All language subtitles for Last Week Tonight S13E22_en

[cheers and applause]

>> john: welcome, welcome,

Welcome to "last week tonight!"

I'm john oliver.

Thank you so much for joining

Us.

It has been a busy week.

The national debt topped

$40 trillion, trump threatened

To bomb oman, and at a debate in

South carolina, lindsey graham's

Sister-- who's running to take

His seat-- gave a trainwreck of

An answer.

>> are taiwan and the south

China sea national security

Issues for the united states?

If so, why?

>> i'm sorry, could you repeat

The question.

>> are taiwan and the south

China sea national security

Issues for the united states,

And if so, why or how?

>> i'm just gonna be honest

Here, i'm not on national

Security, i'm not that informed

On national security, so...

But i do support the military.

>> john: yeah, pretty bad!

And you know what?

I'll give darline graham the

Same advice i'd give

Liam hemsworth: you don't have

To do this just because your

Brother did.

But i want to focus on a

Less-covered story from this

Week, involving sean duffy,

Secretary of transportation.

You may remember a few months

Back, he unveiled this weird

Trailer for the great american

Road trip, a show supposedly

Celebrating america's 250th

Anniversary.

>> what a beautiful family.

>> can you say hi to

Mr. President?

Can you say hi to president

Trump?

>> taking a little trip?

>> yes, yes.

>> a little trip all over.

>> so, the motto is to love

America is to see america.

It's more than a road trip.

It's a civic experience.

It's one of the most powerful

Ways to understand the vast,

Beautiful, complicated place we

Call home.

One, two, three, road trip!

>> john: okay, lots not to like

There, from the generic "hey ho"

Folk rock, to trump giving

Insane "grandma's new boyfriend"

Vibes to the very conspicuous

Closeup of the toyota logo, to

The seemingly ai generated

Images of cars-- which makes

Sense, no one's ever thought to

Film a real car before.

When the great american road

Trip was announced, they sold it

Pretty hard.

Duffy's wife, fox host

Rachel campos-duffy, even

Claimed it was a solution to

What ails us as a nation.

>> i'm gonna be really honest,

We live in a pornhub world.

This is really wholesome, good,

Family stuff.

This is what families need to

Do, is to just get together--

That's what our kids want from

Us.

>> john: is it?

Because i think what every kid

Really wants is for their mom

Not to say the word "pornhub" on

National tv.

Also, she clearly hasn't spent a

Lot of time on that site, or

She'd know "families getting

Together" is very much its own

Category.

But the show quickly became

Controversial, with people

Asking things like, "hey, you

Know gas is over $4 a gallon,

Right?"

And "did you film a reality show

With your family when you were

Supposed to be running a cabinet

Department?"

And "who's paying for this,

Exactly?"

And the answers duffy gave

Weren't reassuring.

>> he says production took place

In short windows over seven

Months.

>> someone has to pay for this

Operation.

I got to go to work.

>> duffy did conduct official

Government business, paid for by

Taxpayers, in some of the

Locations where filming took

Place.

But he says no taxpayer money

Was used on his family, and that

The series was funded through a

Non-profit production company

Called great american road trip,

Inc.

It lists 17 sponsors on its

Website, including boeing,

Toyota, shell, royal caribbean

Group, and united airlines.

All companies duffy's department

Oversees and regulates.

>> john: yeah, not great!

The only worse answer to "who

Paid for this?"

Than "the american taxpayer" is

"a bunch of companies i oversee

And regulate."

Actually, i suppose an even

Worse answer would be: a bunch

Of companies i oversee and

Regulate, and also my close

Personal friend jeffrey

Epstein.

But that's still pretty bad.

And this show can't have been

Cheap to produce, given toyota

And boeing alone reportedly paid

A million dollars each to help

Get it made.

So it's no surprise duffy wound

Up having to answer questions

About it in congress.

And his defense was noticeably

Weak.

>> it is literally your job to

Make sure each of those

Companies are playing by the

Rules.

>> can i answer the question?

>> so, toyota is sponsoring a

Show starring you, and it is

Your department, mr. Secretary,

That decides--

>> do you hate america?

Don't you want to celebrate

America?

>> mr. Secretary, it is your

Department that decides whether

Toyota's next recall is

Voluntary or mandatory.

>> let's celebrate this country.

It's our birthday.

>> john: "it's our birthday?"

You sound like a fucking child.

You do get that, just because

It's america's birthday doesn't

Mean you get to do an ethics

Violation, right?

Grow up.

