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Oh.
It's been a busy week. The national debt topped $40 trillion.
Trump threatened to bomb Amman. And at a debate in South Carolina, Lindsey
Graham's sister, who's running to take his seat, gave a train wreck of an
answer.
I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?
Are Taiwan and the South China Sea national security issues for the United
States? And if so, why or how?
I'm just going to be honest here. I'm not on national security.
I'm not that informed on national security.
But I do support the military.
Yeah, pretty bad.
And you know what? I will give Darlene Graham the same advice I'd give Liam
Hemsworth. You don't have to do this.
just because your brother did.
But I want to focus on a less covered story from this week, involving Sean
Duffy, Secretary of Transportation.
You may remember a few months back, he unveiled this weird trailer for the
Great American Road Trip, a show supposedly celebrating America's 250th
anniversary. What a beautiful family.
Hi, I'm Chester Adam, Mr. President. Chester, the President of Trump.
Taking a little trip? Yes, yes. A little trip all over.
So the motto is, to love America, it's to see America.
It's more than a road trip. It's a civic experience.
It's one of the most powerful ways to understand the vast, beautiful,
complicated place we call home.
One, two, three, road trip!
OK, lots not to like there from the generic hey-ho folk rock to Trump giving
insane grandma's new boyfriend vibes.
to the very conspicuous close-up of the Toyota logo, to the seemingly AI
-generated images of cars, which makes sense. No one's ever thought to film a
real car before.
When the Great American Road Trip was announced, they sold it pretty hard.
Duffy's wife, Fox host Rachel Campos Duffy, even claimed it was a solution to
what ails us as a nation.
I'm going to be really honest. We live in a porn hub world. This is really
wholesome, good family stuff. This is what...
families need to do is just get together. That's what our kids want from
us. Is it?
Because I think what every kid really wants is for their mom not to say the
word Pornhub on national TV.
Also, she clearly hasn't spent a lot of time on that site or she'd know families
getting together is very much its own category.
But the show quickly became controversial with people asking things
like, hey, you know gas is over $4 a gallon, right? And did you film a
reality show with your family when you were supposed to be running a cabinet
department? And who is paying for this exactly?
And the answers that Duffy gave weren't reassuring.
He says production took place in short windows over seven months.
I'm going to have to pay for this operation. I've got to go to work. Duffy
did conduct official government business paid for by taxpayers in some of the
locations where filming took place.
But he says no taxpayer money was used on his family and that the series was
funded through a nonprofit production company called Great American Road Trip,
Inc. It lists 17 sponsors on its website.
including Boeing, Toyota, Shell, Royal Caribbean Group and United Airlines.
All companies Duffy's department oversees and regulates. Yeah, that's not
great. The only worse answer to who paid for this than the American taxpayer is a
bunch of companies I oversee and regulate. Actually, I suppose an even
worse answer would be a bunch of companies I oversee and regulate and
also my close personal friend Jeffrey Epstein, but that is still pretty bad.
And this show cannot have been cheap to produce, given Toyota and Boeing alone
reportedly paid a million dollars each to help get it made. So it is no
surprise Duffy wound up having to answer questions about it in Congress, and his
defense was noticeably weak.
It is literally your job to make sure each of those companies are playing by
the rule.
So Toyota is sponsoring a show starring you, and it is your department, Mr.
Secretary. You hate America?
Don't you want to celebrate America? Mr. Secretary, it is your department that
decides whether Toyota's next recall... It's our birthday!
You sound like a fucking child!
You do get that just because it's America's birthday doesn't mean you get
to do an ethics violation, right?
Grow up, Sean!
This show was supposed to come out in June, but all the scrutiny seemed to
delay it, with Duffy at one point saying they needed to re-edit to make sure I
come into compliance with all of the ethics rules that we have in government.
Which is definitely something best done hastily after the fact.
But this Wednesday, with no warning, all six episodes were quietly dumped on
YouTube. And before I talk about the show, a bit of context about why Duffy
might have thought this was a good idea. Because he has long loved being on
camera. He was actually on The Real World Boston back in the late 90s, where
he presented himself as deeply horny. In his audition, he reportedly said he
wanted to be on the show because of his interest in cute girls.
