Original subtitles

Hey, what do you think you're doing?!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Bing-Bang! Come on, pal! Whoo-hoo!

Take that, Chacha! Bing-Bing-Bing!

Come on! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Unbelievable.

He's insane!

Hey, no! Give it back to me!

Don't mess with the Cobra!

Amigo, chimichanga, take it out.

Heh-heh. Here you go.

Yee-ha! Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing!

Holy!

Oh, yeah.

Ooh. Nice.

Now it's showtime. Baby.

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna have to go to the beach.

I'm gonna have to go to the beach.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

I'm gonna have to go to the beach.

I'm gonna have to go to the beach.

I'm gonna have to go to the beach.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The deal with Deadpool.

Whoa! So cool!

I call it Build-Up Armor.

We'll finish mine first, run some performance tests,

and then make more for Thor, Cap, Hulk, and Wasp.

Hmm. With the Kree mocked, huh?

Good thing the bad guys don't know about it.

In the wrong hands, it could destroy all of us.

Tell me, how much longer is this Build-Up Armor going to take?

My best guess, maybe 12 hours.

Hey, it's Hikaru. Why would he want to video chat with me?

Akira, I'm right outside.

Welcome back. I'll get the door.

Wait, don't open it yet.

First I have to talk to Mr. Stark about something.

About what?

Well, you see, there's this guy here who says he's a friend of Mr. Stark's,

but I don't know if I should let him in.

Ah, geez!

Tony?

Huh? What's up, Akira?

A friend of yours?

Ooh, nobody told me the humidity in Japan was so brutal.

Who is this guy?

Is he for real?

As far as superheroes go, Deadpool's an oddball.

Instead of ethics, he's usually swayed by money.

You know, four eyes. If you can't say anything nice, don't say nada.

You'll give your friends in front of the TV the wrong idea.

My friends?

Yes! Your friends are watching!

Let me explain you. Yours truly, Deadpool,

is kind of a super duper hero who pays attention to his fans.

You guys watching at home.

Here, let's look at the data to improve my voice.

With my dope off-the-wall moves and my jibba-jibba-jabble,

the coolest hero in America these days is...

Me, Deadpool. Check it.

My appeal spans all kinds of pie charts and relevant demographics,

and Hollywood stars. They love me.

And athletes? Love me.

Even the president, I have to say.

He loves me!

I am a hit with facelessly.

Okay, listen up, everyone.

With me on Marvel Disc Wars, The Avengers.

The show will top the ratings.

Finally a real hero around here.

I'm coming for you, world.

And you know, I'm kicking things off in Japan.

Whew, I'm tired.

It's not easy being the star of a show. Where's my trailer?

The star of a show?

Don't even bother. He's full of nonsense.

We're busy right now, Deadpool. What is it you want?

Oh, so you're gonna cop a two, huh?

Oh, maybe I can change your state of mind.

Boo-yah!

That's Iron Fist's disc. Iron Fist is an important superhero.

He became a master of every style of martial art in the city of Kun Lun.

And his finishing move is...

No! You're talking, talking, talking, talking!

Geez, enough already. How much screen time do kids hog up around here?

I mean, let's get to the arts, and otherwise this cartoon is boring.

Am I right?

What? I'm not following you.

Now, that's enough. Deadpool, where did you acquire that disc?

Well, the story goes, I was just a little hungry, right?

So, I went to buy the chimichanga to stop my wittle tummy grumbles.

And the joint happened to be a hangout for the bad guys.

So, I beat up a few of them to get some spending money, but then I noticed I, um...

What? Wait.

You want it?

It's yours, kid.

You serious?

Don't do it, Akira.

Thanks, dude.

Get a jump for it!

How old are you?

Something tells me this guy's not here to be nice and turn in a lost disc.

Correct, Lando!

So, is this about money?

Fine. Name your price.

Nah, that I don't like money, but instead, this time I flew all the way here for one reason.

And one reason only.

Ooh, I don't know, uh, gosh, I'm just so... I can see it's one way.

What am I gonna say? I'm so embarrassed.

Out with it already!

Okay!

I, Deadpool, want to be the leader of the Avengers!

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

What? Did I say something wrong?

So, what do we do now?

Yeah! Hulk is the best!

Wow, talk about weak.

What's in it?

You think that this is a good fighting game?

Oh, don't you see?

The Ultra moves away OP, so much so that there's no point to jump attacks.

I mean, one Hulk smash clobbered me and took half my life.

Unforgivable.

You guys should get me to test this thing out next time.

I mean, this game is just redonkulous.

It is so bad that I don't even care.

I don't even care enough to say that I don't care, because it's so lame.

Loser.

Bad loser.

Every time he fails, he starts making lame excuses.

Why not try playing with a different character?

Spider-Man isn't an easy choice for a novice player like you.

