Original subtitles

B

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

yeah exactly that's my I said to him I

said hey man I know you're trying to get

this wrapped by the end of the quarter

but it's just not going to

happen exactly oh hey Ted your dad and I

are going out tomorrow night can you

make dinner for your

brother uh I I was I swear do you have

plans okay well I need you to be here

please

honey no [ __ ] way what did you

say

please thank

you uh-huh love you

Mom oh my God I would have been so

[ __ ] pissed

good evening everybody you're listening

to Golden oldies this is Rick rodchester

your host for this evening in the next

several several hours here's a classic

love and M by the daylight

[Music]

19 i

s

twine he told me

your

m

smile in

her

she's for a savior

I would gladly

[Music]

Dam hey Dad hey bud how goes the

driving uh you know it's it's fine it's

it's going it's going yeah yeah I hear

you is every anything good you you sound

a

little are you doing

okay you know honestly lately I've been

I've been feeling oh God damn

it is is everything good yeah yeah son

sorry the the [ __ ] dog just just

pissed all over the

carpet [ __ ] Ted I'm sorry I'm going to

have to call you back this this driving

me crazy it's it's it's good dad I I got

you I'll give you call back in a minute

I just I just have to handle this [ __ ]

I'll talk to you later yeah yeah uh I

love you

[Music]

come inside right

now do not

scream no no no

[Music]

no look I know the managers this place

all right they trust me come

[Music]

inside give me your

phone and your wallet

Magnolia

Street it's a nice neighborhood you know

I've

been all

right here's

how all this is going to

go you're going to drive me around until

I

see the right

person I'm going to get out on the Rob

him you're then going to drive me far

far away and then we're going to

separate do you understand

me no no no I'm not [ __ ] doing that

no shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ]

up look this can go easy or it can go

hard but it's going one way

you going to drive

me I'm going to do this and

then you're

done Drive

you're going to take the next two rights

and a

[Music]

left park at the End of the

Street up here

keep it running

[Music]

[Music]

hey here I don't even [ __ ] have

[Music]

911 sh [ __ ] sh sh sh sh come on come on

come on [ __ ] [ __ ]

you need a [ __ ]

dbe god what are you

doing [ __ ]

God

[ __ ] [ __ ] drive

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]

[ __ ]

God

so I have like 3/4 of the

tank yeah I filled up earlier tonight so

like there's some distance we can

cover I I just I need to

know what you like need from me

here drive us

North

yeah yeah yeah I got a friend with out

there in the mill eure way off the

map you're gonna take me to

it

okay you're going to stay off the

highway and you're going to drive like

you're taking a test with the [ __ ]

DMV do you understand me

Mom is calling God oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] she's

going to know something's up she's like

[ __ ] sidekick or something I swear to

God this is [ __ ] bad this is [ __ ]

bad Shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ]

up shut the [ __ ]

up we going to tell her that everything

is [ __ ] fine you're with a friend you

got a flat I don't care but the message

is you are

1,000% okay

do you understand

me hey Mom kdy where the [ __ ] are

you I I'm out with a friend a

friend yeah what do you mean what

friend you remember [ __ ] Mato Donal

from [ __ ] junior year calculus or

whatever kind of well I [ __ ] ran into

him at a restaurant and he asked if I

wanted to hang

out uh

okay yeah yeah all

right so we're

cool uh whatever it's not

yeah just don't stay out all

night yeah I won't I I'll I'll be home

soon okay don't forget I need you to

watch will tomorrow night

got you Mom all

right have a good night son you too

yep my M was just like

that isn't the [ __ ]

worst yeah and like just it's so [ __ ]

cringe because you know I I get it I get

it you know like will my little brother

he's got he's got these [ __ ] [ __ ] hot

grades and he's this [ __ ] talented

athlete and all these [ __ ] kids

worship him like he's a God and I I get

it I'm not a [ __ ] party I'm not easy

to be around sometimes but that doesn't

mean there should be like [ __ ]

preferential treatment or whatever like

that [ __ ] sucks and it makes me feel

like [ __ ] and like what even the [ __ ] am

I supposed to do about that like change

everything about myself like that that's

a non [ __ ] starter you know what I

mean uh hey uh I I got to take a

piss absolutely not please I I've had to

go since before I pick you up stoping

dude look I I swear to God I won't try

anything I [ __ ] you can keep the gun

drawn while I do it you can [ __ ] hold

my dick I

[ __ ] please just

please up over there they you in two

[ __ ] minutes you have 2 minutes

wait

wait get out

March stop

hey uh I know I'm pushing my luck but is

there any way I could bum

one yeah I I've been trying to quit for

a minute it's just it's it's been a long

night

please throw the lighter back

you know I'm pretty [ __ ] pissed off

of myself right now I remember the last

cigarette I had uh I was on a

beach yeah we we um come to Santa Cruz

for new years's and uh I've been working

on this pack for like a couple days

beforehand

right and it just so happened that I was

on my last cigarette on New Year's Eve

the last day of the year so I remember

thinking you know great I'll you know

smoke this one and I'll be done I'll be

done

forever but

uh

circumstances I I

didn't plan for

this I didn't expect

this uh when did you first start smoking

13 what what I was 13 oh dude literally

that's that's when I first started I I

remember uh it was like right after my

birthday I was with my cousin and I and

I remember telling him like that I

wanted like a ride of Passage or

something I didn't call it that cuz I

was like [ __ ] 13 but he gave me my

first one uh it was a spirit

yeah I I know but I just I remember

feeling so [ __ ] cool like I was the

[ __ ]

