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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:28,960 Hey 2 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:41,920 I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm trying to understand. Trying to give 3 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:46,600 what I experienced to someone and I don't know to whom. But I don't want to stay with what I experienced. No 4 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:58,360 I know what to do with what I experienced. I have fear of this deep disorganization. 5 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:03,920 I don't trust what happened to me. Something happened to me, 6 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,800 because I don't know how to live, I lived another one. 7 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:17,200 I prefer to call this disorganization, because I don't want to confirm what I experienced. 8 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:24,000 In confirmation of me, I I would lose the world as I had it 9 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,120 and I know I don't have the capacity for another. 10 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:39,800 Yesterday morning, when I left room for the maid's room, 11 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:49,880 nothing made me suppose that I was one step away of discovering an empire, one step away from me. 12 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,720 My most primal fight for the most primal life, 13 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:06,760 would open up with peace of mind devourer of desert animals. 14 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:13,840 That morning, before entering the room, 15 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,200 What was I? 16 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:31,440 14th festival of January 17 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:43,600 how difficult it is to know what I was like. 18 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,360 The day before, the maid had said goodbye. 19 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:13,040 I got up at the end of the breakfast table. this woman. 20 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,200 Not having any maid that day would give me the kind of activity that 21 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:27,800 I wanted. The tidying up. I always liked tidy up. Tidying is finding the best way. 22 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:36,280 Ordering things, I create and I understand at the same time. 23 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:42,760 If I didn't belong for money and culture to class to which I belong, and would normally have had the 24 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:53,120 housekeeping job in a large house of rich people, where there is a lot to fix. 25 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,240 I treat myself the way people treat me. 26 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:08,080 I am what others see from me. 27 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:13,760 They refer to me as someone who makes sculptures that wouldn't be bad if there had been less 28 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:22,800 amateurism. For a woman, this reputation is socially very important and placed me in an area that 29 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:36,120 socially it is between woman and man. that It made me much freer to be a woman. 30 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:41,720 All this gave me the slight pre-climax tone. 31 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,800 I didn't need the climax or the revolution or more 32 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:53,480 than pre-love, which is so much happier than love. 33 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,120 A promise was enough for me. 34 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,240 One promise was enough for me. 35 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:19,160 My last, peaceful love connection he had dissolved amicably with a caress. 36 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:26,200 I'm slightly gaining the taste again tasteless and happy of freedom. 37 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:37,320 This places me, hieroglyphic fragment of an empire dead or alive. 38 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:44,400 Only my portraits photograph an abyss. 39 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:49,480 An abyss. Maybe it was this tone of pre-climax that I saw in 40 00:08:49,480 --> 00:09:01,480 haunted photography. An abyss you're welcome. Just this big, empty thing. 41 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:14,120 All portraits of people They are a portrait of Mona Lisa. 42 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:19,520 The pre-climax was perhaps even now my existence. 43 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:26,520 As for my so-called intimate life, perhaps it was also sculpture that gave him 44 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:31,360 a slight tone of pre-climax by have gone through the experience 45 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:43,880 to patiently wear away the matter until you find your immanent sculpture. 46 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:49,760 The rest, oh, now I know. The rest was the way little by little I had become 47 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:58,840 transformed into the person who bears my name. It is enough to see my valizes, initials, 48 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:06,240 come-me 49 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:13,880 where would I start? and also so that then in the seventh hour as on the seventh day, 50 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:25,760 be free to rest and have a rest calm day. Calm almost without joy. 51 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:31,880 The week before, I had too much fun and now I wanted that day exactly as 52 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:39,840 he promised himself. Maybe I would start by tidying up at the end of the apartment. The maid's room 53 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:45,440 he must have been filthy in his dual role as sleeping quarters and deposit of rags, old suitcases, 54 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:51,360 useless wrapping paper and string. I would leave it clean and ready for the new 55 00:10:51,360 --> 00:11:01,160 employee. Then I would read the newspaper lying down on the couch and probably falling asleep. 56 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:13,880 Lost in the scorching hell of a canon, a woman desperately fights for her life. 57 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:19,840 Yesterday, however, I lost during hours and hours of my human assembly. 58 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:33,320 But now, now I know a secret. I knew what I couldn't understand. My 59 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,960 mouth was sealed and all I was left with were incomprehensible fragments of a ritual. 60 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:47,280 Life and death were mine and I was monstrous. 61 00:11:47,280 --> 00:12:01,200 My courage was that of a sleepwalker who simply goes. 62 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,440 Eu 63 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,560 vi. 64 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:48,200 I know I saw it because I didn't. And what I saw my sense. I know I saw it because I don't understand it. 65 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,120 I know I saw it because what I saw is useless. 66 00:12:53,720 --> 00:13:01,080 Listen, what I saw shatters my daily life. 67 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:09,000 Listening, 68 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:17,280 Sorry I gave you this. I well I wish I had seen something better. 