Original subtitles

I didn't know our sessions would be recorded.

I was thinking that we might do a little exercise.

Are you sure this is okay?

That was one for the books.

[knocking]

Uh, come in.

Hi.

I'm Ryan.

I'm Alexia.

Nice to meet you. Have a seat.

Sure.

Okay.

Okay, so let me just start out by telling you a little bit about myself and my practice here.

I have been in psychology and therapy for,

I've been practicing at this office for the last four years.

I mainly see a wide variety of clientele.

Basically dealing with the people who have issues that are not that severe,

but just things that are stopping positive progress in their life.

We just kind of talk through things.

This first session that we'll do,

basically just kind of get a base foundation of you and your life.

I want you to tell me some things that,

I don't want to say problems you're having,

but things that feel like problems to you.

Then we'll kind of, I'll take some notes on it.

Just so you know, I film all of my patient sessions.

It helps both of us really be able to,

me to go back when I'm,

sometimes when you're in the middle of something,

you don't remember everything as well.

So when I'm at home and I'm able to kind of replay things

and maybe pick up something that I didn't notice the first time.

For you, sometimes actually I've had a few clients who actually,

we'll watch the videos from their previous sessions

and they see the difference from when they began the process.

So that's very helpful.

That's what that's all about.

Do you mind me asking how you found out about myself and the practice here?

I was actually just online, Googling like the best therapist we could find around town.

Okay.

So, and your name showed up.

Okay. That's great.

Now, are you from, are you local here?

Did you just move here or are you from the area?

Sorry about that.

Let me just get organized here for a second.

My secretary, she did a very poor job of organizing my notes for me.

That's okay. I have something I'll talk to her about.

Okay. Sorry to hear that.

That's okay.

Let me just put that over there.

Okay. So you just moved to town a year ago?

Just a year ago.

Now, were you living in the state or is it a completely different atmosphere and lifestyle to you than what you had been used to?

So this is more the city. I mean, I came from Nevada.

Okay.

So it's more quieter, more calming out there.

Okay.

So it's pretty different.

Did you feel more yourself and at ease there or in this new situation is that, I guess, some of the problems that you've, one of the reasons why you're here.

Like, is that kind of a new development since the move or is it issues that you've been having, that you feel you've been having for a longer period of time?

Yeah, I definitely.

Okay. Go ahead. Come listen.

Yeah. And I don't know. I just feel like ever since I moved here, like I haven't had many friends out here.

You know, I haven't had much people to talk to and they're just always working all the time.

Okay. So your friends that you have back where you were living, you still keep in touch with them?

Yeah. Sometimes we text. Sometimes we call each other.

But you don't like in person?

No.

No. Okay.

Not since I moved here.

Okay. Well, I'm going to just go ahead just before we get too much basic information here.

Why don't you tell me what exactly it is that is frustrating to you right now?

Like, what is it that's the problem that you're trying to get through?

I think something you have to consider is it's very difficult to be an adult and it comes with responsibilities.

Right? Huge responsibilities.

And so you kind of think that just my initial thought is a little the sort of thought process that, well, everybody should cater to everything that's going on in your world, in your life.

And you need to realize that they have, like you said, jobs. They work very hard. They weren't doing that.

You know what they're trying to provide for you. You said you still live with them. I'm guessing they pay for your meals and that sort of thing.

So you need to realize that they're doing the best they can and that not everything in their world revolves around you.

They can still love you, but not everything revolves around you. You know, they've got a lot on their table.

Now I have a shitty car.

Right. Well, I think you should be thankful that your parents got you a car at all.

I'm guessing if blaming your car and you're blaming the car and you're blaming your parents for buying you the car.

Yeah, but it's like a 2019 Toyota car and it's 2021. They need to get with the program. It's not even funny. Like that's so old.

That's OK. Well, listen, I'm not going to obviously we're not going to debate the status of your car or or anything like that.

But just so you know, most people in the world, a two year old vehicle is not that old.

It's definitely not something that should be upsetting you or, you know, upsetting your life.

Like there's you need a car like some people. I'm guessing you have friends. Do all your friends have cars?

Yeah, they have like nice beamers. They have nice Bentley's, everything like that.

It's like, why can't they just get me something like that instead of this old piece of trash?

Well, I don't think a car that's two years old is a piece of trash.

2019.

Like I said, I'm just I'm seeing some and this obviously happens with younger people is entitlement and a sense that you're owed the best of everything all the time.

And that's not realistic. Your parents getting you a car at all is a great thing.