man so [ __ ] stupid I wish I'd never

[ __ ] touch these things I'm [ __ ]

bad basically the same story it's just

one of those things you know

let's get back on the road

[Music]

you know

uh personally I I've never minded these

long road trips I know some people like

my [ __ ] brother will it takes all 10

minutes he's like 10 minutes

I don't know I just I [ __ ] I've never

been too hard to please you know I'm

like a I'm low maintenance like a

goldfish you

know that's why it's I've been so

[ __ ] confused for like Years cuz like

everyone doesn't have trouble with the

[ __ ] I [ __ ] trouble with you know

it's like first day school everyone

comes in and they already [ __ ] they

already know how to dress they know who

their [ __ ] friends are they know what

to feel and [ __ ] think and I just

I never know how I'm [ __ ] feeling I'm

just [ __ ]

confused what am I supposed to [ __ ]

do with

that yeah dude and I [ __ ] I love my

parents I do I love them but I cannot

pretend that they didn't make all of

this [ __ ] [ __ ] worse not on purpose

obviously but it was like I was always

[ __ ] wrong the ways I was trying were

always [ __ ] wrong it was my fault I

didn't have [ __ ] friends coming to

the house all the time it was my [ __ ]

I had [ __ ] shitty grades it was my

fault that I [ __ ] dropped out of

college and like I can count on I can

count on one [ __ ] hand how many times

they like ask me how I was or how I was

feeling or

[ __ ] it's like you're completely

invisible exactly [ __ ] exactly like

they they view me as as their creation

their son but they're completely

incapable of viewing me as like a human

being I feel the same way

really yeah my folks only had me but

seems like even that was a

little much for them you know they could

never quite find the time that's my dad

to a [ __ ] te I can see it in his eyes

when we're [ __ ] talking he's like

he's on mars or

something and I I know like this is just

the most classic [ __ ] thing to say

but like why even have kids when you

already know who you want them to be

like isn't that part of the [ __ ]

Journey or whatever is to the [ __ ]

discover who they are like with

them preach into the

choir

kids no why

not she never appealed to me why

not I

am the type of person person who

values agency fair enough not a lot of

time to go around with

kids well I want kids I want to be a dad

that's just something I've always known

it feels like my parents never like

wanted to be parents like it was [ __ ]

something they were stuck with or

handed I asked my father one time right

he my mom that

me what you say

he

said

was the thing to do Jesus [ __ ] Christ

dude yeah I know well when I'm a dad I'm

not going to [ __ ] say [ __ ] like that

to my kids I'm going to [ __ ] talk to

them I'm going to [ __ ] be there for

them I'm going to

[ __ ] oh god I've con convinced myself

for years to be easier to do better than

my parents did but I feel like what I'm

[ __ ] trying to describe is so [ __ ]

vague like I couldn't be a parent better

than they could but I hope after like

like like 20 [ __ ] years at it I'd be

good at it at

least I can say with absolute confidence

I would

have planned

better than your parents did oh

yeah how

so my folks are

just very impulsive people people

very caution to the

wind what are they like now if they like

Mell it out at

all you know I don't see much of them

these days H there's there's some

distance

there yeah honestly I feel like there's

not enough distance for me like I feel I

feel like I'm [ __ ] suffocating like

like I'm in a circle dude like if they

had given me the space to figure all

this [ __ ] out when I was younger maybe

maybe I would have you

know do they have their [ __ ] figured out

no no of course not but they seem just

as [ __ ] scared and confused as I am

sometimes but like I know they were

trying their [ __ ] best yeah well best

is a relative term I know and it just

makes me feel like [ __ ] like if these

people who guided you know who guided me

who literally [ __ ] created me

like still don't know like that's just

that's a scary [ __ ]

thought can't dwell on it

though it'll make you

[ __ ]

crazy I don't know but what else am I

supposed to do

uh did you have trouble making friends

when you were

younger specific line of questioning

yeah yeah sorry I just I'm not trying to

be a dick I'm just I'm wondering

something I was not what you would

call well liked what was going

on could you just remember always

feeling different like like

apart no

more

like above

above yeah the other kids [ __ ] bored

me I went out to recess it was as if

they had set loose a bunch of [ __ ]

