Original subtitles

( upbeat piano theme playing )

ANNOUNCER: Last week on Wings:

So, uh, ahem, I just got off the phone

with the reunion coordinator, right?

Guess who's coming back: Sara.

You're not thinking of starting things up

again with her, are you?

So is your husband coming?

Oh, very subtle, Brian.

I know.

Actually, I'm not married. Oh.

What are the chances of us having dinner tonight?

Sure. Great, great.

It'll be like old times, you know?

Just-- Just you and me.

Hey, Mom, look what the pilot gave me.

Oh...

( dance music playing )

I'm having a great time.

Me too.

You know, I've never come out and told you this

but you were quite an inspiration to me

in high school.

And you are the reason I became a mechanic.

The mother ship is landing on the east side of the island.

Would you and Jason like to move to the island

and live with me?

Well, I have to think about that.

Joe, there's something--

Well, it's about Jason.

What's up?

There is a good chance that Jason is your son.

( mellow upbeat theme playing )

Joe, I don't understand why you wanted to talk here.

Well, because when Helen was standing ten feet away,

I really didn't feel comfortable saying,

( shouting ): "What do you mean Jason is my son?"

I know this comes as a bit of a surprise--

No, no, no, no.

Seeing Steve Bennet walk into the reunion with his boyfriend

was a bit of a surprise.

We-- We were only together that one time.

Are you sure I'm the father?

Well, there's a slight possibility

that he's somebody else's.

( sighs )

I-- I can't believe this is happening.

What do we do now?

Well, I think you're gonna have to take a test.

Well, that's no problem. Ask me anything.

A blood test.

To make sure you're really Jason's dad.

( sighs )

This does not work.

This does not fit the plan at all.

Why did you wait so long to tell me?

Look, Joe, I knew you weren't ready to be a father,

and I didn't want my kid to feel unwanted by anyone.

But in the last few days,

I just realized that Jason needs to know his dad.

You know, seeing him with Brian and--

Oh, my God!

Brian a-a-and Helen! What about Helen?

You know, Brian and Helen are very excitable.

They might not handle this as well as me.

Yeah, you're a rock.

Okay, look, I-I-I--

I just want you to know, Sara, that if it turns out

I am the father, I will do whatever I can to help you both.

I'm not the kind of guy that runs away

from something like this, okay?

There's no shame involved.

Thanks.

But, uh, until then,

let's not tell another living soul.

( upbeat theme playing )

Oh, now, Antonio, stop it.

Valentine's Day is the perfect time to ask Casey out.

Ah, I don't know.

Oh, now, Antonio, any woman would be lucky to have a man

as charming as you.

Now take that toilet paper off your shoe,

and go sweep her off her feet.

Uh, Casey?

Yes? Fine, thank you.

You know...

I-I was, uh...

I was just wondering...

( stammers )

( sputters )

Roy? Mm.

Let me ask you a question.

If you were sentenced to die in the electric chair,

would you let me be your lawyer?

No, but I would let you sit on my lap.

Well, that's very nice. ( chuckles )

You know, I come to you when I'm vulnerable, at a low point,

'cause I made a career choice based on the advice

of my lunatic shop teacher.

You know, I could've been somebody, Roy.

Hm. I could've been an architect.

I could've been a doctor.

I could've replaced that dried-up dude

in the Rolling Stones.

Which one?

The one that looks like he's been through a food dehydrator.

Which one?

( knock on door )

Hey, Hackett,

I couldn't help noticing

uh, you seemed a little down this morning.

Wh--? No. No, no. Everything's fine.

There's nothing the matter. Are you sure?

You got that look on your face, like, uh, I don't know, uh,

weather's a little dreary, business is off,

your brother's girlfriend accused you

of fathering her kid.

Oh, my God.

How did you know?

I was working late last night in the terminal.

I overheard everything.

Look, Hackett, tell me this is none of my business

and, uh, I'll butt out.

