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1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:04,090
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:08,090
Good morning, Antonio.
Hey, Scarpacci.
3
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:09,590
Morning.
4
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:13,100
Uh, I found something
very valuable in my cab.
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,100
Did anybody lose--?
6
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,600
I lost it. It's mine.
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,100
You don't even know
what it is.
8
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,100
( scoffs )
9
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,110
It's a compact disc player.
10
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:23,610
Wrong.
11
00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,610
It's a cellular phone.
12
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,610
Damn, I almost said that.
13
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,110
Yeah.
14
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:31,120
Nice try.
But I wonder
15
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,120
how I can find
the rightful owner.
16
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,620
Don't be a jerk.
Keep it.
17
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:38,120
But what if--? What if someone
comes back for it?
18
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,630
Then you say, and note
the innocent expression,
19
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,130
"Phone? What phone?"
20
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,130
Oh, come on, Roy. Does that
ever work?
21
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:49,130
"Rolex? What Rolex?"
22
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,640
( upbeat piano theme playing )
23
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,640
( phone ringing )
24
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,150
Hello?
25
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,660
Who's this?
26
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:13,160
Betty? Betty who?
27
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,160
Uh, no, this isn't Phil.
28
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,660
He must be the man
who lost this phone.
29
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,660
You're his wife.
30
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:23,170
Oh. I-I remember a man
named Phil.
31
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,670
And I remember you too.
32
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,670
Oh, yes.
Tall, blond, late 20's.
33
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:30,670
Oh. The two of you
made such a lovely--
34
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,180
You're short, brunette,
early 40's?
35
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,190
Please don't cry, Betty.
36
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,190
I really don't wanna hear
about it.
37
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,190
If it concerns you,
have it drained.
38
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,190
Lowell Mather.
39
00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:51,700
Uh, heh, hi, Lisa.
40
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,200
We had a date last night
and you never showed up.
41
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,700
Uh, you know,
I meant to call you.
42
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,700
I-I think that we're getting
a little too close.
43
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,700
That was gonna be
our first date.
44
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:04,210
See. Now we're arguing
already.
45
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:07,210
We're-- We're obviously
incompatible.
46
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:11,720
Fine. That's the last time
I let my mother set me up.
47
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,720
Hey, Lowell.
What's going on?
48
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,220
That's, like, the fifth time
49
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,220
I've seen you dump
a perfectly nice girl.
50
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,220
Well, I guess I'm having
a little trouble
51
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,230
with this whole
dating business.
52
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,730
Probably 'cause
I'm still married.
53
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:27,230
I-- I thought you and Bunny
were separated.
54
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,230
Oh, that again?
55
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,740
You know, just because
Bunny and I don't eat together,
56
00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:33,740
sleep together,
or live in the same town,
57
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:37,240
why does everyone assume
that the marriage is in trouble?
58
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,240
Lowell's marriage is kind of
a touchy subject.
59
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,750
He gets pretty weird
if you talk about it.
60
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:43,750
Well, what's the big deal?
If you're not together,
61
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,250
why don't you just get a di--?
Di-what?
62
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,750
Get a di-what?
63
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,750
Lowell, Lowell.
64
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,760
You know, it's really not
that uncommon.
65
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,760
Fifty percent of all marriages
end in...
66
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,260
Di-what.
67
00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:01,770
Di-what the hell
are you talking about?
68
00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:02,770
HELEN:
Now, Lowell.
69
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:05,270
You know perfectly well
what we're talking about.
70
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,270
We are talking about
you getting a di--
71
00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:11,280
Joe.
72
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:14,780
Me?
73
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,780
Why does it always
have to be me?
74
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,280
Yeah.
Because you're sensitive.
75
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,790
No, I'm not.
I don't even-- Okay.
76
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:24,790
All right. Divorce, Lowell.
We are talking about a divorce.
77
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,290
After all these years,
your marriage is a--
78
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,290
A hollow, empty shell.
It's a joke.
79
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:33,800
We're trying to tell you
to go and get a divorce.
80
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,300
Way to go, Mr. Sensitive.
ROY: Smooth.
81
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,300
Really nice.