farm animals you know I spent my time

alone was it was that like like hard on

you

no for the most part the most

part yeah well what was like the Lesser

part if I were to examine myself I think

I would

say it left me

feeling

less than

impactful I went through a period of

time where it felt like nothing I really

did mattered you're talking like

powerlessness no

not explicitly I just

mean it was as if I was a character and

everybody else's story like I existed to

create context to fill in

gaps but I wasn't in control I

wasn't writing my own story I wasn't in

control dude I've never felt in control

honestly well it doesn't seem as though

it's particularly important to

you Jesus man that sounds

rough it was what it

was I was I was like the exact [ __ ]

opposite I [ __ ] I craved attention

approval good or bad I just it's my

[ __ ] curse dude my [ __ ] state of

being directly relies on how others are

[ __ ] perceiving me it's my [ __ ]

poison but

like when I when I get you know when I

make someone laugh or like when I smile

at a girl in a thrift store and she like

smiles back like that makes it go away

temporarily you know the poison Poison's

gone your

neediness

is your

weakness Teddy

I I don't know about that one

okay you sound like my [ __ ] parents

yeah well I know you've had your

troubles with them Teddy but a broken

clock is right twice a

day

so how did you get along your parents uh

when you were

younger fine you know status quo I did

my homework I wasn't really in any

trouble with the other kid

so was fine yeah but you know what about

like

interpersonally what do you mean Daddy

you know like how did you get along with

them there wasn't much getting a along

oh you guys were fighting all the time

no I mean they did sometimes but even

that

was better what was it like on the

regular

quiet did you feel like you can talk to

them we were surprisingly open when

there was talking to be

had like what' you guys talk about

well I was younger so I remember I

mostly did a lot of listening but I

remember it was a lot easier to talk

about how I

felt are you honest with

them yeah I'm not a

liar what did they say when you told

them you thought of everyone as farm

animals

you know I don't think I ever got to

tell them

actually are your

parents

[ __ ] get out see what's happening

we got a

flat we got a

spare uh yeah and the

trunk okay well we flip it on on feel

like what what's the hold up let's go

come on

uh hey can you shine a light over here

so I can uh see what I'm doing

okay hey

uh you know I I was just thinking about

it I I still don't know your

name yeah I'd prefer to keep it that way

Teddy ah come on man

let's move

hey what's up you got any

gum uh yeah I I think in the club box

let me oh no [ __ ] way

what I totally forgot this was in here

we should totally smoked it uh you don't

you don't seem too

excited yeah it's it's just just been a

while have you never smoked

before no it's just been a while dude

dude it's dude it's it's fine you don't

have to be embarrassed but like we

should totally smoke this like

I don't know I don't know come on I'm

fine I've driv high like a million

[ __ ] times uh dude come on like I

haven't seen a cop all [ __ ] night

we're good it'll help me [ __ ] stay up

you

know fine fine [ __ ] it fine fine my man

all right you're lighter

[ __ ] this is actually some pretty good

[ __ ] [ __ ] go easy on you this is some

good [ __ ] go

easy oh [ __ ] dude hit the window

[ __ ] what is the appeal with this you're

like five

minutes I'll take that Captain

Bogart you mind if I turn on the radio

right

going golden oldies this is Rick

Rochester how are we doing tonight

ladies and gentlemen hopefully staying

out of trouble no matter the case we're

here with you along for the ride with

more soothing sounds of the

60s you know I smoked grass for the

first time with my

cousin same cousin as the cigarette yeah

yeah he was horrible influence you're

paying

attention all right listen

got me there I remember I was like 15

and we were over for Thanksgiving and

[ __ ] classic story he [ __ ] he has

to go on a walk you know and I of course

I say yes and we're going and we're just

like walking around the neighborhood and

it gets like you know it's 5 minutes

it's 10 minutes it's 15 20 and in

between like 25 and 30 minutes I'm like

what what the hell are we even like

doing out here and

he puts on this [ __ ] like the huge

Grinch smile and he [ __ ] he pulls out

the biggest blun I've ever seen what's a

BL oh it's it's like a cigar paper with

like weed and you know weed roll into

it yeah uh maybe you can smoke one of

those

sometime yeah maybe yeah so we went to

this park by my house and there's this

huge [ __ ] baseball diamond setup in

and we go into the Dugout and this must

have been [ __ ] this tree must have

been grown on mars or something cuz it

was the smelliest [ __ ] [ __ ] I've ever

seen and he lights it and he he takes a

big old hit and you know it goes like

this it goes back and forth he hits it

he passes it to me and when he pass me

I'm

like it goes exactly like that

actually and you know when he's passing

to me my hands are like shaking and [ __ ]

and you know is yeah

and

um so what happened

next well after a while smoking we

realized we're running like 5 minutes

late to Thanksgiving dinner and in my

family that's that's the biggest [ __ ]

deal in the world they make like it's a

big thing so he's all like get up on

your feet Soldier type of thing and I'm

[ __ ] baked I'm I'm out of my [ __ ]

mind and that gets me wearing cuz you

know to get bomb and I'm thinking like

we're at the [ __ ] end here like I'm dead

I'm [ __ ] dead excuse

me Captain

Bogarts all right my

[Music]

