Original subtitles

( upbeat piano theme playing )

Moon River

Wider than the Nile

My bother's name is Lyle

Okay

Lowell, wo-- Would you cut that out?

Oh, I'm sorry, Joe. It's just the lyrics.

They're so haunting.

Uh, Joe.

Something very important has come up,

and I need the afternoon off.

What's wrong? Are you okay?

I-I wanna go to the circus.

The circus?

Um, well, Fay, all our regular flights are booked.

We have a charter this afternoon.

There's all this paperwork.

I-I'll give you a moment to think it over.

Joe, you'd better give her what she wants.

Never underestimate the lure of the big top.

Smell of the peanuts, smell of the popcorn,

smell of that little car when all 17 clowns pile out.

Lowell, how would you know--?

Wrong place. Wrong time.

Enough said.

( door opens )

Well, what have you decided?

Well, Fay, I just can't let you have the afternoon off

to go to the circus.

Okay, I understand.

I quit.

( upbeat theme playing )

Fay, this is ridiculous.

Hey, what's going on?

W-well, I-I'm 62 years old,

and I've never been to the circus.

What's going on is I wanna to the circus,

and Joe won't let me.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't blame him. It is a school night.

Brian, look, you're not helping.

Fay just quit because I wouldn't let her go.

Well, no, i-it's really not just about the circus.

I mean, I've been thinking about it for months.

Uh, I'm not getting any younger,

and there are a lot of things I wanna do,

um, like go on a cruise, uh, maybe take a few classes,

work in my garden. I mean--

Honey, maybe you just need a vacation.

No, I need more than a vacation.

I've been working since I was 20, and--

And-- And I just think it may be the right time for me to retire.

Uh, no way. No way. You can't retire.

But, Brian, my mind's made up.

No, I mean, on what we pay you, there is no way you can retire.

I can't believe this, Fay.

You've been here from the beginning.

Remember, we started with nothing.

It was just you and me. And now look at us.

It's you, me...

and Brian.

Without you, company picnics will be really dull.

Isn't there anything we can do to make you change your mind?

No, I'm afraid not.

It's-- It's time for me to move on with my life.

I don't know what to say. We're gonna miss you.

Fay, listen, uh, a few tips about going to the circus.

Get there early to avoid the crowds.

Uh, don't fill up on cotton candy.

And don't sit up front.

Uh, the clowns will mess with your mind.

( circusy theme playing )

I just can't bear the thought of Fay retiring.

Ah, I'm gonna miss her.

Her sweet smile and her cheery voice.

Just-- Just seeing her every morning, year after year,

has made my life a little more special.

Oh. By the way, here's what you owe for the party.

What? I hardly know the woman.

Wow.

A party like this only means one thing:

You got change back from your 20.

Hey, Fay would wanna leave Sandpiper

just the way she came in.

Drunk?

That was first day jitters.

No, I meant plain, simple, not a lot of fanfare.

Well, you nailed it. ( door opens )

JOE: Oh, ooh, good. Lowell's got the cake.

Let's...

( grunts ) ( chuckles )

Lowell, this was supposed to say "Good luck, Fay."

Instead it's just a lot of squiggly lines.

Well, ahem,

actually the bakery made a Magic Eye 3-D cake.

You know, all you have to do is relax your eyes,

focus on the cake, and an-- And an image of Fay will appear.

I don't see it. I don't see it.

I don't-- Oh, God. She's naked as a jaybird.

Yeah, I was wondering what they were doing

with all those sprinkles.

Hi.

Oh, wow. Casey, those are beautiful.

Wow, you went all out.

Well, it's the least I could do.

In the short time that I've known Fay,

I've grown quite fond of her.

Oh, that makes me feel bad. I didn't get her anything.

Well, actually, you did.

Here's your credit card back.

Oh, my God.

Can't we have just one party on this island

without the big sandwich?

I mean, by now even you people should be sick of it.

Y-- Oh-ho-ho, wow.

When you said you were going all out,

I figured the All-American.

Maybe the Fiesta.

I never dreamed you'd spring for...

the Cordova.

Okay, let's get Fay in here

and get the party started, huh?

Shhh, keep your voice down. She's gonna hear you.

No, no, she won't.

I sent her out to shovel the slush

off the runway.

What?! You sent a woman her age

out in the cold to do manual labor?

Hey, I didn't wanna ruin the surprise.

It's her day.

( knock on door )

Shh. There she is. Oh, come in.

All right, I'm finished shov--

ALL: Surprise!

Oh, my goodness.

Is this a retirement party?

Oh, I'm so touched.

( gasps )

The Cordova.

Speech, speech, speech. Now, now, wait, wait, wait.

Before you all get started, I-- I have something to say.

( clears throat )

This party has got dull written all over it.

