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I've acquired visual on subject and sector A. Speed clocked at 72 miles per hour. Top
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strength, freedom controlled. Now headed northeast to sector D.
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Sector D reporting. Subjects reflexes registered. 10.2 on the Goldman Flinker standardized test.
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Not the charts. We set it south.
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Subject acquired in sector B. Single-handedly lifted 10,000 pounds.
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Extremely formidable. My kind of challenge.
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Relating. To you. That's the goal. You want a goal. Take up soccer. I don't want to relate.
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I want a boyfriend. See? You don't get it. You can't do it. Because you make it so
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difficult. No. You know damn well what the problem is. Him. Oh God. Yes. I still care
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about him. And scene. All right. Watson, you're back to my first screen test. Next. So maybe we
11
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better go now. Uh-uh. Now that you made it, she'll be thrilled we saw her. You're probably right.
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Hey, how cool would it be if MJ became a star? I've already got it all figured out. Actress
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parties, supermodel parties, actress and supermodel parties. Yeah. I'm sure MJ can't wait for those.
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Oh good. Then we're on the same wavelength. Hey, what's with Dolce and Gabbana? Don't know
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about muscle bags, but the freaky hipster is Richard Damien. He's putting up the money for this turkey.
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I mean, this Oscar worthy independent film. Thank you for your patience. I've got money in a new movie
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that's casting. Couldn't pull myself away from the auditions. In my business, if I don't pull
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away fast enough, I die. You know, I like the sound of that. I see a hired the right person.
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Odd hobby. You collect rare species, yet you have no desire to hunt them yourself. I love
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the salmon at Jojo. Doesn't mean I have to troll for it. I've studied the subject. I accept your
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terms. Excellent. 2.5 million. But remember, I want him alive. I know, I know his name's Spider-Man.
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The way I figure he's mostly spider. No more man than that bonobo. He belongs in a cage.
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I told you I accept the terms. No need to explain yourself. I have now the other half upon delivery.
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Raymond doesn't think I heard what he said. If he doesn't feel I'm up to the task,
25
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he could prove it right now. You challenging him to a sword fight?
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He carries a weapon in the small of his back. I believe it's a nine millimeter.
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How about it? My God. I'm having so much fun, I won't even deduct it from your pay. She was lucky.
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Oh, yeah. Definitely getting my money's worth. Give me your watch now. Why bother?
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Your time is up. It's a setup. Spider-Man, prepare to be defeated. I don't know who you are, lady,
30
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but take a swipe at Spidey Days ended last month. It was just a short promotional offer.
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Good. No, stupid. Is there something I did that I should know about? Stole your seat on the subway?
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Okay, now you're definitely not getting an apology. One hell of a first date.
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You're a noble fighter, but not my type. Okay, dipstick, take your job of breaking
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somebody else's precinct. Chicana, cop, hold him steady. We'll bag him.
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No one decides how to take down an opponent but me. You, hold it right there. Spider-Man,
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should've figured on you being involved. What the? I can't see anything. Looks like we got
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ourselves a magician. All right, big shot. You got a right to remain silent. Anything
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you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney
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if you cannot. Doing a little past-life regression? Let me guess. You used to be a hitman for Genghis
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Khan. I underestimated your tracking skills, Spider-Man. You underestimated 21st century
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technology. I matched frequencies with your cell phone. A woman in your position, Lotus,
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I believe, should be more careful. You mistake me for someone who cares about dying. And
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you don't? The only thing that matters to me is honor. Ah, as in, it would be an honor
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to kill you, Spider-Man. Exactly. Worthy adversaries are so hard to find in this city. Great. You
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like me, you really like me. Now let's move on. Do you come with me peacefully or not?
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No fighting now. You'll have your chance soon. So, guess you had the screen test. Hey, maybe
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this is a sign that you're too talented for that Hollywood stuff. Harry, I did great. Oh,
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quick. Someone get a crowbar and my sketcher is stuck in my mouth and I can't get it out.
