Original subtitles

Dear Mom and Dad, this letter may come as a bit of a surprise, but you guys

have always loved and supported me, so I just couldn't keep what I'm doing from

you any longer.

I know you're probably going to be upset, but all I ask is that you read

this all the way through before you pass any judgment.

Let me start off by saying that I'm happier now than I've ever been.

I'm not doing drugs. I haven't become some raging alcoholic.

I actually feel more stable than I ever have in my 22 years.

I know I'm not that old, but I am an adult.

I'm getting way ahead of myself.

I can't believe that this can make me so nervous.

Let me start at the beginning.

You know I came to California to follow a dream.

And I've really done that.

I can't honestly say that I would have foreseen myself in this position when I

was back in Colorado.

But circumstances have a funny way of leading us.

You probably remember that Julie had been writing to me since she graduated

from college.

So, when I decided to follow my acting itch, I more or less just followed her

here.

I guess I should have been a little more apprehensive about plopping myself into

a city of 11 million people, with 2 million of them waiting for their big

break.

But at the time, I was just too excited.

Julie had been my life at the university, and now I was coming to her

in my big chance at fame.

I didn't even tell Julie I was coming, but most of her letters at least

mentioned me visiting.

She was always talking about the important Hollywood producers that she

sees every day and all the stars she comes in contact with.

She knew that performing was my biggest dream, so she'd have to know I would

come out to L.A., right?

I hoped she'd help me get my start, but mostly, I hoped she'd be glad to see me.

Exciting. Oh, here I am. I came to teach myself.

Oh, God, I'm so glad you're here. Come down.

How was school?

Good. Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, God, I can't believe it. I'm so glad.

I can't believe it either. Man, Hollywood is so much different than I

pictured it. It's actually kind of disappointed in the daylight anyway.

But, boy, the people are weird.

You're telling me.

You haven't seen anything yet.

Wait until it gets dark out and the truly bizarre come out to roll the

streets.

It's weird, but life moves at a totally different pace here.

It's like you take some paint and some special effects, and we can turn some

old lumber into anything you can imagine.

We fabricate our own happiness here.

Sometimes some of us end up real miserable in the process.

Oh, I don't know. I think this place is so exciting.

I can't even imagine anybody being miserable here.

But it is so much different than I expected it. I mean, even this place. I

mean, it's cute and all, but it certainly doesn't look like the pictures

you sent me.

So, why don't you tell me where you got these?

These? I forgot about these.

I'm sorry. I owe you an explanation.

But I never thought for a million years that you'd ever show up. Oh, great.

Well, Your Honor, I did it because I didn't think I'd get caught.

I threw... I know,

I know, but I just didn't want you to think that I was living like

this, you know? But I just wanted you to think that I was doing better than this,

you know?

Actually, I know a lot more about this town from behind the scenes than I do

anything about being in front of a camera.

Yeah.

Send you a Christmas card when I'm missing things. Thanks.

So, where'd you get these?

All right. Well, let's see. This one in my regal attire. That's very pretty.

I actually thought that I was the second lead in this action-adventure film.

Turns out the only action I saw was driving around a bunch of students from

location to location all day.

How? Who is this handsome guy? This is the first agent that ever hit on me.

I had to fuck him for the part.

At least he's cute.

Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, and here I am lounging by my luxurious pool.

My girlfriend Steph took these when we showed up a day early to set up for our

catering gig.

Catering? What are you talking about, catering?

Actually, I'm a waitress at this really beautiful restaurant down on Sunset.

It's a bunch of overpriced food with a bunch of overdressed customers.

Can you believe it?

We're actually known for our glamorous dining experience, and all of the plants

are silk.

In California.

Doesn't matter, though, because we just mainly serve a bunch of plastic people.

So, let me ask you a question, and I think I know the answer to this one.

What about all those big movie producers and, you know, directors and bigwigs you

know?

I serve them lunch.

Let me get this straight.

You can't get me a part in your next multi-million dollar picture, but you

can serve me a mean lunch.

All right, stop it. You're going to hurt my delicate feelings.

I'm sorry.

All right, now, let's get you a little bit unpacked, and then we'll go have

someone serve us some food.

Okay. But I have to get to bed early because I have the breakfast shift at

Trendy Du Jour tomorrow.

Oh, that's okay. I need to get up early, too, if I'm going to conquer this town

by Friday.

Good luck. One more question.

You ever heard of this guy?

He came by the college a couple months ago and did a lecture.

I don't recognize the name, but I probably know him.

Yeah, maybe I'll start with him.

Your acting is excellent.

And you're a very beautiful girl.

It's just one question.

How dedicated to your craft are you?

