All language subtitles for Seinfeld S04E14 The Movie.en

What is with the age-gap
hiring policy

at most movie theaters?

You ever notice
they never hire anyone

between the ages of 15 and 80?

You know what I mean?

The girl that sells you
the ticket, she's 10.

Then there's the guy
that rips it, he's 102.

What happened
in the middle there?

Couldn't find anybody?

It's like they want to show you

how life comes full circle.

You know, you're 15.
You're selling the tickets.

Then you leave, you go out,

you have a family,
kids, marriage,

career, grandchildren...

80 years later,

you're back at the same theater,
three feet away,

ripping tickets.

It took you 80 years
to move three feet.

I don't understand.
The show's delayed? Why?

I don't know. Diane told me
to hold it for 15 minutes.

You don't understand.
I got this all timed.

I got another spot
cross-town at 9:50.

I'm not gonna make it.
I hear you, guy.

And I'm doing Letterman Monday.

You know, I gotta work out
the material.

Let me see what I can do.

JERRY:
Oh, no. Buckles?

You're not putting him
on tonight, are you?

No. He hangs around
in case somebody drops out.

Look, why don't you come back
and do the 11:00 spot?

I'm supposed to meet my friends

to see this movie Checkmate
at 10:30.

All right, forget the movie.
I'll do the 11:00 spot.

I'll be back.

Hey, Jer!

Hey!

Excuse me,
do you have a ticket?

No.

Okay, good.

You missed
your spot.

It was 9:15.

But, Maurice,
I'm positive you told me 9:50.

In any event,

I had no alternative
but to reassign your spot

to one of your peers

who possesses

a clearer understanding

of our scheduling
policies.

Jerry!

What are you doing here?

Do you think
this is funny?

Why do they call it
athlete's foot?

You don't have to be an athlete
to get it.

I mean, my father gets it
all the time,

and, believe me,
he's no athlete.

I gotta go.
Where?

The movies.
Well, I thought
you told Curtis

you were going back
to do the 11:00.

I am. I'm just gonna
stop by the theater

and tell my friends
I can't make it.

Well, that's cool.
I'll split a cab with you.

I could be a while.
I got time.

It'll give us a chance
to get to know each other

a little better.

Hey!
Hey!

[LAUGHS]
Where is everybody?

Everybody's late...

because they know good old
George would get in line early.

Oh, I've been dying
to see Checkmate.

If it's as good
as Ponce de León,

I'll be happy.

Ponce de León?

Are you kidding me?

I hated that movie.

Ponce de León?

But that was great.

Oh, come on.

That fountain
of youth scene

at the end,

where they're all
splashing around,

and then they go running
over to the mirror

to see if
it really worked...

[LAUGHING]
I mean, come on.

It's so stupid.

Let me tell you something.

When Ponce looked in that mirror

and saw that he hadn't changed,

and that tear started
to roll down his cheek,

I lost it.

Oh, there you are.

Oh, where have you been?
Hi.

Around the corner
at the Paradise Twin.

Well, I told you the Paragon.

No, you said
"Paradise."

I mean, it's playing
there too, you know.

No, I would not have said
"Paradise."

That's a twin theater. I want
to see it on a big screen.

Listen, I'm gonna get
a hot dog at Papaya King.

No!
No, wait!

You're never gonna
make it back in time.

I'm starving.
I haven't had dinner.

Get a hot dog
at the theater.

I don't want
a movie hot dog.

I want a Papaya King
hot dog.

Kramer, Jerry's gonna be here
any second,

and then this line's
gonna start moving,

and we're gonna end up
in the front row.

Well, just
save me a seat.

No, I don't wanna save seats.

Don't put me through that.

I once had the fleece

just ripped out
of my winter coat

in a seat-saving incident.

All right, well,
give me my ticket, then.

I don't have them yet.

What do you mean,
you don't have them yet?

I'm in line to buy.

