Original subtitles

(PLANE ENGINE HUMMING)

Whoa!

(CHUCKLING)

Hey, you know, oh, you know, sometimes this--

this flight can get a little rocky, you know?

I gotta tell you the truth, every so often even I get a little jumpy.

But, um, I tell you, for some reason, I feel totally calm today.

It's like there's somebody watching over me

and there's no reason to worry at all.

Is that crazy?

WOMAN: No. Not at all.

Oh, good.

(LAUGHING)

On the other hand, there's always a possibility this could turn out to be

one of God's little jokes.

(RATTLING)

(SIGHING)

Morning, Antonio. Morning, Helen. Morning, Fay.

Coffee and a doughnut, please.

We're out of doughnuts.

Oh, that's right. Good morning, Roy.

Brian, do you know what day it is today?

I certainly do. It's our annual evaluation day.

I'm surprised you remembered.

You kidding me? I can just hear Joe now.

"As you know, it's that time of year when Sandpiper Air

"takes a moment to examine itself."

You know, you just want to hit him in the forehead with a suction dart, you know?

Oh, stop complaining. At least you have a job you like.

Wish I could find something meaningful to do with my life.

Now, can you imagine being 60 years old

and still stuck working behind a counter in this stupid airport?

Yes, I can.

Oh, Fay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

No--no--no it's okay, Helen.

At least I managed to get in some exciting times before I ended up here.

Not everyone can say that.

You know, I don't know why Hackett bothers with those evaluations.

If someone's a bad employee, you just can their sorry butt.

If they're good, you slowly and methodically take away their self-confidence

until they're convinced they'll never be able to get a job anywhere else.

Quick, call the Pope. Heaven must be missing an angel.

Brian, can I see you in my office?

Gee, I wonder what this could be about.

Gee, thanks for seeing me on such short notice, Doc.

The pain starts about here.

Yeah, I know where the pain starts.

Have a seat, Brian.

As you know it's that time of year when Sandpiper Air

takes a moment to examine itself...

And discovers to its horror it has no sex organs.

Gee, what a surprise. You're not taking this seriously.

All right, let's just cut the baloney, Joe, okay?

Isn't this the meeting where you tell me how I'm doing and I apologize

and I tell you I'm going to do better?

Yeah.

All right. Well, consider it done.

Thanks for your time and I'll see you at dinner.

Great. Send Fay in. BRIAN: All right.

(KNOCKING)

Hey, Joe.

Lowell, uh, look, I'm a little busy. I'm in the middle of the...

The evaluations. Yeah, I know.

Every year at this time I kind of feel left out.

Could you evaluate me?

Oh, well, you don't work for me directly, Lowell, you work for the airport.

Well, I know, but maybe you could just do it as a favor to me.

I'd like to know how I'm doing.

Well, sure, all right. Have a seat.

Uh,

basically you're doing a great job, Lowell.

But, uh, since you asked, I'd have to say that you have a tendency to be

just a little bit slow on paperwork.

Oh, really?

I don't have to sit here and listen to this nonsense.

I don't work for you, Mr. High and Mighty.

Ah, good luck, Fay. He's in a mood.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Have a seat, Fay.

What can I say? You are just about the perfect employee.

You're trustworthy, you're dependable and--and resourceful.

And I literally could not run this place without you.

Oh, pshaw.

Which makes it all the harder for me to say that, uh,

I'm not going to be able to give you your annual raise this year.

You're not?

No, I'm not. I'm sorry. The economy has hit me really hard.

Well, it's hit me hard, too, Joe.

I was counting on that extra money.

I mean, it's not as if it was an overly generous raise, but it was something.

Fay, if there was any other way...

Joe, let me tell you a little story.

FAY: It was about six years ago.

The flight was number 211, from New York to Honolulu.

I'd been working the "pineapple run" for several years,

but this flight was like no other.

A handsome young man in seat 17 B,

was about to change my life forever.

Oh, no, no you don't. Not this time.

What?

You always use that story to soften me up.

It got you a dental plan. It even got you an extra week vacation. But this time,

I honestly don't have the money.

Oh, you're right, Joe. I know these are tough times. I guess we'll just have to

get through it together.

That's the spirit, Fay. I'm truly sorry about this.

Well, don't be.

You run a wonderful business.

All your employees love you.

