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Previously on Average Joe. I made money.

Teddy is my father.

What makes you think Teddy is still alive?

Americans, they escaped with the dots.

You'll get rid of this body and this car. And this Billie Jean. I will see to

it myself.

We are going to find whoever did this to you. But they will cause the

fingerprints.

Tell me what's happening. I don't know. Wait, Teddy. Oh, my mama. Where is my

heroin?

Where's my heroin?

I should have done this on your wedding day.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Beautiful.

Damn, I love black ass.

Talk to me.

These asses cannot be real, man.

Some of them are.

Most of them not. How do you tell the difference?

Oh, shit.

If that thing ain't got dimples and stretch marks and stand at attention,

ready to give your dick a high five from two feet away, then it ain't from God.

Did you just say give your dick a high five? I'm fucking high five.

I'd fucking love to see that. Oh, dear God, please let him fall in love with

her instead.

She'd be way cheaper than Kathy's little gold-digging ass.

You're going to tell him, right?

Come fuck me?

Can't this shit wait till tomorrow?

No. Oh, come on, man. We've been tiptoeing around this shit too long.

It's got to be tonight.

It's going to kill the vibe.

Her name's Crystal.

Crystal Chandelier.

Crystal Chandelier. Yeah, I know. We got it, man.

She's got her pussies off limits. Obviously.

But our asshole's good to go. Oh, we call him back. Oh, shit.

So I just got something to tell you, fucker.

Yeah, no.

Lee, man.

Yeah, boy, life, right? And love and marriage and your friends and the

friends that are honest. And fuck, you know, life is tricky, right?

For the love of God, touch.

Lee, you know you're our brother. We love you, right? Look, we just want the

best for you, both of us.

But?

Run.

Run as fast and as far as you can away from Cat, the old gold-digging ass.

What?

How could she say that?

Why would you say that?

Lee, dude, she's spending your money like waters.

I don't even know what that means. It means your fucking money is going down

the fucking drain. She's like a little sewer monster. All she do is just stays

down there and laps up all your shit.

Are you guys serious?

Wait, wait, are you jealous I finally got somebody?

You're going to tell me this at my bachelor party of all places?

What is wrong with you guys?

What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?

I thought you guys would want to celebrate in my union. Turns out I'm the

only one who wants to cheers to my forever.

Okay, hold on. Just wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you for real?

Like Kathy's your forever?

Yeah. Guys, she's my everything.

Well, if it makes you happy, that's all that matters.

If you rock with her, we rock with you.

But if you ever change your mind, it's forever.

Goodbye, bitch!

Put the

gun

down, Cap.

I'm all right.

I'm all right.

Tell Touch to put his shit down.

Touch?

Please take your gun off my wife.

You want to dance, huh?

You want to fucking dance? Pull the trigger, bitch.

You think I won't shoot your white ass?

We in Africa, motherfucker.

They'll throw me a parade. You couldn't fucking kill me if you tried. I already

shot you once before, Touch. Don't fuck with me. Then just do it.

Fucking kill me right now. I'm getting real tired of motherfuckers

underestimating me. Come on.

Shoot me.

Shoot me.

Fucking shoot me right now! Come on!

Enough!

You have disrespected my home enough.

Joe, Joe, I would have came clean if I thought for even a moment that Ange and

Jen were in any real danger. Just shut the fuck up.

Just shut the fuck up.

And you, you watched Jen grow up. She loved her fucking Kathy.

You put her through hell again.

You didn't cause that, Joe.

You brought that shit into mine.

You never seem to remember that part, do you?

I don't remember your fault. It's like nothing.

Get the fuck out.

Joe, please. Get the fuck out!

Take this motherfucker with you.

Woo! That was some shit, right?

Fuck me.

So what's next?

We gotta find out who killed that kid in the desert. That's what's next.

And then we gotta figure out what the hell Teddy's been up to, because shit's

gotten weird.

You think he's alive, huh? See, I think he's dead for real this time. And then I

think we gotta go back to fucking Billy G's, because that dude is hiding

something. What are you talking about?

Chasing death.

Living off the adrenaline and shit, huh? That's your new shit, your new fix,

right? Huh?

