Original subtitles

( upbeat theme playing )

( indistinct chatter )

Oh, my God.

( stutters )

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Um, man-- Uh, you're--

You're Ray Charles, aren't you?

That's right.

Oh, man, I-I'm a huge fan of yours.

And, uh, my girlfriend and I--

We listen to your music all the time.

And, well, she's not my girlfriend anymore

but-- But...

Oh... Oh, you know something?

This would be perfect, this would be perfect.

Listen, Ray...

Uh-- Mr. Charles, sorry.

My girlfriend and I just recently broke-up

and no matter what I do she won't take me back.

I mean, I've tried everything.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

What a sad story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Well, uh--

Okay, you know your song:

"I Can't Stop Loving You?"

Oh, yeah, I've heard it.

( laughs )

Of course, I-I...

You sing it all the time, I mean...

Well, anyway, um, uh--

My girlfriend, Alex--

That's her name, Alex.

--that is her favorite song

and I was thinking that, uh--

She's standing right over there.

If you were to just go over to her

and just sing a few bars of "I Can't Stop Loving You"

and say it's from Brian,

she would take me back in a second.

What do you say? Huh?

W-w-w-would ya do it? Huh?

Would ya? Huh? Please?

No.

( upbeat theme playing )

Hey, Joe. Hey.

Uh, listen, this morning on your landing

did you by any chance

hear a really scary grinding noise

coming out of the port engine?

No, why?

Ah, it's probably nothing.

No, wait, hold on.

If you think you heard something

you probably should check it out.

You're right.

It's better to be safe

then really, really sorry.

Oh, Joe, the man from the bank is here.

Oh, all right, send him in.

Fay, uh--

Think I have a chance of getting this loan?

Oh, of course I do.

You're not just saying that, are you?

Of course I am.

Uh, right this way, Mr. Thompson.

How do you do, Mr. Hackett? Steve Thompson.

Hi, nice to finally meet you.

Uh, please, uh-- Call me Joe.

Okay, I trust you were able to put the figures together for me.

Yeah, yeah, I got the, uh, tax returns

and the profits and loss statements from last five years

right here.

You're staring at my head, aren't you?

No, no, I'm not. Yes, you are.

No, I'm not, I'm just looking at your hat.

You're a Red Sox fan, huh?

You wanna know what's under the hat, don't you?

No, I don't. Yes, you do.

All right, all right, I just had

a little work done on my hairline.

You're repulsed, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I just had these hair plugs put in

and I'm a little self-conscious.

Oh, there's no need to be, it's barely noticeable.

I can't believe it.

Alex didn't even go for the monkey.

How am I gonna get her back?

I've tried every--

Yow! What the hell happened to you?

Brian, Brian--

Did you see this? If your barber did that to you,

you really got a lawsuit coming.

Boy, you get that head in front of a jury

you're gonna make a fortune.

Brian, this is Mr. Thompson

from down at the bank.

He's here about our loan.

Look, I, uh-- I just had these hair plugs put in.

Really, it's hardly noticeable.

Anyway, uh, back to business.

I notice here in the third quarter

the profits seem a little down.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I know that things look a little spotty right now

but I think in a few months you'll see a lot of new growth.

Joe, I really need to talk to you about Davis--

Holy mackerel!

Helen, Helen... What happened to your head?

Helen, this is Mr. Thompson

from the bank.

I-I just had hair plugs put in.

Oh, honey, you didn't get 'em done

down at the mall, did you?

Look, I think I can take this paperwork

back to the office.

Oh, no, no, no, listen. Mr. Thompson, please, uh--

You can stay here, I will make sure no one

says anything else about your head.

Joe, I think I know what the problem is.

Bad plugs.

Uh, look, Mr. Thompson, I'm very sorry.

He was talking about--

Don't worry about it. I have everything I need

to present to the loan committee.

Actually, they're meeting today,

so why don't you stop to my office sometime after 4.

I should have an answer for you.

Great, okay, I'll see you then.

Hey, Sox fan, huh?

All right, I have hair plugs!

Okay?

Really?

They're hardly noticeable.

Thanks a lot, Antonio.

Well, that couldn't have gone any worse.

I'm sorry, Joe, I didn't mean to barge in.