The show was supposed to come

Out in june, but all the

Scrutiny seemed to delay it,

With duffy at one point saying

They needed to re-edit to "make

Sure i come into compliance with

All of the ethics rules that we

Have in government," which is

Definitely something best done

Hastily after the fact.

But this wednesday, with no

Warning, all six episodes were

Quietly dumped on youtube.

And before i talk about the

Show, a bit of context about why

Duffy might've thought this was

A good idea.

Because he's long loved being on

Camera.

He was actually on "the real

World boston" back in the late

'90s, where he tried to present

Himself as deeply horny.

In his audition he reportedly

Said he wanted to be on the show

Because of his interest in cute

Girls and when asked by a

Producer how many times he'd had

Sex in the last six months he--

And i'm quoting here-- flashed

A big smile and responded "three

Times.

Three different individuals,

Yeah.

And three different times"

Adding, "i'm sort of starving

Right now, guys."

And i gotta say: i had sex with

Three different women, none of

Whom were interested in an

Encore says a lot more about you

Than i think you wanted to

Reveal.

On the show, duffy got attention

For annoying the fuck out of his

Black cast mate kameelah, who he

Fought with over affirmative

Action, complaining he could've

Gotten in to a better college

"if i were a black male," and at

Another point comparing her to

Adolf hitler while accusing her

Of reverse racism.

And while sadly, duffy didn't

Find a cute girl to have his

Fourth sex with in the real

World house, he did actually

Meet his wife soon afterward,

During the spinoff "road rules:

All stars."

In fact, here they are, flirting

On-camera, after which the show

Cuts away to this incredible

Confessional interview.

>> i'm a playful person, and

I'll go and just play with

People in probably a sexual way,

And i think it can be perceived

In the wrong way, and i think

She might take my actions as me,

You know, liking her and wanting

To get down with her, and maybe

Feel a little boobies.

>> john: well, it's official: we

Found it!

The worst possible answer to the

Question "so how did you and mom

Meet?"

Also for the record: no one over

The age of six should be saying

The word "boobies."

After that point, you call them

"breasts," and then when you're

90 you get to call them

"knockers" without anyone

Correcting you.

That's the deal.

Anyway, duffy eventually ran for

Congress, where he served four

Terms, then became a tv pundit,

And cohost of a right-wing

Podcast with his wife, featuring

Episodes like, is wokeism the

United states' cultural

Revolution and "why taylor swift

Is the sign of a declining

Society."

Then, last year, he joined the

Trump administration as

Transportation secretary,

Bringing all his culture-war

Energy to that job-- including,

After a deadly plane crash in

D.c., Absurdly suggesting dei

Had played a role, saying, "you

Can't focus on diversity, equity

And inclusion when you try to

Hire air traffic controllers."

And yet somehow, with all his

Responsibilities, duffy still

Managed to find time to film

"the great american road trip."

And while its marketing

Materials described it as "a

Nationwide storytelling movement

That invites americans to

Explore the open road, and

Connect with their communities,"

As we learned this week, that's

Not really what it is at all.

Because it turns out, it's

Basically an

Expensively-produced test run of

A duffy family reality show,

With each episode featuring a

Bare minimum about travel or

America, but a ton of

Manufactured reality-tv drama

Around stuff like planning a

Family party, or-- over the

Course of several episodes--

Watching their daughter decide

Which college she'll attend.

A debate, incidentally, sean

Wades into, in exactly the way

You'd expect.

>> if i do get in, i feel like

You can't say no.

>> to harvard?

>> yeah.

>> well, me and mom can say no.

>> catholicism to us is

Everything.

It's the basis of our marriage.

It's the basis of our family.

So, i'm nervous about the idea

Of paloma going to harvard.

>> listen, my problem is, we

Have thought about how we've

Raised you, and how hard we've

Worked to, i think, raise what

Is a remarkable young girl.

If i send you there, i think

What happens is, they have

Professionalized figuring out

How they can take good young

Girls like you and, i think,

Corrupt their minds.

>> john: what the fuck are you

Talking about?

First, this was supposed to be a

Road trip, why are we still in

Your kitchen?

Second, is there anything less

Relatable than a family whose

Conflict is "how do i tell my

Daughter she can't go to harvard

Because we did 'too good a job'

Raising her?"

And finally: don't be worried

Harvard's going to "corrupt"

Your daughter's mind.

Worry that, if she goes there--

Like every other harvard grad--

She's never going to shut the

Fuck up about it.

One of this show's writers went

To harvard, and guess how i know

That.

Exactly.

I don't know where any of the

Others went!

But if you think that moment's

Uncomfortable, they also go to

Boston to visit the "real world"

House, where duffy tries to

Rewrite some history.

