Original subtitles

( upbeat piano theme playing )

All right. You're doing great.

Now, see here, we're flying at 5000 feet.

We're at level trim. Now start taking her in.

Okay? Now, you're absolutely sure you want to do this?

Oh, yes. It's always been

a dream of mine to fly a plane.

I'm-- I'm just a little nervous.

It's all right. It's all right. I will be right here.

Okay. Ready? Here we go.

Okay. She's all yours.

Okay.

All right, now ease up on the yoke,

start taking her down.

This is great.

I'm really doing it. ( chuckles )

Oh! What was that?

It's okay. It's all right.

It's a little turbulence.

Okay, now...here.

S-- Ease up on the throttle.

Just keep it level.

( buzzing )

Oh. I-I-- I'm okay. I'm okay. Heh.

( buzzing stops )

LOWELL: Uh, Joe?

How much longer do I have to do this?

Just a little while longer, Lowell.

It's Fay's birthday.

Right.

( imitating engine humming )

( upbeat theme playing )

( airplane flies overhead )

( door opens )

Hey. Good morning, guys.

Please, Helen. Shh.

HELEN: Oh, that's right.

Last night was Walter's bachelor party.

Tsk. Oh, are you guys hung over?

( all yell )

Helen, uh, five coffees, please. ( exhales )

Oh, and you might want to see

if these guys want some.

So did this bachelor party follow the usual routine?

You drink till your eyes spin,

drool over the obligatory stripper,

then go home and throw up?

Not necessarily in that order.

Uh, here's your tool belt, Lowell.

A girl named Evangeline dropped it off this morning.

Evangeline?

She's my sister.

You don't have a sister.

Oh, right. Right.

Uh, she's my sister's friend.

Lowell?

Oh, all right.

She was the stripper at Walter's bachelor party.

Must you shame it out of me?

Well, what was she doing with your tool belt?

Nothing you'd ever see on This Old House.

HELEN: Good morning, Walter.

Thanks for throwing me that party last night, guys.

All I can say is...

thanks.

Walter.

( claps once )

W-Walter.

You had as much to drink as I did last night.

How is it you have energy to burn,

and I feel like I've slept with a herd of goats?

That is a just a feeling, right?

I'm an air traffic controller, guys.

I have to be at the top of my form at all times,

so I can make those split-second decisions.

What can I get you, Walter? Just coffee.

Okay. Or do I want orange juice?

You know what? I'll have tea.

Do I want tea?

Yeah.

Tea.

You getting a little nervous about the wedding tomorrow?

No. I'm looking forward to it.

My brother's flying in from Philadelphia.

Ramona's family's on a plane from Boston.

And my parents are due in from New York any minute.

As a matter of fact, they're all set to land

at about the same--

Whoa. Hold the tea.

( plane flies low overhead )

It's weird. I'm not that close to Walter, but for some reason,

I'm really looking forward to his wedding. Why is that?

Well, maybe it's because when we see two people

about to start a new life together,

it renews our own feelings of hope and promise.

Or because there's nothing else to do

on this stinking island prison

we call Nantucket.

Well, every time I go to a wedding,

I always pray that this great-looking guy

is gonna ask me to dance.

It never happens.

So this time...

I'm bringing some insurance.

Henry Applegate.

Henry from down at Air Freight?

Yep. Heh. Okay.

BRIAN: Yeah, Helen.

Better watch yourself during the fast dances,

'cause if those pencils fly out of his pocket protector,

someone might get hurt.

I don't care. He's the best dancer on the island.

What about you guys? Are you bringing dates?

Hey, guys.

HELEN: Hey, Alex.

Give me a second, I'll let you know.

Hey, Alex.

Uh, have you thought about

going to the wedding with me?

No.

No, you haven't thought about it?

Or, no, you're not going with me?

Yes.

Yes, you have thought about it?

Or, yes, you're definitely not going with me?

