Original subtitles

Joey, is everything okay

with the business?

Sure.

Why would you ask me a crazy question like that?

Joe! Joe! The plane is missing!

The plane is missing!

And why would the bank repossess our plane

if we've missed one lousy payment?

It wasn't just one.

Well, how many payments did we miss?

Three.

Well, why didn't you tell me we missed three payments?

All right, it was eight.

Eight?!

If we could just find a way

to pump a little cash into the airline

to get us on our feet again.

Right. We need a cash pumper.

Maybe I could find a financial broker.

You know, a guy who could

hook us up with some investors.

Right, we need a hooker.

Gentlemen, let's cut through the guano.

We all know the reason I'm here

is because you guys are in the dumper.

So, just... how much were you thinking of investing?

Gentlemen, I don't invest in companies.

I buy them.

Well, it looks like Clayton

just bought himself an airline.

Joe and Brian Hackett, this is my son Cord.

He's just out of school.

How you doing?

Cord's going to be running Sandpiper.

He's your new boss.

What qualifies you

to run this airline?

Okay, that's a good question.

It's a really good question.

Anybody?

What's the problem?

What's the deal?

I'm very sorry for the delay.

If you'll just be patient, we'll be with you

in just a few more minutes, okay?

So, did you track down the little weasel?

No. I've been calling Cord's hotel all morning.

There's no answer. Great.

I can't take off without fuel.

Cord's the only one who can sign for it.

These people depend on us.

The most important thing we have

is our relationship with our customers.

Excuse me...

Just sit down, Grandma-- we'll be with you when we're ready.

Joe, what are we going to do?

Oh, there's nothing

we can do.

Cancel the damn flight.

Sandpiper regrets to inform you

that we are canceling the damn flight.

Helen, do you believe this?

I'm going to kill that Cord.

He's here one day, he's ruining the business.

Joe, you have got to relax.

You are becoming obsessed with that kid

taking over your company.

It's interfering with our personal life.

What are you talking about?

Well, let's just say when a woman is having sex with her husband

the last thing she wants to hear is him screaming

"How the hell do I get out of this position?"

Hey, Brian,

we had to cancel all our flights

because we can't find Cord.

I don't think we're gonna get a plan in the air today.

A day off with pay?

I likes being an employee.

Doesn't this bother you at all?

Are you that apathetic?

Listen, Joey, I know it's really hard to accept

but Sandpiper airlines is no longer our responsibility.

So, if the airline's a mess, it's Cord's problem.

Yeah, and when Sandpiper goes down

and we no longer have jobs

whose problem is it then?

Morning, everybody.

So, nothing like getting up bright and early

on your first day at work, huh?

It's 2:00 in the afternoon.

It is?

Well, what time do we knock off?

Oh, you must be Cord.

Mm-hmm. And you are?

Helen, Joe's wife.

And Joe is...?

Me.

I'm Joe, one of your pilots.

May I have a word with you in my office?

Why? Is something wrong?

Oh, no. No, of course not.

Just we've had to cancel all our flights.

We're basically shut down right now.

Wow. All on my first day.

How could this happen, Pilot Joe?

Okay, let me explain this to you

with a little visual aid, all right?

Imagine that this is the plane

and that this...

Easy there, Pilot Joe.

Why don't everybody just sit down?

Let's talk about this over some lunch.

Cord, what can I get you?

Nothing. Thanks.

Somebody left this muffin basket at my hotel.

I totally pigged out.

It was just my little way

of saying welcome to the Sandpiper family.

CORD: Well, that was

really nice of you, uh..?

Ticket Agent Fay.

It was my pleasure.

And if there's anything else you need

you just let me know.

Dinner reservations, car rental...

I give quite a pedicure.

Well, thank you, Ticket Agent Fay.

Okay, so, enough sitting around.

What do you say we get some work done?

Staff meeting.

Everybody in my office.

It's that way, right?

Yes, it is.

And that's why you're the boss.

Muffin basket?

Pedicures?

Hey, I'm going which way the wind blows

and right now, Pee Wee is the wind.

Okay, look, I know I've only been here one day

but I've been doing a lot of thinking

and I know exactly what this airline needs.

What?

Are you ready?

A really big idea.

Okay, we're waiting.

