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1
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,631
Captain needs to locate
the lateral access valve.
2
00:00:08,714 --> 00:00:09,631
BILLIE MCEVOY:
Don't worry, Captain!
3
00:00:09,714 --> 00:00:11,005
-(STARTLED)
-You got this!
4
00:00:11,089 --> 00:00:12,756
-(WHISPERS) I've got this.
-(BOTH GRUNT)
5
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,631
-That's it.
-Oh, bugger me!
6
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,047
Oh no!
7
00:00:16,756 --> 00:00:18,005
♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
8
00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:19,631
(CROWDS CHEERING)
9
00:00:19,714 --> 00:00:20,506
Get me a car to Buffalo.
10
00:00:20,589 --> 00:00:21,714
You're going to the White House?
11
00:00:21,798 --> 00:00:23,589
Oh, yes! Time to do
some corporate begging.
12
00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:24,589
ALAN LEWIS: Oh!
13
00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:26,839
-(APPLAUSE)
-RYAN CLARK: Oh, hey! Come on.
14
00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:27,798
I was just doing my job.
15
00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:29,547
Just did what we had to do.
16
00:00:29,631 --> 00:00:30,881
I did what I had to do.
17
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,005
HERMAN JUDD:
It's getting thicker!
18
00:00:32,089 --> 00:00:34,422
-This is your fault.
-It's Frank's fault!
19
00:00:34,506 --> 00:00:36,422
-He hit the big brown buttons.
-KAREN KELLY: Frank!
20
00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,839
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Ship him out!
21
00:00:37,923 --> 00:00:38,881
Frank! Frank!
22
00:00:38,964 --> 00:00:41,339
CLARK: Calm,
and I cannot stress this enough,
23
00:00:41,422 --> 00:00:42,923
the fuck down!
24
00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:45,464
These people
are humanity's finest,
25
00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:47,172
-and they need--
-(RAUCOUS CHATTER)
26
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,964
AIDE:
The president will see you now.
27
00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:49,964
Great.
28
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,297
RYAN CLARK: (ENGLISH ACCENT) He
nearly got Frank space-lynched,
29
00:00:59,381 --> 00:01:01,214
so what are we gonna do
about Judd?
30
00:01:01,297 --> 00:01:03,714
(SCOFFS) Two options.
31
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,547
One, murder. And two,
32
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,839
and I know I keep
looping back to this...
33
00:01:08,923 --> 00:01:09,714
murder.
34
00:01:09,798 --> 00:01:11,631
You keep saying that word,
Karen.
35
00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:14,130
You keep saying it.
36
00:01:14,214 --> 00:01:16,839
Okay, can you please
just let me fix your door?
37
00:01:16,923 --> 00:01:18,881
No.
I'm going to do this myself.
38
00:01:18,964 --> 00:01:22,172
I may be a fake and a fraud
and a terrible lay
39
00:01:22,255 --> 00:01:24,130
and a credit risk
and a tax-dodger
40
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:25,547
and an emotional homunculus,
41
00:01:25,631 --> 00:01:28,422
but I am still a useful,
functioning--
42
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,089
Actually, can you do this?
43
00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:31,214
-Yeah.
-RYAN: Yeah.
44
00:01:32,339 --> 00:01:34,089
-(GASPS) Baby!
-RYAN: What?
45
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,464
A passenger has just gone
into labor.
46
00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:37,089
-There's gonna be a baby!
-BILLIE MCEVOY: Whoa!
47
00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:38,631
Holy shit! We're having a baby?
48
00:01:38,714 --> 00:01:40,172
-Mr. Judd's in there.
-Why?
49
00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:42,631
He's, quote,
"executive producing" the birth.
50
00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:45,589
-Here.
-Yeah, yeah, leave it with me.
51
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,047
(DOOR CLATTERS)
52
00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,756
(KAREN KELLY SIGHS)
53
00:01:48,839 --> 00:01:50,130
-I'm fine. Yeah.
-KAREN: You all right?
54
00:01:50,214 --> 00:01:52,339
That's it, come on!
Get it out of her!
55
00:01:52,422 --> 00:01:54,255
-(CRYING)
-That's it. Hey! Hey!
56
00:01:54,339 --> 00:01:57,839
Vacuum extraction! My idea!
We're gonna suck a person
57
00:01:57,923 --> 00:01:59,631
-out of this person!
-BILLIE: Yeah.
58
00:01:59,714 --> 00:02:00,923
-(HANNAH SCREAMS)
-Let's go!
59
00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:02,839
MATT SPENCER: God,
the baby is going from a womb
60
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,255
surrounded by bodily fluids
61
00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,381
to a ship surrounded
by bodily solids.
62
00:02:06,464 --> 00:02:07,881
Where did you come from,
eyeballs?
63
00:02:07,964 --> 00:02:09,964
Originally? Pennsylvania.
64
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,130
Before the fires.
65
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,130
-(HANNAH SCREAMS)
-HERMAN JUDD: Whoa!
66
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:15,881
(BABY CRIES)
67
00:02:17,005 --> 00:02:18,964
-I'll cut the string.
-Cord.
68
00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:21,297
MATT: Full Hakuna Matata!
69
00:02:21,381 --> 00:02:23,547
-JUDD: There we go. Hey...
-(LOUD BEEP)
70
00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,464
I'm gonna keep the placenta.
Fair's fair.
71
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,214
Have this snap frozen.
Landmark human tissue.
72
00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:32,172
-MATT: You fucking killed it.
-HANNAH: What?
73
00:02:32,255 --> 00:02:34,756
-JUDD: Oh...
-MATT: Like, I'm smiling.
74
00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:36,756
You killed it, like...
(CHUCKLES)
75
00:02:36,839 --> 00:02:37,714
It's a baby.
76
00:02:37,798 --> 00:02:39,255
Yeah, it's really--
It's a good one.
77
00:02:39,339 --> 00:02:41,172
-(BABY GURGLING)
-(LOUD BEEP)
78
00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:46,422
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
79
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,422
People of Avenue 5,
80
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:57,714
I bring you tidings
of great joy.
81
00:02:57,798 --> 00:03:01,172
At 1105 hours today,
we welcomed
82
00:03:01,255 --> 00:03:04,172
-the first ever bab--
-The first baby born in space!
83
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:05,422
(CHEERING)
84
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:07,673
-Oh, I'm so sorry, did you--
-It's fine.
85
00:03:07,756 --> 00:03:09,506
-I just really wanted to say it.
-I'm so sorry.
86
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,714
You know, I sometimes have this
terrible case of Karen Mouth
87
00:03:12,798 --> 00:03:15,172
-and, you know...
-(LOUD BEEP)
88
00:03:15,255 --> 00:03:16,631
MIA: What's the name?
89
00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:18,255
Oh, now she's interested
in babies.
90
00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:21,839
No name as yet.
Current alias, AKA Space Baby.
91
00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,130
-A beautiful...