So I'll just take a hunk of this to go.

See you, Cochran.

Well, listen, uh,

instead of giving the same old boring farewell speech,

I thought it would be fun if we roasted Fay.

Hey. Okay?

Uh, I'll start. I'll start.

Uh, "Boy, that Fay.

"How about her breath after lunch?

It's-- It's bad."

Uh, Lowell. Lowell--

"And-- And how about the way she dresses?

It's just bad."

No, Lowell--

"And have you ever driven in a car with her?

"She drives bad.

"Fay, I think I speak for all of us when I say,

you're really bad."

( chuckles )

Fay, um, there is something that Brian and I would like to say.

That's right.

You-- You've always been very special to us.

You've been here since the beginning, and honestly,

without you, I don't think there would have been a Sandpiper.

That's right, Fay. You're the--

You're the heart and soul of this airline,

and, um, we don't know what we're gonna do without you.

Just know that no one could ever replace you.

Excuse me. I'm here about the job.

Ahem. Yeah, I'll be there in one minute.

So here. Just a little gift.

It's a necklace with an airplane on it. Love you.

Uh. So, um, how about a few words, Fay?

Oh, no, I couldn't. Okay, let's eat.

Oh, a-a-although I suppose a few words would be in order.

Uh, it all started in a two-story row house in Syracuse.

Today they call them townhouses.

In-- In New York they call them brownstones--

Oh, that's beautiful. Let's eat. Okay.

Before we start, could you tell me what the position pays?

Absolutely. I think that you'll find

our salary is very competitive in today's marketplace.

( laughing )

We'll let you know.

FAY: My very first trip on an airplane was to Albany.

Or was it Buffalo?

Oh, really? I never knew that. I'll be right back.

Shoot me.

Well, what happened with the woman?

Ah, we were pretty far apart on the money.

Mm, she wanted some?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Helen, what am I gonna do?

I-- You know, she was the only one that answered the ad.

Fay is leaving. I need someone today.

Worry no more.

I have the perfect person for the job.

Really? Who?

Casey.

No. No, no, no.

Why not?

Well, eh, to steal a line from Lowell: she's bad.

Joe, she's smart, she's a quick learner,

and she just needs somebody to give her a chance.

Look, Helen, even if I had a severe lapse in judgment

and agreed to it, she makes Brian nuts.

I'd never be able to get him to agree to it.

FAY: Let's jump ahead to 1984. Reagan was reelected,

and a plucky former stewardess...

Woman's lived for many years, not one interesting story.

Not one.

How'd the interview go?

Uh, well, she laughed at the salary.

She laughed at the salary, huh?

Must have wet herself when you got to the benefits, huh?

Okay, well, um, I'll leave you two alone

'cause I know you have some business to discuss.

Hey, uh, Brian, what do you think about Casey?

Ugh! I didn't want her to come to the party either.

Well, what do you want me to do? Want me to kick her out?

Okay. I can-- I can do it quietly.

No. No, no, no.

No, um...I'm thinking maybe we should ask her

if, uh, she wants to take Fay's old job.

Are you out of your--? What? Casey? Ugh!

Well, why not? She's--

She's smart, she's a quick learner.

She just needs someone to take a chance on her.

Look, she'll never take the job anyway.

FAY: And when he said New Bedford,

I thought he said New Hartford.

( laughs )

I laughed till my sides ached.

( laughs )

Casey, uh, could we see you for a second, please?

( Fay, Lowell laughing )

Freedom.

Well, what is it?

Fay was just gonna tell us about the time

that she served Jan Murray a kosher meal.

Well, uh, Casey, I wanted to ask you something.

Uh, we were wondering if, um, uh... Come on, come on.

Come on, it's like ripping off a Band-Aid. Do it quick.

You wouldn't wanna work for me and Brian, would you?

Work for you?

Are you serious?

Right. Stupid idea. Enough said.

Oh, I'm flattered. Um, yeah, of course I will.

Y-yeah, but-- But--

But, uh, we didn't even tell you about the salary.

Well, that doesn't matter.

What's important is that you think enough of me

to take a chance on someone with no qualifications, no experience

and no training.

Um, say something, Joe.

Welcome to Sandpiper.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Hi.

Oh, I see your final destination is New Orleans.

Well, that is a beautiful city.

Now, you make sure to ride the streetcars

to the Garden District so you can take a walking tour

of the homes. Okay?

Bye-bye, now.

So, Joe, what do you think?

She's great.

And who was right about it?

Aw, come on, Helen. Don't make-- Who was right?

Aren't you being a little--? Who was right?

You were. Thank you.

Well, gotta go.

You just reminded me. I gotta get my dog fixed.

Hey, Joe, uh, I don't know about Casey.

I think she's alienating the passengers.

You think she's really doing okay?