>> kameelah and i-- the house

Was set up for the two of us to

Room together.

Um, we got along well though.

It was fun.

It was good.

>> you called her a bitch.

>> i did not.

>> john: oh, i'm sorry you

Didn't?

You're saying you didn't call

Kameelah a bitch?

Let's go to the tape, sean.

>> so i walked up ahead of the

Group.

And i called her a bitch.

>> john: yeah, you did, sean.

You did.

Call me cvs, because i will

Always bring the receipts.

But maybe what's most noticeable

About the great american road

Trip is that whatever

Last-minute edits were made to

It seem to have cut a lot of

Stuff out.

A bunch of stuff from the

Trailer is missing, including

Also kid rock, who-- and this

Is true-- are apparently two

Completely different people.

But more conspicuously, they've

Also removed a whole tour of a

Cruise ship operated by one of

The show's big sponsors,

Royal caribbean.

Although notably, other sponsors

Still get screentime, with the

Show featuring the family

Touring a boeing factory in

South carolina, and visiting a

Waymo test facility in arizona,

Where duffy calls the company

"the future of transportation."

But perhaps the clunkiest moment

That got left in involves what

Sure seems like sponsor

Integration for one of the

Show's backers, the electronic

Payments coalition-- a lobbying

Group representing credit card

Companies.

Because in one episode, when the

Family goes to lunch, out of

Nowhere, naomie olindo, a former

Castmember on "southern charm,"

Turns up, and suddenly steers

The conversation in a very

Specific direction.

See if you can spot it.

>> i'm getting married in july,

So.

>> congratulations

>> thank you so much.

I'm a frugal person and i want

To be, like, smart with my

Money.

Planning a wedding and, like, a

Honeymoon and stuff, and all

That can get so expensive.

And we booked our entire

Honeymoon with points.

Like, the entire thing.

>> i did too.

>> you did?

>> yeah, yeah.

>> thank you so much.

People can come here on points

And then the more they go out to

Eat, they shop, where they stay,

They use their cards and they're

Still earning points while being

Here.

So, i mean it might be girl

Math, but to me that sounds

Amazing, and it really makes

Sense.

>> john: what a natural

Conversation!

Just a normal, extended

Monologue about the flexibility

Of credit card points, delivered

To a table of bored children who

-- and i know i'm projecting--

Have definitely been told that

If they interrupt her or make

Any noise, she's going to have

To go back to the start and do

The whole thing again.

And look, i don't really give a

Shit if sean duffy and his wife

Want to become the next duggars,

Or john and kate, or alec and

Hilaria baldwin.

What's concerning is them doing

It on the back of the

Department of transportation.

Because it feels ethically

Dubious on so many levels.

Which may be why, at this point,

Everyone involved seems like

They'd rather just sweep this

Under the rug.

Since it came out, the duffys

Have barely promoted the show,

And the department of

Transportation hasn't posted

About the show at all.

It's no wonder hardly anyone

Seems to have bothered to watch

This thing.

But even if everyone involved in

This show wants to move on and

Act like it never happened, i'm

Not sure the rest of us should.

Because the appearance of a

Conflict of interest is not

Going to go away

For a start, the department of

Transportation-- right now--

Has two open investigations into

Waymo, for its self-driving cars

Driving around a stopped school

Bus and striking a child in the

Area of a school.

And as one expert in government

Ethics has said, "there's every

Reason not to trust duffy to be

Protecting public safety when it

Comes to waymo, because he's

Accepted this gift."

Now, thankfully a group of

Senators have initiated an

Inspector general investigation

And a government watchdog group

Has filed foia requests to find

Out more about how all this

Happened.

Which is good.

Because i've gotta say-- having

Watched all three hours of this

Godawful show, from gender

Reveals to the duffys renewing

Their vows for no clear reason,

It feels less like the country's

Been taken on a road trip by

Sean duffy, and a lot more like

We've been taken for a fucking

Ride.

And now, this.

>> announcer: and now,

Nobody does a transition to an

Ad read like ben shapiro.

>> other words people are very

Excited about lindsey graham's

Death.

All the worst people.

Whenever you talk about

Mortality, the passage of time

It's a reminder you don't have

Time to waste.

It's a reality.

We had a baby which means we are

Super duper busy.

It's also true when it comes to

Your business.

We have our own time saving.

If you're a business member, how

Do you save time hiring?

Ziprecruiter.

It's utopian and really ugly.

It violates every principle.

He's not interested in saving

Money or efficiency but if

You're interested in saving

Money or efficiency check out my

Friends.

The president rips on election

And says they are not working

Properly or they are vulnerable.

Here's what you need working

Properly.