It's just that I really need to talk to you.

Last weekend,

Davis was acting so weird.

And I haven't heard from him since.

What do you think it could be?

Am I too demanding?

Or maybe, maybe--

Maybe I'm boring.

No, look, Helen, you're just being too hard on yourself.

Yeah, you just probably put on some weight.

Brian, we need to talk.

Oh, great, great.

That's all I really want to do with you.

I just wanna sit down and talk, you know.

And I think that once we get back together

we'll be better than ever.

Oh, but...

...you wanted to be the one to say it, didn't you?

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Phone bill came.

Send me a check.

Alex?

Baby?

So, uh, how'd it go with Mr. Thompson?

Oh, horrible.

But I'm trying to be optimistic.

One way or another

I am going to get a second plane.

Oh, wise up, Hackett.

Nobody's gonna give you a loan.

You're always gonna be the same crappy little

one-plane operation you've always been.

Oh, Roy.

Don't be so negative.

Just because every other bank has turned him down

and sure, none of his relatives

will answer his phone calls anymore

and sure, he's asked practically everyone he knows for money

but that doesn't--

Don't look at me, I've got one lousy T-bill

and it's gotta last.

Hey, Joe.

What's this rumor I hear there's a--

There's a new plane on the way?

Oh, yeah, look--

Why is it the mechanic is always the last to know?

Do you know how difficult it is

to care for a new plane?

Lowell, I was--

Staying up all night

whenever the fuel line is clogged,

getting up at 3 a.m. to change it's oil.

Worrying every time

it spits up God knows what--

Lowell, I was going to tell you--

Now that I have one up and running

I was hoping to have a little time for me.

A little me-time, Joe.

Maybe travel,

take up watercolors.

But no.

No, now I have to--

Look, Lowell, I was--

Don't...touch me.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Well, I'll see you later, Helen.

Oh, I almost forgot. While you were out,

Davis called.

He did? What did he say?

He said he's flying here to see you.

He did?

Why?

Beats me, he didn't say.

Gotta go.

Well, wait, something must be wrong.

Uh, he doesn't come here in the middle of the week.

Oh, my gosh, it must be important.

Well, what were his exact words?

Uh, okay, okay, let me see...

Well, first he said, uh--

"Hi, Lowell."

He thought I was Lowell.

Uh, and then he said, uh--

"Tell Helen I will be coming

to the island to see her.

Got that?"

Yes, I've got that.

No, no, that's what he said. "Got that?"

And I said,

"Yes, got that."

Then I hung up and had a cookie.

Dammit.

Don't worry, I put 50 cents on the counter.

I knew it.

He's coming here to break up with me

I can just feel it.

Oh, God, I'm about to get dumped.

Helen, Helen, you don't know that.

Yeah, but you do, don't you?

You know something, don't you?

He told you something, didn't he?

No, he didn't tell me anything--

Yes, he did. I know how you guys all stick together.

Why are you protecting him? Just tell me what he said.

Helen, I swear, he did--

Tell me what he said!

I don't know anything.

Get your hands off me

or I'll use my pepper spray.

( upbeat theme playing )

Come on, we're gonna be late for our meeting at the bank.

Joe, cover me, cover me, will ya?

I'm just too bummed out about Alex to go.

Oh, look at her. Look at her, will you?

Oh, I gotta get her back somehow.

I'll do anything. You got any advise?

Yeah. Give it up.

Brian, look, look,

it's over.

You gotta accept that.

Quit now, while you still have

a little shred of dignity.

Attention, Sandpiper passengers.

Today's 5:30 flight to Boston is--

Wait, w-w-w-w...

Could I just borrow this for one second?

Just one second.

( clears throat )

This is for that little lady

sitting right over there.

( stutters )

Alex

Hey, it's me

Brian

I'm not lyin'

When I tell you I'm cryin'

My heart is...

Fryin'

Whatever you're sellin' I'm buyin'

'Cause inside I'm dyin'

You're dyin' out here too, pal.

So, Alex

I just found out

That nothing rhymes

With Alex

Except for maybe

No nothing rhymes With Alex

So please

Please come back to me

( applause )

Brian,

that you would do this--

That you would

embarrass and humiliate yourself

and in front of all these people...

