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00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,090
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,100
( screams )
3
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,100
Fay!
4
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,100
Are you all right?
5
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,600
My God, you scared me.
6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,600
There's usually nobody here
at this hour.
7
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,100
But--
8
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:23,110
What's wrong? Why in the world
were you screaming?
9
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,610
Oh, that's how I start my day.
10
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:30,110
You'd be amazed at how it makes
stress just disappear.
11
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:32,620
Morning, losers.
12
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,620
I'm back from vacation.
13
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,120
Wanna see my tan line?
14
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,120
( all but Roy scream )
15
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,140
Man, life is good.
Isn't it, Joe?
16
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,140
I mean, who'd think that
the planets could ever be
17
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,650
in such perfect alignment?
18
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,150
( loud yelp )
19
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,150
Did I wake you up?
20
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:06,650
No.
21
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,150
Good, 'cause I kind of feel
like sharing, you know.
22
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:14,160
I mean, when something good
happens to you,
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00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,660
it makes you want to
rush immediately
24
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,160
back into the bosom
of your family, you know.
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00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,670
Mom's gone, Dad's gone, so I
guess that kind of makes you...
26
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,170
my bosom.
27
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:31,170
Anyway, you know, I've been
walking around for hours
28
00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:33,180
just thinking, thinking,
thinking what it is I'm feeling,
29
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,180
you know, and then just suddenly
it hits me, man.
30
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,680
I'm happy.
31
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:43,690
I'm happy.
32
00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,690
Look at this face.
33
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:50,190
Look, do you ever see me
look this happy?
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00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:53,700
I haven't, and I look
at it everyday.
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00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:54,700
All day.
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00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,200
( chuckles )
37
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,700
You know what else just hit me?
38
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,210
Bosom is a really
funny-sounding word.
39
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:05,210
Come on, say it with me,
"bosom."
40
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,710
Say it, "bosom, bosom."
41
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,710
Bosom, bosom.
Right? Bosom.
42
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,710
( laughs )
43
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,720
Where was I?
44
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,720
Babbling about Alex.
45
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,720
How did you know?
46
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,220
Bosom.
47
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,230
I just--
48
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:27,730
I can't stop talking about her,
because she is so incredible.
49
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:31,730
I mean, take tonight. You know
what we did for six solid hours?
50
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:33,740
Six hour--
I don't wanna hear this.
51
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,740
We talked.
52
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,740
We just talked.
53
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:41,740
Stop--
54
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:45,250
See, you have no idea
how wonderful she is, Joey,
55
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,250
because all the time
you were chasing her,
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00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,750
you just wanted her
for her body.
57
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,250
Me?
58
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,260
All right, me too,
but that was last week.
59
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,260
I mean, I've discovered that
I not only like her body...
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00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,260
I like her.
61
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,260
You wanna know about
the real amazing part?
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00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,270
We still haven't
slept together yet.
63
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,270
A whole entire week without sex?
Are you gonna be all right?
64
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:13,780
Yeah, I'll be okay, thanks.
65
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,280
I mean, we've been having
such a great time
66
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,280
that I haven't even
thought about sex.
67
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,280
And you know me, everything
makes me think about sex, right?
68
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,790
Cars, a warm breeze...
69
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,290
a cool breeze...
70
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,290
Wilma Flintstone...
71
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,790
a nice piece of fruit.
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00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,300
Wilma Flintstone?
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00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:34,800
Well yeah, Fred was out of town,
she was parading around
74
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,800
in that short
leopard skin number.
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00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,800
That's sick.
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00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,310
Besides, Betty Rubble,
she was the hot one.
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00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:47,310
Now, Pebbles, imagine what
a babe she would be today.
78
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,310
( both sigh )
79
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:55,320
Anyway, anyway...
80
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,320
Listen to me, man,
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00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,320
( laughs ):
I just keep talking
about myself.
82
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,820
Enough about me.
What'd you do tonight?
83
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:00,820
Oh, well--
84
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,330
( clears throat )
85
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:04,330
You know that new blonde
waitress down at the club car?
86
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,330
With the--
87
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,830
Yeah, that is the one.
88
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,830
Well, she got off work.
89
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:09,830
Yeah?
90
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,330
She asked me to go back
to her place.
91
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,340
( laughs ):
What happened?