No, George,

this is a ticket holders' line.

No, it's not.
It's the ticket buyers' line.

Then how come we're not moving?
Good question.

Is this the ticket holders' line
or the buyers'?

Holders.

When I asked you before
if you had a ticket,

you said no.

I didn't.

My friend was getting it.

That's good.
It's good to be accurate.

All right, stay here.
I'll go get tickets.

Can you believe him?

He's spaced out.

How long would you
have stood

in the ticket
holders' line?

Yeah, exactly.

It's sold out.

Oh, real good, George.

Real good.

Hey, I asked the guy
if he had a ticket!

All right,
what time is it?

Twenty after 10.
All right, they got one

at the Paradise
at 10:45.

No, I don't wanna go
to a miniplex multi-theater.

It's the same movie.
What's the difference?

No, it's not a theater.

It's like a room
where they bring in POWs

to show them propaganda films.

All right. I'm going.

It's in Dolby.

Well, what about Jerry?

You guys go get the tickets.
I'll wait here for him.

Terrific. All right.
All right.

Come on.
Come on.

BUCKLES:
So, then, when I was 12,

the whole family moved
from Bensonhurst

to Sheepshead Bay.

Mm-hmm.

We were right on the water.

The whole atmosphere
stunk from fish.

You know that fishy smell
I'm talking about?

Yeah, yeah, the fishy smell.

To this day, I won't eat fish.

Do you eat fish?

Yes! Yes, I eat fish.

I don't know
how you can eat that crap.

Take the park.

No, no, no, take 55th.

No, there's
beautiful homes there.

There's lovely, talented,
attractive people.

You'll thank me.

Jerry, I want you
to do me a favor.

No more fish.

Okay, I get your point!

I have a point?

Got 'em.

Beautiful.

Hey, you know
what else is playing here?

Rochelle Rochelle.

Ugh!
I wouldn't mind seeing that.

Yeah...you know,
men can sit through

the most pointless,
boring movie

if there's even
the slightest possibility

that a woman
will take her top off.

So, what's your point?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, by the way,
you owe me 7.50.

Oh, all right.
Can you break a 20?

No, I don't have any change.

Oh, well, then,
I'll pay you later.

Or I could take the 20,
and I could pay you later.

Yeah, you could.

Might be easier.

Well, how's that easier?

I mean, then you'd owe me 12.50
instead of me owing you 7.50.

Either way.

Yeah, it's the same thing.

So...can I have it?

I tell you what,

I'll get the popcorn
and the soda.

What do you mean, you'll "get"
the popcorn and the soda?

I will buy your popcorn
and soda,

and we'll call it even.

I'll tell you what,
give me the 20.

I'll buy you a popcorn
and a soda,

and I'll throw in the bonbons.

George, you're sapping
my strength.

MAN:
Hey, come on, go!

What about Kramer
and Jerry?

I'll wait out here for them.
You go in and save seats.

Me? But that's three seats.

I can't save three seats.

I told you about that guy
who tore up my winter coat.

Go save them. Go.

No, but George...George.

JERRY:
55th Street.
Great idea.

Saturday night theater traffic.
Good move.

I wonder how Ike Turner
would react in traffic.

You better move dat car, girl,
fo' I bust you up...

Or what about
José Feliciano?

[WITH SPANISH ACCENT]
It's not bad enough
that I can't see,

I have to sit here
for two hours?

I don't think so.

[RETURNS TO OWN VOICE]
It can be anybody.

People down through history
reacting in traffic.

Franklin Roosevelt...

Driver--

All right, all right.
I got the bit!

Jerry, I want you to have
this piece of material.

That's very nice of you.

I can't do the voices.

Jerry, don't
start up with me.

I gotta get out
of this cab.

But, Jerry,
we're riffing.

No, I'm not riffing.

I'm ignoring.

Do you understand
the difference?

Can you help me get
on The Tonight Show?