Well, I believe you get out exactly what you put in. And I believe in putting all

of myself into anything I consider worthwhile.

Excellent answer.

Why don't you come around here and show me some of that deep art.

Thank you.

Oh my...

I gotta tell you, I'm really impressed with your enthusiasm, baby.

Find a part that's fit for you. I'll call you. You'll hear from me in a

couple weeks. You come back and see me, okay?

Thank you for keeping me in mind, I really appreciate it. No problem.

Excuse me.

I am sorry. I have an appointment in 15 minutes and there was no secretary up

front. I'm sorry. I'll be gone. No, come in. You leave your name and number up

front. Come on in.

It's all right. Just an audition.

I'm really going to be going now.

And by the way, if my dick looked like that...

I wouldn't be walking around naked in the daylight.

And then he asked me to join him.

I mean, like I was just dying to be the next in line, you know?

That hides the hand look.

What do you mean?

Like every other pig that wallows my way.

I insulted his penis, and while he stammered and tried to recover, I left.

Oh, you're my girl.

I gotta warn you. Oh, come on. I would have liked to have joined in. The sex

looked great. And he had a big cock, too.

But, you know, is this the principle of the whole thing?

You know, I mean, what do you have to do to get your parts?

Doesn't anybody believe in talent anymore?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, they care if you're talented.

It's just not about the acting.

I can't believe that this whole thing is all about sex in this town.

Look.

I'm the last one that should be discouraging you here, but from my

perspective, that's mostly about the sex.

I mean, I've had some roles in some B-movies, and in every single one of

them, I had to take my clothes off, except for one.

And in that one, I got shot in the first 30 seconds by some drug-crazed maniac.

The only reason I got that part is the director decided he needed a little more

blood to really make his opening statement.

I was supposed to be an extra. I was standing around, and they grabbed me.

Julie, you just can't give up.

What happened to that never-say-die attitude of yours?

Oh, that.

It died.

You know, I'd like to say that I toughed it out, but I pretty much let my dream

die.

I don't like to talk about it, though. It's too difficult.

Wonderful California sunshine.

So, is this what I should expect from all my interviews?

I feel like I should ask for a picture before I go to an audition.

Yeah, well, the bull dykes are the worst.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Even the women hit on you?

Must be true what they say about absolute power.

I tell you, I've spent months trying to believe how many of these scumballs have

told me flat out... That if I fucked them, I'd get the part.

Some of them were even telling the truth.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just not talented enough, or just not in the cards or something,

but... Hey, I learned to give one hell of a blowjob.

You know, I mean, far be it from me to question anyone's sexuality.

But this whole thing is, Hollywood thing is just way too stereotypical.

I mean, were you at least into the sex?

The truth?

Not usually.

I guess that's why I quit going to the auditions for the smaller companies.

Adding that the bigger studios, the competition is a lot fiercer.

I need a resume twice as big as mine to even get considered.

I don't know the answer.

I mean, I have women regulars down at work tell me it never really gets any

better. You're not exactly filling me with confidence here, Julie.

Well, essentially, you select the more important people for the more important

roles.

Any more wine?

Yeah, face it.

I mean, once you're a big box office draw, you're finally out of the pressure

loop.

But how many of those can you name?

You know what?

I've gotten more big rug burns on my knees than I ever got big parts.

Usually my parts are small.

So are the men.

But hey, I bet a big sex maniac like you can figure out a better way to deal with

it.

Whatever happened to that Tobias the 23rd or whatever his name was you had

that big crush on?

Don't make fun of Toby. He was an incredible fuck.

Yeah. Didn't I tell you how I got a hold of him finally?

We were at this party and he was with some other chick.

So I just started hitting on her and hitting on her and he spent so much time

trying to keep me away from her.

We ended up spending the whole night together.

It was great. Good plan. Hey, this one is finally doing its trick, and I'm in

the mood for a good story.

Tell me everything.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, yes.

Oh, God.

Yes, sir.

Yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Mom.

No!

Such a woman, kind soul.

So good to those around him.

You know what?

What? I wanted to do him, too.

You? Him?

Oh, wait a minute. Hold my thought.

What was that?

I don't know.

Steph! Hey, Julie.

Hey, woman.

Ooh, you must have read our minds. We're on empty. Oh, I try. I'll give you some.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, sorry.

Uh, Stephanie?

Oh, too much. Nice touch.

Wine and women is much more exciting than wine and roses.

Oh, I just got this from some guy down on the street.

I didn't want it to become litter.

You're right.

Steph, I told you that Kyler is my best friend. You don't have to pretend with

her.

See, Steph doesn't really swing the guy way.