92
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,840
I don't know,
you woke me up.
93
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,350
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
94
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,850
Yeah, okay, good.
95
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,350
I-I'd appreciate it,
you know, if you just--
96
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,850
( scoffs )
Went out,
97
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,350
because I gotta get up at 5
to take the charter.
98
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850
Okay, okay.
99
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,350
Good night.
100
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,860
( alarm buzzes )
101
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:45,370
Have you seen Lowell?
102
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:47,370
I've been looking for him
all day.
103
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,870
Don't you remember?
We gave him the day off.
104
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:49,870
What for?
105
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,370
The Mather family reunion.
106
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,380
Oh, yeah...
107
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,380
Dozens of people all missing
the same chromosome.
108
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:03,890
I am so angry right now,
I could just spit.
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00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,390
I went out with this guy,
Larry Thompson.
110
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,900
He's not a ten,
but that's okay.
111
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,900
He took me to lunch,
not dinner.
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00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,900
That's okay.
113
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,900
What's not okay, is he turned
out to be an insurance salesman.
114
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:24,410
He only asked me out
to sell me a policy.
115
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,410
Come on,
you don't know that.
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00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,910
Over coffee, he said
he would require
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a chest x-ray
and a urine sample.
118
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,920
It's not a great come on,
119
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,420
but it's a little more original
than "What's you sign?"
120
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,420
( laughs )
121
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:46,930
Morning, everyone,
I've got wonderful news.
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00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,930
Look what I got in the mail this
morning, my registration card.
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00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,440
It's about time they started
keeping track of you people.
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00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,440
I registered for classes
at the community college.
125
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,440
Oh, that's wonderful, Fay.
126
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,940
When did all this happen?
127
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,950
You never even mentioned
you were thinking about it.
128
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,450
Well, I didn't want to
say anything
129
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,450
until I knew I'd been accepted.
130
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,950
I hear they've got a very strict
admissions policy.
131
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,950
You actually have to have
a pulse.
132
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,960
So, what are you going to study?
133
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,460
Oh, I'm taking
Beginning Psychology.
134
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,460
Oh, psychology.
Fay, good choice.
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00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,960
But remember,
you don't get the pellet
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00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,470
til after you ring the bell.
137
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,970
Fay, how can you let him
talk to you like that?
138
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:31,470
Uh, did he say something?
139
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,480
( chuckling ):
I've learned to tune him out.
140
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,980
Well, I can't.
141
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,480
Roy...
142
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,480
What's wrong with you?
143
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,480
Gee, I don't know.
144
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,490
Why don't you put me up
on the rack for a closer look.
145
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,490
Ooh, yeah...
146
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,490
Nothing I find sexier
than a man with--
147
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:52,500
Baco bits in his moustache.
148
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,500
Hey, while you're grooming,
you might wanna check your hair.
149
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,510
Looks like you're down a quart.
150
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:14,020
Oh, God, they're at it again.
151
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,020
Hi.
152
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,020
Hi, back.
153
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,520
Been thinking about you.
154
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,520
Oh yeah?
155
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,520
I bet I was thinking
about you
156
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,530
before you were thinking
about me.
157
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,530
Bet you weren't.
158
00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:25,530
( both chuckling )
159
00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:28,530
Excuse me... uh, would someone
mind taking a hammer
160
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,030
and driving this into my skull?
161
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,540
Oh, I think they're sweet,
162
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,540
and I think you're
a little bit jealous.
163
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,540
( high-pitched ):
Of what?
164
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,040
( clears throat ):
Of what?
165
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:43,050
Well, for one thing,
Alex picked Brian over you.
166
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,550
And for another...
167
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,050
he's got a smile
that lights up a room.
168
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,560
Everybody says so.
169
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,570
Look, for the record,
I am not jealous,
170
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:03,570
I just don't happen
to care for
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00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,070
their public displays
of affection.
172
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,070
I'm with you on this one,
Hackett.
173
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,070
Some things should just
remain private.
174
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:12,580
It's is nobody's business what
goes on behind closed doors
175
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,580
between a man
and a woman...
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00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,080
and another woman.
177
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,580
Well, I think there's a limit
to how much affection
178
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,090
should be displayed in public.
179
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,090
I mean, after a certain point,
180
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,590
isn't that what bedrooms
are for?