If they they were buying you a brand new car, you know, it's not necessarily a realistic situation for the real world.

They're actually helping to prepare you for what you're going to be facing, which is obstacles and not always having exactly everything you want at your fingertips all the time.

You have to learn patience and you have to understand that that work comes along with success and things that you want.

I mean, I guess that's true. And then that's why I came in here because I just couldn't figure that out myself.

I just think they're just treating me like shit for like whatever reason they have.

And do you feel so you said you have two siblings?

Yeah.

So how do you feel like they treat your siblings?

They're super nice with them. They give them everything that they want, which is what I don't get.

Like if they want a new car, like a brand new car, like a newer car, like a 2021 car.

Like my sister just got a new car. They would give that to her.

No problem. When I ask for something, they're super blown out by it.

I'm sorry, what's that?

Super blown out by it. Like they don't want to do it. They don't want to do anything for me.

Well, I think that you need to realize that they're doing the best that they can.

And there are times when they're going to do things for, you know, a sibling that may seem like they don't do that for you.

But that that's part of psychologically getting caught up in the moment and not seeing the bigger picture.

And the bigger picture is things probably, you know, there have been lots of studies done.

I did an entire thesis on family psychology and this sort of thing.

And a lot of times. Everything is most of the time equal.

There's equal treatment. So if you are thinking to yourself that it's not equal, that it's biased towards, you know.

A sibling, then you're probably just dealing with, again, like that ego, which is just focusing on what's happening to you.

And how is how is what's happening to that person affecting me? Right.

And that really that does not actually affect you. What happens to you affects you.

But saying what happens, somebody else is affecting you or affecting how you're viewing the situation.

Again, that's one of the reasons one of the things we'll talk through and through these sessions and get through is you have to put the ego aside.

Do you have do you have a boyfriend or someone you're seeing?

No, I'm actually single right now.

OK. Yeah. My boyfriend and I broke up like months ago, like five months ago.

Was that your decision or his or?

It was more my decision because he was super controllive, like he would always control what I would wear, where I would go, what I would do, who would I would talk to, everything.

He would even want to check my phone. And he was just so annoying, super controlling.

And there was nothing you were doing. It's basically all his.

No, I mean, no, it's just all him.

Like, honestly, I had no issues. I was such a good girlfriend, you know, like I never did any of that stuff to him.

I never was controllive. I didn't give a fuck, you know, like what he did, like how he cared about what I was doing.

And that's so annoying. Like, well, I think that he was just showing a lot of interest in you.

But how long were you together?

We were together for about.

Maybe about six months.

Do you normally have short relationships like that?

Yeah, they never go beyond a year. It's always them, like I'm telling you, I always.

It's always them. It's always their fault.

Yeah, it's always their fault. Always getting super controllive boyfriends.

They're super. I just cannot deal with them. It just never lasts more than a year.

So hopefully I can find someone.

Yeah. What about your your your.

You said you had friends back in the town you had been living in.

What about their lives or in relation to yours and your happiness?

Well, see, some of my friends get super pissed off because they say I never have the time for them.

Like I see them once a month or maybe once every other month.

Isn't that enough? And they were like, how come we can't go out for like lunch or for like something on the weekends?

Like it always has to be on a day that you're free and you're available.

And I'm like, well, because that's the day I'm free and I'm available.

What's the issue? Right.

It's so dumb.

So is it is it them always coming up to visit you or do you go over to them?

Oh, no, they live way too far now. So I always have them come to me.

OK. Yeah. OK.

And they usually get a hotel somewhere.

Do you do you help with the cost of that since they're driving up?

No, I'll make food. But that's about it.

Yeah. OK. And do you are you in any sort of music or athletics or any sort of.

How and how long did you do that before you quit?

What, cheer? Yeah.

Did it feel like. Well, and you said you quit band as well, right?

You quit both. Yeah, I only lasted a day.

Oh, it was a day. OK.

Yeah, because he said they just couldn't handle my attitude.

I don't know what attitude they were talking about.

So, yeah, I was like the best one they had.

I put way more effort in a day than any of those people did.

OK, well, I mean, it's a little hard to find out if you're the best person in one day.

I know I was.

Everybody was just staring at me like I had some problems.

Actually, they were jealous of me. So. Oh, really? Yeah.

And so do you. So since you're not taking time with athletics or band, do you have a job?

I do, but they actually let me go like really recently, like a week ago.

OK. I was actually working at a coffee shop.

OK. And how long did you work there?

For a month. OK.

Only. OK. Just for a month.

