Original subtitles

Now if you'll all follow me, we'll have a look at the main terminal.

Built in 1970, renovated three years ago,

it was recently painted by the famous Nantucket painter,

Bill, the painter man.

Lowell, Lowell, Lowell. Who are, uh... Who are the moppets?

Oh, they're from the North Street Orphanage.

Giving them a tour of the old airport.

Just my way of giving something back to North Street.

Lowell, you weren't an orphan.

No, but my brother was.

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

Fay, have you seen Gail?

No, I haven't.

Oh, great. She picks today to be late.

Why? What's the big deal, bro?

We're flyin' up to Maine for the weekend,

and I'd like to get out of here before Helen shows up.

This whole situation is making me really uptight.

Oh, you were born uptight, Joe.

You were the only breech birth in medical history

to wipe his feet on the way out.

Look, I would just like to avoid

having my current and former girlfriends cross paths,

especially with Helen so angry.

Hi, honey. I'm sorry I'm late. Hi.

I had a little trouble with my car.

Oh, it's no problem. Let's just go before we run into Helen.

Oh, yes, the wacko you used to date.

She's not a wacko. She's just a little high-strung lately.

Oh, look, Joe, I am tired of avoiding her.

You and I are together now, and she's gonna have to learn to live with that.

I know, but you know how Helen gets.

HELEN: No, Joe.

How do I get?

Hey, hey, Helen! Look, honey, it's Helen.

Oh, man, this is just what I wanted to avoid. Let's get out of here.

Have a good time in Maine.

Oh! We're going to Maine for the weekend!

Just Saturday and Sunday. I wouldn't really call it a weekend.

What would you call it?

I'm gonna wait in the plane.

Yeah, I'll wait with you.

(AIRPLANE ENGINE WHIRRING)

Oh, I'm just so glad Joe gets to go to Maine.

We always meant to go to Maine, but no, we never made it.

I always wanted to go, but no, he's too busy.

She wants to go to Maine

and it's, "Pack your clam diggers, baby!"

Maine.

If I hear that word one more time, I'm gonna scream.

Maine.

I thought you said you'd scream.

I'm a wacko. I'm unpredictable.

Phew! Somebody sure poured pepper in her panties.

I may be way off here, but does anybody else think

that Helen's not handling her anger as well as she might?

Oh, I do. She's been in a positive snit lately.

Without condoning Fay's filthy language, I fully concur.

You don't think she'd do something violent, do you?

You know, the other night, she asked me if I knew how to bleed a brake line?

At the time I thought it was just polite chitchat,

but in light of this...

I-I'm really starting to get worried about her.

Do you want to say something to her, Fay? Not really.

Me neither. Forget I ever brought it up.

Mi scusi, Fay, Brian.

I was sitting, waiting for a fare.

I could not help to overhear.

I will talk to Helen.

One thing Antonio knows is women.

ANTONIO: Beautiful Helen, you are so sad.

Your face is like a beautiful sky filled with dark clouds.

Please,

take this flower and smile.

I was this close to bada-bing.

Well, maybe we ought to tackle this as a group.

You know, I heard about this thing called intervention

where a group of friends get together

to confront someone with a problem.

Often, it's just the push they need to seek help.

So, no bada-bing?

Oh, what the heck. I'm in.

Uh, we can use Joe's office.

Now, uh, Roy, we need some bodies for this.

Do you think that you could just stand quietly in the room

and not say anything nasty?

Hey!

I care as much about Helen as the rest of you.

I'm a sensitive guy.

While we're in there, anyone mind if I clip my toenails?

Hence the phrase, "Burned beyond recognition."

BRIAN: Lowell...

We need to see you for a second. All righty.

Okay, kids, want you to sit right over here.

Be good little boys and girls.

Don't want a repeat of that behavioral problem we had out by the fuel pump.

And remember, no playing with matches near Todd.

Okay, Lowell, Lowell. What we're doin' here

is something where a bunch of people get together

and they confront one of their friends, who has, uh,

a serious problem.

Damn it, you guys are the best friends a fella could have.

Well, I'll get help immediately.

What's my problem?

You're an idiot.

No, uh, Lowell, this is for Helen. Oh.

She needs help getting over Joe.

Uh, I'm trying to remember how this goes.

We did it for Emma Frost from my knitting class

when she'd taken to drinking.

It was-- It was obvious she had a problem.

All she ever knitted were bourbon cozies.

Of course, they were quite lovely.

They had these little rosettes on the side and...

Could we just get on with this?

All right.

Uh, now, everybody follow my lead.

Helen?

Could you come in here for a second, please?

That's right, leave the knife there.

She's coming.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Roy.

What? What is it?

Hey, what's going on here?

Helen, this is an intervention.

You have a problem

and you're being confronted with it by a group of close, caring friends.

And Roy.

