Original subtitles

Hey, Hackett,

where in the hell is this incredible mechanic you hired?

He was supposed to be here half an hour ago.

He's not here yet?

Brian, what is the story? You said this guy was great.

Yeah, he sounded great over the phone.

Hold on, you hired this guy without ever meeting him?

Listen, he had amazing qualifications--

I mean, the guy was a Marine.

You know, the few, the proud...

the willing to work for what Lowell made.

All right, I got the 9:00 flight.

You're gonna do the pre-flight check.

Aw, man, why me?

Because you screwed up

and left us without a mechanic.

Pre-flight complete

and plane ready for inspection, sir!

You must be Budd Bronsky.

When did you get here?

4:00 a.m., sir!

4:00 a.m.?

I'm sorry, sir, I overslept, sir!

Well, I'm Brian Hackett.

Spoke to you on the phone.

This is my brother, Joe Hackett.

Pleased to meet you, sir!

How you doing, Budd?

You really don't have to call us "sir."

Oh, speak for yourself.

Roy Biggins, owner of Aeromass.

Report!

All Aeromass aircraft prepared

and ready for flight, sir!

(laughs)

Nice to meet you there, Budd.

Welcome to Sandpiper.

Someone owes me an apology.

I'm sorry, sir!

It'll never happen again, sir!

Did it.

Did it.

Did it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

I...

No, I did it.

Joe.

(stamps floor)

Sorry, I thought Joe was in here.

You must... be the new mechanic.

Hi. Budd Bronsky.

Antonio Scarpacci. How do you do?

Glad to know you, Tony.

I don't mean to be, uh, standoffish,

but, uh... the man you're replacing, Lowell,

was one of my dearest friends, so...

may take me a little while to warm up to you.

Gotcha.

Did it.

Nothing to do with you personally, you know.

I understand.

Did it.

But you seem like a pretty nice guy,

so maybe if I have some time later,

I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

I'd really like that, but I'm kind of swamped.

What about tonight?

You free for dinner?

I mean, you got to eat, right?

I usually brown-bag it.

What do you want me to do here, beg? Okay.

All right, look, Lowell's history.

I got nobody here, please.

What do you got, ice in your veins?

Hey there.

Easy, big fella.

Uh... I'll have a cup of coffee with you.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

Oh, so, Casey, how's the job search coming?

Well, what do you think I'm better suited for

dry cleaning spotter or a fishmonger?

Well, it depends.

What's more important to you--

money or glamour?

CASEY: Oh!

You know who that man is?

That's Y.M. Burg!

(gasps)

My goodness!

Right here on Nantucket.

Who is Y.M. Burg?

Well, he's a very famous architect.

He's designed museums and libraries

and some of the most beautiful houses in the world.

Excuse me, Mr. Burg?

Yes?

I am a big admirer of yours.

I just love your use of neoclassic lines.

So, so spare, so crisp, you know.

Just totally rejecting

the traditional order of ornament.

Well, thank you very much.

You seem to know a great deal about architecture.

I like to consider myself a student of all things cultural.

FAY: Uh, Casey?

Acme Rid-A-Rodent is on the phone

about that gal Friday job.

Oh, oh, my God!

This could be my big break!

Wish me luck.

(under breath): Good luck.

Hey, Helen.

Let me ask you something.

How would you like to build

a beautiful new house in just two months

and do it all without hiring some money-grubbing architect?

Here, check this out.

"Prefab housing kits--

"from the lumberyard to your yard,

they are pre-fabulous."

Excuse me, do you plan to buy a house from a kit?

Yep. All you need is a hammer

and a Visa card.

I don't know, Joe.

Do you really want to mail away for a house?

I sort of had my heart set on a little Cape Cod

with a little picket fence and window boxes...

That would be #8, the Nor'easter.

Excuse me, may I see that, please?

Sure, yeah. Thank you.

Hey, ah, if you're interested,

if we order two houses,

the third one's only a penny.

Uh, I'm just curious--

is this going to be your first house?

Oh, no, we had a wonderful house,

but it burned down.

We lost everything.

Oh, no, that's awful.

Yeah. Happened when we were on our honeymoon.

Oh, my God!

