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I think I'm falling in love with someone else.

I don't even know if it's anything.

We haven't...

I haven't. I...

I wanted to talk to you first.

Okay.

I still love you.

Okay.

Do you want me to move out?

No, I love living with you.

Do you want me to move out?

This is your house.

It's our house.

I love living with you too.

So...

What, what do you want to do?

I guess I'm just asking for your permission

to see where this goes.

Okay.

Let's see where this goes.

Do you hate me?

I love you as much as ever.

♪ French inhale ♪

♪ French inhale ♪

You're up next. One minute.

Hey, it's my favorite band, The Talking Heads.

You're up next, one minute.

I just said that. - Suzo just said that.

Oh yeah. Well, just checking if you girls

know how to tell the time. You do? Okay, great.

You should have his job.

Whatever. He'll die desperate and alone,

choking on his last Viagra.

In five,

four,

three, two, one.

You're up.

I'm Sonny Lee. This is Max Music.

Next up, Rexdale and Lawrence Heights represent,

Ghetto Concept and Crazy World.

♪ That's acting shady ♪

♪ Show love to the ghetto that raised me ♪

♪ Now I look out for my... ♪

♪ Look out, it's the dawn of a new year ♪

My birth control expired.

I didn't know it could do that.

We haven't had sex in so long, my birth control expired.

Yeah, I noticed.

I didn't.

What?

Your shirt, it's enormous.

It's a mens small.

Well, you're not a small man. It's okay, it's cute.

It makes you look like you're not wearing pants.

Hey, I made you something.

It's an old copy of 'The Happy Prince' by Oscar Wilde.

I painted over the cover.

Thank you.

I gotta go.

Oh, do you want me to come with you?

Nah. The last time we went out,

you just ended up in a corner, reading a book.

Well, I enjoy going out with you. I always do.

It's okay, I'll be back soon.

Hey, mystic muffin.

I like your shirt.

No one feels good when his girlfriend starts falling

for some other guy.

Well, I didn't say I feel good, but I don't feel bad.

It's what Sonny wants, and I'm willing to go along with it.

Maybe you don't really love her.

I love Sonny.

She's the best girlfriend I've ever had.

You've only had two other girlfriends.

Hmm.

Well, she's the best of the three.

And I think it shows how much we trust each other

that we can talk about this.

It'll never work.

Yeah, Sonny has access.

Access?

To sex. Women have greater access to sex.

Bad sex.

Good or bad, you have access.

What you need is a plan. You're not exactly social.

What will you do to compete?

Well, it's not a competition.

Wait till she starts having sex,

then your jealousy will really set in.

You'll hear them fucking.

He's not gonna be actively listening, taking notes.

You're not, right?

Maybe you should.

How will you have sex?

How do you get sex, Cain?

Well, I'm sensitive, I'm a terrific listener--

Dad shit.

Excuse me?

They'll only fuck you if they have crazy daddy issues.

That is such an unfair byproduct of the patriarchy.

Sorry, what?

When men have mom shit, they strangle 15 co-eds.

When women have dad shit,

they date guys in Fedoras who make them feel stupid.

What about girls with mom shit?

They date musicians.

Hey, Mo.

It's late.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to wake you.

I couldn't sleep.

Hmm.

I can't.

I am just, I feel like because of Miles...

It's complicated.

I thought we were trying an open relationship.

I know I want to, but...

I wish I was...

more open.

That's fine, I understand.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry. I'm not sorry.

We should get some sleep.

Okay. Goodnight, Chester.

Goodnight.

Watch your step there.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

I'm fine.

You can let go, I can handle it.

Okay.

Oh my god!

That doesn't look comfortable.

That'll be comfortable.

Let me fix it.

No, you don't have to do that.

Please, I want to.

What's all this?

Water.

And this?

That's the date I refilled it.

You've gotta get rid of these.

They're taking up too much space.

No, just leave them.

