All language subtitles for 49 Up (2005) DVDRip x264.eng

I'm going to work
in Woolworth's

When I grow up I want
to be an astronaut

When I get married I'd
like to have two children

My hearts desire
is to see my Daddy

I don't want
to answer that

This is no ordinary
outing at the zoo

it's a very
special occasion

we've brought these children
together for the very first time

they're like
any other children

except that they come from
startlingly different backgrounds

Stop it
at once!

We brought these children
together because we wanted a glimpse

of England in
the year 2000

the shop steward and the
executive of the year 2000

are now
seven years old

In 1964 World in
Action made Seven Up

we have been back to film
these children every seven years

they are
now forty-nine

Is it important
to fight? Yes!

Tony was brought up in
the East end of London

I want to be a jockey
when I grow up yeah

At fourteen he was
already an apprentice

at Tommy Gosling's
racing stable in Epsom

at fifteen
he left school

This is a photo finish of
when I rode at Newberry

I'm the one
with the white cap

I was beaten a length and a
half for third and had a photo finish

Do you regret
not making it?

I'd have given my right arm
at the time arm to be a jockey

but now?... well I
wasn't good enough

What will you do if you
don't make it as a jockey?

I don't
know

If I knew I couldn't be
one I'd get out of the game

wouldn't
bother

and what do you think
you would do then?

Learn
taxi's

At twenty-one, he
was on "The Knowledge"

and by twenty-eight
he owned his own taxi

It's surprising
who you pick up

I once met Kojak
I picked him up

and Warren Mitchell,
Alf Garnett, y'know

- Have you got a girl friend?
- No.

Would you like to
have a girl friend?

No

Do you understand
the four F's?

find them, feed
them and forget them

the other F, I'll let you use
your own discrimination

but I mean,
this one

I tried to do
the three F's

but I couldn't
forget her

I went to a
discotheque

he was in the
pub earlier on

and afterwards we went to a
disco and Tony was standing there

and I just... from
there that was it

couldn't
get rid of him!

We have our ups and downs,
no more than anyone else

I think you've got
to work at a marriage

I think all marriages
go through stages

you can't
stand each other

I think "Oh god I hate
him I wish he'd get out"

I do

We've been to the edge of the
cliff and looked over a couple of times

and we've always
seemed to go back

and we've
stayed the course

but I must say it's not
easy being married

By forty-two Tony and
Debbie had left the Eastend

and moved to
Woodford in Essex

We were going to put
a conservatory here

if you look
along here

we've put a patio in
and a pond for the fish

but the only thing
I ever done was

I planted them
three trees

well since you were last here
we had small trees if you remember?

now they've sort
of grown a bit

So why are the
trees singed?

We were burning some
rubbish at the back

and it set light
to the tree

and there we were throwing
buckets of water over it

sadly enough
it's singed the tree

At forty-nine, they'd taken out a
second mortgage on the London house

and sunk the money into
a holiday home in Spain

I'm very pleased
with the house

the progress we've made in
the little time we've worked here

and to get it all
ship-shape, I think it's done

to the testament
of my wife Debbie

As per
usual!

Debbie went to the furniture
shop and picked all the furniture

all what you see is Debbie's
choice of furniture and her style

the floor, we were lead to
believe we had a choice of tiling

whether it's a light
beige or light brown

That's the first I've heard that we had
a choice, 'cause I would've had plain

I've just gone into the neighbours
house and they've got all plain tiles

and I asked him and he said it was a
choice that we had when we bought it

- So that was where the mistake was made
- Because you don't listen

- Say that again - You don't
listen - I Can't hear you

Tony and Debbie still
work as London cabbies

We sold our cabs as we're going
to spend more time out here

so it's not really conducive
to own the cab is it? - No

because the cab will be left
out on the drive, it's pointless

and we just hire a
cab independently now

I'm working harder now
than what I ever have done, but

I feel that it's
for something

Tell me son, what do you
want to be a cab driver for?

all the holidays in Spain every
year but it's hard work out there

- You're not reaching me yet
- I'm not getting to you?

- Be bigger, dominate me!
- Son!

At twenty-eight Tony was
taking acting lessons

now he supplements his income
with occasional TV jobs

Oi!

That's all
I've got on me

If I had a pound for every time
I've heard that I'd be a rich man

Get
him!

A guy contacted me
from my acting agency

and I got in touch with
him and he writes plays

and he's been inspired
by your Up programs

which go all around
the world and he saw it

and we got together and wrote
a biographical play about my life story

we took one of these episodes over
to New York and did a play reading

and I got up and
played the lead role

and it went
extremely well

and we're looking for someone
to pick it up and put it on stage

Would everybody please sit
round now, get on with their work

I don't want to
see any backs to me

shouldn't be anybody turning
round, Tony do you hear as well?

get on with
your work in front

Tony!

don't turn
round again

there's only one ambition
really, I want a baby son

and if I see my baby son
that'll be my ambition fulfilled

no one knows
that, only you now!

Debbie and Tony
have three children

Nicky

Jodie

and
Perry

Nicky's doing quite well,
he's still a French Polisher

it's an old time
profession, as you know

and he's working for a firm and
he's very happy in his work isn't he

He's been brought up to
be very respectful to people

a very well mannered
person, he's a hard worker

Jodie at this present time just
relies on us a very great deal

and...

she's been very scarred with
a relationship that she was in

her relationship with her
first love was very turbulent

but he's the
father of her kid

I'm going to make sure
she gets through it

and it's been quite a strain on Debbie
and I to see her in that situation

I'm very proud
of Perry as well

she got in the Post Office
and that's what she's doing

"Postman-Pel" that's
our Postman Perry

she loves it, she works hard
she's up at four in the morning

She's got a lovely boyfriend, he
loves her more than you can imagine

and he's certainly
got my blessing

big lad, very nice guy, loves
his football, typical Eastend kid

we are the backbone
for the kids aren't we

Yeah but I think you're parents
are anyway, you're parents are...

you never visualise anything
ever happening to your parents

you think they're
there for ever

Tony's
five

Harry's four,
nearly five

and little Boo,
she's nearly two

- Three!
- She's three!

I'm a hands
on grandad

I love my grand children
more than you can imagine

I'd not say my own kids
but in a different way

it's an obsession
of love, y'know

You see these grand children
and they're part of you

No grandad
I'm doing that

- They're hard work at times
- We don't mind though

Once you slow down and you
don't realise you're slowing down

all I understand is,
dogs, prices, girls

knowledge, roads, streets,
squares and mum and dad and love

that's all I understand and
that's all I want to understand

By the time he was thirty-five,
both Tony's parents had died

I'm at the grave side
I'm talking to her

I've got all the images
running through my mind

saying like "Tony go downstairs
and get me five cigarettes"

and I used to
go in the shop

she used to throw the cotton
in a hair curler out the window

and I used to tie the
cigarettes onto the cotton

and she used
to pull them up

and she goes...
I see her in the end

"Thanks Tony, see you after school,
be good" and that's the way it was

We knew my dad
was terminally ill

although it still didn't
make it any easier for us

when my dad died
I took it really hard

I can't...

Nellie Rose is my mum
as her name was Nel

and her mothers
name is Rose

so my Jodie and all the family
were conjuring up names to name it

Jodie, out of thin air said Nellie
Rose, the name of our mums

Sometimes on Saturday
morning I go to the cinema

sometimes with my
friends, sometimes with him

- You don't
- I do

She
don't

and why did you
fall in love with him?

I don't
know

I don't know how you
put up with me for so long

sometimes I don't
know how I stand him

Who's to say in another ten
years me and him might've split up

Quite
possible

You
don't know

When we filmed Debbie and Tony at forty-two
the marriage seemed to be in trouble

I'm not proud at
all to say this but

situations
arise that...

I have had regretful
behaviour various times

but

You got caught
and that was it

I'm not lying
about the fact

you could always cover it
up and suggest other things

but it's true
and let it be true

You
caught him?

- Yeah
- What happened?

well it was touch and go whether
we carried on from it or not

I did wish things that were
said then were never said

Perry wouldn't go to
school for three weeks

she wouldn't go out the door
she was quite upset about it all

and I think it was
a big shock because

you are their
mum and dad

We got on from there, it's seven years
down the line and we're happy as can be now

Cameron told me to
get my nickers here

she says they're better
than Marks and Spencers

Lets hope they're
easier to get off

there's ninety-six
percent English here

who all bought
their houses in Spain

and this is where they
shop every Saturday

it's just like an old London
market from years ago

what I like is it's so
relaxing down here

you walk along and things are
happening, the musics playing

there's an English pub
there you can just go in

and it's really home from
home but with the weather

from here it's about
two-hundred yards along

it's going to be all
commercial units here

my intention would be to
turn one into a sports bar

we will put TV's around in a sports way
and football shirts and memorabilia

this is tomorrow for me,
this is my future here

so I'm hoping to
get a business

and if I was to bring Nicky,
Jodie or Perry out here

then I'll have the best of both
worlds, I'll have my family here

plus, the kids can
be schooled here

well they can get what
they want can't they?

if you've got
to work for it

and they can just
ask for money and get it

and they can buy
what they want

I feel that the economy
will bust within five years

because people like myself have
been giving and giving all the time

the hard working family type people
who have contributed everything

we have to work, we have to maintain a
mortgage, we have to bring up the families

and I feel that I've had enough
of working all these hours

congestion charges are
forty pounds a week now

zero tolerance with the
police for parking tickets

we're paying and someones
getting it at our expense

Does it make you sad that you're going
to have to leave your roots, your country

I can't even go to the
Eastend now to have a drink

the pubs are
literally closing down

other cultures are buying
all my old traditions up

everyone likes their own culture and
I'm no different from anybody else

but in England, if you suggest
this you are targeted as...

an oddball or "oh you
mustn't say that"

- Safety by numbers eh
- Definitely

on the contrary I
would say I'm sorry

if you don't like it, it's not to be
offensive it's just to let you know that

my way of being brought up
was with all my own people

and I like being with my own
people and I'm a traditionalist

How much do you want to play
for? five pounds? - Ten pesetas

- What's the dream now?
- It's to be happy, which I am

I'm happy now being
healthy with all my family

we all want happy and health for our
family and anything else is a bonus

and that's all
I really want

and that's all I'm really after, I don't
want no more or less than that

- Unlucky Tony
- Unlucky

Some people from
Africa come here

but when they go they
put their clothes on

Jackie, Lynn and Sue all grew
up in the Eastend of London

and were friends in
the same junior school

with this school we do metal work and
wood work and the boys do cookery

We had a
teacher at school

his favourite
saying was...

