Original subtitles

Hey. How was your flight?

Oh, just the typical run to Boston.

Oh, no.

Oh, no! What?

Well, you asked me to pick up

our monogrammed towels; I completely forgot.

Oh, that's okay.

We can get them anytime.

I sure like that you care, though.

Um... you know

business is really slow today.

Really?

How slow?

Real slow.

It's dead. Oh, yeah.

My business is so slow,

I had to cancel flights for the rest of the day.

You're not just teasing me, are you?

No. If things keep on like this,

I might have to fire Fay.

So... if we both have time on our hands

what do you want to do?

My office. Two minutes.

I'll get rid of Roy.

Okay, Roy, what do you want?

Hmm...

Let's see.

What to have.

What to have...

How about the usual?

Uh... well...

Okay.

Okay. Chili coming up!

But you know...

I have chili every morning.

Um...

I'm in the mood for something different

something... exciting.

Yeah, so am I, so let's get on with this.

I know. I'm going to go with the Nanturkey burger.

You got it.

But you know...

maybe what they say is true:

"Stick with your first choice."

I'll have the chili.

Chili coming up.

Oh, Helen, what's the matter?

(sobbing): We're out of chili.

What to have, what to have...

Did I ask about the chicken?

Ten minutes ago

and you said-- and I quote--

"It's just not a chicken day."

You know, I think I know what the problem is.

What, Roy?

I'm just not hungry. I had a big breakfast.

See ya.

Hey, Helen.

It can wait, Casey. Sure it can.

You know that guy you were engaged to?

His name was Davis Lynch, right?

Right, right, right. Okay, listen to this.

"American financier Davis Lynch

"was released yesterday after spending 16 months

under house arrest in Rangoon following a military coup."

What?

"Upon leaving the palatial 32-room seaside villa

"where he had been confined,

"Mr. Lynch said he hoped no American would ever

"have to endure the barbaric treatment that he did.

"He then bid a tearful farewell to his house staff

Lupar, Kupar and Mupar."

Oh, gosh.

I've got to get to New York and see Davis.

Why?

Because... I never...

Never what?

Nothing.

I've already said too much.

Roy, I need a ticket

on your next flight to New York.

Well, what is the rush?

Uh, no rush.

Davis Lynch was under house arrest

in Rangoon and she's on her way to see him.

The ticket.

ANTONIO: Helen?

Helen, I was at the Western Union office

wiring my parents the better part of my weekly pay

which it is my honor to do (coughs), and, uh...

this cable came for you.

Did you hear?

Davis Lynch was under house arrest in Rangoon...

And Helen is on her way to New York to see him.

Oh!

Davis is on his way here to see me.

I've got to get Joe out of here

before he comes. Why?

Because I can't let Joe know that I never...

ALL: Never...

what?

Never mind.

Joe?

Finished!

Oh...

I love this.

You, me, the middle of the day.

Joe, I need you to do something for me right away.

Ditto.

Listen, you know...

Joe, I've been thinking

and I really want those monogrammed towels now.

Huh? Oh, okay.

I'll get them the next time I go to Boston.

No. No!

I need you to get out and get me those towels now.

Now?

You want me to fly to Boston just to pick up some towels?

Just some towels?

They're not just some towels.

Those are...

monogrammed towels...

with initials on them.

Our initials.

Big "H", little "J", little "H".

Those towels are a symbol.

A symbol of what?

A symbol...

Well, if I have to spell it out to you

then what's it all about, baby?

Helen, I have urges.

Can't this wait an hour? Half an hour?

(panting)

We can take care of this in three minutes.

Joe, if you love me and you care about us

and care about building our lives together

you'll get on the damn plane and get me my towels!

Big "H", little "J"...

All right, all right.

I'll go and get the towels

but I just want to tell you one thing.

Right now...

little "J" is not very happy.

Where you going?

Apparently, I'm flying to Boston

to pick up some monogrammed towels.