You're kidding. No, no, you're not handling this breakup well at all.

And your anger just seems to be getting worse.

(CLAMORING) Oh, go hose off.

Now, wait a second. No, Helen, you don't seem to understand.

You're not gonna leave this office until you admit you need some help.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Damn. Another door.

She's beautiful and smart.

Helen Chapel! You get back in here this minute!

Now, Helen,

we've thought this through and we think we know what's best for you.

Okay.

Just for the sake of argument, I need help.

What kind of help do you suggest I get?

Uh, could you excuse us a second, dear?

So what now, Madam Rorschach?

Uh, well, let's see.

They gave Emma some drug that made her throw up every time she tasted alcohol.

I think I drove her home that night.

(CLEARING THROAT) Come on, guys, let's put our heads together

and try to think about this for a minute. Okay?

(CLIPPING)

It helps me think.

I believe this belongs to you.

FAY: You know, I did hear about a group.

I think it's called "Transitions."

It helps people deal with the pain of ending a relationship.

Mmm, group therapy in a loving, nurturing environment,

led by trained professionals.

You know, it's-- it's just crazy enough to work.

Oh, gosh, I'm gonna be late for my "Transitions" meeting.

Ah, good luck, Helen. Thank you.

But before you go, a word of caution.

These groups, they can be dangerous.

Dangerous?

The room will be full of lonely, vulnerable women like yourself.

There are men who come to these meetings

only to prey on such weaknesses.

You never know when, uh, men such as these will crawl out of their holes.

You seem to know an awful lot about this, Antonio.

I drive a cab. I hear things.

Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen...

Look, uh, I--I know this is gonna be a tough night for you and...

I just want to say that if you need somebody there to support you,

I-I'd be willing to go along with you.

You'd do that for me? Yeah, come on.

We're friends. We're friends forever, huh? Come on.

Thanks a lot. Hey, you bet.

Oh, and, uh, if any woman shows the slightest interest in me,

we don't know each other. Gotcha.

Well, Harry, it sounds like you've made excellent progress this week.

When you're ready, we'd love to have you share your experience...

Is it me, or is everyone in here kind of old?

Yeah, I think the only chance I have of picking up a woman here

is if one falls and can't get up.

May I help you?

I think we're in the wrong place. Yeah.

We were looking for the "Transitions" group.

Oh, uh, that's us.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I, uh, didn't expect th-this.

I thought the group would be a little... Younger.

I guess you weren't told that we're a branch of the Nantucket Senior Center.

Oh! No. Oh, yeah, okay.

BRIAN: Come on, Helen... No, no, we would be very happy if you stayed.

U-U-Unless you think that people of our age and experience

have nothing to offer.

These two seats taken? SANDY: No.

So, we were just hearing from Harry here.

Harry was recently widowed,

and he's made a major breakthrough in the last week.

Would you like to continue, Harry?

Last Saturday night, I went out to dinner all by myself

for the first time since my wife died.

Small steps, Harry. Small steps.

And I learned something, too.

What's that?

If you cry during dessert, you get your meal free.

So, uh, next.

Why don't we hear from... Helen, is it?

Me?

Tell us, what kind of transition are you dealing with?

I-I'm sorry. I...

I'm not very comfortable with...

She just broke up with my brother, Joe.

She's having a very tough time dealing with it.

Thank you, Brian.

Listen, maybe we could move on to another member of the group.

Let's say Brian here. Uh, me?

(CHUCKLING) Yes.

Oh, all right, Brian, uh...

Why don't you tell us about your pain?

Pain? No, I--I really don't have any pain.

I mean, I only came here to, uh...

I don't even know why I came here, really.

Brian, are you saying that you have never been hurt in a relationship?

Nope, never once. Oh, come on, Brian.

Never once! Your wife left you and moved in with another man.

Yeah, okay, fine. Yeah, all right, great. Okay, okay.

Carol, uh, did leave me,

but that marriage was doomed from the beginning.

When it ended, it ended. That's it!

So you don't miss her?

No, not at all. Miss her.

Ah, sometimes a little bit around Christmas, but I mean,

who doesn't have those feelings around the holidays, right?

Yeah. And on birthdays, little bit, little bit.

Yeah, Carol used to give me the same present every year.

The only surprise was where she put the bow.

(CHUCKLES)

What do you want? It's, like, it's...

Yes, that's two days out of the whole year. You know, two lousy days.

Three. Three days if--if you count our anniversary.

We used to make dinner for each other.

Yeah, dinner by candlelight.

Then we'd just sit and stare into each other's eyes

until the candles burn out.

Still got those candleholders somewhere.

God knows why I hold onto 'em. I should give 'em away or...

Throw 'em out or...

(CRYING) Oh, God, Carol! She's gone!

She's gone. She's gone. She's really gone! There, there!