B some good [ __ ] told you yeah I can't

believe you're

[ __ ] driving right

now well you did what you

have how is it how is it

it the story oh right right right um we

come crashing through the

door and everyone's looking at us

obviously like they all noticed and you

know know we just [ __ ] we just kind

of gingerly go get our food and go to

our seats and I'm just I I'm this is the

first time I'm high so I'm [ __ ] so

paranoid so I'm just I'm trying to focus

on the food and like just eat food and

shovel it into my mouth and I notice

that my mom is staring at me oh God yeah

I know she starts asking me like like

all these questions like like how's the

food like isn't it great that everyone's

here and I'm I'm [ __ ] I'm confused

cuz like you can't get anything past

this woman like nothing so I'm wondering

if she just hasn't quite noticed or

whatever and you know why why is she

bringing this up is you know when I'm

thinking to myself and finally [ __ ]

eventually she's like

Teddy and I [ __ ] I I I like look at

Grant and he's got the big [ __ ]

Grinch smile on his face and she's like

and she does again but like more Ser

she's like

Ted and I'm

like and I I just I [ __ ] I bring my

eyes up to her I [ __ ] I face the

music she's like

laughing she's like beside herself

something like she can't stop and I'm

like Mom what what's wrong Mom Mom and

she she can't [ __ ] stop laughing

she's beside herself she she literally

can't stop and and after a while she

like she collects herself she's

like first time and then everyone starts

dying

what yeah dude I don't know and like I

think my uncle laugh and even my grandma

did I don't know if they like they

planned all that with Grant or like they

just all got caught up in the moment but

like for that one moment everything felt

normal there wasn't me or her these

years of screaming and history it was it

was just us as a family simple

happy I I wish I knew how much I was

going to miss that feeling I wish I how

scarce a resource that would

become it's a nice story

yeah all this driving's got me thinking

about my folks

yeah yeah how so you guys do a lot of it

oh yeah every single week I you know

hours [ __ ] hours

I always [ __ ] hated it you

know

but

somehow this trip feels

different good

different yeah you know

nostalgic I wish

what happened with your

parents that one that were

young how young we talking

High School age is not

matter I remember my mom told me one

time that the first time she ever laid

eyes on my father she thought he was the

most beautiful creature she'd ever

seen he played LaCrosse or something

like that and uh she used to go every

single one of his

games and they lost that season the last

leg of the playoffs and my father was

walking towards his car cursing himself

when Mom went up to him and he

recognized her immediately that was

something she always used to bring

up so they started seeing each other

through that

summer and the next year and the next

and they were ravenously in love or so

Mom used to say you know and I'm sure

she exaggerated but I've seen the

[ __ ] pictures like that spark was

real at one point it it was there

did something

change no not for a few

years they went up to college

together two of them and it was right

around then that my father really

started making it hard on her you know

he develop attension for drinking and it

was always just a drink to many away

from like feeling up the [ __ ]

waitress you

know he was a [ __ ] pig

[ __ ]

pck this whole life

all all he did was

consume can I get

the yeah yeah sorry don't apologize I

going get this [ __ ]

out so they break up in

college no

I almost did though one night my mom had

had enough she walked in on my father

hooking up with some [ __ ] [ __ ] from

one of his classes and she told him

right there that they were [ __ ]

finished she walked

out sounds like it's probably the best

decision

yeah it would have

been what

happened what happened Teddy is that

human being's

are emotional stupid

[ __ ] monkeys what happened is that my

father chased her into the street

professing his love and his deep

admiration and he fell to his [ __ ]

knees and he asked her to marry

him

and she said

yes I

moved moved after that from the city to

the suburbs since

and for a few more years there all was

well you know that once all two dead

spark had become this raging [ __ ]

bonfire the pig kept his hands to

himself I would last

though

no Mom vomited one morning the shower

she was

pregnant was it their

plan maybe they talked about it in the

way that every married couple talks

about it no it was not their

plan it was the thing to

do yes

things quickly began to spiral after

that you know kids have this way I'm

just ruining [ __ ]

everything they froze up they stopped

talking to each other it got to the

point where my father was coming and

going at like complete [ __ ] random

and we never knew where he

was things got bad things got really

bad and one day

my mom had enough she calls him up on

the phone she says that she can't do

this anymore you know she doesn't

recogniz herself

anymore what did he

say he

said

okay he hung up the

phone he

moved about 3 hours away after that got

some cushy [ __ ] desk job started

[ __ ] this skank 10 years is Junior

and that was the worst period you know I

could have lived every single day of my

life never seen my [ __ ] father came

to my

mom she was always asking where I was or

who I was with and you know the [ __ ]