It's none of your business.

Sure it is.

All right, Roy, what's this gonna cost me?

Hey.

Hey, Hackett, this is not about money.

I wanna be your confidant.

You?

Why not me?

Hey, I can do sympathy.

Uh, I-I don't think so, Roy.

Oh, come on, Hackett, confide.

No, forget it. Confide.

No. Confide, confide, confide.

Oh, all right!

I-I gotta talk to somebody. The guilt is killing me.

( sighs )

I guess...

maybe I should just tell Brian the truth.

Yeah. Yeah, that's-- That's what I'll do.

And then... somehow I'll tell Helen.

Come here.

( scoffs ): You gotta be kidding me.

Come here.

Hey!

Hey.

What was that?

Listen to me, Hackett.

What good is it gonna do you to tell them now?

If that kid turns out not to be yours,

you're gonna put everybody through hell

for nothing.

You know what? You're actually right.

( laughing ): Of course I am.

Boy, they say you get a good warm feeling

when you help out your fellow man.

( normal voice ): Maybe it'll kick in later.

What did Roy want?

Roy? Ro--

( blows raspberry )

Uh, Roy.

What does Roy ever want? He...buh.

What did I tell you about sniffing that Liquid Paper, Joe?

Hi.

Hey, there's my guy. Mom's in the car.

Oh, great. Well, I'll tell you what. Uh...

Wait right here. Be back in a second, okay?

Okay. All right.

Is this your office?

Yeah.

( sighs )

Oh, my God. You're neat.

I'm sorry. Grown-ups usually like that.

Let me ask you something.

When, uh, one of your friends breaks their arm,

do you hate it when everyone writes all over their cast?

Yeah, it gets all messy.

And when you go to bed at night, you put your shoes in the closet

do you make sure they're lined up perfectly without touching?

How can you sleep if your shoes are touching?

Come here!

I-I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

Uh...ahem.

Here. Uh...

Why don't you go buy yourself some bubble gum or something?

Fifty bucks?

Thanks!

You wouldn't give me 50 bucks when I needed a tetanus shot.

Come on, Uncle Brian.

( chuckles )

Hey, um, he calls me Uncle Brian.

Gee, get used to it.

( upbeat theme playing )

Hey, Antonio.

Listen, uh, you know, I'm considering a career change,

and I was wondering

what's involved with being a cab driver?

Oh, well, uh, um, people ask me to take them places.

And I do.

Wow.

That sounds too involved.

Hey, Fay.

What you got there?

Uh, it's a love note I wrote to Casey for Valentine's Day.

Oh, oh, well, actually I wrote it for Antonio,

but he doesn't know anything about it.

I-I'm sort of playing Cupid.

Oh, there you are, Casey.

This arrived for you.

Oh, what is it?

Oh, it looks like a-- A note for Valentine's Day.

How intriguing.

"Meet me here tonight at 6:30.

"I hope you won't think it's too flirty.

We'll have dinner, drinks and dessert-y."

Well, I think it's kind of pretty.

( rings )

Sandpiper.

Yes, this is Mr. Hackett.

Blood test? What blood test?

Uh, well, y-you must be talking about Joe Hackett.

I'm his brother. But wh-what's the matter--?

Yeah, all right.

Okay. I'll have him call you.

Oh, Joe, uh, someone just called

about you having had a blood test?

Oh, my God.

What were the results?

Um, well,

they just wanted to know if you had your insurance card.

What's up, man?

Uh, no.

Hey, Joey, Joey.

Joey, if it's something,

I mean, let's go through this together, okay?

Wh-what is it? What is it?

Is it your kidney? ( scoffs )

No, Brian. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Mi kidney es su kidney, you know?

It's not my kidney.

Oh, my God, it's the ticker, then, isn't it?

Look, i-it's-- Hey, hey, hey!

Mi heart es...

Well, it's mi heart.

