Original subtitles

Last week on Wings...

And just for the record,

what happened between me and Casey

was just a one-time thing.

It will never happen again.

Fire!

Fire!

Fire?

Fire!

Let's get out of here!

What is that?

It's a welcome-home gift for Joe and Helen.

We already gave them a welcome-home gift, remember?

We burned their house down!

You did this?

It was an accident.

It was... it was... it was

one of those freaky "bra in the fireplace" things

you always read about.

This time it was the house.

What's it going to be next, my children?

That's a chance I can't afford to take.

I... just don't have it in me anymore.

What are you saying?

I'm saying I want you out of my life.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy!

Oh.

Oh, wow.

(screams) (screams)

What are you doing here?

What do you think?

Returning to the scene of the crime.

Oh, god. They filed charges?

Don't worry. Arson carries a three-to-five stretch.

You'll still be a youngish woman when you get out.

But, you know,

actually, when you look at it

in the daylight, it's not so bad.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Although, technically, nothing remains standing.

Work with me, Brian, okay?

I've been here since dawn, trying to salvage something

so Helen doesn't kill me.

Hey, hey, I got my own problems, all right?

My brother wants to cut me out of his life.

I've never seen such contempt on a human face.

Well, except maybe that time at the dentist

when the hygienist asked me if I wanted suction

and I said, "Where?"

Ugh!

That's the look. That's it.

You didn't happen to see that look

on Joe's face this morning, did you?

Oh, no. I've been keeping a very low profile at that house.

By the way, where'd you sleep last night?

Roy's.

Ugh!

It's not that bad.

You just have to follow a few rules,

like, after midnight, lock yourself in your room

and don't come out, no matter what you hear.

Oh. Oh! Look at this.

This hardly burned at all.

Helen will be thrilled to get this back.

Helen? No, no, no, that... that's not Helen's.

That belongs to me and Joe.

My God, I didn't even know this was here.

It's not even burnt or anything.

Our dad... our dad left this to us when he died.

Tough. I saw it first.

Hey, hey, no, listen to me for a second.

Joe wasn't speaking to me for, like, six years, okay?

And so Dad put a photograph of us in the suitcase,

so that, when we'd open it up and see it,

it would bring us back together.

It's still there.

Oh, man.

Oh.

"You're rich."

You're rich?

No. No.

No. It's just Dad's way of telling us

that we're rich because... we have each other.

This is going to fix things with Joe.

This is going to fix them.

Great.

You've got your peacemaker.

What about me?

I mean, look at this place.

Helen will never speak to me again.

And maybe I deserve it.

Oh, come on now.

It's not your fault.

It's... nobody's fault.

It isn't?

Of course not.

It's not like we're... bad people.

We're not?

No.

Baby...

Oh...

you, uh... do you want to go upstairs?

There is no upstairs.

We are bad people.

Oh.

(laughing)

Scarpacci, it's good to see you laughing again.

I guess with enough anti-depressants,

even coffee is funny.

No, no, no.

I'm on a natural high.

It's called vendetta.

Brian and Casey

will soon learn

that nobody makes a fool of Antonio Scarpacci.

Oh, yeah?

(chuckles)

What did you do?

I had a few pizzas delivered to Casey.

How many did you send?

Two dozen.

Cost me a pretty penny, but, uh, it was worth it.

You paid for the pizzas?

That's right.

Toy with Antonio Scarpacci,

you get burned, my friend.

(laughs wickedly)

Hey, Chappel,

you're the last one I expected to see here today.

I'm sorry to hear

about your house.

Oh, thanks, Roy.

So, how are you holding up?

Better than my house.

Glad to see you're taking it this way.

You got your sense of humor back.

Well, what's done is done.

I mean, the house is gone, and I've put that fire behind me.

There is no smoking at the lunch counter!

Morning, Brian.

Hello.

Hey. How you doing, roomie?

Roy, we're not really roomies.

Sure, we are. We share a pad.

What do you call it?