And when asked by a producer how many times he'd had sex in the last six
months, he, and I'm quoting here, flashed a big smile.
and responded, three times.
Three different individuals.
Yeah. And three different times.
Adding, I'm sort of starving right now, guys. And I've got to say, I had sex
with three different women, none of whom were interested in an encore.
Says a lot more about you than I think you wanted to reveal there.
Now, on the show, Duffy got attention for annoying the fuck out of his black
castmate, Camila, who he fought with over affirmative action, complaining, he
could have gotten into a better college if I were a black male.
And at another point, compared her to Adolf Hitler while accusing her of
reverse racism. And, well, sadly, Duffy didn't find a cute girl to have his
fourth sex with in the real world house.
He did actually meet his wife soon afterward during the spin-off Road Rules
All-Stars. In fact, here they are, flirting on camera, after which the show
cuts away to this incredible confessional interview.
I'm a playful person. I'll go and just play with people in probably a sexual
way. And I think it can be perceived in the wrong way. And I think she might
take my actions as me, you know, liking her and wanting to get down with her and
maybe feel her little boobies. Well, it's official.
We found it. The worst possible answer to the question. So, how did you and mom
meet?
Also, for the record, no one over the age of six should be saying the word
boobies. After that point, you call them breasts, and then when you're 90, you
get to call them knockers without anyone correcting you. That is the deal.
Anyway, Duffy eventually ran for Congress, where he served four terms,
then became a TV pundit and co-host of a right-wing podcast with his wife,
featuring episodes like Is Wokeism the United States Cultural Revolution? And
Why Taylor Swift is the Sign of a Declining Society?
Then last year, he joined the Trump administration as Transportation
Secretary, bringing all his culture war energy to that job, including after a
deadly plane crash outside D.C., absurdly suggesting D.E.I. had played a
role, saying you can't focus on diversity, equity and inclusion when you
try to hire air... traffic controllers. And yet, somehow, with all his
responsibilities, Duffy still managed to find time to film the Great American
Road Trip. And while its marketing materials described it as a nationwide
storytelling movement that invites Americans to explore the open road and
connect with their communities, as we learned this week, that's not really
what it is at all. Because it turns out it's basically just an expensively
produced test run of a Duffy family reality show, with each episode
featuring a bare minimum about travel or America, but a ton of... of manufactured
reality TV drama around the Duffys doing stuff like planning a family party or,
over the course of several episodes, watching their daughter decide which
college she'll attend, a debate, incidentally, that Sean wades into in
exactly the way you'd expect.
If I do get it, I feel like you can't say no.
To Harvard? Yeah. Well, me and Mom can say no.
Catholicism, to us, is everything. It's the basis of our marriage, it's the
basis of our family, so...
I'm nervous about the idea of Paloma going to Harvard. My problem is we have
thought about how we raised you and how hard we've worked to, I think, raise
what is a remarkable young girl.
If I send you there, I think what happens is they have professionalized
figuring out how they can take good young girls like you and, I think,
corrupt their minds.
What the fuck are you talking about?
First, this was supposed to be a road trip. Why are we still in your kitchen?
Second, is there anything less relatable than a family whose conflict is, how do
I tell my daughter she can't go to Harvard because we did too good a job
raising her? And finally, please, don't be worried that Harvard's going to
corrupt your daughter's mind. Worry that if she goes there, like every other
Harvard grad, she's never going to shut the fuck up about it.
One of this show's writers went to Harvard, and guess how I know that?
Exactly. I don't know where any of the others went.
But if you think that moment is uncomfortable, they also go to Boston to
visit the real world house where Duffy tries to rewrite some history.
Camille and I, the house is set up for the two of us to room together.
We got along well, though. It was fun. It was good.
You called her a bitch.
I did not.
Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't?
You're saying that you didn't call Camille a bitch?
Let's go to the tape, Sean.
