Original subtitles

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can, spins a web, any size, catch his seeds,

just like Clive's, look out, here comes the Spider-Man, is he strong, listen Doug, he's

got radio, active blood, can you swing from a thread, take a look, overhead, hey there,

there goes a Spider-Man, in the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a street of lights,

he arrives just in time, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, well-contained,

he's ignored, action is his reward to him, life is a great big hang up, wherever there's a hang up,

you'll find a Spider-Man.

Ouch, hey you really throw that rock, that's my special hard one, yeah, hard to catch, can you

hold on to it, do me a favor, if you get in today, don't throw it too much, Artie, it's my best pitch,

save it for the tight spot, huh Pete, I mean if I keep dropping the ball, I'll get dropped, get it,

okay, but I've got a feeling if I don't pitch today, I won't make the team, and if we don't make the

team, I know, no summer status, no girls I need, who goes out with a guy who can't make the team,

yeah everybody loves a winner, and you don't get to win if you don't play the game, come on we've

only got an hour, let's split to the zoo and tell the gang, yes listen well, as we have only an hour,

this is your final briefing, again I remind you our plan depends for its success on complete

deception and total shock, qualities for which I find you all, and would it be stupid?

yeah listen to the boss, go ahead Shakespeare, me thinks it would be better to forestall

celebrations till after the objective of our venture have fallen to us, yeah, what's the caper

shakes? gentlemen, I give you the optimal gem,

but a rock, like a baseball, merely a facsimile to answer your memories,

oh gentlemen, the genuine presently resides here in the cosmopolitan museum, which shortly we shall

enter, unopposed and filch this rock so preciously imposed, for who will suppose a monkey business

from us, when we are garbed in the guise of the rapes, all this will shortly come true once phase

one of our mission begins, here in the zoo, Shakespeare you're a genius

ladies and gentlemen the whole zoo is breaking loose,

all available police have been summons to the zoo

Spider-Man has temporarily saved thousands from certain disaster by diverting the rage

of the apes to himself, but can he save himself? Yes, that is the question. Well, let's see

try this for size

Guess it's time to pull the plug. Ah, he got away. Yes.

But the attendant excitement will prepare the museum for our clandestine excursion.

Ready, gentlemen? Our diamond awaits.

Hey Joe, where's all your pals? All down to the zoo.

I'm the only guard left. Well, let's hope there's no monkey business. I'll be ready for it.

That should do it. Cleanest apes I ever saw. Again,

the park belongs to the people who walk in it and the kids playing ball.

Where's Peter? Well, if he doesn't show up, we'll forfeit.

Okay, Mike, this is your ball game. Just give me your best.

If Parker shows up, we'll stick him in the bullpen. I can't figure what held him up.

This is a stick-up.

You think you've never seen a monkey pull a gun before?

It's great to be unpopular. Everybody takes one look and leaves the place to us.

Yes, including the up-to-bow.

Hmm, there's more here than meets the eye. Yeah, let me take a whack at it.

Looks like they're getting around on old Mike and me in the bullpen.

If you want to be a pitcher, you should learn to be reliable like Michael.

Maybe you'll get to relief.

Hey, Pete, Mr. Thompson says you should find that ball and warm up in a hurry.

Come on, Mike. Burn it in, baby.

You lost. Who can stop us now?

I tell you, young man, the apes, the apes are in the museum.

Oh, that's impossible.

Of course, it's impossible. I'm impossible. You're impossible.

But I saw them browsing in the gym collection.

So, that's it.

You see, Derby, how simple it is? With the will of the lookout for monkeys,

who will detect the departure of millions?

Yeah. Who's going to know this?

Call it. And what if it is apes? No exit laughing.

Spider-Man. Look out! Run for the wolves.

Okay, Gluford. Now it's my turn. A perfect target.

Gee, Shakespeare, he's got some better papers.

Enough of this chit-chat. It is with supreme pleasure.

I exterminate this insectivorous pest.

Liquid datax. Yeah, that'll gum him up. Exactly.

Okay, you mugs. Prepare to take him when the haze lifts.

Where is he? Search the area. He must be there

somewhere. Joe, you and me go around the other side

of this tomb. Lenny, you keep your eyes peeled.

This armor is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here.

I've played enough with you, Spider-Man.

Smokescreen. Under which cover? I, and the optimal,

will whisk the way. Says you.

I too have infrared vision. Follow me, if you dare,

to your death. One of us must go.

Look! Is this what you want? Catch!

Well, if it isn't the Prince of Thieves.

Come on! Try two. Bring in Parker.

Peter, where have you been? I-- You're in the game.

Just get this one out, okay? I'll try. Hey, Pete, this is a tight spot.

Okay, kid. You don't want to throw.

Come on, Pete. Put it past him, Pete. Sock it to me, kid.

Way more!

You!

Hey, that's the winning ball! Can I have it, Pete?

Not for a million. You said it.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can.

Spins a web any size. Catch your seeds just like flies.

Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man.

Is he strong? Listen, Doug. He's got radioactive blood.

Can you swing from a thread? Take a look overhead.

Hey there, there goes the Spider-Man. In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime.

Like a street of lights, he arrives just in time.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Well-contained, he's ignored. Action is his reward to him.

Life is a great big pain. Wherever there's a pain,

you'll find a Spider-Man.