Surreal.

(knocking)

Hey, Joey, got a minute?

Can I talk to you?

Yeah. Come on in.

Uh...

uh, a lot of things were said last night

and, uh, I know things are pretty weird between us now,

but this morning

I went back to, um... to...

The charred ruins of our former home?

Right. The bad place.

And, um...

look what I found.

Is that Dad's suitcase?

That's right.

It's the only thing that survived the fire.

This is a sign.

No, Brian, it should have a sign:

"Cheap, ugly luggage."

What do you want?

Well, um... okay.

You're not going to believe what's inside of this.

Take a look.

So?

So?

Well, I bet you don't remember what this is.

It's the picture Dad left us.

Right! And... I bet you don't remember

what's written on the back.

It says, "You're rich."

Two for two. Okay.

I'm going to jump right into the lightning round.

I bet you don't remember what that means.

It means that... that we're rich

because we have each other.

No, no, Brian. It means the nuthouse was right

when they lured Dad into that van

with a net and a Chunky.

(knocking)

Joe Hackett? Yeah, that's me.

Hi. Al Skoog. We have an appointment. Excuse me, excuse me.

We're right in the middle of something important here.

No, no, come on in, Mr. Skoog.

My brother and I were just finishing up.

Oh, yes, the brother.

Party of the second part.

What? What is this?

Brian, Mr. Skoog is an attorney.

I hired him to handle the dissolution of our partnership.

You hired a lawyer?!

Look, Brian, I want everything to be absolutely legal

and, uh, Mr. Skoog comes highly recommended.

"Al Skoog, steam cleaning:

"Carpets, upholstery and draperies.

'Don't just clean it, Skoogerize it.'"

It's my other business.

"Al Skoog, attorney-at-law.

"Corporate, civil and bankruptcy.

'We're not just good, we're Skoogerrific.'"

Joey, Joey, why are you doing this?

What did you expect, Brian?

You thought you'd come in here, show me that picture

and I would just melt away and say, "Brian, all is forgiven"?

Is that what you thought?

I thought that you'd take a look at this

and it would make you at least think

about what it is that you're doing.

This case isn't going away, is it?

No. It is not. Brian, look.

I really think that, uh, you'll come to see

that this is the best thing for all of us.

Yeah, yeah. No, you're right, you're right.

Because you know what's best for everybody.

Well, fine. You got your way.

I'm out of here.

You look a little down.

It's all right. I'll be okay.

Listen, I own a bar in town.

Come on, I'll buy you

a pitcher of Skoogaritas.

Yes. Just send those Encyclopedia Britannica

to Mr. Brian Hackett.

Right. Right.

Yes. Uh, 627 Cherry Street, Nantucket, Massachusetts.

(laughs): Yeah!

Chump.

Uh, name on the credit card?

Yeah. Antonio Scarpacci.

Hi, honey.

Hey!

Listen, I was thinking

why don't we go out to dinner tonight--

that new rib place.

Ooh! Somebody found a coupon.

Oh, listen, by the way,

have you seen Casey this morning?

Casey? I would think she'd be the last person

in the world you'd want to see.

No. She's exactly the person I'd like to see.

What? Aren't you furious with her?

Oh, yes, and she will pay.

She will pay dearly.

Everybody has a soft underbelly, Joe.

You just have to figure out how to rip it open.

Honey, uh, you scare me a little bit

when you talk like that.

Then don't ever cross me.

Okay. I'll remember that.

Helen? Um, I went to the house

to try to salvage something for you,

but... the place is toast.

So just go ahead and get angry

and whatever you're going to do to me

just go ahead and get it over with.

Oh, please, Casey.

It was an accident.

Accidents happen.

I'm okay with it.

Oh!

Thank you, Helen.

(nervous chuckle): Wow!

I mean, I was so worried.

Really! I couldn't eat,

I couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking and thinking--

"What is she going to do to me?

Oh. Is that... my dress?

Oh, this?

Oh, yeah. I guess it is.

