Original subtitles

( chuckles )

Hey... I know you.

I know you.

You're, um...

You're Petrone.

Joe Petrone, right?

Actually, I'm George Kennedy. I know!

Petrone was the name of a character I played

in the Airport movie.

I've seen every one of them.

My favorite one was the first one.

Man, they never would have been able

to land that 707 safely if it were not for you.

You were incredible.

Thank you very much.

I mean, when you stuck that stogie

in your mouth, and you barked orders to your men,

I... I...

I'd give anything to hear you shout,

"Phone runway six!

"We got a jumbo coming in on her belly!"

( laughing )

Yeah, I liked that scene, too.

Do it.

I don't, I don't think...

Come on! come on, do it. Do it, do it, do it.

Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm... Right.

but that was just a role I played in the movie. Right.

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it in public.

Besides, my flight leaves in a second.

Attention, Sandpiper air passengers:

Flight Nine to Boston will be delayed 30 minutes.

Wow, what a break, huh?

( strained chuckle )

Now we can talk about all the Airport movies.

Heck, maybe we can even do some scenes together, huh?

Scenes...

Excuse me.

What's the trouble with Flight Nine? Oh, oh, no.

There's no trouble, Mr. Kennedy.

It's just that sometimes things run

a little behind schedule at a small airport.

( dry chuckle )

( sotto voce ): I've got to get out of here.

I want the pilot for Sandpiper Flight Zero-Niner

to report to his aircraft on the double.

Tower, give me a clearance for takeoff in five minutes.

Ground crew, prepare your aircraft A.S.A.P.

because I'm leaving and I'm leaving now.

And somebody phone runway six.

We got a jumbo coming in on her belly!

Hey, George!

Hey, you're back! Hey, hey, hey.

It's me, Brian Hackett, from this morning. Remember?

Yeah. Nice to see you.

Hey, so, so what... what are you doing

back on the island, anyway?

I just went over to Boston to have some lunch.

I'm on vacation.

My travel agent said this was a nice, quiet place

where I wouldn't be disturbed.

Well, you came to the right place.

There's nobody going to bother you here.

All right. Listen, George...

about this morning, huh?

I'm sorry for bending your ear

about all the Airport movies.

You must be pretty tired about hearing all that.

Thanks for being so understanding.

Oh, you're welcome.

So, listen, about Cool Hand Luke,

I cannot believe Paul Newman ate 50 eggs.

Say, what do you think his cholesterol shot up to, huh?

Hey, Antonio. Guess what.

Today, Joe and I start interviewing contractors.

Oh! That... that is so romantic, huh?

Starting out together,

building a little love nest.

A place where... where you raise a family.

It's just... it's wonderful.

Thank you.

You know, sometimes I-I...

I just get so jealous of you two

that I lie awake in bed at night

and chew on my blanket in...

...rage and frustration and despair.

Other times, I just watch Leno.

Hey, Antonio, guess what.

Helen and I are going to choose our contractor today.

A year from now, we're going to be moving into our dream house.

You know, sometimes I just lay awake in bed at night

and chew on my blanket...

I'll fill him in.

Uh, uh, Joe, Helen,

there's a contractor waiting for you in the office.

At least I think it's a contractor.

He's got a tape measure in his pocket.

At least I think it's a tape measure.

JOE: He's early.

( door opens )

Hello.

Hi there. You must be Jerry.

Uh, that's right.

And you must be the Bulemans.

No, we're the Hacketts.

No, no, you're the Bulemans.

It says so right here.

Oh... my mistake.

The Bulemans were yesterday.

Uh, well, so, Jerry, did you have a chance

to put together a bid for our house?

I sure did.

Oh! Oh!

I'm all thumbs.

Uh, anyway...

here's the bid.

I think you'll find it very reasonable.

Uh, I'm having trouble making this out, Jerry.

Is that a three or an eight?

Whichever one will get me the job.

I haven't worked in a real long time.

Build one house that collapses,

and suddenly you're labeled a risk.

And this is the extension

I put on Rudy's gym.

Well, I didn't finish it,

'cause Rudy and I got into a little beef.

That's too bad.

So... when do I start?

Well, um...

we'll let you know.

Oh, I see what's going on here.

You're not going to hire me just because I'm a woman.

Oh, no, no, no.

In fact, we don't see you as a woman at all.

You don't think I'm tough enough.

You-- pretty boy.

Come on, hit me.

Go ahead!

