Original subtitles

It was tonight, five years ago,

that Babs won the biggest prize in our history -

one million euros!

Let's hear it for our Bingo Queen!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I believe in Benidorm, and I believe in Bingo.

Which is why today it is my pleasure

to become the face of the Benidorm BingoDome.

Oh! BABS LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH, APPLAUSE

The next big winner could be you!

Next round starts in five minutes.

APPLAUSE

Oh! Did I get it right? Nailed it, Babs.

Five years, Mum! Can you believe it?

And you still haven't splashed the bloody cash! Ron!

That money's for your future.

Future! We could be dead tomorrow! Oh, shh!

Oh, stop carping on about your inheritance.

Start earning it.

Me and your mum will have a couple more G&Ts.

There we go.

Honestly, San, she'll be cheering me into the grave, that one.

Yeah, well, you're not going anywhere soon, eh, Babs?

BABS CHUCKLES Too right. Yeah.

Did I get it right up there, San?

Yeah, Babs. I've said.

Well, well, well...

the BingoDome has a new face.

And look...

it's got an old arsehole an' all.

THEY LAUGH

One day, everyone will know the truth.

That million euro should have been mine.

You know it, and I know it.

And maybe one day, I'll come visit you

in your little caravan and take it.

No!

You do not disrespect me in front of my family, Val.

Watch your step, Bingo Queen.

I keep my friends close...

but my enemies closer.

Capiche?

Don't listen to her, girls. NERVOUS CHUCKLE

No-one's gonna mess with the Bingo Queen.

WHISTLING

Babs? Everything's OK?

INDISTINCT SPEECH ON TV

What's this? Ambience.

And we shouldn't have the TV on. Blue light kills the vibe.

And Prometheus did give the humans fire.

So, I'm signing you off as licensee. Your signature and date of birth.

The pub is fine as it is.

The pub is empty.

Like I said, the pub is fine as it is.

That's tomorrow. Tomorrow is your birthday?

We should have a party!

I would rather walk into the sea.

At least a cake. I'm gonna get you a cake.

But then, you can't really have a cake without a party.

Rosa, let me be very clear.

No cake, no party, nothing. I don't do birthdays.

SHE SIGHS

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

Are you available?

Well...

I'd seen this Spanish lass a while back,

but that seems to have gone cold.

I can't think why. 'Probably for the best.'

I think she was falling in love with me.

We've found a body.

Barbara Fredericks, 65 years old.

Benidorm's most famous bingo player.

The security guard found the body around midnight.

"Bingo Babs wins a million." That's her.

This woman was a millionaire, and she lived here?

She had two daughters who live over there.

Ronnie and Connie.

She called them at 11:34, but they didn't answer.

Are they in? They've gone to play bingo.

She died as she lived. Was this near the body?

The pen was still in her hand. Looks like she was hit on the head.

22, 4, 83, 71,

74, and 90.

Last thing she did.

A robbery?

There is still plenty of jewellery and cash lying around.

Plenty of tat, too.

Just shows, money can't buy you taste.

So... what do you think?

Wait, I got this.

Two people came to the door. She let them in. They had tea.

But there was some kind of disagreement.

She was hit on the head, fell to the floor,

and before she died, dabbed the numbers.

This is not Murder She Wrote. This is Murder She Dabbed.

Bingo calls.

She's telling us the story of how she died through bingo calls.

22 - two little ducks.

Number 4 - knock at the door.

Then 83 - time for tea.

But something goes wrong and 71 - bang on the drum.

Then 74 - hit the floor -

where she knew it was 90, or, in bingo calls...

End of the line.

My English is really good, but I did not understand one word of that.

I appreciate your help.

We're very busy, some big football match tonight.

"Some big football match"?!

What a shame you'll be missing it

as you will be here guarding the crime scene.

If you find anything, call straight away.

Dennis, trust me, those numbers tell a story.

So, where shall we start?

I think we should start with them.

Quack, quack.

Those are two angry thumbs.

I told my father I am now manager of a bar, thinking he would be pleased.

Nothing I do is ever good enough for him.

Right, let me tell you something, and remember this -

it's not a bar, it's a pub.

Sad day.

Did you know Babs well?

Who did not? She was a legend.

Difficult to believe anyone would want to kill her.

Bingo can be brutal. Hm?

There are gangs and rivalries.

You didn't hear it from me, but if I were police,

I'd look into the Italians.

Valentina De Rossi.

Were you on last night?

I called the late game. Not many here.

Babs and her daughters left at nine.