-Baby boy! (CHUCKLES)
92
00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:24,798
-little baby b--
-Baby boy!
93
00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:26,255
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CROWD CHEERS)
94
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,005
I did it again! You know
what it was?
95
00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:30,339
'Cause you said "little," so--
96
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:31,964
and I just went straight
to "baby boy,"
97
00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:33,881
so I got there first,
otherwise we would've--
98
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,547
Is that it?
Or is it your Karen Mouth
99
00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:36,881
-that you can't shut?
-(LOUD BEEP)
100
00:03:36,964 --> 00:03:40,130
What is that?
Why is the ship beeping?
101
00:03:40,214 --> 00:03:43,339
You know-- and this has
never happened before--
102
00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:45,297
I don't actually know.
103
00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:46,464
MAN 1: What does he look like?
104
00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,339
-Oh, he is adora--
-Adora--
105
00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:51,506
What is your damage?
106
00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:53,798
-We need to sort this--
-Yeah, Captain, I'm on it.
107
00:03:55,089 --> 00:03:56,130
(LOUD BEEP)
108
00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:57,589
Presumably, it's a warning
of some kind.
109
00:03:57,673 --> 00:03:59,714
Well, yes, you don't usually
have a recurring beep
110
00:03:59,798 --> 00:04:01,464
to tell you
everything's going just fine.
111
00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:05,631
-(LOUD BEEP)
-RYAN: It's down here.
112
00:04:06,339 --> 00:04:07,547
Some-- It's somewhere...
113
00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:08,673
(LOUD BEEP)
114
00:04:09,798 --> 00:04:11,798
-(LOUD BEEP)
-RYAN: No, it's... it's...
115
00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:13,589
(LOUD BEEP)
116
00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:15,047
RYAN: No, it's not up here.
117
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,506
Man, they really love
that baby, huh?
118
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,714
Yeah, babies are like
New Zealanders.
119
00:04:19,798 --> 00:04:22,589
Everyone loves them
and the funny way they talk.
120
00:04:22,673 --> 00:04:25,214
-Oh, there's Iris.
-See that? See that?
121
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,422
She never looks at me like that.
122
00:04:27,506 --> 00:04:29,547
She never gives me that look.
123
00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:31,673
(SUCKS TEETH) Funny.
124
00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:33,964
-Are you hurting?
-Hmm?
125
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:36,673
Is that baby hurting you?
126
00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:40,464
MATT: Yeah?
127
00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:45,964
(SIGHS) Face it.
They prefer that baby to me.
128
00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:48,714
Baby gives them hope.
129
00:04:48,798 --> 00:04:52,255
All I give them
is shitty-yuck-yuck.
130
00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:55,297
(SIGHS) Not that
it's a competition.
131
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:56,964
Judd versus Baby.
132
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,964
But if it were,
I'd destroy that baby.
133
00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,631
Physically, emotionally,
endurance-wise.
134
00:05:02,714 --> 00:05:03,798
I'd finish that baby
135
00:05:03,881 --> 00:05:06,255
before he could get past
the first month.
136
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,798
It wouldn't even be
a fair contest.
137
00:05:07,881 --> 00:05:10,089
One shot to the soft spot,
that baby's down for the count.
138
00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:12,381
Yeah, it wouldn't have
the upper body strength.
139
00:05:12,923 --> 00:05:14,214
(LOUD BEEP)
140
00:05:14,297 --> 00:05:18,214
Captain? Captain.
Uh, the ship is beeping.
141
00:05:18,297 --> 00:05:21,089
And I can tell you why.
I'm going to cover my mouth...
142
00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,839
(MUFFLED) because this
could cause mass distress.
143
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,422
It's an oxygen beep.
Uh, we've got a leak.
144
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,547
-Well-- I mean, that--
-Billie? Billie?
145
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,756
I don't know
what else it could be,
146
00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,464
and maybe he's right?
147
00:05:35,547 --> 00:05:37,381
-I-- I-- I just--
-We need oxygen!
148
00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:38,798
-I love oxygen!
-Captain, your mouth.
149
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,464
-Cover your fucking mouth.
-RYAN: Billie?
150
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:42,506
Well, hopefully it's just one--
151
00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:43,631
Hopefully, it's just
152
00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:45,089
-one leaking tank...
-RYAN: Okay.
153
00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:47,798
BILLIE: ...but if the recycling
system's screwed, then...
154
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,881
so are we.
155
00:05:48,964 --> 00:05:51,631
The running out of air,
is it as bad as they say?
156
00:05:51,714 --> 00:05:53,297
-Or not as bad?
-Yeah, it's bad.
157
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:55,756
I mean, like, first you get,
like, a grittiness in your eyes,
158
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,130
then your tongue is literally
gonna boil in your mouth
159
00:05:58,214 --> 00:06:01,005
before you just pass out and you
just never wake up again.
160
00:06:01,089 --> 00:06:03,005
SPIKE MARTIN:
Don't forget the organ failure.
161
00:06:03,089 --> 00:06:05,464
Oh, I almost forgot
the organ failure.
162
00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:08,422
(SIGHS) I've just seen
my perfect Space Baby.
163
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:09,964
Iris,
you should prepare to enjoy
164
00:06:10,047 --> 00:06:11,255
your last moments of happiness,
165
00:06:11,339 --> 00:06:14,214
because we think
we may have an oxygen leak.
166
00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:15,547
-An oxygen leak?
-ALL: Shh!
167
00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:17,381
BILLIE: Freak out into your hand
and cover your mouth.
168
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,255
-Do we have enough to get home?
-SPIKE: It depends.
169
00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:22,631
Vigorous activity would
drain this turkey in no time.
170
00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:25,005
I'm talking exercise, singing,
171
00:06:25,089 --> 00:06:27,130
lovemaking,
if you're doing it right.
172
00:06:27,214 --> 00:06:28,214
Ugh.
173
00:06:28,297 --> 00:06:29,839
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hey! Hi there. Howdy.
174
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,464
You keep greeting people
in triplicate,
175
00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:33,506
we'll be dead by Tuesday.
176
00:06:33,589 --> 00:06:34,714
-Karen.
-KAREN: Hey.
177
00:06:34,798 --> 00:06:35,881
Why do you all look
so jumpy?
178
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:40,047
We... have a leak.
We're running out of oxygen.
179
00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:42,214
-A leak?!
-(STIFLED MUTTERS)
180
00:06:42,297 --> 00:06:44,547
What is this ship made of,
tin foil?
181
00:06:44,631 --> 00:06:46,172
-(SPIKE CHUCKLES)
-(LOUD BEEP)
182
00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:47,130
Hi, girl.
183
00:06:47,214 --> 00:06:48,714
I don't actually think
this is about
184
00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:50,547
that non-combat-ready baby.
185
00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:51,756
I think it's about
186
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,923
what your inner voice
is telling you about yourself.
187
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:57,214
-What is it saying?
-The one I'm using now?
188
00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:58,714
No, the voice inside your head.
