All language subtitles for S03E04 - Rare Objects

ROD SERLING: Tonight's stars,

Mickey Rooney,

Raymond Massey

and Fay Spain.

Good evening.

As the resident custodian of
this museum, I bid you welcome.

And offer you the felicitations
of our entire staff,

most of whom are out and
about at the moment,

since they tend
to be night people.

Our artist and artisans
take rather pardonable pride

in their work that you
see hanging here.

An example is this item here.

It's called Rare Objects,

and represents that potpourri
of collector's items

that some men
are prone to acquire.

But there are collector's
items and collected items.

Offered to you now, an excursion
into the very strange.

Tonight's offering
in the Night Gallery.

(WINE CORK POPPING)

Hey, you!
Hey, come here.

You got a name?

Blockman, sir.
My name is Blockman.

Blockman.

You keep filling my glass here
with wine like it was water.

Tell me Blockman, why?

It's just the house wine, sir.
House wine.

It's an answer, it's not a good
answer, but it's an answer.

You always this busy?

Sir?

I said, "Are you
always this busy?"

Yes, sir.
I mean, no, sir.

It's just a little
slow tonight.

A little slow.
Bunch of empty tables.

Empty bar, couple of toilets
back there empty,

and you say it's "a little slow," huh?
(LAUGHS)

Where's Schirrappa?

(STAMMERING)
He's home, sick.

Mr. Blockman,

I want you to do me a favor.
I want you to, uh...

Go out the front door. There's
a sedan parked at the curb,

with couple of guys in it.

I want you to tell me
what they doing,

and I want you to get the
license plate number. Hmm?

Yes sir.
All right, do it.

There are two men
in the front seat.

Doing what?

Just sitting there.

Did you get the license?

I couldn't see it,
it was too dark.

But I think the last
three numbers were 0-0-4.

Yeah.
That's good enough.

You got any kids,
Mr. Blockman?

Two, sir.

Two. Chips off the old
Blockman, huh? (CHUCKLES)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Here.

Give them couple
of these saws.

Tell them it's compensation for
having a dummy for a father.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Kolodney.

You want some dessert?

No.

What I do want is I want to find
out how do you know my name?

Who told you my name?
Your name, sir...

How do you know my name?

L just recognized you, sir.

(GROANS) Don't you try
and get cute with me.

You've never been
in here before.

I have never seen you here.

Half hour ago
a young couple came here,

you said the kitchen
was closed.

(EXHALES) You know what that adds
up in my book, Mr. Blockman, huh?

I'll tell you what
it adds up to.

It adds up to somebody
telling you to keep me here,

keep my glass
filled with wine,

my plate filled
with fettuccine

and keep the place empty.

The question is who?
And why?

And you better give me the right
answer in the next ten seconds,

or I'm gonna chop you up
into a 150-pound ravioli.

Honest... Honest,
Mr. Kolodney.

I don't know
who you are.

I don't know nothing
about anything. I...

(suns FIRING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Yes?
Augie.

(STAMMERS) What do
you want, Augie?

I want you to stand there and see how
it takes me to knock this door in.

Open it LIP- (DOOR
HANDLE RATTLING)

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

Am I in the right place?

You are Molly Mitchell,
aren't you?

Huh?

What's the gag, Augie?

It's not gag.
I'll feed you,

and you give me
the punch lines.

I asked you to have
dinner with me tonight.

You say, "No, Augie. I can't have
dinner with you, I've got a cold."

I have a cold.

There was contract
down on me.

And you knew about it.

You fingered me.

You're hurt, Augie.

Don't worry about this. It'll heal
a lot faster than my feelings.

What... What are you
gonna do, Augie?

(MOCKINGLY) What are
you gonna do, Augie?

Tell you what you're
gonna do, Miss Mitchell.

What you are gonna do,
you are gonna go upstairs,

pack one of your
beautiful little bags,

throw a lot of your
little beautiful rags in it,

and you are gonna
get out of my sight.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Put Tony on,
will you please?

Yeah, I'll wait.

Augie.

It wasn't my idea. I know
it wasn't your idea.

You haven't got a idea
past a shopping list.

Hello.

Tony.

One question.

I want an answer
and make it believable.

Were you in on
that hit on me tonight?

All right, now, listen good.

I'm gonna need three items.

One, doctor.

Two...

Three sets of muscles.

Three, I want you over here no
longer than about 15 minutes

after I hang up this phone,
you understand?

Hmm.

Mitchell's. Molly Mitchell's.

DOCTOR: You are lucky, Mr. Kolodney.
Yeah I am lucky, all right.

But what am I lucky in? I'm unlucky
in dice, with broads, horses...