I walked up ahead of the group and I called her a bitch.
Yeah, you did.
You did call her that. Call me CVS, Sean, because I will always bring the
receipts. But maybe what's most noticeable about the Great American Road
Trip is that whatever last-minute edits were made to it seem to have cut a lot
of stuff out. A bunch of stuff from the trailer is now missing, including visits
with country musician John Rich and also Kid Rock, who, and this is true, are
apparently two completely different people.
More conspicuously, they've also removed a whole tour of a cruise ship operated
by one of the show's big sponsors, Royal Caribbean, although notably other
sponsors still get some airtime, with the show featuring the family touring a
Boeing factory in South Carolina and visiting a Waymo facility in Arizona,
where Duffy calls the company the future of transportation. But perhaps the
clunkiest moment that got left in involves what sure seems like sponsor
integration for one of the show's backers, the Electronic Payments
Coalition, a lobbying group representing credit card companies. because in one
episode when the family goes to lunch, out of nowhere, Naomi Alindo, a former
cast member on Southern Charm, turns up and suddenly steers the conversation in
a very specific direction.
See if you can spot it.
I'm getting married in July, so... Oh, congratulations.
Thank you so much. I'm a frugal person, and I want to be, like, smart with my
money. Planning a wedding and, like, a honeymoon and stuff and all that can get
so expensive, and we booked our entire honeymoon with points. Like, the entire
thing. I did, too. You did?
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you so much.
People can come here on points, and then the more they go out to eat, they shop
where they stay, they use their cards, and they're still earning points while
being here. So, I mean, it might be girl math, but to me that sounds amazing, and
it really makes sense.
What a natural conversation.
Just a normal extended monologue about the flexibility of credit card points.
Delivered to a table of bored children who, and I know I'm projecting here,
have definitely been told that if they interrupt her or make any noise, she's
going to have to go back to the start and do the whole thing again.
And look, I don't really give a shit if Sean Duffy and his wife want to become
the next Duggars or John and Kate or Alec and Hilaria Baldwin.
What's concerning is them doing it on the back of the Department of
Transportation, because it feels ethically dubious on so many levels.
Which may be why, at this point, everyone involved in the Great American
Road Trip seems like they'd rather just sweep it under the rug. Since it came
out, the Duffies have barely promoted the show, and the Department of
Transportation hasn't posted about it at all. It is no wonder hardly anyone seems
to have watched this thing.
But even if everyone involved wants to move on and act like it never happened,
I'm not sure that the rest of us should. Because the appearance of a conflict of
interest here is not going to go away. For a start, the Department of
Transportation, right now.
has at least two open investigations into Waymo for its self-driving cars
driving around a stopped school bus and striking a child in the area of a
school. And as one expert in government ethics has said, there is every reason
not to trust Duffy to be protecting public safety when it comes to Waymo
because he's accepted this gift.
Thankfully, a government watchdog group has filed both an official complaint and
FOIA request to find out more about how all of this happened. Which is good,
because I've got to say, having watched all three hours of this god-awful show,
from gender reveals to the Duffeys renewing their vows for no clear reason,
it feels less like the country's been taken on a road trip by Sean Duffy, and
a lot more like we've all been taken for a fucking ride.
And now, this.
And now, nobody does a transition to an ad read like Ben Shapiro.
All the worst people are very, very excited about Lindsey Graham's death.
All the worst people. But listen, whenever you talk about mortality or the
passage of time, it's a big reminder that you don't have time to waste. And
it's a reality.
We just had a baby. That means we are super-duper busy.
There's no time to waste. And that's also true when it comes to your
business. We all have our own time-saving hacks for everyday life. If
you're a business owner, how can you save time hiring?
ZipRecruiter. Listen, what Mamdani is doing right here is not realistic,
obviously. It's utopian and really ugly, and it violates every basic principle of
Econ 101.
He's not interested in saving money or efficiency.
But if you're interested in saving money or doing efficiency, obviously check out
my friends at PureTalk. Coming up, the president.
Ripped on election machines. She says they're not working properly, or at
least they are vulnerable.