funny thing is I was never doing

anything but she just she just couldn't

believe me you know I think the

pig I think the pig took that part of

her win

then one

day Mom FES in the

kitchen it's fine right it happens to a

million people every single [ __ ] day

but just to be safe they take her in and

they start running some

tests they

find they found that she was sick that

she was really [ __ ] sick

but it's fine right they caught it early

and there all these [ __ ] things they

could do so they start plugging her full

of

tubes and

needles [ __ ] hair falls

out I'm with her every single day you

know that's the that's the one good

thing to come from this [ __ ]

abomination of a situation we get close

we get real close the way a mother and a

son should be

close and one

day that good thing just

becomes [ __ ] worst

thing because they sit her

down they say Hey you gave it your best

and fought real hard but it

just it wasn't

enough so here are some things we can

advise for you and here's some

hospice centers we think you should

contact you know the biggest [ __ ]

joke of the whole

situation my father that big

[ __ ] he ran as soon as we found out you

know it was just just like that he was

[ __ ] gone we never heard from him

again and it's not like

I expected anything else right

but God if there was ever a moment to be

proven [ __ ]

wrong what happened to your

mom

oh well she [ __ ] died I I know no I'm

sorry I just I meant I I [ __ ] I just

shut the [ __ ] out

what what happened

after what

happened I inherited a little bit of

money after the funeral wasn't much but

it was a little you know and I

started working odd jobs and

construction you know I got by I made

enough but it just kept getting Tighter

and [ __ ] tighter around my

chest and one day I woke up and I looked

at myself and I just I couldn't [ __ ]

do it anymore and so I I went and I told

him to quit [ __ ] I'm going home I'm

leaving and I did I came back and I

just sat around my place you know

whittling down my savings on

food I

just couldn't do it

anymore I know what you mean

man for what it's worth like I'm sorry

man

97.5 I don't know about all of you

listening out there but it's been a long

night for old Rick here in the studio

getting weary I won't lie to you but

I'll tell you [ __ ] happen there's

nothing more Awakening than the power of

music more golden oldies coming your way

uh hey man I heard that uh I got a

couple sandwiches in the trunk if you

want to like stop and eat you

know

no let's just keep going man I could I

just I could really use a break

look dude I'll [ __ ] I'll play by the

rules everything will go good like come

on all right man it's your call but good

breakfast sounds [ __ ] amazing right

now

[Music]

uh you know I was I I was talking about

it

earlier what's on your mind Teddy you

know you know [ __ ] has been [ __ ]

hard for me you know I I really truly

like relate to you in that sense [ __ ] is

hard for a lot of people Teddy you know

most people I I know I know I just

I I'm not trying to throw a [ __ ] pity

party I I just

do you ever feel [ __ ]

crazy one time in uh high school there

was this

girl there was this

girl her name was Sienna and I was I was

really [ __ ] in her you know she was

genuinely [ __ ] smart and funny and

she was so [ __ ] beautiful it was not

like [ __ ] everybody else you know

and I was I was scared [ __ ] shitless

because she was in this [ __ ] separate

Echelon than me so I get this [ __ ] I

get this little [ __ ] idea in my head

and you know it's [ __ ] it's cute it's

it's a little much maybe but it's what

did you do Teddy okay so

she she lived in the same neighborhood

as

me and I saw her walking home from

school every day while I was walking

home from school so I write this little

[ __ ] cringe little poem and I get

[ __ ] I get her [ __ ] flowers and candy

and

[ __ ] and all this [ __ ] and I [ __ ]

I I leave it at her door and I I [ __ ]

I walk away and you know I'm I'm

thinking to myself like you know you

[ __ ] you made your [ __ ] move man

worst thing she could say is [ __ ] no

right

wrong I [ __ ] I get to school the next

day and [ __ ] people are pointing at

me and they're [ __ ] laughing and

they're making all these [ __ ] faces

and I [ __ ] obviously I put it together

that she [ __ ] made this [ __ ] big

thing out of it but it's like 1,000%

worse because she goes to the [ __ ]

principal and she says these things like

[ __ ] totally inappropriate and

invasion of privacy and

[Applause]

creepy and they [ __ ] they call me in

there and they [ __ ] ask me all these

questions and there's [ __ ] guy

[ __ ] writing down everything I say

and [ __ ] that was that I just [ __ ] I

was [ __ ] suspended for 5 days and my

mom was mortified she just wanted to

[ __ ] talk about it with everybody she

you know every chance she got and my dad

was just [ __ ] he can barely process

what's [ __ ] happening and then I go

back to school and I'm like the [ __ ]

town creep I'm the joke of the [ __ ]

block and and [ __ ] it was already

hard enough [ __ ] finding people that

wanted to hang out with me you know that

it was already [ __ ] Rarity but you

know now

[ __ ] and I just [ __ ] sat in my

room and I [ __ ] rotted and I festered

and when I was a kid I had always

[ __ ]

feared that nobody was bothered by my

absence that nobody [ __ ] noticed when

I was gone and it [ __ ] sucked to find

out that was

true and it made me feel [ __ ] crazy

cuz I I could see why it a little bit

overbearing maybe assumptive even but

creepy

I I could have never [ __ ] seen that

from Like A Million Miles Away in that

[ __ ] crazy begin to rot [ __ ]