So, she comes over a couple times a week. It's really stressful.

Well, it sounds like my kind of friend.

Looks like a good friend.

Still geez already.

Hey, what's this kid?

Come up here.

Yeah.

Who's the princess?

I don't know. They covered it up.

Hmm.

Twice the fun.

Looks like I'm done.

But he's with another hug. Yes. That's the problem. It's all about the hug. All

right. All right. Looks like I'm done.

Keep going.

I wanted those.

You do?

Yeah. Well.

So go get it.

That's the one thing that's good about L.A.? They have the coolest toys.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Definitely.

Interesting night.

Definitely.

That's what brings back one.

Well, I got a lot.

You got the whole box.

Okay. Oh, that was bad. Wow.

That's too small, though. Cool.

Let's see. I got one of those.

I told you I had one of those. There you go. Now I believe you. Cool.

Hey,

that's my old favorite.

Yeah,

we had several warm nights in Colorado with this one, huh? Yes, we did.

Why don't we see if we could maybe put a California twist on that?

the hill and you've had way too much to drink so just stay here you know my

bed's big enough besides just because i'm done now doesn't mean i won't want

some more in the morning and it sure would be a shame for you to have to

drive all the way back here are you sure banker

and tired of the bed okay okay

Does somebody have something I can sleep in, please?

I do. Here, I'll get it.

Cool. We'll all wear Kylie's clothes.

Yeah. That is what our friends are for, right?

I agree.

Don't let me sleep too late.

Got an audition downtown tomorrow at 11.

Audition? With who?

His name's William Pratt.

Guess he's got his own real office, though.

Yeah, he's got a real office, but you better be ready to put it out if you

want the part.

At least he's kind of cute.

Well, we'll see how it goes.

You know, if I had to have sex to get a job in this town, you know, I'd rather

do adult movies.

I mean, at least then I'd get to pick the type of people I'm having sex with

and the type of sex I'm having.

That sounds like a lot more fun than the other way.

Around here you can find lots of legitimate agencies for that. These

sites are a lot more straightforward with the kind of request for sex.

You know what? What? She's been licensed by the state.

Really?

Yep.

I

can't

tell you how far I walked.

I think I have high heels that have 20,000 miles on them.

It didn't take me more than a couple of months before I could predict the scene.

Nine times out of ten.

Well, you certainly look like you have the proper qualifications, but your

resume is all college stuff, and it's a big time.

Nothing in your resume has really prepared you for the love scenes they do

in Hollywood.

Fortunately for you, I have...

Contact's in a lot of big places.

But I really don't know how comfortable you are with your body.

I need to know that before I can represent you.

Why don't we go through this and see how it works, and we'll take it from there,

okay? Okay.

Let's see.

Tanya rips off her clothing, overcome with a passion for Cameron long denied.

She wants him, and she wants him now.

I'll tell you what. I'll be Cameron.

You kind of just work on it a little bit. And get into Tanya's play. Get

right there, okay? And see what happens, all right?

Okay. Well, let's see how I respond to Tanya's part.

Great. Yeah, I need to loosen up a little bit.

And just get into Tanya's character.

Oh, that's much better.

I don't think Tanya liked Cameron much.

Send in the next girl.

Oh, it's a guy? Better.

I don't want to sound like everything I ran into was sleazy, but it really was

the vast majority of the time.

I mean, I got into some real auditions, and I did meet some real honest agents,

but I never had the money to join the workshops that they wanted or to study

under the acting coaches they recommended.

All those times I called you on the phone when my confidence was almost

destroyed.

And I love you for the support you gave.

It got to the point where I wouldn't even get dressed up to answer the ads or

the supposed leads.

I could tell just from the tone of someone's voice on the phone whether it

was worth my time or not.

So, may I make an appointment to come by your office tomorrow, sir?

Well, you know, I discovered a few years back that a big office with a lot of

overhead, that's a big waste of money. I move around.

I kind of go where the action is.

By the way, the name's Tony, as in Anthony.

Yes, I know.

I'm interviewing for a television pilot.

And if you might want to be interested in a television series, perhaps we could

get together. I know a great little coffee shop just off Santa Monica.

And we'll meet there.

Yeah.

You can't miss it. It's right next to a place called the Notel Motel.

I've had to stay there for a little while. My Benz is in the shop. You can't

miss it. It's got a big flashing sign up front that says hourly rate.

People are good there. They take good care of me. And they never make you want

to spend more money than you got. So what do you say? About 20 minutes?

Okay, so you want me to meet you at a coffee shop that's next to a motel that

charges an hour a week, and you want me to meet you there in 20 minutes.