69 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,800 Take what I saw. Deliver me from my useless vision and of my useless sin. 70 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:27,400 I'm so scared that I can only accept that I got lost if I imagine that 71 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:35,960 someone is giving me a hand. Give a hand to someone was what I expected from joy. 72 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:40,880 Often, before falling asleep, 73 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:47,960 in this little fight not to lose the consciousness and enter the greater world, 74 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:56,240 I pretend that someone is giving me a hand and then I go I go to the enormous absence 75 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:03,920 so that I sleep. And when Even so, I don't have the courage, 76 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:12,200 dream. 77 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,920 For now, I need to hold this one of yours hand, even if you can't invent your own 78 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:23,840 face and your eyes and your mouth. Although severed, this hand doesn't scare me. 79 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,960 Her invention comes from such an idea of ​​love, 80 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:36,240 as if the hand were actually linked to a body that I cannot see. 81 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:45,040 It's because of an inability to love more. 82 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:51,560 I'm not up to imagining a person whole, because I'm not a whole person. 83 00:14:53,240 --> 00:15:00,800 And how can I imagine a face if I don't know what facial expression do I need? 84 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:10,120 As soon as I can spare this hand of yours hot, I will go alone and with horror. THE 85 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:21,680 horror will be my responsibility until the metamorphosis is complete. 86 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:26,280 Although I know the horror, 87 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:34,920 I am the horror in the face of things. I 88 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:39,960 It was a beautiful replica itself. And here is a woman who does not give work, 89 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:46,920 who smiles and laughs. A woman who doesn't laugh at a man. 90 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:57,120 And gently I eat my pleasure. I'm bored feeds and eats me the sweet boredom of a honeymoon. 91 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:07,400 This is who I am, I still won't have it all the appearance of someone who failed and only me 92 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,960 I will know if it was the necessary failure. Just I will know if it was the necessary failure. 93 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:52,080 Oh. 94 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:27,119 Да. Give me your unknown hand, 95 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:36,760 that life is hurting me too much and I don't know how to say it. 96 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:47,600 What probably I asked and finally got it. He came, 97 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:59,640 Yet leave me needy like a child who walks the earth alone. 98 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:06,160 So needy that only the love of all universe for me could console me. 99 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:16,960 For a great one, I tasted life-giving death, 100 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:26,000 the fine death that made me handle the forbidden fabric of life. 101 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:32,520 It is prohibited to say the name of the life and I almost said it. 102 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,000 It was love that I saw. 103 00:18:44,240 --> 00:19:00,440 Will it take courage for what I'm going to do? to say 104 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:05,720 and risk the huge surprise that I will feel the poverty of what was said. 105 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:16,360 As soon as I say it, I will have to add it. It's not that. It's not that. 106 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:25,040 I put off talking to myself out of fear 107 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:32,280 and because I don't have a word to say say. I don't have a word to say. 108 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:37,000 Why don't I shut up? Then, 109 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:45,760 Why don't you shut me up? Then, 110 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:54,200 I will create what happened to me alone because living is not relatable. 111 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,720 Living is not livable. 112 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:09,960 I will have to create about life and without lying. Creating yes, lying no. 113 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:38,160 Creating is not imagination, it is running great risk of having reality. 114 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:46,560 How shall I say now? which had already begun see what would only be evident later. 115 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:56,440 I was already starting to see it and I didn't know. I saw it since I was born and I didn't know. 116 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,720 I did not know. 117 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:06,600 3000 years ago I lost my mind and what What remained were fragments of me, 118 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:21,240 telegraph signals, the world bristles of antennas and me capturing the signal. 119 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:14,460 Margarine 120 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:34,320 Surrendering to what I don't understand will mean putting me on the edge of nowhere and just going. And how 121 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:42,160 a blind woman lost in a field, this supernatural thing that is living. 122 00:22:53,200 --> 00:23:11,960 to 123 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:35,440 Eu 124 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:44,280 morality was the desire to understand and how I didn't I understood, I fixed things. It was just yesterday and now 125 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:51,880 that I discovered that I had always been deeply moral. I only admitted the purpose for my deep 126 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:58,920 previous morality, I have discovered that I am as rawly alive as that raw light that yesterday 127 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:09,800 I learned for that morality of mine, the glory The horror of being alive is hard. I used to live 128 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:16,040 of a humanized world, but the purely living destroyed the morality I had. 129 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:23,920 It's just that a whole world is alive It has the strength of hell. 130 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:53,900 Amen. 131 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:30,600 African queen, 132 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:41,760 foreign enemy. 133 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:47,960 What was her name? 134 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,160 What was her name? 135 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,320 It is clear, 136 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:12,360 Janai. 137 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:26,880 It wasn't surprising that I had it used as if she had no presence. 138 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:38,080 And his clothes were always brown or in black, which made her invisible. 139 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,400 What happened to me? 140 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,400 I will never know how to understand, but there must be someone 141 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:58,960 understand. And it's in me that I have to create that someone who will understand. 142 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:20,600 Even inside the room, I continued somehow on the outside. Already. 