Your cell phone coverage.

It turns out when you import a

Bunch of third world people who

Are also radically muslim you

Might have a bit of a crime

Problem.

You know what's not shocking and

It's hot today and hot every day

In florida this time of year and

This is why you need a mattress

That breathes.

Candace owens, why was she so

Obsessed with charlie kirk?

Speaking of obsession i'm

Obsessed with balanced

Nutrition.

>> john: moving on.

Our main story tonight concerns

Subscriptions.

The way that hbo, from the very

Start, made money.

And while i don't need to show

You this old promo for it, i do

Want to.

>> this house is hopping, people

Having a ball, laughing and

Clapping, watching it happen on

The hbo knockout fall.

>> the hbo knockout fall is here

With blockbuster movies like

Rambo first blood part 2 jagged

Edge silverado and cocoon.

Just call this number and order

Cable tv and hbo.

You'll save 50% on installation

And get this telephone alarm

Clock absolutely free.

>> john: it's magnificent.

What happened to this company?

Nowadays, when you sign up for

Hbo max, all you get is access

To this.

But hbo used to throw in alarm

Clock phones that doubled as

Weapons you could throw at your

Boyfriend during a fight, a

Theme song, and a cartoon mom

And dad who you can tell go

Absolutely feral after dark.

Those two have never met a bed

They didn't wreck, shred, and

Moisten.

And if you're shocked by how

Graphically i'm discussing these

Innocent cartoons, remember...

This is hbo, you pay for the

Filth.

Specifically, i want to talk

About the fact that more and

More things seem to have shifted

To a subscription model.

You've probably noticed it--

Like how we've gone from buying

Music and movies to simply

Paying a monthly fee to access

Them-- but subscriptions have

Also expanded to everything from

Clothing to beauty products to

Cleaning services to even this.

>> taco bell now testing a taco

Subscription service.

It looks like-- it works like

This.

Customers pay $5 to $10 a month

For what's called a

Taco lovers pass, that lets them

Get one of a variety of tacos

Every day for 30 days.

>> john: it's true!

Taco bell's apparently offered

Something called the "taco

Lover's pass."

Which is, coincidentally, also

What the news headline will read

When people inevitably die from

Eating taco bell every day for a

Month.

Subscriptions are now basically

Everywhere.

And many of us don't even

Realize how much we spend on

Them, as one survey found

Americans paid more than twice

What they thought they did for

Monthly subscriptions, and

Nearly half report they still

Pay for one they'd forgotten

About or didn't use.

And look, i'm not saying this is

The biggest problem we face in

The world right now-- that's

Obviously a three-way tie

Between the war in iran,

Diarrhea lettuce, and what's

Happening in the donut industry.

Guys, we're doing too much.

Fruit loops?

On a donut?

The options should be icing,

Sprinkles, and that's it!

Donuts don't need a special

Toppings bar.

They're donuts.

They're not frozen yogurt.

Now, she needs help, she needs

Lipstick, a push-up bra, and as

Many crumbled up m&ms as you can

Shovel on her, but donuts are a

Natural beauty, leave them be.

But subscriptions are a

Universally annoying problem--

And they're something people on

Do love to yell about.

>> there are so many hard things

In life.

Why is cancelling a subscription

One of them?

And i'm talking to you,

Paramount+, i'm talking to you.

>> canceling my sirius xm almost

Broke my fucking brain.

>> in the how-to section, it

Says, hey, how to end your

Subscription.

Go to "end subscription" button,

But it doesn't exist.

>> then i had to chat to the

Chatbot and i didn't have time

To chat to the chatbot.

All i wanted to do was cancel my

Subscription.

I didn't even have manners.

All i said is cancel my

Subscription.

Hi, please just give us a few

Details.

Cancel my subscription.

Please let us know how we can

Keep you.

Cancel my fucking subscription.

>> john: that's just an

Excellent use of tiktok.

Because i do think we do need an

Outlet where we can vent about

Daily annoyances, especially

Given priests must be tired of

Hearing it.

"do you have something you'd

Like to confess, my child?"

"yeah, why are mobile orders

That came through after

In-restaurant orders prepared

First?

Tell me that, god?"

It's bullshit!

So given that, tonight, let's

Talk about subscriptions-- how

Out of hand they're getting, the

Tricks companies use to lock you

Into them, and one simple

Solution that could give

Consumers at least some power

Back.

And let's start by acknowledging

That certain things, like

Newspapers, have long had a

Subscription component.

But the internet's made it much

Easier to apply a subscription

Model to basically everything--

And i do mean everything, from

The apocabox which sends you

Doomsday prep supplies, to bone

Box, which i'll let this

Youtuber tell you about.