My original Valentino

that I bought in Paris, that he altered himself

on his own hands and knees?

Yeah. Fits me good.

Um, you know, all my stuff was destroyed in the fire,

so I just grabbed it this morning.

But it was stored in a zipped bag

way, way, way back in my closet.

Whatever. Hand me those ketchup bottles.

What do you want with these?

Oh, I got to fill 'em up.

Oh! Oh. You know what?

How about if I just do that for you?

Oh, that's all right.

It's my job. I need to do this.

You know what?

Why don't you just...

Aren't you going to change first?

Oh, no, honey.

It would be just silly

to do that because after this

I've got to go clean the grease traps.

Hold those bottles.

Okay.

Hello! I'm back!

Fay! Hi! Welcome back.

Oh, thank you!

How was your cruise?

Oh, it was enchanting.

Joe, Iceland is everything they said it is.

Well, that's why they call it the land of...

Iceland.

Oh, it was wonderful.

Joe, we sailed to Reykjavik

Kopavogur, Hafnar... (mumbles) ...fjordur.

And the best part, Joe, I met a man: Lyle.

I fell, Joe.

I fell hard.

Oh, that sounds very romantic.

No, I mean, I fell hard during the lifeboat drill,

but Lyle was there to pick me up

and then we talked and talked

and got hammered on chi-chis.

Joe! Flight was great.

Oh, and you were right.

That plane handles like a dream.

Good. Scott, I want you to meet Fay.

Fay, this is our new pilot, Scott Sommers.

Nice to meet you!

Pleasure. Pleasure.

It's about time you got somebody to help out.

You and Brian have been running yourselves ragged.

Well, actually, Fay,

Brian doesn't work here anymore.

What are you talking about?

I bought Brian out of Sandpiper.

Uh, we're no longer partners.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I mean, you boys have had your rifts in the past,

but what in the world could justify

your kicking your own brother out?

He was having sex with Casey and he burned down our house.

That will do it.

Welcome aboard.

Yes, Lyle, I got the pictures back from our cruise.

There's a wonderful one of you on the lido deck

in your cute madras shorts

and your black knee socks.

I want you bad.

(knock at door)

Hey, honey, are you busy?

Well, I'm in the middle of...

What are you wearing?

Chanel.

You don't own a Chanel.

I do now.

Look, what is going on with you and Brian

is between you guys

and it's not my place to interfere.

Thank you. But here's how it's gonna be.

You are not gonna let Brian leave Nantucket and that's that.

I am not forcing him to leave.

Joe, come on.

How can he possibly stay here

with what's going on between you two?

I don't own this island. He can stay as long as he wants.

Joe... Look, I-I

don't want to talk about this anymore.

You know, I can't change the way I feel

and if Brian feels the way he does

and wants to leave, that's his decision.

This surprises me.

I-I cannot believe how unfeeling, how calculating,

how cruel you are to your own flesh and blood.

Um, Helen, have you seen my...

(gasps)

(screaming)

Think about it.

Oh, Hackett, don't leave.

But...

Hey, hey, hey.

Pull yourself together.

But I still don't understand why you have to go.

Roy, with everything that's happening

between me and Joe, it's just too hard to work here.

But-But-But what about us?

I opened up to you.

I know you did, and I'm glad it was me.

Anyone else would have notified the authorities.

Oh, Brian, there's a phone call for you.

No, there's not.

(evil laugh)

Watch your back!

(laughing)

Oh, better yet, watch the mail.

You're getting a big box from Eddie Bauer!

(knocking, door opens)

Uh... be out of here in a minute.

I just want to pack my up stuff.

I already took care of it.

Hey, what took you so long, Joey?

Oh, uh, don't forget your suitcase.

Dad left that to both of us when he died.

Yeah, well, I don't want it.

Neither do I.

MAN: You're not throwing away

my good suitcase, are you?

That's genuine imitation alligator.

Dad?

What are you doing here?

You tell me.