You're newlyweds and your house burned down?

I can't imagine anything worse.

Yeah, now we're living with relatives.

That would be worse.

I don't know, honey.

When I thought about building my house,

I mean, I really wanted

to pour my whole heart and soul into it.

But, hell, I say we go with the Captain Toby.

No, no, no, no, please, I can't let you do this.

Look, I'm something of an architect myself.

(chortles)

And considering what you two have just been through,

it would be my pleasure to build your house.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Y.M. Burg.

Thanks, but these people are professionals.

I can see that you're going to be on a budget.

So I'd even be willing to cut my fee.

Hey, I know what this is about.

Housing market is pretty rough right now.

Must be tough finding work.

These prefab people, they seem to be doing pretty well.

Maybe they're hiring.

Yeah, why don't you give them a call?

And don't give up!

Well, thank you.

I'll just keep plugging away.

Good luck to you.

You, too.

Hope you find a job.

So...? What were you talking to him about?

Oh, gosh... get this.

Poor guy was so desperate for work,

he practically begged to build our house.

He offered to build your house?

What did you tell him?

No, thank you.

Oh, wait, Y.M. Burg offered to build your house

and you turned him down?

I'm going to be sick.

Why? Who's Y.M. Burg?

Who is Y.M. Burg?

Okay.

Architecture Monthly.

Let's see...

Okay, Y.M. Burg.

I mean, this is just a little beach house

he built in Monaco for somebody named Princess Caroline.

Oh, my God.

That is the most beautiful house I've ever seen!

Maybe we can catch him.

Helen, I can't believe you would insult a man like Y.M. Burg.

Like you knew who he was, Mr. Pre-fabulous.

Oh, me?

What about you?

(mimicking): "Well, good luck.

Hope you find a job."

Hi. We're Joe and Helen Hackett.

We have an appointment to see Mr. Burg.

Oh, yes, of course, the Hackett house.

You hear that, honey?

We're a house.

He's running a little late.

Please, make yourself comfortable.

Great, thanks.

Wow! Look at

all these incredible buildings he's designed.

Isn't this great?

(weakly): Yeah.

What? What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

It's just that now that we're here

I feel so out of place.

Now, Helen, cut that out right now.

We're not some schmoes

that walked in off the street.

Y.M. Burg chose us for a reason.

Frankly, I think he was impressed

by my knowledge of prefab.

So I just want you to relax, okay?

All right. Be yourself.

Joe, Helen.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

But you know how the mayor is.

Oh, yeah, mayors.

Oh-ho...!

don't they just?

Please.

Come in,

come in, come in.

(sigh of satisfaction)

Wow! Your office is beautiful.

Well, thank you, I'll tell the designer.

Oops! That's me.

(laughing)

Okay, ice broken.

Please, sit.

Now...

let's build a house.

I've been batting around a few ideas, but...

first, I want to hear what you've been thinking.

Well, a lot of our neighbors

have the classic Cape Cod,

you know, with the little white picket fences

and the window boxes...

Good, now we know what to avoid.

How can I put this in, uh, laymen's terms?

How do you feel about geometric

free-standing space?

Well...

We love it.

Excellent!

All right, now, tell me about your lifestyle.

For instance, do you do a lot formal entertaining?

Well...

Oh, constantly.

Joe, drinking a gallon of water

and doing your big tummy trick

does not constitute formal entertaining.

(laughs)

Oh, isn't she delightful?

(laughs heartily)

Mr. Burg, I've got that call for you.

Thank you.

I've got to take this.

I'll be right back.

But, while I'm gone,

I want you to think about... chiaroscuro lighting.

Yes...

yes!

Oh, this is going to be fun.

I am so glad that we are simpatico.

All right.

(hushed): Be right back.

What is wrong with you?

Geometric free-standing space?

Maraschino cherry-o lighting?

Joe, why aren't you telling him what we want?

Look, Helen, you don't tell Rembrandt

how to paint a portrait

and you don't tell Y.M. Burg

how to design a house.

Now, if you were just a little more open-minded,

you would be simpatico, too.

I will say this though--

he could use some fresher snacks.

That's potpourri.

Oh, hey, Budd, Budd.

