Original subtitles

MY NAME IS STEVE SCHIRRIPA,

AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT REVENGE.

YOU GET CHEATED ON, LIED TO.

YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED.

YOU WANT TO GET EVEN...

[ GUNSHOT ] AAH!

WE TERMED HIM "THE ULTIMATE DEADBEAT DAD."

I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN, THIS TOTAL REJECTION.

I HAD TO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT ENERGY.

I COULDN'T JUST SWALLOW IT.

...BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND DOES COME AROUND.

IT'S CALLED KARMA, AND THERE'S A SAYING --

--Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

[ SLAP ] OW!

Schirripa: THIS IS A STORY OF HOW KARMA CAUGHT UP WITH A GUY

NAMED JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN,

WHO HAD JUST NO INTEREST IN SUPPORTING HIS KIDS.

IT STARTS OUT IN HAPPIER TIMES.

THE YEAR IS 1967 -- SOUTH CAROLINA.

JOHNNY MARTIN AND GAYLE FOWLER ARE YOUNG LOVEBIRDS.

JOHNNY'S 19.

GAYLE'S A SWEET 16.

GAYLE MIGHT BE SWEET, BUT SHE'S GOT SOME GRIT TO HER.

YEAH. THAT'S HER A FEW YEARS LATER,

AND IT'S HER RACECAR, TOO.

GAYLE FIGURES SHE CAN HANDLE A GUY WHO THINKS HE'S TOUGH.

DESPITE HIS MONIKER,

THERE'S NOTHING STERLING ABOUT JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN.

HE'S TROUBLE.

GAYLE'S DAD SPOTS THAT A MILE OFF.

[ LAUGHS ]

Schirripa: GAYLE'S DAD TRIES TO END THE ROMANCE.

INSTEAD, HE GETS JOHNNY AS A SON-IN-LAW.

[ CAR HORN HONKS ]

SO, GAYLE'S TEENAGE MARRIAGE STARTS WITH A LIE,

AND IT GOES DOWNHILL FAST.

GAYLE'S DAD WAS RIGHT ABOUT JOHNNY MARTIN,

BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

[ SLAP ] AAH!

IT'S THE EARLY '70s.

GAYLE'S GOT TWO KIDS NOW.

AND SHE'S DETERMINED TO KEEP HER FAMILY TOGETHER.

BUT JOHNNY GIVES HER NOTHING TO WORK WITH.

IN FACT, HE'S A DANGER TO HER AND THE KIDS.

ONE DAY JOHNNY GETS PISSED OFF

AND SETS THE HOUSE AFIRE WITH THE KIDS INSIDE.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

GAYLE GRABS THE KIDS, GUNS THE V-8,

AND DOESN'T LOOK BACK.

THAT'S WHEN I WAS LIKE...

Schirripa: SHE DIVORCES JOHNNY.

THE COURT ORDERS HIM TO PAY 50 BUCKS A WEEK

TO FEED AND CLOTHE HIS CHILDREN.

50 BUCKS A WEEK IS 50 BUCKS MORE

THAN JOHNNY MARTIN WANTS TO PAY TO SUPPORT HIS TWO KIDS.

HE'D RATHER SPEND HIS MONEY ON BOURBON AND BABES,

EVEN IF IT MEANS A TRIP TO THE SLAMMER.

HE'S NOT BEHIND BARS LONG BEFORE HE MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

[ GLASS BREAKING ]

AND ONCE HE ESCAPES, HE GOES BACK TO HIS SHIFTLESS LIFE.

AND FOR SOME REASON,

SOUTH CAROLINA'S LEGAL SYSTEM DOESN'T CHASE HIM.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT DON'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT?

THEY SHOULD ROT IN JAIL.

WELL, I THINK HE'S GONNA BE DEALING WITH CHILDREN

THAT HAVE A LOT OF ABANDONMENT ISSUES.

KARMICALLY, HE'S GONNA BE REALLY SCREWED.

A GUY DOESN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT,

TAKE CARE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITY --

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE PENALTY SHOULD BE?

HE SHOULD HAVE REALLY, REALLY CUTE GRANDCHILDREN

THAT DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM.

[ CROW CAWS ]

JOHNNY MOVES TO ALABAMA.

HE DOESN'T MEND HIS WAYS.

BUT THE COPS THERE NEVER FIND OUT

HE'S WANTED IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

SOMEHOW HE FINDS ANOTHER WOMAN TO MARRY HIM.