>> this is the bone box, and it

Comes from skulls unlimited.

And yes, it is what you might

Think it is.

It is a box of bones.

This is $30 mystery box.

It does contain a skull.

>> now they had two-- not

Human-- they do have two tiers.

This is a $30 one.

And here is the skull.

So that is an american mink's.

>> john: okay, i'll be honest: i

Didn't think you were talking

About human skulls there, until

You quickly said "not human!"

And now, i'm just not so sure.

But it's not just boxes of bones

People subscribe to-- it's also

How many of us consume media

Nowadays.

You can get subscriptions for

Books, and for music, and for tv

And movies.

And all of that is the end

Result of a much larger shift

That started in the late '90s,

When netflix launched its

Dvd-rental subscription service,

And companies like salesforce

Pioneered a cloud-based

Subscription model for software,

Or what we now call "software as

A service," with adobe and

Microsoft soon following them.

And before long, any product or

Service that could be repackaged

As a subscription started

Becoming one.

Even appliances and devices you

Used to be able to buy and own

Outright started becoming "smart

Products," with a subscription

Component.

You can now find this model used

In everything from baby alarm

Clocks to smoke alarms to light

Bulbs to even litter boxes--

Perfect for anyone who's ever

Thought, "i wish there was a way

To make it more expensive for my

Cat to take a shit."

The auto industry in particular

Has started leaning hard into

Subscriptions.

>> $8 a month for remote start

On certain toyotas.

$20 a month for bmw's enhanced

Cruise control.

>> hands-free cruise control

Sure is nice but are you willing

To pay $75 a month for it?

>> so if your car payment is

$600 a month, it is now $675.

>> general motors expects

Subscriptions to bring in as

Much as $25 billion a year by

2030, just under what netflix

Earned last year.

>> part of me says, well, you've

Already bought the hardware, so

Just let me use it.

>> john: yeah, gm plans to

Eventually rake in, from

Subscriptions alone, revenue

Comparable to that of netflix.

Which is shocking, given--

Unlike netflix-- gm doesn't

Even offer you the chance to see

L.a.'S Most botox-ed realtors

Wearing the least practical

Outfits you've ever seen.

Their skin is on display, their

Shoes are legally stilts, and

There is simply no way for them

To pee until they get home.

And sometimes, you might not

Even realize you're buying a

Product with a subscription

Component, until after the fact.

For instance: hp now sells

Printers with a subscription

Service called "instant ink."

And just watch the nasty

Surprise this woman got when her

New printer's "free trial"

Expired.

>> i went to print, like a

Packing label, or something, and

It just wouldn't print at all,

And i couldn't-there's no

Message on my computer that was

Explaining it.

>> and the reason it's not

Printing says, "payment method

Needs updating."

>> cannot print with the

Installed cartridge.

As you can see, this page has

Printed fine.

>> that's infuriating.

I would be so mad if i'm trying

To print something out and my

Printer is like, keeps printing

Out a page that says i can't

Print, i won't print.

>> maggie's printer still had

Ink in it when it stopped

Working.

It turns out that when your

Instant ink subscription

Expires, or if you cancel it, hp

Remotely kills your cartridges.

>> john: yeah, that's pretty

Annoying.

She understandably assumed she

Owned the ink that came with her

Printer, but suddenly couldn't

Use it.

Which sure feels like a waste.

Though i'll tell you one

Purchase she made that

Definitely wasn't a waste there

-- and i think we all know what

It is, say it with me, everyone:

The nails, honey, that's right!

Look at the color combo, the

Design, the shape-- my god, the

Shape: it's like a junior

Stiletto with a whiff of almond.

Nails like that tell me three

Things about that woman: she's

Got taste, she's got style, and

She doesn't fuck around.

A person with those nails

Doesn't make decisions lightly,

I'm positive if she knew signing

Up for that subscription would

Give hp remote control of her

Ink cartridges, she'd have said

To them what i assume she says

To anyone asking her to open a

Can of soda: sorry, that's

Someone else's journey, not

Mine.

But as irritating as that is,

There's an obvious reason

Companies love this model-- as

Hp's ceo told investors, "we

Make more money per customer

When they're in the subscription

Program."

And that money is consistent,

Recurring revenue.

But the benefits for companies

Don't stop there, as

Subscriptions also give them

Access to a shit-ton of data

About you.

In fact, here's a former

Salesforce executive-- who now

Runs a company that helps

Businesses manage their

Subscription services-- laying

Out his pitch to clients.

>> what you really need to do is

You really need to think of what

Is it that you're really after.