Let it all out! Let it all out.

(SOBBING)

Okay, okay, so... O-Okay, so the--the-- the question is,

what--what is it about me

that would make Carol treat me

the way she did? I--I--I think the answer can be found

if we go deeper into my childhood.

Oh, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian.

Uh... May I interrupt you there for a moment?

Perhaps we can get back to the other members

before our time is up? W-W-Why?

How long do we have the room? I wasn't talking about the room.

Helen, uh, perhaps we can return to you now.

Listen, I'm sure you all mean well,

but I just don't feel comfortable talking about this in front of strangers.

Oh, well, uh, here's an idea.

Why don't we try a little role play?

I mean, one of our men here could pretend to be Joe

and the two of you could have a conversation.

No, I don't think so, but thank you...

Oh, oh, come on, go ahead. I mean, Harry here is very good at this.

Yep!

Uh, last week I was a 90-year-old black lady.

I really don't think so.

Oh, come on. No, no, come on. Here, you just try it. I--I--I would prefer...

SANDY: There we are. Okay?

Well, okay.

Hi, Helen.

Hi, Joe. SANDY: Yeah...

Small steps, Helen, small steps.

Now, uh, tell Joe

what you really think of him.

(LAUGHS)

No, I couldn't tell him what I really think of Joe. Use me. I'm a tool.

Okay.

Joe...

You shouldn't have treated me the way you did.

You lied to me.

You tricked me.

You let me believe we had a relationship.

Just who the hell do you think you are?

Two-timing me with some floozy.

I'll tell you who you are.

You're a no-good cheat, liar,

pious, self-righteous SOB

and I'd like to bite your head off

and spit down your neck!

I don't wanna play anymore!

Here, Helen...

Helen.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You've all been very sweet and understanding

but this just isn't working for me.

Look, you have been keeping your feelings bottled up inside you

and--and you've just begun to let them out.

Now if you can't continue here with us,

isn't there someone else that you can talk to?

Yes, of course there is. I always talk...

How could I be so stupid?

Thank you all.

Thank you all very much. Good night.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Well, I guess that takes care of everyone.

No way. Nobody moves.

Harry, you're Carol.

She's not here.

Oh, what a shame.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hey, I had a great time. Me, too.

Guess I'll see you tomorrow.

And, uh, this...

is for the most wonderful weekend a woman ever had.

Now, there goes a woman who never spent a weekend with Roy Biggins.

You mean she hasn't been chained to your furnace?

Hi, Joe. Helen's looking for you.

She's out in the hangar in her Jeep. What?

What?

Helen, stop and think!

You don't wanna do this.

I'm not gonna ram your office, Joe. Sure, sure.

Now get out,

and step away from the vehicle.

There. Are you happy now?

Now put the keys on the floor and kick 'em over here.

I drove the jeep in here just to show you I can get this far

from your office and not want to drive through it.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, the keys.

Joe, you don't understand.

I went to this meeting tonight. Helen...

I-I've really been trying to control this anger that...

Helen... All right! Take the damn keys.

Thank you.

By the way, I think you're making real progress with that anger thing.

I finally figured out why this has been so tough for me.

Do you remember back in high school

when Phil Steffan asked me to the spring dance?

I'd always dreamed of going out with him

but figured he'd never ask me out because I was fat.

Well, he finally did.

When we got to the dance,

I overheard some of his buddies laughing

and saying that Phil only asked me out to win a bet.

Do you remember what happened then, Joe?

Yeah, you pretty much Hoovered the dessert table.

After that?

I walked you home, didn't I?

Right.

Then you sat with me on the front porch swing

and you let me cry on your shoulder.

Don't you see? Every time something rotten happened in my life,

you were always there.

I could always run to you.

And the problem was, this time,

the rotten thing that happened was you.

And there was nowhere for my anger to turn.

You kind of parked at my office a couple of times.

(LAUGHING) Sorry.

But see, that's what's so damned frustrating.

It wasn't that I lost my boyfriend.

I lost my best friend.

No, you didn't.

I'm still your best friend.

I'm going to tell you now what I told you on that porch swing.

Any guy who would hurt a girl like you

has gotta be a real jerk.

(WHIMPERING) Joe...

Two shoulders. No waiting.

(HELEN SIGHING)

Split ends.

Gail should get a new conditioner.

You know, if you spent some time with her,

you might actually hit it off. Small steps, Joe, small steps.

Well, I guess I should get this thing out of here.

Well, actually, uh...

I'd kind of like to back it out.

Joe, after the conversation we just had,

you're worried that I might... No! I'm-- I'm not worried.

I'd just like to do it.

Okay, friend?

(CAR KEYS CLINKING) Suit yourself.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(GEARS GRINDING)

Oh, Joe, be careful. Sometimes it's difficult shifting into...

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Reverse.