THE LUCKY GIRL'S NAME IS MARY, AND SHE'S JUST HIS TYPE --

THE TYPE WHO'D GO IN ON A PLAN

TO KIDNAP THE TWO KIDS HE'S NEVER BOTHERED TO SUPPORT.

THEY THINK GAYLE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND THEM.

DRAG-RACER GAYLE

SCORCHES THE 400 MILES TO BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA.

SHE'S GONNA GET HER KIDS BACK OR DIE TRYING.

SHE FINDS HER KIDS, BUT MARY'S BETWEEN HER AND THEM,

AND THE NEW MRS. MARTIN'S GOT A GUN.

[ GUNSHOT ] AAH!

[ CRYING ]

[ SIREN WAILS ]

GAYLE'S RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL.

LUCKILY FOR EVERYONE,

MARY'S AIM IS AS BAD AS HER JUDGMENT,

AND GAYLE'S ONE TOUGH COOKIE.

IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS BEFORE SHE AND THE KIDS

ARE SAFE IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

THE ALABAMA POLICE ARREST MARY,

BUT NOW GAYLE HAS TO MAKE A PAINFUL CHOICE.

SO, GAYLE STAYS WITH HER DYING DAD,

AND, ONCE AGAIN, JOHNNY MARTIN GETS OFF SCOT-FREE.

GAYLE NEVER GETS HER DAY IN COURT,

WHILE HER ABUSIVE EX JUST KEEPS ON TRUCKING

THROUGH HIS LIFE OF CRIME.

HE'S BEEN CHARGED WITH EVERYTHING

FROM ASSAULT AND BATTERY OF A HIGH AND AGGRAVATED NATURE.

HE'S BEEN CHARGED WITH PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS,

TAKING A CHILD OVER STATE LINE.

Schirripa: SHE NEVER GETS A DIME,

BUT AFTER ALL JOHNNY'S DONE,

GAYLE'S NOT GONNA PUT HER LIFE ON THE LINE AGAIN.

THE YEARS GO BY.

THE KIDS GROW UP,

AND JOHNNY MARTIN IS JUST A PAINFUL MEMORY.

ONE DAY ON TV GAYLE SEES A STORY

ABOUT A FUGITIVE WHO WAS CAUGHT AFTER 20 YEARS ON THE LAMB.

THE STORY GETS GAYLE THINKING.

SHE WORKED HER FINGERS TO THE BONE

TO GIVE HER KIDS A DECENT LIFE.

JOHNNY NEVER CONTRIBUTED ANYTHING BUT TROUBLE.

HE OWES HER MORE THAN 30 GRAND,

AND NOW SHE'S READY TO MAKE HIM PAY.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

SO, GAYLE GOES DOWN TO THE FAMILY COURT.

WHEN SHE LOOKS INSIDE THE JOHNNY MARTIN FILE,

WHAT SHE GETS IS THE SHOCK OF HER LIFE.

ACCORDING TO THE COURT'S RECORDS,

JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN'S BEEN DEAD FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS.

[ DOG BARKING ]

SO, KARMA FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HE LIED TO EVERYBODY.

HE BEAT HIS WIFE, SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE,

KIDNAPPED THE KIDS HE WOULDN'T PAY TO SUPPORT,

AND RAN FROM THE LAW.

BUT THEN THE SCUMBAG ENDS UP GETTING KILLED IN A BAR FIGHT.

SOMETIMES BAD THINGS DO HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE.

THAT'S KARMA, RIGHT?

THERE'S ONLY ONE PROBLEM -- A LOT OF THAT STUFF HAPPENED

AFTER JOHNNY WAS SUPPOSEDLY DEAD.

HEY, KARMA, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

[ BIRD SQUAWKING ]

Schirripa: SOUTH CAROLINA SINGLE MOM GAYLE PRINCE

FINALLY GOT THE GUTS

TO GO AFTER HER ABUSIVE EX-HUSBAND, JOHNNY MARTIN,

FOR THE TRUCKLOAD OF CHILD SUPPORT HE OWES HER.

LOOKS LIKE SHE'S OUT OF LUCK.

COURT RECORDS SAY JOHNNY DIED NEARLY 30 YEARS AGO,

BUT GAYLE KNOWS HER EX'S COLD AND GREEDY HEART

IS STILL THUMPING.

AND SHE ALSO KNOWS WHERE THEY CAN FIND HIM.

[ DOG BARKING ]

HELLO. I'M CALLING ABOUT JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN.

I SAID...

Schirripa: GOOD QUESTION.