189
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:02,047
Oh, no, my thoughts connect
instantaneously with my mouth.
190
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,422
It's extremely efficient.
191
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,464
Clinically,
it's probably very unique.
192
00:07:06,255 --> 00:07:08,381
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(GRUNTS) Iris!
193
00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:10,673
MATT: Okay, how about this?
194
00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:12,130
(SIGHS)
195
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,631
You need to change
the way they see you.
196
00:07:13,714 --> 00:07:16,130
You need to change the way
they see the shit.
197
00:07:16,214 --> 00:07:18,255
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
198
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,339
Wait...
199
00:07:21,089 --> 00:07:22,297
Are-- Are you...
200
00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:25,464
Are you talking about...
201
00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:26,631
lasers?
202
00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:31,589
Specifically...
203
00:07:31,673 --> 00:07:36,339
illuminating the ring
of nasty shit
204
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:40,297
around the ship
with some goddamn lasers?
205
00:07:41,297 --> 00:07:42,881
-(LOUD BEEP)
-JUDD: Iris!
206
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,297
-Miss Mulcair? (CLEARS THROAT)
-Hi.
207
00:07:47,381 --> 00:07:49,464
The President thanks you
for your visit,
208
00:07:49,547 --> 00:07:52,381
and I can confirm
we will be funding the rescue.
209
00:07:52,464 --> 00:07:53,964
(GASPS) Oh, knock me sideways!
210
00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:57,297
That is like diving into
a bath of beans!
211
00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,798
Well, once you clear it
with the Other President,
212
00:07:59,881 --> 00:08:00,839
you are good to go!
213
00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:03,381
I'm sorry?
The Other President?
214
00:08:03,464 --> 00:08:06,172
I assumed the Other President
was already across this.
215
00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:08,047
We don't like to bother
the Other President
216
00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:09,589
unless
it's absolutely necessary.
217
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,339
-No?
-So, if you could just slip on
218
00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:13,047
these electrostatic
shoe covers...
219
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,964
-Right, okay, right.
-If we could just get a move on.
220
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:19,881
Okay. Let's go and...
(CHUCKLES) ...do this!
221
00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:25,172
♪ (SOMBER STRING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
222
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:28,756
(LOUD BEEP)
223
00:08:31,881 --> 00:08:32,923
(LOUD BEEP)
224
00:08:33,964 --> 00:08:35,297
(SIGHS)
225
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:38,130
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(SIGHS)
226
00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:41,255
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(SCREAMS)
227
00:08:44,756 --> 00:08:46,756
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(HEAVY SIGH)
228
00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,089
(LOUD BEEP)
229
00:08:56,547 --> 00:08:59,714
JUDD: Good morning and so forth.
Mm-hmm.
230
00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:02,172
-Oh, Mr. Judd--
-JUDD: Great.
231
00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:05,381
Shall we begin this meeting
forthwith heretofore, please?
232
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,089
All right, so, uh, welcome
233
00:09:10,172 --> 00:09:14,881
to this first passenger-crew
liaison meeting.
234
00:09:14,964 --> 00:09:16,839
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(RYAN CHOKES)
235
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,047
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Fucking hands!
236
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,923
All you had to do
was hold the cup!
237
00:09:21,005 --> 00:09:23,381
-Fumbling bitches...
-MIA: Is he British?
238
00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:25,047
-No, he's doing a voice.
-Oh, okay.
239
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:27,047
You know it's coming,
then you forget it's coming,
240
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,631
-and it just--
-JUDD: Set a reminder, uh,
241
00:09:28,714 --> 00:09:30,047
pre-beep to remind me
of the big beep.
242
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,881
-You got it, baby.
-Already on it, thank you, Matt.
243
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:34,381
KAREN: All right, so,
I think it would be fitting
244
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:37,673
-to start with an apology.
-JUDD: I accept.
245
00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:40,047
From you to me,
you big S-gibbon,
246
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:43,214
because you tried to fire
my husband out the ship!
247
00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:45,047
Mm-mm. I never say sorry.
248
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,881
Like my hero, Gandhi.
249
00:09:46,964 --> 00:09:49,714
All right. Agenda, shall we?
250
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,255
I have a question.
251
00:09:51,339 --> 00:09:54,756
I would like a new cabin
away from my broken prophylactic
252
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:55,964
-of a husband.
-Will you--
253
00:09:56,047 --> 00:09:58,631
All due respect, normo,
we have bigger fish to fry.
254
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,756
Second that.
And we can't afford the air.
255
00:10:00,839 --> 00:10:02,130
-Right.
-MIA: Wait, why not?
256
00:10:02,214 --> 00:10:03,464
-(SNAPS)
-(LOUD BEEP)
257
00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,381
-(LAUGHS)
-What do you mean,
you can't afford the air?
258
00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:07,923
-Iris, did you--
did you just laugh?
-You're delirious.
259
00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,923
JUDD: All right, so,
I have figured out a way
260
00:10:11,005 --> 00:10:14,047
to re-perceive the turd sleeve
around this ship.
261
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:17,130
Three words:
theatrical lighting rig.
262
00:10:17,214 --> 00:10:20,756
And here's five:
what, what, and why?
263
00:10:20,839 --> 00:10:22,673
Uh...
No, that's four.
264
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,756
Fuck, I'm so tired.
Jesus.
265
00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:25,756
I'm sorry,
are we running out of air?
266
00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:27,214
-Yeah.
-MIA: Like, actual air?
267
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:28,756
Not, like, cooking air
268
00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:30,714
or, you know, like,
air conditioning--
269
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,631
In nine months,
so don't get pregnant,
270
00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:34,130
that'd be a complete
waste of time.
271
00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:37,047
Okay, I'm-- I'm calm.
I'm not gonna tell anybody.
272
00:10:37,714 --> 00:10:39,464
Good. All right.
273
00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:41,881
-So, can we just focus--
-I thought I was calm,
274
00:10:41,964 --> 00:10:44,130
but I am not fucking calm.
I don't wanna die!
275
00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,172
I don't wanna run out of air!
276
00:10:46,255 --> 00:10:47,506
-Thank you.
-(LOUD BEEP)
277
00:10:55,339 --> 00:10:58,673
-Hey, Secretary of State.
-Hi, Judd Galaxy.
278
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:01,506
I like your nails.
279
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,756
-Thank you.
-You got any wax?
280
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,339
-This string's dried out.
-What, crossbow wax?
281
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:10,881
Ooh, let me have a look.
No, sorry.
282
00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:12,547
-(BEEP)
-Oh, it's me.
283
00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:17,464
(WHISPERS) Okay. Do I just...?
284
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,964
THE OTHER PRESIDENT:
(ROBOTIC MALE VOICE)
Miss Mulcair, please clearly
285
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,339
and audibly
state your business.
286
00:11:21,422 --> 00:11:25,089
Right, hello. Uh, I am here
on behalf of Judd Galaxy.
