Original subtitles

The nurse who was in charge of him was this person named Azuma Yukie-san.

- Yes. - Not so long after Fumiya was discharged,

for some reason, she suddenly went missing.

What?

You really intend to look for the assailant?

Yeah.

Can I help you with it?

The criminal who killed my mother committed suicide.

My father and I couldn't have any place to vent our emotions.

That's why, I would like to be of help, even just a little...

Hello. Ah, sorry for interrupting.

- I'm so sorry. - Good evening.

Good evening.

Give me a break already. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

You think tomorrow will come?

Do you know why tomorrow would come?

You are really a murderer.

What is my name? Tell me what my name is.

Amamiya Kenji.

That's right. Don't forget it.

If you forget, I will leave you behind in this dark place.

Do you understand?

Then, shall we insist...

...and ask him to let the two of us stay over?

Ah, yes.

Toyama-san and Fukami-san have known each other for a long time?

Oh, yes.

- Since we were small. - So, you two are childhood friends?

Which means, you two know everything about each other?

- I guess you're right. - Ah, right. Yes.

Then, about the assailant too?

He was your classmate, wasn't he?

- Toyama-san was only a primary school student then. - I was.

Actually...

...are you two dating each other?

Ah, are you alright?

- That's not the case at all. - Definitely not.

[To Otou-san.] [Don't worry. I'm fine.] [I'll come back tomorrow.]

- Toyama-san. - Yes?

Perhaps you've realized how I feel already.

Shall I turn off the light?

You also feel the same way as I do, right Toyama-san?

I'll turn off the light.

Saho-chan.

You went out with Ken-chan last night?

Oh, he accompanied me to the pachinko parlor.

Ken-chan plays pachinko?

The fellow who was here before used to go there a lot.

- Where's Kenji-san? - He went to Tokyo for a delivery.

Ah, I see.

It was left in the washroom.

Sure. I'll bring it next week when I go to Tokyo.

Yes. Thank you. Please take care.

- "Please take care." - Sorry?

Nothing. Maybe I should go to Tokyo too.

It's 10 o'clock already.

I'm so sorry. I couldn't sleep well yesterday.

Yesterday, why did you come here at that hour?

Thank you for the food.

"Even so, we'll be living on"

Episode 5: Seeking his whereabouts

Translation and fine timing by yuizaki_libra@livejournal

Is there any chance I could meet your mother?

Please let me make my 15-year-late apology to her.

How about Fumiya?

- I will definitely look for Fumiya. - How are you gonna do that?

There was a hyuga-natsu in front of my house.

Oh, that.

He was delivering the fruit before when I saw him.

I will try to looking through farms that cultivate hyuga-natsu.

I'll take him back home immediately upon finding out his whereabouts, and make him atone for his crime.

This is Fumiya's drawing my father found.

May I?

It's not shortly after the incident.

He drew this right before he was released from the juvenile institution.

Fumiya hasn't reflected on his action at all.

- Futaba. - Seems that she couldn't sleep yesterday.

- Did something happen? - Ah, well...

Ah...

Otou-san.

- What? You were awake? - Yeah, I was just dozing off.

- Let's go home. - Yeah.

I'm sorry, Futaba.

But she is the only one mother you have.

- Since when? - Since you were 1 years old.

- You remarried? - Yeah.

I see. Since I was 1, of course I can't remember anything.

Yeah.

So Onii-chan was 5 years old huh?

I wonder if Onii-chan remembered? That his mother changed.

He did.

I see. Did he say anything?

But Okaa-san really treated you and Fumiya...

...as her real children... - Can I ask you one thing?

What?

The person who gave birth to me and Onii-chan... Is she still alive? Or is she dead?

She passed away.

- Do you have her photos? - None.

Is there anything associated with her?

The furisode* you wore on your coming-of-age ceremony. (*long-sleeved kimono)

So that's the one.

Okaa-san went to pick it up for you.

Okaa-san! Onee-chan's back!

- Welcome back. - I'm home.

Meal's fixed. Go wash your hands.

Okay.

Is the shop doing well?

It can't be doing well. It's not the season now anyway.

Hiroki isn't suitable for service business.

- Then what's suitable for him? - He was pretty good at molding clay.

Oh, ceramic art? Isn't that nice?

Please teach me some time.

- I have something to talk to you. - What is it?

Onii-san has something to tell Okaa-san.

I know. That's why I ask him.

Say, can you rub my shoulder?

- Shoulders? - Yeah.