WHY DID SOUTH CAROLINA PUT IN ITS RECORDS

THAT JOHNNY MARTIN DIED IN 1979,

WHEN GAYLE SAW HIM AT HER MOTHER'S FUNERAL JUST LAST YEAR?

SO, HOW DID HE DO IT?

IT WAS EASY.

JOHNNY GOT SOMEBODY TO CALL THE COURT

AND TELL THE CLERK THAT HE WAS DEAD.

AND NO CHASE.

THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW DOESN'T REACH INTO THE GRAVE.

THERE WAS NO LONGER ANY REASON TO LOOK FOR HIM.

THE COURT VACATED ITS ARREST WARRANT

FOR JOHNNY STERLING MARTIN.

AND, OF COURSE, THE ESCAPE WARRANT WAS VACATED, AS WELL.

Schirripa: GAYLE PRINCE HAS ABOUT 30,000 REASONS

TO RESURRECT JOHNNY -- AT LEAST, IN THE COURT RECORDS.

HE'S BEEN PLAYING POSSUM

TO DODGE PAYING WHAT HE OWES FOR THREE DECADES.

GAYLE DECIDES IT'S HIGH TIME

JOHNNY'S KARMA COMES MARCHING HOME.

GAYLE PRINCE WANTS REVENGE,

BUT SHE GOES ABOUT IT THE RIGHT WAY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

IT TOOK AWHILE,

BUT WHO'S KNOCKING ON JOHNNY MARTIN'S DOOR IS KARMA.

IT'S SHERIFF METTS WHO SENT HER.

Metts: NEVER IN MY 40 YEARS OF SERVICE AS SHERIFF OF THE COUNTY

HAVE I EVER SEEN THE UNIQUENESS OF THIS INDIVIDUAL

THAT ACTUALLY PUT IN JAIL, WALKED OFF,

AND THEN WENT OUT AND FAKED HIS OWN DEATH

SO THAT HE COULD AVOID PAYING CHILD SUPPORT.

WE'VE NEVER SEEN THAT.

Schirripa: OF COURSE, JOHNNY'S ALSO KEEN TO AVOID

GOING BACK TO JAIL FOR ESCAPING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WE TERMED HIM "THE ULTIMATE DEADBEAT DAD"

BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

AND HE BEAT THE SYSTEM FOR ALL THIS PERIOD OF TIME.

Schirripa: JOHNNY WAS SO SURE THAT HE HAD IT BEAT

THAT HE WAS BACK IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

WITH GAYLE'S HELP,

SHERIFF METTS TRACKS HIM DOWN IN MYRTLE BEACH.

GAYLE NEVER DOES GET ANY OF THAT 30 GRAND JOHNNY OWES HER.

30 YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO WAIT.

EVEN THEN, GAYLE PRINCE HAD TO GIVE KARMA

A SERIOUS KICK IN THE BUTT.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF PATIENCE,

YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS STORY.

IT'S ABOUT DENTIST NAMED ANNA.

FOR AWHILE, EVERYTHING'S GREAT

BETWEEN ANNA AND BOYFRIEND MERRICK.

CORRECTION -- EX-BOYFRIEND.

MERRICK DUMPS HER FOR ANOTHER WOMAN.

BUT THEY'RE STILL FRIENDS, RIGHT?

IN FACT, ANNA'S STILL HIS DENTIST.

SO, WHEN MERRICK GETS A BAD TOOTHACHE, HE GOES TO HER.

BIG MISTAKE.

ANNA PULLS MERRICK'S BAD MOLAR. UGH!

TOOTHACHE GONE.

[ DRILL WHIRRING ]

THEN SHE YANKS ALL THE GOOD TEETH, TOO,

AND HIS HEARTACHE -- GONE.

WHEN THE GAUZE COMES OUT,

MERRICK IS FILLED WITH TOOTHLESS RAGE.

AND THINGS GET EVEN WORSE WHEN HIS NEW SQUEEZE CONFESSES

IT WAS HIS WINNING SMILE SHE ADORED.

SO, KARMA DOESN'T JUST BRING CRIMINALS TO JUSTICE.

SHE'S ALSO THERE TO HELP BROKEN HEARTS GET SWEET REVENGE.

THAT DENTIST STORY IS AN URBAN LEGEND,

BUT THERE'S A REASON PEOPLE TELL STORIES LIKE THAT.

WE'VE ALL BEEN RAISED TO FORGIVE, FORGET,

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK,

BUT WHEN SOMEONE DOES YOU WRONG, IT EATS AT YOU.

YOU WANT THE TABLES TO TURN.

IT'S HUMAN NATURE.

