Original subtitles

( upbeat piano theme playing )

ANNOUNCER: Last week on Wings.

You can collect your bags right through there.

Joe, stop it.

No, you stop it, Helen.

You stop coming to me every time you have a problem

with your boyfriend.

Fay has a crisis-- Run to Joe.

Antonio wants to buy a new cab-- Run to Joe.

Roy wants to gloat-- Run to Joe.

Where do I run to? Where do I go?

Somebody tell me.

Where do I go--?

When it finally dawns on me that my life sucks.

Hey-- Joe what-- What the hell are you doing?

Joe where are you going?

Yes, officer it's been three days since we've seen him.

Yes, missing for three days.

Uh, identifying marks--

Uh, he's got a birth mark on his left thigh.

Well, I don't think that's any of your business how I know,

I know.

Strong body, solid frame

and a nice tight little seat.

6'1", about 175 pounds--

3-feet tall, 900 pounds.

Hackett,

Joe Hackett.

Davidson,

Harley Davidson.

Okay, well please find him.

I just want my baby back.

I can't believe I might not see my motorcycle again.

There, there. Try to remember the good times.

I just don't get it.

I mean-- I'm closer to Joe than anybody else.

Why hasn't he called me?

Hey, he's probably afraid that you'd start whining

about your boyfriend again

You know, I wasn't the only one bothering him.

What about you and your stupid, stupid, motorcycle?

And what about Fraid-o over here shaking him down for a new cab.

Hey, don't pin this on me Blondie.

And, uh, I use the term loosely.

I was not the one who drove him crazy

with that stupid radio commercial.

Hey, hey, I was just having fun with him.

The straw that broke the camels back

was the bride of Frankenstein over there asking Joe

to lug her husband corpse all over town.

I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

And besides if it's anybody's fault it's Brian and Alex,

the last of the lukewarm lovers.

Great. Now everybody's talking

about our love life.

Oh, I'm sorry, Brian.

I-- I know it's not a great excuse but--

Helen started it.

Well, Brian, have you heard from Joe?

Oh-- Oh, yeah. Did I forget to tell you he called.

Yeah. He's married, he's got three kids

and he's currently the produce manager

at a Piggly Wiggly in Jersey.

HELEN: Come on, Brian, it's not funny.

Quit kidding around.

Would you please relax? All of you?

He's just letting off some steam.

He'll be back.

Unless he fell off that bike,

hit his head, and got amnesia.

God-- What if--?

What if I have amnesia?

What if all these years I've really been someone else?

What if I'm not actually the man I think I am?

Then consider yourself ahead of the game.

No, you can't speak to Joe because he's not here.

That's why you have to talk to me. Fay, will you get in here?

Oh, okay, that's all right--

Yeah, no, no. Fine.

No, fine, fine, be that way Gus.

We just won't get our fuel from you anymore, okay?

Your not the only game in town.

BRIAN: Fay, make a note.

We're not getting our fuel from Gus anymore.

Well, I'm afraid we have to.

He's the only game in town.

That's great. See I told you.

I'm not cut out to do Joe's job.

See, I'm the type of guy that comes in at 2,

leaves at 5.

Well, you know, dear, that's why I wrote down everything

that you're supposed to do, is all right there on that list.

Oh, yes, the list. Uh, w--

Would you mind translating this for me.

I cannot read a word of it.

Joe never had any trouble with my penmanship.

Come on, Fay, come on.

What is this? Number one:

Monty Python on flan omelet.

Monthly payment on plane overdue.

The woman from the bank keeps calling.

Oh, God. All right, if she calls back just stall her.

All right? All right, now, what is this?

What is number two?

( clears throat )

Fat rabies omelet--

Okay, we've already established

that omelet means overdue.

FAA reports overdue. You forgot to fill them out.

Now, I'm sorry Brian, I really don't have time for--

Oh, no, no, Fay. Please, please, humor me will you?

And please decipher this last one number 37.

What the hell is "You hairy-pawed me,

so ethyl rump the altitude opy quote"?

Yes, well, it's, uh, you haven't paid me

so either dump the attitude or I quit.