You can't make it for a massagist either huh?

- Yes. - Ah, this part, this part.

Yeah, there, there.

What is it?

Misaki-san wants to meet you.

Hm, a little bit to the left.

- Yeah, there, there. - He wants to meet and apologize to you.

You can be pretty good if you try huh?

- Are you listening to me? - Oh, sorry. I wasn't.

- Misaki-san... - I don't want to see him.

Ah, I see. Then I'll turn him down.

Okay.

What? You're tired already?

Sorry. But why don't you meet him?

- Why not meet him? - Why should I?

If you have something you want to say to him, just tell him.

If you want to hit him, just hit him.

If you see him and talk to him, maybe we can have a chance.

- Wh-what chance? - How should I put it...

Like, time may be able to start flowing again for you...

- I detest him so much I can kill him, you know? - I know. I know, but...

...I want you to be happy, Okaa-san.

Kaa-san, your bath's ready.

Ah, I will take it later.

You bought some bath additives, right? Where are...

We are... we are talking now.

- Don't make a fool out of me. - Kouhei.

Kaa-san is happy.

She has her grandchild, my wife, and me.

Everyone's living happily here.

Everything was built by me. Everything was built by me.

- Can you not break it? - Enough, enough.

Enough. I'll take a bath now.

Take it quickly. You bought a ticket to go for Hakonenoyu*? (*a hot spring in Hakone)

You said it looked really warm and nice.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

Thinking about Futaba?

Thinking about Fumiya?

Maybe we should have parted from each other.

Or, if we had done that sooner,

at least Akari and you would be leading a different life.

That's sneaky.

I have never once doubted my own way of life.

I don't regret marrying you,

or becoming Futaba and Fumiya's mother.

I still remember it now.

The first time I held Futaba's hand.

She grasped my hand back, tightly.

I wonder why. "Why could such a small baby..."

"...have so much strength?"

I thought...

...it must be because she cannot live alone...

...and that... I have to protect her.

But you know, Fumiya was the only one...

He was the only one who didn't grasp my hand till the end.

When I first started working at that juvenile corrective institution,

it was right before his discharge.

That's why I didn't see him much.

I found this drawing while cleaning up...

...and just took it as a memory.

- Memory? - He was quite popular, you know.

He kinda resembles you. Hm.

How about the Azuma Yukie-san whom you talked about on the phone the other day?

It's just a rumor, but people were saying that the two of them were dating.

Sorry. That sort of thing is possible within the institution?

I don't know about that, but they are a man and a woman anyway.

It's just a rumor.

How about the fact that she went missing at the same time as the assailant's discharge?

She left the door unlocked,

making it look like she just went out to throw the garbage, then she just disappeared.

It happened 8 years ago, so Yukie-san must about around 30 years old now.

I'll contact Yukie-san's family...

...and ask whether we can meet them.

Ah, thank you for always helping me.

Also, let's think about the lawsuit.

- Lawsuit? - Against the assailant's family.

- Let's not. - Why?

The assailant's family has responsibility to bear.

I don't need that.

Sorry.

This.

That's Toyama-san, right?

Why...

...would you associate with the family of the assailant who killed your sister?

Excuse me.

What...

Oh...

Ah, sorry. Please continue sleeping, just like that.

- Just like that... - Ah...

- What time is it now? - Around 10 or 10:15.

I have to make a phone call.

- Ah! Go- go ahead. Please call. - Never mind. It's late already.

No, I think you should make the call.

10 o'clock is not that late anyway.

Maybe it's her time to take a bath.

Please don't imagine that indecent sort of thing. You should just be normal.

I don't imagine anything indecent.

Well, but you look kinda shy.

No. Now that you say it, I do feel that a bit, but just now I didn't imagine anything.

So you're imagining now?

Imagining someone taking a bath is indecent?

Everyone takes a bath right? Then tell me.

Toyama-san, you don't take a bath?

Eh? Fukami-san, now you're imagining I'm taking a bath...

I'm not.

- Why are you going away? - I'm gonna fix dinner.

- You eat this every time? - Yeah.

Oh, if you can go out at this hour, I'll wait for your at the bar.

- The bar? - I'm working part-time at a bar.

- Part-time? How much is your pay? - 900 yen.

- That's pretty good money right? - I was lucky.

- Why don't you buy something? - Oh, maybe I should.

Shouldn't you buy some clothes?

Eh? Am I wearing something- something weird?

- Speaking of which... - My clothes look weird?