You... You actually believe that you, like, Some type of fucking hero, huh?

Made of, like, Pittsburgh steel or shit. Hold on a second, Joe. I just jumped in

to save your ass. No, no, no, no. You stepped in to get shot. Oh, please,

Kathy. He wasn't going to fucking shoot me. This shit is real touch.

I got to get my family back, and I can't go home till I figure out why the fuck

Teddy pointed me here, why the fuck he want me with money. I got to get home.

If you want to die, go ahead.

Just don't act like you're doing that shit to protect me.

And until you start moving again like you want to keep fucking breathing, stay

the fuck away from me.

Are you going to say anything?

What is there to say?

We fucked up and I got my ass kicked.

You never should have put a gun on Joe.

Did you see the rage in his eyes?

He was going to kill you, Leon.

And that wasn't about no gin or ass either. That was about the drug money.

I pulled the gun on him because I wasn't going to let his greed kill my husband.

Joe would never kill me.

What are you looking for? A motel.

For what?

We need to be looking for our passports so we can get the fuck up out of here.

It's 3 a.m. The consulate is closed.

I don't need no consulate. I put a tile tracker in our luggage. I know exactly

where our shit is.

And we need to go get it.

Now.

You're serious?

Badass.

Kathy, I just got my ass whooped.

People have been trying to shoot at us ever since we got off a 17-hour flight.

It's our first day. I'm exhausted.

And you think it's a good idea to go out in the middle of the night looking for

our luggage in South Africa from a guy who was trying to kill us?

Yes.

Let me know how it goes.

Okay.

You just gonna sleep through this shit like you do everything else in your

life? I need to get some rest, Kathy.

You do too.

Now, if you want, we can wake up in the mornings, go about the place, see what's

up, before we try and get our shit back. But if not, like I said, let me know how

it goes.

Fine.

Where we staying?

Penguin Motor Lodge.

It's got half a star.

Half a star? Fuck that.

Ain't no telling what we catch sleeping there, no.

Well, then, if you want, we can sleep on this bench, because that's about the

best we can afford right now.

Unless you got some money I don't know about, then you can put us up at the

Ritz. No?

Well, then Penguin Motor Lodge it is.

May I open it to put it back? Sit.

You sure? I don't want to overstep. Open it.

Okay, thank you.

What happened?

Last night, you know, Kathy is insane.

Leon's nutsack has turned to mashed potatoes and... I saw all of that.

What I'm asking is, what happened to you?

What would drive a man to stand in front of a gun and beg for the

trigger to be pulled?

Look, I have spent enough mandatory hours in front of a police department

trying to know exactly where this is going.

I am fine.

Thank you for your concern.

Thank you for the water.

This is lovely. Sit.

I said sit.

You are not fine, and I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm a thangoma. I'm a

spiritual healer.

I believe that all of our ancestors died and protect us, protect the living, and

with their guidance and protection, we are able to bring wholeness where there

is only emptiness.

Well, that's very cool, but I'm pretty sure that my ancestors didn't make it

quite this far south.

Africa is the root of all.

creation that's what they say and you and sisters they are definitely here

they're saying we are listening benjamin

nobody ever calls me benjamin

night that was nothing that you know kathy pulled a gun on my best friend and

i stepped in to protect him that wasn't about protecting joe

you you were trying to prove something okay

that wound you hide is moving out of your soul and it is infecting everyone

And these people, they are your only family, aren't they?

Out of all the kin you could have chosen.

That's interesting.

What I'm not hearing is, what happened to your other family,

Benjamin?

I'd love to take you somewhere.

You want to take me somewhere? Where do you want to take me?

Somewhere very special.

I don't think so. I can't leave Joe.

Yes, you can.

And you must.

Please.

Yeah, okay.

Fine.

This shit's not going to work if we're not on the same page today, Lee.

Then I guess this shit ain't going to work.

You remember when I used to work at the bank?

And that first day that you came by my window, I had seen you there so many

times.

But for some reason, you would always avoid me.

You made me nervous.

Well, I'm glad you finally walked your fine ass over.

Because from the moment we looked into each other's

eyes, we knew that nothing else mattered.

And we have been a team ever since.

One that nobody...