143 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:50,600 Hey 144 00:31:50,600 --> 00:32:00,640 Ah. 145 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:42,560 Nothing. It was nothing. 146 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:51,679 No, it was nothing. 147 00:34:51,679 --> 00:35:02,000 Ah! 148 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:12,200 Ah. 149 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:22,280 Ah. 150 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:50,720 So before I understand, my heart turned white like hair turns white. 151 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,560 Grit, 152 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,160 grit. 153 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:17,960 A 154 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:32,960 Ah. 155 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:42,160 He was 156 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:48,240 attentive. I was all attentive. 157 00:37:48,240 --> 00:38:03,280 is that in this attentive waiting I recognized all my previous waits. 158 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:14,240 I recognized the attention that also before had lived. The attention that never leaves me. 159 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:28,200 the attention that may be thing that is most attached to my life. 160 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:38,560 Who knows, that attention was my own life. 161 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:49,320 I hadn't fought in 15 centuries. That's the madness. I hadn't killed in 15 centuries. 162 00:39:50,120 --> 00:40:02,040 I hadn't died in 15 centuries. Already. 163 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:36,280 What had I done? What had I done with myself? 164 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:49,120 I had killed, I had killed one more blow. 165 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:55,000 One more blow. 166 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:36,440 That was it. That was it. So I fall centuries and centuries in mud. It was a mud 167 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:50,880 where the trees moved with unbearable slowness roots of my identity. This is crazy. 168 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:57,080 The cockroach doesn't have a nose. One 169 00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:01,640 mulatta to death, 170 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:06,360 bridal eyes, 171 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:16,120 the eye is fringed, dark, alive, dustless. 172 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:21,160 Another same eye. 173 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:39,160 Two cockroaches embedded in the cockroach. 174 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:46,600 Each eye reproduced the entire cockroach. Forgive me for giving this hand that I hold, 175 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:58,080 But I don't want that for myself. Take that cockroach. I don't want what I saw. 176 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,360 Take what I saw. 177 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:13,200 is that what I saw with embarrassment so painful, so amazed and so innocent. 178 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:28,720 What I saw looking at me. 179 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:39,360 What I saw life looking at me. 180 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:46,520 Father, if I had the courage to abandon, if I I had the courage to abandon my feelings, 181 00:43:46,520 --> 00:44:01,000 If I had the courage to abandon hope, hope of what? 182 00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:13,240 The unknown room, 183 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:17,480 hell laboratory. 184 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:22,400 I was in the desert like I had never been before. 185 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,760 Hold my hand 186 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:36,000 because I feel like I'm going. 187 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:41,200 Don't let me see 188 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:45,960 because I'm close to seeing a nucleus of life. 189 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:53,440 The cockroach is pure seduction. 190 00:44:53,440 --> 00:45:01,920 Eyelashes, blinking eyelashes that call. 191 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:15,000 Life, my love, is a great seduction, where everything is seduced. 192 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:20,360 I had arrived at nothing 193 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:25,040 and nothingness was alive and damp. 194 00:45:51,800 --> 00:46:02,080 It's that hand that supports me. is that I experience I never want again, 195 00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:06,480 in an experience through which I ask myself for forgiveness, 196 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:45,840 I was leaving my world and entering the world. It's just that I wasn't seeing myself anymore. was coming. 197 00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,960 Because you see, 198 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:40,880 I knew I was getting into raw, raw glory of nature. 199 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:52,440 seduced. 200 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:59,680 I, however, fought as best I could against the quicksand that sucked me in. 201 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:09,560 And every move I made to no no 202 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:17,280 each movement pushed me further beyond measure. 203 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:25,600 Not having the strength to fight was my only forgiveness. 204 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:29,280 And the first true silence began to blow. 205 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:44,680 But now he knew he had fought, that he had succumbed and that he had given in. 206 00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:51,520 I'm the cockroach. 207 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:57,600 I am my leg. I am my hair. 208 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:17,680 I am the whitest patch of light on the plaster from the wall. I am every hellish piece of me. 209 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:33,200 The world looks at me, 210 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:39,680 everything looks everything. 211 00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:44,200 Everything lives the other. 212 00:49:53,840 --> 00:50:02,240 Things know things. The things know so much things. 213 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:09,600 I will call this forgiveness. 214 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:15,320 This is forgiveness. 215 00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:22,280 Forgiveness is an attribute of living matter. 216 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:26,680 For now, the metamorphosis of me, It doesn't make any sense to me. 217 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:32,320 It's a metamorphosis in which I lose everything I had. And what I had was me. I only have 218 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:49,120 what I am. And now what am I? I am to be standing in fright. I am what I saw. 219 00:50:54,920 --> 00:51:03,280 I don't understand and I'm afraid to understand. 220 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:13,760 But why me? But why not me? Se Had it not been me, I wouldn't have known. 221 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:27,000 And having been me, I am just that. What had called me madness or reality. 222 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:37,160 GH was a woman who lived well. He lived well. lived well. lived in the super layer of the world's sands. G.H. 223 00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:51,200 lived on the top floor of a super structure that, even built in the air, it was a solid building, 224 00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:59,160 herself in the air. And this was had been happening for centuries. 