Original subtitles

I've acquired visual on subject and sector A. Speed clocked at 72 miles per hour. Top

strength, freedom controlled. Now headed northeast to sector D.

Sector D reporting. Subjects reflexes registered. 10.2 on the Goldman Flinker standardized test.

Not the charts. We set it south.

Subject acquired in sector B. Single-handedly lifted 10,000 pounds.

Extremely formidable. My kind of challenge.

Relating. To you. That's the goal. You want a goal. Take up soccer. I don't want to relate.

I want a boyfriend. See? You don't get it. You can't do it. Because you make it so

difficult. No. You know damn well what the problem is. Him. Oh God. Yes. I still care

about him. And scene. All right. Watson, you're back to my first screen test. Next. So maybe we

better go now. Uh-uh. Now that you made it, she'll be thrilled we saw her. You're probably right.

Hey, how cool would it be if MJ became a star? I've already got it all figured out. Actress

parties, supermodel parties, actress and supermodel parties. Yeah. I'm sure MJ can't wait for those.

Oh good. Then we're on the same wavelength. Hey, what's with Dolce and Gabbana? Don't know

about muscle bags, but the freaky hipster is Richard Damien. He's putting up the money for this turkey.

I mean, this Oscar worthy independent film. Thank you for your patience. I've got money in a new movie

that's casting. Couldn't pull myself away from the auditions. In my business, if I don't pull

away fast enough, I die. You know, I like the sound of that. I see a hired the right person.

Odd hobby. You collect rare species, yet you have no desire to hunt them yourself. I love

the salmon at Jojo. Doesn't mean I have to troll for it. I've studied the subject. I accept your

terms. Excellent. 2.5 million. But remember, I want him alive. I know, I know his name's Spider-Man.

The way I figure he's mostly spider. No more man than that bonobo. He belongs in a cage.

I told you I accept the terms. No need to explain yourself. I have now the other half upon delivery.

Raymond doesn't think I heard what he said. If he doesn't feel I'm up to the task,

he could prove it right now. You challenging him to a sword fight?

He carries a weapon in the small of his back. I believe it's a nine millimeter.

How about it? My God. I'm having so much fun, I won't even deduct it from your pay. She was lucky.

Oh, yeah. Definitely getting my money's worth. Give me your watch now. Why bother?

Your time is up. It's a setup. Spider-Man, prepare to be defeated. I don't know who you are, lady,

but take a swipe at Spidey Days ended last month. It was just a short promotional offer.

Good. No, stupid. Is there something I did that I should know about? Stole your seat on the subway?

Okay, now you're definitely not getting an apology. One hell of a first date.

You're a noble fighter, but not my type. Okay, dipstick, take your job of breaking

somebody else's precinct. Chicana, cop, hold him steady. We'll bag him.

No one decides how to take down an opponent but me. You, hold it right there. Spider-Man,

should've figured on you being involved. What the? I can't see anything. Looks like we got

ourselves a magician. All right, big shot. You got a right to remain silent. Anything

you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney

if you cannot. Doing a little past-life regression? Let me guess. You used to be a hitman for Genghis

Khan. I underestimated your tracking skills, Spider-Man. You underestimated 21st century

technology. I matched frequencies with your cell phone. A woman in your position, Lotus,

I believe, should be more careful. You mistake me for someone who cares about dying. And

you don't? The only thing that matters to me is honor. Ah, as in, it would be an honor

to kill you, Spider-Man. Exactly. Worthy adversaries are so hard to find in this city. Great. You

like me, you really like me. Now let's move on. Do you come with me peacefully or not?

No fighting now. You'll have your chance soon. So, guess you had the screen test. Hey, maybe

this is a sign that you're too talented for that Hollywood stuff. Harry, I did great. Oh,

quick. Someone get a crowbar and my sketcher is stuck in my mouth and I can't get it out.

Wait a second. Why the big crying scene? The script. It sucks. So much for movie stardom.

My acting career is going to be over before it's ever begun. This isn't a B movie. It's

more like a U movie. U for ugh. Why didn't you say so? What? You're going to call in

a script doctor? Better. Witness the power of Osborn. Fred, Harry, do you know Richard

Damian? I thought so. My character is just so two dimensional. I need to get an appointment

for a friend. Sooner the better. Okay, call me back. He'll make it happen. Thank you,

thank you, thank you. Okay, not a problem. But, um, you think it's safe for you to be

alone with Damian? A lecherous producer and a young, beautiful actress. You know the Girl

Scout motto. Don't leave home without lip gloss. The cookies are a cover up. Fine. Yeah,

fine. Have her come by at eight. Right, Fred. You owe me, baby. Business crisis. A little

damage control on my independent movie project. It's just one of my many artistic endeavors.

So you keep saying. Shouldn't you be out hunting down our favorite arachnid? Exactly why I'm

here. I've already found Spider-Man, and I fully intend to face him again soon. In which

case you'll have earned your 2.5. The terms have changed. It wouldn't be honorable to

take your money. But you just said. But I can no longer promise I'll capture Spider-Man

alive. Why in the hell not? It would be dishonorable. So you can fight him but not capture him?

In a bout such as this, only one comes out alive. We had a deal! And now it's off. She

knows your plans about Spider-Man. Mr. Damian, you think of it as collecting, but hiring

a person to capture someone. That's kidnapping. She squeals you're in trouble. Then make

sure she doesn't. You stay here. We'll go up to the next block.

A real man wouldn't be afraid to fight me alone. Yeah. We'll write that on your gravestone.

You're not going to be able to do that. You're not going to be able to do that. You're not.

Damn it! Hey, you threw a great party. You continue to impress me with your character.

Now more than ever, I know it is our destiny to fight to the death, but not now. You hear

me? No one gets past the front gate. No one! It includes that actress who's on her way.

I think you can manage that. Mr. Damian, I've never seen anything like her. And that sword.

And Spider-Man swung in and things got out of control. Those were two of my best men.

Close that! What's the front gate guy dead now, too? Good. You figured out how this works.

You shouldn't have sent your men to kill me. It was Raymond, not me. He's such a hot head.

At least two thousand head. Hello? Mr. Damian?

Hello? Okay, this is the only room with the light on. If you're trying to get me up to

the bedroom, I'm just going to leave. Mr. Damian, what are you doing under your desk?

I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to

leave. 911 emergency. Yes, there's been a murder. Taxi!

Hey, lady, take your walk somewhere else. Prepare to kill or be killed, Spider-Man.

Wasn't it just yesterday we made such a handsome crime-fighting duo? That is why I honor you

with the chance to fight me. Lady, it's time to get you off the streets.

It's over, Shakada. Not till one of us is dead. So if this is Heidi Klum, please come

over right away. Harry or Peter, please come home as soon as

you get this message. I was home, but I like totally freaked out and you won't believe

what happened at Mr. Damian's house. What's going on? Spider-Man.

MJ. Listen and listen good. You fight me to the death or she will die.

Spider-Man, the sword. It gives her power.

Wait! Done waiting.

Hold it right there. Your arm.

It'll be okay. You fought her. For me.

Not alone. Handy piece of information, that sword thing. How'd you know?

Long story, but the point is, we make a good team.

Yes, we do. So like, I think your sword freak killed the

guy who's bankrolling the movie I was supposed to be in. Why am I telling you this?

In case I run into any showbiz types looking for a leading lady.

Would you do that? I don't really travel in those circles.

Yeah, I didn't think so. Spider-Man went this way. Follow me.

Here we go again. See you around? Definitely.