Original subtitles

Hi, Helen. I'd like a burger, please.

Oh, sorry, Antonio. I'm closed for lunch.

That's, that's when you make all your money.

Why would a lunch counter close for lunch?

I'm writing a speech on how to run a successful business.

Is that the speech

for the Chamber of Commerce annual luncheon?

Yeah. How'd you know?

I was their speaker last year.

You were?

Well, actually, the topic was a little different.

It was "The American Dream: Don't Hold Your Breath."

Anyway, read me, read me what you have so far.

Okay.

"Ladies and gentlemen,

"I am thrilled and honored to be here.

"One of the most difficult aspects

"of running a successful business

"is juggling your professional life

"with your home life.

"It's especially hard for me

because my husband also owns a thriving business."

Come on, Mr. Jeffries,

I'm not that many payments behind!

Can't the bank please carry me for another week?

Please!

Please!

Hey, uh, Joey?

Is everything okay with the business?

Sure. Why would you ask a crazy question like that?

All right.

Well, uh, my last two flights were canceled.

I keep getting these weird stares when I go to the bank.

Every time I pass Fay, she whispers

"Remember the good times."

Come on, you know Fay.

It's like this every slow season.

She's like Chicken Little.

"Joe, Joe, the sky is falling!

The sky is falling!"

Look around, man.

Is the sky falling?

Joe! Joe!

The plane is missing! The plane is missing!

Hey!

Calm down, Chicken Little.

Calm down.

The plane is not missing.

Joe, tell her the plane is not missing.

It's not missing.

See?

It's been repossessed.

See?

It doesn't make any sense.

Why would the bank repossess our plane?

We've missed one lousy payment.

It wasn't just one.

Well, how many payments did we miss?

Three.

Well, why didn't you tell me we missed three payments?

'Cause we actually missed five.

Five payments?!

Why didn't you tell me?

What am I-- some little brother

you have to shield from the truth? I'm your partner.

All right, it was eight.

Eight?!

That's not all.

I had to di...

No! No more!

I can't hear you! I can't hear you!

Brian, stop it, okay?

That's not the worst part. The worst part is...

Oh, them golden slippers

Oh, them golden...

The worst part is that...

I've been dipping into Helen's and my personal account

and I didn't tell her.

Oh, wow.

So...

what do we do now?

I don't know. I've tried everything.

If we could just pump some cash into the airline

to get us on our feet again.

Right. We need a cash pumper.

Maybe I could find a financial broker.

You know, a guy who could hook us up with some investors.

Right. We need a hooker.

It's not going to be easy.

I just hope we can find an investor in time.

We will. We will.

We just got to hang tough and not fall apart.

You're right. You're right.

We're strong. Right?

We can get through anything.

Boys, I'm afraid I have some bad news.

They're cutting off our elec...

BOTH: Oh, them golden slippers, Oh, them golden slippers

Oh, them golden slippers...

When's this Clayton guy coming already?

I'm starting to get nervous. Well, you should be.

We've been turned down by every bank, credit union

and investor on the East Coast.

He's the only one that showed any interest.

What are we gonna say to him?

I mean, how do you talk to a multi-millionaire?

All right, listen up.

I've done some research on this guy.

He likes his whiskey. He likes his cigars.

He is a real man's man.

Ah. Sounds fascinating.

No.

See, that is a real sissy thing to say:

"Fascinating."

He hears that, he is out of here.

Okay. Now you've got me all flustered and insecure.

Brian, I'm warning you.

You stop using words like that.

You have got exactly four minutes to become a man.

Oh, no... oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

I'm begging you.

Do something masculine.

Uh, Joe, Mr. Clayton's plane just landed.

You're going to be okay?

Yeah, I'm going to be fine.

Um...

how do I look?

CASEY: Oh, Helen,

that looks gorgeous on you.

You think so? Yeah, I mean,

the minute I saw it in the window,

I said, "This is the perfect outfit

for Helen to give her speech in."

Casey, it's $700.

So what? Just do what I do:

just tuck in the tag, don't spill anything on it

then when you take it back to the store

throw it in their face

and say, "This smells like it's been worn!"

Uh, hey, Joe, come here a second.

Hey, what do you think?

You look very nice.

"Nice"? Are you kidding? That dress is fabulous.

"Fabulous"?

What did I tell you about using those kind of words?

Joe, guess who's coming in gate one?

Who? Who? Who?

Uh, nobody.

What do you mean, "nobody"?

What's going on here, Joe?

Nothing.

What do you mean "nothing"?

Nothing. Nothing.

Joe, there's something going on.

You have been acting strange for days.

And why are you dressed like that?

Are you meeting someone?

Joey, let's go.

Helen, now is not a good time.

Oh, my God! It's not another woman, is it?

Oh, please, don't let it be another woman.

I can take anything but that.

It is not another woman.

Oh, okay.

Well, honey, look.

I'm strong. I can take it.

Just tell me...

I can't tell you now.

Tell me.

O-Okay, here it is.

Sandpiper's bankrupt and I used up all our savings

trying to keep it going.

Oh, no! No! No!

Joey, Joey, come on.

Look, I've got to go.