So you tell me doc,
what am I lucky in, huh?

(DOCTOR CHUCKLES)
Huh?

.45 caliber slugger, quarter
of an inch from an artery.

A quarter of an inch,
Mr. Kolodney.

That's the difference between
a bandage and a funeral.

That's lucky.

Also you've got
yourself a doctor

who doesn't report
gunshot wounds.

So, would you like to pay me now
or should I send you a bill?

Tony. (SNAPS FINGERS)
You know, pay him.

Now, I give you
the midnight special,

medical advice
that doesn't cost.

What advice?

You've got a pulse
like a locomotive.

Your heartbeat sounds
like a dull needle

on a broken
phonograph record.

Your blood pressure is all set to
blow you into the next county.

That's the advice.

What's the prescription?

Also free.

Retire.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Retire?

Buy a dairy farm
in Bucks county.

Stop drinking like a fish,
eating like a hippo,

(STAMMERS) and running through life
like you are gonna miss a train.

Now, that's my
advice to you.

They'd still find me.

Who would?
Any one of a...

Dozen torpedoes,
who are jealous of me.

You want out?

Do I want out?

I want out so...

(SIGHS) One of these days
lam gonna take a razor

and gonna have to have bucket
brigade to clean up the mess.

(LAUGHS)

(DOCTOR SCRIBBLING ON PAPER)

There's a...

There's a name and address
on this slip of paper.

Somebody who might
be able to help you.

Help me in what?
Survive.

If you are as hungry
for it as you say you are.

Survive?

How much will
it cost me?

A lot.

But you'll stay breathing.

(LAUGHS)

That's good enough
for me, doc.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Yes.

Dr. Glendon.

DR. GLENDON:
Mr. Kolodney.

You are Dr. Glendon?

I'm delighted
to see you.

Shall we go in here
where we can talk?

Won't you sit down,
Mr. Kolodney?

(KOLODNEY SIGHS)

Are you interested
in art, Mr. Kolodney?

We have some
interesting things here.

That vase there,
for example.

Japanese.

It's called Kutani.

17th century,
Kaga province.

Those things over there,
are Persian.

The jug is 13th century.

It's from Sultanabad.

Oh, l would imagine you would like
to get on with things, wouldn't you?

Yes, I would like to...

Uh, get on with it, doctor.
Whatever that is, you know.

I have gotta tell
you up front,

there are couple of things
that I just plain don't like.

I don't like the secrecy
of the whole thing.

I don't like you warning me not to
tell anybody that I am coming here,

and you wanted me
to come here alone.

That doesn't please.

Really?

In truth the secrecy was for
your benefit, Mr. Kolodney.

Oh, be that as it may.

Now, let's get some facts
and chronology down, shall we?

Name, August Kolodney.

Age?

Over thirty.

Occupation?

Investor.

Reason for retirement?

III health.

Look, what am I
picking out?

A spot on a bench for a senior
citizens program or something?

Why all these questions?

The questions are to
establish who you are.

And to aid me
a general comprehension

of whether or not
you need my services,

and are willing
to accept them.

I'll run that around the block,
doctor, after I've found out

just what your services are.

Excellent.

But let us start on a note
of mutual trust, shall we?

I asked you
your occupation.

And I told you.

You told me a half truth.

And a half truth, Mr. Kolodney
is also a half lie.

You dabble in investments,

but you're not an investor.

All right, then you...

You put a tag on me, doctor.

I think we could
place you generically

in the category
of racketeer?

No moral judgments implied,
Mr. Kolodney.

I'm looking
for identification.

Now, as to your reasons
for retirement?

III health.

Again, a degree or so
off target, isn't it?

Ill health, in your case,
is a euphemism

for fear for survival.

You are already aspirant for
assassination, are you not?

All right.
Suppose I am?

Just what do you
intend doing about it?

I guarantee you a long life.

Longer than you could
have ever hoped for.

Free of care,
devoid of worry,

absolutely without fear
or tensions of any kind.

An uninterrupted
physical comfort

for the rest of your days.

All that is a firm and
unqualified guarantee.

Now wait a minute.
Hold it, doctor.

That to me is
a half a transaction.

I know what I am going to get,
but what I want to know is

what are you going to get?

Everything you own.

Cash, securities, stocks,
bonds, insurance policies,

business interests,
everything.

You come high,
doctor. (LAUGHS)

After all, I'm just an
average hard-working hood.

That, Mr. Kolodney, is either a
deliberate misrepresentation

or a sad underestimation

of your position
and worth.

You're not an average hood,
Mr. Kolodney.

You are unique unto yourself.

You're special.
You're one of a kind.

You're the biggest,
toughest, richest,

most powerful of your gentry.