But here's what you need working properly.
Your cell phone coverage. It turns out that when you import a bunch of third
world people who are also radically Muslim, you might have a bit of a crime
problem. I know, these things are shocking. You know what's not shocking?
That it's very hot today in Florida. It's hot every day in Florida this time
of year. And this is why you need a mattress that breathes. Candace Owens,
why was she so obsessed with Charlie Kirk? What was up with that obsession?
But speaking of obsession.
I'm obsessed with balance of nature. Balance of nature products actually. I
mean, look at this.
Moving on. Our main story tonight concerns subscriptions.
The way that HBO, from the very start, made money. And while I don't need to
show you this old promo for it, I do want to.
The HBO Knockout Fall is here. With blockbuster movies like Rambo, First
Blood Part II, Jagged Edge, Silverado and Cocoon. Just call this number and
order cable TV and HBO.
You'll save 50% on installation and get this telephone alarm clock absolutely
free. It's magnificent.
What happened to this company?
Nowadays, when you sign up for HBO Max, all you get is access to this.
But HBO used to throw in alarm clock phones that doubled as weapons that you
could throw at your boyfriend during a fight, a theme song, and a cartoon mom
and dad who you can tell go absolutely feral after dark.
Those two have never met a bet they didn't wreck, shred, and moisten. And if
you are shocked by how graphically I'm discussing these innocent cartoons,
remember, this is HBO.
You pay for the filth.
Specifically, I want to talk about the fact that more and more things seem to
have shifted to a subscription model nowadays. You've probably noticed how
we've gone from buying music and movies to simply paying a monthly fee to access
them. But subscriptions have also expanded to everything, from clothing to
beauty products to cleaning services to even this.
Taco Bell now testing a taco subscription service.
It looks like it works like this.
Customers pay $5 to $10 a month for what's called a taco lover's pass.
That lets them get one of a variety of tacos every day for 30 days.
It's true. Taco Bell apparently offers something called the taco lover's pass,
which is coincidentally also what the news headline will read when people
inevitably die from eating Taco Bell every day for a month.
Subscriptions are now basically everywhere, and many of us don't even
realize how much we spend on them. As one survey found Americans paid more
than twice what they thought they did for monthly subscriptions, and nearly
half report they still pay for one that they'd forgotten about or didn't use.
And look, I am not saying that this is the biggest problem that we face in the
world right now. That's obviously a three-way tie between the war in Iran,
diarrhea lettuce, and what's happening in the donut industry. Guys, we're doing
too much. Fruit loops?
On a donut?
The option should be icing... sprinkled, and that is it. Donuts don't need a
special toppings bar. They're donuts.
They're not frozen yogurt. Now, she needs help. She needs lipstick, a push
-up bra, and as many crumbled up M&Ms as you can shovel on her. But donuts are a
natural beauty. Leave them be.
But subscriptions are a universally annoying problem, and they are something
that people do love to yell about.
There are so many hard things in life. Why is canceling a subscription one of
them? And I'm talking to you, Paramount+. I'm talking to you.
Canceling my SiriusXM almost broke my fucking brain.
In the how-to, it says, hey, how to end your subscription.
go to end subscription button but it doesn't exist then I had to chat to the
chatbot and I didn't have time to chat to the chatbot all I wanted to do was
cancel my subscription I didn't even have manners all I said is cancel my
subscription hi um please just give us a few details cancel my subscription
please let us know how can we keep you cancel my
That is just an excellent use of TikTok, because I do think we need an outlet
where we can vent about daily annoyances, especially given that
priests must be tired of hearing it by now. Do you have something you'd like to
confess, my child? Yeah, why are mobile orders that came through after in
-restaurant orders prepared first? Tell me that, God, is bullshit!
So given all that, tonight let's talk about subscriptions.
How out of hand they're getting, the tricks companies use to lock you into
them, and one simple solution that could give consumers at least some power back.
And let's start by acknowledging that certain things, like newspapers, have
long had a subscription component. But the internet has made it much easier to
apply a subscription model to basically everything. And I do mean everything.
