Original subtitles

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can, spins a web any size, catch a steeze,

just like flies, look out, here comes the Spider-Man, is he strong?

Listen, Tod, he's got radio, active blood, can you swing from a thread, take a look overhead?

Hey there, there goes a Spider-Man, in the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a street of lights, he arrives just in time.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, well contained, he's ignored,

action is his reward to him, life is a great big day, wherever there's a pain, you'll find a Spider-Man.

He's up there somewhere, turn on the searchlights.

I wonder what's going on down there, looks like somebody broke into the Midtown Museum, there he is, get him, Spider-Man, don't let him get away.

Where is everybody? Biggest news story of the year and nobody's around. Miss Brandt, where have you been?

I got here as fast as I could, Miss Jameson, do you realize it's six o'clock in the morning?

I don't care what time it is, look at this, Spider-Man robs Midtown Museum, I always knew he was a crook.

I don't believe it. You'd better believe it, there were witnesses, at last that web-headed weasel is going to be exposed for the fraud he is.

The Midtown Museum was broken into last night and according to eyewitnesses, the thief was none other than Spider-Man.

Who, me? Thousands of dollars worth of antique treasures are missing.

Hello, Betty, what are you doing at the office so early?

Mr. Jameson wants to talk to you, it's very...

Parker, a fine news photographer you are, sweeping while Spider-Man runs rampant through the city. Get me some pictures.

I couldn't have committed that robbery. I've been here in my room, asleep all night.

Unless, am I becoming a split personality, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

Or could somebody disguised as me be trying to destroy me? I think I'll just go check the scene of the crime.

Nobody around, now is my chance.

Coast is clear, I'll just check up. Uh-oh, my spider sense tells me I'm not alone.

Okay, Spider-Man, we figured you'd come back.

Check out time postponed.

The Chief wants to have a little talk with you at headquarters.

I don't talk well at gunpoint.

What?

Sorry, officer, we'll have that talked later.

I've got to stay free to clear myself.

And that goes for Spider-Man too.

J. Jonah Jameson here, and whoever this is, I'm too busy to talk.

Too busy to talk about getting rid of Spider-Man?

Say, who is this?

Just call me Mysterio, and for a fee, I will rid you and the world of Spider-Man forever.

Of course, if you're not interested.

Who said I wasn't interested? But how much is it going to cost me?

But that's preposterous.

Very well, it's a deal. But remember, not a penny until Spider-Man is defeated and exposed for the fraud that he is.

Your career is at an end, Spider-Man.

Oh, wait, Spider-Man. Give yourself hope.

In this case, the best place for me is down.

Whoops, here come the ground forces.

Police above me, police below me. Offhand, I'd say there's no place to go.

We've got you covered, Spider-Man.

Covered? Thanks for the idea.

He's come down to the street. Get him.

Surrender, Spider-Man, or we'll shoot.

The Spidey Seal of Approval.

It's stuck. Somebody get a crowbar.

Not first glass, but right now, it's the only way to go.

There he is. Just like we figured.

Here we go again.

This calls for a speckled seal.

Give up, Spider-Man.

Give up? You mean go on.

She's firing. Go after him.

This is no place for a growing boy. I've got to...

Oops. I'm caught.

Me stuck. That's a switch.

Switch? That's it. This had better work.

I can't look.

Is it over? Is he gone?

He's gone all right.

The captain will never believe us.

Spider-Man makes fantastic escape.

Spider-Man's tougher than I figured.

I have to come up with another plan.

Must get my hands on that money before Jameson changes his mind.

And there's only one sure way.

What's going on here? Who's cutting in on my line?

Don't you know you can't keep a good menace down?

Who is this?

Your friend and ally, Mysterio.

Oh, you. I thought you were going to take care of Spider-Man.

He's as good as gone.

But first, I want to be sure about the money.

Look, you get Spider-Man and you'll get your money.

But get him fast, or the deal's wrong.

I have a plan. Now listen closely.

Hi, Betty. What's new?

Well, I woke up this morning with a headache.

And when I opened the medicine chest, all the jars fell out.

When I tried to pick up the hot chest.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry I asked.

So what's new with you?

I've got to see Mr. Jameson in a hurry.

Sorry, Peter, but he's tied up with a very important phone call and I...

Miss Brant, have this printed on our front page.

Give it feature billing.

At last, I've got Spider-Man where I want him.

In my web.

If Spider-Man wants to know the truth about the Midtown Museum robbery,

he must meet Mysterio on top of the Brooklyn Bridge at dawn.

What? That sounds dangerous.

You mean it sounds interesting.

I'll be there with my trusty telephoto camera.

If Spider-Man dares to meet that challenge in the paper,

we'll be waiting for him.

I know it's a trap, so I'd better move cautiously.

See anything yet?

It looks like something's moving up there, but I can't be sure.

If I use my web to get to the top, I'm bound to be seen.

But I'll have to chance it.

There he is.

Radio the police helicopter. One way or another, we'll get him.

All right, Mysterio. Here I am. Where are you?

What kind of trick is that?

No tricks, Spider-Man.

I am Mysterio, and I'm going to destroy you.

Spider-Man, you have met your match.

No false modesty, please.

Very clever.

Overconfident bull. My power is greater than yours.

Magnetized jet shoes. Wow.

Care to go around again?

What's happened? Have I missed anything?

They're doing a lot of swinging, but nothing's happened yet.

Good. I want to see Spider-Man's downfall with my own eyes.

Try this for some time.

Big talk. Small action.

Think so? Try touching me.

Forget it. His smog maker dissolved the webs.