"All you girls want to do is walk
out, get married, have babies

and push a pram down the street with a
cigarette hanging out of your mouth"

I think that we
all could've gone

and not any way that we wanted to
at the time within our capabilities

we chose
our own jobs

we only had a limited
choice anyway, truth be told

we didn't have a choice of private school
as we couldn't have afforded it anyway

The change is too much, our
lives are changing far too much!

all
of us

when you look at the seven year old
"us" it's difficult to believe it is us

it's like it's someone else
you're looking at, this cute thing!

- I can't remember being cute
- I wasn't cute!

I would like to get
married when I grow up

I don't know what sort of
boy but I think one...

thats not got
lot of money but...

has got some
money, not a lot

Have you got
any boy friends?

oh!

that's
personal isn't it!

By the time she was twenty-one,
Jackie had married Mick

and moved to the
outskirts of London

It was horrific really, the cake
what happened to the wedding cake

it was sitting right
in between Mick and myself

suddenly the columns just completely
gave way and it just all fell into one

I would say on average
nineteen is probably too young

By thirty-five,
she was divorced

We decided ourselves,
just between the two of us

we knew it wasn't
going any further

we both knew we would be
happier leading our own lives

She and Mick had decided early
on that they didn't want children

Basically I would say
because I'm far to selfish

I enjoy doing what I want,
when I want and how I want

and

certainly at the moment I
can't see any way around that

and this one
off, here we go

had a brief but very sweet
relationship, result of which was Charlie

give us
a cuddle

I don't really want Charlie
to be an only child

I'd love him to have
brothers and sisters

but not necessarily loads of
them! just one would do actually!

- right Charlie, there's yours
- right

- and please eat it all up
- I will

- and James
- thanks mum - good boy

and last but
not least

are you going to eat
that one for me?

After her relationship with
Charlie's father ended

she met Ian and they moved to
Scotland and had two more sons

- James
- Alright

By forty-two
they had split up

Go on Lee, go
and get him

Despite the split the family all
live in the same area of Scotland

There's
your dad!

Lee and Charlie's birthday's
are only a month apart

so we tend to do something in between
to celebrate both their birthday's

so we usually go somewhere
like an amusement park

Lee's got a lot of
nerve hasn't he?

and a little bit of bravado as
his older brothers had said no

I think he decided
"I'm going to do this one"

Has Charlie shown any
interest as to his father?

No

Ian's his father as
far as he's concerned

he knows and the whole family
know that biologically he's not

but in every respect
Ian is his father

always
has been

he's done everything with him, been
everything to him, taught him everything

What would you do if you had
lots of money? about two pounds

I would buy myself a
nice new made house

one that's all
nice and comfy

Ooh, I quite
like that

Jackie suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis
and lives off disability benefit

How is money
for you?

Could do with more as just
about everybody would say

but we manage, we cut
our costs accordingly

You've got "X" amount and
that's what you do

Has Liz got anything
to do with that?

Liz has always got
something to do with that

Ian's her son but she also says I'm here
and she has three grandchildren here

that she loves dearly and
that she will be there for us

James has just had a trip to
Alton Towers with the school

and she'll say "you pay for the trip
and I'll give him the spending money"

which is brilliant as it
makes life easier for me

You've moved in the last
seven years, tell me about that

because of the arthritis that I've
got I had to come to the ground floor

and this area is an
area that I like

it's close to Liz so from
that point of view it suits

the school's across
the road for the boys

good neighbours, which makes
a difference wherever you live

it's how the Eastend used
to be about thirty years ago

the doors would be open and the
neighbours looked out for each other

if one neighbour had a problem others
would help out and that's how it is here

that's what this
place is like, a village

we deal with the problems
with the boys when they arise

you've always got the problem of
drink, drugs, smoking and not smoking

and that
sort of thing

Charlie's at an age now
where I can't mother him

but I can't be
his friend either

he wants to work, leave school and
get a car mechanics apprenticeship

but the chances of him doing
that are probably very slim

Yeah well someone kept
stealing my chips again!

Lee, take your time,
you'll make yourself ill - ok

James tends to be a
bit of a computer freak

he
wants to...

produce and make
his own games

Lee tends to be the outspoken
one and is a bit like I was at his age

- In fact he's very much like I was
- Is that a worry?

I think that's... that's terrible!
how dare you say that to me!

why would that be a worry? do
you think I've turned out badly?

No, sometimes you see things
you don't like in yourself

then you see them in
your child and you think...

I never said he'd picked
up all of my traits

I think he's picked
up my best traits

If you're not going to play
nice... right go to bed then - No!

he has a temper which isn't as
bad as when he was younger

but it is something he knows about
and he tries very hard to control

Does your temper
get you into trouble?

You're probably the best
one to answer that, does it?

you and I have had
arguments on occasions

Did you meet enough men
before you decided who to marry?

What do you mean
by settled down?

If you think that getting married as
far as we're concerned is a case of

go to work, come home, cook tea for
husband, go to bed, get up, go to work

you're
totally mistaken

I like it when
you shout at me!

- I'm not sure you do really
- I mean, I don't know

What happened
at twenty-one?

you asked me if I'd had enough
experience with men before I married

and I thought that was an
insulting question and I got very angry

and we stopped
filming because of it

and if you look at the tapes of
me at twenty-one, I'm sitting and...

to all intents and purposes I
might as well not have been there

but I was really angry that you
even thought you could get...

you wouldn't have asked some of
the other people that question

you will edit this
program as you see fit

I've got no
control over that

you definitely come across as, this
is your idea of what you want to do

and how you see us and
that's how you portray us

this one may be the first one that's
about us and not your perception of us

So how up to now
have I got you wrong?

How have you
got me wrong?

The last one was
very much based on...

the sympathy and the
illness that I've got

and

what I may or may
not be able to do

it should've
been about...

what I can do, what I
am doing, what I will do

don't make that
mistake Mike

I am no
way...

I am down and I'm
depressed about my illness

but I'm certainly not down
and depressed about my life

and a lot of times I sit and cringe
when I watch those programs

not just for me
but for other people

you can ask me about Ian and you
know full well I'm going to say to you..

"It's none of your business,
I'm not talking about it"

there are other people on
this program that don't do that

that quite of their
own free will

will talk about their marriages,
divorces or the state of their lives

I don't think you should be into that,
I don't think you should be asking that

It's part of peoples lives and
this program is about peoples lives

No, yeah
but that's...

to me that's a part of my life
that will never go on this program

you know I've married, my
ex-husband never took part in this

- My partner now will never take part of this
- But that's not my fault

No, but that's because
that's the way I want it

but it still doesn't stop you trying
to get that information from me

So what would you
like to talk about?

if you want me to represent you,
we've talked a bit about the children

What I
want to do

what I
hope to do

I just don't want that
personal conversation

OK lets talk about what you'd
hope to do and hope for the boys

What I'd
hope to do?

I'd
actually...

I'd like to go
back to school

so that I can hold a conversation with anyone
in the world and know what I'm talking about

so that
I'm not stuck

"well I know a little bit about that
but I don't really know enough"

I'd love
to know...

actually I'd really love to
start my education all over again

My mum, 'cause she's got five
girls she had seven years bad luck

that's why she's
got five girls

I'd like to be able to
have a happy family

I know that's not possible
to be happy all the time

but as much of the
time that was possible

I don't know what Suzi's had,
what's Suzi had that I haven't had?

Are you different from what I should've
expected at seven, fourteen and twenty-one?

Maybe not enough
but I've got it

I think I'm more intelligent
than you thought I would be

I have reached
a level...

in my life that
I'm happy with

and I enjoy
being me

but I don't think you ever expected
me to turn out the way I have

- How was that Lee?
- It was great!

Yeah, Lee's always
trying to better you!

If we did all love Jeffrey and
we all wanted to marry him

I think I know the one that
he'd like best and that's her

I don't think I'd get
married too early

I'd like to have a full life
first and meet people

- I'd like to enjoy myself before I...
- Yeah, before you commit yourself

Marriage means a
different thing to me

I've still got my ideals about marriage
I don't know what it's all about

Sue was twenty-four
when she married Billy

they had two children,
William and Katherine

I think that to get married young
there must be things that you miss

you must miss that crucial
stage of being yourself

because the minute you get married
you're no longer a single being

you're a partnership and that
should be the idea behind it

By the time she was thirty-five
she and Billy had divorced

I've never sat
down and thought...

well, what was it? was
it this? was it that?

I just knew it
wasn't working

there has been relationships
when I could've settled

but they didn't
feel quite right, so...

I've always come
away and pulled away

and just waited until
the right one came along

if they
ever do!

#Don't you remember you told
me you loved me baby#

At forty-two when we filmed
Sue in the karaoke bar

she brought Glen along
to watch her sing

We'd just met and things were going well
but now obviously things are going very well

- Is this love?
- Oh I think so yeah

We've know each other for a
long time before the seven years

and we've always
always liked each other

- He's good looking
- He's very good looking, he's not bad is he

Everyone says he
looks like Paul Weller

whether that's true or not?
especially now he's growing his hair

Susan most of
all likes Lesley

- What?
- Don't you think?