Oh, how, Joe?

How?

Mr. Clayton...

it's a pleasure.

Joe Hackett.

How, Joe, how?

You do know

there's a wailing woman attached to your leg?

Every airport's got them.

Run along now. No more pamphlets.

You come talk to me, dear.

I've been looking to join a cult.

Mr. Clayton?

Apres vous.

Now you're just doing it to piss me off.

Thank you for coming, Mr. Clayton.

I'm glad to see you're the kind of guy

that does business man to man.

No officious bean counters getting in the way.

Actually, my entire entourage is in a Tokyo hospital

after eating some bad puffer fish.

Wow. Isn't that the kind that'll kill you?

Yeah. Me? I just shook it off.

Anyway, uh...

let's get down to business, shall we?

Thank you.

Mr. Clayton, my brother and I

have prepared a little presentation

we'd like to call "The Sandpiper Story."

( clicks metal noisemaker )

It all started out... with an airplane.

( clicks )

An airplane... and a dream.

( clicks )

An airplane and a dream...

and a man called Joe.

( Clicks )

The year was 1988.

( clicks )

Gentlemen, let's cut through the guano.

We all know the reason I'm here

is because you guys are in the dumper.

And what makes you say that?

From what I've learned, the bank has confiscated your plane

and your credit rating is a joke.

Is that why you came here? To humiliate us?

No. I have people on the payroll to do that.

Now, give me one good reason why I should bail you boys out.

Because we're an established company and I think...

Joe, wait, wait.

May I?

Please.

Mr. Clayton...

we just need a lousy, stinkin' break,

just one lousy break

in this dirty, rotten, unfair world...

Brian...

where they will crush you like a bug!

( clicking ) Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Look, I'm a big believer in second chances,

and I think this airline has a lot of potential

but your biggest problem is you're under-capitalized.

Exactly. We're under-capitalized.

So, just how much were you thinking of investing?

Gentlemen, I don't invest in companies, I buy them.

Uh, no. You don't understand.

Sandpiper's not for sale.

Right now, Sandpiper isn't even in business.

Look, I'm offering you a chance to get your plane

back in the air. I think you might reconsider.

I'll have my business people

fax over a copy of my proposal.

I assume you have a fax machine.

BRIAN: Sure, we do.

Just send it over to Ollie's Drugs.

I got to pick up some creme rinse. ( clicks )

I mean, shampoo. ( clicks )

Condoms.

I'll be on the island for 24 hours,

which is exactly how long my offer will last.

Well, Mr. Clayton, I'm sorry you came all this way

but the airline is not for sale.

We will never be that desperate.

Why, Joe, why?

Why couldn't it have been another woman?

I'll be in touch.

Joey...

I got a way out of this.

What? I don't know why I didn't think

of this sooner.

Scratchers!

We are going to scratch our way out of this mess.

That's your big idea?

You got a better one?

All right, scratchers!

Eh?

Aw! Damn!

Nothing! Goose egg.

All right!

What did you win?

Two bucks!

Tide's a-turnin'!

( knocking )

hey, Joe, uh... I know you're in trouble

so, uh...

I want you to have this.

It's all the money I have in the world.

I don't know what to say.

Say nothing.

The look in your eyes is all the thanks I need.

Oh, wait. Uh...

( snaps fingers )

I'm so embarrassed to say this.

I just remembered that I'm a little low on gas.

Do you mind?

Of course not.

Oh... oh!

( snaps fingers )

I almost forgot.

Uh, one more thing--

my, my, my nephew Carlo's first holy communion is Sunday.

I got his gift on layaway.

May I?

Sure.

Oh! Gee!

Where is my head?

Tomorrow is the first of the month.

My rent is due.

Antonio...

I really don't need...

( change rattling )

No, no, my friend... that's yours.

Hackett, could I talk to you for a minute?

Uh, not right now, Roy-- pretty busy.

Look, uh, Hackett, I know you're under the gun

and I want to help you out.

I've got the cash to keep Sandpiper in your hands.

Here's my proposal.

Really? You'd do that?

Hey... we're friends.

30% interest-- that's pretty high.

Well, you are kind of a risk, pal.

"Late penalty: plane reverts to Aeromass."

My accountant just threw that in there.

And what is this with you and Helen?

Hey, that only kicks in in the second year.

Get out of here, Roy!

Joe, we have to talk.

Look, I know what you're going to say:

I screwed up;

how could I spend all our savings without telling you;

I'm an irresponsible, selfish idiot.

No argument there.

That's not what I wanted to say.

Joe, ever since we were little kids

we came to each other with our problems.

Why didn't you talk to me?

Look, Helen, I'm sorry.

I just thought I could handle this alone.

But this didn't happen to you, it happened to us.

Look, from now on,

we're going to be open and honest

and tell each other everything

even if it's unpleasant...

like, say...

I ruined a $700 outfit,

and now we have to pay for it.

Honey, you don't have to make up stories

just to make a point.

Oh, you just see right through me, don't you?

Look, uh, I know what I did was wrong

but I just... I didn't know how to tell you

that I lost everything.

I was ashamed and...

and now I feel trapped and I'm scared.