And another thing, Mr. Boss Man,

Mr. Quick With the Paperwork,

that crack about my paperwork was a cheap shot!

Technically, he doesn't work for me.

Hi, Fay.

Oh, Brian, good news.

I found several ways of cutting our costs.

I've combined two inventory control forms into one.

Oh. I got a better phone rate on our long distance calls.

And, uh, I'm even using the backs of these little scratch pads.

So, we'll get our annual raises yet.

(LAUGHING)

We get raises?

Hey, hey, Brian, look what just came!

Oh, Joe, wait till...

Oh, one second, Fay! Look. Check it out!

Oh! Oh! Oh! New leather flight jackets! Zowie!

BRIAN: Oh, God! These are beautiful!

Aren't they? Look, lambs' wool lining.

Hey, look, look, look.

(BLEATING)

Oh, I love these little guys.

Yeah, oh, and look. Look.

Oh!

BOTH: Matching gloves!

(BOTH EXCLAIMS)

What?

Oh, jeez, Fay, I know how this must look.

Do you?

They--They really weren't that expensive.

Oh, are you kidding me? I've seen Sporty's catalog. These are top of the line.

Will you shut up?

Fay, I ordered these jackets weeks ago,

when our financial picture was much different.

Oh, yes, weeks ago.

Often referred to as the good old days of wealth and prosperity.

I'll send them back.

(EXCLAIMING)

No, it's not about that, Joe. It's about how I'm regarded around here.

It seems that in the Sandpiper pecking order,

I come in third after a couple of leather jackets.

Okay, don't say that, Fay. You know how important you are to me.

I couldn't run this place without you.

Well I'm afraid you're going to have to. I can't work here anymore.

Oh, Fay, don't do this. Come on. I-- I'll find a way to give you your raise.

It's too late. I quit.

Oh, come on, Fay. Fay!

This may be a bad time, but did I hear something about raises?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Do you have room on the 4:15 flight to New Bedford or not?

Ma'am, if you'll just be patient one second.

Brian, what's taking so long?

Uh, I--I can't get into the computer. I don't know Fay's password.

Have you tried "happy"?

Also "sunny," "chirpy," "jolly," "rosy,"

"perky,""Dopey," "Doc," and "Sneezy,"

We need some help here.

When is that temp that you hired from the agency supposed to show up?

I called them. She's on her way. She's coming over.

Did you apologize to Fay?

She won't even accept my phone calls.

I must have really hurt her feelings.

Hey, no hurry, guys. I'll just swim home.

Oh, no, no, wait, ma'am. Please, folks, please. Please bear with us.

We'll have you on your way as soon as possible.

Oh, oh, oh, Teresa. She's here. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey, Teresa, you made it.

Buenos dias.

Uh, my directions were okay?

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Right, right. Come on, come on, come on.

I want to introduce you to my brother, Joe.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Uh, Teresa, this is my brother, Joe Hackett.

Uh, unless my high school Spanish fails me,

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Oh.

Uh, Joe, this is Teresa Melendro,

our new Fay. She is from Bolivia.

Hello, Teresa.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Brian, could I talk to you over here just a second? Yeah.

Doesn't she speak any English?

No ingles, no ingles.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

It's all right. It's all right, Teresa.

You're--you're upsetting her, Joe.

Brian, for crying out loud, if she can't speak the language,

how is she going to run a computer?

Joe, Joe, Joe, first of all, it's a very user-friendly program, huh?

She'll probably just, you know, pick it up.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

She says she can't wait to get started.

Are we going to get any service?

Uh, yes, sir. I'm going to take care of you right now.

Uh, uh, Teresa, do you think that you could put these luggage tags on the bags?

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Luggage tags on the bags?

(EXCLAIMING) Luggage tags on the bags!

(CRYING)

Oh, now, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What kind of airline is this?

I'd love to help you out, Joe,

but thank God I have a flight.

Uh, Brian, you can't leave now.

(BRIAN REPLIES IN SPANISH)

Teresa, uh, yes, sir. Now, uh, where was it you were going again?

Over there.

Oh, no, wait. Sir, please, just, folks...

(TERESA SOBBING)

Fay, Fay, does this mean you're coming back?

Just to get my coffee mug.

Oh, I see my replacement's crying already. She'll fit in beautifully.

Fay, please.