181
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:28,590
Or restrooms on 747's?
182
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,600
Well, as a stewardess,
you hear things.
183
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,100
Come on, Joe, you're being
too hard on Brian and Alex,
184
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,100
just leave them alone.
185
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,600
Are you telling me you enjoy
186
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,610
watching those two
drool all over each other?
187
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,610
When did you become
such a prude?
188
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,110
You know, it seems that
I remember,
189
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,110
back when we were dating, that
somebody got a little frisky
190
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,620
at the Museum of Fine Arts.
191
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,620
We never went to the museum.
192
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:04,130
Oh, well, you know...
193
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,130
You missed a great exhibition.
194
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,140
Joe, you gotta help me.
195
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,650
That guy Larry keeps calling me
and calling me.
196
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,650
How do I get rid of him?
197
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:27,150
You don't,
he's an insurance guy.
198
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:32,660
I'd say your best bet
would be to enter
199
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:35,660
an insurance relocation program.
200
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:38,160
We'll have to alter your
appearance and change your name,
201
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,160
and move to a new city.
202
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,160
Plan on doing it
every few months because...
203
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,160
he'll find you.
204
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,170
They always do.
205
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670
Hey, Joey.
206
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,670
Can you, uhh...
207
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,670
Can you take
the late flight today?
208
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,680
Uhh, yeah.
Yeah, I guess so.
209
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:53,680
Why, what's up?
210
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,680
Well, Alex asked me over
to her house for dinner,
211
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,180
and I get the feeling that she
wants me to stay for breakfast.
212
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,180
HELEN:
Ohh...
213
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,680
How do you know that?
214
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,190
She told me she wanted me
to stay for breakfast.
215
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,690
This is so funny, you know,
I actually believed you
216
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,190
when you said Alex
was different.
217
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,190
Well, she is different.
218
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,200
ALL:
I know I've said that before.
219
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,200
ALL:
But this time.
220
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,200
ALL:
I really mean it.
221
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,700
I hate when you do that.
222
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,210
Brian, you are doing
what you always do.
223
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,710
You're setting her up for
your famous three-step program.
224
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,210
Step one, you meet a woman.
225
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,210
Step two--
226
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,210
You sleep with her.
227
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,710
Yeah,
step three...
228
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,710
the phone rings,
you have me tell her
229
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,720
that you moved to Arizona
because of your sinuses.
230
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,720
The hell I do.
231
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,220
The hell you don't, you even
sneeze on the first date
232
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,720
in case you need it later.
233
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,230
Face it, Brian, every time
you sleep with a woman,
234
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,230
you immediately lose respect
for her.
235
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,730
I know I do.
236
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,730
I don't do that.
237
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:52,740
Yes, you do.
238
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:53,740
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
239
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,240
No, I don't.
240
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,240
Fine...
you don't.
241
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,740
Then take it back.
242
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,250
Okay.
I take it back.
243
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,250
Yeah, you say
you're taking it back,
244
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,750
but you still think
that I do that.
245
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,750
That's because you do.
246
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:12,260
It's always the same bizarre
pattern with you.
247
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,760
It's-- It's almost pathological.
248
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,260
You know...
249
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,270
maybe you should talk
to someone.
250
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,270
Can I get you guys
anything else?
251
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,270
No, thanks.
252
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,270
We've got to be going.
253
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:33,280
There is no bizarre, perverted
pattern to my sex life.
254
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,280
Fill 'er up.
Maybe just one more cup.
255
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,280
Furthermore, if I ever
needed advice on my sex life,
256
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,780
I certainly wouldn't be
coming to you.
257
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:41,780
ROY:
Hey, listen.
258
00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:44,290
When it comes to matters
of the flesh,
259
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:46,290
just do what I do.
I say--
260
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,790
Oh, my Lord,
he's going to tell us.
261
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:52,300
I say that a real man
never misses an opportunity.
262
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,800
That's why, at my house, there's
always cold duck in the fridge,
263
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,300
and a fresh tape
in the camcorder.
264
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,800
Hey, does anyone ever
go out with you twice?
265
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
Doesn't matter.
266
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,810
That's why I've got
the camcorder.
267
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,310
Brian, you know,
I don't care what you do.
268
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,810
Sleep with her,
don't sleep with her.