- She keeps changing her mind though
- Yeah I don't know which one really

every thing's not
that cut and dried

it's not either
career or family or...

but is what's in the middle, am I
just going to carry on as I am now? for?

and end up...
on the shelf?

or am I just going to get
married? could be any day

I've been married and I've
not got that urgency, Glen...

we say "maybe we will" we're engaged,
committed and bought a house together

and to me that's
a big committment

every house needs money
spending on it when you move in

to have a wedding you have
to put some cash into it

when I got married the primary
reason was because I wanted a child

the two to me
went together

Have you and Glen thought
of having your own child?

well Glen got
with me when...

we got together when
I was in my forties

and you don't have a baby when
you've just started a relationship

I didn't want to do all that again,
I would've loved to have a baby

'cause he would make a wonderful
parent but the timing was off

- So she's your baby?
- She's my new baby yeah

my kids are my babies
but she's my new baby

she's our baby!
mine and Glens!

she's a wonderful terrier,
she's got such character

- What does she do?
- Well she watches TV with us

she's got her own
favourite programs

and she adores Rolf Harris,
absolutely adores Animal Hospital

and if she's at the top of the
house and the music comes on

she runs down the stairs and sits
in front of the TV for Rolf Harris

- The house looks nice, are you pleased
with it? - I am very pleased with it

it's a lovely step for us, we feel like
we've got more space around us and...

we've got to do everything inside but we
can build on it and that's what we want

we've been promising to have a house
warming party since we moved in

we've been here four months
now so I thought it was about time

people are just
starting to arrive now

So you left the
Eastend, why?

Well I've always
wanted to move out

but you don't do that or the opportunity
isn't there when you're on your own...

with two kids, I wish
I'd done it before

but it's timing, now is
the right time obviously

and the Eastend has
changed, it's changed a lot

mum comes down to me, it's so
easy they can just jump on a train

and the station is within walking
distance so it's worked out wonderfully

some people are just born
into rich families and they're lucky

I don't see why they should have the luck
when people have worked all their lives

and haven't got as much as
they have, it doesn't seem fair

So have you moved
up a class now?

Well it's difficult to say,
"upper" or "up a" class

I suppose it feels
like that to me

now I've got the sense
of pride, my own house

and I feel like I'm
building for the future

I've been a single parent for a long
while and I've brought them up on my own

because Katherine was
only two when Bill left

it's been extremely hard
and sometimes very lonely

I only had to have one filling,
that was all I had done

William's a computer addict,
he works in the industry

he also constantly has
a computer on indoors

yeah smiley faces
and windows...

he could've gone to university
and he knows that and I know that

I do regret
that for him

but I've been there, I can remember
I didn't want to do that either

and Katherine's temping as she wants
to do a bit of travelling next year

people say she's me reincarnated,
she looks a bit like me

and her mannerisms
are exactly like me

and she likes
to enjoy herself

to go into a relationship with
someone with two teenagers

it must've been very difficult for him
and they do clash occasionally

I hate it because I'm an easy going
person and I don't like strife

they're doing things the
way I brought them up

which isn't the way that Glen
would like things to be done, so...

you've got to learn to live
together in the same house

it'll always be a
learning curve!

I'm a peace
maker!

When the children were
old enough to go to school

Sue went back to work and
had a series of office jobs

she now helps run the MA
courses in the university of London

I still work for the college
but we moved to central London

now I'm the main
administrator for the program...

instead of an assistant and I've got a
couple of people who help me with that

Hayley, could you fax that to
Mary for me please?

- So you like the resposibility?
- Yeah I love the resposibility

I think I was born for the
responsibility, yeah I love it

- Well I've never been abroad
- No, nor have I - I have

- Oh yeah 'cause you went on
that cruise didn't you - Yeah

once a year we go
to Cornwall or Devon

we try to find a different spot
every year and we bring the dog

it's just such
a lovely place

every time you turn a corner
there's a different sight

you never know what you're going
to find, everythings so beautiful

we both had childhood
holidays here and good memories

and we decided to come back
and we've been coming ever since

it's nice for us just to
be a couple for a week

when we retire or
maybe before if we get lucky

this is the sort of place
we'd like to come to

that one there right in the middle
nearest the beach, that would be ideal

absolute perfect,
the perfect place

oh that was
a good one!

*speaks
Latin*

Yes speak up, fill up
the gaps on the board

When he was seven, Bruce was at a
pre-preparatory boarding school

at fourteen, St. Paul's
school in London

They don't enforce
being upper class

and things like
that at St. Paul's

they suggest that you don't
have long hair and do get it cut

and they teach you to be
reasonably well mannered

but not to sniff
on the poorer people

At twenty-one he was in his last
year at Oxford reading maths

You can show that
this is irreducible

then you do a transformation on
this point and X = T + two

Good that's a nice
way of doing it

particularly using Eisentstien
down here, his test is very powerful

At twenty-eight Bruce was
teaching maths in East London

Well going
to Africa

and try and teach people
who are not civilised

to be more
or less good

At thirty-five, he was teaching
in Sylhet in Northrn Bangladesh

then I've also got the
chance to learn a bit of Bangla

which is very difficult,
I'm not doing very well at

*Speaks
Bangla*

By forty-two Bruce
is back in the Eastend

running the maths
department at a girls school

at forty-nine he's
teaching at St Alban's

a large boys independent school
which has girls in the sixth form

I sing in the choir twice a week on
Monday's and Friday's we go to the Abbey

because in the early days
the school was in the Abbey

going back
to 948

- 948?
- Yes, so...

the head likes to say "we're
in our third millenium"

- So the school's over a thousand years
old? - Yes, in one form or another

- What's the first thing we do?
- I multiply by three

You don't multiply by
three, you divide by three

Tell me what's exciting
about teaching here?

There is a higher
academic level to teach

then you can see pupils at
a more developed level

that flash
of recognition

and engendering their love of the
subject that I had at their age

there is a
class society

and I think private schools
may help it's continuance

Has this been a compromise
of political principles for you?

I would say, have a million
angels infront of every teacher

who is prepared to slog away
at an inner city school

make way, this is somebody who is
prepared to turn up each day for this job

Where's
the graph?

Sixty
right

that motto "water weareth away a stone
by dripping on it, not by smashing it"

was a motto for teaching in that
you kept on teaching them and

that eventually it would get through and
pupils would change and learn and so on

but in the end the
reverse happened

that water dripping on
me, wore me away

I just
thought

I don't think I can do this until I'm
sixty and so I have to do something else

Do your old friends give you
a hard time for what you've done?

They certainly
do, they say...

"have you joined the Tory party,
the golf club, the Masons?"

"you're driving a much better
car than you used to" and so on

well my girlfriend
is in Africa

and I don't think I'll have
another chance of seeing her again

- Have you got any girlfriends?
- No, not yet

I'm sure it will
come but not yet

I do think a lot of people
think too much about it

I think I would
very much like to...

become involved in a family,
my own family for a start

that's a need that I
feel I ought to fulfil

and would like to fulfil
and would do it well

yes I haven't got
married or whatever

and I suppose that would've been
something which I'd hoped had happened

Well you're getting on a bit,
are you getting worried?

Well not really, I'm always optimistic
who knows who I might meet tomorrow

and in the middle of a conversation
about something completely different

he just asked if
I'd like to marry him

and if I hadn't been listening carefully
I would have missed it completely

- To love and to cherish
- To love and to cherish

- Till death us do part
- Till death us do part

- Is this a beetroot or something?
- I think it's just a weed

Do you enjoy
gardening?

Well under Penny's directions
I do whatever she asks

I don't know what to do here
or what order to do things in

she and her mother are
quite good at this

So you're
the labourer?

Yes, I'm the unpaid
labourer, the serf

the Feudal Vassel or whatever, Penny
will give you the correct medieval term

We don't argue
very much

Not really, we haven't
really had a full blown row

Our arguments tend to be two sentences
and I go off and sulk for 24 hours

- How are you doing dear?
- Fine thank you

one positive influence on him,
I've stopping him apologising

when I first knew him
he kept saying "sorry, sorry"

and apologised for things
that didn't need apologising for

maybe it's just 'cause we
weren't married then

- You see I was winning you over then
- Yes that's right!

- Were you the world's greatest cook?
- Well only pasta

If you have emotional issues
will you talk about them?

Well I have the usual male
reticence about that kind of thing

If Penny wanted to give me a hard time
she'd say "talk about your feelings"

that would be worse
than a 24 hour sulk

We may have
children I don't know

if in seven years time or so we're
living in a slightly bigger house...

with a young family
that would be nice

I don't want to pin all my hopes
on it and nothing happens

we are
quite old

I can see bringing up teenage children
in your fifties might be a bit strange

come on then
Henry, get on

is it more tiring
than you thought?

until you're doing it you don't
realise how sleep deprived you get

and how totally exhausted you
are all the time for several years

- That came as quite a shock
- Sometimes I go to bed at 8:30!

which is
ridiculous

infact, I sometimes go to
bed before Henry and George!

He looks like his
father doesn't he

Hmm, George has got the cheek
bones that run in Bruce's family

and what
have I got?

eh?

ooh!

that's hard to
answer darling

We're at my first school where
I was from about five to eight

and this is where I
stayed for three years

I can remember
being happy there

I can remember
also being miserable

because I can
remember crying

I always seemed to be beaten on
and never used to understand why

Squad
halt!

- You were here because?
- My parents were seperated and divorced

and just to give me a stable
place to be and be educated

it was a solution
to all those problems

my hearts desire
is to see my daddy

who is six
thousand miles away

I did miss contact
with my father, and

although I say it as a joke to Penny
"time to send them boarding, as I was"

and she says "over my dead body"
but I wouldn't want that either

Five years ago the family moved from the
Eastend to be near Bruce's new school

it's very quiet, it's child friendly
and it just feels very safe

and that's very important when you have
small children, that the area feels safe

what can you give them
that you didn't have?

contact with a
father that is loving

and they can realise that and
show that love to other people

and realise when they're letting
both themselves and me down

I can be a guiding
light for them

Do you want
any more children?

Well...

Bruce was originally
talking about a cricket team

but he's got his opening batsman
and that's going to be his lot, frankly

I want you to play tomorrow, I'm
not going to drop you from sarcasm!

I run one of the junior teams
here, the under thirteens

nearly two-hundred boys
there doing that on a saturday

rather than other things
that could waylay them

so that combination of playing in a team
and the ability to back each other up

and form friendships
that's such a nice thing

At weekends Bruce
plays village cricket

We don't really mind who wins and
loses, we obviously prefer to win

and we go on tour every
year and go down to Devon

it's such a nice bunch of mates and I've
known some of them for twenty-five years

you can play it at a reasonable
level until your in your sixties

and what about
your batting skills?