And you said they.

Why did you let me ask you, why did you want to.

Why did you apply to a coffee shop? Why did you want that job?

I like their drinks a lot.

So I feel like on break I could like instead of having to pay for it, like I could just get them for free.

I feel like on my break. OK.

And it worked out way better. So that's just something I wanted. Plus I wanted money.

Yeah. Yeah. Who cares?

It really wasn't about anything but like money and getting free drinks.

Now, why did you need money to help with paying the bills for your parents or you know, why?

I have a lot of loans, like credit loans.

So I wanted to pay that off. I mean, I had no idea what I was doing with my credit card.

So I kind of maxed them out.

I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So wait, so you but you don't work there anymore.

I don't know what happened.

They let me go because I was like eating on my break, like all the foods that they had and they were getting pissed off.

You were eating their food, their food they sell.

Yeah. Like bakery items.

You didn't pay for them?

No, because I thought since I worked there, it's free.

Like at least somewhat free.

And they didn't, no, they just were like, we have to let you go.

This is like the fourth time you're doing this.

So, and so I'm guessing they had warned you before.

They warned me.

Why did you?

Because I didn't take them seriously.

I thought they were just joking, like you can't have any or something.

That's all I thought it was.

Yeah. They like, so let me go because they knew I was going to kill it in that job.

I was way better than anybody there.

So wait, so they let you go because...

They knew I was going to kill it in that job.

You knew I was going to do so well.

I mean, I was the best one anyways, so.

I don't understand why they would fire you if they thought you were the best.

Me either.

I was the only one doing way more than any other people there.

They just hated on me.

Just because you're, you and...

Because I'm so new and I did so good and other people had to be there for years and worked where I'm getting.

They saw that I was super successful in the job, so.

Yeah, they just caught me eating like off the bakery items and that was like the only way they wanted to let me go.

They're like, that's it. That's the final straw.

So they used that as like an excuse.

They used that as an excuse to let me go.

But it's only because they loved me. That's it.

They really thought I was going to do well.

Okay, so are you, have you applied to have another job?

Are you looking for another...

Yeah, I was looking for like another coffee shop job.

See how that works.

See if they have like other policies that I could work around with.

And people that probably don't hate on me as much.

Okay.

I really feel like ever since I moved here, everybody hates me.

Nobody likes me. Nobody wants to get along with me.

I can't keep anything going on for like longer than a day or two.

It's kind of annoying.

And you think that they like, they have it out for you?

Yeah, they do. Like ever since I moved here, they're like, fuck that new girl.

Like we're going to ruin things for her.

We're going to make everything super shitty for her.

And that's how I've been feeling. It sucks.

Why do you think that they're doing that?

Because they're envious of me.

They just like hate that I'm super pretty.

They hate that I'm super good at everything that I do.

So that's what I think it is.

I don't know what else their issue is.

What do you think?

I mean, I don't, I can't imagine entire town hating on you.

That doesn't seem very plausible.

They do. Jobs that I barely just started working in.

People that my parents now are turning on me.

It doesn't make any sense.

Like why is this all happening all at once towards me?

I just moved here. That's it.

Right, but I mean, you have been here a year.

It's not like, it's not like this is a, I would say maybe if you've been here a week

and you were having these emotions and feelings, possibly it would be attributed to the new move

and the, you know, feeling uneasy about the new environment.

But thinking about this way for like a year after you've lived here kind of makes me think

maybe it's something more to do with you and the way you view yourself and the way you view the situation.

No, I really feel like people are out to get me.

Like they just don't like me here in this town.

They want me to go back to my hometown.

They're so done with me.

Like, yeah, it's only been a year, right?

So it doesn't make any sense that like they would go after me.

I don't understand.

Yeah.

Like that's why I came here.

So, I mean, what are your solutions here?

You've just been sitting here staring at me and just kind of agreeing with everything I'm doing.

Well, I'm just, I'm allowing you time to talk.

Normally with sessions, that's what the patients need to do is vent and talk and work through their problems.

I can't.

No, I feel like you really, you really just don't believe me on anything I'm saying.

You probably agree with these people.

Like this girl's a nut job or something.

That's how you're looking at me as.

No, no, no, no, not at all.

So I do have something that I think specifically as I listen to you talk and describe your situation,

I have a method that's an exercise that I think you would definitely benefit from.

I think that it's something that is untraditional in method, but I think that it is something that would definitely benefit you.

But how are you certain that this is going to benefit?

Oh, I'm not, I'm not certain, but I'm confident.