We got to talk.

Why is everyone out there gossiping

about the problems with our sex life?

They're not. They're not. It's just your imagination.

Really? Well, Roy usually says,

"Morning, Lambert, getting any?"

Now it's, "Morning, Lambert, getting any better?"

Listen, Alex, Alex, darling, uh,

everything will be better

once we make some time for each other,

but I-I-- I've got to get all these bills paid.

Every damn one of them is omelet.

Thank you for taking me so seriously.

Alex, come on. I-- I wasn't--

Al-- Alex. Alex.

Alex-- Al-- Come on. Hey, come on!

Damn.

Hey, Brian-- No, I haven't heard from Joe.

I was just gonna ask you if you wanted some coffee.

And as far as Joe is concerned,

I have totally come to terms with him gone.

You know, he's the last thing on my mind.

Uh, Helen, I'd like the grilled cheese with double pickles.

God, that's just what Joe used to have.

Wait a minute, look at this. I don't believe this.

This is Joe's credit card bill.

He's been partying his way down the entire East coast.

Let me see that.

BRIAN: Look at that. ( grunts )

I could just kill him.

I've been worrying my head off

and look at this he's been to Atlantic City,

Myrtle Beach, Key West,

and a couple days ago he was at Jack's Bar in Mystique.

Oh, my God. Do you know what that means?

Yeah. Somebody fun lifted Joe's wallet.

No. No, it means that while I'm busting my hump

working 18 hours a day,

he's having a party down on my old stomping ground.

I used to live there.

Where are you going?

I'm going down to Mystique and drag his butt

back where it belongs.

Oh. This is-- This is so touching.

A-A younger brother traveling thousands of miles to--

To rescue a troubled older brother

to return him to the bosom

of his family and friends.

I just don't get it, do I?

( upbeat island theme playing )

Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.

Ahem. Jack.

Hey, hey.

How are you doing man?

JACK: Oh. Oh, it's been a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, long time. How in the hell are you?

I'm good. I'm good. You know, I'm good. I'm fine.

Wow. Seeing you, being here, brings back a ton of memories.

Oh, man.

Hot summer nights,

beach parties--

And the women--

Whoa...

Whoa...

Those are some times you'll never forget.

( both chuckle )

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have no idea who I am, do you?

Not a clue.

It's me. It's Brian.

It's Brian, man.

Don't you remember seven years ago

I used to fly charters around these islands.

Lots of pilots been through here over the years.

All right, look, um--

Maybe you can help me out.

I'm down here looking for my brother,

about my height, brown hair,

he's alone, depressed,

probably has a tan line where his tie should be.

Yeah, well, sorry. Nobody like that around here.

But let's ask Joe. He knows everybody.

Hey-- JACK: Joe, Joe--

Brian--

What are you doing here?

It's funny, that's the first question I was gonna ask you.

( upbeat island theme playing )

All right, look, Joe...

I'm not angry.

I'm not upset.

If anybody ever deserved

to let off some steam, it's you, but,

you've been here for a few days...

you've had your fun...

your complexion's all cleared up--

Now, please, let's just go home.

There you are.

Hey.

You left your sandals in my hammock last night.

Oh, that's funny. I don't remember wearing that much.

( both giggle )

Hello?

Hello?

Sorry, Brian, you were, uh,

saying something about uh--

Oh, right, uh, coming home.

Look, man, for the first time in my life

I am relaxed.

I'm happy. I-I-- And I'm staying. See you.

Oh, no, no. Just a minute.

We're not through here yet.

All right. Look, I'll meet you down at the beach. Okay?

All right.

Look. Listen to me.

I am not the same guy that I was when I left Nantucket.

I've changed.

I'm at peace here.

You fell in with one of those cults, didn't you?

Brian, just go home.

No, I-- Home? Do you think I want to go back there?

All day long with the questions,

and the bills, and the phone calls,

and people coming at you every 10 damn seconds

with some stupid problem.

( laughs ) What? What?

Well, it took me 10 years to flip out.

You got there in only 10 days.

Thank you for your very enticing offer but-- No thanks.