I'm mainly a bit of a slogger so
I tend to bat down the order 6,7,8

it can be brief but the
last time I played I got fifty

Do you have
fears for the future?

I'm kind of worried that the boys will
turn out alright, I hope they avoid drugs

to see them sleeping or carrying
them around is just fantastic

and the smell of them and
the look of them is just...

you just want to protect them
from everything that's harmful to them

When you look back at yourself
at seven can we see you now?

I can't really recognise myself, he
looks a little bit lost and sad, I think

I'm quite surprised to be
contented and reasonably happy

Do you
have a dream?

I would've liked to play international
cricket but I wasn't good enough

one's dreams go in the day
to day living of ordinary life

and family
life takes over

I think we just sort of
live without our dreams

I don't
like

the big boys
hitting us

and the prefects sending
us out for nothing

When he was seven, Paul was
in care in a children's home in London

were you happy at the
children's home in England?

We didn't mind that really as
we didn't know what was going on

'cause I was a
bit young then

well my mother and father
separated originally I think

they eventually
got divorced

I went to the boarding school for one
year, then we emigrated to Australia

Paul settled with his father and
step-mother in a suburb of Melbourne

what mark has it left on you, the fact
you were brought up in a bad marriage

The only thing I can say may have
came from that is my lack of confidence

and being able to
show my feelings

Would you like to
get married Paul?

- Tell me why not
- I don't like...

say you
had a wife

say you had to eat
what they cooked you

and say, I don't like
vegetables, well I don't

I know I prefer
to be alone really

I can't say I don't want to
get married, 'cause I think I do

but I want to be happily married
and therefore I want to make sure

What was it that you fell in
love with, what is it about him?

His helplessness I suppose,
brings out the mothering instinct in me

can pick him up
and cuddle him and

he's also very good looking I
think but he doesn't agree with me

and in the summer he's got
this cute little bum in shorts

I can tell quite a
few stories here but

the one that really irritates me the
most is when we have an argument he says

"that's it, leave me" and I
say "fine alright, I will one day"

We had our twentieth wedding
anniversary just before christmas

Which was
a life sentence

Yeah! everyone reckons
we should be out of jail by now

To a certain extent we started thinking
"do we really know each other now?"

because you just get
into the routine of..

going to work, coming back home,
taking the kids here and there

I don't think you mean to but you
probably stop thinking of each other alot

I find it hard to express
emotion most of the time

although I'm getting
on top of that

I'm more
than happy now

just the simple things to say to Susan,
like "I love you" or something like that

I mean I can tell
you about it but

I really haven't been able
to say it freely to Sue, y'know?

It's a bit hard to talk about but
I did have to get a bit of help

it wasn't directly due to our
relationship, it started at work sadly

which brought my self esteem down
which affected everything else

and I was very fortunate
that I saw a local doctor

with her help I started properly
coming back to normal thinking

I was feeling a little worried
about the relationship

as I felt I hadn't progressed
and I was going backwards

and I still
believe that

I was thinking that "why would
Susan want to be with someone as... "

it sounds funny
but "as boring as me"

'cause there was nothing
there, what do I do?

How do
I say it?...

it was a shock that he got that
low and doubted the relationship

because one thing I've always known is
Paul's never doubted his love for me

it's always been there and
I've never doubted it either

Did the physical side of
your marriage suffer?

I think
it did

- I think it did really
- For a little while

But we promised ourselves
when we first got married that...

we'd never stop touching or being
affectionate towards each other

and infront of the children,
we've always been...

even now with the children, we
still embrace a lot, both Katie and Robert

Katie will sometimes
say "Mother... stop it!"

I was going to be a policeman but I
thought how hard it would be to join in

I just haven't made up my mind yet
I was gonna be a gym teacher but

one of the teachers
told me that

I had to get up
into the university

At twenty-one, Paul was a junior
partner for a firm of bricklayers

by twenty-eight he had gone
out on his own as a sub-contractor

When I started working for myself
things were looking good for me

I was out of school, it was something
I was very enthusiastic about

and I was chasing the dangling
carrot but never got there

really, I'm a worker
and not a business man

by the time he was forty-two,
Paul was doing factory work

making signs for
a plastics company

What's the future
for you at work?

Well the job's
still there

I've had talks with them about whether
they're ushering me out the door

they say they're not, not that I'm
that old but it's a bit of a worry...

about getting a fulltime
job with my skill levels

Sue had been a hairdresser
for most of her working life

but at forty-nine
she has a new career

as an occupational therapist
at a retirement home

you might be in your forties and getting
older but you still have a lot to add and...

and you can learn to go in a different
direction, I call this my sea change

- Do you have ambitions?
- Not really now

I've been in this job ten years
and never asked for a payrise

that's just what
I've always been like

Has it affected
home life at all?

It has affected
a little bit because...

I'm not there at home as much as I
used to be for when Paul got home

it can be, and I'm sure
I'm not the only one...

it can be quite startling when you get
home and think "there's no one here"

- When I've been here for 30 years to
come home to - It's really different

By the time they were twenty-eight,
they had two children, Katie and Robert

Katie did well at school and got a
place at university to study archeology

they're photos of the
dig in Cyprus that I went on

and we were digging in bronze age
tombs that are around the village

You're the first person in the family
to go to university, was it a struggle?

It was a bit as I had
to do it all by myself

I had nobody to help me as mum and
dad couldn't help me with my essays

What does
university mean?

I'm pretty
happy with Katie

and I'm not having a go at Rob
but I've got fears for Robert

'cause he's
struggling a little bit

Robert has trained
as a car mechanic

He's got reading and writing
difficulties and he's coping with that

we'd like to see him doing a
literacy course now he's a bit older

but just day to day troubles with making
ends meet with money that's always hard

He went nuts at me
for using the phone

"there's enough in that fucking garage
you cunts you fucking do this all the time"

What's Robert got
that you gave him?

Moodiness, I think he's even a little
bit more moody than I've ever been

he's not your average
relaxed twenty-one year old

What
you doing?

We only had two children as we thought
we couldn't love any more children

as much as we loved our two and now we
have our two grand kids and we love them

- You love them as much, really do
- As much, yeah

With Rob and Stacy we don't know
how long they're going to last for

and I keep my fingers
crossed they will last

we can only hope that
they work at it like we do

That's better,
thank you

In their twenties Paul and Sue sold up
bought a van and travelled Australia

I think it brought us closer together
because we really got to know each other

and we relied on
each other so much

One of the most important things we ever
did with our kids was spend time with them

and particularly when
you've got holidays

which a lot of parents do,
go camping with them

we've been camping
there now for 19 years

as Robert was two
when we first went there

So does this
beat the old van?

This is the Hilton
compared to that old van

So have you got any plans for any big
trips now the children have gone?

I think we'd like to do
something again but...

you need to have the finances to
support yourself for a few of months

and the monitors up in the
wash room sends the nurse out

"well there's no talking"
"no I wasn't talking today"

I'm more at peace around
the horses and the animals

I can be upset and on edge
and come down to the horses

and within three or four minutes
I've forgotten everything

so it does
calm me down

The last time I came you had the horses,
what's happened to the horses?

Well we gave Poinken away to some people
because it was a little bit expensive

and also the fun went
out of it basically

- How do you get that peace now?
- I think I got it through running

Well most Sunday mornings we go
training when Paul's doing marathons

when he runs great distances I
follow on the bike as a bit of support

and I take drinks for him so
he doesn't get dehydrated

it's something we can
do together so we do that

We're not doing
any great distances...

I have an injured knee, I'm just building
it up so it gets used to running again

I did the Host City marathon,
that was my first marathon I did

up in Sydney they trialed the Olympic
course and it was open to anyone

so I figured if you were going to do a
marathon that would be the one to do

I nearly died
but I enjoyed it!

happiness to me is a love
for life and a love for people

When you look back on the
marriage and the family, any regrets?

No, we wish we'd had more children
but who knows if we'd had them...

- We'd have said "too many!"
- We might be both in the nut house!

Without a family what
have you got? nothing

well that's
the way I feel

- More than work and achievements?
- Yeah

You've got nothing unless you've
got family and health anyway

it would be awfully
lonely without family I think

Tell me, do you have
any boyfriends Suzy?

Yes

Tell me
about them

Well he lives
up in Scotland

and I think
he's thirteen

Have you got any
boyfriends Suzy?

What is your attitude
towards marriage?

for
yourself?

Well I don't know, I haven't
given it a lot of thought

'cause I'm very, very
cynical about it

but then you get a certain
amount of faith restored in it

I've got friends and their
parents are happily married

and so it does put
faith back into you, but

me myself I'm very
cynical about it

When I last saw you at twenty-one
you were nervous, chain-smoking, uptight

and now you
seem happy

what's happened to you over
these last seven years?

Well I
suppose Rupert

- I'll give you some credit
- Thank you!

I'm not a
chain-smoking person

I think, you can't just
walk through a marriage

and think once you get married it's all
going to be roses and everything forever

y'know
you have...

well everybody
has their rows, but

we've never yet had a row that
we haven't managed to sort out

it's very hard to actually say what
it is that goes on between a couple

it's either
there or it's not

We've been married
twenty-seven years now

any marriage has its ups
and downs but somehow

whether through luck or determination
we've worked through the difficult times

he's just always been
there for me, and...

I know I can
rely on him and...

he's my punch-bag in the
same way I'm probably his

but it
works

When I get married I'd
like to have two children

I'm not very children minded at the moment
and I don't know if I ever will be

- What do you think about them?
- well, I don't like babies

At twenty-eight, Suzi had
two sons, Thomas and Oliver

by the time she was thirty-five,
Suzi had a daughter, Laura

- Mummy - Yeah?
- Laura wants you

So what are
the children up to?

They
are...

Tom is living in London having graduated
and now working and living in London

Olly is working
and living at home

and Laura is
doing her AS exams

it was difficult when they
first started to move away

all those memories of
the children growing up

it's like a closed chapter now
as you can't bring those days back

what I admire about the
young today is their confidence

and that's what
I wished I'd had

they just seem to take
life and deal with it

What sort of
things do you do?

Ride, swim, play
tennis, ping-pong

and I might
play croquet

something
like that

I did have a
privileged childhood

but you have to take responsibility
for your life somewhere along the line

and some people take
responsibility earlier than others

I was just a bit
later in taking it

maybe now is
the first time that...