287
00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:28,172
We urgently need rescue funds.
288
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,339
Four point two three
trillion dollars.
289
00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:35,255
I believe written materials
have been submitted directly...
290
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,047
into you?
291
00:11:38,589 --> 00:11:40,714
THE OTHER PRESIDENT: We will
redirect funds from the...
292
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,547
(FEMALE VOICE)
...National Child Welfare...
293
00:11:42,631 --> 00:11:43,589
(MALE VOICE) ...program.
294
00:11:43,673 --> 00:11:47,381
Oh. Oh, my God.
This-- This is...
295
00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:50,047
(LAUGHS) ...everything!
296
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:51,714
Thank you so much!
297
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:54,130
I have been
in such a dark place.
298
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,798
Can I-- No? No? (CHUCKLES)
299
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,381
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
300
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,381
THE OTHER PRESIDENT: Please,
will you consider the removal
301
00:11:59,464 --> 00:12:01,297
of 500 non-essential
passengers?
302
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,631
Right.
303
00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:08,464
I absolutely hear...
what you're saying.
304
00:12:08,547 --> 00:12:11,798
It's just that that would raise
one or two
305
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:14,005
-ethical questions--
-Thank you!
306
00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:16,339
Your query has been forwarded
to the...
307
00:12:16,422 --> 00:12:17,714
(DEEP MALE VOICE)
...Department of Ethics.
308
00:12:17,798 --> 00:12:19,798
-But, uh...
-Goodbye. Have a nice day.
309
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:21,881
RAV MULCAIR: No. No, no, no, no.
310
00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:24,130
KAREN: All right,
so I appreciate that some of us
311
00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:26,631
are sleep-victimized. However,
312
00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,339
bearing in mind
the scarcity of resources,
313
00:12:29,422 --> 00:12:31,547
can we try to keep lang'
at an abs' min'?
314
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:35,464
-Wh-- What are you saying?
-I am trying to conserve oxygen
315
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,839
by... 'bridging my w'rds.
316
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,756
Well, it's highly,
highly confusing.
317
00:12:39,839 --> 00:12:41,714
You see, you did not need
the second "highly,"
318
00:12:41,798 --> 00:12:43,923
-one would've s'ff'c'd.
-Would--
319
00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:45,005
-Sufficed.
-Ugh.
320
00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:46,923
-Jesus frazzling Christ!
-Oh, my God.
321
00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:49,297
Can we skip
the missing letters round?
322
00:12:49,381 --> 00:12:51,297
I've just reconsidered
your earlier point,
323
00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:53,422
re: an apology.
S'ry.
324
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,005
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(IRIS KIMURA LAUGHS)
325
00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:57,422
-Iris, you laughed!
-Fine! I'm s--
326
00:12:57,506 --> 00:12:59,339
-What's the matter with you?
-I-- I find it amusing.
327
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:02,589
(SNICKERING) I don't know why,
it just... beep!
328
00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,923
Why are you being such a baby,
Iris? Hmm?
329
00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:07,005
You like babies so much
you wanna be one?
330
00:13:07,089 --> 00:13:09,756
Question: are we really
running out of air?
331
00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:12,589
-Supplemental: what the fuck?
-JUDD: Yes!
332
00:13:12,673 --> 00:13:14,047
To your first question.
333
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,422
I don't know how to answer
your second question.
334
00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:19,130
But Matty and I
have come up with
335
00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:21,547
a series
of oxygen conservation policies.
336
00:13:21,631 --> 00:13:23,089
"Oxygen conservation policies."
337
00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:24,464
Well, that's a lungful
right there.
338
00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:26,714
Let's try to keep the energy
positive around Mr. Judd
339
00:13:26,798 --> 00:13:28,589
-while he pupates.
-While he what?
340
00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:29,839
While he pupates.
341
00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:32,297
I've gone through a period
of serious introspection
342
00:13:32,381 --> 00:13:33,422
since last night.
343
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,172
Okay, so first of--
344
00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:38,297
Oh, also, you should know,
I-- I tent now.
345
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:41,673
First up, no running.
Leads to panting.
346
00:13:41,756 --> 00:13:43,422
-Don't do it.
-Oh, secondly,
347
00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:47,255
fat people shouldn't use stairs,
and avoid any incline.
348
00:13:47,339 --> 00:13:49,839
Direct! Merciless. Yes.
349
00:13:49,923 --> 00:13:51,756
Uh, fat people should not
exert themselves.
350
00:13:51,839 --> 00:13:55,089
-By fat people, do you mean...
-Anyone over two--
351
00:13:55,172 --> 00:13:57,130
Two hundred
and fifty-seven pounds.
352
00:13:57,214 --> 00:13:59,464
-JUDD: Mm-mm.
-IRIS: Mm-hmm.
353
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,798
-JUDD: Mm-hmm?
-IRIS: Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:05,130
Okay, uh, yes,
a 257-pound cutoff.
355
00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:07,923
RYAN: So what are we going to
do? We're gonna weigh people
as they go about their--
356
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,339
-Are you really
asking questions about--
-JUDD: You know what? Everyone--
357
00:14:10,422 --> 00:14:13,172
please get outta here.
I-- I need a safe space
to create.
358
00:14:13,255 --> 00:14:16,172
Just me, Matty, and the person
whose name I ignored.
359
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,547
-Who's that?
-JUDD: You.
360
00:14:17,631 --> 00:14:18,673
Okay.
361
00:14:18,756 --> 00:14:20,839
That guy is a complete moron.
The more he talks,
362
00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:23,589
-the more in danger we all are.
-Unless we 'M' him.
363
00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:25,130
Okay, Karen,
you gotta stop saying that.
364
00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:27,297
-That is clearly not an option--
-(KAREN CLEARS THROAT)
365
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,339
Life coached by Matt?
366
00:14:29,422 --> 00:14:31,297
That's like being taught
to drive by a hen.
367
00:14:31,381 --> 00:14:33,381
We're running out of oxygen
and he's "pupating."
368
00:14:33,464 --> 00:14:34,756
He could kill us all.
369
00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:39,881
KAREN: Well, you know, Iris,
we could... sedate him.
370
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,714
Yeah, no, that could work.
That could actually work.
371
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,214
Well, we could double the dose?
372
00:14:44,297 --> 00:14:45,381
He might have a stroke,
373
00:14:45,464 --> 00:14:47,673
then you'll only be physically
wiping his ass.
374
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:51,339
Right. Where are we gonna get
sedatives and a dart gun?
375
00:14:51,422 --> 00:14:52,714
Well, Matt monitors the supply,
376
00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:55,756
and I bet he has full access
to whatev' they got down there.
377
00:14:55,839 --> 00:14:57,381
Sir, it's Rav for you.
378
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,714
We round Jupiter in three
minutes and lose comms.
379
00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:01,881
My cabin is closest,
so stride with me.
380
00:15:01,964 --> 00:15:05,297
Excuse me! Karen Kelly!