269
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,810
Wine her, dine her,
date her, dump her.
270
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,810
I don't care. Just don't
give me the stuff about
271
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,320
how this time
it's going to be different.
272
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,820
You know what, I really--
273
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,320
I don't know what's wrong
with you people.
274
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,320
I treat women great.
275
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,820
That's right, you do...
276
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:19,820
At first.
277
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,320
Then you turn into an ass.
278
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,330
Uhh, and-and who are you?
279
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,330
Susan...
280
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,830
As in, "I'll never
forget you," Susan.
281
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,340
I visited here
a couple of years ago,
282
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,340
and you and I went out
a couple of times.
283
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,840
You never called.
284
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,340
And when I tried to call you,
285
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,340
some idiot told me
you had moved to Arizona.
286
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:44,850
( sneezes )
287
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,850
So, how you been?
288
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,850
You've unbelievable.
289
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:54,360
Uh, Brian. I was just
leafing through
290
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,860
my new psychology textbook,
and I noticed something
291
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,360
that might apply
to your situation.
292
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,360
Umm, here it is.
293
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,370
"The insecure male. The
subject," that would be you,
294
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:07,870
"is driven by the thrill
of sexual conquest.
295
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,370
This behavior often masks
a latent..."
296
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,380
Umm... You know what?
297
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,880
I'll get back to you.
298
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,380
Not that I have to defend myself
to you people,
299
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,890
but I happen to believe that
a physical relationship
300
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:25,890
between two adults is perfectly
healthy and normal,
301
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,890
I mean, what about you two guys,
when you were going out,
302
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:28,890
how long did you wait?
303
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:30,390
Not long enou--
Forever.
304
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,900
This is not about us.
It's none of your business.
305
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:39,400
I-I will never understand
this attitude you Americans
306
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,900
have about sex.
307
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,910
You're always in such a hurry.
308
00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:46,410
You think love is something
you order from a clown
309
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,410
and pick up
at a drive-in window.
310
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,910
It is, in Vegas.
311
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:54,920
Oh, grow up.
312
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,420
Listen, you are rushing
to the dining room
313
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:01,420
without enjoying the pleasures
of the kitchen.
314
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:04,930
It's like, when I prepare
a fine sauce,
315
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:08,930
I start with
the pure virgin olive oil,
316
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,930
the nice,
firm tomatoes,
317
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:16,440
succulent peppers, and then,
I add just the right spices
318
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,440
until all the flavors
come together
319
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,440
in a passionate embrace.
320
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:27,450
Boiling, bubbling
and churning, writhing...
321
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:32,960
up and down, up and down,
up and down.
322
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:37,960
Until the rich, raging,
cataclysmic explosion.
323
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960
I was told you drove a taxi.
324
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,970
Could you take me downtown?
325
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,970
In a minute.
326
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:53,980
Okay, okay, okay.
327
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,480
Y-y-you guys...
328
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,980
have made your point.
329
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,480
Maybe I was, in the past...
330
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,490
living too much for the moment.
331
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:05,490
And not that its any
of your business,
332
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,990
but since Alex is special,
maybe it would be better
333
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:10,990
if I took things just
a little bit more slowly.
334
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,000
Yeah. Slowly.
335
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,000
I think that's-that's
definitely the best way to go.
336
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,000
I can't believe we waited
this long.
337
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,010
Seems like forever.
338
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,520
I have to admit,
I'm a little nervous.
339
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,520
That's okay, we're even,
so, uhh...
340
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,520
why don't we just
help each other relax, okay?
341
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,530
Okay.
342
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,530
Hi, there.
343
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,030
( yelps )
344
00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,540
Oh, what, what,
what, did I hurt you?
345
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,040
No. No, it's uhh,
it's uhh...
346
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,040
What?
347
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,540
Way to take things slowly.
348
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,040
This is incredible.
349
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,050
I can't believe it, either.
350
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:13,560
( chuckles ):
Wow.
351
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,060
Step one: you meet her.
352
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,060
Step two: you sleep with her.
353
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,560
What do you want?
354
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,060
Why don't we just find our way?
355
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,070
Step three: you dump her.
356
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,570
This can't be happening.
357
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,070
Brian, are you okay?
358
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:34,080
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
359
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,580
Now, umm...
where were we?