82
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,300
Very sweet.
What?
83
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:39,300
BRIAN:
Very good.
84
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,310
Divorce. Eh.
85
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,810
We Mathers don't believe
in divorce.
86
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,810
I know. It's a lousy thing to do
to a first cousin.
87
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,320
Lowell, listen. We're not trying
to tell you what to do.
88
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,320
But I think maybe the next time
you talk to Bunny,
89
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,320
you should bring it up.
90
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,820
Look, I don't want
a divorce.
91
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,820
And I know that Bunny feels
the same way.
92
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,330
And just to prove
to all of you cynics
93
00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:05,330
how Bunny feels, I'm gonna
call her right now and prove it.
94
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,330
HELEN:
Oh, boy.
95
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,840
That must be a really hard
call to make.
96
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:13,340
Especially for Lowell.
It's got ten numbers in it.
97
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,340
Bunny. Hi.
Quick question.
98
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:23,350
Listen. Uh,
ever in your wildest dreams,
99
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,350
did you imagine
getting a divorce?
100
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,350
( chuckles )
101
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,850
Yeah, that's what I thought.
102
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,850
Eh. And I gotta tell ya,
right about now,
103
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:33,360
somebody's looking pretty darn
foolish. Okay. All right.
104
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,360
( kisses )
105
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,860
Bye.
106
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,360
Anyone know a good lawyer?
107
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,370
( upbeat piano theme playing )
108
00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:46,870
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
109
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,870
Oh, this is so sad.
110
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:52,380
I mean, I can still remember
Lowell's wedding.
111
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,880
I'll never forget it.
112
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,380
At the door,
the guy asked me,
113
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,880
"Bride side, groom side,
114
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,880
or are you just here
for league night?"
115
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:04,390
Well, the appointment was
for noon, and it's now 12:01.
116
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,890
I think it's pretty darn clear
that if Bunny wanted a divorce,
117
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,890
she'd be here by now.
118
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,400
Well, now, maybe she's just
running late.
119
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,900
I suppose it's possible.
120
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,400
She never did have any sense
of time.
121
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,900
She was two hours late
for our wedding.
122
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,400
But we couldn't have started
anyway.
123
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,910
So was the best man.
124
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:25,410
That should have been your first
clue that Bunny was out there--
125
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,910
Uh, what is keeping her,
anyway?
126
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,410
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
what are you worried about?
127
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:32,420
Aren't I always there for you?
128
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,420
You're in court? W-why?
129
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,920
Our case doesn't come up
for another...
130
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,420
Oh, boy.
131
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,930
Okay.
132
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,430
Not a problem.
133
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,930
Lowell, are you sure
this guy's okay?
134
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:47,430
Oh, yeah. It says so on his ad.
He's the best.
135
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,930
( sighs )
136
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:52,440
"Warren Banks,
attorney at law.
137
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,440
He's the best."
Lowell.
138
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,940
You cannot get a lawyer
from a matchbook.
139
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,940
He can. He did. He's Lowell.
Enough said.
140
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:00,940
Okay.
141
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:01,950
Okay, heh-heh-heh.
142
00:06:01,950 --> 00:06:03,450
Good morning, folks.
HELEN: Hello.
143
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,950
Now, let's see
what we have here.
144
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,950
The Mather divorce.
145
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:08,950
Well,
146
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:11,960
I didn't expect you folks
until...
147
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,960
Oh, boy.
148
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,460
Okay.
149
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,960
Not a problem.
150
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,960
Now, if it's of any comfort,
151
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,470
don't think of divorce
as the end.
152
00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:22,970
I'm not married to her.
No. Yeah,
153
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,470
I'm not married to him.
154
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,970
Oh. Heh-heh-heh.
155
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,470
Don't think of divorce
as the end--
156
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,470
I'm not married to her.
I'm not married to him.
157
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,980
I'm just a friend here.
I'm...
158
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,980
Oh.
159
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,990
Well, I've never done
one of these before.
160
00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:44,490
Now, don't think of divorce
as the end--
161
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,990
No, no. Hey, no, no.
Wait.