And Sandra, I believe, stayed until midnight.

Why do you have a 22 on your key ring?

HE CHUCKLES

It's my number when I used to play football.

I was almost professional.

I had to quit because I - how do you say? -

I sprain my cruciate.

You? Police?

Yes. Actual professionals.

HE CHUCKLES

Please excuse me. I need to prepare for the next game.

You can't keep saying we're police when we're not.

OK, you tell people we work in a pub and see how far that gets you.

Bit soon for a game of bingo?

It opens at nine.

No, I meant soon after the death of your mother.

You don't understand. This is our church.

Who are you?

Police.

I keep thinking if only one of us had seen her missed call,

we might've saved her.

But I was in the shower,

and she watches Countdown on catch-up with her earphones in.

Mum loved Countdown. The numbers round.

Everything was numbers and puzzles with Babs.

Since we were kids.

Her easter egg hunts were bloody hard.

For some.

I never found mine. The foxes had 'em.

What's this? It's my lucky Villa charm.

Villa? Aston Villa.

Never heard of them. I'm a die-hard.

I go to all the games.

No, you don't. Well, I did.

I was there last time we won a cup.

Yeah, in a pushchair.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Barbara was...

a worthy adversary.

Sorry?

It were you who probably bloody killed her!

Sit down.

This next game will be a special memorial game for Bingo Babs.

Our Queen is dead.

Last night, she grew her bingo wings.

She's up in heaven - 27.

Bury or cremate - 78.

Down into the crypt - 66.

Babs' dying act was to dab out six numbers on a bingo ticket.

Her message from beyond the grave. Maybe.

Look at the facts - number 22 is everywhere.

We've got her two little ducks, Connie and Ronnie.

You know, bingo calls have changed now.

Gotta move with the times, baby.

Instagram pics - 86.

Then the 22nd letter in the alphabet.

V for "Villa", Ronnie's favourite team.

Or V for Valentina De Rossi.

Who, on the evening of Babs' death, was heard publicly threatening Babs.

Wills and Kate - 88.

Then a man who still wears a 22 on his key ring,

Javier Gomez, BingoDome's bingo caller.

What about Babs' friend, Sandra? How's she linked to number 22?

Not sure yet, but there will be something.

Trust me, Dennis, one of our 22s killed Barbara Fredericks.

PHONE BUZZES

And my personal favourite. Dinner for two - 69!

Ew!

Gross.

I'm sorry, Murder She Wrote, but there was no "bang on the drum".

She may have fallen and hit her head,

but that's not what killed her.

Babs choked on the price of a bingo ticket.

She choked? Mm.

According to Maria, they found a two euro coin in her throat.

I need your help. They're gonna kill me.

When I got home last night, this had been pushed under my door.

It means "you're next".

I put it through Google translate. I don't speak Italian or owt.

You surprise me. You're old friends?

Twenty years.

Ever since she landed in Beni

with nothing but the clothes on her back and her two kids.

Then five years ago, she went and became the bloody Bingo Queen.

Didn't seem to change her much.

Not our Babs.

That caravan park is where she felt safe.

She didn't spend any of it?

"Stash it away, live off the interest."

That's what she always used to say.

Leave it to the girls when she carks it, God rest her soul.

Do these numbers mean anything to you?

Not that I can think of.

I should go.

Look, I'll talk to Valentina.

I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.

You don't know Valentina De Rossi.

Dennis.

Forget 22.

There's another number that's the real key to this.

One million euros.

So, what's the emergency...?

You had one job.

I... I don't understand it.

I was watching this place like a hawk all night.

Oh, yeah?

Even at, say, eight o'clock when the football started?

Please don't tell Maria. You watched football?

Someone didn't find what they were looking for the first time.

Jesus, I want copies of the photos from the crime scene,

from before, you know,

you watched a football game and let someone break in.

Er, could someone please help me clean up?

DENNIS SCOFFS

Fine.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna talk to The Ducks.

So... you were in your room the other night?

Catching up on Countdown.

And when the security guard gave you the news,

neither of you left the van again?

Er, Ron went out for a smoke to steady her nerves. That's it.

Is she in now? She went out again.

Don't know where.

I'm too sad to do anything.

Mm. Ron wasn't close to Mum like I was, though.

Ooh, thirsty.

Mmm!

That not burn your mouth?

HE INHALES DEEPLY No, not at all.

Could I have another? Erm, OK.

HE EXHALES SLOWLY

Ron was never the smartest.

Her and Dad had the villa, but...

me and Mum loved Countdown. PENCIL SCRATCHES

Oh, she used to ace the numbers round.