Don't you want me to bring a resume or a headshot or anything?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Listen, you know, you might get stuck in traffic, though, so why don't you just

come straight to the motel? Go around back to room number 11.

Okay, well, listen, Tony, I'm sitting around in just boxer shorts and a T

-shirt, and I just painted my toenails red, and so they're wet.

Mind if I came back?

Absolutely. No big deal.

You don't have to impress me.

Okay, great.

Well, hey, I'll be there probably in about 15 minutes, so you be sure to be

there, okay?

Pizza

Palace.

Hello, Pizza Palace?

Hi, this is Gwendolyn, the administrative assistant for Mr. Tony

Lee. We're having a huge casting call down in Santa Monica, and we need ten

super deluxe extra large pizzas as soon as possible.

Oh, no, Tony always pays cash.

Great. It's room 11 at the Notel Motel?

Perfect. Thank you.

Hi, Santa Monica Police?

This is Stacy down from the Pizza Palace in Santa Monica.

Listen, one of our drivers just called in, and there's a guy in room 11 at the

No-Tell Motel that refuses to pay for a bunch of pizzas.

Normally we wouldn't have called you, but the driver said it looked like he

was hiding an underage girl in a bathroom.

We just thought you should know.

You're welcome.

It's a great part, sweetie.

And if you get the part, our company's going to fly you to France for the film

festival just to promote your movie.

You see, those people out there in Europe, they're going to love you.

Oh, wow, this is so exciting. I would do almost anything to get that part.

Would you?

Oh, yes.

I told you she had potential.

This place here, it's, uh, empty, right?

Why don't you, uh, go ahead and clear it out and...

Take yourself a little break while you're at it.

We got a little business to discuss here.

I don't think that'll be a problem.

I can speak to the boys in the back and make sure that this area is available to

you because I believe that the customer is always the boss.

I'm terribly sorry, miss, but the water main is broken and we're going to have

to shut down a little bit early tonight.

I prepared a fine salad for you. Of course, no charge.

And if you could just come with me, we'll eat.

I see.

Bummer about those old water mains.

These things happen.

Yeah.

I really was at an emotional roadblock.

I still had my dream, but apparently all that talk of morality and ethics that

you drummed into my head all that time I was growing up, stuck.

Because I just couldn't play the Hollywood game that way.

I met Vince just a couple months after I was here.

And I guess it's about time I told you.

We moved in together.

Now wait before you get all bent out of shape about that.

I'm going to finish.

He and I talked about it for a long time.

And as soon as we reached a decision, I changed my stage name to Kylie Ireland.

And I began acting in adult movies.

Now, I know we've never really talked about sex much.

And I know you probably have different views about it than I do.

But aside from moral differences...

I think you'll have to see that I'm in a wonderful and safe position.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm

-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I love

being nasty.

Should it be as nasty as you want it?

It's my turn now, sir.

yeah i like that i'm

gonna give you pleasure

So sweet.

It's nice to see these rubbing together.

Mmm, this is so good.

Mmm, yeah. Mmm,

yeah. Mmm,

and off.

You don't look me first, do you?

Pussy on your face. It's all hot and wet.

Oh, you look so beautiful between my thighs.

Beautiful mouth.

Oh, you eat such good pussy, too.

I'm just rubbing you.

I'm like, what's he doing up there in my mouth?

Yeah, just like that.

I love the way it feels.

A beautiful tongue.

Making it feel nice and hot and wet.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, like that.

I wish I could just slide one right into that wet puppy.

Okay, thank you.

Let me be calm.

uh oh

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah Yeah,

yeah

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It feels so fucking good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, it feels so fucking good.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

average month, I have the opportunity to spend a lot more time in front of the

camera than a typical Hollywood actress.

I have a total choice in every circumstance I work under, and I get to

pick every person that I interact with.

I feel more in control of my life than ever.

I make all of my own decisions about when I work or not and how long I can

continue this career.

I know it sounds crazy.

But adult actresses are not the degraded and abused bunch that the press paints

us out to be.

A smart woman in this business makes at least twice as much money as the men.

And we can travel the world signing autographs and doing feature appearances

at dance clubs.

In other words, I do perform as a new dancer.

But I'm very comfortable with that.

I have more freedom than almost anyone that I know.

And I'm proud of what I do and what I stand for.

You've always told me that that should be my ultimate goal.

It's important for you to understand that you haven't failed as parents.

You've raised a clear-thinking, intelligent, and independent daughter

that makes her choices with her eyes open.

You may not be proud of what I do.

but I hope you can remain proud of me.

That's still very important.

I really hope you can call me when you've had enough time to absorb all

this.

I have a lot of love to share with you.