Remember when the water main broke

and the city shut off our water?

Yeah, for like a day.

Are you stockpiling for the end of the world?

Oh, my aim is so good!

I'm going to get you!

You must have been emotionally devastated.

I'm fine, you know.

Listening to them, it felt like I'd conquered

something negative in me.

You know, it's perfectly natural to feel jealousy

in a situation like that.

Jealousy isn't natural.

It's learned behavior.

Go ahead and continue suppressing those emotions.

Chester Brown?

I love you. I just love you.

Thank you.

I'm fine.

Could you sign this for me?

Don't be stupid.

How's your line been?

Mediocre.

Don't lie to me. - Long, it's been long.

I've written more books than you.

I know.

Porn stars have longer lines than me.

Porn stars?

That's Mandy Mulling.

She's not a porn star, she's a centerfold.

Whatever. Go get a picture, if you want.

Nah, I'm not that desperate.

It's only 50 bucks.

50 bucks is a lot of money just for a hug.

I would rather you sign this for me.

Chester, it's a comp.

We always give each other our books.

With the money you save, throw in another 50

and you could hire a prostitute.

A lot of guys do it the wrong way.

Start by standing tall, muscles engaged.

Squeeze the crap out of the dumbbell.

Squeeze hard, come right back down.

Increase your punch power.

You whack, and it's one knuckle

that slaps the bone.

Oh, Chet, hey.

Sorry, man, did I wake you?

No.

Oh, I bet I did. You're just being polite.

Also. I got you a burrito last night.

It's in the fridge.

Oh, thanks.

Look, I know that this shit is dumb,

but I fucking love it.

You wanna try?

No. I'm--

Oh, come on. I'll let you kick me in the crotch.

Oh, I don't--

I'm kidding. Come on, man.

No, I'm--

Come on, Chester.

No, it's, it's fine.

Yeah, come on, let's go.

It's a great way to start the day.

Okay, so I want you to follow me.

This, this is called the root down position.

Okay.

Generate more power with each kick.

Alright, I want your shoulders a little wider.

Bend your knees. There you go.

Spread your legs a little.

Yeah.

All right, and now we kick like motherfuckers.

More pivots.

Welcome to Monday, Max Music Heads.

Sonny, welcoming you with my snot rag.

If you suffer from seasonal allergies,

be sure to eat a lot of these,

oranges and kiwis, chalk full of vitamin C.

Just spread your legs a bit.

Do you still have that Jules Arrows book?

Yeah.

Can I borrow it? - Sure.

Where's Miles?

Says that he's at home sick.

Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah. I'm gonna go over and see if he's okay.

That'd be nice.

Then we'll see how sick he really is.

Sonny!

Dude, I didn't think that you'd care.

Dear Jules, I'm a 30-year-old virgin,

overweight straight guy.

I'm incredibly scared about putting myself out there.

I just don't know where to begin.

Dear 30-year-old Virgin,

Off the top of my head, hire an escort

through a reputable escort agency

or find one who works independently.

Search her reviews on established review sites.

Be totally honest about your inexperience.

Ask her what her hourly rate is.

Do not attempt to negotiate a price.

110 for half, 160 for the full hour.

Okay. Uh, could you describe yourself, please?

I'm very attractive.

Five six, a hundred and twenty pounds,

35 C, 24-36. I'm 28 years old.

Uh, uh, 28?

Yeah.

Okay. Uh, thank you, bye.

I'm beautiful, blonde, very sensuous.

Five-three, 36D, 25-37.

135 pounds.

Um, and how much do you charge?

A hundred for half, 1 5 0 for the full hour.

I see. That's a little pricey for me.

Okay, thank you for your time.

Make an appointment to meet in a safe,

mutually agreeable location.

Display your money, the agreed upon amount,

and place it clearly on a nightstand or table.

She'll know what to do.

Be respectful, l et her lead.

Use condoms, and tip the lady.