No, I'm not coming back. Don't you understand English?

No ingles, no ingles.

Yeah, I've got you. No ingles, no ingles. Here.

Uh, Fay, let me tell you a little story.

JOE: I was on flight 211, from New York to Honolulu.

I needed a vacation. I was hurting bad.

My whole life had centered on flying and I was about to give it all up.

Until a certain flight attendant changed my life forever.

FAY: Oh, no, you don't, mister. Forget it, Joe. Save your breath.

You--you've gotten away too many times with that story.

Anyway, I've got another job.

You have? Where?

You're working for Roy? Fay, how could you?

Do you see any other airlines around here?

All right, Hackett.

Quit bothering my employee.

ROY: Come on, Fay.

You've got a new home, here at Aeromass.

Why, thank you, Roy.

Now quit grinning like a silly jackass and get to work.

I finished reading the best book today.

It's called Scarlett and it's all about this woman, her name is Scarlett O'Hara,

who goes to her father's birthplace in Ireland.

Oh, yeah, I heard that was really good.

Oh, yes, I loved it.

But I wanted to know so much more about Miss Scarlett

and, uh, Rhett Butler.

For instance, what happened to them earlier, during the Civil War?

Perhaps, you've heard of Gone With The Wind?

What is this, Gone With Wind?

You've never heard of the book by Margaret Mitchell, Gone With The Wind?

And perhaps the most famous movie ever made?

I was sick for a while there.

Antonio, uh, Gone With The Wind

tells all about those characters before and during the Civil War.

Get out.

Yeah, see, the book Scarlett is what's called a sequel to Gone With The Wind.

You know, like, um, Return of the Jedi and Empire Strikes Back.

Oh, yes. I--I like those.

Right. Well, they're sequels to the movie Star Wars.

Star Wars?

All right. I'm going home.

Cochran, I hope you took care of those reservations for tomorrow.

Oh, yes, Roy. Your podiatrist appointment is at 4:00.

You've got Nutri-System at 5:00.

And at 6:30, I got you your usual corner booth

at Fat Tony's Meatball Dreamhouse.

(CHUCKLING)

Good to have you aboard, Fay!

HELEN: Night, Fay. Night, Helen.

Um, I--I didn't know you were still here.

I'm just clearing out a few of my personal things.

Are you taking that picture with you?

Yes, I am. I'm the one who asked him for his autograph.

Yeah, but he flew on my airline. That picture gets us business.

Well it can get you the moon for all I care. It's going with me.

Uh, no, it's not. It's my picture, Fay.

That is my picture, Joe. No, Fay...

Hey--Hey--Hey! What's going... What's going on here?

She's trying to take my autographed picture of Richard Roundtree.

Well, it's mine. N-Now just give it to me so I can go home.

No, it is not yours, it is mine. Shaft gave it to me!

Well, I'm the one he called back!

Okay, stop, now. Stop it! Stop, stop bickering!

Let go. Let go. Let... Sit down.

(BOTH SIGHING)

Now, let me tell you a little story.

It all began on flight 211 from New York to Honolulu.

You weren't even there.

I know I wasn't, but I've heard you tell it so many times

I feel like I was.

BRIAN: Joe was on his way to Hawaii.

He was at the low point of his life.

But as fate would have it, he met a fair maiden

and they spoke those first words now carved in their hearts.

Uh, excuse me, I asked for a pillow an hour ago.

Wad up your jacket.

What are you taking a jacket to Hawaii for anyway?

The mean temperature there is, like, 85 degrees.

Read a brochure.

Uh, excuse me, Miss,

what's her problem?

Fay? Oh, the airline's forcing her to retire

and I think she's a little bitter.

She's the sweetest person in the world usually.

Yeah, I find that hard to believe.

I think she's been drinking a little.

More than a little.

Uh, uh, take over for me, Tammy. I'm--I'm taking a break.

Uh, excuse me. I was hoping to stretch out on that extra seat, there.

This is coach, pal. Suck it up.

But... Look, ma'am, I understand you've had a bad day...

Bad?

...but I'm not... Bad day?

You don't know what a bad day is.

Let me tell you something, mister.

I'm the best stewardess this airline ever had.

Uh, uh, you might not know it today, but I am.

And you know what they're doing to me?

They're letting me go, they're retiring me.

They're-- They're-- They're putting me on the ground.