Okay, fine. You stay here but I'm going to tell you something,

I'm gonna let your damn airline go right down the tubes.

Well, so let it.

Look, we both know you can't run it.

Thanks very much for the vote of confidence,

but, uh, here's a news flash:

I just don't want to run it.

Well, then, sell it.

You're forgetting something. It's not mine to sell.

All right, okay, all right. Give me a dollar.

What for? Give me a dollar.

There you go. Congratulations.

You just bought yourself an airline.

Ha. Yeah, like this is legal.

Well, I can take care of that. Hey, Jack--

You want to witness this transaction?

Looks, good to me.

There you go. It's official.

Look, I got a party to go to, so, uh,

if you're here when I get back, I'll see you.

If not, I'll see you.

That's right, Gus, I'm in charge of things now,

and, uh, I need gas for my plane

and will do whatever it takes

to get you to extend me some credit.

Except that. No, your six-year-old

is not having his birthday party on my plane.

Okay--

But there is no way in hell that I am wearing a clown suit.

Okay--

But I am not going to wear a big red nose--

Okay.

Saturday, 3:00.

Yes, sir.

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

I may not have my dignity, but I got gas.

All right, we are really rolling now.

That takes care of everything on your list

except for this last item.

Oh, I suppose you want me to translate--

No, no, no.

I'm getting pretty good at this.

"I know the goat is a roady tart,

but I bought your dog a grape jar--"

I know we got off to a rocky start,

but I think you're doing a great job.

Thanks a lot, Fay.

It means a lot to me.

Oh, oh, a-a-and one more thing.

The women from the bank called three times

while you were on the morning flight.

Man, I forgot all about that.

All right, well, I'll just have to go back there later on,

turn on the old charm, huh?

Hi, Fay.

Hi.

Brian--

You know that little something I ordered from Victoria's Secret?

Well, it came today and--

Since who knows when you'll have time

to see me in it, I--

Took a picture to show you what it looks like.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my goodness.

What ever problems you two are having

she's certainly doing her part.

I know I haven't had much time for you lately--

Much?

Brian...

you haven't even had time to go to dinner.

I miss you.

Uh, Brian--

Uh, we're kind of in the middle of something,

could you give us a minute?

Oh, okay.

You may not want the full minute.

This is kind of important.

Lowell, please.

Okay.

Uh, Brian, now, would that be a minute

from when you first said,

"Lowell, give us a minute." Or--

Or would that be a minute from, say now?

Take your pick.

Gotcha.

Thirty seconds.

Lowell, what is it?

Oh, okay.

There's two guys from the bank

out on the run way, towing the plane away

with a fork lift.

Th-- The-- They're repossessing the plane?

That's impossible.

You know, that's what they said,

up until the point when I showed them how to use the forklift.

Uh, coffee please, Helen.

Sure.

ROY: You know, Hackett, it's funny.

For years I've been trying to buy Sandpiper.

Now, that I can pick it up

for the price of an 8-track tape player,

I don't feel good about it.

( phone rings )

Hey, Fay, what are you doing sitting over here?

Shouldn't you be on the phone trying to book some passengers?

Oh, well,

sure I could do that, dear,

but, uh, don't you remember we don't have a plane anymore?

Uh, but, although if you like,

I could do it anyway.

Brian, did you know that the plane's out there?

Yeah, I got it back this morning.

You're kidding. How did you get it back?

Well...

it all has to do with trout fishing, really.

Trout fishing?

It's not the way Joe would have done it, but it worked.

See, the woman down at the bank wants a promotion.

The fellow in charge doesn't like her

but he does want to get into politics.

So, he likes to hob-knob with the mayor.

The mayor's wife wants to get her teeth capped

and the dentist who's going to cap them for her

will do it for nothing

if I agree to fly him and his buddies to Vermont

to do some trout fishing.

That's the way I'd have played her.

How did you ever come up with that?

I got it from an old episode of McHale's Navy.

Don't you think Ernest Borgnine is sexy?

Lowell, go gas up the plane.

I've go to get ready for my 3:00 charter.