Let me be perfectly clear. Under no circumstance

will I be going with you to Walter's wedding.

No way, nohow. Got it?

Listen, I'll check back with you later on, but, um,

I'm gonna need a definite decision on this.

Lowell, do you think Bunny will come back for the wedding?

Oh, I don't know, Fay.

I haven't talked to her in quite a while.

Who's Bunny? Oh, it's my ex-wife.

I don't know, you know, I guess she might show up.

I mean, she knew Walter.

Then again, she knows

damn near every able-bodied man on the island.

But I kind of hope she shows.

Were you thinking of trying to get back together?

Uh, who knows, Helen?

You know, a lot of time has passed.

Maybe she's changed.

Maybe I've changed.

( laughing )

Maybe she's changed.

( upbeat theme playing )

( chatter )

Roy.

Roy, you signed the guest book so big,

there's no room for anyone else to sign.

Makes 'em think you're important.

Then when they don't find a gift from you later,

they just figure yours is the one without the card.

Then...you--

You just assume

that there will always be one without a card?

No.

( sighs )

Oh, God, there's Bunny.

Where?

J-- She's over by the wall...

in the pastel-floral-chiffon, tea-length cocktail dress.

I only caught a glimpse.

Lowell, you came here hoping to see Bunny.

Go over and talk to her.

She's over there sitting by herself.

I don't know what to say.

Oh, you two were married for six years.

I didn't know what to say then either.

Oh. Oh. All right, Lowell, uh, see if this will help.

Uh, just for a second, pretend that I'm Bunny.

Now, whatever you want to say to her, say it to me.

Okay.

Um, Bunny?

Uh, I miss you and I love you.

And I was hoping that there was some chance

that we could get back together. Mm.

And if not, is there any chance

that we could get back together

for about an hour?

Godspeed, Lowell.

Table 3. Table thr--

Oh, God.

Who are you? Who are you?

I'm Roy Biggins.

I'm Roy Biggins.

No. I'm Roy Biggins.

No, I'm-- Stop that.

Stop that. Oh.

Oh.

Hello, everybody.

Hey, Antonio. Oh, Antonio,

you look so handsome in your new suit.

Oh, well, I figured it was about time.

I'd had my last suit since my confirmation.

Oh. Isn't that when you're 13?

Well, uh, yes. Scarpacci men reach full height at that age.

From then on, all growth is just...

hair.

Well, it looks very nice.

Oh, thank you. I-- It cost, uh...

quite a bit.

But, uh, the salesman said...

it was me.

Oh, here's Henry. Hey. Hi, Helen. Hello, Fay.

Hey, Antonio.

Nice suit.

Thanks.

I got it on sale.

Porca miseria.

Hm.

Mah. Wow.

Seen these women in here? Oh, Lord.

I love it when they hold weddings at hotels.

One-stop shopping.

You got a room?

No, I rented a key.

Oh, my God.

Al Weimper. He's here.

Weimper? Oh, it's just this guy

from down at the Whale Lodge.

I went to a meeting a few months back.

I thought it would be good for business.

Turns out it's just this bunch of dull, boring guys

that sit around all day telling dull, boring stories.

Hm. Bet they waived the initiation fee

to get you in, huh?

( sarcastic scoff )

Excuse me. Joe.

Joe Hackett. Good to see you.

( chuckles ) Al. How did you get over here?

We, uh-- We've looked for you

at our Whale meetings, Joe.

You've been missing out

on a lot of excellent fellowship.

Yeah, well, Al, I-- Say. You know how we have

our various levels of achievement?

You know, Blue Whale, Gray Whale?

Well, last night Charlie Fletcher and I

made Humpback.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Well, I, uh,

sure wish I could have been there to see that.

( upbeat theme playing )

( band playing slow jazz music )

Oh, may I have the first dance?

First, last, and all of 'em in between.

That's the plan, Stan.

Oh, wait a minute. Uh, this jacket's kind of binding.

