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In the summer of 1927, at 11.30, N-W from the village Chmarovki

in Stargorod entered the young man. - Uncle, give me 10 kopeks, huh?

Uncle, give me 10 kopecks, I tell you.

Do you want also the key to the apartment, where the money is?

Nope...

The young man lied. He had no money, no keys, no flats.

He did not have anything. His name was Ostap Bender.

Why? Who are you?

I do something wrong?

- You perfectly know. - So maybe let's go to the store?

Tam and explained. - Explain in another place.

Allow light.

And that, my father, in your city suitors required? Brides do you have?

- To the bride and the mare. - And in this house of the bride is?

- We got the state poorhouse. Old women live. At the full board.

It is yet to historic materialism born?

- Dad, good to drink a little drink? - Treated. - Please.

- So I do you spend the night? - Though all my life to live, once a good man.

- And what is under the old regime was? - The master lived. Vorobyaninov Dough.

- Bourgeois? - You're bourgeois. The leader of the nobility.

- Proletariat mean? - You're a proletarian. Tell you: the marshal.

The police chief gave him the honor.

Come to him, say, on New Year's congratulations, gives three rubles.

At Easter, we set, I will say - Another three rubles.

Medal promised me a present.

So to say: you, Tikhon, consider yourself already with a medal.

Do not have time.

- What now for the concierge service Medal given? - Give.

Coming!

Sir! From Paris!

Hello, Tikhon. Not at all I'm not from Paris. What is it you got it in my head?

We though not Paris, but welcome to our hut!

- Yes, not from Paris, I! - Excellent. You come from Kologrivov,

visit his grandmother.

- My name is Bender. Maybe you heard? - No, not heard.

Well, yes, where in Paris can be know the name

Ostap Suleyman-Berta-Maria-Benderbeya. - Berthe-Marie ... Nonsense kind.

I did not come from Paris. - Wonderful, wonderful. From Morshansk.

Heat is now in Paris? - You know, I'm better.

You have nowhere to hurry. GPU itself will come to you.

- I can not understand. - And now you understand. Sit down.

You crossed the border through what? Polish, Finnish, Romanian?

Honestly, I am a Soviet citizen. I can show a passport.

In the modern development of Typography make a Soviet passport - a trifle.

So true. A: There is an emigre Returning from Paris to his native city.

emigrant afraid that it will pick the GPU. - I am not an emigrant!

And who are you? Why do you come here?

- I arrived on the case! - What for?

- A personal matter! - Oh! A personal matter!

And then you say, that you are not an emigrant!

- What are themselves or will plead guilty further deny? - Good!

In the end, without an assistant is difficult, - Thought Vorobyaninov,

a crook, he seems to be great. This can be useful.

Well, I'll tell you everything.

In the town of N, where the former marshal of the nobility served in the registry office,

There were so many hairdressers and offices funeral processions, which seemed

city residents are born to it that shave, haircut and immediately die.

But rather die!

Confession. Pure soul. Courage, Vorobyaninov.

- Hippolyte! - Go, go!

I should open to you an important secret.

- Remember, our drawing-room suite in Stargorod? - I remember very well.

Sofa, a dozen chairs. - In the chair seat, I sewed diamonds.

Did they not taken away then? During the search?

- I hid the diamonds in the chair. - Your diamonds?

Why did you not give them to me? - How could I give you diamonds,

when you squandered the estate of my daughter?

Wait in the chair of diamonds for $ 70 thousand! In the chair on which nobody knows who is sitting!

Evening Bells, vesper ...

How many thoughts ... - Fyodor!

Are you done to yourself, eh?

Listen carefully. But nobody word!

I confessed Vorobyaninov wife's mother, It opened me that Stargorod,

in their home in a living room chairs its hidden jewels.

These diamonds, she bequeathed to me! - You? - I!

Coming soon will live in new and candle plant turned his head and something else.

Diamonds!

Naidu, be sure to find you!