No, these are saved.

All of them?
Yeah.

Come on, you can't take
four seats.

What, is that a rule?

Are these your things?
Yeah, yeah.

Elaine. They didn't show.
I can't wait any more.

I'm going to miss the beginning.
Well, we'll take these seats.

Would you please
remove your stuff?

No, they'll be here.

But I am here. They are not.

They're coming.
George, listen,

run over to the Paragon

and give Kramer the two tickets
so they can come in, okay?

These are taken.
Taken.

Then if you hurry back,
you won't miss the beginning.

Why don't you go
and I could save the seats?

You said
you didn't like saving anyway.

No, taken! Taken, taken.

I'm getting the hang of it.

Look, why don't you give me
the 20,

and I'll stop and get change,

and then you and I can,
you know, settle up.

Can we do this later, George?

What's the point of even
discussing it anymore?

You'll give me the money
when you have it.

Right.

I-I trust you.

Hey, will you do me a favor?

Uh, you see a guy
who's about 5-foot 11,

he's got a big head
and flared nostrils,

tell him his friend's gonna be
right back, okay?

Okay, that's good.

No, I'm sorry.
These are taken.

They're in the lobby
buying popcorn.

What are you doing?

These are taken.
These are taken!

WOMAN: Which one?
These two and this one.

No, don't come over here!
These are taken!

Go! Go! These are taken.

They're taken.
They're taken!

Oh, take 'em!

Um, excuse me,

have you seen a guy with, like,
a horse face, big teeth,

and a pointed nose?

Flared nostrils?

Yeah.
No. Haven't seen him.

Jerry, could you do me
a personal favor?

And if I'm out of line,
please, let me know.

Could I keep my trenchcoattrench
coat in your closet

for a few months?

Your trench coat in my closet?

Jerry, my closet
is packed to the gills.

I'm afraid to open the door.

Just for a few months.

It'll make all the difference
in the world.

I can't keep your coat
in my closet.

I'm sorry you feel that way.
Well, that's how I feel.

Hey, your friends aren't here.

They must be inside.
I'm just gonna run in

and tell them
I can't make the movie.

We should go see
Rochelle Rochelle.

I hear it's really hot.

No, thanks.
Maybe some other time.

Really? Do you really mean that?

No, I don't.

But you liked
the athlete's foot bit, right?

No, no.

I was kidding.
It was terrible.

Here you go.
See you later.

Do you want me to wait for you?
No. No, don't wait!

Jerry, I'll wait to make sure
you get in, that's all.

I got some friends inside.
I need to get a message to them.

You mind
if I walk through real quick?

Go ahead!

BUCKLES:
Bye-bye!

Hey, did that guy
show up?

The guy with the horse face
and the big teeth?

No, with the big head
and the flared nostrils.

Haven't seen him.

There was a short guy
with glasses.

Looked like Humpty Dumpty
with a melon head,

but he left.

Hmm.

So I got home,
and he was vacuuming.

I mean, he's 12 years old.

Who else but my Alan
would do something like that?

And then, last night,
he put on my high heels.

Oh, he put on such a show
for us.

He was dancing around,
lip-synching to A Chorus Line.

I mean,
you can see he's got talent.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

What's the problem?

You're talking.

It's the coming attractions.

So, anyway, he sings,
he dances,

and you know what
he's gotten into now?

He is cooking.
He does a crepe...

Ticket, sir?

Uh, I just went out. I went
to look for my friends.

Do you have your stub?

My stub?
Mm-hmm.

Who keeps the stub?

No one holds onto the stub.

I'm going to the movies
for 25 years,

nobody ever asked me
for the stub.

You don't remember me?

It's a big city, sir.

Yeah, I went in
with a pretty woman,

you know, kind of short,
big wall of hair,

face like a frying pan?
Nope.

I-I can't find it.

I can't let you in
without your stub.

All right, here.
It's my friend's ticket.