Your puny little bag of tricks is exhausted, Spider-Man.

Not quite, Weirdo.

Come on, Mysterio. Come on, or the deal's off.

And now for the finishing touch.

The party's not over yet.

There's no limit to my powers.

Tell that to your press agent.

I can get away from you anytime I want to.

Oh, no, you can't. My spider sense will lead me right to you.

Here I am, Spider-Man. Come and find me.

He's falling.

Radio the helicopter. The shore patrol.

Pick him up.

Don't count your victories before they hatch, Mysterio.

This was just the first round.

Right now, I think I'll go for a nice, long swim.

Underwater.

Now to get the money from Jameson.

The game is won.

Safe for the time being,

but I must find some way to meet Mysterio on my terms.

Okay, Parker, where were you when the biggest scoop of the year was taking place?

That's the trouble with you teenagers, always goofing off.

But, sir, but nothing. A battle between Spider-Man and Mysterio

on top of the Brooklyn Bridge and not one picture.

What? What's that?

It is I, punkerer of Spider-Man,

and I've come to collect my feet.

Now, just a minute, Mysterio.

They haven't found Spider-Man yet.

No one could have survived that fall.

And a bargain is a bargain.

I want my money now.

They must have been born under the same size.

Yeah, the dollar's something.

Uh-uh. Not so fast.

You'll get the other half when you can prove Spider-Man is out of the way.

How can he be so cruel?

I just know Spider-Man's still alive.

I'm sure he is too, Betty.

He'll be found,

and when he is, I'll be back.

How does he do that?

Who cares? As long as he got rid of Spider-Man.

That little transistor I slipped into Mysterio's club

is registering loud and clear.

From this TV studio.

Hmm. I always did want to see behind the scenes.

Fred, that's over today. He's still the best dumb man in the business, Joe.

You can say that again.

My Spider-Man transistor is picking up impulses stronger than ever,

and they seem to be coming from that room.

I won't need this disguise much longer.

As soon as Spider-Man's body is found,

I'll collect the other half of that bill from Jason.

I wouldn't count on that, Mysterio.

Spider-Man?

You didn't think I'd let you choose the time and place for this round, did you?

I can beat you here just the way I did on the bridge.

You'll never see me.

Even when you're visible, I can't see your kind.

You don't have a chance, Spider-Man.

Okay, Mysterio. You may have me beat, but first admit one thing.

It was you, disguised as me, who committed the robbery, wasn't it?

Of course. Only I have the genius to imitate your powers.

Thanks for the confession, mister.

You'll be happy to know that your resonant tones

are captured for posterity on my handy-dandy pocket tape recorder.

You'll never live to take it to the police.

You're finished, Spider-Man.

Give me that tape recorder.

Coax me.

My Boy Scout training taught me always to be prepared.

That mask won't protect you against the power of Mysterio.

There's one thing you seem to forget.

Your power is artificial. Mine is natural.

You're in there somewhere, and sooner or later, I'm going to connect.

Try swinging your way under there.

No longer will the terrifying figure of Spider-Man menace Manhattan,

for he has met the fate he deserves.

Aren't you being a little hasty, Mr. Jameson?

Spider-Man may still be alive.

What a horrible thought, Miss Brandt.

But even if you're right, which I doubt,

Spider-Man has been defeated in public.

Furthermore, he's been proven a thief.

He'll never be the idol of those mixed-up kids again.

Care for another sample of my powers?

So my power's short, Cloudhead.

Gas. But my mask will protect me.

Not from this powerful chemical spray.

Chemical? It's dissolving my mask.

So it is, my webby friend.

And now for the final blow.

What was that? Probably a sonic boom.

This is the temp take, and we're going to finish this even if we have an earthquake.

Okay. Roll.

It's Zingo, terror of the trail.

That's right, boys.

And I'm looking for my little prayer chicken, Adelie.

Zingo, you shouldn't have come here.

You know the sheriff's gunning for you.

I'm not afraid of...

Enough is enough.

See what's going on in there.

No, no, no, no.

That's not in the script.

Then I'll just have to add lip.

You'll pay for this Spider-Man right now.

How's that for a down payment?

It's stupendous. Colossal. Keep rolling.

I'm not the greatest stuntman in the world for nothing.

Thanks for telling me who you are, and in front of witnesses.

Why, you.

Now, that's what I call using the old head.

When the police arrive, tell them that this little package is from their friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

I don't believe it. I just won't believe it.

Mr. Jameson, what is it? You look sick.

I am sick. Cancel all my appointments, even the ones I don't have, and get something for my headache.

Yes, sir.

Mysterio abroad. Spider-Man innocent. I don't believe it.

You'd better believe it. I've got Mysterio's full confession on tape.

The police have Mysterio, and now I want you to take back all those things you said about me.

I, uh, uh, what things?

That I was the menace to society, and I want it in writing.

Uh, uh, can't do it now. Have to get the night edition on the presents.

Very well. Just let me know when you're ready to apologize.

Help! What are you doing?

Just making sure you don't change your mind.

Let me down from here. Help! Help!

The web will come down by itself, eventually.

Meanwhile, you might get a new point of view.

Spider-Man, come back. I'll retract everything I said.

Help!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.

Spins a web any size, catch his feet, just like flies look out.

Here comes the Spider-Man.

Is he strong? Listen, bud. He's got radioactive blood.

Can you swing from a thread? Take a look overhead.

Hey there, there goes the Spider-Man.

In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a street of lights, he arrives just in time.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, well-contained.

He's ignored. Action is his reward to him.

Life is a great big hang-up. Wherever there's a hang-up, you'll find a Spider-Man.