Might as well put me in the ground.

Uh, excuse me, but, uh, I'm not doing so great myself.

You want a drink?

Yeah, uh, it'll take the edge off.

Uh, here, uh, pick a color.

I've tried them all. They work equally well.

(SIGHING) What the hell.

Uh, oh, uh, oh, you need a glass.

(SPLASHING)

There you go.

Thanks.

So, what's your name?

Joe.

Joe. Joe.

That's an Indian name, isn't it?

Uh, sure, why not?

Yeah, well, glad to know you, Joe.

I'm Katherine.

I thought that other stewardess called you Fay.

Aw, she's a dope.

I always liked the name Katherine.

Whatever you say, Katherine.

Uh, let me tell you something, Joe.

Don't ever go to work in the airline industry.

They'll break your heart every time.

Uh-uh, what do you do, anyway?

I'm a pilot for a charter company.

Poor stupid bastard.

You know, uh, that's a figure of speech.

Uh, what's your tale of woe, Injun Joe?

You really want to hear?

Yeah, it'll cheer me up.

Well, my fiancee and I were about to be married, you know...

Mmm.

What's her name? Carol.

I don't like that name.

Uh, your fiancee, Linda.

Go ahead.

Well, um, I was going to quit the charter company

and start my own commuter airline.

Carol was going to work the uh...

Linda was going to work the ground.

And, uh, I was going to do all the flying.

It was going to be perfect.

Then, uh,

last week she, she ran off with my brother.

Oh! She doesn't deserve the name Linda.

You know the worst of it?

Flying was my life.

I lived it, I breathed it, I tasted it ever since I was a kid.

But now, why bother?

I guess, I'll just find some other line of work.

You--You say flying was your life.

You know, I helped build this airline.

I mean, I have built it from the ground up.

I did everything. I wrote tickets. I checked baggage.

I even pumped fuel. You know, once 15 years ago

on a flight to Milwaukee, I crawled through the baggage hole

and I kicked the landing gear down myself.

And I did it with a smile. You know why?

Because I find the good in every damn thing.

So what are you going to do now?

Grow old and die.

Me, too, I guess.

You want a drink?

I... You know, I--I really don't drink.

Oh, me either.

I guess that's something we have in common.

Yeah. Guess, neither one of us was meant to be in the airline business either.

Except maybe we were meant to be in it together.

You and me?

(LAUGHING) Yeah, right.

Yeah. I'm absolutely serious, Joe.

I know everything there is to know about the airline business.

And you're a wonderful pilot.

Well, how do you know?

Well, you're still alive, aren't you?

I mean, Joe, what's the worst that could happen?

You know something? You are right.

I mean, why should we let other people ruin our dreams?

The hell with them.

Katherine, you have got a deal.

I am going to start that airline

and you are going to be right there with me.

Oh, that's a deal. Uh, what kind of plane do you have, a 737?

(LAUGHING)

No! A 727?

Not exactly.

How about a 7 and 7? That's a good idea.

Hey, I tell you what, why don't we save that one for a special occasion?

You're right. We don't need that one, do we?

No we don't.

No, we've got all these others.

BRIAN: And as our heroes continued winging westward,

Fay decided to seal their bargain

with that time-honored and solemn tradition.

She threw up on Joe's shoes.

And then, four hours later, after you finally sobered up,

the idea of you two guys joining forces still seemed good,

and here you are.

Oh, Joe. Katherine.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, will you come back to Sandpiper?

Oh, of course I will. I'll start tomorrow.

Oh, great.

Oh, and, Brian, thank you.

Yeah, thanks, Beav.

Oh, forget it, Wally.

And, Joe, look what I've got.

I don't believe it.

Brian, get some glasses.

You kept it all this time?

Well, you told me to save it for a special occasion.

Fay, you're the best.

Here we go. I--I used to have a little packet of macadamia nuts

that went along with this. But about a year ago, I broke down.

Uh, what shall we drink to? Sandpiper Air.

ALL: Sandpiper Air!

Hey, you know, Joe, now, that everybody's in such a good mood and all,

it's supposed to be a pretty cold winter coming up.

I thought it would be kind of cool if I had something nice to help me

keep myself warm, you know. I was thinking if I could keep...

Brian, Brian, I'm sending the jackets back.

I was talking about Teresa.