I don't want to sell the airline to Clayton

but I don't see any other way out.

I... I don't know what to do.

I do.

We can sell the house.

We... no, we can't sell the house.

You love that house.

Yeah, I do, but I love you more.

Joey?

Uh... a fax with Clayton's offer just came in.

What do you want to do?

You know what I was just thinking about?

The day I opened up for business

I was standing over there behind the counter

and I remember thinking, "What the hell am I doing?

There is no way this is going to work."

And then this, uh...

sweet old lady walked up...

what was her name... Mrs. Maguire.

She says, "Can I have one

for your flight to Boston, please?"

She hands me a $20 bill.

The whole flight

I am holding on to that 20 so tight.

I couldn't believe Sandpiper was in business,

and at that moment...

anything seemed possible.

And later I even, uh, had that 20 framed

so I'd always remember what that felt like.

Come to think of it

you know, I haven't seen that 20 lately.

Well, scratchers don't grow on trees.

Eight years.

Eight years I've owned Sandpiper, Brian.

I put my life into this business.

How can I sell it?

Half of it's mine.

Don't you think it's ripping me up too?

Hey, you already signed it.

Yeah, but... it wasn't easy.

Listen, Joe, you got another option, I'll take it.

Helen said she'd be willing to sell the house.

( sighs )

Here, give me your pen.

Well, looks like Clayton

just bought himself an airline.

Surprise!

Hey, Joey,

the plane's back.

It sure is.

Did you miss me?

I missed you.

I hate when he does that.

It freaks me out.

Brian, we did the right thing, right?

Yeah, we sure did.

I mean, look, even though we're employees now

we're still pilots.

Hey, man, it's what we love to do.

And the important thing is

we still have the Sandpiper name.

You know, that name, Sandpiper, that means something to people.

That is what matters most. That's right.

And even though Clayton's our boss

I don't think he'll exactly be hands-on with our airline.

I mean, this guy is the definition of "silent partner."

Hi, boys.

Oh. Wow.

Mr. Clayton, we're just tickled to see you.

( clearing throat )

What? A man would say that.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck before I shove off.

Thank you, Mr. Clayton.

We're really grateful

for the faith you've shown in us.

You're welcome. Before I go

I want to introduce you to someone.

Joe and Brian Hackett, this is my son Cord.

He's just out of school.

How you doing?

Just out of school, huh?

Boy, you must have a lot of big plans.

Yes, he does.

Cord's going to be running Sandpiper.

He's your new boss.

What?!

You report to him. He reports to me.

Are we clear?

Mr. Clayton, can we see you in our office?

You tricked us.

Yeah. I thought we were still going to be in charge.

Gentlemen, with all due respect,

no one buys a bankrupt airline

because they're impressed with the current management.

You know, I don't care-- we want out of this deal.

You signed a contract.

Now, if you have any further questions

I suggest you direct them to Cord.

It's his airline now.

It's been a pleasure, gentlemen.

No. We're not going to take this.

I am going to rip that contract up.

Good idea, Joe.

A boob like that would never have made a copy.

Oh, look who's here--

the boss.

Let's get something straight right now.

I built this airline from the ground up, and I'll be damned

if I'm going to let some snot-nosed little punk

come in here and start giving me orders.

Oh, wow.

That was loud.

Could you hate me just a little more quietly?

Great. You're trashed, aren't you?

Was trashed.

Was happy.

Was not here.

I am working

on a serious hangover here.

So could you just kind of point me

to the Sandpiper VIP lounge?

I have got to lie down.

Well, there's plenty of room out on runway two.

Just put your head on the big white line.

You know, I'm picking up a little 'tude here.

All right, let me tell you something, okay?

I've worked with Joe here for the past eight years.

And if there's one thing

we Hackett brothers don't go for

it's nepotism.

JOE: Yeah. That's right.

Now, what qualifies you to run this airline?

Okay, that's a good question.

Now, what qualifies me to run this airline?

It's a really good question.

Anybody?

Look, we all know that the only reason you're here

is your father bought us out

and shoved you down our throats.

You know, that has been the welcoming speech

at, like, every college I've ever been to.

Every college?

How many of them have there been?

Let's see. I started off at Harvard.

Boy, it's hard there.

Then there was UCLA, USC, SMU, NYU, UNLV, and...

Well, it didn't really have a name

but it was a sort of university-slash-brothel

outside Guadalajara.

Okay, look, you're just going to have to call your father

and tell him this is not going to work.

No, no, this has to work.

Okay, if it doesn't, my dad's going to cut me off.

Well, I'm sorry but that is not our problem.

Actually, it kind of is.

See, 'cause if I bail, there's no more airline.

And he'll just pull the plug on everything.

What are you saying?

That we're your little science experiment here?

God, I hope not.

I flunked science in, like, six colleges.

Okay, look, the bottom line is, I need you and you need me.

Come on, you guys.

Everything is gonna be fine.

First off, I just want to say

I have a tremendous amount of respect

for what you've done here.

I'm not about to ruin everything you've worked so hard for.

Good. Finally you said something smart.

Oh, by the way,

that "Sandpiper" name, it's got to go.