Hit me. Hit me!

Okay.

Joe...

And here's a little Cape Cod

I did for a couple in the Vineyard.

That's a beautiful house.

Finished on time and under budget.

And this one in Hyannisport

is one of my larger projects.

Um... that...

looks like the Kennedy Compound.

It is the Kennedy Compound.

And here's a little something I built in Italy.

That-that looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

It is the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Oh, Joe,

we're going to be living

with Brian and Casey till we die.

( knock on door )

Excuse me. I'm Larry Mohr.

I have an appointment with Joe and Helen Hackett.

Come on in.

So, Lar, what's your story?

You on parole? Being deported?

Or are you just killing time till the mother ship returns?

I see you've met my competition.

Yeah, there are a lot of flakes out there.

And we've met them all.

Well, let me show you some of the jobs I've done.

( sighs )

Now, here's one I'm particularly proud of

on Sand Hill Road.

Joe, that's that house.

You know it?

Know it, are you kidding? We love that house.

It seemed like that thing went up overnight.

Well, when I take on a job, I believe in doing it fast

and doing it well.

Oh... Oh...

I've broken down my bid into various categories

so you can see exactly where your money's going.

This is the lowest bid we've gotten now.

I can come in below my competitors

because instead of subbing out most of the job,

I do it all myself.

That enables me to keep the costs down,

but more importantly,

to control the quality of the work.

Oh... Oh...

Anyway, I don't expect you

to make a decision right away.

This is a big step.

Think it over and take your time.

All right. Of course.

Absolutely. Right.

You're hired! You're hired!

To the person that makes my life worth living.

Whose caring and thoughtfulness

makes each day special in its own way.

To Larry. To Larry.

( doorbell chimes )

Hey, Larry! Come on in.

We were just talking about you.

Hey! Larry, we are so happy that you're building our house.

( sobbing )

Oh, God.

Is... is something wrong?

What is it?

Is it the foundation?

No.

A problem with the permits?

My wife kicked me out.

So the foundation's okay?

God, she says I'm never there for her,

(sniffling): that I... that I'm married to my work,

that I put my clients' interests above hers.

Listen, tomorrow, why don't you sit her down

and just talk this thing out?

Yeah. You know, after work.

Work? I can't think about work.

Cathy is my life.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to work again.

Oh... Oh...

Helen, is there coffee yet?

Shh! You'll wake up Larry.

He was up till 3:00 a.m. crying his eyes out.

He's gone.

Well, great, maybe he decided to go back to work.

Or maybe not. Maybe he did something desperate.

Oh, come on. What makes you think he did that?

'Cause all he kept saying last night

was "I can't go on" and "I want to die"

and "without her, there's nothing left for me on this earth."

Oh, you read into everything.

I'm telling you, Joe,

this man is hanging on by a thread.

Who wants pancakes?

Larry?

Or-or I could make waffles if you're waffle people.

Larry, it seems like you're feeling a lot better.

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Look, I want to apologize

about the way I broke down there last night.

I... I hardly know you two.

Anyway, I'm really sorry.

Hey, it's no problem, buddy. Well, are you sure?

'Cause last night, you were really upset...

Larry said he's feeling fine.

What do you need, a doctor's note? Yeah.

Anyway...

the, uh, breakfast is on the table. (gasps)

Thanks!

Oh, uh, before I go,

I just want you to know one thing.

There is absolutely no way

that I'm going to allow my personal life

to interfere with my commitment to build your house.

I'm going to be on that job day and night.

I'm going to give 100 percent

right until the moment th-that wel... ( choking up )

that that welcome mat

is on that front step.

( sobbing )

Excuse me. I have to go to work now.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, that's the spirit there, Lar.

I knew we couldn't keep you down.

You're a pro. Nothing's going to stop you.

Helen...

( sobbing continues )

You two look terrible.

Oh, we had another rough night with Larry.

Yeah. It got to be past 11:00. He got overtired.

We just couldn't put him down.

Up and down with him all night--

bringing him juice, reading him stories.

Joe said that we should let him cry it out,

but I just didn't have the heart.

You've got to be tough.

Once his sleep patterns are set,

it'll only get harder to change them.

You see? Oh, boy. You guys

are so pathetic.

I mean, how could you let a complete stranger

glom onto you like that?

Mmm! Hey, Georgie!

Hey, your hotel must not be giving you my messages.

I must have left at least 50 of them.

Hey, wait up! Got a copy of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot right here.