225 00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:06,760 How bees descend to life in the air. And it worked. It worked. Nobody said 226 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:20,320 that wasn't right. But why Is it possible to restore the silence in me? 227 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:35,160 As if a woman had been called and without a word, abandoning his life, 228 00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:46,920 denying embroidery, love and already made soul. It is that the previous life had claimed her and she was gone. 229 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,880 Every case of madness is that something came back. 230 00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:59,480 Processes are not owned for what comes, but for what comes back. 231 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:07,920 Sometimes life comes back and then, like After a deluge, a cupboard emerged, 232 00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:21,160 one person, one loose window, three suitcases. And that seemed like hell to me. 233 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:31,240 Seen up close, the cockroach is an object of great luxury, a bride with black jewels. 234 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:42,640 It's all rare, it looks like a single copy. I I felt filthy as the Bible speaks of the filthy. Put 235 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:50,720 Why did the Bible care so much about the filthy? and made a list of forbidden and unclean animals? 236 00:53:50,720 --> 00:53:58,360 Why? If like the others they had also been created? And why was the unclean thing forbidden? 237 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:10,840 I had done the forbidden act of touching what is unclean. I had done the forbidden act of touching what is unclean. 238 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:20,360 They say everything. The Bible says it all. But if I understand what they say, 239 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:24,920 they themselves will call me crazy. 240 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:34,560 But you shall not eat of the unclean, which are the eagle, the griffin and the merlin, 241 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:46,120 and neither the owl, nor the swan, nor the bat, nor the stork and all the ravens. 242 00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:52,760 And the law says that whoever eats unclean, who eats it without knowing. 243 00:54:56,720 --> 00:55:02,080 For whoever eats what is unclean, knowing that is unclean, he will also know that the unclean 244 00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:17,000 It's not filthy. And everything that goes down and has wings, he will be unclean and will not be eaten. 245 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:31,080 Help! Help! Get filthy of what? become filthy with joy. 246 00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:36,920 My love, 247 00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:44,360 see how I'm already losing courage to find what you need to find. 248 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,720 See how I'm already losing the courage to give myself to 249 00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:59,400 path. And I'm already promising us that In this hell I will find hope. 250 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:11,800 Help! Help! Help! Why? I don't had nothing to ask for. I wasn't against 251 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:23,880 to ask for help. I had arrested The filth of the world stands before me. 252 00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,840 Santa Maria, 253 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:34,040 I offer you my life in exchange for not being true this moment right now. Have experienced 254 00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:41,360 It was already the beginning of a hell of wanting. Santa Maria, do you want? To want. I offer. Use my life 255 00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:46,200 in exchange for this moment of now. My desire to want was more 256 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:52,360 stronger than my will to salvation and disenchanted the living thing. Santa Maria, 257 00:56:52,360 --> 00:57:04,600 I lose my ideas, I offer you my life in exchange for this moment not being true now. 258 00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:55,440 I remembered you when I kissed your face of man slowly and that the salt of tears 259 00:57:55,440 --> 00:58:04,560 In your eyes was my love for you. To my kiss, your most profoundly insipid life 260 00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:19,640 was given to me. And kissing your face was ice and busy work, patient in love. 261 00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:27,520 It was a woman weaving a man, just as you had woven me. 262 00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,840 Neutral craftsmanship of life. 263 00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:46,880 The country was at 11 o'clock in the morning, superficially like a backyard that is 264 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:57,800 green of the most delicate superficiality. Green, green, green is a backyard. 265 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:06,680 Between me and the green, the river water. 266 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:14,480 Nothing is heard. In the rest of the house the shade It's all swollen. It's 11 o'clock in the morning 267 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:23,720 in Brazil. And now. This is exactly about now. 268 00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:50,800 Amen. 269 00:59:52,440 --> 01:00:01,440 Song of thanksgiving for the murder of one being for another being. Amen. Murder more 270 01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:13,960 deep. That which is a mode of relationship, which is a way for one being to exist for another being. 271 01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:19,920 A way of seeing each other, of to be ourselves, to have ourselves. 272 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:26,840 Murder where there is no victim or something, 273 01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:41,720 but a bond of mutual ferocity. My primary struggle for life. 274 01:00:52,600 --> 01:01:00,720 Lost in hell, scorching a canon, a woman desperately fights for her life. 275 01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:08,240 But hell has already taken me, my love. I was already selling my human soul, 276 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:14,960 because seeing it start to consume me in pleasure. I sold my future, 277 01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:26,200 I sold my salvation. I sold us. Pray for me, my mother. Pray for me. 278 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:51,920 Do you feel, 279 01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,840 Don't you feel like it's something that needs to be known? 280 01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:44,360 Goodbye. Beauty of the world. God. Beauty of the world. 281 01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:52,360 Blessed is the fruit of your womb. Blessed is the fruit of your womb. 282 01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:11,120 The scandal is still necessary, but woe to that by whom the scandal comes. Era in the New Testament 283 01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:20,480 which was said: "Freedom is a secret. Although I know that freedom does not solve my guilt, 284 01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:31,320 my tiny divine part is greater than my human guilt. So, I prefer God to my guilt. 285 01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:36,280 I want God in what comes out of the cockroach's belly. 286 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:49,560 Even if this, in my old human terms mean the worst. And in human terms, 287 01:03:49,560 --> 01:04:09,120 the infernal. I wanted, I wanted 288 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:15,600 your eyes would be salty 289 01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:26,520 if I touched them with my mouth? I can't. I would feel them salty. 