I actually feel happy within my own
skin, it's taken me a long time to do it

but I feel that I can accept wrong
decisions that I've made in the past

I'm comfortable with it
now, I can live with it

So what's it been like for
you being in these films?

Very difficult
very painful

not an experience
I've enjoyed in any way

every seven years
it throws up issues that...

we all learn to put
into compartments

and then it all gets opened
up again and it's difficult

we were all landed in it and most of us
for whatever reason have chosen to do it

I'm not an outgoing
confident person

I like my privacy,
I don't like...

however many million
people picking over my life

and is that what
they do, you think?

I think for a couple of minutes,
yes, then it's yesterdays news

and people seem to read into
what they think we all think

which I find
very hurtful

as most of them come up with things that
are not like what's going on in my head

I think she
might be alright

What's the point of people going
into peoples lives and saying

"Why do you like this and why
don't you?" I don't see any point in it

So have you had enough
of being in the film?

who knows in seven years
whether it will be done again but...

this is
me saying

hopefully I'll reach my half century
next year and I shall bow out

When I grow up I'd like to find
out all about the moon and all that

Nick, a farmer's son, grew
up in the Yorkshire dales

I said I was interested in physics and
chemistry, well I'm not going to do that here

at fourteen he was
away boarding school

and at twenty-one
reading physics at Oxford

So what career are
you going to pursue?

It depends whether I'll be good
enough to do what I want to really do

I would like if I
can to do research

By twenty-eight he
had moved to America

and was doing nuclear research
at the University of Wisconsin

The fusion reaction gives off energy
and produces the power that would

be turned into electrical energy
and sent out to the consumer

- How hot is it in there?
- In there, it's about ten million degrees

at thirty-five he was an
associate professor

and at forty-two,
a full professor

and I've spent the last year
and a half writing a couple of books

my ambition is to be more famous for
doing science than for being in this film

but unfortunately
it's not going to happen!

Over the years, Nick's
research hit trouble

and by forty-nine he's
had to abandon it

because the containers needed to store
the hot gases couldn't be developed

Was there a moment when you realised all
you'd been doing wasn't going to work?

I think it was more gradual, I didn't
want to admit it for quite a while

I really believed in it,
it was a huge let down

so the area that I'm
looking at is this times this

I don't know why I have a compulsion
to teach, it was always there in me

I just wanted to do it,
I thought I'd be good at it

when I go into a classroom
I try to explain to them...

why they might want to do it, that's
my attempt to open a door for them

so I'm hoping you will remember
me being very stupid and saying...

"Ow, there's arrows coming
out of here" can we do that?

they can get
information from a book

I have to make the information
more interesting than a book

I'm doomed to do this
over and over and over...

and nobody's ever said
that I was a typical engineer

the under-graduates tell jokes about
engineer's, the only one I can repeat is

How can you tell if an
engineer is an extrovert?

and the answer is - He looks at
YOUR shoes when he's talking to you

somebody had a theory that scientists
and mathematicians are almost autistic

I could easily be
borderline autistic!

I don't quite understand how other
people feel about things at times

Do you have
a girl friend?

I don't want
to answer that

I don't want to answer
those kind of questions

I thought that one would
come up because when I was...

when I was doing the
other one somebody said

"what do you think about girls?" and
I said "I don't answer questions like that

is that the reason you're
asking it? yeah I thought so

the best answer would be to say
that I don't answer questions like that

it was what I said when I was
seven and it's still the most sensible

but I mean,
what about them?

Nick was only seventeen
when I first met him

If you've been
somebody who...

who had fixed ideas of a woman's
role in marriage that meant...

dinner on the table
at six every evening

Didn't I tell you
about that?

His wife Jackie also taught at the
university and they had a son, Adam

six years ago
they divorced

Well it was
incredibly hard

what I concluded, and I've talked to
other people who have gone through it

I'm not sure if they feel it as strongly
as I did but it was like a death

Anything could happen,
we could easily drift apart

there are so many
pressures on people

If your spouse died you could look back
and say "it was wonderful while it lasted"

but in a divorce you
can't look back and say...

"these are all
happy memories"

it wasn't
my decision

she went to England,
her father was ill

by the time she'd landed he'd
died and when she came back...

it was like a different
person came back

was I
responsible?

I could've been
braver about some things

but if I'd been braver
it might've ended sooner

you can talk to me by myself outside but
I'll just meet you by the garage, ok?

- Alright
- Alright bye

It's enormously hard to deal
with, the worst part of it was...

seeing how it
would affect my son

- How old was he?
- Ten

when he was first told he
was terribly, terribly upset

then he just pulled himself together and
didn't want to talk about it anymore

he's made the most of
it, I mean the best of it

made the best
that he can of it

take it easy Adam, the
main thing is not to crash

- Really? You don't like me crashing?
- No!

- How does he deal with it now?
- He doesn't talk to me about it much...

at all, he's a
private person

it's very, very
hard for me to be...

spending a large part of my
time with him not around

Hey
Graham

what
you doing?

I had to go to a graduation, one of
my students was getting his PHD

and he insisted I
go there with him

and I looked around and the
person behind me was Chris

Hey
Graham

who is my
new wife

are
you ok?

- Did you fall in love quickly?
- Immediately

Except you decided that if I
couldn't find you I had failed the test

I decided it was
his work to find me

we did shake hands at
the end of graduation

stood up and said who we
were but he immediately forgot

he couldn't
remember

"ok I know who she is so I don't have to
worry about that anymore" so I forgot!

I do!
that's very me

she came down to the school to meet me
and I barely knew what she looked like

I looked at her and thought "I guess
that's her" and I looked and did this

and she did a mirror image of
that gesture and I thought...

I can't explain but I felt very strongly
drawn to her by that little gesture

and there was no way I would
say no to being married to this man

I wanted to
be with him

has he changed
my life? dramatically

have I changed as
a person? I hope so

I don't mean to be superficial but she's
the most beautiful woman I've ever seen

- Is he sexy?
- Hell yes!

absolutely

didn't you have
fun with that one?

I only have one child, Courtney
and he only has one child

there's a
symmetry with that

Would you ever have
wanted a child together?

well absolutely but it's
not exactly practical

- So we're just...
- No...

and Graham's added an
element that's just joy

and I know Nick likes little
guys, he just likes little kids

they'd like to come out for
a holiday in the country

when I'd like to have
a holiday in the town

it is very difficult being
in a place where you're...

far way from all your background and
you don't have any support network

my parents are alive, they've both
had very significant health issues

my father keeps pointing out
that old age isn't for sissy's

you need
a secretary

Nick has two younger brothers back
in England, Andrew and Christopher

Christopher, the deaf one got
divorced and he said to my mother...

"that if Nicky could do
it then so could I"

so that
changed

Are you
missing England?

I always
miss England

I was really not the sort of person
who should ever have moved very far

When he was forty-two we took Nick
back to where he grew up in the Dales

What did you learn here
that you've carried with you?

I feel as if you could look
deep somewhere inside me

I feel like there's some
of this in me somewhere

I think of it as being
magnificent but rather grim really

it's very uncompromising and
sometimes it's rather tragic

but it makes other places you
go seem rather trivial as well

We call it one
of our Dales rooms

we have things that reflect the Dales,
we have cards that we've framed and...

some of the china from Nick's
family is displayed up here

well we're driving from
Madison to Minneapolis

as Chris lives in Minneapolis
and I live in Madison so...

we go up and down
alternate weekends

does it put stress on the relationship,
these separations and re-uniting?

I would say absence makes
the heart grow fonder really

Chris lives in Minneapolis, a
five hour drive from Madison

where she's an associate professor
in the department of education

Hey, want to
see something?

- Work's a big part of both
of your lives? - It is - Yes

So we're
both workaholics

Is there anything in him
you would like to change?

Well that would be a really
risky business wouldn't it

I thought you had
changed... if... no?

Y'know, you don't mess
with mother nature

in terms of little things like how
someone does their toothpaste

those silly
nonsense things

he would not just say yes,
he immediately attended to it

I'd never been with anyone who did so I
have to be careful what I ask him to do

Oh go easy on the
butter please, alright

okay

I could see it
being a slippery slope

I didn't want to go that
way in terms of my...

- ordering his life - She didn't want
to make too many demands

I didn't want him to
be a different person

If I could change the world,
I'd change it into a diamond

I think this film is
extremely important

it's important to me but it seems to
be important to other people as well

that doesn't make
it an easy thing

it's an incredibly
hard thing to be in

and I can't even begin to describe how
emotionally draining and wrenching it is

just to make the film
and to do the interviews

and that's even when I'm pretending
that nobody else is watching it

I think it's a heavy reminder
that he's missing his roots

there's an awful
lot of emotions...

attached to having a scrap
book that's as vivid as this

I'm going to work
in Woolworths

Lynn is the third of
our Eastend girls

she went to primary
school with Jackie and Sue

but chose to go onto
a grammar school

at twenty-one, she set out on
a career as children's librarian

in a mobile
library in East London

- Have I stamped yours?
- Yes

I've not
stamped yours

Sleeping
Beauty

Teaching children
the beauty of books

and watching their faces
as books unfold for them

is just
fantastic

to work with children of that
age you've got to love them

and I
love children

Because of cuts in the education
budget the mobile library was shut down

at forty-two, Lynne was
working at Bethnall Green library

you can draw,
better than I can

At forty-nine,
she's still there

Good morning,
well what about you?

good morning, are
you going to say hello?

How much of your work
is with people like this?

Probably five percent,
it's a very small part of it

but probably, currently the
most challenging part of it

- Elephant?
- He's an elephant, where's the elephant?

We still get six other schools
regularly send classes in here

it's busy
most days

Well I know he loves
her and he loves her

I don't
I love him

I've been married
a year and...

a couple
of months

you do think "christ,
what have I done?"