I'm going to Boston. I'll pick them up for you.

I love you, man.

No!

It's got to be Joe.

He's my husband.

Those monogrammed towels mean nothing coming from you!

Why are you so full of hate?

Helen, do I really have to...?

Have a good flight. Bye-bye.

Oh, gosh. What am I going to do?

What am I gonna say?

What's with her?

Davis Lynch was under house arrest in Rangoon.

And she was on her way to New York to see him.

But now he's on his way here

to see her, so she's freaking out.

Why?

Because she never...

She never... what?

(chuckles) That's what we want to know.

"Never" what, Helen?

Yeah, never what?

Yeah, what's going on?

What is it that you "never"?

Okay.

I never broke off my engagement with Davis,

and he's on his way here to marry me.

(all gasp)

Wait, wait. I don't get it, Helen.

How could you still be engaged to Davis?

You're married to Joe.

Well, that's why they call it a problem.

So you never broke it off with him?

I thought you did it that night

that Joe proposed to you in that elevator.

That's the story you told us.

Well, I never told you the whole story.

Mmm...

Joe, we're here.

Where?

Davis's floor.

I've got to go in and break the news to him.

Okay, okay.

I'll go with you. Joe!

A girl doesn't bring her fiancé with her to dump her fiancé.

I was brought up better than that.

What am I going to say to him?

Well, how about, "All those who think

"they're marrying Helen take two steps forward.

Not so fast, Lynch."

Okay, all right, all right.

Look, I really...

I really do feel for the guy.

I'll just wait downstairs.

Thank you for being so sensitive.

Davis, dear Davis...

sometimes in life things happen that we don't plan.

I never meant to hurt you.

I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.

(rapidly): Davis, dear Davis...

sometimes things happen in life that we don't plan.

I never meant to hurt you.

I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.

Davis...

Helen!

Oh, Helen!

I'm so glad you're here.

Davis, dear Davis...

Oh, that's not it.

You know... when you were late

I actually started wondering if you were having

second thoughts about getting married.

Oh, no.

I'm getting married.

Oh, of course we are!

But right now,

it's time to start celebrating.

Davis, dear Davis...

sometimes in life things happen...

And thank God they do!

You know, for years I was wondering

if I'd ever find the right person.

To tell you the truth,

my family was getting a little nervous.

I mean, look at me. I'm in my 30s,

I'm still single.

Let's face it, there was talk.

Well, this ain't going to shut them up.

Before yesterday,

if somebody had asked me if I was happy

I'd have said, "sure."

But being here with you now

I realize that my life began

the moment you said you'd marry me.

Champagne?

You bet.

Helen, you might want to pace yourself a little bit.

Davis...

dear Davis...

sometimes in life things happen

that we...

Are they here for me?

Nah. I do this instead of television.

(laughing): Of course they're here for you.

I want this to be

the most memorable night of our lives.

Oh, it's going to be.

Um... Davis...

(clears throat)

(loudly): Dear, dear Davis,

sometimes in life

things happen

that, um, we...

Take five, boys.

Why don't you go wait in the library

with the horn section?

Davis, you have to listen to me.

There's something that I have to say.

Well, sure, honey. Oh, wait a second.

Come here, come here, come here.

(laughing): It's almost time. Come here.

All right, you see Times Square?

Mm-hmm.

Well, keep your eyes on the electronic billboard.

Three, two, one...

"Helen, you're my love. You're my life.

"You're my everything.

Knicks trounce Bulls..."

No, no, no, just the first part.

Well, sweetheart, what do you think?

Davis...

Davis, dear Davis...

sometimes in life things happen...

ALL: Surprise!

When my family found out that we were getting married

they insisted on meeting you immediately.

Oh, good.

Helen, I would like you to meet my mother.

Hello. I'm Mavis.

You don't know how long I've waited for this day.

Welcome to our family.