290 01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:41,680 Mom, I don't want to feel it directly on my mouth so delicate the salt of the cockroach's eyes. 291 01:04:48,240 --> 01:05:02,280 I can't do anything for you, cheap. I don't want to do anything for you. 292 01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,840 If the phone rang, I would have to answer it 293 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:29,840 and would still be saved. I would run away from room to meet and never again, 294 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:41,280 I would never go back. I 295 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:50,440 recognized the cockroach's vigil, 296 01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:54,360 both neutral and fertile ovaries. 297 01:05:56,080 --> 01:06:06,840 In them I recognized my two anonymous ovaries neutrals and I didn't want them. Oh, how I didn't want to. 298 01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:16,800 I had hung up the phone, but maybe they could ring the door bell and I would be free. 299 01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:21,280 The blouse, the blouse that I had bought, 300 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:36,040 they had said they would send her and then they would ring the bell, the blouse. 301 01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:41,760 No, they wouldn't play. 302 01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:44,720 I would be forced to continue to recognize. 303 01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:58,680 and recognized in the cockroach the sense of time I was pregnant. 304 01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:23,080 Doctor, I remembered myself walking on the streets upon learning that she would have an abortion. 305 01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:27,040 When I walked, I carried it. 306 01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:42,400 through the streets, I felt the son inside me which still didn't move. I already knew 307 01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:50,800 myself the bright gaze of a cockroach that was taken by the waist. 308 01:07:54,080 --> 01:08:02,320 And living, doctor, was the opposite side of a crime. 309 01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:12,280 Pregnancy. I was thrown into the merry horror of the life that lives and moves. 310 01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:19,760 I told you, sir, what else What bothers me, doctor, is that I'm breathing badly. 311 01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:43,840 Ea. 312 01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:47,800 I swear, I swear, I will do anything you want, but Don't leave me trapped in the cockroach's room, 313 01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:59,920 because something huge is going to happen to me. No I want the other species, I just want the people. 314 01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:07,840 How I hate the sunlight that reveals everything, reveals even the possible. 315 01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:22,479 But no one touches your eyes, filthy. Only another cockroach would want this cockroach. 316 01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:29,760 But what about me? Who would want me today? 317 01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:36,240 Who has ever been as dumb as me? Who as I was calling fear love and 318 01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:45,479 wanting love and needing love? Who like me I knew I had never changed shape since the 319 01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:56,080 time when they had drawn me on the stone of a cave and next to a man and a dog? 320 01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:04,800 It feels bad to hold my hand. It's bad to stay without air in this collapsed mine where I 321 01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:11,800 brought you without mercy for you, but out of pity for me. But I swear that 322 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:17,760 I will get you out of here alive. Not even me lie, even if I lie what my eyes 323 01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:28,680 saw. I will save you from this terror where, for now, I need you. 324 01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:39,280 You innocently gave me your hand and because I I assured him that I had the courage to sink. 325 01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:46,760 How to compensate you? 326 01:10:46,760 --> 01:11:00,920 At least use me as a tunnel. dark. 327 01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:06,040 And when you cross my darkness, 328 01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:12,080 you will find yourself on the other side with you. 329 01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:36,560 You won't meet me, perhaps. I don't know if I'll cross, but with you. 330 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:43,560 If the person is not committed to hope, lives the demonic. Leave it now 331 01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:50,240 I tell you the scariest. I was being taken by the demonic, 332 01:11:50,240 --> 01:12:04,520 for the inexpressive is diabolical. The same in cheap, the same in the stars, the same in itself. 333 01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:11,040 The demonic is before the human. If the person have the courage to let go of your feelings, 334 01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:19,320 discover the broad life of a extremely busy silence. 335 01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:28,240 The divine pre-human life is current that burns. And if a person sees this current situation, he 336 01:12:28,240 --> 01:12:38,280 burns as if seeing the God. The God. The God. I will tell you. I was afraid of blind joy and 337 01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:48,240 already fierce that it began to take over me and lose me. The joy of getting lost is a Sabbath joy. 338 01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:56,640 get lost when you think you are dangerous. I was experiencing in that desert the fire of 339 01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:05,640 things and it was hell, because in that world where I lived there was no mercy or 340 01:13:05,640 --> 01:13:14,000 hope. Now I know what happens in the dark from the mountains on orgy nights. I know. I know 341 01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:28,560 with horror. We enjoy things, we enjoy things that things get done. This is the raw joy of 342 01:13:28,560 --> 01:13:42,400 black magic. I felt the joy of hell. And the hell is not the torture of pain, it is the torture of a 343 01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:53,040 happiness. Neutral is inexplicable and alive. Search understand me. Just like protoplasm and seed 344 01:13:53,040 --> 01:14:03,080 and the protein are of a living neutral. And I was all new, like someone who has just started. It was as if 345 01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:12,880 Before I had an addicted taste for salt and sugar and with my soul addicted to 346 01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:20,880 joys and pains and had never tasted first. And now I tasted nothing. 347 01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:30,960 And the taste was new, like mother's milk, which It only tastes like a child's mouth. I passed 348 01:14:30,960 --> 01:14:37,680 orgiacally feeling the taste of identity of things. It's very difficult to feel. 349 01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:35,840 Sleep with me awake and only like that you will be able to know about my great sleep. 350 01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:44,240 and you will know what the living desert is. 351 01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:52,640 But I'm going to take a risk because I trust in my future cowardice 352 01:15:52,640 --> 01:16:01,120 and it will be my essential cowardice that will rearrange me again in person 353 01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:03,600 in this new cowardice of mine. 354 01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:15,920 Cowardice is the youngest thing I've ever seen happened. It's my biggest adventure. 