Original subtitles

Spider-Man, Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can

Spins a web, any size Catch your seeds, just like flies

Look out, here comes the Spider-Man

Is he strong?

Listen, Doug He's got radio, active blood

Can you swing from a thread Take a look, overhead

Hey there, there goes a Spider-Man In the chill of night

At the scene of a crime Like a street of lights

He arrives just in time Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man Well-contained, he's ignored

Action is his reward to him Life is a great big pain

Wherever there's a pain You'll find Spider-Man

Finally accept this small token of my esteem, signed unknown admirer

Now, at last, there's someone in this world who appreciates my word

Well, Miss Brandt, I must say you're certainly controlling your enthusiasm over this tribute

to my genius

In the window, a horrible creature With wishy back hair and a painted face

I mean, a painted face and a big ball through its nose

Sounds like Spider-Man is up to more of his cute little tricks

My spider senses are starting to tingle

Jameson's office I that old tightwad wouldn't leave the lights

on Something's going on

J. Jonah Jameson, open your cash box and put the money into my head

Now what's old J.J.J. up to I've got to break my ball

I'd better check on Jameson again But this time I'll watch out for unidentified

flying objects Danger, I can feel it

Fire number three web He's gone, and the money too

Jameson robbing himself There's a twist

There's a plot in this somewhere Victimized, that's what I've been, Miss Brandt

I can't understand how this happened Only two people have the key to the box

You and And you, Miss Brandt

Are you accusing me of being a thief?

Remember, you said it, not me That does it, I quit

You can't quit unless I say so That's silly, girl

That's what I said, silly, silly, silly Because Betty Brandt left me in this mess

I can't even find my phone book There shouldn't be any women at all in this

world Just children and men

Jameson, listen carefully Go to your main safe downstairs

And bring the contents of the safe And place them inside my head

I knew you'd get a kick out of that Strike one

Nice doggy, nice doggy Night ball in the corner pocket

My single shots aren't clicking Let's see how a scatter shot works

I'm Spider-Man I believe congratulations are in order for

me, Farley Clivendon This time I've bagged the biggest game of

all The legendary Spider-Man

Now Jameson, put all the money into my head Jameson, forget what has just taken place

Go home, I repeat, go home Forgive me, Spider-Man, for neglecting you

The idol has been merely a test to see if Jameson would respond

Now I'm ready for the, if you'll excuse the expression, kill

The legend of Spider-Man is about to come to a fitting end

Just what do you have in mind for getting rid of me?

No worries, Spider-Man, it won't be a weapon that can trace to me

I assure you your demise will look like an accident

Now that takes a load off my mind After all, Spider-Man is known for getting

into strange places And just wait till you see the strange place

I've chosen All that remains is to push the dowel button

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather start at the bottom and work my way up

Farewell, Spider-Man Go to Jameson's office and pick up the loot

from the idol Just in time

Tomorrow Jameson will write me a cheque for one million dollars

On second thought, let's make it two million Don't spend that money before it's hatched

Escaped? Well, you won't this time An unkind cut

Wasted webbing Spider-Man, he won't do you any good

You fight your way and I'll fight mine Perhaps you'll get the points this time

Looks like you've just about used up your arsenal

Not quite, Spider-Man Every good hunter keeps something up his sleeve

Like this Oh, my spider sense

Ah, togetherness I'll just ensure it

A jungle collage put together by your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Destroy that fool note before the police get here

But they'll know Spider-Man captured them by his trademark, the web

Glory! Is that all anyone ever thinks of anymore?

Where's Miss Brand? I want a story set up right away

Telling about my part in this capture Betty's gone, remember?

Now, why would she do a thing like that? Because you called her a thief

Maybe if you apologize, she might come back Apologize?

Me? Never! Do you hear? Never! On second thought, you might be

Right Besides, I still can't find my phone book

Miss Brand? Yeah, I shouldn't have said what I... You know

I understand, Mr. Jameson Okay, then that's settled

Now, enough of this standing around, get back to work, both of you

Parker? Where did he go so fast? These teenagers?