The stones are chosen with taste. I think all of this music is worth 150 thousand.

- Is it really so much? - Not less!

- Only you spit on it all. - How to spit? - Saliva. Not work.

Your suite has long been burned in ovens.

Quiet! In case I dare.

By the way, we need to conclude dogovorchik. In the case of the treasure

I, as a technical leader, get 60 per cent.

- This is robbery in broad daylight! - And you thought how much to offer?

- At least 5 percent, 10, finally. - You want me to work for nothing,

but still gave the key to the apartment, where the money is?

In this case I have reason to believe that I was able to handle a single case.

In this case, I have no less reason to believe

that I alone can handle your case. - Fraudster!

Listen, you, Mr. Paris, did you know that your diamonds

almost in my pocket and you are me wondering only insofar

because I want to ensure Your old age.

- 20 percent. - Yes, and my grub. - 25! - And the key to the apartment!

- 30 percent! - Well, well!

Out of respect to your noble origin

I am ready to work for a measly any 40 per cent.

That's 60 thousand!

You pretty nasty man. You love money more than they should.

- And you do not love them? - No!

- And why did you then 60 thousand? - Principle.

- Well, the ice was broken? - Rogue! - What?

Things are moving, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the parade will be me!

Good morning, Marshal! There is good news:

first chair is found. - My God!

A chair is here, in your ex apartments.

Finish your morning toilet and get down to business.

I'm ready!

- Are you crazy? - What's the matter?

Admire!

My God What is it?

I was assured that this stain gives radical black. Contraband!

All contraband do in Odessa Deribasovskoy on the street.

My God What?

We repaint. Dye "Naiad"

coloring hair in a wonderful chestnut.

Impressive. Quite simply and tastefully.

But to live in such hair in the Soviet Russia is not recommended. - Why?

- You'll have to shave! - It's impossible!

- Then sit in the janitor's life, I'll go for the chairs. - Shave!

- With you for a haircut and shave 2 rubles. - Why so expensive? Everywhere charge 40 cents.

During the conspiracy, Comrade Marshal.

Nervous asked not to watch.

Head second home Starsobesa was shy thief.

His whole being protested against theft, but do not steal, he could not.

He stole and he was ashamed. He stole constantly and continuously ashamed.

Light never seen such a blue thieves, as Alexander Ya.

My heart seemed to awake in fright,

has gone through I'm sorry ...

Sopranos quieter!

- Tell me, who is the head? - What is it, comrade?

Is that song nationalities? Interesting. I am inspector of fire protection.

Well, let's watch room. - I beg you!

- In this room does not light the stoves? - No, no!

- Ovens and the like? - No, no!

- This is our bedroom. - Clearly.

- Chimneys cleaned regularly? Furnaces in order? - In perfect condition!

- Is that a new batch of old women? - It's orphans.

The legacy of the tsarist regime.

Comrade Inspector, I ask you dine with us, what God has sent.

On this day God sent for lunch Zubrovka bottle, domestic fungus,

black granular ikorki, mincemeat of herring, Ukrainian borscht,

chicken with rice, fruits and so on and so forth.

- For your utilities! - Thank you!

Why your kefir institution a meager inventory?

Even taste does not sit on anything. - Why not what?

In the red corner is the English chair, said the old atmosphere has remained.

This morning, the chair was there. Where could he go?

Sadly, girls!

In your household chairs disappear the most mysterious way.

- It's just ridiculous. - I'll look in the bedrooms.

A friend of mine, too, sold public furniture.

And me with your baseless accusations even very strange.

Well, you're a victim of abortion, to whom you sold chair?

Here Pasha, having supernatural intuition, realized

that now he would be beaten. Maybe even feet.

I did the first time in my life seen.

- First time? - Honest to God! - Yes?

Nabil I mug you, but only Zarathustra does not allow.

Go to hell!

Wait a minute!

You what? Official bribery duty.

This is article 114 of the Penal Code. Shame!

- Thieves! - Excuse me!