What's the really big idea?

What do you mean?

The really big idea is the really big idea.

Well, finally, the kind of fresh young thinking

this airline's been needing.

What thinking? What's she talking about?

You know, that's not a bad idea,

a really big idea.

What's not a bad idea?

A big idea.

A really big idea.

Well, I must say, I'm very impressed.

This is crazy.

Saying you have a really big idea

is not a really big idea.

Joey, don't dump on it

just 'cause you didn't think of it first.

Think of what?

What is the really big idea?

Seems to me that most of us are already on board with this, Joe.

On board with what?

The really big idea is the really big idea?

Finally, it's getting through.

Okay, look, I think we've had a really productive morning.

So, um, let's just break off into groups

and we'll explore this further.

Fay, you're on my team.

Oh, you bet I am.

Well, this is insane.

"The really big idea."

How can you be on board?

He hasn't said anything.

I'd watch it, Pilot Joe.

Your attitude has been noticed.

And thank you for flying Aeromass.

( chuckles )

Like they had a choice.

Oh, I love being the only game in town.

Enjoy it while you can.

What does that mean, huh?

You are so naive.

Don't you know who owns Sandpiper now?

Yeah, some guy named Clayton.

Edgar Clayton.

Clayton Industries.

Transportation, communications.

Crack a Business Week once in a while.

Listen, Edgar Clayton does not take over a company

to let it fail.

If he put that kid

in charge of Sandpiper,

trust me, he's up to something.

Hey, I'm not worried.

He can't hurt me.

He could have you for breakfast.

For a year.

Excuse me.

We haven't met.

Roy Biggins, C.E.O. of Aeromass.

Aeromass...

Your competition.

I didn't know we had any competition.

Kind of cocky, aren't you, kid?

But you have the plans to back it up, huh?

Oh, you bet he does.

Cord's come up with a big idea.

A big idea?

A really big idea.

So, uh, what's the really big idea?

Well, between you and me, I don't have a clue.

Oh, come on, kid,

what are you up to?

You're adding to your fleet?

Expanding your routes, huh?

Oh, no.

It's not private charters, is it?

Private charters?

Is that a good thing?

Oh, you heartless bastard.

You put your finger

on the one market I haven't been able to crack.

Well, I'll see you around.

Don't you threaten me.

I'm not just going to lay down

and roll over, you know.

You're not the only one around here

with really big ideas.

Oh, I'm a dead man.

Do you believe this kid, Brian?

What are we going to do?

Well, he did say

we should break off into groups

and start working on the big idea.

You listen to me, Brian, and I want to be very clear.

As long as I live, I never want to hear the words

"really big idea" again.

Oh, Joe, I just heard.

What's the really big idea?

There is no really big idea.

Oh, fine. Well, if you won't tell me...

I am trying to tell you.

There is no really big idea.

I don't know why he won't get on board with this.

Okay. All right, here he is.

Cord, my wife wants to know what the really big idea is.

Now go on. Tell her. Tell her the really big idea.

We turn Sandpiper into an exclusive private charter service.

Huh?

Well, it's the one market that our competition

hasn't been able to crack.

Wow. I'm impressed.

Thanks.

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm going to go start putting this into motion.

Private charters?

That is a great idea.

Now, why would you hide that from me?

Because that is not the really big idea.

He said that the big idea was the really big idea.

Um, Joe, honey,

now, you're not making any sense.

I'm not making sense?

He's the one that's not making sense.

He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

Right, Brian? Right? Right?

You know, your attitude has stunk from the get-go.

( Joe screaming )

Joe, just come in here,

sit down and relax.

Everything's going to be just fine.

Joe. Joe. Are you okay?

It was nothing.

I really don't see what the big deal was.

I... I heard you turned blue,

your eyes bugged out,

you did a...

you did a header into a garbage can.

He just had a minor, minor anxiety attack.

( whispering ): Speak in very even tones and make no sudden moves.

I'm... I'm glad to hear it's nothing serious.

What's with your dolly?

The doctor gave it to me.

I'm supposed to squeeze Mr. Googie

whenever I feel I might pitch over again.

I see.

So there's nothing wrong with you

physically.

You're just a freakin' nut case.

Look, I'm not...