You know, when I first saw the plane,

I thought it was a mirage,

and then I said to myself,

"If it is a mirage,

"then I can walk right through it."

I'm here to tell you, it's no mirage.

Oh, Joe.

Oh...I'm so happy--

--you're back. How are you?

Hi. Joe, you're back.

Hey, Antonio, how you doing?

Oh, my God!

Joe, I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, I'm never talking to you again

because I thought you were not coming back.

So, did you have fun?

Yeah, I did. Thanks.

Listen, Joe, listen.

When I-- When I asked you to cosign the loan

for my new cab I had no idea

that you were in need of immediate psychiatric help.

It's okay, neither did I.

Joe, I am so glad you're here

because now this means that Brian won't be working so hard

which means that we can finally--

I'm just really glad you're here.

Oh, Hackett, you're back.

Oh, this is a truly wonderful moment.

You missed me, huh, Roy?

No, I just wanted to give Lambert a cheap feel.

Joe? Joe.

Hey. It's good to see you.

Where's my Harley? It's right outside.

Ha-ha. My baby. My baby.

So, uh, is Brian around?

I guess we should probably have a little talk.

Oh, yes, he is and you're gonna be very proud of him,

because he did a great job with Sandpiper

while you were away.

And it wasn't easy

because he had mighty big shoes to fill.

I'll be back in a couple hours, Fay.

This is Cessna Nevada 121 pop-poppa

waiting for clearance to taxi to runway 4.

Hey.

So, are you the clown that runs this joint?

What do you want?

Nothing, nothing.

Oh, all right, give me a quarter-pouder with cheese.

( laughs )

Do I look amused?

No, I look amused. You look ridiculous.

So, what are you doing back?

Well--

You know, I-I realized that--

You can only spend so much time lying on the beach

with a beautiful women in one hand

margarita in the other before you--

Run out of money.

( chuckles )

So, that's it, huh?

Came back 'cause you went broke?

Well, that and, uh--

I realized that the answer to my problems

wasn't in Mystique.

It's here.

You know, I got to find a way to make all this work

without driving myself crazy.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on there.

You think after everything I've been through

you can just waltz back here

and take Sandpiper back, huh?

You can forget that, pal.

Look, Brian-- And another thing--

--in case you've forgotten, Beachcomber Bob,

you don't own it anymore.

You ran out on me.

This paper here says I own the place.

And you know something, man?

I deserve it, because I'm the one who struggled

to keep it alive while you were playing in the sand.

I'm the one who had to horse trade his way

up and down main street

in order to keep the creditors off my back.

I'm the one who practically lost his girlfriend

because I was spending far too much time in the office,

and as if that weren't enough,

I'm the one sitting here in this plane

wearing a freakin' clown suit.

So, unless you're up

for a plane load of screaming 6-year-olds,

in party hats,

I suggest you haul your butt off my plane.

Brian, would you please relax?

I don't want it back.

What?

I-- Just want a job.

You know, nothing too strenuous just--

I'd like to come in about 2:00

and leave about 5:00.

You know, your old job.

Well, I'm afraid that position's no longer available.

If it was I'd give it to me.

There is one job opening I think you might be interested in.

Yeah?

Well, obviously this job is too hard

for somebody to handle alone.

Ha. Tell me about it.

Now, I think I did a damn good job with it.

But if I try to do it by myself

it'll kill me.

So, I'm thinking of taking on a partner.

How would this partnership thing work?

Well, first of all, we split all the flights.

Yeah.

Some months you pay the bills,

some months I do.

Look, will I still have time for some sort of life?

Yes. Yes. And so would I.

What do you say?

Deal. Partners.

Fifty-fifty.

Well... I kind of have a problem with that.

What do you want more? No, less.

I don't want that much responsibility.

( sigh of relief )

The pressure's off. I feel better now.

Partners, huh?

You know, this is a, uh,

pretty big moment in our lives.

Your...not gonna get all emotional on me, are you?

No, I'm fine.

Well, in case you do.

Here, use my hanky.

( upbeat piano theme playing )

( upbeat piano theme playing )