Make a hole, or I will!
381
00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:09,673
(LOUD BEEP)
382
00:15:09,756 --> 00:15:11,381
-RYAN: Gah...
-(IRIS LAUGHS)
383
00:15:11,464 --> 00:15:12,964
-(CLEARS THROAT)
-Now, honey,
384
00:15:13,047 --> 00:15:14,339
I have an update for you,
385
00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:17,464
and I don't want you
to go all flappy on me.
386
00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:18,839
FRANK KELLY: Okay...
387
00:15:18,923 --> 00:15:20,881
The ship is leaking oxygen.
388
00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:22,005
From what I understand,
389
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,506
it will be like drowning
with dirt in your mouth
390
00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:25,839
and a tractor on your chest.
391
00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:27,673
Okay.
392
00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:30,839
-That's fine.
-(DRINK POURING)
393
00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:33,464
(QUIETLY) Fuck.
394
00:15:34,297 --> 00:15:37,047
(SOBBING)
395
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,881
Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's only oxygen.
396
00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:41,172
KAREN: All right.
397
00:15:41,255 --> 00:15:42,339
So don't talk,
398
00:15:42,422 --> 00:15:45,047
because then you will last
marginally longer.
399
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:45,964
Attaboy.
400
00:15:46,047 --> 00:15:47,923
Okay, guys,
I think we're on. Yeah.
401
00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:50,798
And we don't have long with her,
and it could get
a little bit glitchy.
402
00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:52,214
RAV: (THROUGH SPEAKER)
Hello-- speaking-- Hello?
403
00:15:52,297 --> 00:15:53,756
(AUDIO GLITCHING)
Great. Hi! I-- start speaking.
404
00:15:53,839 --> 00:15:55,422
I'm gonna start speaking
before-- get cut off.
405
00:15:55,506 --> 00:15:57,798
I have some good news
and some not so good news.
406
00:15:57,881 --> 00:16:01,047
The good news is...
we have funding!
407
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:03,756
Yay! Come on! (LAUGHS)
408
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,589
Wh-- What was that?
What did she--
409
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,381
-She said they had funding.
-BILLIE: Shush! Yes, yes, shush!
-The not so good news is
410
00:16:08,464 --> 00:16:11,297
the Other President suggested
we explore losing...
411
00:16:11,381 --> 00:16:14,172
(LAUGHS) ...500 NEPs,
but I rejected that,
412
00:16:14,255 --> 00:16:18,297
I said, "No, we are not killing
500 people, not today!"
413
00:16:18,381 --> 00:16:20,339
(GLITCHING) Other President
sug-- we explore
414
00:16:20,422 --> 00:16:22,631
losing 500 NEPs--
(SILENCE)
415
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:25,047
BILLIE: Wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no. No, no, no! No!
416
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:27,923
-No, now Earth is
the other side of Jupiter.
-(RYAN SIGHS)
417
00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:30,839
-What's NEPs?
-Non-essential personnel, like--
418
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,673
-Mm-- Mm-mm.
-RYAN: Okay.
That is not on the table.
419
00:16:33,756 --> 00:16:37,589
We are not getting rid of
500 non-essential personnel.
420
00:16:37,673 --> 00:16:38,964
My hands always get clammy
421
00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:40,923
whenever I shower
in a strange room.
422
00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:42,130
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Fuck you, Doug!
423
00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:44,798
-RYAN: How are you here?
-Yeah, what the actual frig?
424
00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:47,214
Are you wearing Frank's clothes?
425
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,547
-Two sugars?
-Yeah.
426
00:16:48,631 --> 00:16:51,339
DOUG: I have just been ordered
homeless by Herman Judd,
427
00:16:51,422 --> 00:16:53,297
so I no longer have access
to a bathroom.
428
00:16:53,381 --> 00:16:55,214
Oh, great. You see this, Frank?
429
00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:57,172
He's using you
as a toilet friend.
430
00:16:57,255 --> 00:16:58,589
DOUG: Are you guys
seriously considering
431
00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:00,339
getting rid of 500 passengers?
432
00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:03,089
No, and you are not gonna say it
out there. All right?
433
00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,631
And you're particularly
not gonna say it
434
00:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,297
-in front of Herman Judd.
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(IRIS LAUGHS)
435
00:17:06,381 --> 00:17:09,089
-RYAN: Oh, you-- monotonal fuck!
-Fuck you, Doug!
436
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:16,756
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Good morning, everyone!
437
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:18,798
We finally have a baby name.
438
00:17:19,381 --> 00:17:20,422
Kayden!
439
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,005
-Kayden?
-That's an asshole name!
440
00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:28,339
Okay, it's just a word.
441
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,297
IRIS:
And you're an asshole, asshole.
442
00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:33,547
-Oh, you.
-Doug.
443
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,297
You look different.
Fatter, maybe?
444
00:17:35,381 --> 00:17:37,547
No, it's probably just
my spirit swelling
445
00:17:37,631 --> 00:17:40,464
-now that I'm not with you.
-(CHUCKLES)
446
00:17:40,547 --> 00:17:43,047
-Hey, you're hiding something.
-I don't know
what you're talking about.
447
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,214
I know that, Doug,
that's your factory setting.
448
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:47,506
Actually, I-- I have been
made privy to something.
449
00:17:47,589 --> 00:17:49,047
Okay, so you know about
450
00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:50,798
-the oxygen.
-The passengers.
451
00:17:50,881 --> 00:17:52,214
-Oxygen?
-The shortage.
452
00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:53,714
-There's a shortage of air?
-Yes!
453
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,464
-Holy fuck! Are you kid--
-Okay, okay--
454
00:17:55,547 --> 00:17:56,923
-Oh, my God, are you serious?
-Stop panicking.
455
00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:59,005
This is when one panics!
We are running out of air
456
00:17:59,089 --> 00:18:01,339
and they're shooting 500
passengers out of the airlock.
457
00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:02,381
-What?
-Yes!
458
00:18:02,464 --> 00:18:04,089
The airlock? Oh, my God!
Oh, my fucking God!
459
00:18:04,172 --> 00:18:05,381
-That's horrible.
-This is panicking!
460
00:18:05,464 --> 00:18:07,047
-Why can you panic and I can't--
-I'm not panicking!
461
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:09,631
-Yeah, neither was I!
-Then stop and lower your voice!
462
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,881
Fine.
463
00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:14,589
Also, the captain is speaking
in that British voice--
464
00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:17,381
-Yeah, I heard that.
-All right, listen, fucker,
465
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,089
if they start suggesting names
of passengers,
466
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,631
let's not suggest each other,
all right?
467
00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:23,214
-That's actually a really good--
-Okay, fine.
468
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:24,422
-Good plan.
-All right.
469
00:18:24,506 --> 00:18:25,756
(SCOFFS) Put your hard-on away.
470
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,547
This is purely
self-preservation.
471
00:18:27,631 --> 00:18:28,923
Yeah, I think the same thing.