Come to 386 Sherwin, go through the iron gate.

The entry code is 5 8 3 6.

We're the first door on the right.

There's a locked door with a number pad.

Press 5 6 1 2, then go to apartment 306.

Oh, hang on, hang on. That's too many numbers.

5 6 1 2.

Apartment 306.

5 6 1 2, 306.

Okay, I got it. Thank you.

Hi.

My name is Steve.

Money, please.

Oh, yes, sorry.

Thanks. Make yourself comfortable.

I'll be right back.

Would you like to start with a massage?

Would you wanna start with a massage?

Do you want to massage me?

No, but I understand I should let you lead.

Is this your first time?

Yes, it is.

Steve, this is about what you want.

What do you want?

I wanna have vaginal intercourse with you.

Okay.

Oh, my goodness.

What would you like?

Me on the bottom?

Anything.

Uh.

Steve, are you okay?

I'm all done.

Oh, great.

Oh.

Whoa, that's a generous tip.

You're an angel.

We just moved, and that eats up a lot of money.

This will really come in handy.

Well, I was totally happy with the whole experience.

You look happy.

I am happy.

I love it when you're happy.

I just saw a prostitute.

Why?

Well, exploring new methods of intimacy.

Couldn't you wait to meet someone you like

who likes you? I mean, that's what people normally do.

Well, I don't want to be in another relationship.

I, I thought the whole point was for us to, you know,

try new things and--

Yeah, no, I mean, yes.

I'm glad you're having fun.

Um, are you gonna do it again?

Yes.

Um, then can I ask you a favor?

Sure.

Never bring them here.

Okay.

Miles and I broke up.

Oh no.

Just me, buddy, excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Don't be, I made a real fool of myself.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Okay, nothing.

Thanks. Now tell me more details.

Let's see. Um, she was so nice.

I only brought one book with me.

I didn't want to bring my backpack.

Didn't want that to be strange.

It turned out really well.

Remember this?

She must think we're idiots.

I wonder if she thinks we're silly giant dogs.

You guys have a lint brush?

Hi, I'm Anne.

Come on in.

Did you do anything before this?

I used to work at a massage parlor, but I hated it.

Massage parlor, or a rub and tug.

A rub and tug. - Hmm.

You still have to give these massages

that really hurt my hands, and I don't know,

I like this better.

Less work, more money.

Oh.

This is all extra.

Thanks, Steve.

Also, I wanted to give you this, brought this,

it's uh, it's what I do.

Wow. You make comics. That's so cool.

You must have a great imagination.

When I started paying for sex, I used a fake name.

That's my real name.

Chester Brown.

Who's this? Louis Ry--

Louis Riel, the 19th century Metis leader

who led two rebellions against the Canadian government.

You probably learned about him in history class.

So is this like a funny version?

No, it's serious.

Well, I have something to read later.

You okay?

Yeah, just running outta sperm.

It's so fucking expensive.

If this one doesn't take, I--

You could adopt.

Yeah. I mean, that's more expensive.

Plus there's the whole lesbian thing.

Even now, now, and probably forever.

I'm sorry.

You know, Chester might give you some sperm.

Chester is so agreeable, he'd give me his kidney

and I've only met the guy like three times.

Would someone get that?

Guys, can one of you please?

Hello?

Tell her it's the wrong number.

I asked you to do one thing. Why is that so hard for you?

I don't know. Maybe you wanted to talk to her.

My mom is like a Chinese fighting fish.

She kills anyone else in the tank.

Okay.

There are boundaries. I have to set boundaries.

Okay, okay. I get it. You don't wanna talk to her!

Here, then don't!

Fuck.

Sorry.

Listening to them argue is very unpleasant.

Ugh, I do not see the attraction.

I do, the guys built like the Michaelangelo statue.

A lot of women like that.

We're taught that passion involves objects

flying at your head. It's easy to confuse passion

with being treated like shit.

I would give anything for a flying object in my head.