360
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:42,580
Tsk-tsk-tsk...
361
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,590
Oh, my God...
362
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,090
Do you really think
the sauce is ready.
363
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,600
Yes.
364
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,600
God, yes.
365
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:03,110
Oh, this is making me crazy.
366
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,110
How about this?
367
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:10,110
Look what's in my psychology
book under "insecure man."
368
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,620
Oh, stop it.
369
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,620
Oh, I-I'm sorry,
I thought you'd like that.
370
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,130
You know what,
you know what, maybe--
371
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,130
Maybe we're rushing
into things,
372
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:27,130
you know, maybe we should
just stop.
373
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,630
Stop?
374
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,630
Oh, you little tease.
375
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,140
ROY:
Come on, Hackett.
376
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,140
Don't stop now.
Go for it.
377
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:42,650
Move a little to the left,
you're blocking my view.
378
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,650
Oh, this can't go on all night.
379
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:53,160
It can if we pace ourselves.
380
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,160
HELEN:
Hey, Brian.
381
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,160
( yelps )
382
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,160
So, what's it gonna be?
383
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,660
Are you serious about her,
or not?
384
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:02,660
( whining ):
Helen...
385
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,170
Helen?
386
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,170
Did I say Helen?
387
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,670
Yes, you sure did.
388
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,670
I mean, if you'd rather
be with Helen...
389
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:13,680
No, no, no.
No, no.
390
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,680
I would--
I-it's, uhh...
391
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,180
This isn't about Helen,
this is--
392
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,180
It actually started with Joe.
393
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,690
Oh, Helen and Joe.
394
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,190
Well, why stop with them,
395
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,690
why don't you just bring
the whole gang in here.
396
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:28,690
Well...
397
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,200
Brian...
what's going on?
398
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,700
I-I I mean,
you're so distracted,
399
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,200
it's like
you're someplace else.
400
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,700
No, no, no.
I'm here, I'm here.
401
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,700
Believe me, I'm here,
I'm just...
402
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,700
wondering if I should be.
403
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:45,710
Yeah, well, I'm beginning
to wonder the same thing.
404
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,710
Wait a second, just wait,
wait one second.
405
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:52,210
Just give me one second,
I think I can explain.
406
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,720
Okay.
407
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:57,220
It's been called
to my attention...
408
00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:00,220
that, in the past, right,
409
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:05,230
I may have screwed up
some relationships by, you know,
410
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,730
getting too close, too soon.
411
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:12,230
I mean, you and I have only been
together for a little while.
412
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,240
But already I feel like
there's something special.
413
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,240
I'm not saying it's love,
I mean, who knows what that is.
414
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,250
I-I...
I don't know.
415
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:29,250
But I would be willing to
forego all this...
416
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:32,760
if it would give us
a chance at making us last.
417
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,760
Let me get this straight.
418
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,770
After all the chasing you did,
now you want to wait.
419
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,770
I know, I'm sorry.
420
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:47,770
That's--
421
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:53,280
The most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
422
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,280
You like me enough
not to sleep with me.
423
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:02,280
Oh, yeah. I like you enough
never to sleep with you.
424
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:06,290
You know...
425
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,790
when I think about it...
426
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:13,800
I've jumped into some
relationships too soon, myself.
427
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,800
I think you're right.
428
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,300
We'll wait.
429
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,810
( sighs )
430
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,810
So this is us waiting.
431
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,310
It's not so bad.
432
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,310
Right.
Yeah.
433
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:30,810
So, what do I do now?
434
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:34,320
Do I go home and wait
all by myself?
435
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:41,820
Well, you don't have to go.
I mean, we could just sleep.
436
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,330
Uh-huh. Yes.
437
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:47,330
Kid, if I had a dollar for
every time I used that line...
438
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,830
I...
439
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:51,830
I couldn't.
440
00:20:52,830 --> 00:20:53,840
Neither could I.
441
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,340
Good night kiss?
442
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:14,360
See, this is good.
443
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:18,860
It's good because the longer
we wait, the better it'll be.
444
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,360
Absolutely.
445
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:32,370
Do you think we've waited
long enough?
446
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,380
Bye.
447
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,880
( piano theme playing )
448
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:57,400
( upbeat piano theme playing )
29480
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