I-- Be right back.

Hi, there.

Hi.

Hi. Hi. Do you want to dance?

Um, well, actually, I would love to dance.

( clears throat ): All right. Let's get busy.

I'll be back.

Lowell?

Ha. Bunny.

Oh, what a small world.

How have you been?

I've missed you.

Really?

Have you, uh...

missed me?

Missed you?

Oh, no. Not-- Not really.

I don't think that...

missing you is-- Is, uh...

Okay, maybe a little.

Bunny, are-- Are you flirting with me?

What makes you say that?

Because I've seen you do it before.

Not with me, of course.

( song ends, people applaud )

Object of the game:

find the pea.

Fun for you. Heh-heh.

And more fun for me.

There.

( gasps )

Oh.

See how easy it is?

Let's play again. Okay.

( chuckles ): Okay.

But this time, let's make it

a little more interesting, huh?

Heh. ( camera clicking )

See this?

Now, all you have to do is go to Mommy's purse

and bring back as many of these as you can find.

Brian.

Brian.

That woman.

By the potatoes.

Yeah?

She is a vision.

She has the sad, dark eyes

that bespeak generations

of trouble and heartache.

God, she's hot.

So go ahead and talk to her.

Nah. Go ahead.

I-I never know what to say to a woman.

Antonio, Antonio. Do what I do.

Hang on her every word and never,

ever treat her like a sex object.

Unless, of course, your object is sex.

Hope that helped.

So, uh...

are you here with anyone?

( laughs )

Are you here with anyone?

Well, of course I am, silly.

His name is Phil.

( chuckles )

Phil, you say?

So...where is Phil?

You know, I'd really like to meet Phil.

Oh, thanks, Phil.

This is my ex-husband, Lowell.

Oh. Nice meeting you.

Sorry, I didn't catch the name.

Hi. Name is Joe.

I was wondering if maybe--

There you are, Joe. I thought I'd lost you.

Uh, I'm-- I'm sorry, Al, I-- No need to apologize.

Say, did I tell you about the Whales' pancake breakfast?

It's all you can eat, heh, and, boy, can we eat.

Yeah, you know, I guess you wouldn't be Whales

without a little blubber.

Blubber. Ha-ha-ha! Come here, you.

( laughs )

Really? Really?

So do you just market the bedpans

or do you design them yourself?

Did I mention that Phil drives a Porsche?

Really?

So who are you here with?

Oh, I'm here with, uh... Yvette.

And she drives a...Vette.

I can't wait to meet her.

I can't wait to find her.

Antonio, she'll never know

you want her to have your children

if you don't go over and introduce yourself.

Okay. I'll try.

How do I look?

Perfect.

Uh, except for that spot of gravy.

Dah. My new suit.

I-it's just a little spot.

Here. Uh, the club soda will take--

Take care of it in a moment.

It'll come right out.

Hm. It's not working.

It's not working, Fay.

Uh... Oh, my.

I-I probably shouldn't have used

a napkin with butter on it.

( band playing lounge music )

( song ends, applause )

Henry, don't you ever get tired?

Oh, hey. When the music starts,

my body has to move.

But, uh, if you want...

I guess we could sit one out.

Oh, that'd be nice.

Listen, I'm sorry that we haven't had a chance to dance.

Unless it's a merengue. I've been real busy--

I didn't catch your name. My name is Helen--

Fay...I cannot go over to her like this.

Why don't you just take the jacket off?

Because I don't have shoulder pads in my shirt.

Guess I have no choice.

Antonio, did you get a new pen recently?

Yes, why?

Agh.

"Jiffy Cleaners.

We're on the spot."

Well...all right.

I'll-- I'll see The Crying Game.

But...why is it so important to you?

( band playing slow lounge music )

Ah, Fay, it's no use.

I'm just too nervous to go over to her.

Oh, A-Antonio, either do it or not.

I can't hold your hand anymore.