Until... later on.

I noticed her slowing down.

This last year, she'd just... let me do it,

content just adding the numbers together.

Her little daily challenge. Hm.

"It's all I'm good for these days," she'd say. Yeah.

You know, actually, I'm gonna have to...

I'm gonna have to leave. Oh, right. Yeah.

You all right?

I'm worried.

Don't think I've ever known you be quiet

for more than ten seconds before.

My father wants me to go back home and do some accountancy course.

Steady work, I suppose. You think I should be an accountant?

No, no. You'd be crap. But you might make some money.

Maybe you're right. You know, I'm not doing any acting.

And I think I'm helping you with the cases, but am I?

This idea about a secret code - stupid.

The real world is never about codes

or hidden messages like on telly.

It's about ruling out the most obvious suspect

and then... seeing who's left.

Hence...

Valentina.

I'm Dennis. This is Rosa.

What is this?

A sign of respect.

Are you police? No, we just...

we just work in a pub.

We were wondering about Barbara Fredericks

and why so many people seem to think you killed her.

Two big fish, one pond.

They say, "Never hate your enemies, it affects your judgement."

But that was before the night she stole from me one million euro.

That night - THE night -

I was waiting in line to buy ticket.

Very busy, big-money game.

That loud friend of hers was in front.

Her shoulder for me cold as usual.

Then Barbara arrive.

Big scene. Always big scene.

"Oh, I've lost my purse."

The old excuse.

"Oh, I'm going to miss big game."

She push in front of me to be with her friend.

"Get to the back," I say.

"Wait your turn."

But, no, she stay.

They buy next two tickets.

One for Sandra, one for Babs.

If she goes to the back,

that winning ticket -

Babs' ticket -

is mine.

My two euro become one million.

It's not about the money.

I live well.

We live well.

SHE SCOFFS

But for five years

that woman swaggers around like she's the Godmother of Bingo.

It's the ticket that wins...

not the player.

Well... she's not swaggering any more.

Leave the bun. Take the cannoli.

Oh, hey. Commiserations on the footy last night.

That second yellow card was harsh.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, very harsh.

The referee is, erm, how do you say?

A wanker. THEY LAUGH

INAUDIBLE

Did you get them? Eventually.

Jesus kept asking me for dinner at this "hot new place" called Loopy's.

Curcumin, ginkgo biloba, ginseng, huperzine A.

Contents of her cabinet look like a Chinese chemist.

There's something else Maria wanted you to see -

Babs' financial records.

HE EXHALES DEEPLY

Where are the tea lights? Looks like Sandra was right.

Stash it away and live on the interest.

Dennis, what did you do with the tea lights?

They're in a safe place

and will be released upon return of my remote control.

You kidnapped my tea lights? You kidnapped my remote, again.

For your own good. Can we talk about this?

PHONE BUZZES

Babs' friend, Sandra, is missing.

We haven't heard from her since yesterday afternoon.

That's not like San. It's the Italians.

They're taking us out, one at a time.

And we're next. Show him, Con.

We found it on the doorstep this morning.

It means we're gonna be sleeping with the fishes.

Or it could be a red herring.

I think it's a mackerel.

They're after Mum's million. Our million.

It's safe, Ron. Mum promised.

I'm not so sure.

12 months ago, your mother started taking money from the bank.

A lot of money.

Over the course of six months,

she made 100 cash withdrawals

of 10,000 euros each time.

Ron, that's one million euro. I told you she were going soft, Con.

Sat around totting numbers up like a seven-year-old.

You didn't know? Did it look like we knew?

Where's that money?!

Look, just try and stay calm. And, at least for now, stay put.

You want us just to stay here,

waiting around for them Italians to come get us?

Don't worry. There's one of Benidorm's finest

stationed just over there, keeping you safe.

Dennis, you must come. Maria called.

They've found something.

I'll go.

You see if you can find out where Babs could have put that money.

Basically, that just means, "Ask Jackie?"

Basically, yes.

I mean she is uncannily good at providing information.

These are definitely Sandra's?

Looks like it.

Hikers discovered it an hour ago.

We're organising a search. Hey!

Look at this.

Valentina De Rossi.

It's a bit convenient, don't you think?

Sometimes, the case is, as you say, open and shut.

I am issuing a warrant to search the De Rossi property.

Yeah, but... Dennis. Favour over. Stand down.

Mmm.

Mmm!

Mmm. Jackie, I need some information.

Godverdomme. Wacht even.