Oh, Mavis, dear Mavis...

And this...

is Grammy Lynch.

Hello, Grammy.

She's got a little surprise for you.

This ring...

is the one that my grandfather gave her when they got engaged.

She wants you to have this.

No, no, no, I could not do that.

Okay.

Now, Grammy, come on!

Come on, now.

Come on, we had a deal.

No, Davis, really, I can't...

Yow!

Whoo!

Boy, you got to love a rock like that, huh?

Hey! I just had the most amazing idea.

Why don't we get married right now?

What?

We're here. Why not?

My whole family's here.

You couldn't swing a dead cat in this room

without hitting a judge.

Come on, what do you say?

What do I say?

Um...

what do I say?

Helen!

Oh, my goodness!

Is she all right?!

Helen, what is it?

Grammy, keep your hands off that ring!

Everybody, come on, give her some air.

Give her some air.

Helen... Helen, are you all right?

Am I all right?

No.

I'm not all right.

I have a condition.

What are you talking about? What condition?

It's, um...

Faulkner's syndrome.

It's one of your really bad syndromes.

Um... trust me.

You don't want to marry someone with Faulkner's syndrome.

Or as we call it, the big "F."

Helen, nothing on earth is gonna stop me from marrying you.

I'll get you the best doctor in the country.

No. See, I've already seen the top Faulkner man...

Doctor, uh... Dickens.

He's the top Faulkner man,

and he says that it's hopeless.

Helen, nothing is hopeless.

Not where love is concerned.

Davis, it's a call from your office.

Mom...

They say it's urgent, dear.

Yes?

What?

Oh, my God. When did this happen?

I...

Yes, of course.

Helen?

Hm?

This is gonna sound crazy,

but I have to leave for Burma immediately.

What?

I have an enormous amount of money invested in Rangoon.

And if I don't get there right away, we could lose everything.

Oh, okay.

Now, don't you worry.

As soon as I get back...

I'm going to get you a specialist.

We're going to beat this... Faulkner's thing.

I swear.

I don't even have time to pack.

They're sending a chopper to take me to the airport.

I'll call you as soon as I get back.

Helen...

I love you.

Yeah, yeah.

Back off, Grammy.

And then he left, and I never saw him again.

So he doesn't know about Joe?

Well, I was going to tell him, but he never came back.

He's gonna be here any second.

How are you gonna break the news to him?

I don't know.

I mean, do you have any idea how much this man loves me?

I mean, the thought of marrying me

was probably the only thing

that kept him alive all those months.

My, don't we think a little bit of ourselves.

What am I going to do?

Well, I'm not just saying this because Joe's my brother,

but, um...

I really don't think you should marry this guy.

Hey, what's the matter with you people?

You're missing the real point.

I mean, nobody has asked the important question here.

What happened to that big-ass ring?

Oh, right, the ring.

You kept it in the cash register?

I couldn't very well keep it at home.

(whistling) Joe would have found it.

Oh... you're a pretty little ring, aren't you?

Yes, you are.

You want to come home with me?

You do? Okay.

Give me that.

I just figured out what I'm going to do.

What?

I'm going to get the hell out of here.

Helen?

Davis.

Oh, dear... Davis.

Helen...

Hello.

God, I thought I'd never see you again.

I read what happened to you in the paper.

Are you all right?

It was really terrible.

I wasn't free to leave.

I wasn't allowed outside contact.

And for the last three months

I think the chef was just going through the motions.

Hey, Hackett.

Nice to see you.

How's your brother?

Great. He's married now.

Oh?

Great girl. You'd love her.

We need to talk in private.

There's so much I have to tell you.

There's so much I have to tell you.

You might want to let her go first.

Wow.

It's been so long since I've seen you, Davis

I don't know where to begin.

Well, I do.

You're even more beautiful than I remember.

Oh, Davis...

Oh, you poor thing.

One second we're at our engagement party,

and the next I disappear off the face of the earth.