Companies like whirlpool or ge,

They really only deal with their

Customers once every seven years

Or so when they buy a new

Product.

And so these manufacturers are

Realizing we're in like 70% of

The households in the u.s. And

We should be able to collect

Information about people and

Understand what do they do, how

Often do they eat, how often are

They cooking, how often do they

Use their microwave, how often

Are they washing their clothes,

And think about a whole

Different service.

So imagine instead of having a

Washing machine, it's a smart

Washing machine.

It knows how often you're using

It.

When you run out of detergent,

Detergent simply shows up in the

Mail.

It knows that you just had a

Child, so you're gonna be using

It more often.

It actually adjusts to your

Needs.

>> john: that is so unsettling!

No company needs to know i had a

Child!

There's a reason you start birth

Announcements with "dear family

And friends," and not "to whom

It may concern at the whirlpool

Corporation."

And it's also unnecessary.

If you want to know if someone's

Had a kid, there are way more

Obvious clues than someone

"washing more clothes."

How about: are their eyes

Hollow?

Do they look like they're

Taking, at most, two showers a

Week?

Do they spend the one hour a day

They get to themselves watching

Beast games in a catatonic

State?

Does a barista getting their

Coffee order wrong elicit steel

Magnolias level sobs?

Are they wearing a backpack in a

Restaurant?

Those are all easy ways to spot

A new parent that crucially

Don't involve spying on them

Through their fucking washing

Machine.

Now, obviously there's a pretty

Simple solution for you here:

Don't buy these "smart

Products."

And if you don't want a

Subscription anymore, just

Cancel it.

But while that's easy to say,

Canceling can be way harder to

Pull off in practice, and for a

Few key reasons.

First, let's admit, as a

Species, people can just forget.

In fact, anytime subscriptions

Get covered on the news, someone

Invariably offers a confession

Like this.

>> guys, this is so funny

Because yesterday i realized

That my gym account has been

Charging me twice every month

For the past like four months.

>> i forgot that i was

Subscribed to apple tv for

Six months.

>> i made this list, and i

Realized that three or four of

The services i had, i had just

Not used in years.

>> like?

>> one of them being an e-fax

Service.

I-- am i--

>> fax.

>> am i on national television

Admitting right now that i had a

Fax service?

>> john: look, i'm trying not to

Be judgmental, but: you didn't

Know you were paying for an

E-fax service for years?

I think it genuinely might be

Less embarrassing to admit you

Wrote in "jill stein" in the

2020 election.

I'd rather stand outside the

Today show and hold up a sign

Reading "people were wrong about

Madame web" than admit something

Like that.

But the thing is, sometimes it's

Less people forgetting they had

A subscription, and more them

Not realizing they signed up for

One in the first place-- which

Can be easy to do.

Maybe you signed up for a bundle

-- so you subscribed to, say,

Lyft pink and they threw in a

Year of grubhub+-- and you

Didn't realize that after a

Year, grubhub+ automatically

Converts into a paid

Subscription.

Companies have gotten very good

At making it incredibly easy to

Sign up for subscriptions by

Accident-- often by employing

What are called "dark patterns"

-- which i know sounds like the

Title of jeremy renner's next

Album of song-like sound

Mistakes-- but it's actually a

Term describing companies using

Deceptive design choices to

Manipulate you into making

Decisions you might not have

Intended.

Take amazon prime-- which in

Addition to offering subscribers

Free shipping, also provides

Access to some of the best shows

Only your dad watches.

Prime has been a massive success

For amazon.

It's the main driver behind the

More than $44 billion amazon

Made on subscriptions last year.

But a few years back, the

Company got into big trouble

After the ftc claimed it had

Used a variety of dark patterns

To trick people into signing up

Describing just one of them.

>> so, originally, amazon prime

Was $99 a year.

It's up to $149 a year now.

But let's show you real fast

Here.

You put something in your cart,

Go to the payment page.

Click the yellow button.

Move forward one page.

When you go to check out, you

Get a pop up.

Instead of the yellow button,

You would have been clicking all

The way to proceed as normal.

All of a sudden, this sign up

For amazon is the yellow one and

The proceed as normal is not.

>> john: yeah, and it's easy to

See how someone could fall for

That, particularly if they speak

English as a second language, or

Are are older and a little less

Tech-savvy, or they can't read

At all.

The point is, it sure seems like

Amazon was being deliberately

Confusing there.

In fact, a former amazon

Employee literally told

Reporters, quote, "we have been

Deliberately confusing."