No, baby.

Not even a bankruptcy could fuck with.

Leon, I have rode with you until the wheels literally fell off.

And then I got out and I stood beside you and I fucking pushed.

Yeah, but where are we pushing to, Kat?

Because it's starting to feel like we ain't going nowhere at all.

One step backwards, two steps forward.

Lee, we do this right, we can get our life back and

then some.

I just gotta know that you're with me, baby.

You don't have to manipulate me, Kathy.

I am forever with you.

So we doing this?

Under one condition.

Give me your gun.

You wanna be partners?

You gotta learn how to share power.

Okay.

Okay.

Now let's get our shit back.

Yeah. Fuck! Hey.

Hi. Hi.

Um, I need the car keys.

I need to go find my mom and dad.

You know, I've been trying to call them since we got here, and I keep going

straight to voicemail.

I need to find them. Joe, I don't know, maybe they're at our house waiting for

me.

Yeah?

No, I can't let you do that. It is not safe, all right?

Joe, I'm not a kid. Stop treating me like I'm a child. I know you're not a

child. Listen, Teddy put you in the safe house.

Why would he put you in the safe house?

Because your house isn't safe.

Now listen, I don't know who these motherfuckers are that tried to grab you

and are looking for you, but I do know they are looking at your house.

So we got to lay low for a minute until we figure out any of this shit. Figure

out why you here, why we here, why any of this is fucking going on.

What?

Were you close with your mom?

Yes.

She was my everything.

And if your mom was missing, what danger would stop you from finding her? Or

Jennifer? Or your wife?

No.

Can't help you. Joe!

This is bullshit!

Okay? Sorry.

That's a clue.

What the fuck?

What's the clue?

That whistle in the tape.

You know, Dad has a model train set in our garage, and that whistle sounds

exactly like the one his train makes.

In your garage?

Yes. At your house?

Yes.

We should go to your house.

Wow. Mom. So when I say something...

Tell me you have found the Americans and the girl.

No, Sipo.

And how many of my men have been killed?

Seven.

Well, six.

The Americans had killed six, and you killed Kofi.

So that way we get a bank shot, seven.

So you can count.

You two are standing on death's door, my friend.

One day I will give this land back to our people.

And they will praise me like I praised my father.

But this endeavor requires money and weapons.

I need that girl.

We are looking.

Okay, we have men stationed everywhere.

Increase the bounty.

One million rand for each of the poor Americans.

Two million rand for the girl.

Find them!

Let's go!

Welcome to Table Mountain.

This is one of Earth's few energy centers.

And the slaves used to come here to find refuge, solace, and power.

This majestic mountain, it represents freedom and oppression,

life and death, joy and

pain.

Enjoy it, babe.

Like sunshine and rain, thinking now God's telling you to enjoy it.

Okay? Pain, remember?

Wrong bass.

Big hit, no?

Maybe this was a mistake. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's my bad. No, I'm being a dick. I'm sorry. I do that when I'm uncomfortable.

I apologize.

Sincerely.

Okay.

I want you to close your eyes. Yeah, no, I'm not a big close your eyes kind of

guy, so I don't think so. You can trust me, Benjamin.

Says the beautiful woman who pushes him off the cliff.

Okay. All right.

Close my eyes.

Good.

Now I want you to take a deep breath.

Good.

Now I want you to breathe in all of the pain you carry every day.

Breathe.

Now I want you to hold that breath.

I want you to feel your lungs expanding, your blood pumping, and your heart

beating. You're all right.

Lift me in, Benjamin.

Allow me to see.

Lift me in, Benjamin.

Allow me to see.

You and mommy will be the bad guys and I'll be the good guy.

That was extraordinary.

Your capacity to feel is like nothing I've seen.

I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't feel anything.

You did.

No.

I didn't.

I'm sorry.

Got a little dizzy. I think I was hyperventilating, but I... It's okay.

Didn't feel anything.

Look, you are... You're a really great lady.

I have no doubt.

I just... I'm really into this whole Sangoma mumbo-jumbo that you're pushing

on me, so... Sorry.

best we get down the hill yeah i'd love it if you could take me to a place

called billy g's to the american bar kind of where all this shit started

revisit that cop shit you know investigation

yes

of course

Yo, Chimo, let me ask you a question.