No way.

Spidey's my favorite.

I couldn't bear to think of playing with another character.

No, no, no way.

I didn't want to think about it.

Would you can it, Deadpool?

So, is your meeting adjourned?

Yeah.

And what's the deal?

Before we give you our answer, we have an important question.

Why do you want to be the leader of the Avengers?

I thought it was obvious.

The Avengers are the top hero team in the world.

If I am your leader, then I can become very popular with the ladies

and step into the spotlight.

Plus, once I'm a regular fixture on the show,

I will be immortalized with my very own awesome action figure.

We'll help here, Tony.

Here's our decision.

We'll pay you whatever you want for the disc.

Name your price.

Fantastical.

However, on the question of becoming our leader...

What was that?

I know you're in there, Deadpool.

I am going to ring your neck

right after you give me back the disc you stole.

He was there when we fought against Loki.

Wait, didn't he get captured into a disc

and sucked into another dimension?

If you don't come out, we'll blow this place apart.

Please, like we haven't heard that before.

Let's go, Ed.

De-smash me right now.

No, stay.

I'll protect you.

You what?

Protect you.

I can't go putting my valued workforce in needless danger.

No, can I?

Workforce?

Of course.

Since I'm going to be the new leader of the mighty superheroes,

the Avengers!

Whoa, hold on.

We never said that you were the leader.

It's extra special tempered glass.

The strength is impressive, isn't it?

Nope, cut that.

Cut that scene.

Just delete the whole thing, please.

Make it happen, production team.

Tremble before me, dude.

Deadpool is here.

You got the drop on us last time.

But today you'll feel our power.

Hour?

Since when did you become an hour?

I am Cottonmouth.

I am Diamondback.

And I am King Cobra.

Serpent Society, assemble now.

You regret ever messing with us, but it's too late to turn back now.

How does it feel to be doomed, you fool?

Now we will show you how dangerous the Serpent Society can truly be.

Who, then, fang face?

Iron Man!

Mighty Thor!

Captain America!

Wasp!

And Hulk!

Be fast!

For the glory of Asgard!

Courage, honor, freedom, and hope!

Villains in town, let's take them down.

Smash!

Suit up. It's on.

The Avengers?

Talk about bad luck.

Wait, is this where you lead?

Are you kidding me?

You're the worst leader ever.

Do something quick. You're the boss.

Hey, don't put this all on me.

As usual, these snake types are ridiculous.

Yeah, even I gotta admit, all six of us seems like overkill for these bozos.

Oh, well, I gotta be grateful for this chance anyway.

Here she goes.

Avengers assemble!

Hey, hey.

We don't know anything.

Red Skull de-smashed us and told us we had to follow his orders.

That's all I can tell you.

Jessica, just go ahead and wrap this up, okay?

Welcome back.

Thanks.

So tell me, what did you guys learn?

What does it all mean?

Our game system doesn't detect anything, but Red Skull hasn't slowed down.

He keeps finding and collecting discs.

He clearly has an advantage over us.

Isn't it all possible that he's directly accessing interdimensional space?

Well, if he is, it would be the missing clue for us to find and rescue Dr. Akatsuki.

Woo, doggy, that felt great.

Okay, I'm all done. Shower's yours.

Before we can tackle that, we still gotta deal with this joker.

Ooh, you guys wanna get my signature on the contract?

We gotta make plans for the welcoming party.

Van Nort DJ.

Look, Deadpool.

Don't need to be so stiff, little cappy.

We're pals now, old man.

We're buddies.

Amigos.

We can relax around each other.

Take it easy.

Deadpool.

Did you say something?

I'm sorry, but we can't let you join the Avengers right now.

I don't... get it?

You don't realize it, but we're in the middle of a serious situation.

We don't have the luxury of time to train a new member.

We're busy.

I see.

After much time and careful consideration, we are sorry to inform you that we have decided to decline your application.

This was a difficult decision for the hiring committee.

We wish you luck in your future, Deadpool-ing.

So, that's it.

Hey, kid.

That's you.

You sure?

Gotta do the classy thing and end on a high note.

Remember me as I am.

Right now.

As a part.

How could I not?

Sorry for all the trouble, El Capitan.

Forget about it.

I just want you to know I will be rooting for you guys.

From the sidelines, that is.

Adios.

Will he be okay?

Huh?

What's this?

The disc was a fake?

He tricked us.

Oh, don't tell me.

Pepper?

King Cobra on the other discs?

Huh?

Hahahaha!

I can't believe I trusted him.

Deadpool, you goofball.

Yeah.

You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?

Deadpool rocks!

Oh, this kid wrote, "If you don't bring Deadpool back, I will never watch Disc Wars again."

Haha, this girl said, "The story is terrible.

I can write it better."