And not only are there internal

Amazon documents stating, "the

Issue of accidental prime-sign

Ups is well documented," but in

Several cases, fixes for these

Issues were actually proposed

And considered, but because they

Resulted in lower subscription

Growth when tested, they were

Shelved by executives.

Because of course they were!

But while companies clearly go

Out of their way to make it

Incredibly easy to subscribe,

They can make canceling a

Fucking nightmare.

Take la fitness.

You can sign up for a membership

There online, but as the ftc

Pointed out last year, canceling

It was a lot harder.

>> the ftc says la fitness and

Sister brands did not just make

Canceling memberships difficult,

They made it nearly impossible

-- the agency accuses the parent

Company of forcing consumers

Through a maze of red tapes.

Some had to print long forms

Requiring long forgotten login

Credentials, while others had to

Show up in person and speak with

A specific manager who was often

Unavailable.

In some cases people were

Required to send certified mail

Just to cancel and even after

Some members contacted their

Banks to stop payments they

Allege the companies continued

To charge them sometimes under

New account numbers.

>> john: yeah, that's

Ridiculous.

And look, to be fair-- gyms

Have made it hard to cancel

Memberships for years.

It's so well-known, it was

Literally a subplot on an

Episode of "friends."

It was actually one of the more

Relatable scenarios that gang

Found themselves in, with

Perhaps the least relatable

Being when joey met prince

Andrew's ex-wife fergie and

Didn't ask her what she knew and

When.

But nowadays, everything feels

Like a gym membership.

And companies can use some of

The same "dark patterns" that

Got you in to a subscription, to

Confuse you when you're trying

To get out of it.

To give you just one example:

Take hello fresh.

Until recently, here's what you

Had to do to cancel your

Subscription: you'd go to your

Account page, and then have to

Scroll down to the bottom, where

You'd find a bolded "pause my

Deliveries" button, and a less

Obvious "cancel" one.

If you hit "cancel."

It took you to a page listing

All the benefits of subscribing,

With a bolded button to stay

Subscribed, and then, further

Down, an un-highlighted "cancel"

Button.

But let's say you hit "cancel"

Again.

At that point, you'd have to

Tell them "why" you're

Canceling, by clicking one of a

Number of reasons-- you

Couldn't proceed unless you

Picked one-- and then it'd take

You to a page offering you a fix

For that complaint, with--

Again-- a highlighted button to

Stay subscribed, and an

Un-highlighted "cancel anyway"

Box.

And if you clicked on that box,

It'd finally cancel your

Subscription-- while also

Offering you, after you'd gotten

Used to clicking un-highlighted

Buttons to keep cancelling, an

Un-highlighted one to undo the

Fucking cancellation.

And look, you might be thinking

"well, if you just pay attention

And read what you're clicking

You should be fine."

But here's the thing,

"pay attention" and "read" are

Two very difficult things to ask

Of the entire population all the

Time, and companies are banking

On that.

And it's by no means just

"hello fresh."

In fact, in the same lawsuit

Where the ftc accused amazon of

Tricking people into signing up

For prime, it pointed out just

How hard they made it for you to

Undo that mistake.

>> it also claims amazon made

It very difficult to navigate

Canceling a prime subscription

With a four-page, six-click, and

15-option process the ftc says

Amazon called iliad after the

Nearly 16,000 line ancient poem.

>> john: yeah, and that's pretty

Telling.

You don't name something "the

Iliad" because it's easy to get

Through.

You do that because it's a dense

Slog that makes you want to kill

Yourself.

If you wanted a literary

Shorthand for something easy to

Get through and obvious to

Figure out, you'd name it "the

Da vinci code."

Remember-- the answer to the

Riddle is "apple."

Don't worry, that's only a

Spoiler if you're a complete

Idiot.

Amazon ultimately settled that

Case for $2.5 billion and had to

Make changes to its processes to

Comply with the settlement,

Though it still denies it ever

Tried to deceive prime members.

And sure.

But again, amazon is not alone

-- uber, match, vonage, and

Shutterstock have all faced

Similar lawsuits.

And some companies will go even

Further to trap you in

Subscriptions.

Adobe, for instance, has made it

A practice to charge a hefty

"early termination fee" to end

Subscriptions - but as the ftc

Put it, hid the relevant details

In fine print and behind

Optional textboxes and

Hyperlinks.

And they definitely knew what

They were doing, given, in

Internal emails, one employee

Wrote there'd be absolutely no

Way to kill off that early

Termination fee, or talk about

It more obviously, without

Taking a big business hit, and

That the fee was a bit like

Heroin for adobe.

Which isn't good.

Describing anything as a "bit

Like heroin" is bad, even if

It's something harmless.