- Father ... - Vorobyaninov!

So this is you, holy father, to hunt for my property. Very nice.

- This is not your property! - Whose is it? - Nationalized! - Who?

- Workers' power. - And, the power of workers and peasants?

- Can you, holy father, the party? - Maybe!

Well, see? You - a swindler!

I nabyu your face, Father Fyodor! - Eat me

That evening, green and cold, decided the fate of the whole enterprise.

If we can get a warrant, on which distributed Vorobyaninov furniture,

it can be considered udavshimsya.

I would like to find anything from furniture Papa to keep the memory of him.

Do you know who was transferred furniture from papa's house?

This is a very complicated case, only wealthy man by force.

Closer to the body, says Guy de Maupassant. Details will be paid.

- 70 rubles. - I agree. Money v. warrants. When you go to?

Money for you? Then right away. Please.

- Full archive home! - It is full. Just in case.

We live like a volcano. Anything can happen.

People rush to find their own furniture and where they are, furniture? Here they are.

And who retained? Korobeinikov. That old man will say thank you gentlemen.

And I do not need much. At ten - for orderochek all.

That warrant. All the furniture of your father here.

You expressly hero of labor. You monument without hands should be put.

- You can write a receipt? - Can. Kreuth.

It may still want headsets Popova general's? Very good.

No, thank you!

I do not venture more burden you their presence.

- And the money? - What money? You asked me about some money?

- And what, for furniture, for a warrant. - Oh, dear!

I swear to honor late father, forgot to remove from the current account.

Hush you, a fighter for the idea, I tell you tomorrow, then tomorrow. Write letters.

It has never been so Korobeinikov basely deceived.

He could deceive anyone, but now goes bust in the best of your business,

from which the expected large profits and secure old age.

Magnanimously forgive, how to get a citizen Korobeinikova?

- I Korobeinikov. - I have to you the lowest request.

I have a brother Vorobyaninov Vorobyaninov, native.

The ice is breaking!

Well, orderochek on your headsets I have a brother.

One hundred rubles! And the money will ask in advance!

- Nothing, if the gold? - Nothing.

Evening Bells, an evening ...

-Ka, I lectured him a warrant for headsets general's Popova.

- Please. - All in one place? - Everything!

Citizen Bruns, Grape Street, House 34.

All were standing there, one by one. Necklace is a wonderful, gambsovsky.

- Much obliged. - Not worth it. Careful.

- For those orders I paid 70 rubles. - How much? - 70.

Concessionaires of the costs should participate on an equal footing.

The first order of 10 chairs, issued by Museum furniture craftsmanship in Moscow.

Second - 1 chair, issued by a citizen Gritsatsuyeva, the widow of a disabled

imperialist war. Stargorod Street Plekhanov, 15.

Let us widow. - Yes, yes.

I expect you in the lobby.

If pretty girls, so could fly like birds ...

Do I not bend, always used to admire them!

He was happier than all the knots ... ... vesper,

how many thoughts he suggests, bom-bom.

- Hello, sir. - Good morning, Vorobyaninov.

Not ????? I see you during our last meeting?

Well you are very pleased to be meet.

- Mass, I suppose, now are not you serving? - Where there is!

The congregation dispersed, looking for treasures. - His! Note their treasures!

I do not know whose, but are looking for.

Ah A competing company! We buy old things, God's cow.

What do you want?

I want to sell you from the dead donkey ears.

What do the old things we buy, New steal?

And the enemy is running, running, running ...

Himself a fool!

How much is the opium of the people?

Hello!

Sanitary inspection!

Dr. Michelson, Konrad Karlovich.

- Well, let's watch room. - Please, please.

I tell you that it was he, without his mustache, but he Vorobyaninov spitting.

And with him a handsome man, clearly former officer.

- Why he came, how do you think? - Do not sign a treaty with the Bolsheviks!

- He is in danger! - Who is not in danger?

Mustaches, dear, a gift not shaved off.