Hey, got to take off now.

Have you done the...

Pre-flight's done, sir!

Oh. Great, great.

Listen, man, I just want to tell you

that I think you're doing one hell of a job.

Happy to be working here, sir.

Happy to be working anywhere since the incident.

Uh, what...

what incident?

Nothing.

Have a nice flight, sir!

(sighs)

Helen, you ready?

We're supposed to be at Y.M.'s office at 3:30.

Ready.

We're going to see our plans.

I'm really getting excited.

Hey, hey, are you going to see that Burg guy?

Mm-hmm.

Do me a favor.

Ask him what he charges to do a rumpus room.

I'm thinking of

busting out a wall and putting in a foosball table.

Yeah, right, Roy.

Y.M. Burg is going to give up

a wing of the Smithsonian to panel your rumpus room.

Not if he don't come in with the lowest bid, he won't.

Mr. Burg?

Helen, Joe.

I'm so glad to see you.

We are so excited.

We are, too.

Oh.

Listen, this is, uh...

this is a little embarrassing, but, uh...

I was lunching with a friend from Architecture Monthly

and I happened to mention my new residential project

and, uh, well, they want to document the Hackett house

from start to finish.

I hope a little publicity

won't be too much of an imposition.

Well, guess a little press goes with the territory.

(Burg chuckles)

Yeah, Joe, you're a real media magnet,

aren't you?

Well, are you ready to see your house?

Yes. Yes, we are!

Well, all right, then!

Here it is.

The Hackett house.

Th-that's it, that's our house?

Extraordinary, isn't it?

It's...

it's a seven.

It's pure form.

What do you think?

Oh, well, Joe, go ahead

and tell him what you think.

I love this!

I am trying to understand

how you can love a house like that.

Okay, I admit it is a somewhat unorthodox design.

It's a seven.

Look, Joe, I could not have married a man

who wants to live in a number.

I could not have made that big of a mistake.

Admit it, you hate it.

I don't hate it.

Oh... you got to hate it.

Of course I hate it, it's a freaking seven!

But he's Y.M. Burg and what do we know?

What if we're wrong and it turns out great?

I don't want to be known as the idiot

that turned down the Y.M. Burg house.

This is just one of those real bad lose-lose things.

So what are you saying?

I'm saying we bite the bullet and live in the seven.

Okay.

All right.

All right, how does this work again?

The master bedroom is on top

and, in the morning, we just slide down to the kitchen?

Helen...

Helen, he already explained why there can't be stairs.

Oh...

Oh, Joe, this is all out of control.

All I wanted

was a little house

with a nice little white picket fence.

A little garden... a place

where we could have a family.

And be together.

A place...

that someday might have an ounce of resale value.

What am I doing?

I...

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Why do we care what anyone else thinks?

You know what?

You are going to have that house that you want.

Come on. Where we going?

We're gonna go to Boston

and tell Y.M. Burg

there's no way we're gonna live in a number.

Oh, thank you.

Now, we're sure about this, right?

Maybe that seven

will just blend right into the neighborhood.

Only if our neighbors build an eight.

Did it.

Did it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no...

No, I did that.

Hey, Roy, let me ask you something.

Hmm?

If you knew somebody who had...

something like...

I don't know, some sort of incident in their past,

what would you...

What are you looking at me like that for?

What did you find out?

Damn it, those records were supposed to be sealed!

Don't you believe in a fresh start?

BUDD: Oh, my God!

What, wh-wh-wh... what's the matter?

Nothing.

Oh, uh, by the way, um, that plane...

where is it?

Uh, well...

if it's not here,

then, then Joe must have taken it.

Oh, so he might still be out on the runway?

I'm going to go for a walk.

Not to worry.

Already took off.

God in Heaven, not again!

Okay, Budd, Budd!

Budd, what's going on? What's going on?

Joe and Helen in danger?

Is there something wrong with the plane? Come on!

All right, all right, I'll tell you.

I forgot to double-check the windshield wiper fluid.

God!

That's it?

I, I think, uh, it's about time

you and I had a, a little talk.

About what?

The incident.

Oh, come on, come on.

Whatever it is that happened

I mean, can't be that bad, right?