Mm. Mm! You want a Santa pen?

It's June.

W... I have a wide range of items!

I don't have any cash.

Can't you just help without expecting something in return?

Why?

Because a woman has died. Why?

That's what I'm trying to find out. Why?

I don't know, it's just something I've fallen into.

Don't ask why. Why?

Jackie, do you know anything about Babs the Bingo Queen? No.

SIGHS

But I know plenty about her friend.

Go on.

BEEP

OK.

Four, three...

490...

Archibald Francis?

Oh. Thanks, pal.

You get your post delivered here now?

Yeah. Makes sense.

Huh. Huh. This one's for you.

SIGHS Divorce stuff.

I'll file it accordingly.

OK, OK, OK. This is big.

Jackie saw Sandra and Javier kissing.

Javier the bingo caller was kissing Sandra?

Not just kissing.

She went into a lot of detail... Probably too much.

And when was this? Last week.

They were on the beach at night. Weird, right?

But get this - I saw Ronnie, and I followed her around.

She went into every luggage storage locker in Benidorm

showing Babs' picture.

She's searching for the money.

Won't the money just be in her will? Obviously not.

So it has to be her, right?

Well, the Spanish police don't think so.

They've just arrested Valentina.

No. Why?

An engraved silver bracelet belonging to Babs

was discovered at her house.

So the numbers really didn't mean anything?

22, two little ducks. Number 4, knock on the door.

83, time for tea. 71, bang on the drum.

Jamaican rum.

What?

71, Jamaican rum.

71 is bang on the drum.

Not where I'm from. Bingo calls move with the times.

GASPS It was there all along.

Two little ducks. 22.

Yeah.

Knock on the door. 4.

Cup of tea. 83.

Jamaican rum. 71.

Hit the floor. 74.

And end of the line... 90.

The code was on the shelf the whole time.

Babs must've put it there long before the murder,

so it's not how and it's not who, it's...

What did you ask me in the pub?

Won't the money just be in a will?

No. Because there won't be a will.

If you make a will, you have to pay inheritance tax,

and she wanted the girls to get every cent.

So...

...after the diagnosis...

she started to prepare for the inevitable.

Diagnosis? Well, self-diagnosis, at least.

Look. Curcumin, ginkgo biloba, ginseng.

All things the internet says you should take

to help hold off the symptoms of early-onset dementia.

Babs had dementia? Yeah.

She couldn't even do her beloved Countdown numbers round properly.

She started taking the money out of the bank early

so that the girls didn't have to pay any inheritance tax.

And she put it somewhere. Somewhere safe.

Where. The code is where.

And she put it on display so that she couldn't forget.

But what does it mean?

It's not a postcode. It's not coordinates on a map.

It's not a phone number.

The caravan park is where she felt safe.

Six numbers. What has six numbers?

The numbers round in Countdown.

All she was good for these days was adding them up.

22 plus 4 is 26, plus 83 is 109.

71 is 180.

74, 254. Plus 90 is...

344.

Bingo.

I think we need to be a bit careful.

I've got a feeling we're not the only ones to have figured this out.

Sandra!

Water...

San, love, what happened?

He double-crossed you, didn't he?

I don't know what you mean.

You don't have to protect him, Sandra. Javier left you for dead.

It was just a misunderstanding. He'll come back.

He loves me. Javier?

He was looking for a way to get closer to the million.

No. We had a connection.

A bingo caller isn't allowed to fraternise with any players,

so you were his little secret.

You and Javier?

And then you told him your little secret -

the secret of what really happened the night of Babs' big win.

Don't know what you mean.

Valentina was right. Or almost right.

She thought that Babs was lying when she says she lost her purse

merely as a means of pushing in, but it was the truth, wasn't it?

Which means, that night, you broke the golden rule -

always pay for your own ticket.

After all, it's the ticket that wins, not the player.

You paid for the ticket that won the million euros,

didn't you? You know...

...she didn't ever acknowledge it.

Not once. San!

I bet Javier couldn't believe his luck.

Let's hear it for our Bingo Queen! APPLAUSE

Not only had he found someone connected to Babs' fortune,

he'd found someone with a legitimate claim to it.

And...

...someone that knew she was planning to withdraw it.

She told me she was gonna take it out of the bank...

...but she wouldn't say where.

Somewhere safe, she said.

For the girls.

But I paid for that bingo ticket. I deserved my share.

So you went to her, emboldened by Javier,

and demanded your share of the winnings.

We needed that money... so we could start our life together.

I...

I didn't mean to kill her.