Oh, please, Cecil.

You know, our collective sympathy for you

has long been depleted.

I was supposed to be next.

I've gone without sex longer than Chester. You cheated.

Well, it's not like I butted in line in front of you.

Yeah, it is. You can't play a heart

until the first heart's been broken.

I just left the line you're in, the free sex line,

and I walked over to the paying for sex line,

which you could do too. It moves a lot faster.

There is no way I am paying for sex.

The disease factor alone is too scary.

Yes, plus you're too cheap.

It's not expensive. I budgeted it out.

Based on what I paid Anne, plus tip,

I could afford to see someone 17 times a year.

I spent more than that on Sonny last year

and we didn't have sex anywhere close to 17 times.

Yes, and you're referring to the child

you're currently exploiting?

Anne is not a child, she's 21.

She's very warm, she's very nice.

I gave her one of my comics.

Why does she know you are a cartoonist?

Why are you talking to her at all?

This is just supposed to be for sex.

You're not supposed to talk to her.

Getting to know each other adds to the experience,

makes it seem less cold and more intimate.

If you ask me, if you'd like an experience that's less cold

and more intimate, you should try getting a girlfriend.

Okay. You got, you can't play a heart

until the first heart's been broken.

Unbelievable.

You are so quiet.

It's hard to tell if you're finished.

There's another girl who works here, Amanda.

It's cool if you wanna see her.

What's she like?

She's pretty, she has big breasts.

She got a boob job.

Hmm.

I'm not a big fan of fake breasts.

You're never gonna get implants, are you?

I've thought about it.

I hate the way mine look.

They're perfect.

Most guys like big boobs.

Well, I like yours.

Then book another appointment.

Do you work in the evenings?

I only work in the afternoons.

At night, guys are drunk. They're the worst.

Them and guys with big dicks.

I wish all my clients were like you.

Fuck!

Gonna wake the fucker up!

Oh!

Fuck!

No kissing on the mouth,

no digging for gold,

no dining at the Y,

no water sports, no body slides,

no hugging,

and we use condoms for everything,

including blowjobs.

Understood?

Agreed.

It's a very thorough inspection.

You can never be too careful.

No, of course.

I think it's great that you and Anne share clients.

Oh yeah, she says you're nice.

Oh really? Oh, that's really kind of her.

How long have you been here?

A few months. I convinced her to leave the rub and tug

so we could go into business together.

All clear.

What do you wanna do?

Have sex?

Can I get you guys something to drink?

Coffee.

Alright. Arabica, Robusta?

I don't care.

I have to ask.

First one.

Be right back with your drinks.

Hey, folks. Are you having a beautiful day?

'Cause I am.

I'm quitting Max Music.

I'm starting my own production company.

Ramona's pregnant.

Suzo!

I gotta get my shit together.

You're gonna be such good moms.

What are you doing here?

I have an appointment with Anne.

No, you have to leave. We're done.

Wait, what happened?

The cops came by.

They asked to speak to the boss, we don't have a boss.

They arrest you?

No, they wrecked everything and they took our money.

Where's Anne?

She's on hiatus.

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Uh...

if you see her, could you give her this?

Right.

What the fuck are you doing?!

Are you a fucking child?!

What the fuck's your problem, Sonny?

Carl!

Ches.

Hey, hey!

Carl and I got into a fight.

He hates it when his hair gets wet.

Get's frizzy.

He threw him Mo across the room in her box.

She could've died.

It's a good thing you're still quick on your feet, Mo.

He's gone.

I think that's probably for the best.

Amorous, glamorous.

Is this too much?

Um, well, it is an Amorous Glamorous sponsorship,

so you're supposed to look like you're amorous

and glamorous.

It looks like I have a vagina on my face.

Hmm.

♪ You talk a little too much about love ♪

Very boy band.

V.I.P. going out to Jordy.

This is Max Music on Demand.