And also the most vulnerable.

That doesn't exactly leave you
with a plethora of possibilities.

Well, l...

I'd like a little time
to think it over.

For how long?
(GRUNTS)

After all it isn't...

It isn't something that one
decides between lunch and dinner.

Really?

I should think otherwise,
in your case.

But you would be taking away
from me everything that I own.

Literally everything.

I'd be taking very little,
compared with your life.

And that's what others
would be taking.

Mr. Pinelli,

an entrepreneur
of a rival faction.

It seems that he engineered an attempt
on your life just a few nights ago

in a Long Island restaurant.

And he came up
with zero, too.

And on Christmas Eve
of last year,

a bomb placed in your car,

which detonated
precisely 35 seconds

after you left
the rear seat.

And on the previous year,
three assassination attempts.

Doctor, look I don't
want to hear history

on how many times
I've been fingered.

It's occupational hazard.

And after a while it...

It gets kind of hard
to live with.

It's heavy. You...

You cave in.

Are you enjoying
the wine, Mr. Kolodney?

It's quite rare.

It's a St. Julien of
a rather ancient vintage.

The only one of its kind.

That goblet you hold
in your hand

happens to be
an Etruscan silver.

Also unique.
There are no others.

(SIGHS) Well I want to...

I want to take in till at least
next Friday to think about this.

Excuse me for saying
this, Mr. Kolodney,

but the odds on your survival
shrink with each passing day.

You say, "Friday,"
and I say,

"Will you be a live
client on Friday?

"Or just a dead
former prospect?"

Uh, let me support my
somewhat negative thesis.

You have in your employ a
young strong-arm named Tony.

Tony, Tony,
yes, he is the best.

Tony's the best
in the business.

And he can't be bought.

Couldn't be. But "can't"?

As a matter of fact, just after
you left him this morning,

Tony had a meeting
with Mr. Pinelli

in a bar in 8th Avenue.

Suggest something?

He sold me out?

Your staunchly loyal
right-hand man.

Yes, he's selling you out.

How do you know
these things?

How do you know
this stuff?

I make it my business
to know all this stuff.

I have to know
everything about a client.

From the odds on his longevity
to his collar size.

However...

If you want to
wait a week...

(STAMMERS)

l don't, uh...

I don't feel very well.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Just a touch of nerves.

Would you care to, uh...

Rest a bit?

(GRUNTS) Yes. I...
I believe I would.

Are you a medical doctor?

I was so trained.

But as a very young man,
I went into research.

I feel,
I feel rotten.

It'll pass,
it's a normal reaction.

Normal reaction to what?

To the introduction
to the medication.

It was in your wine,
Mr. Kolodney.

Nothing very potent. Just a
tranquilizer to relax you.

You drugged me!

Mr. Kolodney, anger
should be the last thing

in the world
you indulge in.

You are going to be
the recipient of a drug

which I have used
for 73 years.

It affects the glands.
It revitalizes them.

My dear, Mr. Kolodney,
it is the closest thing

to the Fountain of Youth
ever found by Man.

It can add inestimable years

to the normal life span.

Forgive me, Mr. Kolodney, l
wouldn't want you tearing this.

It's a Vauvai.
Very rare.

As a matter of fact,
I only collect rare things.

One-of-a-kind things.

I don't care
about your hobbies.

It is not a hobby, Mr. Kolodney.
It's more than that.

It is a dream of a lifetime,
lived and realized.

The most incredible
collection in the world.

Sui generis.

Precious, unequaled,
incomparable.

Her Royal Highness,
the Grand Duchess Anastasia,

daughter of Tsar Nicholas II,

who vanished
mysteriously in 1918.

But not, it seems, from
the face of the earth.

Judge Joseph Force Crater,

missing since 1930,

in circumstances

with which I am sure
you are familiar.

My prized possession,

obtained in Argentina
in 1947,

at an incredible expense.

Roald Amundsen,
known to you, I am sure,

as the discoverer
of South Pole,

but long presumed dead,

in the vast waste
of the Arctic.

Amelia Earhart?

For my so-called hobby I've
have spared no expense.

And now Mr. Kolodney, you have the
honor of joining my collection.

I think you will find
all the comforts available,

according to our agreement.

No tensions,
no jeopardy.

And no need
to be afraid.

And further than that,
Mr. Kolodney.

You are going to live
a very long time.

Avery,
very long time.

I will call in
on you later.

That gentleman's
car, doctor?

Put it in the automobile
museum, Joseph.

Put it next to
Hitler's Mercedes.

I think that will
be most fitting.

Been a very
good day, Joseph.

An exceptionally
good day.

Today we acquired
another collector's item.