You kidding me? She's bright, she's efficient.

If she knew how to fly, I'd dump you in a heartbeat.

She's-- She's been here for three days,

and she's-- She's changed everything.

Oh, yeah, that's right. She's updated our ticketing system.

She's put all our files on the computer.

And she's even scraped your spitballs off the ceiling.

And on whose authority?

Woman's a climber, Joe.

I miss Fay. She wasn't ambitious or efficient.

Yeah, I gotta admit,

it is kind of strange looking over there and not seeing Fay.

Wonder where she is right now.

Pfft, you kidding? She's probably on some cruise,

sipping mai tais, sitting in a hot tub.

Please, please.

I'm getting another cake flashback.

Hey, hey.

You guys have gotta listen to this.

I made a tape of Fay's last days.

It's a collection of her quaint sayings, bits of humor,

uh, you know, anecdotes.

I call it: "The Best of Fay."

Here-- Here's one of my favorites.

FAY: Lowell, watch the counter for a second.

I've gotta hit the head.

Lowell, did you do the preflight check?

Oh! Oh, you know what? Uh, the altimeter's on the blink,

and I can't get another one until tomorrow.

Aw, damn. All right.

Well, go tell Casey to cancel the flight.

Roger.

Oh, this is great. This is great.

N-not only are we out of business for the day,

but now the passengers are gonna be furious.

We got-- We gotta bail Casey out.

She's never gonna be able to handle this.

Attention, Sandpiper passengers, I have an announcement.

Hey, hey, she's talking. Take it outside.

Go ahead, honey.

Sandpiper regretfully announces

that due to unforeseen circumstances,

Flight 19 to Boston has been cancelled.

However, if you will follow me to Aeromass,

I will be happy to assist you

in making alternate arrangements.

I guess she did okay.

Okay? Yeah, right. I remember Fay's first cancellation.

I believe her exact words were:

"Uh, now, do you wanna be late, Mrs. Carter,

or do you wanna be the late Mrs. Carter?"

Well, I booked all of our customers on Aeromass

and gave them 50-percent-off vouchers

for the next Sandpiper flight.

Vouchers?

You don't get vouchers if we crash.

Well, excuse me if I'm wrong,

but it just occurred to me that it was worth the discount

to keep them on as loyal customers.

And it seems to be working,

'cause one of the passengers was so grateful that he gave me

these Celtics-Knicks tickets for tonight.

Oh-ho-ho-ho, okay. I see.

So, uh, because we're grounded,

you think you can just take off early

and go to a basketball game? If you'd let me finish,

I was going to say I'm giving them to you and Joe.

( laughing ): Oh, really?

If we cut out now, we can make the opening tip-off.

Let's grab a seat on Aeromass.

Well, uh, that's not going to work,

because I put our passengers

on that flight and it's all sold out.

Oh, great.

We get tickets to the Celtics game--

What, it starts in two hours. What are we gonna do?

There's a 5:00 ferry to Boston.

You'll make it in plenty of time.

Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hey, what do you say we drop a few bucks on the game, huh?

Yeah, well, that's a great idea, but who are we gonna take?

Ewing's out with a sprained ankle, and Oakley's in a slump.

Take the Celtics, skip the points.

Okay, break's over. Get back to work.

( upbeat theme playing )

( horn blowing )

Would you move it? I don't wanna miss the ferry.

Listen, will you relax?

We're ten minutes early, for crying out loud.

Besides, I don't get a runs-like-a-Swiss-watch feeling

out of this place.

What did you bring these binoculars for? Hey-hey.

We got floor seats. We're five feet away from the action.

Yeah. So how else am I gonna look at the cheerleaders

when they're on the other side of the court?

As your big brother, let me give you a little advice: grow up.

Hey, Earl, will you take my 6:00 ferry tomorrow night?

I got a hot date.

A little advice from your big brother.

You should get married like I did and settle down already.

Hey, I settle down every night. Get it?

Why can't you grow up and--? And take life more serious?

You can't get by forever on your looks.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Those guys remind you of someone?

No. What are you talking about?

Hey, let me have some change. I wanna get some candy.

FAY ( over PA ): Attention, Wind Surfer passengers.

Ferry 3 to Boston is departing from Pier 1.

Now, she looks familiar.

Fay?

Hey, Joe. Hi, Brian.

Fay. Fay, what are you doing here?

We-- We thought-- We thought you retired.

Oh, well, I was going to go on a cruise,

and-- And then it was all booked up,

so I had a little extra time on my hands,

and this wonderful opportunity came along.

Uh, Fay, we got another dead squid stuck in the engine.

We're gonna have to dangle you over the side again.

Um, it's-- It's-- It's not as bad as it sounds.

Uh, so, uh, what--? What are you two doing here?