Oh. Hey, you were captured in a military coup

and held prisoner for 16 months

in a foreign country.

It happens.

It was killing me

to think that you didn't know where I was.

It must have been hell for you.

Well, it was hell-ish.

What did she say? What did she say?

Shh. It was hellish.

What was that?

It was hellish.

What?

It was hellish. Hey.

She said it was hellish.

What's hellish?

(all gasping)

Casey lost an earring.

We can't find it.

And it's hellish.

I've got a flashlight in my office if that'll help.

Oh, here it is. Oh, I got it.

No, I got it.

The earring.

Hey, listen, what are you doing back here?

We thought you were in Boston looking for towels.

Oh, they weren't ready.

What do you mean, "they weren't ready"?

It was just a misunderstanding.

It's not even worth talking about.

Not worth talking about?

I mean, they're your towels.

My sister and brother-in-law's towels.

My brother and sister- in-law's towels.

My friend's towels. My good friend's towels.

We want to hear the whole story.

Well, I will tell you. Just let me put my...

No, no, no.

We want to hear it right now

while it's still fresh.

Yeah, we don't want to miss any of the colorful details.

Well, actually, it's a very interesting story.

Did you know that terry cloth...

comes in four different weights?

Four weights? Get out.

I couldn't believe it either.

You're a remarkable woman, Helen.

You waited for me all this time.

Oh, I'm not that remarkable.

Davis, dear Davis,

sometimes in life things happen...

Yes, they do.

Things happen that we don't plan.

Exactly.

I am sorry...

Helen, I can't marry you.

You can't marry me?

I know this is a shock, but I've met someone else.

You can't marry me?

No.

In fact, this woman and I, well, we're engaged.

You can't marry me?

Helen, we need to get past that part.

Wasn't it the thought of me that kept you alive all those months?

Well, it did for the first... couple of weeks,

and then I met Caroline.

Oh! How could you?

We were engaged.

Haven't you ever heard of self-control?

Well, I admit it.

I'm not as strong as you.

Well, that's for damn sure.

So, who's the bimbo?

She's a cultural attache for the State Department.

She risked her life, crawling through sniper-infested jungles

just to secure my release.

There's always someone better, isn't there?

Doesn't this ring mean anything to you?

Right. The ring.

Uh, look, this is embarrassing

but I'm going to have to ask for that back.

Fine. Take it.

I don't want it anyway.

It's stuck.

Here, let me help.

Help?

My God, haven't you done enough?

So, instead of having

big "H", little "J", little "H"

they had big "J"

little "H", little "H".

That's outrageous!

Of all the incompetence.

Well, I guess it's time to face the music.

Where's Helen?

Well, she's not in the office, that's for sure.

Uh, she's in the kitchen.

In here.

Relax, Davis, I'll get it off.

I'll just go in the kitchen and get some butter.

No, no, no, you can't go in there.

Why not?

Anybody?

Well, because we... we...

we spilled a cup of "joe" in there.

ANTONIO: That's right.

While we were eating

sloppy (coughs) "Joes" in there.

Davis, there's no need to hold you up.

I'll just get the butter, slide this baby off

and pop it in the mail. Hey, hey, Helen,

you don't just pop a 6.5 carat diamond in the mail.

Oh, right.

Roy, come here.

Oh, there.

Here.

Have a nice life. Good-bye.

I understand how you feel, Helen.

Well, she's not in the kitchen.

Oh, Helen, there you are.

Hi, honey.

Listen, I got some really bad news.

Oh?

It's about the towels.

Helen, I can't let it drop like this.

Lynch?

Hackett?

What are you doing here?

I came here to see Helen.

Why would you come to see Helen?

Well, actually, that's between me and her.

Well, actually, no, it's not. She's my wife, so...

Your wife?!

Helen, what's going on here?

Yeah, Helen, what is going on here?

Faulkner's!