From the Apocabox, which sends you doomsday prep supplies, to Bonebox,
which I'll let this YouTuber tell you about.
this is the bone box and it comes from skulls unlimited and yes it is what you
might think it is it is a box bones this is a 30 mystery box it does contain a
skull now they had two not human they do have two tiers it's a 30 one and here is
the skull so that is an american minx Okay, I'll be honest. I didn't think you
were talking about human skulls there until you quickly said not human and now
I'm just not so sure
But it's not just boxes of bones people subscribe to. It's also how many of us
consume media nowadays. You can get subscriptions for books and for music
and for TV and movies. And all of that is the end result of a much larger shift
that started in the late 90s, when Netflix launched its DVD rental
subscription service and companies like Salesforce pioneered a cloud-based
subscription model for software, or what we now call software as a service, with
Adobe and Microsoft soon following them. And before long...
Any product or service that could be repackaged as a subscription started
becoming one. Even appliances and devices that you used to be able to buy
and own outright started becoming smart products with a subscription component.
You can now find this model used in everything from baby alarm clocks, to
smoke alarms, to light bulbs, to even litter boxes.
Perfect for anyone who's ever thought, I wish there was a way to make it more
expensive for my cat to take a shit.
And the auto industry in particular has started leaning into subscriptions hard.
$8 a month for remote start on certain Toyotas, $20 a month for BMW's enhanced
cruise control.
Hands-free cruise control sure is nice, but are you willing to pay $75 a month
for it? So if your car payment is $600 a month, it's now $675.
General Motors expects subscriptions to bring in as much as $25 billion a year
by 2030, just under what?
Netflix earned last year.
Part of me says, though, well, you've already bought the hardware, so, you
know, just let me use it.
Yeah, GM plans to eventually rake in, from subscriptions alone, revenue
comparable to that of Netflix.
Which is shocking, given that GM, unlike Netflix, doesn't even offer you the
chance to see LA's most Botoxed realtors wearing the least practical outfits you
have ever seen. Their skin is on display, their shoes are legally stilts,
and there is simply no way for them to pee until they get home.
And sometimes you might not even realize that you're buying a product with a
subscription component until after the fact. For instance, HP now sells
printers with a subscription service called Instant Ink. And just watch the
nasty surprise that this woman got when her new printer's free trial expired.
I went to print like a packing label or something, and it just wouldn't print at
all. And I couldn't, there's no message on my computer that was explaining it.
And the reason it's not printing says, payment method needs updating.
You cannot print with the installed cartridge.
As you can see, this page is printed fine.
That's infuriating. I would be so mad if I'm trying to print something out and my
printer keeps printing out a page that says I can't print and won't print.
Maggie's printer still had ink in it when it stopped working.
It turns out that when your instant ink subscription expires, or if you cancel
it, HP remotely kills your cartridges.
Yeah, that's pretty annoying, isn't it? She understandably assumed she owned the
ink that came with her printer, but suddenly she couldn't use it. Which does
feel like a waste, although I'll tell you one purchase that she made that
definitely wasn't a waste there, and I think we all know what it is. Say it
with me, everyone.
The nails, honey, that's right. Look at the colour combo, the design, the shape,
my God, the shape.
It's like a junior stiletto with a whiff of almonds. Nails like that tell me
three things about that woman. She's got taste, she's got style, and she doesn't
fuck around.
A person with those nails does not make decisions lightly. I am positive. If she
knew signing up for that subscription would give HP remote control of her ink
cartridges, she'd have said to them what I assume she says to anyone asking her
to open a can of soda.
Sorry, that is someone else's journey, not mine.
But as irritating as that is, there's an obvious reason companies love this
model. As HP's CEO told investors, we make more money per customer when
they're in the subscription program.
And that money is consistent, recurring revenue.
But the benefits for companies don't even stop there. And subscriptions also
give them access to a shit ton of data about you. In fact, here's a former
Salesforce executive who now runs a company that helps businesses manage
their subscription services, laying out his pitch to clients.