Would you rather fight a lion once or three chickens every day for a year?

Idiot. I would fight the three chickens every day for a year.

Are we?

Dude, that's like 1,095 chickens.

You know how once I saw two chickens kill a zebra once? Three would just pick

you to death and then eat your bones.

So you would choose to fight a lion?

Mm-hmm. And what exactly are you going to do, boxing?

I train first.

How do you train to fight a lion? And how do you train to fight three little

chickens every day for a year, hmm?

They'll have enough time to learn your technique.

And then one day, when you're tired, hungover perhaps, that's when they

pounce. They pounce and they just pick your eyeballs out. And then you call in

the sea to defend yourself.

And that's when they deliver the final death blow.

Nice. In fact, only this morning I saw you struggling to zip up your jacket.

Yet you think you're strong and agile enough to fight a lion.

Even if I lost, I would rather go out heroically battling a lion than murdered

by three little chickens. And when they murder your dumb ass, the world will

know you as Chima the Chicken Shit.

When the lion rips and shreds you apart in like five seconds, eats you and then

shits you out, the world will know you as Edward the Lion Shit.

Just give me a minute.

Wait.

Stop it.

That's my first car.

I think they deny I'm Buick Riviera.

So me touching Leon, we worked on it every day

for a whole summer, getting it right.

First time I thought Angela was in this car.

It's a good car.

Love that car.

What the fuck is that at the bottom of it?

It's a peach.

A peach?

Oh, I think I know what this is.

There's this bar that's called Ajay's Cove.

Nasty, nasty place. Actually, yeah.

They have this alcohol.

It's called Mampur.

Mampur.

Peach moonshine. Peach moonshine, right.

And I've tried it once, and I thought I was going to die. I vomited for two days

straight. Oh, God. Yeah, it turned me upside down.

That's a place Teddy hung out, huh?

I mean, if he did, you didn't tell me about that.

Also, it is the kind of place that you don't really tell people you frequent.

It's dangerous.

Shooting, stabbing, so, yeah.

Wonderful.

And if I'm correct, I think this is how you get in.

You hand this in at the door.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Pete, huh?

Noted.

I think we should get out of here. We've been here long enough.

Joe, quick, please.

I just quickly want to go in and check Pete. We got to go the outside and we

got to get past them.

Fine, fuck it. We got to go quick. Quick, come, come.

It's gone back.

I need another favor. I'm going to send you some photographs.

So please scan them for me and see if any of them recently entered Cape Town.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's very kind of you to say that.

Well, I miss him a lot, really. I miss him every single day.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Damn.

What? I got a swimming pool? I never had a swimming pool.

No, don't.

Alani, don't.

Mama?

Mama?

do this to her.

She doesn't deserve this. Why would anyone do this to her?

Imani, we have to go now. No, I'm not leaving her.

I'm not leaving her.

Listen to me. I promise you I will take care of your mother. I will bury her

myself.

But we have to go now. I have to keep you safe and we have to go now.

No.

Leon, we've been out here for an hour.

Not a single person has come in or out of that clubhouse.

And my tile tracker says that our luggage and passports are in there.

Something's not right.

You don't feel it?

No.

Sorry, maybe it is weird that the same guy who shot at us stole our shit just

to bring it to a rugby field.

Maybe he sold it.

To a rugby player?

They don't wear clothes?

Our clothes?

Have you actually seen a rugby match?

No. Those guys are beasts.

It's like football minus the helmet pads in regard for human life.

Oh, you scared.

Yes. I'm definitely afraid.

I already got my ass kicked by a middle-aged plumber. You think I can

take an entire rugby team?

Not to mention my Achilles.

All right, then. New plan.

Why don't we just take our law-breaking answers and your broken-ass Achilles, we

go over to the consulate, tell them that we lost our passports in the fucking

shootout.

See how that plays.

Shit.

Fine. But tell me we're going home to Pittsburgh after we get our passports

back.

We can go home.

All right, then.

You alright? Yeah, I'm good. Okay.

Miss China is stunning.

Yes, thank you. I won it at auction. It's the only one of its kind.