Sorry if I'm interrupting.

So, it was you who called me here, Tiger Shock.

Sneaky sea creature.

Great question.

How did you get my email address?

I thought I unsubscribed.

Red Skull's intelligence network is wide, powerful, and impressive.

No more questions.

Let's get down to business.

You want these?

They're just pawns.

I have no more use for them.

What I really want is...

This guy?

How much for the disc?

I've heard about you, that you'll work on our side if the price is right.

You're the kind of dirtbag who would sell out his own mother for a dime.

Maybe you're right.

I'm not the kind of guy who's fit to lead the Avengers.

Maybe they won't have me.

I'm a reject.

Nevertheless, I don't like the way you're talking to me,

and I don't like your creepy fish face.

And I happen to be in a very bad mood today.

Since we're in Japan, I'm going to turn you into sushi.

Too slow, too slow.

Oh, yeah?

Ha!

Where you going to go when you got nowhere left to hide in that fish face?

Yo, man!

It was a shame to slash something so unworthy.

Hey, what the where now?

You've gone and pushed your luck.

That was a fatal mistake.

Now I will show you the power of the Dimension Sphere.

Bring it!

Hey, no fair!

That is cheating.

The Marvel's official website never said you could do this kind of stuff.

We're not your team.

You can't give village new powers whenever you want.

Time out.

Uh, I surrender.

As of today, I work for Red Skull.

He's the boss.

I'll even change my name to Dead Skull.

I know you're just buying time.

You possess a regenerative mutant healing power.

I'm not stupid enough to let you recover.

You're going in here.

Hang on.

Let's not be rash.

You don't want to do that.

Please, I'm begging you.

I want my mommy!

Eposis!

Eposis!

Lightning Strike!

You came!

Avengers Assemble!

Hey, how you holding up there, Deadpool?

I am so great.

Never been better.

And I am so sorry I complained about you kids hogging up valuable screen time.

You guys are my favorite.

This show is great the way it is.

Why does he keep talking about a show?

Impressive tracking.

How did you find us?

When Deadpool was taking a shower,

we placed a transmitter device in his costume and traced his every move.

We knew we couldn't trust him from the moment he showed up.

You really know how to hurt a guy's feelings.

Master Red Skull ordered me to leave you alone.

It was tempting to seek and destroy you, but I obeyed his command.

But now that you've chosen to interfere, you leave me no choice.

All right!

No!

Run out of your pathetic jokes, Iron Man?

Or are you just scared speechless by my beasts?

Akira!

And what's that supposed to be?

I call it the Build-Up Armor Teleporter System.

The latest brilliant invention of yours truly, Tony Stark.

I just have to push this button and Iron Man will become more powerful than you can imagine.

He's gonna destroy you in the blink of an eye.

If that were true, you would have already unleashed this weapon of yours.

The fact that you're telling me what it is reveals that you're bluffing!

Can't outsmart me!

Okay, okay, you're pretty clever for a shark.

To be honest, it's fresh out of the oven.

We haven't even had time to test it.

There's a good chance the energy will overload.

It'll surge so big the square block will be wiped off the map.

Wait, what?

Were you expecting me to be frightened?

I know that kind of technology isn't possible!

Maybe it wasn't, but science moves at light speed.

The future is now.

What was once impossible will soon be commonplace.

After all, how have I, Tony Stark, managed to stay at the top of such a competitive industry?

It's because I hate to lose.

You expect me to believe you would put these children at risk?

Don't underestimate us!

Huh?

We're no average kids.

We're the Avengers partners.

And we're ready for anything.

The Build-Up Armor isn't finished yet.

If he finds out this is a dummy device, then we're out of options.

But we can't abandon Deadpool and Iron Fist either.

I thought I told you to leave the Avengers alone.

Master!

That voice.

It's gotta be Red Skull.

De-secure!

Let's be clear, Avengers.

I'm not afraid of you or your new catches.

It's the law of justice that you represent.

What I fear is the triumph of good over evil that permeates this world.

What are you talking about?

Time and again, we've come into conflict and I always drive you superheroes to the wall.

Perfect plans, perfect execution, and yet somehow I always fail right when I am on the verge of victory.

Why is that?

I hate to admit it, but there is a reason.

I will never prosper.

That is the law of this sad world.

For now it governs us all.

What you're saying is nothing new.

Seems to me you're the only one who hasn't figured it out yet.

Wicked forces may seem strong, but they'll always lose to the righteous.

Okay, you've learned this truth, so tell us now what is it you plan to do?

He is gone?

I think so.

Hey, Tony, how'd I do this time?

Not too bad, partner.

Aw, yeah.

And hey, Deadpool?

Figures.

Now, what am I supposed to do with this diss thing?

I could give it to you guys watching me on television.

Nope.

Sorry, suckers.