ROLL CAMERA.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY, BUT IF YOU GOT GUTS

AND A LITTLE CREATIVITY, YOU JUST MIGHT PULL IT OFF.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN.

I HAD TO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT ENERGY.

I COULDN'T JUST SWALLOW IT.

THERE'S ALL KINDS OF WAYS TO TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS

WHEN IT'S REVENGE YOU WANT.

MOST OF THE TIME,

VENGEANCE IS A DO-IT-YOURSELF PROJECT.

BUT WHAT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO?

OKAY, SO, HERE'S THE SCENE -- YOU'RE AN ACTRESS.

YOU'RE JUST OUT OF SCHOOL.

YOU GET CAST IN YOUR FIRST PROFESSIONAL ROLE.

AND IT'S A BIG ROLE THAT SHOWS YOUR TALENT FOR COMEDY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU'RE LUCIA BRIZZI,

AND YOU'RE LIVING THE ACTOR'S DREAM.

GRAZIE A TUTTI.

Brizzi: IT WAS SUCH A HUGE PART, YOU KNOW?

COMEDY -- ALREADY YOU HAVE SO MUCH FREEDOM TO BE BIG,

AND THEN BEING AN ITALIAN IN A COMEDY,

IT WAS JUST LIKE ALL EMOTIONS CAN COME OUT.

WHAT, YOU THINK I'M HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU, I'M HERE TO BE...

Schirripa: LUCIA'S PLAYING THE FIERY ALITALIA STEWARDESS

IN A BEDROOM FARCE CALLED "BOEING-BOEING."

AS SOON AS MY HUSBAND GETS OUT OF JAIL,

I KNEW A FEW PEOPLE, OKAY?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THEN THE BIG-CITY REVIEWER COMES CALLING.

Brizzi: THE BOSTON GLOBE WROTE A REVIEW,

AND IT WAS SO INCREDIBLY, HORRIFICALLY BAD.

SHE SAID, "LUCIA BRIZZI DOES NOT UNDERSTAND

HOW A PASSIONATE ITALIAN WOMAN ACTS."

Schirripa: WHY WOULD THE CRITIC

LAND SO HARD ON POOR LITTLE LUCIA?

MEET TERRY BYRNE.

SHE SEES HERSELF AS KIND OF A CONSUMER REPORTER,

PROTECTING HER READERS FROM BAD ACTING.

NO ONE WAS FUNNY IN THIS PLAY, WHICH IS DEADLY FOR A FARCE.

Brizzi: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

EVERYTHING ABOUT HER PERFORMANCE WAS CHEESY.

SHE WAS BEYOND BEING AN ITALIAN STEREOTYPE.

SHE WAS JUST BEING BIG AND LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS,

AND I DON'T THINK IT WAS ITALIAN.

I THINK IT WAS JUST BIG AND LOUD.

[ Italian accent ] IS THIS ITALIAN ENOUGH FOR YOU?

OH!

[ IMITATING CRYING ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

I WAS SHOCKED.

AND I WAS EMBARRASSED, REALLY EMBARRASSED.

I WAS ASHAMED.

I AM A PASSIONATE ITALIAN WOMAN.

I'M NOT GONNA LET SOME LADY QUESTION THAT.

Schirripa: IT'S NOT HARD TO HURT AN ACTOR'S FEELINGS.

AND WITH A NAME LIKE LUCIA BRIZZI,

YOU'RE PRETTY SURE YOUR ITALIAN BONA FIDES ARE UP TO SNUFF.

[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]

SUPPOSE IF SOMEONE SAYS TO YOU,

"CLAUDIO, YOU'RE NOT ITALIAN ENOUGH."

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

[ Italian accent ] I'D SWEAR BACK TO HIM IN ITALIAN.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? [ Italian accent] THE SAME.

I WOULD SAY -- I WOULD SPEAK IN ITALIAN.

WE'D BE LIKE, "OF COURSE I'M ITALIAN. COME ON."

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW ITALIAN YOU ARE.

[ SPEAKING ITALIAN ]

Woman: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, THOUGH?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN, "YOU'RE NOT ITALIAN ENOUGH"?

WHAT PROVES HOW ITALIAN YOU ARE?

ON BEHALF OF MY ITALIAN SISTERS AND BROTHERS,

LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH WE DON'T LIKE

BEING CALLED "NOT ITALIAN ENOUGH."

I MEAN, WHO'S THE GOOMBAH HERE -- YOU OR ME?

THERE'S NO WAY LUCIA CAN LET THIS GO.