Uh, we have Callie from Oshawa on the line.

Hi, Callie.

Hi, Sonny.

How are you, Callie?

I'm good. How are you?

Well, just sitting here trying to mitigate

a profound sense of ennui,

you know, just trying to create something,

anything actually, that isn't vapid and self-serving,

and failing. Just failing.

But, you know, that's fine. Failure is fine.

How are you coping?

I just wanted to hear New York City by Cub.

♪ You called me last night ♪

♪ On the telephone ♪

♪ And I was glad to hear from you ♪

♪ 'Cause I was all alone ♪

Hi.

Are you Tina?

Yep.

Come on in.

Would I rather be stuck in my hometown,

or stuck in a forest forever?

Well, I think I'd like to be stuck in a forest forever.

At least like, you know, you're in nature, and I like nature.

My hometown feels like

where they would shoot horror movies, you know?

And like the Black people die in the horror flick.

Like, I wouldn't make it out.

Well, now I don't even feel like I have a home.

I mean, I know you've been here longer,

but I sometimes feel like this place is my home.

Sit down.

You're not a cop, are you?

No, are you a cop?

No.

Great.

Okay.

I don't think I can do this.

Why not?

I, I just don't wanna stay.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

We're in a house of powerful people

and sometimes men come on my chest.

I like your optimism.

Oh.

Don't be afraid, we're just women here.

What type of lady or service are you looking for?

Oh, I can choose anyone.

Of course.

Um, you?

Angelina.

You don't have to.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Uh, I'm definitely gonna wanna see you again.

It's Angelina, right? I'm Chester.

I think it was really lucky, us meeting today.

You know, 'cause I mean, you never know

what type of guy is walking in here.

And I never know exactly what kind of situation

I'm walking into.

So, yeah, I think it was really nice.

What do you think?

Maybe she's a sex slave.

Just 'cause she didn't speak English?

The brothel was run in an egalitarian way,

not by sex traffickers.

Uh-huh.

Look, if I thought she was a sex slave,

I would try to help her.

Did you ask her?

Well, she didn't speak English.

Why do you always go for gorgeous young women,

and not someone more mature?

Why do you never date Asian guys?

People have their types.

You know I was in love with Tory Takashi.

He wasn't into me. He said I was like his sister.

I would be totally fine being with a more mature woman.

I'm just saying when I can't see the photo,

the odds of finding someone attractive are higher

with a younger person.

Coming from a pasty white guy, that's fucking ridiculous.

I mean, she is right. You are old.

And pasty.

And strangely fragile, like a baby bird.

And honestly, I'm shocked that you're not tired

by this lifestyle. It's sad.

Don't feel sad for me. I feel great.

I answer to no one, I'm enjoying myself.

Don't you think it's sad for her?

I don't know.

I don't know how she feels about it.

Some women like it, some don't.

For others, it's no different than you doing

a commercial art illustration.

Yes, well, I hate that I have to make illustrations for money.

I don't understand why you don't want, like, a real relationship.

Romantic love is bullshit,

and I'm not wasting any more time chasing it.

Alright, touchy, touchy.

Romance is for people who are insecure,

who need to feel that they're lovable or good looking,

or at least nice.

You're not saying that everyone in a romantic relationship

suffers from a fragile ego, are you?

I suppose they could be in it for other reasons.

There are other reasons.

Well, how would you know?

You haven't been in anything lasting longer

than eight months.

Now see here--

And Cecil, you're a chronic masturbator.

Huh?

Laura.

Yes?

I can't think of anything bad to say about you.

Yeah.

Of course you can't think of anything bad to say about her,

she hasn't had sex with you.

You know, you idolize women that won't have sex with you,

and you look down on the ones that do

because you secretly hate yourself.

I learned that in therapy.

You're projecting.

Uh, no, no, no. It's, it's fine. We, we all hate ourselves.

I don't hate myself.

I think I respect myself quite a bit.