355 01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:20,840 It's like waking up in the morning in a foreigner's house. 356 01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:28,440 I don't know if I'll have the courage to just go. 357 01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:42,360 with red ones and red ones there is nothing. 358 01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:47,920 It must have been after noon that day. room excavated in the rock of a building, 359 01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:51,600 from the window of my minaret, I was looking for spaciousness. 360 01:17:26,440 --> 01:17:37,960 Yeah, this is a very nice guy. 361 01:18:07,840 --> 01:18:17,960 Ah. 362 01:18:40,120 --> 01:18:47,280 From the top of this building, the present contemplates the present. 363 01:18:47,280 --> 01:18:56,600 And I had grown up and become so simple like a queen. I was maybe the first 364 01:18:56,600 --> 01:19:07,240 person stepping into that castle in the air. This is the city where I live, everything extinct, 365 01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:13,760 because I was looking for the treasure from my city, Rio de Janeiro, 366 01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:25,200 whose inhabitants in the sun were 600,000 beggars. 367 01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:37,880 The city's treasure could be in a of the gravel breccias, but which one? 368 01:19:37,880 --> 01:19:43,920 That city needed of cartography work. 369 01:19:50,880 --> 01:20:01,520 And don't forget, as I begin the work of prepare to make mistakes, don't forget that the error 370 01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:09,200 had often become my path. All the times when what I didn't work out 371 01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:16,920 thought or felt, it was that one finally made a loophole. And if I had had the courage before, 372 01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:26,480 I would have already entered through it. But I He had always been afraid of delirium and error. 373 01:20:29,320 --> 01:20:37,720 Oh, I want to go back to my home 374 01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:43,480 and later you would be able to understand me. 375 01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:47,560 I don't know. 376 01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:52,840 If only I had entered the room at dusk, tonight I would see the 377 01:20:52,840 --> 01:21:08,520 full moon rises over the desert, for the wet moon made me miss my life. 378 01:21:17,960 --> 01:21:22,800 Disgust is necessary for me. 379 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:28,560 Disgust guides me and fertilizes me. 380 01:21:28,560 --> 01:21:33,440 A long time ago I was drawn with you in a cave and with you I swam from its 381 01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:39,160 dark depths to this day. I swear that That's how love is. But for us it will 382 01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:48,600 it must be at night. I know that everything We had love until today. 383 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:56,680 The night is so humid that plants grow. We are moist and salty beings. In homes 384 01:21:56,680 --> 01:22:03,160 the lights go out so the locusts walk on the leaves almost without touching them. 385 01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:10,800 The leaves, the leaves, the leaves. 386 01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:23,640 Guess me, guess me, why is it cold? 387 01:22:45,480 --> 01:22:52,120 But are you afraid? I know that always you were afraid of the ritual. 388 01:22:57,040 --> 01:23:03,640 If you can know through me, without first needing to be tortured, 389 01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:12,880 without first having to be split through a wardrobe door, 390 01:23:12,880 --> 01:23:15,960 without first breaking the your shells of fear. 391 01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:35,960 But when you were tortured until you reached be a core, then it goes demonically 392 01:23:35,960 --> 01:23:45,000 to want to serve the ritual, even if the ritual is the act of self-consumption, 393 01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:59,320 the way of living is a secret so secret that it is the silent creep of a secret. 394 01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:04,680 Oh, my love, things are very delicate and we step on them with 395 01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:09,280 a paw that is too human, with too many feelings. 396 01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:28,480 Just the delicacy of innocence or just the delicacy of the initiated is that he feels almost zero taste. 397 01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:52,840 I borrowed from you, you are the most old in my memory. 398 01:24:52,840 --> 01:24:59,400 If I could only convey the memory to you Now live from what we both already lived without knowing. 399 01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:06,000 No, I don't want to scare you my love. If you're scared of me, 400 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:13,080 I will be scared of myself. Don't have fear of pain. All things happen 401 01:25:13,080 --> 01:25:23,400 above or below the pain. Pain is not the name true of what we call pain. 402 01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:35,440 the ritual. Believe me, because I think I know. Ritual is the mark of the God. 403 01:25:35,440 --> 01:25:41,240 That was what we lived and despised. I didn't know love was happening 404 01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:57,160 much more exactly when not there was what we called love. 405 01:25:57,160 --> 01:26:07,080 What I'm talking about is that when nothing happened, If nothing happened, we called it a break. 406 01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:12,560 But what was that interval like? 407 01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:18,240 The man who was delicate with things and with time. I didn't know I learned so much 408 01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:31,880 with you. I learned to look at a person by tracing threads electrical, taking care of the positive and negative pole. 409 01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:35,360 You were the monotony of my eternal love. And me 410 01:26:35,360 --> 01:26:42,080 I did not know. I didn't know how to see That was delicate love 411 01:26:42,080 --> 01:26:47,440 and it felt like boredom to me. It was boredom. It was a search 412 01:26:47,440 --> 01:26:58,000 someone to play with. The abundance of the body that doesn't ask for it and doesn't need it. 413 01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:08,840 And I couldn't stand the slow transformation of something that slowly turns into 414 01:27:08,840 --> 01:27:21,160 even something. I had for you boredom I feel on holidays. 415 01:27:31,640 --> 01:27:36,360 My sore throat is gone, I told you. Our every word, 416 01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:45,600 every word was so light and empty like a butterfly. 417 01:27:56,320 --> 01:28:08,240 In the intervals that we called empty and calm, my vision all big and trembling, 418 01:28:08,240 --> 01:28:10,080 it was the huge flower opening. 419 01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:38,720 I will never rest again. I stole the hunting horse of the king of Sheba. Every day will be the same thing. 420 01:28:39,760 --> 01:28:42,120 I know that the first drum on the mountain will make the 421 01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:50,880 night. I know that the third one has already will have been involved in its thunderstorm. 422 01:28:50,880 --> 01:29:01,760 And by the fifth drum I'll be there unconscious in my greed. 423 01:29:01,760 --> 01:29:07,120 What did we do, those who trot in the hell of joy? 424 01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:27,360 The last time I came down from my decorated cell, I swore than ever again. The hazing, however, continues with me. 425 01:29:32,880 --> 01:29:40,760 I talk, tidy the house, smile, but I know the hazing is in me. 426 01:29:40,760 --> 01:29:51,000 I miss you like someone who dies. I can't let go anymore. 427 01:29:59,080 --> 01:30:10,680 Nobody knows, nobody sees it in my mouth and on his paws the mark of blood. 