162
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:46,990
She and I are just here
163
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,490
for moral support.
He's the husband,
164
00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:50,490
and the wife's on her way.
Oh.
165
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,500
And it is now 12:03,
and no Bunny.
166
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,000
It's pretty darn clear
167
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000
that she was too upset
to go through with this.
168
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,000
Hi, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
169
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,510
It was just
such a beautiful day.
170
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:03,010
I had to stop for ice cream.
171
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,510
Oh, hi, Helen.
Hi, Bunny.
172
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:05,510
Hi, Bunny.
173
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:07,510
Mm. Joe.
174
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,510
Hi, Lowell.
Hi, Bun--
175
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,510
Hi.
176
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,520
Have we met?
177
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,020
Warren Banks,
attorney at law.
178
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,520
We spoke on the phone.
179
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,020
Oh, yeah.
180
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,020
Ah, let me just get the, uh,
necessary paperwork.
181
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:23,530
So Bunny, are you sure
you wanna go through with this?
182
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,030
Well, yeah, I'm sure.
Aren't you?
183
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,030
Ah, sure.
Yeah, I'm sure.
184
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,530
I'm sure. Yep.
185
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:32,540
So, you know, we've been
screwing around long enough.
186
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,040
Let's make this thing legal.
187
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,040
Oh. That's exactly what he said
when he proposed.
188
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,550
I've, uh, prepared the papers
as we discussed.
189
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,050
All that's left is for you
to sign right here.
190
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,050
Okay.
191
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,560
Well,
192
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,560
that does it. Hm-hm.
193
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,570
I now pronounce you
man and ex-wife.
194
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,070
( laughs )
195
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,070
Just trying to lighten
the moment.
196
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:10,070
All right.
I am late for court.
197
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,080
JOE:
I don't know what to say.
198
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,580
It's always sad
when a family breaks apart.
199
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,590
I just hope that you'll have
the strength
200
00:08:21,590 --> 00:08:24,590
to pick up the broken pieces
of your shattered lives
201
00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:26,590
and move on.
202
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,090
Thanks for the good thoughts.
203
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:31,600
Now, if you guys
wouldn't mind leaving,
204
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,100
you're really bumming us out.
205
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,600
Yeah.
Right.
206
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,110
So I guess that's it.
207
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:44,610
Yeah, that's, uh, it,
all right.
208
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,110
We're divorced.
209
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,110
So, what are you
gonna do now?
210
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:53,120
Well, I thought I'd probably
go get some lunch.
211
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,620
Oh, not now, now. I mean,
in your life, now.
212
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,120
Oh.
213
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,120
Haven't really had a chance
to think about it.
214
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,630
Though I'll probably eat lunch
eventually.
215
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:02,630
( giggles )
216
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,630
Oh, you always could
make me laugh.
217
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,630
You know,
when you called,
218
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,140
your voice sounded
so forceful.
219
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:15,140
Like a man who knew
what he wanted.
220
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,140
Well, heh,
221
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,140
you know me, Bunny.
222
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,140
When I know I want something,
223
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,150
it's usually something
that I'm pretty damn sure
224
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,650
that I think I want.
225
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,150
And what do you want now,
Lowell?
226
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,150
Uh, I don't know.
What do you want?
227
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,660
( whispers inaudibly )
228
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:36,660
Hey. You might have mentioned
that before the divorce.
229
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,160
We were still married then,
silly.
230
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:48,170
Lowell, is that a wrench
in your pocket?
231
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,180
Sorry.
232
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,680
( upbeat piano theme playing )
233
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,680
( upbeat piano theme playing )
234
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,190
Freshen that up for you?
235
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:12,200
( muffled groans )
236
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,200
I take it Lowell
kept you up to, huh?
237
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,200
Ah, yeah. Poor guy.
238
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,200
Up all night crying.
239
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,210
"Oh, Bunny. Oh, God, Bunny!"
240
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,210
Oh, come on.
241
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,210
Give him a break.
242
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,710
There's nothing wrong
with crying, is there?
243
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,220
I don't know. What is the deal
with men crying these days?
244
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,720
Is it in or out?
245
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,220
Ah, let's see.