What you really need to do is you really need to think of what is it that you're
really after.
Companies like Whirlpool or GE, they really only deal with their customers
once every seven years or so when they buy a new product.
And so these manufacturers are realizing we're in like 70% of the households in
the U.S., and we should be able to collect information about people and
understand what do they do, how often do they eat, how often do they go cooking,
how often do they use their microwave, how often do they wash their clothes,
and think about a whole different service.
Imagine instead of having a washing machine, it's a smart washing machine.
It knows how often you're using it. When you run out of detergent, detergent
simply shows up in the mail. It knows that you just had a child, so you're
going to be using it more often. It actually adjusts to your needs.
That is so unsettling to me.
No company needs to know I had a child. There is a reason that you start birth
announcements with dear family and friends and not to whom it may concern
at the Whirlpool Corporation.
And it's also just unnecessary. If you want to know if someone's had a kid,
there are way more obvious clues than them washing more clothes. How about,
are their eyes hollow? Do they look like they're taking at most two showers a
week? Do they spend the one hour a day they get to themselves watching beach
games in a catatonic state?
Does a barista getting their coffee order wrong elicit steel magnolias-level
sobs? Are they wearing a backpack in a restaurant?
Those are all easy ways to spot a new parent that crucially don't involve
spying on them through their fucking washing machine.
Now, obviously, there is a pretty simple solution for you here. Don't buy these
smart products. And if you don't want a subscription anymore, just cancel it.
But while that is easy to say, cancelling can be way harder to pull off
in practice, and for a few key reasons. First, let's admit, as a species, people
can just forget.
In fact, any time subscriptions get covered on the news, someone invariably
offers a confession like this.
Guys, this is so funny because yesterday I realized that my gym account has been
charging me twice every month for the past like four months. Well, I forgot
that I was subscribed to Apple TV. I made this list and I realized that three
or four of the services I had, I had just not used in years. One of them
being an e-fax service. Am I on national television right now that I had a fax
service?
Look, I am trying not to be judgmental here, but you didn't know you were
paying for an e-fax service for years? I think it genuinely might be less
embarrassing to admit that you wrote in Jill Stein in the 2020 election.
I would rather stand outside the Today Show and hold up a sign reading, people
were wrong about Madam Webb, than admit something like that.
But the thing is...
Sometimes it's less people forgetting they had a subscription and more of them
not realising that they'd signed up for one in the first place.
Which can be easy to do. Maybe you signed up for a bundle. So you subscribe
to, say, Lift Pink, and they threw in a year of Grubhub Plus. And you didn't
realise that after a year, Grubhub Plus automatically converts into a paid
subscription. Companies have gotten very good at making it incredibly easy to
sign up for subscriptions often by employing what are called dark patents,
which I know sounds like the title of Jeremy Renner's next album of song-like
sounds mistakes.
But it's actually a term describing companies using deceptive design choices
to manipulate you into making decisions you might not have intended.
Take Amazon Prime, which in addition to offering free shipping, also provides
access to some of the best shows that only your dad watches.
Prime has been a massive success for Amazon. It's the main driver behind the
more than $44 billion Amazon made on subscriptions last year. But a few years
back, the company got into big trouble after the FTC claimed that it had used a
variety of dark patterns to trick people into signing up for Prime, with this
reporter describing just one of them.
So originally, Amazon Prime was $99 a year. It's up to $149 a year now. But
let's show you real fast here. So, like, you put something in your cart. You go
to the payment page. You click the yellow button as you go to process your
way through the checkout.
This is the payment page. We forward one page here. What you get is when you go
to checkout, you get a pop-up. And instead of the yellow button that you
would have been clicking all the way to just kind of proceed as normal.
All of a sudden, the sign up for Amazon button is the yellow one now, and the
proceed as normal button is not.
Yeah, that's pretty sneaky.
And it is easy to see how someone could fall for that, particularly if they
speak English as a second language, or are older and a little less tech savvy,
or they can't read at all. The point is, it sure seems like Amazon was being
deliberately confusing there. In fact, a former Amazon employee literally told
reporters, quote, we have been deliberately confusing.