But, you know, we're gonna find you a new one.

We're gonna find you a new one. We got the plane.

We're gonna get Lowell's beer cooler,

we're gonna get some dry ice, and we're not gonna stop looking

until we find one.

Be quiet. Shut up.

Sit down and listen to me.

All right. All right.

Well, God, I mean, wha--? What--?

Look, uh...

this is not easy for me to say.

A few months after you and Sara broke up,

we bumped into each other, and...

Well, a funny thing kinda happened.

How funny?

Well, not-- Not funny like laugh-out-loud funny.

More kinda...whimsical.

How whimsical?

Sara and I slept together one time.

There's a good chance Jason is my son.

You slept with Sara?

How could you do this to me, man?

I-- I never would have done this to you in a million years!

Uh...

point of order, uh, you ran off with my fiancée.

Aw, come on. You can't compare that.

You can't compare the two, man.

It's like apples and oranges.

No, it's not apples and oranges.

That is apples and apples.

Oh, okay, so I take your apple, right?

You take my apple? No, no.

It's an apple thing now?

Hi, are you ready to go, honey?

Which, uh--? Which "honey" are you referring to, huh?

I told him.

Oh.

Look, Brian.

Um, I should have told you right away but, um...

I just didn't know what your reaction would be.

Okay, well, look. Look closely, okay?

See? See this?

This is my reaction.

Just calm down a second and let me explain the situation.

Fine, fine. No, no. Let--

Let us talk about this situation, okay?

I thought that we were gonna have an honest,

meaningful relationship.

And then I find out that you slept with my brother.

That suddenly I'm the only guy who doesn't know

that he's playing Daddy to his own nephew here?

What I did after we broke up is none of your concern.

Besides, you're the one that walked out, remember?

Oh, oh, yeah. I remember.

So you took it upon yourself to go sleep with my brother?

Hey, I am not about to apologize for something that led to

the birth of the best person who has ever come into my life.

And one more thing, nobody "plays Daddy" to my son.

Especially you.

( door closes )

Thanks, Joe.

ROY: You just wouldn't listen, would ya?

( upbeat theme playing )

( knock on door )

Helen?

HELEN: Coming.

Happy Valentine's Day, Joe.

Helen, you're not ready to go.

Wrong. I haven't been this ready since I saw Mel Gibson's butt

in Lethal Weapon.

Honey. Baby.

Could--? Could we just, uh, talk for a second?

Oh, sweetheart, really, I don't need that this time.

Look, um, do you mind if I turn on the light?

Hey! Lights are on!

We're doing some new stuff now!

Joe? Yeah?

Move something, kiss something, or get the hell out.

There's something really important I have to tell you.

( phone rings )

Hello?

Yeah, just second.

It's Roy.

( sighs ): Yeah?

Don't do it. Do not tell her.

No, Roy, I am going to tell her.

I cannot keep a secret like this from Helen.

She has to know!

( sighs )

Joe?

Honey, uh, what I am gonna tell you is pretty bad.

It's gonna affect our whole relationship.

It's about me and--

Oh, my God. You and Roy?

No.

No, no.

Me and-- And Sara.

Brian's Sara?

About seven years ago, we spent one night together.

It meant nothing.

What? You spent the night with Sara?

She's been here all this weekend and you didn't tell me?

Honey-- Just give me a second.

Okay.

All right. That was a long time ago.

We weren't seeing each other then.

You know, if this is the worst news we have to deal with,

we'll be all right.

Just remember,

you can always tell me anything.

In that spirit, there is one more little thing.

It seems there's a good possibility that Jason is my--

How do I put this?

--son.

Just remember, you can always tell me anything.

Helen. Helen.

( hyperventilating ): You have a son?

Well, um, it's not absolutely sure.

I took a blood test and, uh, we should know tomorrow.

Is that it?

Any more bombshells? Well, I--

Come on, what do you take me for?