- He was sent from abroad. - Certainly.

- But to what end it here? - Do not be a child!

Oh, faded, oh, long ago,

chrysanthemums in the garden, and love all ...

Viktor Mikhailovich, I must see him!

- You know what you risk? - Anyway, after 10 years of separation

I can not see him. I beg you, I implore you, bring him.

Where among the pampas running bison, And sunsets over the baobabs, like blood.

Hab pirate sullen, In the wilds of the Amazon,

Hab pirate, does not believe in love.

But, when one day, after the bombardment, After the terrible battle he returned home,

The slender figure of the color of chocolate Waved from the shore hand.

Where there is love, Where there is love,

There's always bloodshed.

Like a statue of a girl stood Pirate ship your hurried forward to it

And in love with her and he called Bird on the branches of his soul.

But one night a young cowboy Slender Creole he saw on the sand

And odnoyu bullet he killed both I wandered along the shore in anguish.

And when the morning, Wailing about Creole,

He understood that in the heart passion can not be extinguished

Shot myself he To forever silenced

A bird in the branches of his soul!

My honor, I felt under is something hard. They are there.

Chair tonight to steal.

To marshal of nobility you too small scale.

This is a typical pizhonstvo - rob a poor widow.

- So in fact want to hurry. - Soon Only cats are born.

In order to dig safely in the stool I marry her.

- Marry? - What? Sultry woman. The dream of the poet.

- Good evening, Hippolyte Matveeich. - I have no honor.

- What do you want to tell my friend? - No need to worry.

I am from Helena Stanislavovna. - How is she here?

Here, and very much wants to see you.

- Pardon. What a familiar woman? - An old friend.

Then maybe let's go, have dinner at the old familiar? I madly want to eat.

- Probably. - Lead us, the mysterious stranger.

- Everything will be completely secret. - Secretly? - Quite.

I know what you risked, Arriving to me.

Do not ask, why did you come from Paris - But I have not come from Paris, I ...

My colleague arrived from Berlin, but this is not recommended to speak aloud.

By the way, Berlin is a strange custom,

they eat so late that it is impossible to understand it - an early dinner or late lunch?

And now to act.

The old woman does not frighten? Strong woman?

- Your political credo? - Always! - Russia will not forget you!

Madame, a state secret. You know who this powerful old man?

Do not say you do not know. This is the master mind, the father of Russian democracy

and a person close to the Emperor!

- Our in town much? How are you feeling? - If no, I would say ...

With your help we will get back with the best people of the city,

whose bad luck has landed in the underground. Who can we invite?

Former vowel City Duma Charushnikov.

- You were in what regiment? - I, so to speak, are not served.

- You are a gentleman? - Yes, it was.

I hope you left them and now. Be brave, foreigners will help us.

Complete the secret organizations. Attention.

Be brave, the West will help us.

Guys, you gentlemen? Very good. West will help us. Be brave.

Complete confidentiality of deposits, ie, organizations Union of the sword and this, as it is? Oral!

Chairman of the Odessa bublichnoy Artel "Moscow Bun" Mr. Kislarsky.

- You were in what regiment? - Sorry, I did not serve.

- You are a gentleman? - Yes. - Yes? - No.

- Yes or no? - I do not know how you like.

As a representative of private capital, you can not remain deaf to the cries of the people.

- I can not. - Be brave.

- Do you know who is sitting? - I am afraid to make a mistake, but Jon Dough.

- Kitty? - Yes. - What is it Kitty? This is the master mind,

father of Russian democracy, the person, close to the emperor.

Secret alliance "Sword and Plowshare. - My God!

- However, you can leave. - I think I'll go.

But I warn you, we have long arms. - Then I'll stay.

- Be brave! Be brave! - Good.

Citizens are not going to talk about our goals meeting, you know it. The purpose of a saint.

Everywhere we hear the groans. From all corners of our vast country.

Some of you serve and eat white bread with butter, others - with black caviar,

others receive rations. Only Street children are without prizora.

We, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, to help them and we will help them.

Need immediate assistance. Children - flowers of life.

I invite you to make their contributions and help children.

Only children and to anyone else. You understand me?

Kindly make contributions in order seniority, gentlemen.

Let's start with the distinguished Maxim Petrovich. - In the best of times will give more.

Better times will come soon, however to street children is not the case.

Total 500 rubles. Lord, the children will not forget!

On the bottom of the next meeting will announced separately. Disperse one.

- Secrecy! - Yes!

Case for children must be secret. It is in your personal interest.

Them alive we will not surrender.

Bitter! Bitter!

Bitter! Bitter!

Comrade Bender, that with you?

- Nothing, my chicken, your cock is healthy. - Cock!

You're mad. You spoil everything. Give me a chair.

- Comrade Bender, well you do not go? - Ida, my chicken.

Go to the guests, my chicken, your cock is coming.

Here nothing.

Neto.

You do not know how to behave in a decent society.

You broke my family life.

Comrade Bender, well, where are you?

In the window!

Coming, coming!

Your gopher flies to his hen on the wings of love.

Excuse me, but where is the father of Theodore, where the same This treasure-hunter and enemy Vorobyaninov?

Father Theodore was hungry and wanted him wealth. Wiped his hard

and carried him to Russia for the suite general's Popova, which is not a damn thing.

Father Goes to Russia, only letters wife said.

My dear Kate. Not so my brief journey, as we thought.

Engineer Bruns moved from Stargorod in Kharkov, and then to Rostov, where I'm going.

Have patience and pray sell my old habit,

what to sell furniture, sleep on it myself.

Befallen me great distress, admiring from the window of a marvelous nature

my head the wind blew his cap. Kartuz blown away!

Concessionaires arrived in the capital exactly at 11 am Moscow time.

- Where did we come? - By the good people. In Moscow, their mass.

And all my friends. I ask you, Marshal.

This was the famous student hostel monk named Berthold Schwarz.

Once upon a time there lived student chemists now resembled a hostel

midway between zhiltovarischestvom and a feudal village.

Kolya, you home?

Again, this fool guests early in the morning come. Probably from the police.

Comrades, I can not be quiet? I want to sleep.

Yes, I'm home, come in!

Hi! Come in! And I'm married is Lisa.

- Kohl, can you for a minute? - The beautiful morning, ma'am.

But what really beautiful here!

Do not be surprised! This is from the very room, We got this audition.

I'll give you the room key Ivanopulo. He left for six months on a business trip.

Beautiful option. The key to the apartment, which will be based on money.

- Come to visit us! - Few of the guests!

Where did this student mattress girl?

Better had sold the skeleton than a mattress. Where are you, Marshal? Enter.

- Pardon me, but where will we sleep? - Comfortably settled.

Do not pay attention. This property Ivanopulo.

Now a short rest and a museum of furniture. By the way, get your share,

a person close to the emperor. Here is 200 rubles.

Can not count, you are not in church You are not deceived.

Souvenir. Picked up at the memory of Madame Gritsatsuyeva.

What? Sultry woman poet's dream.

Do not go to vegetarian dining.

I can not eat more rabbit out of carrots pea and sausage.

You prefer the meat of the poor animals vegetarian pieces, writing! - Food!

The first time in 3 months of married life Kohl realized that the wife does not like

vegetarian food, which he himself disliked.

But the meat of their family budget simply could not bear to.

- My girl! All diseases occur the meat. - Well, let them!

The body, weakened by the consumption of meat, unable to fight infection!

All happy families resemble one another, every unhappy unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, Part 1-I.

- Leo Tolstoy, and he did not eat meat. - And when he wrote "War and Peace" ate meat! Ed!

When "Anna Karenina" wrote gulped! Ruban, be healthy!

Do not interfere in our family life! What do you see me a trailer with his heavy?

I? To you?

Where are you going? I ask Thee, Whither goest thou?