472
00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:29,923
-Great.
-All right, see you l--
473
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:31,255
-See you around.
-Okay. See you never.
474
00:18:31,339 --> 00:18:32,756
-Come on.
-(LOUD BEEP)
475
00:18:32,839 --> 00:18:34,881
-Fuck you!
-No, fuck you, Doug!
476
00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:37,673
Do you wanna--
477
00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:42,005
Okay, Matt, uh... (SIGHS)
478
00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:46,464
(LOUD BEEP)
479
00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:48,214
Uh, I-- I, um...
480
00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:50,255
-I need you to hook me up.
-MATT: What do you need?
481
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,172
Synthetic veal?
Porno? Mint jelly?
482
00:18:52,255 --> 00:18:53,714
All of them, if you can.
483
00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:56,130
-(CHUCKLES) Jesus!
-But first, I-- I, uh...
484
00:18:56,214 --> 00:19:00,589
I actually want lots and lots
and lots of sedatives.
485
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,964
Look, my area of expertise
is pretty limited.
486
00:19:04,047 --> 00:19:06,589
It's basically recreational
barbiturates,
487
00:19:06,673 --> 00:19:09,839
Eastern sex practices,
Christmas music.
488
00:19:09,923 --> 00:19:13,756
But I do know suffering,
and you're suffering.
489
00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:16,631
So I just need a little bit more
information to make sure
490
00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:19,756
I'm not causing more harm
than I'm fixing.
491
00:19:21,506 --> 00:19:23,589
-I was bullied at school.
-Was it your ears?
492
00:19:23,673 --> 00:19:24,923
What? No. What do you mean?
493
00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:26,214
-What's wrong with my ears?
-Nothing.
494
00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:28,923
But that is what I would
go in on, if I was bullying you.
495
00:19:29,005 --> 00:19:30,130
I'd make you self-conscious
496
00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:31,631
about something
that isn't even a thing
497
00:19:31,714 --> 00:19:33,714
because it makes you
question your sanity.
498
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,923
Ain't that right,
you jar-eared Dumbo fuck?
499
00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,673
-It's brutal.
-I-- Yeah-- Mm.
500
00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:42,631
You're right, I hate my ears.
Yeah.
501
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:43,923
-Sedatives?
-I mean, look at you.
502
00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:45,839
You're like a gimp on a leash
right now.
503
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,673
-Mm-hmm.
-You'd do anything
for these drugs.
504
00:19:47,756 --> 00:19:49,506
-Anything.
-And if I don't give 'em to you,
505
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,381
you're probably gonna go
below decks...
506
00:19:51,464 --> 00:19:52,714
and get them from the guys
down there.
507
00:19:52,798 --> 00:19:54,673
But you're gonna have to
sexually humiliate yourself.
508
00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,172
You are so good.
You're right.
509
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:58,839
I was this close
to going down there and...
510
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:00,464
showing someone my bottom.
511
00:20:01,631 --> 00:20:03,005
(LOUD BEEP)
512
00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:04,422
(HEAVY SIGH)
513
00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:10,005
Well, I...
I got the, um, the sleeping...
514
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:12,297
-Oh.
-Yeah. Take two of these,
515
00:20:12,381 --> 00:20:14,506
it's like you've died
and gone to the opera.
516
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:15,714
BILLIE:
All right, so give me one
517
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,631
because I'm so tired
that my hair hurts me.
518
00:20:18,714 --> 00:20:21,130
(YAWNS) Oh, no.
These are for, um...
519
00:20:21,214 --> 00:20:24,297
what's the-- who's the guy
who runs Judd Industries?
520
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:25,881
-BOTH: Judd.
-RYAN: Yes.
521
00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:30,339
So, apparently, even, uh,
Space Baby can't sleep.
522
00:20:30,422 --> 00:20:31,964
Respectfully, fuck him.
523
00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:34,381
No, seriously, 'cause he's--
he's in an incubator,
524
00:20:34,464 --> 00:20:36,214
those things are soundproofed
to balls.
525
00:20:36,297 --> 00:20:39,172
I'll take the sedatives,
and I'll go Judd drug.
526
00:20:39,255 --> 00:20:42,255
No, Karen, you will kill him.
There's a difference.
527
00:20:42,339 --> 00:20:44,964
Okay, so you two
give me the, um...
528
00:20:46,673 --> 00:20:49,673
them things,
and then I'll go...
529
00:20:50,297 --> 00:20:51,297
What?
530
00:20:51,381 --> 00:20:52,714
I'll go to-- Who they for?
531
00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:54,422
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(KAREN GROANS)
532
00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:56,464
-I'll take them. I'll take--
-Oh, no, no, Billie,
Billie, no--
533
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,255
-Yeah, but I'm gonna give them--
-Billie, give them to me.
-Okay--
534
00:20:59,339 --> 00:21:00,422
Oh, look, it's the king!
535
00:21:00,506 --> 00:21:01,839
-Where?
-A-ha!
536
00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:05,005
In your face, you and--
and the other one.
537
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:07,047
Okay. Michele's an engineer,
538
00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:08,339
you tell him
exactly what you want.
539
00:21:08,422 --> 00:21:10,839
-Get as technical as you like.
-JUDD: Okay.
540
00:21:11,756 --> 00:21:12,589
Michele, huh?
541
00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,464
I don't like boys
with girls' names.
542
00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:15,673
Okay, so...
543
00:21:16,923 --> 00:21:22,339
We fire the glitter at the turds
as we turn the lasers on?
544
00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:25,339
Or... sequins.
545
00:21:25,422 --> 00:21:31,422
Maybe sequin bombs that we make
from degradable plastics,
546
00:21:31,506 --> 00:21:34,881
and then shoot them
at the turds.
547
00:21:34,964 --> 00:21:39,172
I'm thinking six
every two minutes,
548
00:21:39,255 --> 00:21:42,047
to ensure a steady shimmer.
549
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:45,464
Then glitter, then confetti,
550
00:21:45,547 --> 00:21:50,255
then, maybe, fairy lights,
if we all feel we've earned it.
551
00:21:50,339 --> 00:21:51,964
Okay, read it back to me.
552
00:21:52,047 --> 00:21:53,130
Let's make a sex tape!
553
00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:54,839
Get out of my line of sight.
554
00:21:54,923 --> 00:21:57,422
(JINGLE PINGS)
555
00:21:59,422 --> 00:22:00,714
-(EXHALES)
-MATT: Action.
556
00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:04,047
Herman Judd here,
with a brief word.
557
00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:06,714
Indeed, all of our words
must now be brief.
558
00:22:06,798 --> 00:22:09,422
That is because we're
running out of breathable air.
559
00:22:09,506 --> 00:22:11,130
(ALL GASP)
560
00:22:11,214 --> 00:22:13,923
I had intended to ease
into that one.
561
00:22:14,005 --> 00:22:17,506
We will plug this leak.