Well, we're just going to the Celtics game.

The plane's down.

Fay, what are you doing working in a place like this?

Well, I-I know that it doesn't look like much on the surface,

but-- But this job is really fulfilling.

Time for your wetsuit, Fay.

Fay, come on.

Wh-what is going on? The truth.

W-- I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, come on.

Standing behind a counter in a terminal

making stupid announcements.

I mean, what kind of life is that?

Oh, well-- Well, I, um...

Um...

Well, I-I mean, it-- It turns out

that retirement isn't all that I thought it would be.

I mean, I imagined I'd be doing all these wonderful things,

and the truth is after a few days

I-- I didn't know what to do with myself.

I was lonely, and I missed everybody.

( sighs ): So why didn't you just come to us?

Oh, how could I? I was so embarrassed.

I mean, I-I made that big fuss about retiring.

And-- And you threw me that wonderful party,

and everybody got so teary-eyed at my speech.

Mmm.

Yeah, the second hour was particularly moving.

Fay.

W-we're family.

We would do anything in the world for you.

You would?

Oh, Fay, of course. Anything.

I want my old job back.

( melancholy theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

( inaudible )

Pssh. I hate this.

I'm no good at firing people, Yeah, me either.

Why do you think you're still working here?

I'll do it.

( clears throat )

I like it.

The look of fear in their eyes when you say,

"Could I see you in my office?"

The way their lower lip starts to quiver

when they know what's coming.

( chuckling )

Yeah. Hey. Hi.

Hi. Heh-heh! Heh-heh!

So who's gonna fire her?

Well, fair is fair. I'll flip ya.

You're the one who wanted to fire her since she started here.

Well, she grew on me.

I thought she was gonna be bossy and overbearing.

All right, look, let's both go over there.

We'll bite the bullet and do what we have to do.

Yeah, you're right.

This is no time to wimp out.

The one thing we do know is we can't keep 'em both.

( melancholy theme playing )

FAY ( over PA ): Attention, Sandpiper passengers.

Flight 20 is now boarding at Gate...

One.

BOTH ( in unison ): Have a nice day.

Hey, guys. Heh-heh.

I just heard a great joke.

How many Sandpiper employees does it take

to change a light bulb?

Four. Two to change the bulb

and two other idiots to pay 'em for doing it.

You know what, Roy? That is the difference between you and us.

At Sandpiper, we're not just about the bottom line.

We're about family.

And, uh, just like family, they're bleeding us dry.

Hey, Fay.

You know, when you left Sandpiper,

you left some pretty big shoes behind.

Oh, thank you, Lowell.

It's nice to be missed.

No, I-- I mean you left some pretty big shoes

behind the counter.

What the hell size are those gunboats, anyway?

Did you want something, Lowell?

Uh, I-- Yeah, I need you to sign this requisition.

Thanks.

Um, I was just curious.

Why did you get to sign that?

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

If you wanted to sign it you should have

just said something.

Although I do have seniority.

Well, that's true, you do.

Although, you did quit, so technically,

this is your first day.

Well, the next time you'll sign it.

I mean, it was just a silly requisition form.

I mean, who cares?

Uh, by the way, um, I-I know that we're sharing a locker now,

and I am delighted to do it.

But it is getting a little cramped,

what with your ten different outfits, your pedicure basin

and your facial steamer. ( scoffs )

Well, if you'd just remove your clodhoppers,

we'd have room for a dinette set in there.

You know, not to harp,

but when you checked through the last passengers' luggage

you didn't use my new color-coded destination tabs.

( mockingly ): "Color-coded destination tabs."

My, aren't we fancy?

You know, ever since you came back here,

you have dumped on every improvement that I have made.

Oh, yeah? Well, l-l-let me tell you something.

I've been working here for ten years.

You've been here one week.

You've got a lot to learn.

Well, I've already learned one thing:

I am sick of working with you.

Look, there isn't enough room out there for the two of us.

One of us has to go, and we all know who that is.

I took this rinky-dink operation into the 20th century.

And if there's one thing this job has showed me,

it is that I have got talent, brains,

and I can walk into any office anywhere,

and score a better gig for better pay.

So for God's sake, for once in your life,

act like men and make a decision.

Attention, Wind Surfer passengers,

there will be a slight delay in the departure

of the ferry to Hyannis

while our maintenance staff

removes a dead squid from the engine.

( upbeat theme playing )

( sighing )

Look, I cleaned your squid, I scraped your barnacles.

I even bucketed your chum.

But I am through. From now on, I stay behind the counter.

I took this rinky-dink operation into the 20th century.

And if this job has showed me anything,

it is that I have got talent and brains.

And that I can walk into any office anywhere

and score a better gig for better pay.

So for God's sakes, for once in your life,

act like men and make a decision.