I'm confident in that with your situation and your attitude and your mannerisms and what you're telling me that this particular exercise is something that we should, we should give it a try today.

And I do think we should try it today.

I don't think we should wait till the next session.

But it's something where you're going to feel uncomfortable.

You're going to feel a little uneasy, a little, uh, those sorts of feelings.

But that's, that's something that is one of your problems.

You just can't see it.

And so if we work through getting past that with this exercise, then that, that'll help you significantly.

So, I mean, are you sure this is the right situation for this?

Yeah, this is.

I'm not going to feel uncomfortable.

Well, this is the right, this is the right exercise for you.

There's really no doubt about that.

But I need you to commit to it because you're going to feel uncomfortable and you're not going to want to continue with things just like you do in life when you're quitting everything, your boyfriends or your jobs or band or whatever.

But I need you to commit before we start that when things do get uncomfortable, you're going to power through this exercise.

And I need you to commit to this.

You know, it's just one hour, you know, in this room that we have where we're talking.

I need you to just commit for that short amount of time and not turn back or, or run from the situation.

I mean, I guess.

Well, I don't want to say I guess.

It's a yes or no.

It's are you committed to it or not?

Do you want to get better?

Do you want to get past your situation or not?

I do, yes.

Okay.

I'm committed to this.

Okay, why don't you stand up for me?

Okay, just, just relax.

Just close your eyes.

Just let me move over here a little bit.

Just kind of right there.

Is this, is this part of?

Yes, we've already begun.

Okay.

I mean, do you need to be touching me like this?

Yes, I do actually because a lot of your attention is in your unease with yourself whether you realize it or not.

Relax your hands.

Okay.

Keep your eyes closed.

Just relax.

Do you think I'm dressing you like this?

I need you to be quiet.

I'm just going to let you see that you're going to be committed.

Okay.

Are you sure about this?

Yes, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Okay.

Interesting that you're not wearing anything else.

I usually never do.

Alright.

I'm not done.

Just sit here.

Sit down.

I want you to take this off for me.

All the way off?

Way off.

Okay.

Why don't you go ahead and lie back on that couch?

Uncross your legs.

Like this?

Mm-hmm.

You're going to be comfortable with who you are.

You need to stop running and quitting everything.

Okay.

Every time a situation gets close to you, you run away.

You think so?

What?

I didn't understand.

You just told me the case.

I like that I'm just laying back like this.

That's good.

Okay.

Are you sure I can touch this?

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to put this on.

Oh my gosh, yes, yes.

Why?

It feels good.

Yeah?

Oh my goodness.

Oh my gosh, you're making me really wet.

I can feel that.

Oh, that was funny.

Wow, you seem really good at this.

Oh my gosh, that feels good.

Oh my gosh, yes, yes.

Oh, perfect.

Oh, perfect.

Oh my gosh, it's getting really hot.

Yeah.

Oh, perfect.

Yes, yeah.

Oh, perfect.

Oh, you're making me wet.

Oh my gosh.

Oh.

Oh, perfect.

Good.

Please let me get a play with me.

I can't play with you.

Oh, yes.

Mm.

Done now?

No, no, no.

Stand up.

Would you go ahead and take that top off?

Go off?

Yeah.

Okay.

Carry your knees.

Mommy, is that okay?

You're okay.

Let me tuck your hair.

Have a little patience.

Nice and slow, just like that.

Okay.

Everything you do in life, you do it quickly.

Get through to the next thing.

Just nice and slow.

Mm-hmm.

Like that?

Like that, good.

Just follow the feeling.

This is fun.

Yeah?

It's really helping me too.

I need you to admit that sometimes you're bad.

You think so?

I need you to admit it.

I need you to say it.

I am pretty bad, I'm not going to lie to you.

Pretty naughty.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I can get really dirty sometimes.

Just sit up.

Just like that.

Just like that.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

A lot of pre-combing coming up.

Pre-combing, too.

Let's see, just kind of press it ahead of that comb.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Faster.

You're going really hard.

Yeah.

Do you like doing that?

I do.

Yeah?

It's pretty fun, it's just spit all over your cock.

Did I say you could do that?

No.

But you kind of want to, is that okay?

What do you want to do?

Suck your cock.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That's good.

Look at me.

Yeah.

Suck your cock.

Mm-hmm.

Let me suck it for you.

Just say you're bad again.

I'm super bad for you.

No, say you're bad.

I'm super bad.

Yeah.

I'm bad, bad.

I love sitting on my cat.