246
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:38,220
60's was love and sex.
247
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,220
No reason to cry.
248
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:45,230
70's was a sensitive male.
249
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,730
It was okay to cry.
250
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,730
80's was--
251
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,230
Making money. No crying.
252
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,740
And what's the 90's?
253
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:54,740
No money, no sex,
254
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,740
nothing to do but cry.
255
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,240
Oye.
256
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,240
JOE: Hey.
BRIAN: Hey, bud.
257
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,750
Morning, Lowell.
Had a rough night there, huh?
258
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,250
Yeah.
259
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,750
Still can't believe
what that woman did to me.
260
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,750
Oh, yeah. Divorce is.
It's tough, man.
261
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,760
I mean, yeah,
you're gonna have to expect
262
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,760
a few more nights like that.
263
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,260
Really?
264
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,260
Boy, I don't know
if I can take that.
265
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,770
Morning, boys.
266
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,270
But it should be fun
finding out.
267
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,770
Lowell, where have you been?
268
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,780
You said you were coming
right back.
269
00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:34,780
Come on.
270
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,780
See ya.
271
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,780
I almost went to his room
last night
272
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,790
to see if I could help.
273
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:45,290
( upbeat piano theme playing )
274
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,790
( phone rings )
275
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:51,300
Yo, Betty,
how you doing today?
276
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,800
I know. Yes, I know.
277
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,800
It's very difficult.
278
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,800
But you just have to take it
one day at a time.
279
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,810
No, no. I have not seen Phil.
280
00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:04,810
But you know what might
make you feel better?
281
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:08,810
Go downtown and buy yourself
something pretty.
282
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,320
( quietly ):
That's what I do.
283
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,320
Fay? Yes, Fay's right here.
284
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,820
Hi, Betty.
How are you today?
285
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:25,830
Now, now, now.
That's the liquor talking.
286
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,830
She's drunk as a skunk.
287
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,340
Uh, Betty, why don't you
just lie down
288
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,340
and you can call us--
289
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:39,340
She's okay.
It's just hard on her.
290
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,850
It's hard on all of us.
291
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,350
Oh, come on.
Lowell and Bunny were so loud
292
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,850
they kept you up all night?
293
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,350
Morning too.
294
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,350
I was halfway down the block,
295
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,350
I could swear I heard them
yodeling.
296
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,860
Now, that doesn't mean anything.
297
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,860
My parents used to yodel
all the time
298
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,360
and they certainly weren't--
299
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,870
Oh, my God.
300
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:06,370
Hey, Brian, Roy.
301
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,870
Listen, if I finish early,
302
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,870
can I take the rest
of the afternoon off?
303
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,880
Little matinee, Lowell?
304
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,880
No, I can't, Roy.
But thanks.
305
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,380
No, I'm gonna go out and find
an apartment for me and Bunny.
306
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,390
Yeah, I don't know.
With other people in the house,
307
00:13:22,390 --> 00:13:23,890
we feel inhibited.
308
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,890
That was inhibited?
309
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,390
When you were finished,
I smoked a cigarette.
310
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,900
I just don't believe it.
311
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,900
Well, you know Lowell.
No, not Lowell.
312
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,400
I can't believe my parents.
313
00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:45,410
It's funny. Nobody ever believes
their parents do it.
314
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:47,410
If you really wanna
blow your mind,
315
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,910
imagine your grandparents
doing it.
316
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:53,920
Could we change the subject?
317
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,420
I find this just a little
distasteful.
318
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,920
Ah. Too distasteful for you?
319
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,930
Look, my mother was a saint.
320
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,430
My father was a pillar
of the community.
321
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:05,930
The last thing I wanna do
322
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:07,930
is imagine Mom wrapped
in cellophane,
323
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,430
Dad wearing tights
and a miner's helmet.
324
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,440
I didn't wake up and ask
for a drink of water again
325
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,940
for 25 years.
326
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,450
Hey.
Hey.
327
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,950
You guys are not
gonna believe this.
328
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,450
What?
329
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,950
I just got a call at the house
from some guy
330
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,960
that says he's Bunny's fiancé.