- Farewell, unhappy! - Lisa!

Voices: drown ran. No, for the sausage.

Lizaveta, come back!

- So, what you see before you? - Bed. - That's right, more furniture.

What we said this furniture? The fact enormous unearned income

had a corrupt aristocracy. The girl hands furniture in the museum do not touch.

Only a sick fantasy decaying classes could produce bedroom furniture

such epic proportions. Needless to say that ordinary people

nothing to do in such beds. Funny nothing.

- Can I come? - You can, but hands do not touch.

What is it, is the last room, and their nowhere.

You, the leader, it's time for treatment electricity.

A chair is not a needle, we find. These? - No.

Comrade Bender!

- How did you get here? - Quite by accident.

I quarreled with her husband. - Really?

- Elizabeth ... - P.. - Very nice. Vorobyaninov.

- Sit down. - Thank you very much.

- Yes, Paris is now spring. - And you were in Paris?

- Repeatedly. - You - a scientist!

Yes. Long time already. Some way.

Forgive my immodesty, How old are you?

For science, which I represent, it has nothing to do.

Still? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?

- Almost. Thirty-eight. - What you say!

- And you look much younger. - You flatter me, mischief-maker.

Tell me, comrade, how can we explain that send you on a warrant furniture

not available? - As there?

What you say?

When you give me the happiness see you again?

- Where is Comrade Bender got to? - And here Bender! Today you can?

- I beseech you! - Good. Come and see us.

No, I'll meet in the open air. There are such wonderful weather.

This May - humourist, it may-magician, breathes fresh in our fan.

- It Mayakovsky poem. - Yes, I think.

- So today? - What country are you! - Thank you.

We need to urgently go to one place. Sorry.

By evening, Elizabeth.

- What happened? - Cab!

At the auction, and fast!

God! They! They are the most!

- Tell me, can I buy these chairs? - Only tomorrow. Today auction is over.

Assume that the chairs in our pocket. Pray for me.

Wine, women, the card you provided.

In his pocket lay Vorobyaninov 200 rubles.

Former society lion decided to dazzle Lisa breadth of scope.

Be kind!

- Can you ask for? - This table is not served. Peresyadte.

Sorry, this table for foreigners.

However! Veal cutlets 2-25, fillet - 2-25, vodka - but!

Restaurant margin.

- I beg you! Would you ... - No, I do not want to eat.

Or that's what, whether you have something vegetarian?

- Vegetarian not hold. - Then as:

Give us sausages here for those 1-20, a bottle of vodka and .. All.

What you bite? Caviar, salmon, rasstegaychikov, oysters?

- Do not! How much you pickled cucumbers? - Snout!

Ok. Give! Two!

I have never been here. It is very nice.

Would you?

For the ladies!

I'm going, and you stay!

As a gentleman, I can not allow.

Please!

Let's go to the rooms!

The waiter, champagne!

Hama!

Champagne!

Figure depicting justice. Bronze! Show public justice.

Five rubles. Who more? - Six!

And here started a great commotion if they learned that in those chairs!

9 rubles - one, 9 rubles - two, 9 rubles - three.

Justice is sold. Get the money, the sixth row from left.

- Ten chairs from a palace! - Why is the palace? - Sit up, put here.

- 80 rubles! - 90! 100! 110! 115!

120! 125! 130! 145!

145 rubles in the fifth row on the left - again, 145 - two 145 - three!

Two hundred.

200 - time 200 - two 200 - three. Sold.

- Well, how effectively? - Yes.

- That you bought chairs? - We. When they can pick up?

Right now!

- With you 230 rubles. - Why 230 and not 200?

Includes 15 percent commission collection.

What to do, take it! I have a 200. Throw thirty, dorozhayshy.

- I have no money. - How? A 200 rubles?

- I have lost them. - Give me the money, you old bastard!

- So you'll pay? - Wait a minute. A small hitch.

We do not know about any charges. It is necessary to prevent!

