Original subtitles

??

? Everyone sing ?

? Ba, ba, ba, ba ?

? Ba, ba, ba, ba ?

? Ba, ba, ba, ba ?

? Hand in hand, dance with me ?

? Have fun and play with me ?

? And now it's time to stop ?

Narrator: Aw, look at those sleeping angels.

It's nice to see them take it easy and sleep in for once.

[ Alarm beeping ] Good morning!

Uhh, give me 500 more minutes.

Frogs. Frogs everywhere. [ Snoring ]

[ Screams ]

Ice Bear still in REM cycle,

reality exploding macaroni.

[ Grunts ]

No time for exploding macaroni.

Huh?

The big parade is tomorrow.

All across Glitterwood,

families build floats celebrating their heritage

and parade them down Main Street.

A float? Like with ice cream?

No. Like this.

Together: Ooh!

Feel the unicorn's essence flowing from within.

Plantum raisum presto sprouto floriandis folleyageo!

??

Whoop-whoop.

??

[ Neighs ]

Nice. Ooh.

Wow. I feel like I'm in a really nice dream,

not the one I usually have about drowning in a pit of frogs.

[ Frogs croaking ] I can still hear the ribbiting.

Attempt number 34,

implementing a 900-donkey-power engine and nonstick gears.

Let's get this pony purring.

[ Banging, whirring ]

[ Techno music plays ]

The lights. The rhythm.

Ice Bear's time to rage.

? Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats ?

These floats are tight.

There will be so many amazing floats tomorrow.

Fawn floats.

Elf floats.

Giant gourd floats.

Ice cream floats?

And this year, I'm finally old enough to ride one.

Together: Yay!

So which one?

Which one what?

Which float are you gonna ride,

the unicorn one or the donkey one?

[ Shatter! ]

I hadn't thought about choosing at all.

H-How can I?

The unicorn float is chill and relaxing,

but the donkey float is fun and exciting.

What if I make a mistake?

What if I pick the wrong float

and regret it for the rest of my life?

[ Gasping ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Gasps ] Ohh!

[ Indistinct whispering ]

Okay, we've thought of a way

for you to pick which float.

It's very Unica-core.

We'll compare donkey stuff and unicorn stuff

and see which one comes out on top.

Totally airtight logic.

I'll try anything to help me

resolve this excruciating dilemma.

Then the first big category is...

food!

Great-Aunt Angie's famous Baked Unicorn

is the quintessential unicorn food.

Thanks, Dad.

??

[ All munching ]

I'm gonna name my first child after this cake.

Ice Bear can taste color for the first time.

Oh, trying out family recipes, huh?

Then you got to try

Great-Uncle Abraham's famous Donkey Habanero sauce.

It's hee-haw-hot.

[ Sizzling ]

[ Fire alarm ringing ]

[ Bird screeches ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

I feel...alive.

My sinuses are so clean,

I can smell enlightenment.

So which food did you like more?

That's like comparing apples to pineapples.

They're both delicious.

I guess this one's a tie, bros.

I bet we'll have a clear winner for the next category.

Dance!

The heart of a people.

Picking your favorite dance is a surefire way

to choose which float to ride.

Let the rhythm of the donkey pop-and-lock move you.

Y'all aren't ready. I'm saying, watch.

??

How do they move like that?

Ice Bear literally cannot look away.

Did someone say dance battle?

No, Dad!

Feast your eyes on this.

The unicorn uni-cyclone.

Cha. Cha-cha-cha-cha.

[ Grunts ]

[ Crackling ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[ Whirring ]

[ Grunting ] [ Giggles ]

Sorry, guys. It's another tie.

Both dances are just too much fun

and somewhat threatening.

'Cause the next category is...

weapons!

Ice Bear had a lot of fun researching this.

Unicorns use these ancient blades

to mow down our enemy --

weeds.

[ Shing! Shing! ]

Oooh! Beautiful.

We use the bright lights and loud sounds

to confuse our opponents.

[ Grunts ]

And because it looks cool.

[ Firecrackers whistling, popping ]

Ahh, the high-tech weapon of the donkeys.

Pyrotechnics.

Beautiful.

Ooh!

[ Fireworks whistling ]

Boom! Boom!

Pretty flashy, but so is this.

[ Whistling ]

Magic!

Well, time to pack it in.

Big day tomorrow with the parade and all.

Wow. Those were both so epic.

I know. Ice Bear likes weapons.

Ice Bear likes explosions. Tough call.

Yep. Pretty much impossible to choose.

So what'd you think, Unica? Which one?

[ Laughing ]

Yeah, it's a -- it's a tie.

It's a -- It's a -- It's another tie.

[ Hyperventilating ]

What am I gonna do?

We're back to square one, and the parade is tomorrow.

Yah?

Good idea, Box. It's so simple.

Just pick which one of your parents you like more.

[ Cracking, shatter ]

[ Screams ]

I can't pick between them.

[ Groans ]

Um, Unica, you okay?

Our rock-solid, foolproof, no-fail plan is failing.

Ice Bear knew bros should have gotten wacky-plan insurance.

I can't disappoint either of you.

I'm gonna sit out the parade.

[ Sobbing ]

??

[ Beats playing ]

[ Bass playing ]

[ Guitar playing ]

? You're so sure about the world as it is ?

? Must be great to be sure about that ?

? But what about the in-betweens like quantum mechanics ?

? Unstable heavy metals and Schrodinger's cat ?

? Nothing makes me lose more sleep like diminished chords ?

? Are they major or minor ?

? Am I sharp or flat ?

? It's hard to be in between ?

? Don't want to break your hearts ?

? I'm sure that I'm unsure ?

? Can't you see I'm torn apart ?

? You're so sure about the world ?

? As it is ?

Come on, Unica, we could pull a name out of a hat.

Or draw straws.

Or spin you around blindfolded

and see which one you walk towards.

Unica: No!

What's going on?

I heard Unica yelling. Is everything okay?

Unica can't choose between the unicorn float

or the donkey float.

And it's high-key tearing her apart.

Unica: I refuse to choose.

You can't make me.

I'd rather never look at another awesome, cool,

amazing float in my life than choose.

Sweetie, you don't have to choose.

Together: What?!

You're unicorn and donkey.

So you can do whatever you want.

You get to experience the best of both.

I guess I've been thinking about this all wrong,

but I can't be in two places at once.

I-I'm going to bed.

Hm, if only there was a way for Unica

to experience both floats simultaneously.

Ice Bear already started on transdimensional portal.

Hold up. We don't need a portal. [ Crunch! ]

But we do need some adult supervision.

I have an idea.

Hmm?

[ Pounding, whirring, beeping ]

[ Birds chirping ]

Grizzly: Unica, get down here right now!

I got something cool I got to show you!

Come on, come on, come on! Wake up, Unica!

Come on, come on. Wake up, Unica!

??

You bears did all this?

Well, we had some help.

We helped. Hey.

We're sorry for making you choose floats.

We didn't mean to project

our own reductive view of identity onto you.

Ice Bear apologizes for breaking Unica's brain.

Maybe this personalized Unica float can make up for it.

We even added ice cream, like a real float.

[ Flies buzzing ]

It's perfect.

Ohh-oooh-oooh!

??

Narrator: Well, that sure was a stressful decision for Unica,

but everybody came together and figured it out,

and that's why family's so chill, yo.

Gonna call my parents now, dog.

What up? Woof-woof.

? Let's find a new home to stay ?

? Let's find a new home to stay ?

??

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