Sara and I slept together one time.

We only have one illegitimate child.

( crying ): She is not supposed to have your baby.

I am.

It doesn't matter.

Our children will be our children.

Are we gonna be okay?

( tender theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Hi, Lowell.

Oh, hi, Jason.

What are you doing?

Oh, I was, you know, just drawing Wally the Walrus

to see if I have what it takes to be a famous artist.

Don't you like being a mechanic?

Like it?

Ah, it's the reason I live and breathe.

Then what's the matter?

( laughs ): Oh, Jason.

Oh, if life were only as simple as your childlike innocen--

Of course!

I-it's been staring me in the face the entire time!

You're right.

If being a mechanic is what I was meant to be,

then, by jukey, I'll be happy doing it.

Okey-dokey. See ya.

Wait a second.

What other knowledge do you possess, my wise little master?

( upbeat theme playing )

Come on, ring.

The lab was supposed to call 20 minutes ago.

Any word yet?

No.

Well, um, if you have any room for a--

A pig-headed jerk who said a lot of stupid things

and, uh, lashed out at people without thinking,

I'd like to stay.

Sit down.

S-Sara, do you mind?

Sit down.

Can I have the comfortable--?

Sit down!

Agh, this is ridiculous.

We gotta do something to get our minds off of this.

Hey, oh, okay. How about we play, uh, Geography, okay?

I'll go first.

Miami Beach.

Miami Beach. Come on.

Brian, Miami Beach. Ends with H,

so you name a place that starts with H.

( snorts )

Hell.

Sara, that's an L to you.

Londonderry.

Londonderry. Y to you, Helen.

I'll give you a "Y":

why is this happening?

Why is there a little Joe Hackett running around?

Why couldn't you two keep your hands off each other?

That's an R to you.

( phone rings )

Sandpiper.

Yeah, speaking.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Are you sure?

Okay. Thank you.

I'm not the father.

Oh, yes! Yes, yes!

Not that he's not a cute, nice little boy.

Hey, Helen, do you think you could show

a little sensitivity?

Come on, I think they need a moment alone.

Oh, well, at least that's over with.

Now we can get back to us.

Hm? Yeah.

What?

What's wrong? Well...

Tsk.

Uh, Joe's not the father,

but Jason does have a father.

Now I know who he is. Oh.

What difference does that make?

I-- I can be Jason's dad, you know? I can.

And where--? Where--?

Where's this guy been for seven years anyway?

In San Francisco.

He doesn't even know he has a son.

I think I owe it to him and Jason to call him and tell him.

But--? But what about us?

I would love to stay here with you.

But this is something I have to do.

Jason has to come first.

You know, m-maybe in a few months.

A few months? Okay.

Yeah, yeah. In a few months, you know--

Hey. Hey! --we'll call each other.

If you had a kid like Jason out there,

wouldn't you wanna know about him?

Oh, of course I would. But, uh--

Brian, wouldn't you want the chance

to be a part of his life?

( mellow upbeat theme playing )

Oh, Antonio, now this time don't even think about it.

Just go over and say whatever's in your heart.

Casey, I just want to say that I love you,

I adore you, you're beautiful,

and not-- Not a moment goes by where you're not in my thoughts.

Oh, I'm sorry, Antonio. What is it?

( speaking gibberish )

Jason, would you give these tickets

to that nice man over there?

Yeah, or, um-- Or you can give 'em to Roy.

( sighs )

Heh.

Mm.

I wish that wasn't a goodbye kiss.

Me too.

I got the tickets.

They said we can go right on.

Okay.

Come here.

Come here, you.

Come here you guy, you.

( grunts )

Are you gonna come and see us?

Uh, yeah. I hope so.

I mean, I'm gonna try.

Listen, don't you be too sad.

Uh, gotta go. Bye!

Uh, Jason, wait.

We never finished our conversation

about fate versus free will.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat piano theme playing )