Yeah, you're right, you are pretty arrogant.

I must be completely honest with you.

I must be completely frank with you.

I must be completely frank with you.

You okay?

Nervous.

It's my first movie.

Well, you'd never know it.

You're a natural.

Scene 83 Alpha, take one.

Action.

Oh.

Oh.

Why do you keep stopping?

I don't know.

It's starting to hurt, you know.

Oh, I'm sorry. Um, should we use some more lubricant?

No, it's fine. Just, just keep going.

Okay.

I, I can't finish.

Ugh.

Hi, I'm looking for Angelina.

I'm Angelina.

The other Angelina?

Oh, Angelina quit.

Now that was a good movie.

They don't make films like that anymore.

I mean, it was beautiful.

Long, really long.

Oh, it wasn't that long,

you just have a short attention span.

It was over three hours.

That's how long films used to be.

It used to be a transformative experience.

A three hour transformation?

Sonny, I say this with love.

I've noticed it's hard for you to focus.

You're so distracted.

I think it's your job, all that content, the pace.

Life is like an electrical outlet.

You need to be careful what you plug your energy into.

You need to get grounded.

I think I might need more than that.

Are you Chester?

Yes, I'm Chester.

Were you waiting long?

Two hours.

Sorry, I was having problems with my landlord.

Can I have the money now?

I have to pay the desk clerk.

Shit, I forgot condoms.

There's a pharmacy up the street, I'll be right back.

No.

Read this.

"Forks Out?"

It's culinary.

No, thank you. I've changed my mind.

I'm just gonna go home.

Are you sure I can't do anything for you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Gimme a call in a few days. I owe you one, okay?

Yeah, yeah.

♪ You talk a little too much about love ♪

Rick?

No.

I can't do it anymore.

I can't take another manufactured boy band

or corporate sponsorship.

Ugh.

Live, unscripted, rock and roll television is dead.

I'm done.

Well, you know, it's a shame you're quitting

because I really wanted to fire you.

But good luck out there.

♪ Like I knew that you would come to me ♪

♪ And we'd run away with all our dreams ♪

♪ But it's so cool that we're together ♪

♪ And we're smiling, drinking soda ♪

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to make an appointment, please.

I'd be happy to see you, but I only work out calls.

Out call?

I come to you.

I, I've never done out call.

It's up to you.

Could you do right now? We'd have to be quick.

Hi.

I'm Yulissa.

That's a lot of water.

Oh, uh...

You must be thirsty.

Could I offer you a pop or a juice?

I'll have a pop.

This is weird.

What?

Snuggling. Kind of forgotten what it feels like.

Do you always kiss your clients?

Not always.

Out call's more expensive, so I threw in a few extras.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No, and I don't want one.

Romantic love is not a good thing.

Don't you wanna live in a world

where people care about each other?

Sure, romantic love and real love,

there's a difference between the two.

Romance wants you to own someone,

and that's the same as slavery.

It's a bit much.

Slavery is forced on people. Love is a choice.

Yeah, but they come from the same root.

I've felt jealous and possessive of my girlfriends,

but I've never felt that way about my friends.

I don't feel that way about you.

I know you have other clients.

Yeah, but some couples are just right for each other.

It depends on the chemistry.

Yeah, but they change over time.

You know, relationships are too much work.

I don't want to have to work that hard.

If I met the right person, I'd be happy to do the work.

What about sex work?

Oh, that I wanna be paid for.

You're Chester Brown.

I read your last book.

Did you like it?

Most of it.

It was sweet and sad.

Writing from your own life.

I could relate to how difficult it was for you

to talk to people when you were a teenager,

especially the ones you had a crush on.

But you sound so confident.

I'm glad you think so.

Are you okay that I know who you are?

Absolutely. I've got nothing to hide.

I'm comfortable with this. I like this.

Me too.

But I don't know about this bed.

I think you're gonna need a bigger one.

One that'll fit both of us.