Fester it's so wrong it feels like there

are [ __ ] centipedes and roaches and

spiders in my [ __ ] brain and they're

chewing through

it I feel [ __ ] insane

[ __ ] man you never get used to

it

yep you boys having a good night good

morning I should

say how about

you sorry

yeah you know I find often it

this it always looks better after a

storm you know what I

mean I I guess

so what kind of weather makes you the

happiest I don't I don't

[ __ ] is that really true would you

[ __ ] mind we're in the middle of

something

here got it I can take a hint I'll leave

you boys to it

let me tell you a story

Teddy when I was

15 this girl came up to me and she

tapped me on my shoulder and she was

telling me that her friend was really

[ __ ] into me and her friend just so

happened to be one of the most popular

girls in the whole

school so I

remember I remember distinctly telling

her to [ __ ] off a couple times because I

was certain that she was lying to me

this was [ __ ] [ __ ] but she keeps

swearing to me up and down that this is

the truth that she's telling

me

truth so I go up to her friend later

that day and I ask her if she wants to

go see a movie with me later that

weekend and she

said

yes I go home that night and this is

[ __ ] stupid this is truly [ __ ]

stupid Teddy but I really start to care

you know I try on 50 different [ __ ]

outfits I styled my hair like I

I I really cared about

this what

happened well

we go and it's a nice time you know I'm

not thinking about every little [ __ ]

movement I make and I'm cracking jokes

even and I'm I'm loosening up I'm just

I'm I'm just enjoying myself you know

I'm

just I'm just having a good

time I'm walking her up to her door at

the end of the

night and I

ask I can kiss her m she said

no

no she said yes

really yes really so we

do and it's nice and I say I'd love to

see you again and she says that sounds

great and I walk away and I hear the

door close behind me

and I'm feeling things that I've never

felt before I mean this is Triumph This

is Victory this

is

happiness sounds that sounds [ __ ]

great

dude it

was then I get to school that next

Monday and I'm walking in my first class

when I get shoved from behind I hit the

[ __ ] ground and there's two or three

guys and they're kicking the [ __ ] out of

me and finally after a minute they

stopped and I get a look at him and it's

the ex-boyfriend of the girl that I had

just taken out of that [ __ ] weekend

right but he's singing a different tune

he's saying that I'm not going to get

the [ __ ] away with this and I need to

stay away from his [ __ ] girl and the

[ __ ] was he talking

about I have no

idea the third period I had a class with

the friend that had tapped me that had

started this whole [ __ ] thing so I

went up to her

I asked her what the [ __ ] was going on

and she turns white as ghost she tells

me to get the [ __ ] away from her and she

calls me

a she calls me a sexual

assaulter did

you

no look you can [ __ ] believe me or

not Teddy doesn't make a shred of

difference okay

what what happened what happened after

then I went to her

house and she was the only one there

luckily so I pounded I [ __ ] pounded

on the door until she opened and I

demanded that she tell me what the [ __ ]

was going

on and she closed me

in what did she say

she was honest with

me you know she told me the whole thing

was a [ __ ] lie it was all just a ruse

to make him jealous she was never

interested in me in the [ __ ] first

place and she said that she was

sorry and that she would tell everyone

the truth and she did and she did true

to her [ __ ] word she did

but when you say something like that

it's impossible to to just slap The

Quirk back on you know even when people

found out it didn't make a [ __ ]

difference because apparently I had a

Vibe so I was

just the rapist

kid and you want to know the biggest

[ __ ] joke of the whole thing the

biggest [ __ ] laugh of this whole

situation

Teddy I'm a

virgin I'm a [ __ ] virgin

and I I I don't understand what like why

you're telling me all this the point

Teddy is that people are going to let

you down constantly okay they lie they

cheat they

mislead why are you placing yourself in

this position of disappointment you know

hoping Beyond hopes that this time

around things will be

different they won't be well what's the

alternative then like [ __ ] shutting

everyone out [ __ ]

everyone I don't know you know maybe

it's [ __ ] ridiculous dude like you

have to talk to people you have to talk

to

people people don't talk to

me but but that can change

no

Insanity it's a vague term Teddy it's

gray and opaque and and confusing you

know by

Nature if you're going to waste your

time do it on something you can

control you should

eat before it gets stale

you know like I I could be your friend

you

know really yeah I mean I mean like

we're talking right now aren't

we

yeah I guess we are

hey I I'm

sorry think nothing of

it

Bill

what my

name spill

H hey

Bill yeah what's up Teddy uh can I ask

you

something sure go ahead uh

you believe in

God do

you yeah no sometimes I I I don't know I

guess that's why I do like the asking

about it what do you

think I think we are incredibly small

microcosm of whatever it is that's

actually going on uh you're thinking

like like Beyond yeah yeah I think if

there was to be a a God or some greater

power that thing would be so completely

incomprehensible to us there wouldn't be

any understanding in either direction or

at least it's really difficult to

imagine there would be I mean think

about an ant how many ants do you walk

by on a daily basis you know 100

thousand you look at them every single

one of them is marching they are

dedicated they have a sole purpose they

are on some level intelligent but

have you ever thought for a [ __ ]

