Original subtitles

So, except for our government research project, there's a shortfall for this quarter. Starting

today. Expense account lunches are limited to one entree and a single alcoholic beverage.

Johnson, good god, man, if you've got something to say, just say it.

Allow me to introduce ourselves. We are pterodactics, a name given us affectionately, with a nod

to our winged dinosaur friends. We fly, we've got tough hides, and we will snap your heads

off if you make any trouble. How come I'm missing all the good stuff? Right there. Oh my god,

I've got a room. Peter, stand still. Is this legal? Depends on how far they go. Oh, oh,

would you look at the time. I better get to class. You don't have another class today.

Well, then I'll find one. I'm trying to be more like you, Pete. Hey, the Benox. Keep

'em. There's plenty more where those came from. I think Harry thinks maybe we have things

to talk about. These Benox are pretty fly. Peter, I worry about you. Right, well, I know

you'd like me to say more, but the thing is, sometimes words just aren't enough. Really?

Really. Well, what would you say if you did have the words? Okay, let's see. I'd say,

holy crap. I gotta go. Where? Chem lab. You know, moved across campus. Gotta run.

The safe is only for sample items to display at board meetings. Sam, indeed. This safe

contains your company's prototype hybrid diamonds, the kind that will power your government's

new X-ray lasers. When I auction these off to my many clients around the globe, the U.S.

Missile Defense Shield will have to be retooled, and I will be quite wealthy. Okay, first thing

I'd spend it on, better outfits. That matching boyband look is so yesterday. Whoa. Good call.

I really love what you've done with the room. It'll look even better without you. You like

being a hero? Go for it. She was supposed to open the safe. We still have time to lazer

it. Not before Spiderman and the whole New York SWAT team arrive, you idiot. This isn't

over. Amazing. Actually, I just happened to be in the next building over. It was more

luck, really. The whole conference table goes out the window and doesn't hit anyone. What

are the chances? Like you said, amazing. Damn straight. Do you have any of this show

Spiderman cracking the safe? No, Spiderman, he didn't crack the safe. Those robbers were

going to. He chased them away. Spiderman hires robbers to crack safe, then chases them away.

That makes these photos worth $40. Great. Time six is $240. And Bolivian Passetas, maybe.

And Los Estados Unidos is still $40 for all six. Take it or leave it. Come on, come on.

I'm a busy man. As you can see from this video, Empire One's Man in the Street Cam showing

a traffic snarl at Columbus Circle and in other news. Fifty. And you have exclusive

rights to all still photos I took of that crime scene. You're tough, kid. $41.20 and

not a penny higher. Well, go, shoot. If you're going to send me to the poorhouse, at least

don't gloat about it. This is professional quality video, very slick. Then you'll buy

it. No way. A man in the street cam is strictly amateur, that's the charm of it. Could you

bring that over here? Put the orbs back in. You never saw anyone rehearse for the camera?

You don't have a camera. Well, I will have. I'm the new lifestyle reporter. Perhaps you've

seen me. Um, actually... Andy! I need that Midtown shooting

tape stat. My latte can wait. Oh, it must be urgent. Uh, I'm just checking

your ratings. Okay, I'm only a researcher. For now, I did do a piece on bosses who make

their flunkies lives a living hell, but it didn't air. I bet it was good. Indeed. I don't

suppose that's the Midtown shooting tape. Even better. You should get a look at this.

Hi, I'm Peter Parker. Indira Diamante. Everyone just calls me Indy.

Indy, where are you? You were watching exclusive Empire One video

of yesterday's daring 30th floor robbery attempt. Dude, let me get this straight. You charmed

Indy the researcher, and she got her producer to buy your video clips? Well, she thinks

I saved her life. Well, how'd you do that? Hypnosis? A fluke. Anyway, I thought I should

thank her. Custom CD. You woo master you. Just, you know, a little thank you. A card

says thank you. Cappuccino for two, thank you. But a custom CD. Too much? Weapon of

mass destruction. What would MJ say? Hopefully how proud she is of my growing photography

career. Oh yeah, that could happen. Peter, I feel like a skater gliding toward

you. Free and alive and excited. But then you keep veering to the side, and I always

end up headed right for a big freaking crack in the ice. Hi there. You might not have noticed,

but I'm a little confused about us. Peter, the word I'm looking for is consistency.

I think you know how much you mean to me. Well, you better know seeing as how... hmm,

let's see. Oh yeah, I told you. MJ? Peter, uh, hi. Peter, the word I'm looking for,

what's that? CD. CD with ribbon. Uh, gift. Really? For me? Well, who is it for? Uh,

researcher. At Empire One TV, this researcher just kind of helped me sell some news video.

Oh, that's nice. What's his name? It's, uh, she. It? She sounds lovely. Look, um, the

thing is... Do you want to go to a movie with me tonight?

You know, I was going to suggest the same thing, because, because... that would be terrific.

Good. We'll meet at the Drip Den. Seven o'clock. Uh, I've gotta go. Empire One. There it is.

The Empire One newsroom. Still don't see what this gets us. Look a little harder. They put

us on the news. Now we would pay the favor. Gentlemen, energize your weapons.

Hey, Indy. Well, Peter Parker. Up and coming news botog. What's this? A whole disc of

news videos? What do you do? Just stalk the police or... No. You perpetrate the crimes.