Oh wait, don't forget this.

Right. That's important.

Thanks.

So I just finished the fourth issue of my Louis Riel series.

Maybe I could show it to you sometime.

I'd love that.

Hi.

Sonny.

This is Yulissa, Yulissa, this is Sonny.

I'm just, uh, I'll just... Good luck.

You said you'd never bring anyone here.

I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

This is fucked.

Was that your girlfriend?

My ex-girlfriend.

Ah, interesting arrangement.

Chester, I like you, but this doesn't work for me either.

Hey.

What's up?

So it's getting pretty serious with Reed.

Yeah, he's a nice guy.

He wants to move in.

Hmm.

But he thinks it's weird, all of us living together.

It's such a small house.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I understand.

That's what you want.

Yes.

I love it.

You love it?

Maybe put that in the hallway.

I like it here.

Charles Powell building was built in 1890,

and over here at 322 Spadina, Emma Goldman,

the feminist and anarchist, dubbed the most dangerous

woman in America, lived on the second floor

in the winter of 1926. Emma Goldman was put off

by Toronto's small-minded conservatism.

Fortunately, she was also a free love advocate

who spoke passionately in favor of birth control,

despite violating the city's blasphemy laws.

Chester?

Never go over here.

Oh, yeah.

I am very glad we ran into each other.

You sure know your history.

That's my jam, architecture and morality.

So how did you get into sex work?

At university.

I was working part-time at an escort agency

and started filling in for the girls

who couldn't make it into work.

It gave me confidence, made me feel sexy,

and I was making a lot more money than my friends at school.

Since we saw each other last, I've decided to downsize.

I've been paring down my client list.

You made the cut.

Oh!

For you, the new issue of the Louis Riel series.

Nice! Can you sign it for me?

Of course.

Um, but make it out to Denise, please.

Denise is my real name. Yulissa is my professional name.

Denise.

Thanks.

Can I ask you a question?

It depends.

Why do you still do this?

Well, I'm my own boss, I set my own rates,

I do what I want, when I want.

It's more than fucking, it's, it's work.

Empathy work, but work.

I dunno. I fuck for money, and I enjoy it.

Sounds potentially draining.

It's not draining.

I mean, yeah, it's draining sometimes,

but it's not right now.

I'll let you know if it is.

Damn, Laura, your line is crazy.

They can wait five minutes while I rest my face.

Yes, here, here. The book is great, Laura.

Your books are always great.

Except now readers like women, so that's good for you.

Give it six months, and everyone will hate us again.

But for now, it's pretty nice.

You know, I worry about these signings.

Every year, they get more and more corporate.

Oh, well, at least the porn stars are still here.

She's a centerfold.

Whatever.

Mommy.

Hi! There You go. Thank you.

Hi, how are you? Oh, so good--

I'm going over.

What?

I know you're sexually enlightened,

but maybe it's not a good idea to approach the woman

that you pleasure yourself to while she's with her child.

I don't jerk off to her anymore.

He's doing it.

Hi, Mandy.

Hi.

Hi, I just wanted to thank you.

You are a big part of my life. I'm a fan.

You're welcome.

Oh, what didn't you like about it?

Oh, the font was computer generated.

Art should be hand drawn.

If it's gonna hang in a gallery, it should be original art.

Otherwise, the guy at the print shop making the photocopy

should be the one making $5,000.

You're so old fashioned.

So should we call it a night,

or do you wanna go back to your place?

My place.

I just need to swing by an ATM.

Chester, I have to tell you something.

I'm 34, Chet. It's time I hung up my heels.

I'm down to my last few clients, and...

I wanna explore my options.

I think I wanna go back to school.

I really like this.

What, what...

What?

What if it was just you and me?

That, that would be complicated.

Not necessarily, not, not if I was still paying you.

I'll think about it.

Sloths move extremely slowly,

and only when it is necessary.

They spend 90% of their life motionless.

