Original subtitles

Thank you.

Don't I appeal to you?

Oh, baby, I believe you only live once.

Cool it, mister.

What thing?

We just took a crazy photo of you two.

And Blondie here just happens to be underage.

Okay.

What do you want?

$2,000 cash.

If you want the picture.

Now drive out of here.

And don't look back.

We'll keep it. Thank you.

By the time I got home, I was a nervous wreck.

What a hell of a mess.

Two thousand dollars was just about all I had left in the bank.

Come here, honey.

I was sure Mary would take one look at me and suspect the worst.

I'm not even going to ask you why you're late, hubby dear.

Not tonight.

Please, honey.

Not now.

I've had a hell of a hard day at the office.

Please.

Please, honey. Just my bad luck.

She was in one of her romantic moods.

I just couldn't turn on for her.

And she was trying every trick in her repertoire.

One thing about Mary, she wasn't easily discouraged.

I certainly didn't want to compound the trouble I was in by giving Mary some

unpleasant little surprise like something I may have picked up from the

girl.

Please, Henry.

Nothing now. It's just that I'm tired and a little worried about some business

at the office.

You don't want my love.

Don't expect my sympathy.

I spent the rest of the night wondering how I was going to get out of this one.

Hello?

Yeah, I've got it.

Okay, I'll meet her you're sure this is gonna be the end of it.

I can't raise another dime Yeah, okay

Here's your money.

Not here.

Drive. Where?

Same place.

I should have hated this blackmailing little chick.

But driving up the same road with her just seemed to stir me up all over

again.

It's all there.

Now, give me the picture.

You don't have to be so mean.

You know, I'm really all not that bad.

As a matter of fact, I'm pretty good.

Look, you played the old badger game, and I fell for it.

Oh, Daddy, don't be nasty.

I kind of did you, believe me.

Don't be so nervous.

There's no one around this time.

Anyway, you can't get in any more trouble than you're already in.

So why not let the crime fit the punishment?

Damn you, you little devil.

Against all my better judgment, I just couldn't control myself.

Oh my God.

You little bitch.

No, no, but she made me do it.

See, here's the money.

You lying little bitch.

I'll teach you not to fool around with men.

Now get on that bike.

And as for you, mister, I'm going to fix you real.

Good.

If I thought the headache from the smack on the head was bad, it was nothing

compared to the headaches that were being cooked up for me by Dolly's

friends.

Hello? Mrs. Thomas?

Yes?

Your husband's been acting kind of, uh, strange lately, right?

Well, yes.

Now, if you'd like to find out what your husband's been up to, I suggest we get

together.

Say for lunch.

But I don't understand.

Oh, you will.

I'll stop by and pick you up.

I had knocked off early for lunch and decided to pick up some flowers and try

to make up with Mary when something unexpected changed my plans.

Those motorcyclists were wearing the same emblem as my blackmailers.

I decided to do a little detective work.

I couldn't recognize anyone in the bar, so I decided to check out the

motorcycles.

Hey, that's my buddy's bike, mister.

You another cop?

Not hardly, yeah.

I'm looking for someone in particular.

One of my gang?

I don't know.

Just someone wearing that lightning bolt emblem has got me in a hell of a lot of

trouble. Trouble?

Hey, you don't know what trouble is.

We've been pulled in three times this last week.

Maybe you know what it's all about.

No.

All I know is someone using the same emblem is pulling a new version of the

old badger game.

And I guess I'm not its only victim.

We're not angels, but we're clean on that one.

I think maybe some other gang wears the same emblem.

No chance. We'd frame them.

You better shove off and take somebody else's license number.

Thanks, anyway.

Hey, if you run into those guys, let us know. You know where to find us. We'll

take care of them.

But another gang was using the lightning bolt symbol.

And they already had their hands on my wife.

I just can't believe it about you.

I don't understand it.

I was sure he loved me.

You saw the picture, Helen.

Pictures don't lie.

Just relax, babe. Take it easy. Cool it. You're my friend.

We found out what men are.

And we found we can live just as well without them. You can say that again.

But how did you get the picture?

Right here, with our little Polaroid camera.

We were having a picnic.

We looked through the bushes.

That's what we saw.

Speaking of pictures, why don't we take a few, Billy?

Talk up to Sunshine.

All right.

How about a ride, baby?

Crazy.

girls. Oh,

that'd be right back.

Oh, God.

Take me home.

I've made up my mind.

Okay, honey.

Girls!

And Butch, may I have the picture?

Sure, honey.

Anything you want.

When I got home after work, I had a strange feeling that something was

wrong.

Very wrong.

Honey?

Mary had left me.

She left a terse farewell note and something else that explained her

departure only too clearly.

The photograph.

But on the notepad, I spotted something she hadn't meant to leave behind.

It was a slight impression of an address.

It was dark by the time I located the street and found the right house.

It certainly is nice of you girls to put me up until I get a new start.

Oh, think nothing of it, honey. It's our pleasure.

You don't have to guess. I've been here.

You look beat.

Why don't you turn in?

Well, it has been an emotional day.

Billy? Come on upstairs, honey. Good night. Good night, Dex.

Now that's what I call a good day.

Uh-huh.

She's ripe for membership in our club.

She sure is.

I've got a surprise for you.

Anybody want to play fuzz? Take that off.

I'm the boss around here.

Come to bed.

She's sleeping like a baby butch, aren't you, Lena?

Not tonight, you dope.

Well, I'll get a chance tomorrow.

Sounds like a ball.

This calls for a celebration.

What could I do to get Mary out of this mess?

The next day, I went back to the beer bar.

Maybe Mike and his gang could help me.

It was closed, so I decided to wait around.

After all, I had been involved with a teenage girl.

I couldn't very well go to the police for sympathy.

I didn't know it, but my wife's initiation party had gotten off to an

early start.

Hey, you're back.

Hey, I found them. The gang wearing the same emblem.

They're dykes.

Women. Man-haters.

Give me the address and tomorrow we'll take care of them. No, I can't wait

until tomorrow.

They have my wife.

And they're doing a pretty good job of turning her into a dyke.

What do you say, boys? Should we help this guy out?

Yeah, what do you say?

Crazy.

All right. Let's go. Okay, follow me. All right.

Please don't.

How do you know to use Friday?

Please don't touch me.

Your husband didn't seem to mind me touching him, babe.

You! It was you in the picture!

That's right, love.

You're all right, all of you. Let me go.

It's too late to back out now, baby. This party is just for you.

Grab her, girl.

What a pretty little scene this is. Mary?

Are you okay, honey?

Well, boys, what are we going to do with these hellcats?

I know what I got to do.

Blondie?

Hey, take it easy, baby. I swing both ways.

Come on, baby.

It's your turn now.

Come on.

Okay, baby, bite it.

No.

Bite it.

Keep going.

Well, I guess that just leaves the two of us.

No man has ever touched me.

And no man ever will.

Take me home. All right.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't worry about Mike.

Mary and I are back together now. In fact, our experience has brought us

closer than ever.

I often think of how near I came to losing her.

to a frightening world of the abnormal.

Oddly enough, I did run across the characters in my story once again, quite

by accident.

Strangely, I didn't feel any anger toward them.

When I saw the leaders of the two gangs together on the same bike, I was even

rather pleased.

In fact, I even felt a ray of hope for the future of mankind.