[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE]

[LOUDLY WHISPERS]:
Elaine?

MAN:
Yes, a chess piece.

Elaine.

WOMAN [LOUDLY WHISPERS]:
Sit down!

Elaine.

MAN:
Hey, shut up!

I'm looking for my friend.

Check the bathroom.
You're bothering everybody.

What am I supposed to do?
I know my friend's here.

What do you want me to do?
You could shut up.

[SHOUTS]: Elaine!

ALL:
Shut up!

JERRY [WHISPERING]:
Elaine.

Elaine.

Shh!

MAN [IN MOVIE TRAILER]:
The Village Voice
calls it a masterpiece.

A young woman's
strange, erotic journey

from Milan to Minsk.

It's a story about life
and love

and becoming a woman.

Rochelle Rochelle,

now playing
at the Paradise Two.

There you go.
Thank you.

Um, could I have
a medium Diet Coke?

Do you want the medium size
or the middle size?

What's the difference?
We have three sizes,

medium, large, and jumbo.

What happened to the small?

There is no small.
Small's medium.

So, what's medium?

Medium's large,
and large is jumbo.

Okay, give me the large.
That's medium.

Right. Yeah.
Can I have a small popcorn?

There is no small.
Child size is small.

What's medium?
Adult.

Do adults ever order
the child size?

Not usually.

[CHUCKLES]
Okay, give me the adult.

Do you want butter?
Is it real butter?

It's butter flavoring.
Well, what is it made of?

It's yellow.
[SIGHS]

Thanks.

Oh, thank you,
thank you.

You don't know how long
I've been waiting out there.

Very busy tonight,
very busy.

Where you go?

Uh, 44th and 9th.

Have you got a cigarette?

No.

Ticket, sir?

We've just been
through this!

You don't remember?

We just had this
exact same conversation

a minute ago.

I need to see
your stub.

I got the stub.
I got the stub.

I put it right in my pocket.

I got the st--
I'm telling you, I got the stub.

I just-- I don't know--
I don't know where it is.

I can't let you in
without your stub.

You just let me in.

We just did this a minute ago!

All right, okay. There.

There you go, okay?

That's my other friend's ticket.

You happy now?
You got two tickets!

Two of my friends!

Ticket, sir?

KRAMER:
Uh, no, see, my friend
bought me a ticket.

See, I'm late.
She's already inside.

Go ahead.
Enjoy the movie.
Thanks.

MAN:
What is it, Your Majesty?

Is that seat taken?
It's all yours.

MAN 2:
Why would anyone ask?

MAN:
When I tell you something,
you damn well better listen.

I'm getting tired
of all these questions.

MAN 2:
Yes, your Majesty.

I'm sorry, Grendel...
I've been very taxed lately.

Yeah, I'm very sorry.
You give me a few minutes?

I have to stop
for gasoline.

Gasoline? Can't you get it
after you drop me off?

No, impossible.
It is on empty.

You see?

Yeah, yeah, okay.

MAN:
So, look, Your Majesty.

[WHISPERS]
What happened to my seat?

My God, where was I?

MAN:
Hey, sit down.
I can't see!

WOMAN [WHISPERS]:
Get out of the way!

I can't find my seat.

Just move!

No, you move!

Get the hell
out of here! Jeez!

MAN:
You're soaking wet.
Come here.

ROCHELLE:
My name is Rochelle.
I'm from Milan.

I'm supposed to visit
my relatives in Minsk.

Here, stand
by the fire.

Take off those wet clothes.
You'll catch cold.

Oh, my hands
are so cold,

I can barely
get these buttons open.

That's much better,
much, much better.

[MOVIE DIALOGUES CONTINUE]

Listen, I just went
to go get popcorn,

And-- Oh, God!

I just went to go
get popcorn, okay,

and-- And somebody
took my seat,

and my coat
is in there.

There's a seat
in the front row.