You know what, Brian is right.

This whole thing with Larry has gotten out of hand.

How long are we going to let this go on?

Joe, the man's wife left him.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean you stop functioning.

Helen, you get up, you go to work, you get on with your life.

Is that what you would do if I left you?

Well, I... I...

Okay, let me give you a hypothetical.

Oh, no, please, not one of your hypotheticals.

What if I caught you in bed with another woman?

Okay, I'm listening.

Who?

Big Pat from the bait shop. Oh, now...

Why would I sleep with Big Pat from the bait shop?

Can't it be Danielle from the tire store?

Because it is my hypothetical,

and you'll sleep with whoever the hell

I tell you to sleep with.

And by the way, from now on, I take the car in for tires.

So, anyway, I kick you out.

How do you feel?

Well, it depends.

If I slept with Big Pat, I'm pretty depressed.

But if I slept with Danielle...

You slept with Big Pat.

Well, then I'm depressed and... slightly nauseous.

And I have no reason to go on.

Exactly.

And that's how Larry feels.

So we should nurture him through this crisis

and not burden him with work until he's ready.

Okay? What do you think?

I don't know.

I still can't get the image of Big Pat out of my head.

Guys, I just went by your construction site.

It's a real beehive of activity.

Ha, ha, that's very funny, Roy.

It will be just as soon as Larry's feeling better.

No. No, no, no. I'm serious.

There must be 20 construction workers out there.

They're all playing softball.

It's a real party.

They even have a piñata.

Roy, they might as well have a good time

as long as they're not getting paid.

No, no, you're paying them all right.

How do you know that?

The plumber grilling the hot dogs told me.

You guys should stop by.

30 minutes, it's luau, luau, luau.

Okay, that's it. Larry's fired.

No, you can't fire him.

You give me one good reason why not.

Because you can't fire a man on his 40th birthday.

How do you know it's his 40th birthday?

Oh, he mentioned it while I was cutting his meat.

Helen, this has gone on long enough.

I agree. We got to put an end to this nonsense.

Okay, great. What are we gonna do?

We're gonna throw him

a surprise 40th birthday party that he'll never forget.

Oh, that'll teach him.

No.

Don't you see? Larry feels abandoned.

He needs to know that there are people that care about him.

So, we'll call his friends and invite them over to our house.

Helen, this is insane.

Now we're throwing a surprise birthday party

for someone we don't even know. I'm not doing it.

It'll get him back to work.

You get the cake, I'll get the party hats.

Hello, Fay?

What are you doing?

Oh, you're taking a footbath?

Really?

Well, we are throwing a surprise birthday party for Larry.

Oh, you know Larry.

Larry the contractor.

Larry.

Look, I'm in big trouble.

None of his friends showed up, and I need bodies here.

So get those gunboats out of that footbath

and get them over here now.

Hello, Roy?

What are you doing?

JOE: Okay, Larry, we're home now.

Surprise!

Um...

"Happy 40th, Larry."

Oh, a party for me.

That's so great. Yeah.

It's going to get even greater.

Surprise! Surprise!

Look, Roy, I don't care what you're watching.

Put it on pause.

It'll be there when you get back.

Helen , what is going on?

Where are all of Larry's friends?

Apparently, he doesn't have any.

They're all his wife's.

Well, so, Lar... Hey!

JOE: Hey, were you surprised?

Oh, we were so worried that you'd find out.

Oh...

Look, I get it.

You tried to give me a party, and nobody came.

What are you talking about, nobody?

Are Joe and I nobody?

HELEN: Is Brian nobody?

Oh, look--

he even brought you a present.

Huh? It's my Chinese food.

And what a thoughtful gift to give Larry

on his 40th birthday.

But I'm hungry.

Give it to him. All right.

Happy birthday, Larry. Happy birthday.

I hope you enjoy mushu shrimp.

I'm allergic to shellfish.

I get puffy.

Well, it's the thought that counts.

( doorbell chimes )

All right, where is he?

Where's that birthday boy?

There's my main man.

Happy birthday, Barry.

Larry.

Larry. Of course.

Why do I always get that wrong?

Because this is the first time we've met.

Yeah, but it's a moment I'll never forget.

I'm Antonio.

Well, all right!

This party's catching fire.

Oh, my shampoo girl said there was an emergency at home.

Is everything all right?

It is now, because you're just in time

for the big birthday bash!

What?!