moment in your life about trying to talk

to an

aunt oh that's [ __ ] stupid yeah

exactly that's exactly what I'm saying I

I can't imagine that's too dissimilar an

experience that would be had by a God or

whatever the [ __ ] you want to call it

trying to talk

to but like you don't think there'd be

any like crossover cuz like I you know

I've never talked to ants but like

they're pretty [ __ ] interesting to

watch well yeah yeah I mean how many

faiths say that exact same thing like

the Lord and His Infinite wi must be

watching us you know there are [ __ ]

verses about it really yeah yeah you

know the Lord Watches Over You the Lord

is the shade at your right hand the sun

will not harm you by day nor the Moon by

Night the Lord will protect your life

the Lord will watch your coming and

going now forever more oh wow I didn't

realize you were like religious

I'm not not particularly anyway well you

know that seemed like pretty

memorized

yeah who's mom's

favorite what was what was she

liked my

mom she went through a lot of [ __ ] in

her life you know she endured a lot and

I think there were times when

that [ __ ] she had to go

through would affect her

more she

was she was somehow the nicest person

I've ever met and the [ __ ] meanest

you know it just

depended like in my mother's stories

everyone was always the funniest version

of themselves but it was a double-edged

sword you know she

was she was always at the ends of

extremes her entire life positive

negative

loving

mistrusting she was

confused to the very end sad you know

but she had this Indescribable ineffable

quality to

her and she lived she [ __ ] lived to

her very last

day wow she sounds [ __ ] incredible

she

was what about your

dad I'd

rather it's difficult to think about

without getting [ __ ]

furious I know what you

mean you get angry dude like a [ __ ]

ridiculous now I know I know it sounds

like corny but like sometimes

legitimately all I can see is [ __ ]

red hate hatred and I just [ __ ] like

I can't I don't even know what I'm

saying you ever

disassociate what does that

mean it's hard to describe it it's like

it's like just trying to describe the

[ __ ] feeling of being hungry uh it's

like your Consciousness is taking the

passenger seat like like you're watching

your [ __ ] life go by on a [ __ ] TV

screen you know what I mean that make

sense

no Teddy to be honest with you I usually

feel pretty

[ __ ]

clearheaded [ __ ] exactly what I'm

[ __ ] talking about dude he doesn't

know I'm [ __ ] talking about hey hey

hey hey hey [ __ ] come on cool it cool

it I'm good yeah I'm good

uh did your mom have any other verses

she liked like like comforting

ones yeah yeah there are a couple more I

can remember oh the Lord him the Lord

himself goes before you and will be with

you he will never leave

you or forsake you do not be

afraid do not be

discouraged ah so you got like another

one I walk

through the

darkest Valley

I will

fear no

evil for you are with

me it's a little hazy after that yeah it

it helped me thank

you we're we're getting pretty close now

huh yeah hey man we've been pretty

[ __ ] gloomy for a minute you got any

stories that are like

light uh I don't know come on man

there's got to be [ __ ]

something yeah there's

something yeah well [ __ ] spin me a

yarn

sir okay okay so I was uh was about

pen how was it recess and there was this

little [ __ ]

kid Aiden oh my [ __ ] God I can't

believe I remembered that his name was

Aiden [ __ ] it

okay so Aiden is on the

swings and I want to be on the swings oh

I I see exactly where this [ __ ]

story's going right so I go up to him

and I say something like get the [ __ ]

off the

swings he says

something he says something [ __ ]

stupid he says he says Bill don't

please oh my God I'm like [ __ ] you and I

push him off the swings

and he goes run into the [ __ ] teer

and he did dude he get all these [ __ ]

stitches in his head he looked like such

a [ __ ] freak look like a monster dude

oh [ __ ] oh it's so good yeah Bill good

good stuff yeah

what no man it was good

man I come on I I liked it I thought it

was pretty good I I did too I I I liked

it I liked

it take a left up here come on man like

talk to me come on we drive

Teddy you can [ __ ] talk to me man

just drive

Park up

here walk the

[Music]

trail e

all right all

right this is good

okay what the [ __ ] are we doing

here okay listen Bill Bill listen I'll

[ __ ] forget I'll [ __ ] I'll keep my

mouth

shut

Teddy you know my name you've you've

seen my face you can ID me from 50

[ __ ] miles away yeah but I I [ __ ]