But until we do,
562
00:22:17,589 --> 00:22:19,964
you must remain
breathing steadily
563
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,839
to minimize all oxygen usage.
564
00:22:22,923 --> 00:22:26,631
And cut out all
unnecessary conversation.
565
00:22:26,714 --> 00:22:29,005
No sighing, no gasping,
566
00:22:29,089 --> 00:22:32,297
no unnecessary sneezing,
no flouncing.
567
00:22:32,381 --> 00:22:34,714
If you have to be
passive aggressive,
568
00:22:34,798 --> 00:22:36,547
do it only with your eyes.
569
00:22:37,964 --> 00:22:39,172
Relax.
570
00:22:39,255 --> 00:22:40,631
-(LOUD BEEP)
-JUDD: Iris!
571
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,964
No, no, no, wait.
This is recorded. That's...
572
00:22:43,047 --> 00:22:44,130
that's not the actual beep.
573
00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:46,839
-JUDD: But do remain
breathing calmly.
574
00:22:46,923 --> 00:22:49,506
-(LOUD BEEP)
-That's the actual beep.
575
00:22:49,589 --> 00:22:52,589
That is now a legal requirement.
576
00:22:53,631 --> 00:22:54,714
Thanks, gang.
577
00:22:57,506 --> 00:22:59,130
(QUIETLY)
Okay, I'm gonna tell a joke now.
578
00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:01,756
The setup is that
there are three men
579
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,089
of three different
nationalities.
580
00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:05,422
I won't tell you
which nationalities,
581
00:23:05,506 --> 00:23:07,214
'cause otherwise
you might find it amusing.
582
00:23:07,297 --> 00:23:09,339
The punchline is that
one of the men in the joke
583
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:10,798
is considerably
more parsimonious
584
00:23:10,881 --> 00:23:13,172
than the other two men
in the joke.
585
00:23:13,255 --> 00:23:14,756
Thus concludes the joke.
586
00:23:15,547 --> 00:23:17,130
That was not funny.
587
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,964
Here it comes.
588
00:23:20,923 --> 00:23:22,339
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(CHUCKLES)
589
00:23:22,839 --> 00:23:24,089
JUDD: Iris!
590
00:23:25,673 --> 00:23:27,506
(WHISPERING) As I walk up,
there's these cars
591
00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:29,255
falling out of the bed.
It was just--
592
00:23:29,339 --> 00:23:31,464
What is the nature
of this conversation?
593
00:23:31,547 --> 00:23:33,881
Uh, I'm just talking about
my grandchildren.
594
00:23:33,964 --> 00:23:35,881
Would you classify it
as essential?
595
00:23:35,964 --> 00:23:37,506
News flash: it isn't.
596
00:23:39,214 --> 00:23:41,589
Okay, now I'm gonna do
some oxygen-efficient banter
597
00:23:41,673 --> 00:23:42,756
with the audience.
598
00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:44,839
-Ma'am, where are you from?
-Utah.
599
00:23:46,839 --> 00:23:47,756
That's nice.
600
00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:49,839
(WHISPERING)
You are banal as shit.
601
00:23:52,673 --> 00:23:53,673
(LOUD BEEP)
602
00:23:55,381 --> 00:23:57,464
-♪ (SAXOPHONE PLAYING) ♪
-(LOUD BEEP)
603
00:23:57,547 --> 00:23:59,464
I hear ya, honey.
604
00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:01,964
-♪ (SAXOPHONE RESUMES) ♪
-Shoehorns are weird,
aren't they?
605
00:24:02,964 --> 00:24:05,381
Thus concludes
the shoehorns section.
606
00:24:05,964 --> 00:24:07,005
Thank you.
607
00:24:10,381 --> 00:24:11,714
(LOUD BEEP)
608
00:24:15,381 --> 00:24:16,422
(WHISPERING)
I thought I'd set up--
609
00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:18,047
(WHISPERING)
I can't-- I can't. I'm sorry.
610
00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:21,714
I said, I thought I'd set up
in a space
611
00:24:21,798 --> 00:24:23,589
where everyone feels welcome.
612
00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:25,506
In God's office?
613
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:28,005
Jesus, Vishnu, Allah,
Karen Kelly.
614
00:24:28,089 --> 00:24:31,214
(CHUCKLES) I think I have
a ways to go just yet.
615
00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:32,339
-RYAN: Sedatives.
-KAREN: Oh--
616
00:24:32,422 --> 00:24:33,798
JUDD: (WHISPERING)
Ryan!
617
00:24:33,881 --> 00:24:37,297
Get ready to have your butt
and/or ball blown off.
618
00:24:37,381 --> 00:24:40,381
(WHISPERING) Mr. Judd is about
to perform his first miracle.
619
00:24:40,464 --> 00:24:43,589
We're gonna sparklify
the Halo of Crud.
620
00:24:43,673 --> 00:24:44,923
(LOUD BEEP)
621
00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:47,464
IRIS: (WHISPERING LOUDLY)
I have an update.
622
00:24:47,547 --> 00:24:51,130
Space Baby has jaundice.
He's on a respirator.
623
00:24:51,214 --> 00:24:53,964
Jaundice?
Somebody's got a weak liver.
624
00:24:54,047 --> 00:24:55,172
-Is he okay?
-IRIS: He's fine,
625
00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:57,255
just laying there
with his oxygen mask.
626
00:24:57,339 --> 00:24:58,464
Greedy little fuck.
627
00:24:58,547 --> 00:25:01,214
Yeah! There's my girl.
Welcome back. Missed you, girl.
628
00:25:01,297 --> 00:25:04,089
(LOUDLY) Yeah, fuck Space Baby,
stealing all our oxygen.
629
00:25:04,172 --> 00:25:06,047
(WHISPERING) Who's stealing
the oxygen? What's going on?
630
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,464
WOMAN 1: We just heard the news.
631
00:25:07,547 --> 00:25:08,798
Oh, shit. They told you?
632
00:25:08,881 --> 00:25:10,673
About the 500 NEPs
they're shooting into space?
633
00:25:10,756 --> 00:25:12,339
-What? Doug, what are you doing?
-(CROWD CLAMORS)
634
00:25:12,422 --> 00:25:14,005
-You're such an idiot.
-I'm whispering so we're--
635
00:25:14,089 --> 00:25:16,005
-(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
-Shh, shh, shh--
636
00:25:16,089 --> 00:25:17,798
(SHOUTS IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Quiet!
637
00:25:17,881 --> 00:25:19,923
You... chattering...
638
00:25:20,464 --> 00:25:21,839
fucks!
639
00:25:21,923 --> 00:25:22,881
(SOFTLY)
Can you hear me?
640
00:25:22,964 --> 00:25:24,089
-Yes.
-I can.
641
00:25:24,172 --> 00:25:26,172
-What about now?
-Yes. It was the same.
642
00:25:26,255 --> 00:25:27,255
(WHISPERS) What about now?
643
00:25:27,339 --> 00:25:28,297
-Too low.