Keep stroking, keep stroking.

I love hearing that in your cock.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You like hearing that in my cock?

Yeah.

She says you like hard cocks.

Mm-hmm.

Like in love?

Yeah.

*laughs*

*moans*

*moans*

*moans*

*moans*

*moans*

[kissing]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

Oh, you're so nice and hot.

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

Except for the bad girl.

Mm-hmm.

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[kissing]

[spitting]

[spitting]

[spitting]

[spitting]

[spitting]

[spitting]

[spitting]

(moaning)

Stroke it.

(moaning)

Faster.

(moaning)

Yeah, just like that.

Yeah, just like that.

And your doll's just like,

slapping my hand.

(moaning)

(laughing)

Nice and hard.

(moaning)

(sighing)

(moaning)

Just tip.

(moaning)

(laughing)

(moaning)

(laughing)

(laughing)

(moaning)

You're gonna get fucked.

Yeah.

(moaning)

(moaning)

Oh my goodness, yes.

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

Hi.

So good.

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

[kissing]

Hi.

Oh.

So fucking good.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my goodness.

Oh.

Oh my god, your cock feels so good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[kissing]

Sorry.

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh my god, yes.

Yes.

Fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Fuck, fuck.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Kiss me.

Oh fuck, yes.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

It's okay, baby.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Can I cry on the side for you?

Mm-hmm.

Fuck yes.

Fuck.

Oh my god.

This is so fucking good.

Oh.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh baby.

Oh.

Oh.

So good.

Oh.

Oh.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, ... fuck,fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes.

Yes.

Spread my legs open for you.

Spread it open for your cock.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh my goodness.

Fuck.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh yes.

Oh.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

Baby.

Oh my god.

Oh fuck.

Oh my god.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh yes.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

You're gonna be good, you're gonna be in shape.

It's gonna be fine, yeah.

Fuck you, sweetie.

You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay.

Oh, you're so cute.

Fuck!

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

Oh my god.

Oh baby.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh yeah, make me watch it.

Make me watch it.

You're gonna cry.

You're gonna hurt me.

Oh.

It's fine.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah, just (.....).

Oh.

Bye.

Oh.

Oh my goodness.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Scream a little bit right there.

Scream a little bit just like that.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh.

Oh.

I think he is.

*sigh*

*sobbing*

Oh my god.

Oh fuck baby.

*sobbing*

*sobbing*

*sobbing*

Oh fuck fuck fuck.

*sobbing*

*sobbing*

*sobbing*

*sobbing*

Dance, dance, dance, ... dance,dance.

Oh, fuck.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's it.

Just relax.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Oh my god.

Mm.

You can look into my pussy.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Mm.

Oh.

Oh, stop, stop, stop.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh, there you go.

Oh, fuck yes.

Fuck!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Holy shit!

Oh, baby!

Oh, you know I...

Oh, God!

Please, please, please!

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

(moaning)

I'm gonna tell you nice and slow.

I told you not to rush anything, right?

Okay.

Yeah, you're right.

All right, here we go.

(smacking)

Oh, fuck.

Oh my goodness.

Are you bad?

Yeah, I'm really bad.

Say it again.

I'm super bad.

Say it again. - I'm so bad.

I'm such a bad girl.

Oh, fuck.

Oh my goodness.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

(moaning)

Oh, fuck.

(moaning)

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Fuck yes.

Oh my goodness.

That's not looking good.

Oh my.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck yes, yes, ... yes,yes.

Oh.

Fuck yes.

Oh, fucking fuck yes.

Give it to me, just take that.

Oh, fuck yes.

Fuck.

(moaning)

Oh, fuck.

Yes.

Bye.

Yes, yes, just take that.

Oh, fuck.

(moaning)

Fuck yes.

Fuck.

Fuck.

(moaning)

Holy fuck, yes.

Oh, oh my goodness.

I can't believe it.

(moaning)

(moaning)

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck yes.

Oh my God.

Oh yes, you're good.

Oh my God, give it to me, baby.

Yeah, I want you to give me all your gum, I'll take all your.

(moaning)

Oh my goodness.

Oh my God, that's so bad.

I'm gonna take your little pussy up from you.

Oh, fuck.

Mm-hmm.

Oh

It's a very very good first session

I'll see you back here next week

Now in between today and next week, I want you to be nice to people, give people a chance,

be open to being wrong.

Okay.

I'll do that.

Good.

Mm.

Go ahead and grab your stuff, and there's a bathroom in the hallway.

Okay.