When she was nineteen
she married Russ

We married young but because we
wanted to go out and have fun together

thirty years and we're still together,
he's my soul mate, he's my partner

we respect
each other

hence, he is not here and
you will not see him on this film

because he has
always felt that the...

intrusion into our private
life that this causes is too much

I wanted, white
wedding, all trimmings

Russ would've been
satisfied with very little

Are you
in love?

very, very much

he knows how much I love him and in
my heart I know how much he loves me

I put him on the
spot sometimes

if I could I would have
two girls and two boys

Yeah so
would I

Lynne and Russ have two
daughters, Sara and Emma

Emma's an installation
co-ordinator for the company

Sara is an
accessories buyer

it's a family
run business

At forty-two the girls were
both doing very well at school

- Alright darling?
- Yeah

- Neither of the girls went to university?
- No

- Was that disappointing to you?
- No, their choice

we discussed it, it's
what they wanted to do

they felt that the academic
side wasn't for them

you have to accept
that it's their lives

and you can only guide
and be there for them

- Oh you big boy
- Where's your drink

- So you've got a grandson?
- He's a lovely lad, he really is

I'm watching him in
the same way from...

twenty-one years ago when I held
Sara up, when she was just born

and now I'm watching Emma, and
what goes around comes around

as Emma now says that she says things to
Connor that she heard me saying to her

that still catches me out when I hear
me say something that was purely my mum

So was the arrival of
Connor a shock to you?

No! well
yeah! but...

as soon as Emma
was expecting Connor

I got the phone call
"mum I need to meet you"

so she told me face to face
that she was expecting, fine

she was nineteen,
she's old enough

when she was thirty-five,
Lynne was having health problems

they stuck all these
tubes up inside me

and discovered that
I've got these veins

up here, that
shouldn't be there

- In your brain?
- Yes

- And what can they do about it?
- Not a lot at the moment

No
change

it's not going away but it's
no more problems, nothing...

you have the aches
and pains of getting older

I've got bi-lateral carpal tunnel
syndrome in both my wrists

guess who had
it? my mother!

but it comes and go hence
the magnetic bracelets which help

but you have
to overcome it

- What's white?
- Red

Yeah we know
that's red

for the last thirty years I've been
banging my head against a brick wall...

to maintain children's services
but this time no ones listening

we've just
done purple

they say that the work that
I do, that anybody can do it

- Blue
- Blue

there would be no
specialist running it

one

I may not
have a job

- Hern loves Tintin
- Hern absolutely adores Tintin

It's cost
cutting

- So that's what it's about?
- Yes

they would
deny that

are you going to
speak to me today?

- No?
- No?

lets
hear you!

- Is it emotionally very demanding
working with people like this? - Yes

but it's
so fulfilling

that it...
beyond belief

Azir, can you say it
for me? I know you can

but are
you... no!

you're not
going to do it today

Azir spoke to me on the
phone a couple of years ago

the first time he
had ever spoken to me

and it
really got me

it's extremely difficult
for him to speak...

and when he does you know
he's making so much effort

and it
gets me

excellent

- Well done Azir
- Thank you Azir

- Come a long way since the back of a van
- I was on the back of a bus yesterday!

we took a bus out to a school that was
having a book week just around the corner

and...

I had forgotten
how much it sways

where's
your stamp?

- It's been a hell of a commitment
for you hasn't it? - Yeah but...

but it
will end

- Has it been worth it all?
- Yes very much

Come on,
speed it up

all these things that I have said over
the years are flying through my mind now

but yes, it has
been worth it

and you better cut it 'cause
otherwise I'm going to cry

What do you think
about rich people?

Well...
not much

Tell me
about them

Well they think they can do
everything without you doing it as well

Simon was brought
up in a children's home

the only child of
a single parent

Rich people have
all different things

they have everything they want whereas
poor people don't have anything

and they know they haven't got anything
so they know they're missing something

What are
you missing?

Well I'd probably
say a bike and...

a
fishing rod

Twenty
years ago

when I
was born

an
illegitimate child

that's something that's
only whispered about

people feel strongly
about it in those days

but
nowadays it's..

it's not a
serious matter

the serious point is whether you
stay with someone or you leave them

since
twenty-one

I've got married,
had a couple of kids

By twenty-eight he had married
Yvonne and they had five children

well I don't think there's anybody else
I could've ever married except Yvonne

she gives me my
life really because

we're together, we have
the children and everything

By thirty-five
they were divorced

at forty-two he had
married Vienetta

we used to go out when we were
younger, we met in the laundrette

- Once a week!
- Once a week in the laundrette!

One stage we went to a
marriage guidance 'cause the...

pressures of being together were getting
to us as we are two very different people

I'm very
laid back

as she always says, if I go
any further back I'll fall over!

when two people are together after
both having separate lives it is hard

silly things like leaving
the toilet seat up

or if I put something here I expect to
see it here and Simon can be very untidy

he'll take everything of and
fling it around the house

- Sorry dear
- I don't want it all mixed up

Is he
romantic?

If we've had an argument and he doesn't
know, as I will shout and he'll think...

"what have
I done?"

and I'll be here, like now,
and I'll see some flowers

and a bottle of
wine or something

and he'll say "I don't know
what I've done but I'm sorry"

Vienetta already had
a daughter, Miriam

and she and Simon
have a son, Daniel

Is there anything
of you in him?

his dashing good looks, that's me!
and his love of sport as well

he goes to school in Slough as that's
where they do grammar schools

he's doing
very well there

They say "Where's your
father then?"

y'know when your mums out at
work "Where's your father?"

and I just tell them
I ain't got one

they've got
everything then

they've even got
what I never had

- Which is what?
- A father isn't it!

so they've
had everything

at one stage they all
stopped seeing me at all

but now, a bit
older, a bit wiser...

and I'm a bit older and wiser
and now three of them see me

Jessica has been very busy,
she's got her work and college

- Who do you support? - Man united -
So your lot came second?

Jonathon's been in a transitional
period with changing jobs and...

building up
his new life

the two that don't see me, I
can't really see their point of view

So what's it like
being a grandfather?

It's bloody easy actually! you can see
them all day long and then they go back

- and you've got one?
- Two actually

one that
I see

and one that I would only see
if I kept going round to see him

otherwise I wouldn't see him so
I'm waiting for a return visit now

before I'm old
enough to get a job

I'll just walk around
and see what I can find

I was going to
be a film star, but

now I'm going to be an electrical
engineer which is more to reality really

By twenty-one Simon was working in the
freezer room of Walls sausages in London

I know I can't stay at
Walls forever, it's just not me

I couldn't stay there for that
long, my mind would go dead

I'm quite happy
to stay there

it doesn't look like it's going
to close down, so I mean...

better the devil
you know isn't it

Walls did close
the factory down

since then he has worked near
Heathrow airport handling freight

the only reason I went there was to
work near to where my son went to school

so I could take
him there

Do you feel you could've done
more with a career with your work?

If I'd pushed myself at school
probably I could've done a lot better

Does that give you
pause for thought?

No that means I was a
lazy sod when I was younger

somebody said "you don't
live to work, you work to live"

and that's how
it should be

A couple of years ago Simon and Vienetta
decided to train as foster parents

I went to boarding school when I was
young and I felt that was regimental

they didn't allow for personal
cares, for loving from the adult carers

so I wanted to do something
like that in my own home

and we always
say to foster carers

"please do not cut the children's hair
without the permission of the parents"

What's the toughest thing
about being a foster parent?

You're taking a chance when you do it as
you really don't know what you're getting

one child had two knives in her hand as
she didn't want to stay in this country

- Two knives in her hand!
- Did she threaten you?

No she was just
a threat to herself

some of them come back, they phone
you up and say "hello auntie and uncle"

they come and have Sunday
dinner and visit us which is good

at least you know you made a
little difference to that child's life

we have Heathrow
in our area

and that gives us extra things
foster carers might need to do

So where are these children coming
from that come to your house?

All over
the world

- Anywhere
- Anywhere

when they come off the plane
they expect to meet somebody

but that person
doesn't turn up

Simon had been at the
children's home with Paul

so we brought Paul back from
Australia to re-unite them

- was it good though?
- yeah yeah

and you can see
Windsor Castle from there

oh wow,
look at that

we don't actually see or touch each
other but we're living each others lives

every seven years
it all comes back

and we get up to this far and we've
done this and you've done that

When they
were twenty-one

we took them back to where they spent
some of their formative years together

- Yeah
- He was a real bastard

I do try to be
disciplined but...

I actually
hate discipline

I believe the school
has taught me that

There's always been a
bit of turmoil inside

I believe that

I can get on well with
my mother sometimes

we talk very well
with each other

but it's..

sometimes not quite
as mother and son

When he was thirty-five,
Simon's mother died of cancer

there was so many things I
never actually said to my mum

just things you think about afterwards, it's
too late because they're not there any more

What sort
of things?

Just, I love you
every day, and...

Later on in life I did realise
she got depressed as well so...

that was probably a bigger reason
than not being able to look after me

My mum wrote to me when I was twenty-one
and I never had any contact with her

When I was twenty-one she came out an visited

I did grow up without her so it
was like looking at a total stranger

I didn't recognise
her at all

so there was no real
indepth feeling there

Come on get in there
next to him as well

come on, let me
get you organised

Are these two
guys very alike?

Well I think
they are as...

they don't rush into things, they
stand back and have a look at it

you make them
enjoy their self's, like..

when we went for
a walk yesterday I said...

"You ARE coming and you ARE having a good
time" and he did have a good time so...

they're both very
family orientated

- and they've both married noisy women!
- That's true!

that works
for me

I had a dream when all the
world was on top of me...

and everything was on me,
and I just about got out

and everything
flew up in the air...

I still look up in the sky as
I don't know any better

everything I have,
I always think...

"Is that OK? is it right
that I should have that?"

people are
undecided about you

they can be friend one
day and not the next

I wanted to be a
boxer, actor... but...

but I never actually
really wanted them

I just wanted
to be liked

That's all Paul
wants out of people

people to like him for
who he is and what he is

without having to put
on any false pretences

so I think that's why he
doesn't open himself up to people

- Do you have any regrets?
- Yes I do...

that we didn't get
together earlier

- I think marriage is good for me
- What does she give you?

Hot dinners
and a warm bed!

I don't
know!

she gives me a
balance in my life because...

on my own I would
probably be your typical slob

men
behaving badly

we do get things done
and we do things together

...multiply by
four and divide...