- I went to Tokyo today. - Yes.

Everyone was really fashionable.

There weren't many people like us around.

Oh. This is perfectly enough for me.

This is perfectly enough for me too.

Ah then, let's just say...

...you can change something about yourself, what would you change?

Eh? I wonder what... Eh? What should I change?

The conversation's getting kinda interesting, don't you think?

Why are you getting all excited?

Then, Fukami-san first.

- Me? - Yes.

I... Just a small thing is fine too, right?

You've decided already?

"Wanna go for karaoke?"

...I want to try saying that to others.

Don't you think... that's too small a thing?

It's not.

Mine is pretty big you know. Maybe it'll surprise you.

Go ahead.

I want to be able to bend a spoon.

Don't you think that's pretty amazing?

The issue with this is not whether it's big or small, you know?

But it made you startled right?

It's impossible.

- Eh? Why are you eating ramen? - Because it's gonna grow stale.

No. Um, someone who cares about whether ramen's grown stale...

...when someone else's talking about his or her dreams won't be well-liked.

- It's not like I want to be well-liked anyway. - Oh.

Things will go well eventually.

The spoon thing is impossible though.

Many things will happen, and there may be painful things along the way,

but everything will go well eventually.

Huh...

You heard about my mother?

Ah... I was thinking why you are so kind to day. So that's why.

It's been a long time since you ate ramen too.

It's always been like this.

It's nice to always have this.

Then I will keep things like this, always.

Sorry. Can you say it one more time?

It's fine if you say it while eating ramen.

Please say what you just said one more time.

Things will go well, Toyama-san.

Because you've been trying so hard.

That's so kind of you.

No problem.

Is that room the other day fine with you?

- Is that all right? - It's already the third time anyway.

Thank you.

- I'll go prepare the mattress. - Yes.

That's Toyama-san, right?

Why would you associate with the family of the assailant who killed your sister?

Onee-chan? What are you doing?

Otou-san is looking for you. Okaa-san too.

Where are you now, Onee-chan?

Oh, I'm at my friend's house.

Really, really. Tell them not to worry.

Okay. Ah, wait, wait a second.

- You know, Onee-chan... - What?

Wanna go to Disneyland some time?

Disneyland?

Our family has never gone there right?

You see, there's always that reason.

You're right.

Sorry. I kept it a secret and went with my friends last year.

I see.

Though I always wanted to go together with you, Onee-chan,

I went with my friends.

It's fine, it's fine. What? You're bothered about that?

- I want to go there with our family. - Me too.

- Let's go, okay? - Yeah, let's go.

Then, I'm hanging up.

- Onee-chan! - Hm?

Nothing. I just wanted to call you.

- Akari. - What?

I just wanted to call you.

Good night.

- We'll come again. - Thank you so much.

Yes. Oh. Who?

She hasn't come. Really.

Kaa-san's missing?

[Social welfare foundation] [Special nursing home]

Obaa-chan, it's Futaba. Futaba's here. Can you tell it's me?

Goldfish. Amazing.

Did you fold them, Obaa-chan? Or the people here folded them for you?

Say, can I stay over at your place?

Futaba is tired already.

It's gonna be fine. Okaa-san is gonna be all right.

If anything happens to Kaa-san, how are you gonna take responsibility for that?

You came all the way here just to say this and that and disturb her.

If you know how Kaa-san has been living for the last 15 years,

you won't be able to say those things so easily, right?

Shouldn't you support her so that she can gradually...

...become able to live positively? - Kouhei-kun.

I'm sorry. Say something.

Why are you keeping quiet? Huh?

Even if you ask him, there's nothing he can do.

I'm sorry.

- Let's call the police. - Yes.

Just go back already.

- I'm home. - Where did you go?

Ah, sorry.

- I have something to talk to you. - Oh, what is it?

What? What is it? Say, what is it you want to talk?

Do you know how worried we were?

We were just about to ask for a search request.

Where did you go?

Aki's place.

I went to the place where Aki died.

I went to the place where Aki was killed.

I went back home after 15 years.

The house where our family used to live together.

I waited until it was half past 12, and set out.

I took the same route at the same time as Aki did that day.

I could hear the chime from her primary school.

I wondered what Aki's friends could be doing right now.

I wonder if they have forgotten all about Aki.

Or if it's still a fearful memory for them?

While thinking all that, I crossed the bridge.

At the corner where there was a laundry shop, the road separated into two turns.