No, no, I can't sit
in the front row.

Well, you're just gonna
have to wait, then.

I can't stand around here
for two hours!

I can let you see
Rochelle Rochelle.

Oh, thanks.

[SIGHS]

Oh, hey, listen,

by the way,

have you seen
a tall, lanky doofus

with a bird face

and hair like
the Bride of Frankenstein?

I haven't seen him.

[SIGHING]
Okay.

JERRY:
Hey, let's go.
I'm gonna miss my spot.

Yes, yes.
We go, we go. One minute.

I run across the street
for cigarettes.

For cigarettes?
I don't have time.

I'm going to miss my spot.

No, no, we go very soon.

MAN:
I didn't know

you enjoyed chess,
Your Majesty.

MAN 2:
Why wouldn't I?

Well, because the king
is always in jeopardy.

Yes, but it's only
a game.

Yes, of course...
only a game.

Hey, did I make it?

Sorry.

Oh, great. That's great.
What a night.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]

MC [OVER PA]:
Pat Buckles,
ladies and gentlemen.

Another round of applause
for Pat Buckles.

Good set.
Thanks.

You got my spot?

That athlete's foot bit kills.

Really?

Do you think I need
to lose some weight?

Weight? No.
You just need some height.

Jerry, don't start up with me.

What are you
doing now?

What am I doing now?
My whole night's ruined.

I didn't do any sets.
I didn't get to the movies.

Come on, we can still catch
most of Rochelle Rochelle.

Rochelle Rochelle, huh?

A young girl's strange,
erotic journey

from Milan to Minsk.

Minsk?

ROCHELLE:
My father was a shoemaker.

He worked very hard,
and we didn't have much money.

MAN: Rochelle, Rochelle,

what are we going
to do with you?

I'm going away tomorrow.
Where? Where are you going?

I want to go with you.

Take me with you.

Oh, don't be
a silly goose.

But I've never
seen Minsk.

I hear there's so much
hustle and bustle.

You're being absurd.
Leave me alone.

[ROMANTIC THEME PLAYS]

Rochelle, Rochelle.
Do you love me?

Oh, give me a break!

Elaine?

Jerry!

Elaine!

MAN [WHISPERS]:
Shut up!

Jerry?

George?

Elaine?

George!

Hey, where's Kramer?
MAN: Will you shut up?

I don't know.
Does this movie stink, or what?

Let's get out of here.
I'll see you.

You're leaving?
Yeah.

Jerry, take the coat.
Please, one month.

I don't want the coat.

Jerry!

Call me when you get home
so I know you're okay.

What happened
to you?

I missed you
over at the other theater,

then I missed my set,

and I had
nothing to do.

Oh, man.
Look at this!

I sat in gum.

What happened
to Checkmate?

Oh, I went out
to get popcorn,

and some creep
took my seat.

Hey, by the way,
you owe me 7.50.

But I didn't even
use the ticket.

I still paid
for it.

I only have a 20.

Hey-hey-hi!

Hey!

What happened
to you?

That's my coat!
Give me that!

Where did you
get that?

It was on the seat.

You took
my seat?

You, uh, owe me 7.50.
Yeah, right.

What is
this stain?

It's yellow mustard.

Can you
break a 20?

But I always get confused
in the movie theater

by the plot.

It's embarrassing.

This is embarrassing thing
to have to admit,

but I'm the one that you see
in the parking lot,

after the movie,
talking with his friends,

going, "Oh, you mean
that was the same guy

"from the beginning?

Oh..."

Nobody will explain it to you.

When you're in the theater,
you can't find out--

[WHISPERING]
"Why did they kill that guy?

"Why did they kill him?

"Who was that guy?
What was that guy?

"I thought he was with them.
Wasn't he with them?

"Why would they kill him
if he was with them?

"Oh, he wasn't really with them.

"I thought he was with them.

It's a good thing
they killed him."

[♪♪♪]