331
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960
( chuckles )
HELEN: Oh, wow.
332
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,460
That's gonna kill Lowell.
Yeah.
333
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:37,960
He's getting ready to go
look for an apartment.
334
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,460
Oh, no.
335
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:40,960
Somebody's gotta tell him.
336
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,970
Oh, no. No, not this time.
337
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,970
N-no. No way.
It's not gonna be me.
338
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,470
I'm not telling him.
339
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,970
No, look, I always get stuck
with this stuff,
340
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,480
and this time,
I'm not gonna do it.
341
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,980
I swear to you, it is not--
342
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,980
Well, I'm sure not gonna do it
by myself.
343
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,980
( upbeat piano theme playing )
344
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,990
( upbeat piano theme playing )
345
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:09,490
Hey. Hey, I was in your cab
a couple of days ago.
346
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,000
Did I by any chance
leave my phone in there?
347
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,000
Phil?
348
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Yeah. Yeah.
How'd you know my name?
349
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,510
You've got a lot of explaining
to do, mister.
350
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:27,010
I know all about you
and Blondie.
351
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,510
And so does Betty.
352
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:31,010
My wife Betty?
353
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,520
How you know Betty?
354
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,520
She called.
355
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,020
And I told her everything.
356
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,520
Her heart is breaking.
357
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,520
Oh, my God.
358
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,530
Look, I--
I didn't do anything.
359
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,530
All right, look, look, look.
360
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,530
I did come here
to have an affair,
361
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,030
but I couldn't
go through with it.
362
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,030
Nothing happened.
363
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,540
Ha! Save your lies
for someone else.
364
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:53,540
No, no. No, no.
365
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,540
I love my wife.
366
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:58,040
Then don't tell me.
367
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,540
Tell Betty.
368
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,550
Look, I meant what I said.
369
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:06,550
I am not telling Lowell
about Bunny's fiancé.
370
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,550
We either do it as a group
or one of you can do it.
371
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,560
Well, I have to know a guy a lot
better before I break his heart.
372
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,060
Look, I don't see why any of us
has to tell him at all.
373
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,060
I mean, let Lowell
find out for himself,
374
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,560
or let Bunny string him on
for years. Whatever.
375
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,070
I'm so sick and tired
of everybody in this airport
376
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,070
buttin' in to everybody else's
business.
377
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:28,070
Personally, you know,
I don't really give a damn.
378
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,570
Helen Chapel,
I'm ashamed of you.
379
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,580
In fact,
I'm ashamed of all of you.
380
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,580
Lowell is our friend.
381
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,580
And if there's one thing
we do around here,
382
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,080
it's look out for our friends.
383
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:40,080
Well, you may all be afraid
to talk to him,
384
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,590
I'm not.
385
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,590
I knew we could get her
to do it. Ha-ha.
386
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:52,100
Antonio,
I can't thank you enough.
387
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,600
You've saved my marriage.
388
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,600
Ah. It was my pleasure,
Phil.
389
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,100
But, uh, could I ask
a favor?
390
00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,100
Do you have a, uh,
picture of Betty?
391
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,110
I'd like to see
who I've been talking to.
392
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:03,110
Yeah, sure.
393
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,110
Oh, thank you. Yes.
394
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:14,120
She's, uh, quite--
Quite lovely, yes.
395
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,620
Thanks again.
396
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:21,620
Woof.
397
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:26,130
Yeah, Fay. Yeah,
I was just about to go out
398
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:27,630
and get an apartment
for me and Bunny.
399
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,630
Oh. Well, Bunny is sort of what
I wanted to talk to you about.
400
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,140
She's a great girl,
isn't she?
401
00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:34,140
Oh, yes, she is, Lowell. But
there's something about her--
402
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,640
Ah, I know. I know.
403
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,140
I bet it's her laugh.
No,
404
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,640
that's not what I wanted to say,
Lowell.
405
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,140
I know, I know.
406
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,650
I bet it's her smile.
No,
407
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,650
that's not it either.
What I want to tell you--
408
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,150
I know, I know.
409
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,150
It's the way her hair
looks all monkey-like
410
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,150
in the morning.