Is it tough for the two of
you being in these films?

I will say that I do love
watching everybody else

but I always hate them
and by the end I hate you lot too!

direct all of my anger
in one place y'know!

I read the
Financial Times

I read the Observer
and the Times

What do you
like about it?

Well
I like...

I usually look at the headlines
then read about it

At seven years old, John,
Andrew and Charles...

were in a private
preparatory school in London

What's the point
of the program?

it's the point of the program
is to reach a comparison

and I don't
think it is

- Good point
- Because we're not typical examples

and I think that's what people
seeing the program might think

falsely

That's one of the troubles
with this sort of program

I don't really
think that people like us

Unless we're seven and being rather
funny, have very much to say that's...

very interesting,
because I mean...

we don't know
very much

Well we didn't know very
much when we were seven

- But we were still quite funny
- We were at least funny!

What do you think about
girlfriends at your age?

I've got one but I
don't think much of her

They're no
longer just bores

"We won't play this"
or something

they're the other half of
the community and they're there

and you can begin
to talk to them

I don't think I financially come
from the same background

Andrew didn't go for a classy debutante,
he went for a good Yorkshire lass

but obviously he knew
what he wanted

Does money
concern you a lot?

No I think as long as one
has enough to be comfortable

that's really what
one should aim for

What's the most difficult thing about
keeping the marriage together?

I don't think it is
particularly difficult actually

we seem to
manage alright

- Would you say?
- I think so, we talk don't we

So how is
married life?

Well I still Love him if
that's what you're asking

and
likewise

I'm going to
Charterhouse

and after that,
Trinity Hall Cambridge

Andrew went to Charterhouse
and Cambridge, where he read law

I'd like to
be a solicitor

and also fairly
successful

at twenty-eight
Andrew was a solicitor

What qualities do you think
it needs to be successful?

Well you have to have a legal
ability in my business, obviously

by thirty-five he had
become a partner

In a couple of weeks we're
having a legal conference in Dublin

At forty-nine, Andrew
has left the law firm

I've moved to a large industrial
gas's company which makes...

oxygen and nitrogen,
hyrdrogen, things like that

Were you
taking a chance?

Ye's, I've been at the same
firm for over twenty years

but it's not
very challenging

and changing
like this

particularly quite late in your
career, stretches you

I think it's not a bad
idea to pay for schools

because if
we didn't

schools would be so
nasty and crowded

Yes, so do
I think so

and the people in the schools wouldn't...
and the poor people would come rushing in

and the man in charge of the
school would get very angry

and he would
get bankrupt

he wouldn't be able to pay all the
teachers if he didn't get any money

education is
very important

and you can never be sure of leaving
your children any wordly goods, but

at least you can be sure that once
you've given them a good education

that's something that
no one can take away

Andrew and Jane have two
sons, Alexander and Timothy

Alexander's at univeristy in
his first year at Newcastle

and Timothy's at
boarding school

I think he'd like to go to university
but that's as far as he's thought

over the summer holidays we
might talk about other universities

Andrew and Jane live in London but
they have a second home in the country

Well we bought it just
when we got married

it was a two-hundred year
old barn we bought in an auction

completely derelict, nothing
in it at all except for manure

and slowly over the years
we've just been converting it

but it's really taken us up
until recently to do that

Holly
come on

there's a railway line that runs
along the bottom of our land

there's foxes down there, we've
been seeing a few cubs recently

What sort of hobbies
does Alexander enjoy?

Well on the odd occassion he's
quite keen on doing what we call...

dangerous
sports

and we're going to treat
him to a balloon ride

in advance of his birthday
which is coming up soon

- Here we go
- See you later

I have been in a balloon once
myself, it was for my fathers birthday

it was all going well until the end
when we managed to hit some trees

Oh don't tell
me that now

and the basket
landed on its side

It's very
high, very high

When we landed there
was a request that...

that all the ladies go down wind
so that we could land on top of them

Once I had a talk to Grevil,
he was in my class

and

I asked Sir if he could put him out of my
class as he was always getting minuses

Do you think life is tougher for
your children than it was for you?

Yes certainly, I think it's much
more competetive for children

When I leave the school, I go
to Broadstairs, St. Peter's Court

when you look back at us at age seven
and I was saying what I was going to do

it's as if my life was
mapped out for me

you could never get a child saying
that now "I'm going to go to Cambridge"

things have become
less certain as a result

- and you three had huge opportunities
- we did, absolutely yes

Well I think boarding makes
you feel self-sufficient

and also it teaches you to be
away from your parents

who was the big influence in giving
you a sense of proprotion and value?

Well obviously
it's your parents

they bring you up for your
first eighteen years of life

Well I have my
bath at six o'clock...

Do you ever look back and
wish anything differently?

perhaps as the children were growing
up I'd liked to have spent more time...

at home with them,
rather than in the office

but obviously that's
too late to do now

So everything we
say, they'll think

"well that's a typical result
of the public school system"

when we were seven, fourteen and twenty-one
we were prepared to say what we thought

but we've become more
guarded over the years

What are you
guarded about?

I'm guarded about
being guarded!

Here
we go

- So did you have to fall on the ladies?
- No the lady fell on me

but it was my wife
so that was good

When I
leave school

I'm going to The
Dragon School, I might

and after I might go to
Charterhouse Marlborough

I don't particularly want to be rich
but I'd like to have enough money

Charles went to Marlborough
and then onto Durham university

since twenty-one he's taken
no further part in these films

when I leave this school
I'm going to Collet Court

and then I would be going to Westminster
Boarding School if I pass the exam

and then we think I'm going
to Cambridge and Trinity Hall

John went to Westminster and
read Law at Christchurch Oxford

I'm thinking of following
a legal career...

with a view to
ending in parliament

Might be in
the courts

Doing
what?

Perhaps
Chancery practise

I now have a career,
I'm a Barrister

other than that life chugs
along in varying degrees

well in a sense nothing's has changed
in my job in the last fourteen years

I'm still a barrister, I still
wear a curly white wig

the only visible difference is I wear
a silk gown as I'm now a Q.C.

- Are you ambitious?
- Yes

- What for?
- Fame

and
power

- what sort of power?
- political power

I'd quite like to go into politics but
that's easier said than done

I have thought about trying to
get myself on the candidates list

but who knows, I haven't written
myself off as a potential politician...

even though I'm
already forty-nine

I worry about the quality of our
democracy, I worry about this government

not because they're socialists and
will round us all up and take us off

Trafalgar square to face
the guillotine, far from it...

Tony Blair is a very good
conservative as I see it

but rather because of the insidious
damage they are doing to our constitution

The rich children always
make fun of poor children

it's very irresponsible as we all want
more money as much money as we can get

The acquisition of lots and lots of money
is not something I set much importance by

I'm not money
minded in that sense

Obviously it's nice to have
a fair amount of money

and it does enable you to go on
nice holidays, buy nice things, but...

as a goal in itself? no, who want's to
be the richest corpse in the graveyard?

By the time he was thirty-five, John had
a house in London and one in the country

I seem to spend a lot
of time gardening furiously

trying to tame the wilderness
that we inherited there

I'd have laughed if ten years
ago you'd have told me that

I'd spend most of my time digging
herbacious borders and things

but that's what I seem
to do and I enjoy it

one good thing about having a large
house in the country now is that

I've taken up
playing the piano

Its a very nonchalant little theme,
butter wouldn't melt in its mouth

Take it very quietly and
let it just present itself

A couple of years ago I did start
again and even practising, but I'm afraid...

I've lost an awful I
ot of dexterity

whether it's old age and arthritis or
it's falling off horses too many times

I don't know but I don't feel I've
got quite the dexterity in my fingers

Certainly I can never tell the difference
between you playing and the CD playing

- When I'm out of the room, he's very good
- She's very diplomatic

No no
it's true

When boys go around with girls they
don't pay attention to what they're doing

for instance my grandmother
had an accident, because

a boyfriend was kissing
his girlfriend in the street

By thirty-five John
had married Claire

the daughter of a former
ambassador to Bulgaria

It is coincidental
that we met but..

it's obvious that the Balkan
connection was a strong mutual interest

We have a charity,
Friends of Bulgaria

which started
in 1991

which made quite a lot of money we
then invested and took out to Bulgaria

we support some children's
homes in Stara Zagora

an institution for
disabled children

and we make donations
to other charities

people who talk about the government
butchering the National Health Service

I think should come
over to Bulgaria

to see what being kept short of necessary
supplies and funds really does mean

we've been told in some places
it's impossible to do operations

albeit they have the operating
theatres and excellent doctors

for want of simple
anaesthetics

Up until then there had been no provision
for education of disabled children

so we started what
was called a Parralleca

which is parrallel education
for the disabled

and we've now got
two classes here

Claire and I have been giving prizes
to the most talented children in town

this school that we're in was built by
my family at the end of the 19th century

and they also used
to present prizes...

to the best children each year right
until the advent of communism in 1944

I come from a
very old family

with big traditions of
service to this country

and

when I come here I feel
very proud of them

as I feel in so many ways
they've helped build Bulgaria

this church is
quite interesting

it was built by my great great
great grandfather in 1835

they say he made off
with eight tons of gold

and even today the mountains
are full of treasure hunters

who keep digging up all the caves
in hope of finding the treasure

I wish I
could find it

once I'd refinded my
equitable life pension fund

I
reckon...

shoot the horses,
shoot the wife and...

and only drink Bulgarian wine I
may be able to retire aged 94 or something

Straw McAnessy got three
minuses in a day, he's a pest

it has to be said that I bitterly regret
that the headmaster of the school

where I was when I was seven,
pushed me forward for this series

because every seven years a
little pill of poison is injected into...

Oh no!

Well that's
just the truth

there are times when
I've felt appearing on this...

may get causes near to
my heart a bit of publicity

and certainly, when you came
to Bulgaria for the 35up program

that did lead to us getting
quite significant assistance

which possibly we
wouldn't have got

well I think it's a
very good system

I suspect that why this program is
compelling and interesting for viewers

and I quite see why
it is because really...

it's like Big Brother or I'm a
Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

it is actually
real life TV

with the added bonus that you can see
people grow old, lose their hair, get fat

fascinating I'm sure, but does it have
any value? that's a different question

Well we pretend
we've got swords

and we make the noises
of the swords fighting

and when somebody stabs
us we go "ARRGHHH!"