If you described your

Boyfriend's obsession with

Basketball player luka doncic as

"a bit like heroin," i'd tell

You to dump him and i'd tell him

To get a real personality.

And that's me being polite.

Because if you asked me after

I've had a few cosmos i'd tell

You to stop choosing men that

Ignore you like your father, but

We all know you're not ready to

Hear that.

And while adobe and other

Companies will rationalize all

Of this as just giving customers

Greater flexibility and

Convenience, it's clear, people

Are fed up with this.

Frustration with subscriptions

May be the one remaining thing

That actually unifies all of us,

Across party lines.

Which is incredible, as it seems

We can't even agree on simple

Things nowadays like super bowl

Performers, or which pokemon

Would be the most delicious?

And i know what you're thinking:

Gyrados or a magikarp, something

Like that, maybe psyduck, but

The very fact that you're not

Even open to ditto is why this

Is such a point of discussion.

So, what can we do?

Well, there's stuff you can do

On a personal level.

You can check your bank accounts

For recurring subscriptions.

If you have an iphone, tap your

Name and go to "subscriptions"

Also, try not to sign up for any

Free trials without setting a

Reminder to cancel them, and if

You've been paying for an e-fax

Service for years, just throw

Your phone in a river, you can't

Be trusted with it anymore.

But it shouldn't just be on

Individuals to have to fight all

This bullshit.

And there's actually a policy

Solution that'd fix a bunch of

What you've seen tonight, and it

Was pushed by biden's head of

The ftc, lina khan.

It's called "click to cancel,"

And when you hear it described,

It sounds pretty reasonable.

>> under this new click to

Cancel rule canceling must be

Quick and easy.

So if you signed up online there

Needs to be a click to cancel

Option.

So if you sign up in person the

Ftc will require the option to

Cancel over the phone or online.

Now the ftc also says companies

Must make information easy to

Find before obtaining your

Billing information and

Consumers must be informed of

What they're agreeing to before

Signing up.

>> john: right!

That sounds pretty good, and

It's kind of shocking we even

Needed the government to require

That.

If starbucks announced a new

Company policy of, "the display

Bagels are not to be used for

Anything other than eating," i'd

Have a lot of questions about

Why that wasn't already a rule

To start with.

But unfortunately, last summer

-- just days before "click to

Cancel" was supposed to take

Effect-- it was voided by one

Of the most conservative federal

Courts on procedural grounds.

And while trump's ftc has hinted

They might draft their own rule,

We'll see what that looks like

Or if it even happens.

In the meantime, to their

Credit, some states have stepped

Up.

California passed a bill

And was one of the first.

And just this year, both

Virginia and louisiana have

Passed their own versions of

Click to cancel, with new york

City planning to roll out its

Version in october.

In fact, if you live somewhere

Without good protections, and

Are struggling to cancel a

Subscription, one thing some

People have said works is simply

Changing your location to

California, as that can

Apparently sometimes force a

Service to offer you a "click to

Cancel" option.

But obviously, "pretend to live

In california" shouldn't be the

System here.

And for the last time, i know

Subscriptions aren't the most

Pressing issue in the world

Right now.

Because that'd be war, poop, and

Pick me donuts, remember.

We all agreed on that.

But it's frustrating that

There's a tantalizingly easy fix

To a ubiquitous problem within

Reach, and we can't seem to have

It.

It's honestly incredibly rare

That we end up discussing a

Story on this show where the

Solution is simply, "there

Should just be a button for

That."

But when it comes to

Subscriptions, we could actually

Have one of those buttons, and

It would fix your problems and

Fix people's lives more than i'm

Comfortable admitting.

So i'd argue companies should

Give us that option.

And if they won't, they should

Be forced to.

And look, that's me being

Polite.

Because if you asked me after a

Couple cosmos, i'd say they

Should try redirecting all the

Energy they put into developing

Labyrinthine systems to trap

Their customers, into making

Products or services people

Actually want to keep buying.

But we all know they're not

Ready for that conversation.

[cheers and applause]

And now this.

>> announcer: and now,

Highlights from over the years

From the iowa state fairs

Husband calling contest.

>> bradley!

Bradley!

I have chocolate.

>> yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo.

>> bruce!

Brewster!

Daddy boo-boo bear.

>> tray!

Tray!

>> it's time for dinner!

>> dominick!

Where's the card we have for the

Chaos celebration?

>> dinner, dinner, dinner!

Come to dinner!

>> john, come on, these are your

Kids too!

John!

>> rory!

Rory!

I love you!

>> john: that's our show.

Thank you so much for watching.

We're off the next few weeks.

Back september 20th.

Good night!

[cheers and applause]