How come they always disappear the minute you mention work?

Fifth Avenue, the Phantom's happy hunting ground

And Fennet's is fancy enough to be on his list

OJJJ's toy drive wouldn't interest him, but that display would

Just the bait I'm looking for

If the Phantom latches onto this coat, my little old homing device will...

Uh-oh, my spider-sense is tingling Well, if it isn't Spider-Man

Phantom, how clever of you to recognize me And clever enough to catch you

Oops, a fire knife!

Sweet dreams, my costumed clod Well done, Marie, my charmer

While I finish my rounds, you know what to do here

Yes, Master

Mink coat

Mirror

Chair

Everything is gone, the tools, the mink coat

And there's the Fifth Avenue Phantom, Spider-Man

Sure, and I gave the loot to Count Dracula

Aha, he admits he had an accomplice, arrest him

I'm afraid we'll have to take you in for questioning, Spider-Man, raise your hands

Glad to oblige

Stop or we'll shoot, save it for the real Phantom

Don't let him get away

Now, little homing device, find me a Phantom with a fur coat

It's too faint, I can't hear it

Something's wrong, no power

I just hope the Phantom doesn't find my transmitter before I can fix the receiver

Ah, Sandra, what miniaturized treasures have you brought?

These, Master

What a handsome price they'll bring

Take them to the reconverter

And you all, where's Diane?

This is the best take yet

I just can't figure it

Everything works, but the volume is too low

Hold everything, it's coming in stronger

I'm back on the track, and I hope it's not too late

They've all reported in, except Mary

If she fails, it's the end of her

Here I am, Master

At last, now where is the dollhouse?

Bennett sent it to the Daily Bugle

The name for the Daily Bugle toy drive by Bennett's Fifth Avenue

Good morning, Miss Brandt

Good morning, Mr. Jameson

What in blazes is that?

A dollhouse from Bennett

Well, get it off your desk

This is a newspaper office, not a toy factory

Miss Brandt, what is the meaning of this?

Your Daily Bugle toy drive is a great success

Well, get the success out of my office

While up at Whipsnappers, I'm tuned into the Daily Bugle

Dollhouse was in Bennett's window

And unless I'm seeing things, that's the stuff that was stolen

And it shrunk

Whoever tries to collect it is going to meet Spider-Man

Aren't you a bit too old for toys?

Spider-Man

A laser gun

Right, Spider-Man

And I have you cornered

Sooner or later, I'll get you, Spider-Man

My laser gun!

I never did like being in the spotlight

I'm a chair, Spider-Man

You're a picture of defeat

Old J.J. isn't going to go like this

Gone with the smoke!

Phantom and Dollhouse

Which is just the way I planned it

I've got to find out what he's up to

Ready or not, foolish Phantom, here I come!

That web-fool is too persistent

But Sandra will take care of him

I think he spotted me

Better give him a running start

I'm being ambushed

There must be a better route

I've got to get that web thrower off my trail

Attention, Diane

Spider-Man must not reach the factory

Stop him at any cost

The others have failed

It's up to you, Murray

Bring him to me

It seems to me we've met before

Come with me

And if I refuse

I never argue with a lady with a laser

Lead away

And this is only the beginning

From the resale of my collection

I shall build an army of robots

And take over the world

You'll never get rich on toy furniture

Look carefully, Spider-Man at the toy furniture

Show him, Diane

That's how it's done

Now you know my secret

But you'll never be able to tell

I'm going to shrink you down to size

You haven't beaten me yet

Famous last words

This display brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Looks like Spidey's done it again

Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can

Spins a web any size

Catch your steeds just like Clive's

Look out, here comes the Spider-Man

Is he strong? Listen, bud

He's got radioactive blood

Can you swing from a thread?

Take a look overhead

Hey there, there goes a Spider-Man

In the chill of night

At the scene of a crime

Like a street of lights

He arrives just in time

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Well-contained, he's ignored

Action is his reward to him

Life is a great big pain up

Wherever there's a pain up

You'll find a Spider-Man