428 01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:14,280 What do we emulate? 429 01:30:16,920 --> 01:30:27,560 The happy night is my sad life. 430 01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:34,080 From that country of rats and tarantolas and cockroaches, my love, in which joy drips onto fat women 431 01:30:34,080 --> 01:30:39,520 drops of blood. Only mercy of God could take me out of the terrible 432 01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:48,520 indifferent joy in which I bathed myself. all full, for I exulted. I knew the 433 01:30:48,520 --> 01:31:03,640 violence of the joyful dark. I was happy like the devil. Hell is my ultimate. 434 01:31:03,640 --> 01:31:12,360 My God, give me what you have already done or given. AND 435 01:31:12,360 --> 01:31:19,200 It's me who can't take the step who will give me what you have already done. 436 01:31:19,200 --> 01:31:26,160 What you did is me. 437 01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:35,760 And I can't take the step to me. Me that things and you 438 01:31:35,760 --> 01:31:40,160 give me what you are in me. 439 01:31:40,160 --> 01:31:43,000 Give me what you are in others. 440 01:31:44,400 --> 01:31:55,480 You are the him. I know. I know. Because when I play I see him. 441 01:31:55,480 --> 01:31:59,000 But he, 442 01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:02,720 the man, 443 01:32:02,720 --> 01:32:07,280 take care of what you gave him. 444 01:32:07,280 --> 01:32:12,120 It is wrapped in a wrapper made especially for me to touch and see. 445 01:32:14,840 --> 01:32:21,080 And I want more than the wrapper, which I also love. 446 01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:35,680 I want what I love you. 447 01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:51,800 Deep down, we are so, so happy, because there is no a unique way of getting in touch with life. 448 01:32:51,800 --> 01:32:56,920 The secret of strength was strength. The secret of love 449 01:32:56,920 --> 01:33:04,560 it was love. And the jewel of the world it was an opaque piece of stuff. 450 01:33:27,080 --> 01:33:32,760 I miss hell. I'm not up to staying 451 01:33:32,760 --> 01:33:39,400 in paradise. that paradise has no human taste. 452 01:33:39,400 --> 01:33:48,600 But that would be destruction. It is a sin to enter divine matter. 453 01:33:48,600 --> 01:34:01,800 Staying inside the thing is crazy. 454 01:34:01,800 --> 01:34:16,160 Listen. I know that if I abandon a life all organized by hope, it hurts. 455 01:34:16,160 --> 01:34:20,120 It's like the agony of death. 456 01:34:22,480 --> 01:34:39,680 Something in death wants to break free and has at the same time afraid of letting go of the safety of my body. 457 01:34:39,680 --> 01:34:44,400 See, my love, because I have plunged into the abyss, 458 01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:57,520 I'm starting to love the abyss what I'm made of. And it's not dangerous, 459 01:34:57,520 --> 01:35:02,960 but there was a moment. No I'm talking about the future, 460 01:35:02,960 --> 01:35:10,040 I'm talking about a permanent topic. 461 01:35:10,040 --> 01:35:15,560 Hope for me was a postponement, 462 01:35:15,560 --> 01:35:21,600 but I discover that it's not even necessary to have hope. AND 463 01:35:21,600 --> 01:35:27,400 as if the future stopped coming into existence. 464 01:35:27,400 --> 01:35:31,960 Listen without fear and without suffering that hope does not exist, 465 01:35:31,960 --> 01:35:37,720 because it is no longer a postponed future. 466 01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:40,960 It's today. 467 01:35:40,960 --> 01:35:47,600 Because God doesn't promise. He is very bigger than that. He is and never stops 468 01:35:47,600 --> 01:36:00,040 to be. We are the ones who can't stand this light always current and we promise it for later. 469 01:36:03,600 --> 01:36:15,560 The present is the face of God today. 470 01:36:15,560 --> 01:36:24,560 The horror is that we know it is in life even if we see God. 471 01:36:24,560 --> 01:36:33,160 It is with our eyes open that we see God. And if I postpone the face of reality until after 472 01:36:33,160 --> 01:36:45,080 my death, it's because I prefer to be dead at the time to see him and so I think I won't really see him. 473 01:36:45,080 --> 01:36:52,600 Just as I only have the courage to Truly dream when I'm sleeping. 474 01:36:52,600 --> 01:37:00,880 I know what I'm feeling It's serious and can destroy me, 475 01:37:00,880 --> 01:37:04,080 because it's like you're giving me the news that the kingdom of heaven has already 476 01:37:04,080 --> 01:37:12,000 and. And I don't want the kingdom of heaven. I I don't want it. I can only take your promise. 477 01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:21,840 Giving up hope means I have to start living and not just promising me life. 478 01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:31,360 And this is the biggest scare I can have. I I didn't have the courage to stop being one 479 01:37:31,360 --> 01:37:39,160 promise. I would prefer to continue asking without the courage to already have it. 480 01:37:39,160 --> 01:37:48,200 And I have. I always will. I just need I have. Need never ends. Don't put yourself 481 01:37:48,200 --> 01:38:01,440 In the face of hope is not destruction of the request and is not abstaining from the grace period. 482 01:38:01,440 --> 01:38:12,680 It's increasing it. It's infinitely increasing the request that arises from lack. 483 01:38:16,040 --> 01:38:23,560 The more we need, the more God exists. The more we can, 484 01:38:23,560 --> 01:38:30,760 the more God we will have. Like blind people who they grope and we feel used 485 01:38:30,760 --> 01:38:39,400 by God. But this awakens in us the disturbing desire to also use it. 486 01:38:43,480 --> 01:38:49,960 To have it, we just need to need it. To need 487 01:38:49,960 --> 01:39:02,640 it is always the supreme moment. Without you I couldn't live. 488 01:39:17,040 --> 01:39:22,520 I don't want beautiful love, I don't want expressive love, 489 01:39:22,520 --> 01:39:31,320 I want the inexpressive, I want the inhuman within the person. 490 01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:38,600 Wanting to be human sounds too beautiful to me. I want the stuff of things. There is a 491 01:39:38,600 --> 01:39:51,760 something that is broader, duller, more deeper, less good, less bad, less beautiful. 492 01:39:55,640 --> 01:40:13,600 In the world there is no plan aesthetic. The thing is much more than this. 493 01:40:13,600 --> 01:40:26,320 God is greater than goodness with his beauty. 494 01:40:26,320 --> 01:40:33,240 Talking to me and you is being mute. Talking to God is what 495 01:40:33,240 --> 01:40:43,080 the dumber there is. Talking to things is dumb. I know this sounds sad to you and to me too. 496 01:40:46,920 --> 01:40:52,400 And that's why the muteness is hurting me like a dismissal. 497 01:40:52,400 --> 01:40:54,440 No, don't misunderstand me. 498 01:40:54,440 --> 01:41:05,760 I'm not taking anything from you. It's a much greater love than I am demanding of myself. 499 01:41:05,760 --> 01:41:12,920 It's a life so much bigger that it doesn't even have beauty. One thing, I know. If I arrive 500 01:41:12,920 --> 01:41:41,720 At the end of this story, I will not go tomorrow, but Today, eat and dance at the bambino top. 501 01:41:41,720 --> 01:41:49,640 I really need it have fun and have fun. 502 01:41:49,640 --> 01:41:56,880 Yes, I will wear a new blue dress that makes me slimmer a little and it gives me colors. I will call Carlos, 503 01:41:56,880 --> 01:42:04,560 Josefina, Antonio. I don't remember well which of the two I realized wanted me 504 01:42:04,560 --> 01:42:06,160 or they both wanted me. 505 01:42:06,800 --> 01:42:17,760 I will eat revetes no matter what. And I know why I will eat revetes. Tonight, 506 01:42:17,760 --> 01:42:25,560 tonight my daily life will resume, of my common joy. I'll need it for the rest 507 01:42:25,560 --> 01:42:42,280 of my days of my slight vulgare. Sweet and good humorous. I need to forget, like everyone else. 508 01:42:42,280 --> 01:42:43,320 It's just that I didn't tell you everything. 