Well...

...it tells me something.

( gasps )

You're an even bigger idiot than I thought.

One more time

( upbeat theme playing )

( whistling )

Oh, hey, Roy? Mmm.

Um, is Davis listed on any of your New York flights?

Oh, come on, Chapel.

You know I can't give out the names of my passengers.

Ever hear of FAA regulations?

You ever hear of having your lip waxed

with hot bacon fat?

You know, Chapel, another time, another place,

this would be foreplay.

Hi.

Hi, Davis.

Yeah, Antonio told me that you were coming.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, it's good to see you too.

What are you doing here and why do you have a golf club?

Well, I was playing golf in Florida with some clients--

Oh, I was playing horribly.

I couldn't hit a drive, I couldn't sink a putt.

When I thought they'd break right, they broke left.

When I thought they'd break left--

They broke right, yeah, I get it.

Well, anyway,

on this one hole, I hit into a trap.

A trap so deep

I thought I'd never get out.

That made me think of you.

Thank you, Davis.

Well, I knew right then and there that I had to see you.

So I walked right off the course,

took a cab to the airport,

chartered a jet and flew straight here.

Helen,

we can't go on like this.

Here it comes.

The time we've spent together has been great.

But it's just not enough anymore.

That's right. Living in two different cities

trying to keep a relationship together

is killing us, so...

...I think I know what we should do.

Yeah, so do I.

You do?

Course I do. I'm way ahead of you, Davis.

Oh, boy, that makes this so much easier.

Just say it!

Helen, I think we ought to get married.

It's just typical of the--

What?

I want you to marry me.

Um, what?

Are you gonna make me say this again?

Yeah, I think I definitely need to hear that

one more time.

Helen...

...will you marry me?

( crying ): Yes.

( dramatic theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm getting married.

I never want us to spend a moment apart

for the rest of our lives.

Well, gotta go.

What?

I know this is crazy but I just left

three very confused clients on the 13th green.

I gotta fly down there and smooth things over.

Meet me in New York tonight and we'll start celebrating.

Okay. I'll be there.

Wait a second,

I didn't even get you a ring.

Oh, pfff--

I don't need a ring.

Yet.

No, no, I-I-I'm supposed to give you something.

Here.

A golf ball.

It was my grandmother's.

Bye. Ohh...

( giddy laugh )

Hello?

Anybody?

Um, something just happened here.

( screams ): Hey!

What's a matter? What's wrong?

You won't believe what just happened.

What? All right, let me try.

You just got a phone call and you found out

you were switched at birth.

And your birth parents are circus people.

Now, I don't know what they do but I think it involves

big floppy shoes and a seltzer bottle.

No.

Davis just asked me to marry him.

( laughs ): You expect us

to believe that one?

No, it's true.

He was golfing in Florida.

He got caught in a trap and he thought of me.

So he chartered a jet,

came down here and proposed.

Hey, if you don't believe me, look.

What was that circus thing again?

Helen?

I just have to make sure--

You did say yes, right?

Yes!

Great, I'll see you tonight.

Hey, You're gonna love her family.

They're circus people.

( laughter )

Helen, Helen, I am so happy for you.

I'm glad somebody's relationship is working out.

Ah, well, originally I thought it would be me and Alex

but if it can't be me--

Well, why can't it be me?

Brian, this is my moment.

Sorry, sorry.

Chapel, Chapel, word of advice.

He is rich.

Don't let him sucker you into a prenup.

That way when he dumps you,

you can bleed him dry.

Roy, I am not gonna need

a prenuptial agreement.

I think New York is a community property state.

Let's see, I've gotta pack,

uh, and get to New York.

Oh, Roy? Yeah.

Um, I need a ticket on your last flight to New York.

Oh, Chapel,

put your money away.

Gosh, thank you, Roy.

I'll bill you.

Hey, Alex!

Well--

What was that all about?

Oh, uh--

Lynch just asked Helen to marry him.

Oh, that's great.

No wonder she's so happy.

You-- You--

You can be that happy too, you know.

If Lynch asked me to marry him, I would be.

Oh, come on!

Alex, this is insane.

We belong together.

So why don't I just come over tonight.

and bring a bottle of wine--

Brian, when are you gonna get it through your head?