That's how you're always there. I saw that in a movie once, but nah, you've got too kind

of face. I can read faces. Excuse me. It's not news, actually. It's just a little thank

you. Wow. I do things for people all the time, and they never... Thanks. My stuff only got

onto the evening news because you helped out. Well, I would have been news on the evening

news if not for you. Young indentured servant meets tragic death doing what she loves best.

Pretending to report. You're gonna do it. I have a good feeling. Yeah. Hey, wait a minute.

Are you, like, a precog or something? Sometimes. What? Employees of Empire One, for those of

you who missed your own station's news coverage, we are Pterodactics. Kindly put all cell phones

into the receptacle my heavily armed colleague is passing around. Don't give him a hard time.

He will kill you. So, you and Peter, you don't keep secrets from each other, do you? We're

guys. It's not in our chemistry. I can tell you that without ever having stepped foot

in a chem lab. Okay, then tell me what's going on in that big brain of his. Oh, no. I know

where this is going. Really? And where's that? Wanna turn me into one of your chick friends?

Chick friends? You heard me. I'd like to think I didn't. Today you wanna confide in me about

Peter. Tomorrow you'll have me along shoe shopping. Okay, what do you wanna know? Actually,

I think you just explained everything. Listening is not your end of the species' best skill.

Guilty as charged. Whatever it is you said. The problem is simple. Peter wasn't listening.

He hasn't heard a word. I'll just have to talk very slowly to you both from now on.

We got everyone out of the building except for the top floor. The Empire One News staff.

Swap team's on its way. Alexi, Private Grichoud. Attention, please. Are there any cameramen

about? I can run a camera. You can? Of course. Just tell me where the on switch is. Little

button in back. Bottom left. Well, you're certainly no threat. You'll do fine. You,

on top of the building, put down your weapon. Good. That should tell them what business

we mean. You, stop the camera. To all of you federal agents running face recognition programs,

let me save you some time. We are former KGB agents who have been blessed with the creme

de la creme of Soviet era experimental hardware. Like these. X-11 concussion bombs. The sonic

waves liquefy human organs while doing minimal damage to valuable real estate. Five of these

will be placed discreetly around this room. We have one simple demand. We want Spider-Man

here. In the flesh. Before the 8 p.m. news. He has exactly one hour and 24 minutes to

show his masked face or everyone here dies. Where is my communicator? Who took my communicator?

What are you looking at? Someone with no self-control. We're all just sitting here. No one took your

stupid communicator, okay? Leave her alone. You want Spider-Man, right? If you heard anyone

here, he's gonna come in gunning for you. You know that. Mr. Busy, buddy. Maybe you

saw who took my communicator. No? I show everyone what happens. Look harder, imbecile. Sit.

Fancy cameraworkers are done. Hey, don't get it in your head that you're gonna save my

life once every day, 'cause it'll tire you out. I plan on living forever. Is it me? Do

I have some kind of weird pheromone that shouts out to Peter Parker? Run away! Run away! MJ?

I thought maybe he'd be here doing homework or something stupid like that, but I knew

in my heart he just stood me up. Mary Jane, shut up for a sec. I just turned on the news.

Empire One's been taken hostage. That's where Peter went. Oh my God. The hostages have only

17 minutes left. Come on, come on. We've gotta go down there. In exactly 11 minutes, we will

know if your hero intends to save you. In preparation, kindly lie face down, with eyes closed. Do

it! You're supposed to meet your future mate in the workplace. They never say anything

about dying there with him. Oh, I can't believe I just said that. If we get out of this, I'm

gonna be really embarrassed. So you'll do a lifestyle piece. Hostages most embarrassing

moments when you're a reporter. Look, I might have to try something. So if I'm not here...

Eyes closed, now! We've got everything evacuated in a five block radius. Friendly neighborhood

spider land at your service. Where are they? They got me here. It's a setup. They're already

gone. I need everyone on their feet now. Listen carefully. Get these people to the other side

of the building and call for help. Come on, come on. Let's go. By the way, you might come

across a Peter Parker over on the other side. I ran into him earlier. Oh, what a relief.

Did he mention me? Go! Five bombs. Where are they?

They're all dead. They're all dead. They're all dead. They're all dead. They're all dead.

That was the X-11. Alexi, anyone coming? No one in sight. Just as you planned. Glorious.

Spider-Man is dead. New York City's finest are otherwise engaged. And the diamonds...

Are finally ours. Alexi. Alexi, come in, Alexi. Um, Alexi can't counter the phone right now.

Can I say who's calling? He's tied up at the moment. But I'll be taking his place in a

sec. Diamonds, girls' best friends. Glad you dropped in. We're gonna have a blast. Life's

gonna take four seconds to recharge. Better make your next shot count.

Time to die. It's lined up. Try solo.

Where's Peter? Where's Peter? That's the last one. They're okay.

That's not the last one. That can't be the last one.

I'm sure he probably... Look, there he is. You go ahead. I'll catch up in a sec.

Peter! I was worried about you. I was searching for a way out. Good thing Spider-Man showed

up when he did. Okay, so listen. That stuff I said to you?

Not to worry. It was a tense situation. I know that. I said I'd be embarrassed, but

you see, I'm not. Peter?