." 655 00:25:50,339 --> 00:25:52,673 And then, don't speak. 656 00:25:53,631 --> 00:25:54,798 -(LOUD BEEP) -Iris! 657 00:25:54,881 --> 00:25:56,047 -Fuck you, Doug! -Hey, you. 658 00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:57,381 What are NEPs? 659 00:25:57,464 --> 00:25:59,214 They're non-essential personnel. 660 00:25:59,297 --> 00:26:00,589 -MAN 3: What?! -I-- 661 00:26:01,673 --> 00:26:04,089 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Iris, will you shut the fuck up? 662 00:26:04,172 --> 00:26:07,089 Is it true? You're just gonna kill 500 passengers? 663 00:26:07,172 --> 00:26:08,964 Why wasn't I notified? 664 00:26:09,798 --> 00:26:11,339 Was I notified? 665 00:26:11,422 --> 00:26:12,631 When was I notified? 666 00:26:12,714 --> 00:26:15,631 Who are you to determine who is essential? 667 00:26:15,714 --> 00:26:19,172 I can't go. I'm the only radiologist in outer space. 668 00:26:19,255 --> 00:26:20,881 Darrell, I'm standing right here! 669 00:26:20,964 --> 00:26:23,756 We've been colleagues for years! 670 00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:25,839 (WHISPERING) It's not an oxygen beep. 671 00:26:25,923 --> 00:26:28,214 (LAUGHING) It's not an oxygen beep! 672 00:26:28,297 --> 00:26:30,881 I checked all the tanks, and the beeping 673 00:26:31,005 --> 00:26:34,381 is the ship telling us to recalibrate for the baby. 674 00:26:34,464 --> 00:26:36,589 -(KAREN GASPS) -There's an extra passenger. 675 00:26:36,673 --> 00:26:38,089 It needs to recalibrate. 676 00:26:38,172 --> 00:26:39,089 There's no oxygen-- 677 00:26:39,172 --> 00:26:40,381 SPIKE: That would be the other reason. 678 00:26:40,464 --> 00:26:41,839 -MAN 4: Oh, my-- -What, you-- you didn't 679 00:26:41,923 --> 00:26:44,172 -rule that out already, huh? -Shut up, Spike. 680 00:26:44,255 --> 00:26:46,214 BILLIE: There is air. There is enough air 681 00:26:46,297 --> 00:26:49,381 for maybe some of you to thank me. I'm Billie. 682 00:26:49,464 --> 00:26:50,547 (LOUDLY) We have air? 683 00:26:50,631 --> 00:26:52,756 -Yeah, we have air. -So we can shout? 684 00:26:52,839 --> 00:26:54,339 If you want to, I guess, yes. 685 00:26:54,422 --> 00:26:55,923 (SHOUTING) You guys were trying to kill us! 686 00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:57,506 Yeah, you had a list going! Guess what? 687 00:26:57,589 --> 00:26:59,089 Now we're gonna make a fucking list! 688 00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:01,339 -And you all... -I don't even care about names, 689 00:27:01,422 --> 00:27:02,547 I just want blood. 690 00:27:02,631 --> 00:27:04,756 And... light 'em up! 691 00:27:04,839 --> 00:27:06,589 -♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(ALL GASP) 692 00:27:06,673 --> 00:27:08,923 -MAN 5: Oh, my... -WOMAN 2: Oh! 693 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:10,464 RYAN: Wow. 694 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:12,547 Oh, my God, it's beautiful! 695 00:27:14,047 --> 00:27:15,339 BILLIE: It is beautiful. 696 00:27:16,464 --> 00:27:18,297 Until you really think about it. 697 00:27:18,381 --> 00:27:21,130 Who knew shit could be so enchanting? 698 00:27:21,214 --> 00:27:23,923 Me. I did. I knew. 699 00:27:24,005 --> 00:27:28,339 He's transformed the most disgusting thing imaginable 700 00:27:28,422 --> 00:27:32,339 into a kaleidoscope of butt truffles! 701 00:27:32,422 --> 00:27:35,714 Well, you gotta say, he knows his audience. 702 00:27:35,798 --> 00:27:38,714 So... he lives. For tonight. 703 00:27:38,798 --> 00:27:40,172 RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay, it's over. 704 00:27:40,255 --> 00:27:41,506 The nightmare is over. 705 00:27:41,589 --> 00:27:44,339 This-- this part of the nightmare is over. 706 00:27:44,422 --> 00:27:47,297 (DOUG AND MIA ARGUING) 707 00:27:47,381 --> 00:27:49,172 MATT: Congratulations. 708 00:27:49,255 --> 00:27:51,631 Why don't you give yourself a little pat on the back, 709 00:27:51,714 --> 00:27:53,214 or the ass? 710 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:56,339 Give your ass a little squeeze, and then... 711 00:27:56,422 --> 00:27:59,005 go make love to yourself in a sleazy motel. 712 00:27:59,089 --> 00:28:00,089 (GRUNTS) 713 00:28:00,923 --> 00:28:02,005 You earned it. 714 00:28:02,089 --> 00:28:03,339 You're really fucking weird, dude. 715 00:28:03,422 --> 00:28:04,964 I don't wanna do these hangouts anymore. 716 00:28:05,047 --> 00:28:06,506 They make me kinda sick. 717 00:28:06,589 --> 00:28:08,756 -That's okay. -JUDD: No, it isn't. 718 00:28:11,881 --> 00:28:13,923 -(IRIS SIGHS) -(JUDD GRUNTS) 719 00:28:16,589 --> 00:28:19,214 Your ears are beautiful. 720 00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:21,089 To me. 721 00:28:23,214 --> 00:28:25,923 It's the most plausible he's looked in weeks. 722 00:28:32,839 --> 00:28:34,923 I'm gonna miss talking to ya, sweetie. 723 00:28:43,047 --> 00:28:46,130 -(SNORING) -♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 51311

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