411
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
Uh, sit, Lowell.
412
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:52,660
Ah. You know,
I bet it's the way--
413
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,160
No, it's the fact
414
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,160
that your ex-wife is engaged
to another man.
415
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,660
While she's been sleeping
with you,
416
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,170
she's had a fiancé in Boston.
417
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,170
I'm a little surprised at you,
Fay.
418
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,180
Never thought of you
as a gossip.
419
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,680
I mean, you don't see
the others in here
420
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,180
spreading these rumors.
421
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,190
I'm sure Bunny has a perfectly
good explanation.
422
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:24,690
( upbeat piano theme playing )
423
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:30,690
Lowell.
424
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,200
I didn't expect you home
at this hour.
425
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,200
Interested in a little matinee?
426
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,700
Uh, no thanks, Bunny.
427
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,200
But you know,
you're the second person
428
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,710
to ask me to the movies today.
429
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,210
Anyway, listen.
430
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,210
There's something I need you
to clear up.
431
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:46,210
( chuckles )
432
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:49,210
I'm sure when you hear it,
it's gonna make you laugh.
433
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,720
Heh. I mean,
I'm laughing already.
434
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,220
What is it, Lowell?
Well,
435
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,220
it's just a little tiny thing.
436
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,720
And I'm sure you have
a perfectly good explanation.
437
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,220
But, heh,
438
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,220
Fay told me
439
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,730
that you have a fiancé
in Boston.
440
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,230
Oh, he just calls himself
my fiancé
441
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:09,730
'cause he asked me to marry him
and I said yes.
442
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:13,740
Well, it's not like
we set a date or anything.
443
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:18,240
It's not exactly the explanation
I was hoping for.
444
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,240
Uh, but it does explain
a few other things.
445
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,250
Like the time
that you went to L.A.
446
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,750
during Superbowl weekend
447
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,750
for your grandfather's
funeral.
448
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,750
And the time that you went
to Fort Lauderdale
449
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:31,750
during spring break
450
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,760
for your other grandfather's
funeral.
451
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,260
And the time you went
to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
452
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,260
for your other grandfather's
funeral.
453
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,270
I can explain.
454
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,770
Lowell, I love you a lot,
455
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,270
but I don't think
I'm cut out to be married.
456
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,270
I-I'm just no good at it.
457
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,780
I'm a lousy wife.
458
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:55,780
But you have to admit
I'm a great ex-wife.
459
00:19:58,780 --> 00:19:59,780
Wait.
460
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:02,290
Bunny.
461
00:20:02,290 --> 00:20:04,790
I need more than that.
462
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:08,290
I just don't think
I can give you that.
463
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,790
Well,
464
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:13,800
then I think
we should be separated.
465
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,300
But we're already divorced.
466
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,300
No, I mean physically
separated.
467
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,310
So that's it?
468
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,810
Yeah.
469
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,810
That's it.
470
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:30,310
Gee, I hope this doesn't mean
we can't see each other anymore.
471
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,320
No, we can still see
each other.
472
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,320
We just can't see
each other naked.
473
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,820
Oh.
474
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,320
One last kiss?
475
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,330
Sure.
476
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,330
( door opens )
477
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,830
Whoa. Sorry.
478
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,830
Oh, no, that's all right,
Joe.
479
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,840
I have to be getting back
to Boston.
480
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,350
Bye-bye, Lowell.
481
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,850
Bye-bye, Bunny.
482
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,360
You okay, Lowell?
483
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,360
Yeah.
484
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,360
Yeah, I'm all right.
485
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,360
Anything we can do,
I'm here for you, all right?
486
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,360
Thanks, Joe.
487
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,360
Listen, are you busy
this afternoon?
488
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,370
I wouldn't mind some company.
489
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:25,870
Sure.
What did you have in mind?
490
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:28,870
How about a little matinee?
491
00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,380
Huh?
492
00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:34,880
Apparently, there's some
hot new movie playing downtown.
493
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,880
Everybody's talking about it.
494
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,380
( upbeat piano theme playing )
495
00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:56,400
( upbeat piano theme playing )
32252
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