And not only are there internal Amazon documents stating the issue of
accidental Prime sign-ups is well documented, but in several cases, fixes
for these issues were actually proposed and considered, but because they
resulted in lower subscription growth when tested, they were shelved by
executives. Because, of course they were.
But while companies clearly go out of their way to make it incredibly easy to
subscribe, they can make cancelling a fucking nightmare.
Take LA Fitness. You can sign up for a membership there online.
But as the FTP pointed out last year, handling it was a lot harder.
The FTC says LA Fitness and its sister brands didn't just make canceling
memberships difficult, they made it nearly impossible.
The agency accuses the gym's parent companies of forcing some consumers
through a maze of red tape.
Some had to print long forms requiring long-forgotten login credentials, while
others had to show up in person and speak with a specific manager who was
often unavailable. In some cases, people were required to send certified mail
just to cancel, and even after some members contacted their banks to stop
payments, They allege the companies continue to charge them, sometimes under
new account numbers.
Yeah, that is ridiculous. Look, to be fair, gyms have made it hard to cancel
memberships for years now. It is so well known, it was literally a subplot on an
episode of Friends.
It was actually one of the more relatable scenarios that gang found
themselves in, with perhaps the least relatable being when Joey met Prince
Andrew's ex-wife Fergie and didn't ask her what she knew and when.
But nowadays, every... Everything feels like a gym membership, and companies can
use some of the same dark patterns that got you into a subscription to confuse
you when you're trying to get out of it. To give you just one example, take
HelloFresh. Until recently, here's what you had to do to cancel your
subscription. You'd go to your account page, and then have to scroll down to
the bottom, where you'd find a bolded Pause My Deliveries button, and a less
obvious Cancel one. If you hit Cancel, it took you to a page listing all the
benefits of subscribing with a bolded button to stay subscribed,
highlighted cancel button but let's say you hit cancel again at that point you'd
have to tell them why you're cancelling by clicking one of a number of reasons
you could not proceed unless you'd picked one and then it would take you to
a page offering you a fix for that complaint with again a highlighted
button to stay subscribed and an unhighlighted cancel anyway box and if
you clicked on that box it would finally cancel your subscription while also
after you've gotten used to clicking unhighlighted buttons to keep cancelling
an unhighlighted one to undo the fucking cancellation.
And look, you might be thinking, well, look, if you just pay attention and read
what you're clicking on, you should be fine. But here's the thing. Pay
attention and read are two very difficult things to ask of the entire
population all the time.
And companies are banking on that. And it is by no means just HelloFresh. In
fact, in the same lawsuit where the FTC accused Amazon of tricking people into
signing up for Prime, it pointed out just how hard they made it for you to
undo that mistake.
It also claims Amazon made it very difficult to navigate cancelling a Prime
subscription. With a four-page, six-click and 15-option process, the FTC
says Amazon called Iliad after the nearly 16,000-line ancient poem.
Yeah, that's pretty telling, isn't it? You don't name something the Iliad
because it's easy to get through.
You do that because it's a dense slog that makes you want to kill yourself.
If you wanted a literary shorthand for something easy to get through and
obvious to figure out, you'd name it The Da Vinci Code, remember?
The answer to the riddle is Apple. Don't worry, that's only a spoiler if you're a
complete idiot.
Amazon! Ultimately settled that case for $2.5 billion and had to make changes to
its process. Though it still denies it ever tried to deceive Prime members. And
sure. But again, Amazon is not alone.
Uber, Match, Vonage and Shutterstock have all faced similar lawsuits. And
some companies will go even further to trap you in subscriptions.
Adobe. for instance, have made it a practice to charge a hefty early
termination fee to end subscriptions. But as the FTC put it, they hid the
relevant details in fine print and behind optional text boxes and
hyperlinks, and they...
definitely knew what they were doing, given in internal emails one employee
wrote there'd be absolutely no way to kill off that early termination fee or
talk about it more obviously without taking a big business hit. And that the
fee was a bit like heroin for a Toby.