THEY GASP

She told me that every penny of that money were going to the girls.

Told me...

...if I wanted my two euro back, I could have that.

I cannot believe you. But if it means that much...

Thrust a coin in my hand.

Here. There. 'Well, that were that.'

Summat snapped.

GROWLS, YELLS

I grabbed her...

..and I shoved it back down her throat.

No!

She started to choke, and I... I just panicked.

BABS COUGHS

So you left her.

Fighting for her life, she tried to call her daughters,

but they didn't pick up.

RINGING TONE

We could have saved her.

She fell, hit her head.

And then, with her dying breath,

rather than identify you as her killer,

she left a message for her daughters with the location of the money

in a way that only Connie could understand.

She was scared she had dementia, but she hadn't gone to the doctor's.

Instead, she'd used some homespun cures she found on the internet

and left herself a reminder in plain sight, on her shelves...

...as to where the money was hidden.

We knew there was something up with Mum, but she never talked about it.

She... She always said she'd take care of us.

It was you, Ronnie.

When you pretended to go out to smoke,

you actually crept across to the crime scene and found the numbers.

You've been traipsing round town with those numbers

and still haven't found anything.

And, Sandra, when you heard that Babs was dead,

I imagine you wanted to flee, get out of town as soon as possible.

But Javier needed that money.

So he convinced you to switch suspicion onto the Italians

as much as possible.

It was you wrote that note.

And you that left the fish.

Then when everyone in Benidorm was watching the football game,

he went back to Babs' van.

I knew he hadn't watched the game

when I said that second yellow card was harsh, and he agreed.

The referee is, erm, how do you say? A wanker.

And anyone watching the game would have known

it was a blatant elbow to the face.

It's lucky it wasn't a straight red.

But, I mean, that's the problem with the game these days,

is there's no consistency... Dennis.

So Javier ransacked the place looking for a clue,

but, like me, all he saw was shelves of tat.

In the end, it was you that cracked it, wasn't it?

After I gave you the numbers yesterday.

I know how her brain worked.

So then you and Javier rushed here, but...

GASPS GIDDILY

...you finally saw Javier for who he really was.

THUD

Now it was your turn to be left for dead.

He staged a different disappearance for you.

Abandoning your belongings and framing Valentina

by planting a bracelet that he'd stolen from Babs' van

at her property.

Suppose he's already in Argentina.

Argentina?

He said he owned a ranch in Patagonia.

Well, actually, the Spanish police picked him up

trying to board a flight for London Luton.

CONNIE SOBS Sandra, what have you done?

She loved you like a sister.

Oh, God!

SANDRA SOBS

We've taken Sandra Shenton to the station.

Look, Con, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the numbers. I just...

I just wanted to finally prove to her I could figure something out.

It felt like it were my last chance.

Her final easter egg hunt.

You OK, Jesus?

Yes. You need a hand?

JESUS GRUNTS No.

JESUS GASPS

Looks like you've hurt your back.

Yes, I have, and that's fine.

This is yours.

It's what your mum would have wanted.

What Mum really wanted was...

...was for us to take care of each other.

Her two little ducks.

Jesus!

WOMEN CHUCKLE

CONNIE EXHALES

PHONE BUZZES

Rosa's phone. 'Who's this?'

I'm Dennis. I work for her.

'Can I speak to her? This is her father.'

Look, do you just have a minute? I wouldnae mind a chat.

'She needs to come home. She's wasting her time.'

Look, can... can I just stop you there?

It's up to Rosa if she comes home, not you.

And I'm gonna do everything I can to stop her.

She tells me you're an accountant, so let me explain it to you

in language that you'll understand. She is an asset.

No matter what she does, however she does it, she adds value.

I can't tell you how much.

She can be annoying, she's got some pretty weird ideas,

but I know that if she left to do some diploma in bean counting,

that would be a total waste.

So, with all due respect and all of that, back off.

Just let your girl be.

I found them.

The tealights.

Happy birthday.

No present?

CLICKS TONGUE

You want to know about a dead man.

GASPS Oh, my God!

Call an ambulance, please. Do you know these families?

Yeah, they've been in all week. Did you notice anything strange?

Something's not right. They don't look sad enough.

Bad things happen when good people do nothing.

'Do you know anything about how Mick was killed?'

You think I'd tell you if I did? This is going well, isn't it?

Did you ever have a case you thought you might not solve?

'There's always enough evidence if you look hard enough.'

Just speak to Tiff, please. She's called about a thousand times.

Hello, Dennis.