BUT WHAT'S SHE GONNA COME UP WITH TO HEAL HER WOUNDED PRIDE?

AND WILL THINGS GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER?

THE PROSCIUTTO IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IS THAT ITALIAN ENOUGH FOR YOU?

ACTORS -- WE'RE EMOTIONAL PEOPLE.

WE PUT IT ALL OUT THERE,

AND WHAT WE NEED TO GET BACK IS APPROVAL, RESPECT,

MAYBE EVEN LOVE.

THE PEOPLE WHO CAN REALLY HURT OUR FEELINGS ARE CRITICS.

THAT REVIEW STINGS.

NOW, ACTRESS LUCIA BRIZZI

IS DETERMINED TO GET HER PRIDE BACK.

[ SIGHS DRAMATICALLY ]

LUCIA FIGHTS BACK WITH THE VERY THINGS

REVIEWER BYRNE SAID HER PERFORMANCE LACKED.

I THOUGHT, "HOW FUN WOULD IT BE TO DO

"ALL THE ITALIAN-AMERICAN STEREOTYPES

IN ONE LITTLE VIDEO?"

Schirripa: THERE IS ONE GOOD THING IN LUC'S LIFE --

HER BOYFRIEND.

AND HE KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE A CAMERA.

WE SHOOT IT IN ONE AFTERNOON,

AND THEN THAT NIGHT I EDITED IT, WOKE UP IN THE MORNING,

PUT IT ON YouTube, AND IT WAS DONE.

[ ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYING ]

Schirripa: PREMIERING "REVENGE ITALIANIO" ON THE WEB PAYS OFF.

AND LUCIA'S LITTLE VIDEO IS A HIT.

I WAS A LITTLE CELEBRITY IN THE TOWN.

EVERYONE WAS ALL EXCITED ABOUT THIS VIDEO THAT I'D MADE.

Schirripa: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TARGET?

A GUY AT THE THEATER SENDS TERRY BYRNE

A LINK TO LUCIA'S VIDEO.

DOES THAT HEARTLESS CRITIC

FEEL THE STING OF RIGHTEOUS VENGEANCE?

Byrne: I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS.

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CLEVER.

HERE'S THE PERFORMANCE THAT I DID NOT SEE

ONSTAGE IN THAT PRODUCTION.

Schirripa: OKAY. MAYBE TERRY'S NOT SO BAD.

I WAS SO HAPPY THAT SHE WAS, YOU KNOW,

SUCH A COOL SPORT ABOUT IT.

SO, ACTRESS LUCIA BRIZZI HAS GRABBED KARMA BY THE HORNS.

SHE SHOWED THAT SNOBBY REVIEWER

THAT SHE'S AS ITALIAN AS PASTA FAZOOL.

LUCIA'S GOT HER PRIDE BACK.

BUT WAIT.

REMEMBER THAT HUNKY NEW LOVE WHO HELPED OUT?

HE DUMPS HER.

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

"YOU CRY TOO MUCH," HE SAYS,

"AND YOU'RE NOT PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY."

[ IMITATING CRYING ]

TOO EMOTIONAL?

BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELT, BIFF.

"REVENGE ITALIANIO" IS GETTING A SEQUEL.

Brizzi: WELL, I MADE "REVENGE ITALIANIO PART II."

I WANT TO MAKE HIM, LIKE, "UGH," LIKE, "WHAT DID I LET GO OF?"

ACTUALLY...

Schirripa: THE CRUCIAL ROLE -- HER EX'S HOT REPLACEMENT.

YOU CAN PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON IF YOU NEED TO.

MM-HMM. THANKS.

THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE REVENGE VIDEOGRAPHER.

LUCIA'S EX, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT.

Brizzi: I AM A PASSIONATE ITALIAN WOMAN,

AND THAT MEANS I'M GONNA HAVE A VERY PASSIONATE ITALIAN LIFE.

THAT IS MY DESTINY, SO CAN'T NOBODY TAKE THAT AWAY.

IT TOOK GAYLE PRINCE HALF HER LIFETIME

TO GIVE KARMA THE NUDGE SHE NEEDED TO DO RIGHT BY HER.

THE YOUNGER GENERATION AREN'T SO PATIENT.

LUCIA BRIZZI AVENGED HER BAD REVIEW

WITHIN DAYS OF THE PAPER HITTING THE STANDS.

KARMA'S PACE IS PICKING UP.

SO, A WORD TO THE WISE --

TRY TO DO RIGHT BY PEOPLE,

BECAUSE KARMA -- SHE'S A BITCH.