Now, just calm down.

Nobody thinks you're crazy.

Just squeeze Mr. Googie

and visualize your happy place.

Don't get confused again

and squeeze your happy place

and visualize Mr. Googie.

How you doing, Joey?

He's in his happy place.

Yeah? Well, he won't be there for long.

The plane's gone.

Wha... what do you mean, the plane is gone?

How can the plane be gone?

Cord! Cord! Cord!

All rise

for the president of Sandpiper.

Where is the damn plane?!

Oh, I leased it to a crop-dusting company.

You what?

Squeeze, baby, squeeze.

Okay. Here's what's going on.

Do you remember my really big idea?

Keep a-squeezing.

I called this friend of mine

in the music business.

Are you ready for this?

Okay, The Todds are going on a three-month tour

and we are going to fly them.

I mean, they are the hottest thing

in country music right now.

Just trust me-- we are gonna make more money in three months

than you guys made all last year.

The Todds?

I love The Todds!

That is a great idea!

I mean, you know, it doesn't suck.

Joe, do you hear that?

Do you hear it?

Hear what?

Nothing. Not a sound.

Unlike that blender we used to fly,

this is a real airplane.

Come on.

It's not that much different from ours.

Yes, it is. We can't outrun this one.

Come on, admit it, Joey. This is a great airplane.

Come on, admit it! Admit it!

All right, I admit it, I admit it.

This is a great plane.

This is an incredible plane.

This is the coolest plane I've ever flown.

And who do we have to thank for all this?

All right, I know, so the kid did have a really big idea.

You're damn right.

Can you believe who we have back there?

Nina and Tammy Todd-- The Todds!

I know, man. I love them.

I have all their albums.

Butterflies and angels

And meadows full of mist

Always kind of makes me

Think of the time that we first kissed.

I wonder if this plane has ejector seats.

Attention.

This is your co-captain, Brian Hackett.

We have reached cruising altitude.

Flight attendant, you may commence beverage service.

Hi. My name is Casey,

and I'll be your flight attendant.

May I just say what an honor it is to serve you.

I love all of your songs.

Especially "Heaven Is a Place Called You"

and... what's that one from your first album?

Double vodka, rocks.

I don't think I've heard that song.

Well, get used to it, because she sings it a lot.

Okay. What can I get you, Tammy?

Oh! May I call you Tammy?

No.

Diet Coke.

All righty, then.

Diet Coke?

Talk about rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

That's fresh, Mother.

A slam at my weight.

Why don't you just slam back a couple more vodkas,

you leathery old barfly?

You know, I'm just going

to let that roll right off my back.

Yeah. Just like the drummer, the bass player

and half the horn section.

What keeps you warm at night

other than a big bucket of McNuggets?

Two voices and one heart

Nothin' could ever tear us apart.

Joe, please.

Don't make me use the flare gun on myself.

Oh, sugar?

Nina's glass is empty.

Oh. Really? Why, I just set it down.

Did you spill it?

Yeah, she spilled it-- right down her gullet.

All right, well, I'll just bring you another one.

And would you like something to snack on?

I'll have some of those honey roasted peanuts.

How about a bale of hay for Bessie over there?

Tinkle, tinkle.

Coming right up.

Tammy, I think we should go over

some of the songs we're going to sing tonight.

Don't you mean the songs I'm going to sing

and you're going to sway suggestively to

like the no-talent horndog that you are?

How dare you call me a horndog?

Well, hello, Dolly!

Hi. Excuse me.

I don't mean to interrupt

but I just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm your pilot, Joe Hackett.

May I also say I'm one of your biggest fans.

And may I say--

even though we just met--

I'm one of yours.

Tammy, move

your fat bucket off that seat

and let sweet good-lookin' sit down.

Uh, well... You know, I'm sick and tired

of looking at your old, ugly, reconstructed face.

Moooooo!

That's it!

I'm not taking your abuse

for the next three months.

This tour is off!

That's fine with me!

Wait. You can't cancel the tour.

I should have dumped you years ago.

You dump me?

She didn't mean that.

The hell I didn't.

From now on, this girl's going solo.

Solo? You're a team.

Two voices, one heart.

You wouldn't last two weeks without me.