No matter how many cute little gimmicks you try,

we're not gonna get back together.

It's over.

Okay.

Fine.

Fine. It's over.

'Cause I've had enough humiliation

to last me a lifetime. I'm done.

Oh, good.

The Cupid-gram.

She's gonna love this, she's right this way.

Nice wings.

Oh, hey, Lowell.

You'll never guess what just happened.

Oh, I'm way ahead of you, Joe.

It's-- It's quite wonderful.

Uh, oh, wow.

Wow, news sure travels fast.

I only left the bank ten minutes ago.

They know down at the bank?

Well, yeah, of course.

They're the ones that made the decision.

The bank was involved?

Yeah.

Uh, we're not talking about the same thing, are we?

Joe, try to keep up here.

We're talking about Helen and Lynch. They're getting married.

What?

I think I said that pretty clearly.

Helen and Lynch

are getting married?

Joe, I think I've gotten to the root

of our communication problem.

You just don't listen.

( upbeat theme playing )

( knocking )

Come on in.

Oh, oh, my God.

I just heard. Oh, I'm thrilled for you.

I can't believe I'm getting married, Joe.

Did you tell your mom yet?

She must've gone nuts.

Oh, I called her but no one was home.

So I left this message;

"Hi, Mom, it's Helen,"

( screams ): "Call me!"

Well, I gotta pack,

I'm going to New York.

I gotta get ready.

I'll let you get back to that, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Oh, Joe?

Um, listen, thanks for coming by.

I really appreciate it.

Come on, I couldn't not come by.

Well, I should go.

Okay, 'cause I'm gonna pack.

All right. Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Oh, oh, my God, Helen,

uh-- I almost forgot.

You know, you're not the only person with good news today.

You got the loan?

I got the loan!

You got the loan? I got it. I got it.

Oh, my gosh. Isn't it incredible?

How our lives just worked out so perfectly

and both on the same day?

I know, it's like we go along

from one boring day to the next

and then suddenly-- Wham;

everything just clicks.

Well, um...

I'm gonna go.

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna pack.

'Kay. Bye.

Bye, Joe.

Joe!

Yeah?

I just had this great idea.

You could be my best man.

Um...

Helen, I think that it would be

traditional for Davis to choose the best man.

Oh, yeah.

Um, well, you could be my maid of honor.

Are you kidding me?

Spend 200 bucks on an ugly purples dress

that I only wear once?

You know, you are my best friend.

Promise me that when I get married

that that will never change.

Oh, come on.

After all we've been through together.

We've known each other since we were kids.

We're best friends.

For a while there, we were considerably

more than friends.

We're not gonna let a silly thing

like a husband come between us.

( chuckles )

Hey, come on, let's make a pact.

Oh, you remember.

Of course I remember.

Well, um...

I'll let you pack.

Yeah, I gotta go to New York.

Yeah. Bye.

Bye.

Listen, Helen, um...

I just-- I just wanna say, congratulations again.

You know, I'm sure that you and Davis will be really happy.

Yeah, sure.

I--

I think that I really picked the right man.

Mm-hm.

( phone rings )

( ringing continues )

Uh, that's probably your mom.

Yeah, I got to get that.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, um...

Yeah, okay.

Hello.

Hey, Momma.

( laughs )

You're not gonna believe what happened today.

Davis asked me to marry him and I said yes.

( giggles )

Uh-huh...

( dramatic theme playing )

( door opens )

It's all over, Joey. It's just--

It's all over.

Uh--

Hey, Brian, um, whatever it is,

can we talk about it tomorrow?

( moans )

I just tried everything I could think of

to get her back, you know.

The Cupid thing didn't work,

I even hired somebody to skywrite:

"Brian loves Alex."

My luck, ran out of smoke and wrote,

"Brian loves Al."

Hey, uh...

Brian, come on, I'm tired.

What am I gonna do?

I just made a big, big mistake

letting Alex get away.

Well, I...

I guess it's true what they say, you know,

once you break up with somebody

you can never get back together, huh?

Huh?

Oh, come on, Joey,

talk to me.

Yow!

Weren't you supposed to get--?

When did you two--?

Joe, is there something you'd like to say to me?

We got the loan.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )