Original subtitles

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can Spins a web, any size, catch his seeds Just like flies, look out! Here comes a Spider-Man!

Is he strong? Listen, bud, he's got radioactive blood Can you swing from a thread? Take a look, overhead, hey there, there goes a Spider-Man

In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime Like a street of lights, he arrives just in time

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man Well conveyed, he's ignored, action is his reward to him

Life is a great big hang up, wherever there's a hang up You'll find a Spider-Man

Here it comes, right on time, and in one of those cars is the first component of the Army's newest secret weapon

Army, top secret, danger, I'm right on target, this component must reach its destination

Spider-Sensor's tingling, something's wrong up front

What in the name of J. Jonah Jameson is that?

I am the Rhino, nothing can withstand me

The first component, soon I will get the other two, and then I will control the world

Either I was seeing things, or we were hit by a rhinoceros It's gone, the box is gone, I'd better get out of here before they suspect me

Hey, look, it's Spider-Man, come back or we'll shoot, after him then, which way did he go? That way, shoot the trees

I can just hear old Jameson when he gets this story Army's top secret component, stolen by that menace to society, Spider-Man

The other two components of the world's most fearsome weapon will arrive within the next week by jet, submarine, and armored car

All precautions should be taken to protect them from that traitor, Spider-Man, Miss Branch, get Peter Parker on the phone

Yes, Mr. Jameson

I'll get it, dear

Mr. Jameson, uh, Mr. Jameson

The biggest story of the century, and I want you to get out there and get pictures

This is Peter's Aunt May speaking, he's in bed with a bad coat

There you see, so you'll just have to find someone else

That Mr. Jameson gets so excited

What did he say?

Oh, something about you taking pictures of a crooked spider

What is it?

This cold remedy has been in the family for over a hundred years

Tastes like it too

Get some rest now

I'd never be able to get near the scene of the wreck in broad daylight

But as soon as it's dark

And now to find out what or who caused that train wreck

Somewhere there's got to be a clue

Wallop and web shoes, rhinoceros prints

Maybe I wasn't seeing things

Maybe they'll lead me to what's behind this

Soon the other parts will be mine

And my destructive power will be the greatest in the world

Then I will destroy, destroy, destroy

I've lost the trail

Think I'll check this area from above

What's that?

It's charging, duck

Oh, trouble

Wallop and web snappers, it really is a rhino

You okay?

Yeah, but what hit us?

Caught in my own parlor that time

Fan off, men, cover every corner

Okay, come on out, with your hands up

Okay, we're coming in

Who's there?

Peter, are you awake?

Oh, you poor boy

You should have been better by now

I feel better, honest

Well, just to be sure, here's a nice cup of santa tea

Cod liver oil and lemon juice

I'll get it

Yes?

Oh, good evening, Mr. Jameson

I'm sorry, but Peter is not going anywhere

Until he gets over the cold

Imagine wanting you, a sick boy, to go to the airport this time of night

Airport?

Aunt May, I feel kind of sleepy

That's because of the soothing potion I put in your tea, dear

Sleep well, Peter

Sleep well?

Just my luck when I've got to stay awake long enough to get to that airport

It must be the second component coming in

Where did it fall?

Got to stay awake

Got to

Flight code 400 okay to land on runway two

Wind velocity ten miles, over and out

We'll go, over and out

This has to be it

Maybe the Rhino won't show

I spoke too soon

There's more than one way to catch a Rhino

General, look out

It's the rhinoceros

He got the component

Where'd it go?

He's got to be here somewhere

Let's try this for a spin-off

He ran in here, I saw him

Maybe he went through the hole

If he'd use a gasoline truck to trick us

He might even bust a hole in the wall to lead us the wrong way

We know you're in there

Come out or we'll shoot

This is your last chance

Come out

He got out through that vent

Made it

That fool Spider-Man thought he could stop me

But I can't be stopped

Only one more component to go

Tomorrow, the world

If Spider-Man gets that third component, he'll destroy us all

But Mr. Jameson, the report said it was a huge rhinoceros

The report also said Spider-Man was there

There's no doubt about it, Miss Brandt

Spider-Man and that Rhino character are working together

But Mr. Jameson

Don't argue, Miss Brandt

Just get Peter Parker on the phone

Yes, sir

But if a lady answers, hang up

Hello, Peter

How are you feeling?

Peter, my boy, I need you

The third component arrives today by submarine

And if I don't get pictures, we'll be scooped by every newspaper in town

You wouldn't want that to happen to the Daily Bugle now, would you?

Of course not, Mr. Jameson, but...

Mr. Jameson, Peter is not going anywhere until he's over this cold

It seems to me, if you'd learned your job properly, you could take your own pictures

Now hold the nerve

Imagine suggesting that I, J. Jonah Jameson, take my own pictures

Gee, maybe she's right

I could put on a disguise and pretend I'm a cub reporter again

Poor boy, he must be thicker than I thought

Oh, well, sleep is the best medicine

No admittance, eh?

Nothing stops the press

This is a restricted area, sir

Please keep five feet back in defense

I'm from the Daily Bugle

Sorry, sir, there is positively no admittance

That doesn't mean the press

I'm afraid it does, sir

Who do you think you're talking to?

I don't take orders from anyone

Why, I'll have you busted to buck private

I'll...

I'll have you busted to buck private

I'll...

Well, it looks like I've caught a real live spy

You can't do this to J. Jonah Jameson

I'll call the mayor, the governor

I'll report this to the president

Looks like old J.J.J.'s got himself snafu

I'd like to help, but I'm collecting rhinos today

There's the supper

And there's the rhino

An unidentified object approaching bow

Prepare to fire

Fire!

Ready, torpedoes?

Fire one

Fire two

Fire two

Fire two

Fire two

Fire two

Oh, no!

Fire two

Abandon ship!

Here we go again

Now that I have the last component, watch out, world!

He got away

That rhino has got to be stopped

I just can't understand why you're not better, Peter

My cold remedies have always worked before

Nothing like barley soup with plenty of pepper to keep your strength down

Thanks, Aunt May

Now eat your soup like a good boy

Yes, Aunt May

Extra, extra, read all about it

Rhino, escape, police, crime that around Central Park

Get your daily bugle here

Extra, extra, get your daily bugle here

I wish you were well enough to come in, Peter

Everything's gone wrong, the rhino got away

Got away? But the police had him surrounded

They've combed every inch of Central Park

They've even taken the real rhinoceros out of their pool

And Mr. Jameson has disappeared

Oh, Peter, what shall I do?

Just carry on, Betty

I'm sure old J.J.J. can talk himself out of, er, wherever he is

How many times do I have to tell you?

I'm J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the Daily Bugle

I'm a patriotic citizen

I'll take this to the highest court in the land

I'll have you all court marshaled

I'll... I'll...

I'll be scooped by every newspaper in the country

And it's all a form of that hypochondriac teenager

I don't know how long I can fool Aunt May

But Spider-Man's needed now

Wow, between my cold and that pepper

Pepper!

Hey, I bet that's the answer

But first I have to find rhino

Nothing to get past those security units

Rhino must be in here somewhere

Now, if I were a rhino, where would I hide?

That's funny

Betty said the rhinos had been moved out of the zoo

Rhino in the rhinoceros pool?

Why, it's so obvious no one would think of looking there

If that light ahead means what I think it does, I've found Rhino's hideout

Oh, perfect fit

It's the most dangerous weapon in the world, and it's mine

You! Why you?

Ah, ah, I swear

I swear

I swear

I swear

I swear

The more you squirm rhino, the deeper you'll sink

Instant baked mud, that should hold you

Say cheese

In case you want more prints, here's my card

Compliments of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

So long, Rhino, I'll let the police know where you are

No, Mr. Jameson hasn't returned yet

I'll have him call as soon as he comes in

Where, Mr. Jameson? Where have you been?

Never mind where I've been

Is it true about Spider-Man?

Yes, isn't it wonderful? He captured the rhino, saved the bomb, and now they say he may even get a medal

Stop! Stop!

Now that everything's back to normal

I'd better go home and try some more of Aunt May's cold remedies

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Does whatever a spider can

Spins a web, any size

Catch your seeds, just like flies

Look out, here comes a Spider-Man

Is he strong? Listen, Bud

He's got radioactive blood

Can you swing from a thread?

Take a look

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Can you swing from a thread? Take a look

Overhead, hey there

There goes a Spider-Man

In the chill of night

At the scene of a crime

Like a street of lights

He arrives just in time

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Well-contained, he's ignored

Action is his reward to him

Life is a great big day

Wherever there's a pain

You'll find a Spider-Man