Commissioned by Winnie Mandela herself.

You, come.

Please hold this for me.

No, no.

If I wanted that, I would have put the cup on its saucer.

I want you to hold the bottom in order to retain the heat.

We gave you 700 kilos of our heroin on your word that we would have 35 million

US dollars after our transaction.

We had some issues that delayed payment.

But I assure you, your money will be with you by the end of the week.

Of course.

But with an additional 10% for our kindness and our patience.

5%.

Do you have any idea what it must have taken for a woman to represent the

various factions of the Afghan Poppy Collective?

What I must have endured versus what I could provide?

You will pay an additional 15% for your tardiness.

In four days, when the shadow has passed beyond our line, you will have paid up

$40,250,000.

Do you understand?

You are very amusing.

I admire your strength. You remind me of my mother.

But tell me, what's to stop me from killing you right now?

I kill you, I kill your friends and your family.

That way I keep my money and your heroin.

The Russians, the Americans, and then the entire world. And still you have

not learned a thing about our people.

Say you understand.

I understand.

This way.

Shoot it off.

It's too loud.

Saw this on an episode of Heist.

It's the only time you can trust David Morris' character.

Thread the fabric through the hole and pull.

Well, damn.

Hey, what are you doing to my lock gun?

Why don't you take the gun?

When I felt like it. Focus.

Where's our luggage?

It's gone. I threw it away.

What? Our passports were in there.

Where's the watch?

What watch? Yeah, what watch?

Where's the watch?

There.

Yo, Diallo.

What the fuck is going on here? Hey.

We had just taken what was stolen from us. She's got the watch in her face.

I see.

Then why don't you just put the fucking watch back in the locker and kindly fuck

off?

Any one of y'all make another fucking move, and I'm gonna make sure you all

touch down.

That's football, not rugby, baby.

Fuck if I know.

You're not going anywhere with that fucking watch, bitch.

Ah! Fuck!

Get me out of here, baby. You fucking shot me!

That's right. Stay back. Any one of y'all move, you die. All right?

Fucking chase her, man.

Run.

Come dance with me. Come dance with me.

I was just trying to make sure that you're okay. You shouldn't be in here.

Get out of here.

Benjamin,

it's okay.

Death is a part of my calling, all right?

If there are any trapped spirits in here, I can help them.

Please. Would it make a difference if I told you I'm not asking you out? No.

What is this now?

Did they follow us here?

Shit. Okay. Okay. Okay, look. I can deal with this, but you need to get out of

here right now.

No, but I'm not leaving without you.

What are you talking about? You're not leaving without me. We just met. You

know that, right?

What is going on with you? Who do you think I am?

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Please. Thank you.

Shit, wait.

Will you take these from me, please?

Fill us, please.

I need you to be safe.

Get out of here.

I got burgers and fries.

At least, I think that's what it is. I mean, who knows?

Kathy, why did you have a $70,000 watch hidden in our luggage?

Because $70,000 in cash would have never made it to customs?

I meant, why did you have it at all?

Where did you get this?

I bought it.

How? Because I gave all the money we had to fix them.

To help stitch you up the night you got shot.

Well, not all the money.

I took the money from the Lambo and I sold the kilo of heroin.

You sold the heroin without me.

Even after you got shot.

After you almost died in my arms.

I hid the money from the Lambo in the hardware store basement. How the hell

did you find it?

That's what I do. That was our emergency fund, Kathy.

And you don't think we're in an emergency right now?

What if Teddy really is dead and our 700 kilos of heroin are gone forever?

What the fuck? What are we going to do then?

I can take that watch and sell it in whatever city we're in, and we can make

moves from there. Make moves?

Make moves?

No.

No, we said we were going back home so we could start over.

I can't start over.

Yes, yes, you can.

You're right, baby.

Yes.

I can't.

But I don't want to.

The murders in Hout Bay yesterday evening.

The Americans are considered armed and dangerous.

And anyone with details regarding their whereabouts are asked to call the Hout

Bay Police Department immediately.

Cat.

Cat!

Kathy!

We got a problem.

Leon, hold him.

Baby!

Leon!

Leon, baby, come on, get up, baby, baby!

Please!

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