509 01:44:27,640 --> 01:44:35,120 Ah. 510 01:45:22,480 --> 01:45:31,080 bless blessed 511 01:45:31,080 --> 01:45:39,800 blessed lord Bless blessed blessed 512 01:46:36,440 --> 01:46:39,360 H 513 01:47:09,080 --> 01:47:09,580 t 514 01:48:24,560 --> 01:48:38,560 A 515 01:48:49,120 --> 01:48:57,440 I lost something that was essential to me and which is no longer mine. I don't need it, 516 01:48:57,440 --> 01:49:03,880 just as if I had lost a third leg that until then made it impossible for me to walk, 517 01:49:03,880 --> 01:49:11,760 but it made me a stable tripod. This third leg I lost and became one again 518 01:49:11,760 --> 01:49:20,040 person I've never been. I got what I never had again I had. Just the two legs. I know that only with 519 01:49:20,040 --> 01:49:30,200 two legs is that I can walk, but the absence the useless third one I miss and scares me. 520 01:49:30,200 --> 01:49:35,760 I'm talking about death, not life. 521 01:49:38,600 --> 01:49:42,800 Because there is a trajectory. And the trajectory is not just 522 01:49:42,800 --> 01:49:51,240 a way to go. The trajectory is ourselves. 523 01:49:55,480 --> 01:50:07,280 When it comes to living, you can never arrive sooner. 524 01:50:07,280 --> 01:50:29,640 The via cruces is not a detour, it is the passage unique. It can only be reached through it and with it. 525 01:50:29,640 --> 01:50:32,160 Now I'm not taking your hand for myself. 526 01:50:32,800 --> 01:50:41,280 I'm the one holding your hand. I know to believe In all of this it will be in the beginning, your great loneliness. 527 01:50:41,280 --> 01:50:52,880 But there will come a moment when you will hold my hand, no more out of loneliness, but now like me, out of love. 528 01:50:52,880 --> 01:51:01,320 Loneliness is not needing. And don't need leave the man very alone, all alone. 529 01:51:08,080 --> 01:51:16,120 Ah, love is so much more fatal than me had thought. Love is already there, it is always there. 530 01:51:16,120 --> 01:51:20,120 All that's missing is the stroke of grace called passion. 531 01:51:52,720 --> 01:51:58,920 I'm finally walking towards the path inverse, path towards the destruction of 532 01:51:58,920 --> 01:52:08,520 that I built. Path to the loss of everything what can be lost and still be. 533 01:52:10,400 --> 01:52:15,240 little by little take away from yourself with an effort so attentive that it does not 534 01:52:15,240 --> 01:52:25,000 you feel the pain. Take it away from you like who gets rid of their own skin. 535 01:52:25,000 --> 01:52:29,800 The first step towards each other is to find in yourself the woman of all 536 01:52:29,800 --> 01:52:33,840 the women. Every woman is woman of all women. 537 01:55:02,760 --> 01:55:10,000 Eu 538 01:55:10,000 --> 01:55:16,800 I was always afraid of being struck by achievement. I had always thought that the realization 539 01:55:16,800 --> 01:55:28,840 It's an ending and it won't count on the need always rising. Necessity is my guide. 540 01:55:28,840 --> 01:55:31,680 Reality is the matter. 541 01:55:36,920 --> 01:55:42,280 Language is the way I'm going to look for it. 542 01:55:42,280 --> 01:55:46,600 And since I don't think so, 543 01:55:46,600 --> 01:55:53,640 by destiny I have to go and look for by fate I return with empty hands, 544 01:55:53,640 --> 01:56:05,880 but I come back with something indispensable. Only when the construction is that I get what she couldn't. 545 01:56:05,880 --> 01:56:14,480 Insistence is our effort. 546 01:56:14,480 --> 01:56:21,760 Withdrawal is the prize. Giving up is the most sacred choice of a life. 547 01:56:21,760 --> 01:56:36,840 I was getting closer to what I think which was trust. I trusted. 548 01:56:36,840 --> 01:56:47,440 At last, at last, mine had really been broken. casing. And without limit I was. Because it isn't, 549 01:56:47,440 --> 01:56:58,120 I was until the end of what I didn't was, I was. What is not me, I am. 550 01:56:59,080 --> 01:57:14,120 Everything will be in me if I don't go, because I am just one of the world's instantaneous spasms. 551 01:57:14,120 --> 01:57:23,000 My life doesn't just have human meaning, it's very bigger. It is so much bigger that in relation to humans it is not 552 01:57:23,000 --> 01:57:33,160 it makes sense. the general organization that was larger than me. Until then I had only noticed the fragments, 553 01:57:33,160 --> 01:57:42,280 but now I was much less than human and alone I would realize my specifically human destiny if 554 01:57:42,280 --> 01:57:53,000 give myself up, as I was giving myself up to what I already had it wasn't me, to what is already inhuman, and giving myself 555 01:57:53,000 --> 01:57:59,240 with the confidence of belonging to the unknown, for I can only pray to what I do not know. 556 01:58:00,720 --> 01:58:06,480 And I can only love the unknown evidence of things. And I can only add to what 557 01:58:06,480 --> 01:58:18,080 I don't know. Only this is a real delivery. And such delivery is the only overcoming that does not 558 01:58:18,080 --> 01:58:31,760 exclude me. I was now so much bigger that I no longer I saw myself, as big as a landscape in the distance. 559 01:58:31,760 --> 01:58:40,680 I was far away, but noticeable in my eyes. last mountains and in my most remote rivers. 560 01:58:41,520 --> 01:58:48,600 Simultaneous current affairs no longer scared me and in the last extremity of me, I could 561 01:58:48,600 --> 01:59:00,640 finally smiling without me smiling any less. Anyway, I it extended me beyond my sensitivity. 562 01:59:00,640 --> 01:59:10,360 The world was independent of me. This was the confidence that I had arrived. The world was independent of me. 563 01:59:11,640 --> 01:59:22,560 And I'm not understanding what I'm saying. Never. I will never understand what I say again. 564 01:59:22,560 --> 01:59:29,040 Because how could I say without the word lie for me? How can I 565 01:59:29,040 --> 01:59:39,680 say if not shyly like that? Life is mine. Life is mine. 566 01:59:42,760 --> 01:59:46,160 Life is gone. 567 01:59:48,280 --> 02:00:01,840 Life is mine and I don't understand what I say. And then I love it, 568 02:00:01,840 --> 02:00:09,400 I love, I love, 569 02:00:09,400 --> 02:00:13,400 I adore, 570 02:00:13,400 --> 02:00:13,900 I adore. 571 02:00:26,040 --> 02:00:35,200 yes 572 02:00:35,200 --> 02:00:43,960 It's wood, it's stone, it's the end of the road. It's the rest of I play, it's a little lonely. It's a piece of glass, it's the 573 02:00:43,960 --> 02:00:52,840 life, is the sun. It's the night, it's death. It's the bond, it's the hook, it's field peroba, it's the wood knot. Canga 574 02:00:52,840 --> 02:01:00,760 lamp. It's a so-called pear tree, it's windwood. Tom from the bank. It's a deep mystery. And the 575 02:01:00,760 --> 02:01:08,520 whether you want it or not. It's the wind blowing. It's the end from the slope. It's the beam. It's the vain. Food feast. 576 02:01:08,520 --> 02:01:15,920 It's rain raining. It's riverside talk March waters. It's the end of tiredness. It's the foot, 577 02:01:15,920 --> 02:01:23,880 it's the floor. It's the masquerade. Little bird in hand. Sling stone. It's a bird in the sky. It's a 578 02:01:23,880 --> 02:01:30,720 bird on the ground. It's a stream. It's a source. It's a piece of bread. It's rock bottom. It's the end of 579 02:01:30,720 --> 02:01:38,080 path. Disgust on his face. It is a body alone. It is a streppe, it's a nail. It's a tip. It's a tale, 580 02:01:38,080 --> 02:01:45,160 It's a ping one. It's an account, it's a tale, it's a fish, it's a gesture. It's a shining silver. It's the 581 02:01:45,160 --> 02:01:53,480 morning light, it's the brick coming. It's the firewood, it's the day is the end of the beating. It's the sugarcane bottle, 582 02:01:53,480 --> 02:01:59,960 shrapnel on the road. It's the house project. It's the body on the bed. It's the stalled car. AND 583 02:01:59,960 --> 02:02:06,560 the mud. It's the mud. It's one step. It's a bridge. It's a frog. It's a frog. It's a wizard's remains 584 02:02:06,560 --> 02:02:40,040 light. in the morning. It's the waters of March closing the summer and the promise of life in your heart. No. 585 02:02:40,040 --> 02:02:46,680 It's a snake, a stick. It's João, it's José, it's a thorn. In the hand, it's a cut on the foot. 586 02:02:46,680 --> 02:02:54,000 It's the waters of March closing the summer. And the promise of life in your heart. It's dick, 587 02:02:54,000 --> 02:03:03,040 It's stone, it's the one on the stump path alone. It is a step, it's a bridge, it's a saint, it's a frog, 588 02:03:03,040 --> 02:03:10,840 It's a beautiful horizon, it's a Tuesday fever. They are the March waters closing the summer. It's the promise 589 02:03:10,840 --> 02:03:26,280 of life in your heart. Stick, stone, wine, fire, hollow. Wine, hydro, hydra, night, steel, 590 02:03:26,280 --> 02:03:32,720 sun. It's the waters of March closing the summer. Promise of life in your heart. 591 02:03:46,520 --> 02:04:02,520 and 58237

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