Original subtitles

oh there's nothing like a cruise on the

lake especially when you know Ronald

Radford's at the helm I'd feel safer

ronald radford was at home you are going

too fast round too fast are you kidding

why I've been on boats practically all

my life where is Ronald

oh he'll be along in all my years of

sailing that was the very first accident

I have ever had isn't kidding yeah I'd

better call on our friend for help no

see you what else can I do

we're in big trouble without the things

help limits we're making a movie here

and I gotta test this mechanical monster

out before the big scene now beat it a

mechanical monster you could've fooled

me

oh you mean you were scared huh I knew

all the time it was the phony they're

just making a movie

Hey I'm moving

movie I could swear I heard an echo are

there any parts today will for a

handsome debonair brilliant that's never

mind that

how about Bertram gorgeous charming

talented actress you can check with the

director mister but guys will over at

the trailer right how do we get off this

contraption talk about being handled

with tentacle loving care stardom here

we go

but you mean you want to star on your

dressing-room door muscles you don't

have a dressing room I was getting to

that

and one other thing you ain't getting me

to do that vine swinging stunt no matter

what and you had the nerve to call

yourself a stunt man oh yeah well they

don't call you bad news bedazzle for

nothing the last four stunt men who

worked on your pictures ended up doing

needlepoint it to rest home

there's the directors trailer I can

hardly wait Oh's waiting to hurt me

no stunts no child oh yeah

well I quit you can't quit you're fired

I'll get you for this

how now brown cow to be or not to be

uh-huh the directors in for moving

experience Whateley yeah Wow if the back

director is in a big hurry to sign

Ronald or they're both in trouble we'd

better warn the people down by the lake

come on Angie don't wanna hit my hip my

shoelace is untied huh just what I

needed

once again the idol of millions goes to

the rescue so you want to be in the

movies well it just so happens that the

jungle man part is open I had to fire

this chicken because he couldn't handle

it huh

I can see why he should have retired

years ago I can certainly handle

anything which that has been might

attempt I'm in top shape big muscles big

talent and a head to match ok if your

price is right well how much do you want

if that's not enough my Butler can bring

more you young men are star material

you're all we're famous never mind them

what do I have to do so it's a piece of

cake with the few simple steps nothing

to it

good girl in this scene ronald saves

betty from a big windstorm one big

windstorm outdoing another action prop

man that's had some wind is my big

chance and I can't find the on button

okay lessons over piece of cake nothing

to it the jungle man climbs to the top

of an 80-foot tree leaps 20 feet through

the air to another tree what grabs a

vine swings at 80 miles an hour down to

within an inch of the lake you're

kidding and sweeps the jungle girl off

the raft to safety well I have this

strange allergy to vines you see hey

damn my trick knee is acting up again if

you go which reminds me I just have time

to keep my doctor appointment goodbye

don't you want to be famous Ronald

turning chicken superstar it's a piece

of cake Sonny well in spite of my

excruciating disabilities I will keep my

word

that's no chicken that's pure ham wants

to be a stuntman huh

well I'll be glad to give him a helping

hand

this is ridiculous all I have to do is

to jump over to that tree

Evans nobody could leap that far how

about that I did it with hardly any

effort at all

okay Ronald find a nice long vine and

start swinging here's a nice long pine

pardon the intrusion

I guess birds of a feather don't lock

together that'll teach that twerp to be

a stuntman now for my big scene whatever

you say dazzle that guy's been watching

too many monster movies this scene is

the biggie the climax that'll keep

everybody glued to their chairs now the

monster machine will approach slowly and

you Ronald will be into the water to

confront it Oh mr. bedazzle you everyone

I am the dirtiest yeah I told you I'd

get even bedazzled

Blue ICU

oh no you don't jungle man up in the

tree where you belong oh no I think I

played this scene before I always wanted

to be a makeup man okay we'll wash it

off then G do something the monsters

coming this way

I think it's time for that Joker to

retire from showbiz looks like a home

run to me mussels derive yeah

he was the greatest stuntman mover saw

hey watch that watch mussels divine Wow

mussels that was a great stunt and my

last oh I don't believe it they took out

all my best scene and mine too

well I guess we all know who the real

superstar is don't we