won't I'll [ __ ] I'll [ __ ] forget

all of this I'll [ __ ] I'll keep my

mouth

shut bill

please do you even have a [ __ ] friend

out

here oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my

God oh my God oh my God why is this

happening why is this

happening it just does why did you just

do this while I was taking a

piss

smoking [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ]

you hey hey don't [ __ ] put all this

[ __ ] on me Teddy all right you could

have [ __ ] driven

away you were just sitting there the car

was running and you could have [ __ ]

driven away but you

didn't why ask yourself that some part

of you knew this was inevitable that's

[ __ ] [ __ ] Bill you said it didn't

have to be yeah you made it inevitable

that's such [ __ ] [ __ ] I don't

want to die bill I don't want to [ __ ]

die

what what you're so [ __ ] confusing

Teddy what the [ __ ] are you even talking

about I'm talking about the fact that

you spent every single [ __ ] second we

are together bemoaning your own life

bitching about how [ __ ] hard you have

it yeah but it's mine bill it's [ __ ]

mine I just can't believe you didn't

realize this is where this was going I

mean I knew this is what was going to

happen the second we left

what like when we left the [ __ ]

neighborhood

no when we left the

motel thought we were [ __ ] friends I

thought we were [ __ ]

talk something I thought we were [ __ ]

something I don't know what you want

from me Teddy I don't have any

friends you know

that have one more smoke

sure does it feel like to [ __ ] kill

someone

bill to make you feel [ __ ]

powerful big [ __ ] man huh

something tells me that's not the

[ __ ] case Bill something tells me

you're [ __ ] scared because you

[ __ ] know that there's no place for

you in this [ __ ] world really yeah

big [ __ ] talk Teddy

maybe

Teddy give me the lighter back know why

your [ __ ] dad walked down on you Bill

shut up Tedy you really want to [ __ ]

know shut the [ __ ] up Tedy I'm serious

figed out as soon as you told me your

little [ __ ] story Teddy I swear to

God if you don't shut the [ __ ] up I

cannot believe you didn't figure it out

shut the [ __ ] up follow [ __ ] shut the

[ __ ] up bullet trigger you coward piece

of

[ __ ] you really want to [ __ ]

know tell me

he

walked oh because you are [ __ ]

monstrous vile piece of [ __ ] dog

[ __ ] you think you're this [ __ ]

genius you got all the [ __ ] answers

you got it all figured out you're a

goddamn [ __ ]

idiot park at the end of the street we

were surrounded by [ __ ] houses what

the [ __ ] were you thinking what the [ __ ]

is wrong with you

he walked because he couldn't [ __ ]

live knowing that he was your [ __ ]

Creator here your [ __ ] life was

impossible without

him your mom [ __ ] knew it too she

felt the same [ __ ] way you're a

[ __ ] villain you're an insect you're

[ __ ] nothing Bill you're nothing

you're Speck

very

good really good stuff Teddy I mean that

Mom stuff towards the end you almost had

me [ __ ] choked up over

here you just don't get it

kid the world doesn't work in Concepts

like that there is no good guy there is

no bad guy there's no [ __ ] objective

experience you lived your life Teddy

focusing on being polite getting there

on time it's a [ __ ] waste of time I

prioritized different

things I lived a different [ __ ] life

I built myself up from the [ __ ]

ground I planned and I planned

well you really want to know you really

want to know what it feels like Petty I

don't think you could begin to

imagine because that would have required

you to understand what it feels like to

take a [ __ ]

risk and you're completely in capable do

you know there was not a single moment

tonight that I was worried you might say

something to somebody or go running off

do you want to know why do you want to

[ __ ] know why because you do what

you're told Teddy like a lap dog which

is why I

am confident I am [ __ ] confident

Teddy when I tell you to give me back

the [ __ ]

lighter okay

what the [ __ ]

ah

for for

that's just about going to have to do it

for the night folks good morning you all

it's a new day full of New Bright

opportunities all you got to do is reach

out and grab them for Golden oldies I've

been Rick Rochester have a beautiful day

take

[Music]

I've

[Music]

her Goode

[Music]

take

goodby goodby

through

the

goodbye

every for

[Music]

[Applause]

only

memory

remain

Through the Ages I

remember

Blue Eyes Crying in

rain now my heart has turned to Silver i

w

all my life been in

vain I Will

Always

Forever

Blue I crying in

L

somay when we meet

[Music]

up we throw hand in hand

again in a land that know no

part I crying in

oh yeah blue I cry in

Rain

hi I'm John wesling and I'd just like to

take a moment before the curtain

officially calls to say thank you for

watching our movie you know there are a

million people I want to thank they say

it takes a village and that's true even

with a movie like this but I could talk

for hours about that right

now I really want to thank you for

watching our little picture I can only

hope we've entertained you and if not

we'll get them next time we'll be back

sooner than

later drive

safely and have a beautiful

evening good night

[Music]