Sloths are solitary,

and rarely make contact with one another.

The three toed sloth breeds year-round.

Hello.

We should go to Costa Rica and hang out with sloths.

They are so relaxed. I need that.

I need to slow down, and be around that kind of energy.

You wanna jump on a plane to Costa Rica

to practice quietude?

You should see if you can make it through a two hour movie

without chewing through your own thumb.

This is important to me.

Okay.

We wrap on the 12th, then let's go to Costa Rica.

I've never felt so peaceful, so serene.

This is perfect. It's all I've ever wanted.

Sonny?

Yeah.

I think I'm falling in love with someone else.

I watched Criterion movies,

I sprouted my own alfalfa,

I signed up for a 10 day silent meditation retreat.

I did everything right, and it didn't matter.

Can I be honest with you?

Just be alone. For the love of God,

I haven't liked one of your boyfriends since Chester.

I don't even know if I like Chester.

You've been in a relationship ever since I've known you.

Maybe it's time to take a break from that.

Shouldn't you be looking after your children?

I got the day off. I earned it, and I'm taking it.

I'm gonna take a few weeks to deal

with about two years worth of damage to my body.

But after I'm done, can I have a job?

You're hired.

Well, bye-bye.

Oh, wait, don't forget your money.

I always do that. You are so distracting.

I'm, uh, I'm thinking of writing about this.

About what?

My experiences paying for sex.

I think it could do some good.

You want to be the Louis Riel of johns?

No, I just want to write the truth.

Nice stuff, ugly stuff.

Maybe it could, I don't know.

I think I just need to write it.

Am I a character in it?

I hope so. I won't include any of your personal stuff.

Okay. Mention me as little as possible.

Whatever you want.

See you in two weeks.

Mo, thank you for loving me.

And you'll always be with me.

"Music For the Funeral of Queen Mary" by Henry Purcell.

I ran into Suzo.

She told me about Mo.

Hey, I wanted to return your house keys.

You can keep them as a spare in case I lock myself out.

So if you're the only one who sees Denise,

and she's the only one who sees you,

what do you call that?

Wonderful. It's wonderful.

Oh.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

You know, for a man dead set against romantic love,

you are the most romantic man in the world.

That's a good line.

Can I use that in my book?

Sure.

What are you up to tonight?

Denise and I are going to see a play.

What time is it at?

Soon.

Do you want me to stay?

Don't feel obligated. I thought you were anti obligation.

It's not an obligation. If we were together, it would be,

but you're my friend, so it's a choice.

You should go.

Five more minutes?

Five more minutes.

I never stopped loving you.

I never stopped loving you.

♪ So casually unclean ♪

♪ She slips into a change, unfolds her magazine ♪

♪ Celluloid and shadow lines so thoughtfully obscene ♪

♪ Body hair's in vogue again, at least he wasn't mean ♪

♪ Oh, what's another stain? ♪

♪ Inspect, deflect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Inspect, neglect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Reject, reject ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Oh yeah, you bet ♪

♪ She's going for the real thing ♪

♪ Exquisitely unsure ♪

♪ Exchanging attitudes, she takes the package tour ♪

♪ Emotional Quaaludes so perfectly impure ♪

♪ She's got so many moves to try before she's sure ♪

♪ She's getting damaged goods ♪

♪ Inspect, deflect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Inspect, neglect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Reject, reject ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Oh yeah, you bet ♪

♪ She's going for the real thing ♪

♪ Mister Tan and Lean ♪

♪ Towering so high above her, Mister PhD ♪

♪ Tells her I don't take no blather ♪

♪ Mister European ♪

♪ Coming out, afraid to show ♪

♪ Mister Stage and Screen, someone take her picture ♪

♪ And inspect, deflect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Inspect, neglect ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Reject, reject ♪

♪ Waiting for the real thing ♪

♪ Oh yeah, you bet ♪

♪ She's going for the real thing ♪