Which isn't good.
Describing anything as a bit like heroin is bad.
Even if it is something harmless. If you described your boyfriend's obsession
with basketball player Luka Doncic as a bit like heroin...
I'd tell you to dump him and I'd tell him to get a real personality. And that
is me being polite. Because if you asked me after I'd had a few Cosmos, I'd tell
you to stop choosing men that ignore you like your father. But we all know you're
not ready to hear that.
And while Adobe and other companies will rationalise all of this with just giving
customers greater flexibility and convenience, it is clear people are fed
up with this.
Frustration with subscriptions may be the one remaining thing that actually
unifies all of us across party lines, which is incredible.
As it seems, we can't even agree on simple things nowadays, like Super Bowl
performers or which Pokemon would be the most delicious.
And I know what you're thinking.
I know what you're thinking.
Gyarados or a Magikarp, something like that, maybe Psyduck. But the very fact
that you're not even open to ditto is why this is such a point of discussion.
So what can we do here? Well, there's stuff that you can do on a personal
level. You can check your bank accounts for recurring charges on iPhones. If you
go into settings, tap your name and then subscriptions, you can see everything
you subscribe to via the App Store. There's actually a similar feature on
Android. Also, try not to sign up for any free trials without setting a
reminder to cancel them. And if you've been paying for an e-fax service for
years, just throw your phone into a river. You can't be trusted with it
anymore.
But it shouldn't just be on individuals to have to fight all this bullshit. And
there's actually a policy solution that would fix a bunch of what you've seen
tonight. And it was pushed by Biden's head of the FTC, Lina Khan. It's called
Click to Cancel. And when you hear it described, it sounds pretty reasonable.
Under this new click to cancel rule, canceling must be quick and easy. So if
you signed up online, there needs to be a click to cancel option.
So if you signed up in person, the FTC will require the option to cancel over
the phone.
or online now the ftc also says companies must make information easy to
find before obtaining your billing information and consumers must be
informed of what they're agreeing to before signing up right that sounds
pretty good doesn't it and it's kind of shocking that we even needed the
government to require that If Starbucks announced a new company policy to
display bagels are not to be used for anything other than eating, I'd have a
lot of questions about why that wasn't already a rule to start with.
But unfortunately, last summer, just days before Clinton Council was supposed
to take effect, it was voided by one of the most conservative federal courts on
procedural grounds. And while Trump's FTC has hinted they might draft their
own rule, we'll see what that looks like, or if it even happens.
And I should say, some states have enacted their own protections.
California was one of the first to do that, and just this year, both Virginia
and Louisiana passed their own versions of Click to Cancel. Meanwhile, New York
City has a version taking effect here in October. In fact, if you live somewhere
without good protections and are struggling to cancel a subscription...
One thing some people have said works is simply changing your location to
California, as that can apparently sometimes force the service to offer you
a click-to-cancel option. But obviously, pretend to live in California should not
be the system here.
And for the last time, I do know subscriptions are not the most pressing
issue in the world right now, because that would be war, poop, and pick-me
-donuts. Remember, we all agreed on that.
But it is frustrating that there is a tantalisingly easy fix to a ubiquitous
problem within reach, and we can't seem to have it.
It's honestly incredibly rare that we end up discussing a story on this show
where the solution is simply, there should just be a button for that.
But when it comes to subscriptions, we could actually have one of those buttons
that you could push once, and it would fix your problem, and it would instantly
improve people's lives more than I'm comfortable admitting right now.
So I'd argue companies should give us that fucking button. And if they won't,
they should be forced to.
And look, that is me being polite.
Because if you ask me after a couple of Cosmos, I'd say they should try
redirecting all the energy they put into developing labyrinthine systems to trap
their customers into making products or services people actually want to keep
buying. But we all know they're not ready for that conversation.
And now, this.
And now, highlights from over the years of the Iowa State Fair's Husband Calling
Contest.
That's our show. Thanks so much for watching. We're off in the next few
weeks, back September 20th. Good night!
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