I mean, it's not as if you, you downed a plane, right?

Huh?

Right?

Huh?

Oh, God...

I hired a mechanic that downed a plane.

Oh, God.

There's probably a perfectly good explanation, huh?

My kitty was sick.

Sick kitty.

I'd been up three straight nights

and Sergeant Whiskers,

he-he just couldn't pee!

Please tell me that's your cat.

Yes.

Okay.

Budd, Budd, Budd,

focus now, focus, okay?

The incident.

There any casualties?

No.

Thank God.

But two joint chiefs and a senator had to bail.

And, uh, there's no longer a town in Iowa

called Taterville.

Just tell me what happened.

I have been over that in my mind a thousand times.

Did I tighten the bolt?

Did I tighten that bolt?

Did I tighten the bolt?!

Okay, and... Budd? Budd?

Did, did you?

Oh, man, I've been asking myself that.

Did I tighten the bolt?

All right, well...

Obviously you just have a loose bolt somewhere.

But, uh, I mean, there must have been an investigation.

Yes, and the board of inquiry cleared me.

Oh, well, so? Let it go.

I keep trying, but...

I can't shake the feeling

that it might have been my fault.

All right.

Listen, Budd, uh...

I've been screwing up most of my adult life

and generally it is my fault.

All right?

But I just try to live by this simple creed:

"So sue me."

So sue me.

I like it.

Budd, you're a great mechanic.

You're a nice guy.

You just got to learn to stay cool and, uh,

and not panic.

I believe I can do that, sir.

Good.

Uh, my 2:30 from Boston's about ready to take off

and the pilot wants to be sure

you checked the latch on the cargo door.

Sure did.

Or did I?

Did I check the latch?

Did I check the latch? Did I...

Mother of God!

Helen, the more I think about this, the madder I get.

I cannot believe that that guy

almost talked me into building a seven.

Not only am I going to go in there and fire him,

I am going to tell him off.

No, now, Joe, let's not make this any worse.

Why don't you let me go in there and handle it?

Well, all right, Helen,

but don't let him talk you into anything.

He can be very persuasive.

No, not with me. I'm just going

to go in there and calmly tell him

that we'd like to live in a house

that's actually house-shaped.

(knocking)

Excuse me, Mr. Burg?

Helen, I didn't expect to see you.

Listen, um, we have talked it over

and, well, frankly,

we're a little disappointed

about the house.

Disappointed?

I am furious!

Those fussy tradition-bound oafs

on the Nantucket Architecture Board

didn't approve our plans.

Can you believe it?

(flatly): Oh, what an outrage.

Well...

you sure tried.

Thank you, I'll see you later.

No, no, no, no, no.

Now, I promised you a Y.M. Burg house

and, by Godfrey, you're going to get one.

Well, you know, really, you don't have to.

We're just not worthy.

Well, that notwithstanding,

um, the board wants traditional,

so I'm working up a little sketch.

That's fantastic.

Well, yes, for a Cape Cod, it is quite wonderful.

Oh, look, it's got a window box for every window.

(gasping)

Stairs.

Oh, God, I love it.

I just love it. It's beautiful.

Oh, my God, it's happening again.

What is going on in here?

Joe, I love the house now.

I told you not to let that big phony

talk you into anything.

Joe, shut up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, I want to hear this.

You want to hear this? Okay.

It's a seven and it's goofy.

Joe, please... No, Helen, let me finish.

I think you're pretentious, your buildings are weird,

and your potpourri tastes like crap.

And if you think

for one minute that we are going to raise our family in this...

this...

incredibly beautiful, tasteful home

you are absolutely right.

Wow! Is this ours?

Not anymore.

No! No!

(phone rings)

WOMAN: Hello, Pre-fabulous Housing.

Hi, this is Joe Hackett.

I'd like a quote on the Nor'easter.

Hey, Antonio, thanks for lunch.

I hope I didn't bore you with that story about my neck.

Uh, no, no, no, no. It was fascinating.

Listen, you know, I really don't want you to think

this is going to be a regular thing.

I'm just not looking to replace my good friend Lowell.

I understand.

So, do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?

Um, nope.

You do now.