Oh, that's right-- all I can do is write, sing, and play beautiful songs.

Who's going to drain the liquor cabinet

and bang the roadies?

That's it!

Hey! Ladies, ladies!

Ladies, remember...

remember the music!

This is your co-captain, Brian Hackett, speaking.

We're now beginning our approach into New York,

marking the first leg

of The Todds' Love Heals All tour.

So please fasten your seat belts

as we may be experiencing some turbulence.

Joe...

when you squeeze this

do you feel yourself getting kind of turned on?

No.

Yeah. Me, neither.

How's your neck?

I'll let you know when I get some movement back.

Oh, by the way, thanks for all your help.

Hey, you know, I wasn't worried.

Even when Tammy was continually

piledriving your head into the carpet,

I knew you had the situation well in hand.

Yeah, I did, too.

I'll tell you one thing, Butterflies and Angels has a whole new meaning.

It's the last thing I saw before she punched my lights out.

Listen, you swear something to me.

You swear you will never tell anyone

I was knocked out by a girl.

You got it.

Oh, Joe, you okay?

I heard you got bounced around the cabin by a Todd.

Well, look on the bright side.

At least we have a funny story

to tell our grandchildren.

Yeah, assuming I can still have them.

She landed a few kicks too.

Now the tour's off.

Now what do we do?

I don't know.

I'm sure our fearless leader Cord

will have another "really big idea."

Um... yeah, about that...

you might want to grab your googie.

Why?

Because when he found out what happened, he split.

And Fay called the hotel, and he's checked out.

What are you saying?

Cord is gone?

Are you sure?

So, how are my two favorite pilots?

Oh, well...

look what the wind blew back in.

I can't believe you have the nerve

to show both your faces back here.

( forced laughter )

Oh, Joe, I'm so glad to see

you haven't lost that delightful sense of humor.

Look, Fay, if you think you're going

to get back in our good graces...

Joe, Joe...

don't blame her.

She's only doing what any threatened creature would do--

trying to survive.

Yes, porcupines shoot their quills

a skunk emits a big stink

and Fay... Fay just sucks up like an industrial Hoover.

( forced laughter )

Delightful, both of you.

I hate to say this, but the only thing worse

than Cord being here is Cord not being here.

If his father finds out that he's gone,

he's going to shut us down permanently.

Well, luckily, we don't have to worry about that

'cause he's in Singapore.

Oh, no, he isn't.

( knocking )

Mr. Clayton, what are you doing here?

I just came by

to check on my investment and see my son.

How's he doing?

Well, that son of yours, he's something.

He's...

He's a mover and a shaker.

He's a doer and a thinker.

He's a butcher and a baker.

Where is he?

He's... a-hustlin' and a-bustlin'.

He's a-wheelin' and a-dealin'.

He's a-butchin' and a-bakin'.

All right, let's cut the runaround

and tell me where my son is, okay?

Joe, could you come out here, please?

Fay, we're in the middle of something here.

Uh, Joe...

Fay, we have an emergency.

Why did you pull me out of there?

Hey, where do you think you're going?

Um... just out for a little walk.

New York with a connecting flight to London?

Look, I gave running this airline a shot.

Okay, it didn't work out.

So, no harm, no foul.

Hold it, hold it. That's not the way it works.

Oh, sure it is.

Just ask my father, he'll tell you.

"Cord never finishes anything.

Cord is just a huge screw-up."

Listen to me, Cord.

You know as well as I do that if you leave

your father is gonna shut us down.

Well, sorry, that's not my problem.

Yeah, yeah, it is your problem.

This is not just about you.

It affects other people's lives, too, you know--

like me, my brother, that suck-up Fay.

Hey, hey, you say what you want about me

but you lay off that fine and good woman.

All right, Cord, listen.

I know that...

I had some problems with you being here, okay?

But I want to tell you something.

You did a really good job.

I did?

Yeah.

Yeah, that tour thing was a great idea.

It didn't work out.

That wasn't your fault

but you'll have other good ideas.

Your father is wrong about you

and now is your chance to prove it.

Now come on, he's in the office right now.

My dad's here?

Yes.

So you can either stay here and face this

or you can run away

like you've done your whole life.

You're right.

Good.

So... ready?

Yeah.

See you.