Neil grew up
in a Liverpool suburb

he had dreams of going
to Oxford but didn't get in

instead he went to
Aberdeen university

but dropped out
after the first term

at twenty-one he was
working on a building site

and living
in a squat

I would like to be somebody in a position
of importance and I've always thought this

but I don't think I'm the right sort
of person to carry the responsibility

for whatever it is, I always
thought well I'd love to be...

possibly even love to be in
politics or something like this

by twenty-eight
he was homeless

wandering around the
West coast of Scotland

if the money runs out then for a
few days there's nowhere to go to

and that's all you can do, I simply have
to find the warmest shed I can find

How do people
regard you here?

Well I'm still known
as an eccentric

I'm not claiming that I feel as
though I'm in some sort of Nirvana, but

I'm claiming that if I was living in a
bed-sit in suburbia I'd be so miserable

I'd feel like
cutting my throat

At thirty-five we found him
living on a council estate

in the most Northernly part
of Britain, the Shetland Islands

it's an environment which sustains
me, it's one in which I can survive

and the reason I don't
feel safe is because

I think I'm getting more and
more used to this lifestyle

which eventually I
shall have to give up

and what would you like to
be doing say in seven years?

I can think of all kinds of things I'd
like to be doing the real question is

what am I likely
to be doing?

What are you
likely to be doing?

That's a horrible
question

I think most likely I'll be wandering
homeless around the streets of London

but with a bit of luck
that won't happen

I'll just point out some of the
considerable disadvantages

first of all they are
geographically isolated

by 42, Neil had moved to London and
was a liberal democrat on Hackney council

While I was in Shetland I felt strongly
that I should become involved in politics

simply because I felt I wasn't acheiving
things in the way I wanted to

I didn't expect to
see you driving Neil

Well neither did I, if you'd
asked me that question...

a few years ago
I'd have been surprised

but it was my
brother's wife's car

and fortunately she was about
to change vehicles at the time

and they let me have it without charge
which was a very magnimious gesture

At 49 Neil
has left London

moved to Cumbria in the
North West of England

and become a member of
the local district council

chairman, fairly simple, it was a
committee decision, a majority decision

his own group on the establishment
committee agreed with the decision

Councillor
Hughes

For Councillor
Nyam's information

Councillor Cook has reconsidered his
opinion you ventured at that meeting

I'm a liberal democrat, I'm
standing for the county council

for this seat which is
400 square miles in size

so it's a huge
constituency

- and this is one of the 84 seats
- and who has this seat at the moment?

it's a conservative
councillor at the moment

- a big majority?
- significant

there's a lot of work for me to do and
if not this time maybe next time

what are the
chances this time?

I'm doing
my best

funnily enough, when
I first came up here

I was considering
giving it up altogether

but after only two days
I just got involved again

maybe it's impossible
to give up politics

I have a lot of respect for the liberal
dem's but don't think I'll vote for them

because I'll vote
for Mr McClean

and he's keen on preserving our way
of country life with hunting in particular

it's already disadvantaged us
since the problems with foot and mouth

well certainly
more people vote

perhaps they see the impact more starkly
on their lives than those in London

I found in many parts of London
there was a huge apathy because...

because it seemed
like they used to say

"it doesn't matter who you
vote for, the government always gets in"

So when I saw you 7 years ago you
seemed content and happy in London

so why
the change?

I neither felt that
I was satisfying...

the community around me, nor
did I feel I was satisfying myself

and that was obviously
not an ideal situation

at 42 when Neil first arrived in
London from the Shetland Islands

he lodged
with Bruce

he was a
model host

although he did
always insist on

measuring the amount of
bathwater there was in the bath!

and I'm not quite
sure why that was

he'd find the fridge a bit
noisy so he'd turn it off!

I had occassions where
he'd walk round the block or...

No I accept that I wasn't
the model lodger in every way

however that only emphasises
how patient you actually were

I've had little contact with Bruce,
we've exchanged one or two letters

but

maybe ours was a friendship
which had flourished

it was a genuine friendship
in the circumstances...

in which we found
ourselves in London

I think that's what
happens in life, you...

people you are close to and
then circumstances drift you apart

and you find
other peopleand...

you wonder sometimes what's happening
to them and hope they're alright...

but that's what
happens in life

in the winter if you
live in the country

it would just all be wet and there
wouldn't be anything for miles around

I feel, especially sometimes
when I'm on my own

that I'm losing touch with
the way other people live

Do you worry
about your sanity?

Other people sometimes
worry about it

Like
who?

As I said I sometimes can start
behaving in an erratic fashion

sometimes I get very
frustrated, very angry

for no apparent reason, for a reason that
won't be apparent to people around me

Do you ever think
you're going mad?

Oh I don't think
it, I know it

well
'cause...

we're not allowed to use the
word mad but you know...

I think most people
are mad here, really

How's
your health?

It's probably very good at the moment
and living in this rural setting...

is obviously healthier
than living in a city

there is
less stress

I ended up with a
former council flat

which is nothing luxurious
but I was lucky to get it

and as soon as I could see
the view out of my window

across the stream and trees
and the hills in the background

I knew I was in
the right place

I know that many people say they
feel closer to god in the countryside

I wouldn't want to be
simplistic about it but because...

one is much
closer to natural life

one is therefore much
closer to the springs of life

- Yes I'd say I believed in god
- Are you religious?

Well I go to church with
my parents on Sundays

well I don't know now even
if I believe in god or not

I've thought an awful
lot about it actually

and I still
don't know

And how's he
been treating you?

Well I said to
somebody last week

that I preferred the old testament
to the new testament

because in the old testament,
god is very unpredictable

and that's how I've
seen him in my life

#my
jesus#

#my
saviour#

#lord there is
none like you#

#tower of refuge
and strength#

remembering
Jim and Ann

Bruce
and Julia

- and Doreen as well
- Doreen

I was first a Lay
Reader in London

after completeting more training I was
re-licensened by the bishop of Carlisle

nature's lovely,
nature's made by god

it gives me the peace of mind to accept
when things don't go the way they want to

politics can be a
very bruising game

- I will maintain my faith, I will
continue to trust in god - Yes

I'm absolutely sure that my faith has
helped me through these difficult times

Would you ever see you
having a career in the church?

While I have a dedication to the church
I haven't experienced what I would call

a calling into the priesthood
or anything of that kind

so the answer is
no at the moment

when I grow up I want
to be an astronaut

but if I can't be an astronaut
I think I'll be a coach driver

if the state didn't give us any money,
it would probably just mean crime

and I'm glad I don't have
to steal to keep myself alive

Neil spends one day a week
doing voluntary work for Oxfam

I enjoy doing this, it's relaxing, I love
books and I enjoy the company here

I'd much rather have a fulltime
job where I was being paid

but because of
the coucil work I do...

I really want a job in the rest of
my time that isn't too stressfull

well these are all �6:99 new so
I'm putting them in at �1:99

I get just over �200 a month
allowance for being councillor

on top of that I get �9 a
week job-seekers allowance

and I get my housing benefits
as well which pays my rent

and I did some teaching of French
to young children last year

and that was a very
useful income while I did it

When I go home, I come...

I come in and mummy
gives me a cup of tea...

I don't think I was taught any sort of
policy of living at all by my parents

this was probably
their biggest mistake

that I was just left
to fend for myself

in a world which they seemed
completely oblivious of

what I'd like most
of all would be...

to be able to do something for
my parents when they are older

to be there when
the time is neccesary

well my father
died five years ago

I do feel however that I'm a little
nearer to my mother since then

both geographically
and possibly emotionally

it's never been an easy relationship and
I'm not claiming everything is healed now

but I feel I can
speak to my mother

Do you miss
your dad?

I had a great relationship with my
father when I was much younger

my relationship with him did
deteriorate as I got older

I sometimes felt that he'd made the
wrong decision in advice he'd given me

or things he'd done but then
obviously he had his own life to lead!

just a few months before he died
we went together to a cricket match

well we had what I knew would be
the last long talk we would have

because he was
dying at the time then

and we were both relaxed as we were
doing something we enjoyed doing

which was relaxing in the
sunshine and watching sport

so I felt that some bridging of
the gap did take place that day

when I get married I don't want
to have any children because

they are always doing naughty things
and making the whole house untidy

I always told myself that I
would never have children

Why?

Because

children inherit something
from their parents

and even if my wife
were the most...

high spirited and ordinary
and normal of people

the child would still stand a very
fair chance of being not totally...

full of happiness because what he
or she will have inherited from me

no I've never married and I don't
have a girlfriend at the moment

it's one of the regrets of my
life actually that I've not met...

somebody of the other sex I thought I
could have a permament relationship with

but

I'm probably not the easiest
of people to get on with

I did have one girlfriend
for close on two years

so maybe I'm not as completely hopeless
a character as might seem to be the case

Do you miss a physical
side, a sexual side in your life?

I am a
physical person

so I imagine I could be happy in
a lasting relationship with somebody

but you have to
make do with reality

and there are many things that might've
happened in my life that haven't happened

and there is little point in being
regretful and angry about that

You seem to have a much stronger sense
of purpose to your life than before

I see that life comes
once and it's quite short

and you have to appreciate
what's good in it

and if I could just
tell a short story...

I was sunbathing and a
butterfly landed quite close to me

beautiful wings, deep red colours
and white circles on them

and

these creatures don't last very
long but it landed very close to me

it didn't
seem frightened

and it just seemed to delight
in opening and closing its wings

and just being beautiful for that
period of time enjoying the sunshine

perhaps there isn't anything
more to life than that

than just being
what you are

realising that life
goes on all around and...

there's millions of other living creatures
who all have to find their paths as well

At the end of their very
special day in London

after their trip to
the zoo and the party

we took our children to
an adventure playground

where they could do
just what they liked

those from a children's home
set about building a house

there's
Nicholas

and
Tony

Andrew

John

and
Bruce

Suzi

Jackie and
her friends

give me a child
until he is seven

and I will give
you the man

this has been a glimpse
of Britain's future