You made me race out of the salon

and drive over here

looking like a radio transmitter for Harry?!

Barry.

Larry.

( doorbell chimes )

Okay, Helen, we're here.

You have got 30 minutes.

Tops.

Okay.

Now that Larry's surrounded by all the people

that care for him the most...

I don't know any of you.

I'm Fay.

I'm ready to go.

Okay, well, we're all gathered here

because Larry's having a bit of a rough patch,

and he's feeling a little down.

Hey, is that mushu shrimp?

Get your own.

Well, I thought now would be

a good time for everyone

to tell Larry how they feel about him.

Yeah, that is a great idea.

I want to go first, and I want to talk about...

the Larry that I used to know.

Larry the contractor.

Larry that had one dream and one dream only--

to build Helen and me a house--

and I know that that dream still burns deep in your heart.

Am I right, big guy?

Can I go lie down now?

No. We're just beginning.

Here. Sit down.

Now, does anyone else have anything to say?

ROY: Not me.

FAY: Not really.

JOE: No.

Joe, Helen...

I want to thank you very much for throwing me this party.

You've helped me realize something very important.

I might not have a wife,

but now I know I have no friends either.

The rest of you don't have to hang around anymore.

Actually, I do

because Woo Fat won't be here

for another 20 minutes.

( doorbell chimes )

Hey, they must have gotten a new guy.

Does Brian Hackett live here?

George!

What are you doing at my house?

Listen, you--

I have had it up to here with the calls,

the notes, the chocolates,

the following me all over the island.

I'm on vacation here.

I don't want you

hounding me every minute.

Now, you knock it off, or I'm calling the cops.

You got it?

I can't believe you came to my house!

George Kennedy.

Finally, somebody I recognize.

Wow! And he-he came to my birthday party.

Hey... I don't mean to burst your bubble, my friend,

but he's here to see me, okay?

Excuse me, Mr. Kennedy.

I'm Brian's brother.

And if you want to get him off your back, I can arrange it,

but you got to do something for me.

Anything!

Make a speech for Larry.

Who's Larry?

He's that guy.

JOE: My contractor.

It's his 40th birthday. His wife just left him.

He's a basket case.

Say something that'll get him back on his feet.

And you'll get that maniac off my back?

Yeah, if you get that maniac back to work.

It's a deal.

Okay. Say something inspiring.

You make me sick.

Take a look in the mirror.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

lying there, wallowing in self-pity.

So your wife left you.

Big deal.

Get up off your ass and be a man!

Happy birthday to you.

Wow, George, that was some speech.

Where's that from?

Life.

Get one!

Well, I, uh, I've had enough celebration for one day.

Hey, where are you going?

Oh, what's the difference?

( doorbell chimes )

Uh, sorry, toots, private party.

Just Gary's friends.

Huh? I'm Larry's wife, Cathy.

Cathy, wh-what are you doing here?

I thought you might need

some of your things, so...

Oh. Thanks.

Well... don't want to interrupt.

Happy birthday.

No, wait! You can't go, Cathy.

Yeah, Cath, stick around.

You two kids have to talk things out.

Who are these people?

I don't know all their names,

but they're my best friends in the world.

Well, look, you came all this way.

You obviously care.

Just tell Larry how you feel.

Okay.

You are the most impossible man

on earth to live with.

It's a start, not a good one, but...

All right, Lar, why don't you tell Cath how you feel?

I thought we were happy, and then you threw me out,

( voice cracking ): and I... I don't know if I...

Okay, Cath, what Lar is trying to say here is...

I know what Larry's trying to say,

but I can't go on living with a man

who's married to his work and not to me.

Isn't there anything we can do to save this marriage?

Yes, there is.

Yes!

Yeah, well, a ray of hope.

I want a clean start.

Yeah, a clean start is good.

I want to move to Miami

and open up that little restaurant

like we talked about.

Get the hell off of this island for good.

Oh, get real, Cathy, nobody's going anywhere.

That's right, there is no way

that Larry's giving up contracting.

He is a building man. It's in his blood.

I'll do it.

What? Huh? HELEN: No!

I'll do anything

if it means keeping you.

Oh... now, Larry... Oh!

Let's go, hon.

Uh, please don't go!

Your life is here.

Your friends are here.

Our house is here.

Somebody say something.

Bye, Barry.

What about us?

Who's going to build our house?

And here's a little something I built in India.

That looks like the Taj Mahal.

It is the Taj Mahal.

You're hired. You're hired.