-Too low.
644
00:25:28,381 --> 00:25:29,422
Okay, I'll go up.
645
00:25:29,506 --> 00:25:31,130
-(FRANK SNEEZES)
-RYAN: Bless you.
646
00:25:31,214 --> 00:25:32,798
-(SNEEZES)
-DOUG: Oxygen--
647
00:25:32,881 --> 00:25:34,005
-(COUGHS)
-MAN 2: Fuck!
648
00:25:34,089 --> 00:25:35,255
Shut up, Frank!
649
00:25:36,839 --> 00:25:38,005
-Now that you have--
-(SNEEZES)
650
00:25:38,089 --> 00:25:39,964
-DOUG: Guys. Please. Guys.
-Oh, my God.
651
00:25:40,047 --> 00:25:41,589
DOUG: That's like a full tank.
652
00:25:43,714 --> 00:25:46,339
You have to think
before you speak.
653
00:25:46,422 --> 00:25:47,798
And then, think again.
654
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,255
And then think,
"I shouldn't speak."
655
00:25:50,339 --> 00:25:52,673
And then, don't speak.
656
00:25:53,631 --> 00:25:54,798
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Iris!
657
00:25:54,881 --> 00:25:56,047
-Fuck you, Doug!
-Hey, you.
658
00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:57,381
What are NEPs?
659
00:25:57,464 --> 00:25:59,214
They're non-essential personnel.
660
00:25:59,297 --> 00:26:00,589
-MAN 3: What?!
-I--
661
00:26:01,673 --> 00:26:04,089
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Iris, will you shut the fuck up?
662
00:26:04,172 --> 00:26:07,089
Is it true? You're just gonna
kill 500 passengers?
663
00:26:07,172 --> 00:26:08,964
Why wasn't I notified?
664
00:26:09,798 --> 00:26:11,339
Was I notified?
665
00:26:11,422 --> 00:26:12,631
When was I notified?
666
00:26:12,714 --> 00:26:15,631
Who are you to determine
who is essential?
667
00:26:15,714 --> 00:26:19,172
I can't go. I'm the only
radiologist in outer space.
668
00:26:19,255 --> 00:26:20,881
Darrell, I'm standing
right here!
669
00:26:20,964 --> 00:26:23,756
We've been colleagues for years!
670
00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:25,839
(WHISPERING)
It's not an oxygen beep.
671
00:26:25,923 --> 00:26:28,214
(LAUGHING)
It's not an oxygen beep!
672
00:26:28,297 --> 00:26:30,881
I checked all the tanks,
and the beeping
673
00:26:31,005 --> 00:26:34,381
is the ship telling us
to recalibrate for the baby.
674
00:26:34,464 --> 00:26:36,589
-(KAREN GASPS)
-There's an extra passenger.
675
00:26:36,673 --> 00:26:38,089
It needs to recalibrate.
676
00:26:38,172 --> 00:26:39,089
There's no oxygen--
677
00:26:39,172 --> 00:26:40,381
SPIKE: That would be
the other reason.
678
00:26:40,464 --> 00:26:41,839
-MAN 4: Oh, my--
-What, you-- you didn't
679
00:26:41,923 --> 00:26:44,172
-rule that out already, huh?
-Shut up, Spike.
680
00:26:44,255 --> 00:26:46,214
BILLIE: There is air.
There is enough air
681
00:26:46,297 --> 00:26:49,381
for maybe some of you
to thank me. I'm Billie.
682
00:26:49,464 --> 00:26:50,547
(LOUDLY) We have air?
683
00:26:50,631 --> 00:26:52,756
-Yeah, we have air.
-So we can shout?
684
00:26:52,839 --> 00:26:54,339
If you want to, I guess, yes.
685
00:26:54,422 --> 00:26:55,923
(SHOUTING)
You guys were trying to kill us!
686
00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:57,506
Yeah, you had a list going!
Guess what?
687
00:26:57,589 --> 00:26:59,089
Now we're gonna make
a fucking list!
688
00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:01,339
-And you all...
-I don't even care about names,
689
00:27:01,422 --> 00:27:02,547
I just want blood.
690
00:27:02,631 --> 00:27:04,756
And... light 'em up!
691
00:27:04,839 --> 00:27:06,589
-♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(ALL GASP)
692
00:27:06,673 --> 00:27:08,923
-MAN 5: Oh, my...
-WOMAN 2: Oh!
693
00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:10,464
RYAN: Wow.
694
00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:12,547
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
695
00:27:14,047 --> 00:27:15,339
BILLIE: It is beautiful.
696
00:27:16,464 --> 00:27:18,297
Until you really think about it.
697
00:27:18,381 --> 00:27:21,130
Who knew shit
could be so enchanting?
698
00:27:21,214 --> 00:27:23,923
Me. I did. I knew.
699
00:27:24,005 --> 00:27:28,339
He's transformed the most
disgusting thing imaginable
700
00:27:28,422 --> 00:27:32,339
into a kaleidoscope
of butt truffles!
701
00:27:32,422 --> 00:27:35,714
Well, you gotta say,
he knows his audience.
702
00:27:35,798 --> 00:27:38,714
So... he lives.
For tonight.
703
00:27:38,798 --> 00:27:40,172
RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT)
Okay, it's over.
704
00:27:40,255 --> 00:27:41,506
The nightmare is over.
705
00:27:41,589 --> 00:27:44,339
This-- this part
of the nightmare is over.
706
00:27:44,422 --> 00:27:47,297
(DOUG AND MIA ARGUING)
707
00:27:47,381 --> 00:27:49,172
MATT: Congratulations.
708
00:27:49,255 --> 00:27:51,631
Why don't you give yourself
a little pat on the back,
709
00:27:51,714 --> 00:27:53,214
or the ass?
710
00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:56,339
Give your ass a little squeeze,
and then...
711
00:27:56,422 --> 00:27:59,005
go make love to yourself
in a sleazy motel.
712
00:27:59,089 --> 00:28:00,089
(GRUNTS)
713
00:28:00,923 --> 00:28:02,005
You earned it.
714
00:28:02,089 --> 00:28:03,339
You're really fucking weird,
dude.
715
00:28:03,422 --> 00:28:04,964
I don't wanna
do these hangouts anymore.
716
00:28:05,047 --> 00:28:06,506
They make me kinda sick.
717
00:28:06,589 --> 00:28:08,756
-That's okay.
-JUDD: No, it isn't.
718
00:28:11,881 --> 00:28:13,923
-(IRIS SIGHS)
-(JUDD GRUNTS)
719
00:28:16,589 --> 00:28:19,214
Your ears are beautiful.
720
00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:21,089
To me.
721
00:28:23,214 --> 00:28:25,923
It's the most plausible
he's looked in weeks.
722
00:28:32,839 --> 00:28:34,923
I'm gonna miss talking to ya,
sweetie.
723
00:28:43,047 --> 00:28:46,130
-(SNORING)
-♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
51311
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