That day, Aki wanted to go to the park,

and she could have taken either turn.

Normally Aki would have taken the road where there was Ojizou-san* statue. (*Jizou: Japanese Buddhist figure who is believed to be guardian of children)

But that day, she took the road where there was a post office...

...because there were lots of cars on the road that has Ojizou-san.

It was me who told her to take the road with the office post. It was me who told her.

While taking that road, Aki...

...met that young boy who had a hammer.

There was a big lily magnolia tree,

and the cicada was buzzing.

There I was, for some reason... For some reason...

...I could see this big pitfall of my life.

15 years has passed since that incident. Right now if someone looks at me,

maybe he can see that I'm very much composed and calm.

But, the truth can't be more different.

I live, wishing that...

...if only everyone went through the same terrible thing that I did.

That's how I've been living all this while.

When someone is kind to me,

"What exactly do you know?", I would think.

Seeing parents taking their children out,

I would feel very unpleasant.

When someone tells me to live positively,

I would feel suicidal.

I'm sorry. This is the kind of human being I have always been.

"Ah, this can't go on, this can't go on. Love others. Live positively."

I would tell myself so, but 5 minutes later I would wish if only everyone just died.

I'm sorry.

If a mother has her child taken away,

perhaps she doesn't just cease to be a mother,

but she ceases to be human.

While wandering in the forest,

I thought I was going to die today...

...without anyone knowing.

On the other side of the forest, I could see the ground shining blue.

"Ah, over there? Over there? Over that side?"

"Aki is there." With that thought I rushed over.

"Ah, sorry, Aki. I'm sorry, Aki."

"Sorry I couldn't come all this while."

"You waited right? You have waited for really long, right?"

There I thought if I saw Aki in my dream, I would just varnish and die.

But the person... who appeared in my dream...

...was that young boy.

I asked him "What did Aki do?"

"What exactly- what exactly did Aki do wrong?"

The young boy heard me, but he didn't say anything.

He just stared at me.

And that was when I realized something.

"Ah, this kid... this kid is just the same human being I am."

"...someone who ceased to be human."

"Ah, I have to wake up," I thought.

"If I just die this way, Aki will feel sad. Aki will detest me."

Thinking that, I felt the urge to live, for the first time.

I had to leave to live for Aki as well.

When I woke up,

I washed my face times and times over with the water from the lake.

In the past, when Aki was killed,

different people said many different things.

Like it was because of the times, the education,

and the darkness in that boy's heart, or the Juvenile Law and so on.

They said that we should find out what could have been the cause for everything.

They said that no matter what was done, time couldn't go back anymore.

I didn't understand what they were saying.

I didn't understand. I didn't understand any of that.

That's why I thought...I thought it was because I left her by herself...

...that Aki... Aki died.

Because I asked her to take another road, because I allowed her to wear a short skirt,

Aki died.

Just like that, I didn't think about that boy at all.

But... but...

...that's not it. That's not it.

I am not just anybody.

I am... I am not a reporter from some newspaper.

I am not a teacher at some respected university.

I am just her mother. I don't need any reason.

I am... I am just her mother.

There is only one thing I want to say.

There is always only one thing I want to say. There's only one.

"Give- give Aki back to me."

"Give Aki back."

"Give Aki back."

There was that only one thing I wanted to say.

I will go and meet that boy.

When I meet him, I'll have him return Aki to me.

Even if you ask him that...

Thanks for everything you've done for me, Kouhei.

Thanks for always worrying about me. Thank you so much.

Thank you for having taken care of me till today.

There are no words I could say to thank you for all the kindness you've showed me.

Hold on a second, Kyoko-san.

- You are leaving? - I can't...

...bother you any longer.

It's no bother at all. What are you planning to do?

Yuka-san. Thank you very much.

- Raise Ryota-kun so that he's always healthy. - Okaa-san...

Say, what?

Hey, what are you saying? I don't get what you mean!

Really, really thank you so very much.

Let's go, Hiroki.

Thank you for having taken care of her.

I'll live with my mother.

Will Otou-san hate me? After all this time...

He won't.

- Don't you think there's a smell of mold? - I'm gonna clean up now.

- Shall we take turns to cook? - You aren't cooking for me?

- What are you saying? How old are you already? - Eh?

That's the reason why I let you stay, though.

What?

- You're shy, right? - Are you an idiot?

Coming.

- Onii-chan? - Yeah, Futaba.

Onii-chan.

Futaba.

Want to come with me?