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Wait a second. Why the big crying scene? The script. It sucks. So much for movie stardom.
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My acting career is going to be over before it's ever begun. This isn't a B movie. It's
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more like a U movie. U for ugh. Why didn't you say so? What? You're going to call in
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a script doctor? Better. Witness the power of Osborn. Fred, Harry, do you know Richard
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Damian? I thought so. My character is just so two dimensional. I need to get an appointment
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for a friend. Sooner the better. Okay, call me back. He'll make it happen. Thank you,
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thank you, thank you. Okay, not a problem. But, um, you think it's safe for you to be
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alone with Damian? A lecherous producer and a young, beautiful actress. You know the Girl
57
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Scout motto. Don't leave home without lip gloss. The cookies are a cover up. Fine. Yeah,
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fine. Have her come by at eight. Right, Fred. You owe me, baby. Business crisis. A little
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damage control on my independent movie project. It's just one of my many artistic endeavors.
60
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So you keep saying. Shouldn't you be out hunting down our favorite arachnid? Exactly why I'm
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here. I've already found Spider-Man, and I fully intend to face him again soon. In which
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case you'll have earned your 2.5. The terms have changed. It wouldn't be honorable to
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take your money. But you just said. But I can no longer promise I'll capture Spider-Man
64
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alive. Why in the hell not? It would be dishonorable. So you can fight him but not capture him?
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In a bout such as this, only one comes out alive. We had a deal! And now it's off. She
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knows your plans about Spider-Man. Mr. Damian, you think of it as collecting, but hiring
67
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a person to capture someone. That's kidnapping. She squeals you're in trouble. Then make
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sure she doesn't. You stay here. We'll go up to the next block.
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A real man wouldn't be afraid to fight me alone. Yeah. We'll write that on your gravestone.
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You're not going to be able to do that. You're not going to be able to do that. You're not.
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Damn it! Hey, you threw a great party. You continue to impress me with your character.
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Now more than ever, I know it is our destiny to fight to the death, but not now. You hear
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me? No one gets past the front gate. No one! It includes that actress who's on her way.
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I think you can manage that. Mr. Damian, I've never seen anything like her. And that sword.
75
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And Spider-Man swung in and things got out of control. Those were two of my best men.
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Close that! What's the front gate guy dead now, too? Good. You figured out how this works.
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You shouldn't have sent your men to kill me. It was Raymond, not me. He's such a hot head.
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At least two thousand head. Hello? Mr. Damian?
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Hello? Okay, this is the only room with the light on. If you're trying to get me up to
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the bedroom, I'm just going to leave. Mr. Damian, what are you doing under your desk?
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I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to
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leave. 911 emergency. Yes, there's been a murder. Taxi!
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Hey, lady, take your walk somewhere else. Prepare to kill or be killed, Spider-Man.
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Wasn't it just yesterday we made such a handsome crime-fighting duo? That is why I honor you
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with the chance to fight me. Lady, it's time to get you off the streets.
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It's over, Shakada. Not till one of us is dead. So if this is Heidi Klum, please come
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over right away. Harry or Peter, please come home as soon as
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you get this message. I was home, but I like totally freaked out and you won't believe
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what happened at Mr. Damian's house. What's going on? Spider-Man.
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MJ. Listen and listen good. You fight me to the death or she will die.
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Spider-Man, the sword. It gives her power.
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Wait! Done waiting.
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Hold it right there. Your arm.
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It'll be okay. You fought her. For me.
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Not alone. Handy piece of information, that sword thing. How'd you know?
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Long story, but the point is, we make a good team.
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Yes, we do. So like, I think your sword freak killed the
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guy who's bankrolling the movie I was supposed to be in. Why am I telling you this?
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In case I run into any showbiz types looking for a leading lady.
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Would you do that? I don't really travel in those circles.
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Yeah, I didn't think so. Spider-Man went this way. Follow me.
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Here we go again. See you around? Definitely.
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