I refuse to pay these 30 rubles!

Well, now I'll arrange everything.

Under the rules of bargaining, a person who refuses pay the full amount

must leave the room. I beg you!

Yes, the effect was great. Such attacks smooth operator did not feel long.

Outrageous orders! The police need them to complain!

God knows what? Fight with the workers at inflated prices.

For some second-hand chairs, 10 -- 230 rubles. It's mad.

Here's the police. Here's a high cost chairs for the workers of all countries,

here's a night walk on the girls. Here's no fool

here's an old fool. Now get out!

All gone. Necklace sold piecemeal.

What's new?

Drive off kid!

Quiet you, Gabriel. Go, 3 floor.

Luxury chmara brought chairs on Varsonofevsky, Building 17, Apartment 17.

Keep ruble.

- Uncle, would have to add! - From a dead donkey ears. You will receive in Pushkin.

Bye, defective.

So, where are 9 chairs know exactly. Chances are there.

Worries me 10-second chair. 9 against one. The combination of good.

Listen, you, ladies' favorite. Chairs need to strike while they are hot.

Act boldly, more cynicism. People like it.

But even without criminal. Code, we must honor.

Dictionary of Shakespeare about 12 thousand words,

Dictionary of savage cannibalistic tribe Mumba-Yumba is 300 words.

Shchukin Ellochka easy to get along 30 words.

Ho - ho!

The words "ho, ho" Ellochka Shchukin expressed anything.

In this case, she said: I swear to honor, of this hoodie can come

gorgeous dress, not worse than this unhappy American.

Seeing me in a new dress, men would follow me to the edge of the world,

stuttering of love, but I'll be cool.

Railway!

Hello, Elenochka!

Hey, kid!

- And what is this? Where chairs? - Ha!

Translation: Is not it true what dear? Tell me then, I have no taste.

Yes, chairs are good. Gave someone? - Wow!

"Do not be naive, who will do such gifts. "

So you bought them? This is the devil knows what!

Ha! (I asked to choose the expression).

- Are you living beyond your means! - Do not tell me how to live!

- Let's talk seriously. I get 200 rubles. - Ghastly!

I do not take bribes, money not steal, spoof can not. - Ha!

Well, that's what. It is impossible to live. We need to disperse.

- Colossal! - Where did you get that idiotic jargon?

- Do not tell me how to live! - This is absolutely intolerable!

Let disperse peacefully. The room will stay with you.

I'll give you 100 rubles a month. Even 120. Live as you want.

- Ivan went to the house and left me his apartment. - Colossal!

Only furniture there is not enough. I'll table and one of these chairs.

- I think I have this right? - Iron!

Wow!

In the case!

- A beautiful fur! - Ho-ho! Mexican tushkan.

That can not be. You were deceived. You are given a much better fur!

This Shanghai leopards. I recognize them by hue.

See how the fur is playing in the sun? - Iron kid.

- Are you surprised by an early visit unknown men? - Ho-ho!

- I to you on a delicate matter. - Yeah.

Yesterday you were at the auction and made great impression on me.

Only you, with your feminine intuition, can choose such an artistic thing.

- Sell them to me. I'll give 10 rubles. - Ho-ho?

Do not be rude, kid.

By the way, now in Europe and Philadelphia decided to pour the tea through a strainer.

Unusually effective and elegant. I just knew the diplomat had brought from Vienna.

- Ho-ho! - Ho-ho! Oh-ho!

- Let's change. You are my chairs And I will strainer? - Iron!

- I'll ask you a second chair. - Ho-ho.

What is "ho-ho"? Where the second chair?

We are free as a bird, it's time, brother, it's time.

There where the sea is white mountain ...

There, where many blue sea edge, where ...

Janitor!

Janitor!

The situation was terrible. In Moscow, in the city center, on-site 9 floor

was a grown man with a higher education, absolutely naked.

He was nowhere to go. He would rather agreed to sit in jail

What seem that way. One thing remained: to disappear.

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