For goodness sakes, I'm not your mother.

You're right.

Oh, oh, wait just a second.

There.

Hello.

I don't mean to be forward...

uh, but...would you consider...

dancing just one dance

with...

me?

Come here, funny face.

So you having a good time?

I'm working on it. How about yourself?

( scoffs ): You kidding me?

Al Weimper hasn't shut his blowhole all night.

Hey, Brian, I gotta tell you something.

The weirdest thing happened to me. What?

I was going through the receiving line. Mm-hm?

I lean over to kiss the bride's mother.

She slips me the tongue.

You too? Wha--?

You're kidding? She got both of us?

Listen, listen, listen. I'm shaking her hand, right?

And I lean in for a polite little kiss.

There it is: the hors d'oeuvre I never ordered.

Boo. Boom!

Right in there. Yeah, same thing.

The bride's mother?

You guys too?

( laughing )

What? She's a handsome woman.

( band playing upbeat lounge music )

Oh. To tell you the truth, I'm bushed.

Would you mind if we just called it a night?

( weakly ): That'd be fine.

Great. I'll get our coats.

Oh, God.

Oh, Fay. Quick, give me a pencil.

Well, I know I don't have one in my purse,

but sometimes I forget

and I leave one of those little pencils

from the bowling alley

in my hair.

Uh, uh, uh, dear? Don't you want to check your makeup?

Oh, Fay, not now.

Excuse me? Mm-hm?

I'm sorry.

We didn't have a chance to dance tonight.

But, um...

my name is Helen Chapel,

and if you're still interested...

here's my number.

Gee, thanks.

I, uh-- I really gotta get going.

Goodbye.

Well, I think I made an impression.

Oh, I'm sure you did.

( sobbing ): I hate weddings.

Hi, guys. Hey.

Hey, Walter. How does it feel to be married?

Great. And I'm sure I did the right thing too.

Watching Brian here move from woman to woman all night

made me realize

I'm not cut out for the single life.

Heck, when I'm playing with my grandchildren,

you'll still be out there on the prowl.

You are...the king.

Make sure you try some of that wedding cake.

It's real fudgy.

You okay?

Hey, I'm the king, right?

( scoffs )

Hey, look, man, if you, uh--

If you want to talk...

AL: Ahoy. Joe.

I gotta go.

Phil and I have to leave now.

It was good to see you again, Lowell.

Uh, you too, Bunny.

Too bad I never got to meet Yvette.

( chuckles )

Now, listen. About that.

I-- I, really-- I can't put this off any longer.

Sorry I took so long, honey.

Honey?

Aren't you going to introduce me?

Uh, yeah. Bunny, this is--

Yvette.

( chuckles ): Ooh-hoo. I get it.

Yeah.

Yeah. This is Yvette.

Oh, uh, I-- I didn't realize--

Lowell's been trying to pull me over all night.

I guess I was a little nervous

about meeting his ex-wife.

I like to think of him as all mine.

Well, it was, uh...

nice to finally meet you.

Guess I'll just be, uh, going now.

Bye, Lowell.

Bye, Bunny.

Uh. How did you--?

I bumped into Fay on my way in.

Thanks, Alex.

Have you seen Brian?

Uh, yeah. Actually, he just left.

Oh.

Hm, chair?

So I thought... you weren't coming tonight.

I wasn't going to, but I got tired of sitting at home

feeling sorry for myself.

See, this guy I used to live with--

a guy who said he couldn't make a commitment

--is getting married today down in Florida.

I just didn't want to be reminded of that.

Wow. Say, I thought I was having a bad night.

( Lorenz Hart's "Isn't It Romantic?" playing on keyboard )

You know...

thought I was gonna have a chance

to dance with Bunny again.

Will I do?

You know, I--

I've never danced with anyone but Bunny.

You're doing fine.

Isn't it romantic?

Oh, I really love this song.

I just wish I could remember the name of it.

( upbeat theme playing )