Oh, all right, okay, okay, I get it.

I know why this is happening.

Everyone else is sticking in

their two cents about Brian.

Well, you might as well, too.

Well, why not?

Just because I'm dead,

it doesn't mean I don't have opinions.

You know what? Whatever it is, I really don't want to hear it.

So I'm just gonna close my eyes,

and when I open them, you're gonna be gone.

Boo!

(screams)

I could always get you with that one.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy, other dads did crazy stuff

like help their kids with homework or coach soccer,

but my father, he knew the value

of a well-placed whoopee cushion.

Come on, Joe, lighten up.

You're always so darn serious.

You know what? I hate it when people say that.

"Joe's the serious one. Joe's the uptight one.

Brian's the fun one."

Well, excuse me, but someone in this family had to be responsible.

We certainly couldn't count on you.

So I flipped out a little. Can you blame me?

Your mother wakes me up one morning and says,

"The boys' beds are made, your breakfast is on the table,

I'm moving to Phoenix, and you're not."

Now I think, under the circumstances,

I behaved very well.

Yeah, Dad, you were a rock.

I'm just a kid.

I get a call from the Women's Auxiliary.

"Come and get your father.

He's at our chili cook-off and he's nude."

I still don't think that was any reason to disqualify me.

Joe, what I came here to tell you...

Yeah, I know what you came to tell me.

Brian's my brother. He didn't mean it.

He's just like that.

Well, how the hell would you know what he's like?

I am the one that raised him.

I'm the one that made his dinner, I got him to school.

I'm the one that took care of him when he had the flu.

In the night, when he woke up with a nightmare,

he came to me, not to you.

So, whatever you have to say, I don't want hear it.

You don't have the right to say anything.

Okay.

But I'm going to say it anyway.

I'm proud of you.

What?

Look, the way you were brought up,

you had every right

to be in one of those sniveling support groups,

saying, "Hi, my name is Joe, and I've had a bum childhood."

Hey, those things help.

Look at all you've accomplished:

You have a successful business,

you married a great girl,

and you've grown up to be a hell of a guy.

You want money, don't you?

Joe, look,

what I came here to tell you is that I think

that you're doing the right thing about Brian.

Really?

Absolutely.

Rebuild your house, get on with your own life

and tell Brian to hit the highway.

Believe me.

It's no big loss.

Usually, people don't see their families

except around Christmastime and birthdays anyway

and you know what nightmares they can be.

Tell me about it.

Every year is worse than the last.

Remember your 13th birthday?

That was the one where I bought you

the bicycle and it came unassembled?

And Brian thought it was a great idea

to surprise you by putting it together himself.

Oh, yeah, right.

He did a pretty good job, too.

He just left out

that one teeny, little unimportant thing--

the brake pads.

You remember the first thing you did?

I put away the box and filled out the warranty card.

I mean after that.

Uh, yeah, yeah, right.

I went to the top of Suicide Hill

and raced straight down at full speed.

Right.

That wasn't funny. I could have gotten hurt.

The only thing that saved me

was crashing into that snowman.

That was no snowman.

That was the Mather kid in a white parka chewing on a carrot.

(laughing)

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's right.

That's right. Oh, wow.

I was so angry with Brian.

I don't blame you.

He tried to kill you.

He didn't try to kill me. He just...

just wasn't thinking.

He was trying to surprise me.

Yeah.

Well, that's ancient history.

Take care of yourself, kid.

You leaving already?

Yeah, you've had enough family for one day.

And, look, no second thoughts about Brian.

You're not going to miss him.

After all, you didn't miss your mother.

You don't miss me.

I never said I didn't miss you.

Well, you never said you did.

Well, I guess...

I just didn't realize it till you were gone.

Well, that's a damn shame.

Because now...

all you can do is...

miss me.

Don't go.

Uh... I'll just take the last box, and I'll go.

I'll let you know

where to send the last check, okay?

Well...

(grunting)

have a nice life.

Brian?

Yeah?

Don't go.